Translation:

"Hi, I'm a business type person who doesn't know shit about coding and is looking for some newbie coding sucker to do all the hard work and make me rich while they get paid peanuts! But don't worry, you'll have the honor of working with me so that's reward in and of itself!"

"Also, you'll have to work every single day 9-6, even if you have no creative inspirational spark on that day, we just want warm bodies filling the chair."