Would You Be Okay With Your Girlfriend Going on A One to One Hike With a Guy Friend?

Posted by ThrowRAgrh554@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 71 comments

So I met a girl a few months ago who loves chatting to me and wanting to always be around me. I mention that I like hiking and she says she likes hiking aswell. Most of my friends at the moment want to play video games and don't like hiking so I told her she could come along with me to one of my hikes for company. She agreed but couldn't come with me on one of my hikes that I was planning because she was traveling. When she came back she has been texting me asking when I am next on a hike and she seems really eager. She tells me she has a boyfriend but one of my friends says it doesn't sound right and most guys wouldn't be happy with this. What do you think?

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Appropriate-Sir9416@reddit

The absolute spastics of Reddit will say it's totally normal for a woman in a relationship to go for a one on one hike with another dude but no normal man (someone who is not a cuck) would actually be OK with that.

She finds you somewhat attractive and is seeking attention and validation, looking to create some drama, make you prove yourself as a suitable partner, etc.

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TheNicestQuail@reddit

Innit mate

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draenog_@reddit

Deeply ironic to be claiming knowledge of what "normal men" are ok with while having the word "cuck" in your vocabulary.

I always associate that word with terminally online porn addicts, I'm afraid.

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Appropriate-Sir9416@reddit

I don't watch pornography.

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Opening-Abrocoma4210@reddit

It’s clear that by telling you she has a boyfriend she’s making it clear nothing will be happening between you two. If you’re not alright with that - and it doesn’t sound like you are tbh - I would not go

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ThrowRAgrh554@reddit (OP)

How does it not sound like I am okay with that? I have no romantic interest in her

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Opening-Abrocoma4210@reddit

The tone I picked up on was that you were hopeful something might happen. In general that’s the best advice for one on one scenarios anyway.

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BreqsCousin@reddit

Your friend sounds immature.

It's good to have friends and to do things with them!

Neither of you has any romantic intent, why would there be a problem other than people being silly?

If my partner wanted to do an activity that I wouldn't enjoy, I'd be happy that they had a friend to do it with.

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draenog_@reddit

Neither of you has any romantic intent, why would there be a problem other than people being silly?

I agree that it doesn't sound like his friend is interested in him, but reading between the lines it sounds like OP might have romantic intent.

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ThrowRAgrh554@reddit (OP)

I don't have any romantic intent

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BreqsCousin@reddit

Yep fair point.

OP you had better decide to have no romantic intent. If you can't hack that, you'll have to discontinue the friendship.

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Mamunurrah@reddit

Flip the script, you have a girlfriend or wife. And she tells you she’s going on a hiking trip one on one with a guy she met a few months ago!! Or better still you tell your wife or girlfriend you’re going on a hiking trip with a girl you met recently. What are you stupid or something I’m sorry I can’t believe some of these comments. It’s black and white.

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Meursault244@reddit

I know bro I feel like people are trolling with some of these comments, does anybody here live in the real world 🤣

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ClockAccomplished381@reddit

10 years ago I (M) had a female friend that I would do things with like go to a comedy club, gigs, interactive theatre etc. basically I worked on London and she lived there so we'd do things after work. my wife was ok with it (she was already friends with my wife before we met). Some mutual friends did joke once or twice that we were going on a 'date night'.

There was never anything inappropriate between us despite me stating overnight in her flat a couple of times. In hindsight I did enjoy her company, found her attractive and I felt we had some sort of chemistry a few years prior, but I was never going to act on that.

I think it comes down to morals and self-control, if someone is going to cheat on their partner then they'll likely find a way to do that anyway. If you deny your partner access to friendships and don't trust them them, you'll probably push away the good ones anyway.

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BeatificBanana@reddit

Yes. People can have friends and do things with them and look forward to spending one-on-one time with them. It's not weird.

I personally believe if someone "isn't okay" with their partner spending time with a friend, the actual issue is that they don't trust their partner.

I've never understood why some people act like it's not possible for a guy and a girl to be friends and spend time together without ulterior motives. The whole idea falls apart as soon as you consider that LGB+ people exist. My husband and I are both bisexual. If it was impossible to be "just friends" with a person of a gender you're attracted to, neither us would be able to have any friends 🤷

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Status-Anybody-5529@reddit

Have you actually met any LGBT people? I can promise you, they screw around at a rate that would make even the sluttiest straight people blush.

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BeatificBanana@reddit

I guess you missed the part where I said I'm bisexual?

I'm bisexual, I'm also monogamous as are many LGBT+ people.

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nathderbyshire@reddit

I think what they said in a very terrible way is it still applies to gay men, jealousy and anxiety doesn't end at straight couples.

Anytime I mention a gay friend, I've always been asked if we've had sex, or if I've 'seen it', it's basically a stereotype that because you're gay you'll fuck, and that messed with some relationships

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Status-Anybody-5529@reddit

Bisexuals don't count as much.

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ChrisRandR@reddit

All of them?

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Status-Anybody-5529@reddit

Yes mate, every single one of them, that's exactly what I said.

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ChrisRandR@reddit

You're generalising which serves to weaken your stance.

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Status-Anybody-5529@reddit

As opposed to knowingly employing fallacy to undermine a generalisation that you don't like?

There is nothing inherently wrong with making generalisations either, and not liking a generalisation because it may not be flattering in a specific context does not make that statement any less true.

If you have a problem with what I said, try disputing it in a less disingenuous way.

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ChrisRandR@reddit

There is plenty wrong with generalising! It weakens your stance. Try something else.

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Status-Anybody-5529@reddit

Okay, simple question. Do LGBT people not have higher average numbers of sexual partners and adultery?

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ChrisRandR@reddit

They do not. Sorted! Well done you!

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Status-Anybody-5529@reddit

Number of sexual partners:

https://srh.bmj.com/content/45/2/138

Infidelity:

https://datingarmory.com/gay-cheating/

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ChrisRandR@reddit

Yep. That's wrong. Now stop generalising!

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Status-Anybody-5529@reddit

You're hilarious, well done.

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ChrisRandR@reddit

I promise you, I'm really not.

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subbiedavie@reddit

100% agree. Very well put. 👏👏👏

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Mental_Body_5496@reddit

Great point

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Fickle_Hope2574@reddit

I wouldn't have a problem with it but it's very clear you've read into the situation too much and fancy her.

Don't do it.

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ThrowRAgrh554@reddit (OP)

I don't fancy her. I just want hiking buddies

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Fickle_Hope2574@reddit

Your very first line says differently.

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ThrowRAgrh554@reddit (OP)

How??

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Fickle_Hope2574@reddit

"Loves chatting to me and wanting to always be around me" That clearly implies you fancy her, did she say she wants to be around you all the time? I doubt it when she has a boyfriend. You've messaged for a bit, she's shown a interest in a hobby you enjoy and you've taken that as more than what it is.

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ThrowRAgrh554@reddit (OP)

No, I mean she keeps texting me out of the blue, asking to hang out and wear I am going. She clearly likes to spend time with me. I don't fancy her, nor do I think she fancies me. We are just friends who share interest. You are the one reading into this taking things as more than what it is

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Fickle_Hope2574@reddit

So she makes small talk like friends do, that doemsy mean she wants to be around you all the time.

Just ask her how her boyfriend would feel about it.

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ThrowRAgrh554@reddit (OP)

I didn't mean she always wanted to spend time with me. I meant that she was quite eager to spend time with me

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cgknight1@reddit

She tells me she has a boyfriend but one of my friends says it doesn't sound right and most guys wouldn't be happy with this.

Is she his chattel?

If he's not ok with it, that's his problem not her problem or your problem.

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Glad-Business-5896@reddit

I don’t think you can allow or not allow your partner to do anything. If she wants to go on a one to one hike with a guy, she can do that. If she wants to cheat on me with that guy, she can do that too, but if I found out, that’s the end of the relationship. If you don’t “allow” her to go, you’re just accepting that you believe she will cheat on you and then there’s no point dating this girl.

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kaldrogo1@reddit

does she care if you go one with a girl? that answers this question

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ChrisRandR@reddit

Yes I would.

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royalblue1982@reddit

It's fairly normal in 2025 for men and women to socialise one on one, in a way that would have probably been seen as unacceptable in my parents'generation. I have a female friend who has a boyfriend who I go out hiking with/concerts etc.

Though, lets not pretend that it's exactly the same as situations where romance/sex is completely off the cards. It's just human nature that some feelings will emerge - it's just that being an adult means that you learn to better control and live with them.

So my advice is to just go into this with your eyes open - if this person isn't a romantic prospect then manage your thoughts and feelings accordingly. Keep some emotional distance if necessary.

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Striking_Smile6594@reddit

My wife has male friends and meets up with them and does things with them all the time. Sometimes I go along, sometimes I don't. If you are in a mature relationship where both people trust each other this is not an issue.

Always beware of people who insist their partners cannot have friendships with members of the opposite sex. It's a sign of a controlling and toxic person.

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RainbowPenguin1000@reddit

I think theres a different question that should be asked here is if this girl genuinely “always wants to be around you” and “loves chatting to you” despite having a boyfriend

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AngryBadgerThrowaway@reddit

Exactly. This is what would get the spidey senses tingling, not a random hike

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rosesmellikepoopoo@reddit

Nah I wouldn’t be comfortable with that, I trust my girlfriend, I just don’t trust the dude taking her on a hike. How do I know he’s going to be safe and not get lost, or try something with her. Maybe he does this and attacks the woman when they’re in isolation.

Nope. Would think it’s very irresponsible from my girlfriend. Unless she knew the guy for years and they were close friends, that’s different.

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verzweifeltundmuede@reddit

If my boyfriend told me not to go on a hike with a friend I'd send him on a hike. If you don't trust me not to cheat on you in normal situations there is no need for us to be together.

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Meursault244@reddit

Most guys wouldn’t be happy w this. I wouldn’t go with her out of respect for her boyfriend - or at least get her to ask him whether he’s ok w it I guess. It’s just a bit odd

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ElectionDesigner3792@reddit

Dumb take.

Even if the OP has a thing for the girl, it's up to her whether she cheats on her boyfriend. She's an adult with her own mind, and she can make her own decisions. And it's up to her and her boyfriend to discuss it if the boyfriend feels jealous.

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traditionalcauli@reddit

So the guys get to decide between themselves what activities she's allowed to do and with whom?

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Meursault244@reddit

come onnnn this can’t be real. It’s obvious he likes this girl and she just told him she has a boyfriend and he’s feeling guilty about his non-platonic feelings hence why he’s asked about it here.

If my girlfriend was like “hey I’m going hiking with OP, just us two - you don’t know him” or worse didn’t even tell me she went walking in the wilderness with a random man (who in this case it sounds like he likes her a lot and she “always wants to be around him”) like obviously that’s so trash. I can’t stop her doing it lmao but there’s no way you’re a real person if you can’t see how that would be weird for the bf.

How is that downvoted 🤣🤣

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LemmysCodPiece@reddit

If you are cool with a platonic relationship, then go with her. If you aren't cool with that, then don't.

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ButteredNun@reddit

The chances that both of you have totally innocent platonic intentions and the boyfriend trusts wholeheartedly in those intentions, are Rizla thin.

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SeatSnifferJeff@reddit

Just go whatever happens. If it is platonic, then fine. If it's not platonic, then it's also fine.

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Obvious-Water569@reddit

My girlfriend specifically... Hell yes. She hates hikes.

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Zealousideal-Bed5557@reddit

Don’t listen to these lot, No it’s not ok for your gf to go out with another man one on one. You’re asking for trouble.

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raskalUbend@reddit

If i didn't trust my partner to be alone with another man, she wouldn't be my partner

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Pitiful-Amphibian395@reddit

Let her set the pace, it's not up to you to manage some other girls relationship.

Believe it or not girls have lives too and the fastest way to be an ex boyfriend is to tell your girlfriend she can't do stuff and be possessive.

I do think this particular case is a bit suspect but for all you know the boyfriend hates hiking and is grateful for the peace and quiet.

The harder pill to swallow is that neither one of them sees you as any kind of romantic threat.

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BabaYagasDopple@reddit

Not a hard pill to swallow if he just views this girl as a friend also with no romantic interest.

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Ecstatic_Trifle176@reddit

Of course I would because I'm not controlling and insecure. In fact, my girlfriend has hung around with guy friends plenty of times and I've hung around with female friends plenty of times because it's actually fairly normal. Anyone who immediately thinks its suspicious to hang around with someone of the opposite sex when you've got a partner that would immediately raise multiple red flags - insecure, controlling, unable to think of women/men except in sexual terms (which is a sign of being immature or poorly socialised). I find this attitude pretty bizarre. How old is your friend? Because they sound really young.

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Sung-Drip_Woo@reddit

You're right you're not insecure, just a cuck

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kipha01@reddit

Your friend sounds insecure and over protective. I bet he would answer bear.

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barnburner96@reddit

If he’s the kind of guy to have an issue with it then he doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship frankly.

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Liturginator9000@reddit

Yes, unless something sussy was clearly happening like it was an old ex bf they hadn't spoken to for ages and ended unrequieted, or some dude they obviously have feelings for, in both cases they can still go but they can go single instead

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running_on_fumes25@reddit

Married 18 years. IDGAF who my wife is friends with, likewise she gets no say in who my friends are. She used to do triathlon training with a guy 1 on 1, didn't bother me. That said, if she was constantly chatting to him outside of training sessions I'd be a bit concerned. This sounds like to me that maybe she "likes" you if she really always wants to be around you.

However in this scenario, you aren't the boyfriend. It's not your problem if her boyfriend isn't happy. That's something she would need to figure out herself.

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