Trees that scream when you cut them—only to guilt-trip lumberjacks.

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You all talk about screaming trees let's see how much you scream when you start wiping your ass with plastic

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I can't stand the sound of that screaming, fire up the chainsaws.

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I was going to post almost this, but essentially "this is why we made chainsaws so loud"

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Plenty of lumberjacks are meth heads that would peel your skin off for 10 cents an inch

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Lumberjacks that scream because of ceramic stakes flying into a thousand pieces

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Doesn't really slow down the workers at the slaughterhouse.

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Maybe have them speak instead of scream. Like... "why?" or... "what did I ever do to make you this mad?"

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Screaming trees? That's wild.

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Ok Mr. Lorax

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If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy

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Imagine if they bled too

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Lookup the Socotra Dragon tree. Sap is red and looks like blood

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Trees that produce sap is sorta close