What other unspoken codes does the British elite use to recognize each other?

Posted by virxedomar@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 529 comments

I recently met a Lithuanian woman who lived in Dorking, Surrey for 12 years, and she shared something that absolutely fascinated me: how hard it was for her to integrate because, as she explained, the British elite operates with a set of implicit, unwritten codes. These aren’t formally taught but are understood among themselves as ways to recognize who “belongs” and who doesn’t. Some examples she gave: Pronunciation: In Dorking, people don’t pronounce the “r” — and that’s apparently a subtle signal of status. Clothing details: Men’s suits with functioning buttons on the sleeves (i.e. ones you can actually unbutton) tend to be more expensive, so wearing them quietly signals wealth or status. Speech style: In some private schools, students are taught to speak without moving their teeth much, but with exaggerated lip movement — again, an indicator of a certain background. I’m not trying to start a class debate — I just found this hidden “language” really intriguing. I’d love to hear more examples of these kinds of subtle social signals that the British elite use to identify each other.