[-]

FkdUp2020@reddit

What's in the bowl next to the cheese?

[-]

Ruttingraff@reddit

https://youtu.be/TMR8a8nCM4c?si=jcW3pLNBFTDlS5rJ

[-]

creatyvechaos@reddit

Oh wow what a wide variety of Kraft Singles White Cheese Substitue

[-]

EdgarInAnEdgarSuit@reddit

Hey hey. That fake cheese is the best on burgers and phillys.

Although, I haven’t tried whiz.

[-]

TerminatorAuschwitz@reddit

That's mostly what queso at many cheap Mexican restaurants is. Melted white American cheese with a can of chilies or Rotel.

[-]

I worked with a guy named Israel who cooked at one for years. And he said it was. And I've made it at home with just melting white American cheese in a double boiler and throwing in a can of hatch green chilies. I'm sure some places do it differently but at some places that's definitely what they do.

[-]

zcomstar@reddit

I was jus telling my son about when we lived large as a kid, my mom would have a block of Velveeta in the fridge and a jar of Pace Picante in the cupboard- all you needed was a bowl, a spoon, a microwave and a bag of chips and life was GOOD.

[-]

ModishShrink@reddit

And it's fucking delicious

[-]

TerminatorAuschwitz@reddit

Indeed it is

[-]

Just-Call-Me-J@reddit

And grilled cheese sandwiches!

[-]

Themarshal2@reddit

Someone hasn't tried real cheese in a burger! A slice of Raclette or Scarmorza for example, just perfect

[-]

korfi2go@reddit

I always use Raclette cheese for making burgers at home. So good.

[-]

EdgarInAnEdgarSuit@reddit

Ehh. I haven’t had scarmorza but raclette could be good.

I’m not a huge fan of it but I can see it being good on a burger.

[-]

sofixa11@reddit

Even a good gouda/maasdam/emmental adds so much flavour, but yeah, scamorza or raclette or reblochon or tomme are just awesome on a burger.

[-]

Themarshal2@reddit

Camembert my beloved, put slices on the bread, air fry/oven grill it, then squish the steak/cereal or bean patty on it before finishing the burger. Molten goodness

[-]

throwawayoogaloorga2@reddit

it's not fake. vegan cheese is fake. it's more like diluted cheese jello

[-]

EdgarInAnEdgarSuit@reddit

You’re goddamn right!

There’s something in it that lets it keep its texture but it’s nothing crazy. I forget and too lazy to google.

[-]

Grand_Protector_Dark@reddit

Edit: I checked. It’s uh… not as natural as cheddar let’s say

Most process cheese is just cheddar + colby, mixed with emulsifying salt and some extra milk

[-]

EdgarInAnEdgarSuit@reddit

True. It’s really not a terrible as people think. Just because it’s a cheese “food” it freaks people out.

[-]

timewarp@reddit

American cheese is to cheese what meatloaf is to meat.

[-]

EdgarInAnEdgarSuit@reddit

You watch your mouth.

Unless you mean it’s delicious and is Made up of meat… then I agree.

[-]

timewarp@reddit

We are in agreement. American cheese is a mixture of different cheeses and an emulsifier, meat loaf is a mixture of different meats and a binder.

[-]

EdgarInAnEdgarSuit@reddit

That’s a good comparison. Sorry, people are coming at me so I’ve got my guard up! Haha

[-]

saggywitchtits@reddit

Water and sodium citrate to help the cheese and water bond.

[-]

BaconSoul@reddit

Sodium citrate

[-]

Sungodatemychildren@reddit

American cheese is usually just cheddar with sodium citrate

[-]

miss-meow-meow@reddit

Phillys, queso, and one of several cheeses in mac and cheese. Those are the acceptable uses. I don’t make the rules, my tummy does.

[-]

GrynaiTaip@reddit

Regular normal cheddar is better. Or mozzarella. I put both on my burgers.

[-]

WallyOShay@reddit

Cooper sharp is the superior cheesesteak cheese.

[-]

EdgarInAnEdgarSuit@reddit

Ok I can’t argue with that. But it’s hard to find here

[-]

Enough_Fish739@reddit

It's so cute that americans actully think that.

[-]

EdgarInAnEdgarSuit@reddit

Hey the truth is the truth. It’s not like we don’t have other cheeses here 😂

[-]

Double-Bend-716@reddit

Whiz sucks.

The first Philly cheese steak I ever had in Philly was one of the places that used cheese whiz. And I thought they made the sandwhiches better outside of Philly because they didn’t use cheese whiz.

Then when I went back to Philly and had a cheesesteak at a place that didn’t use cheese whiz, it was way better

[-]

101bees@reddit

Sometimes wit whiz hits just right though. But my usual order is provolone.

The Midwest in me likes swiss sometimes though, but I think I'd be run out of the city if I attempted to order that 😂

[-]

Huge-Basket244@reddit

Cheese whiz is awesome. Fuck you.

Jokes aside, Provolone with a little whiz is the move. Truly.

[-]

Got2JumpN2Swim@reddit

cooper sharp is the way to go

[-]

Got2JumpN2Swim@reddit

cooper sharp is the way to go

[-]

Banana_Stanley@reddit

And on/in eggs, imo

[-]

Griffithead@reddit

The wiz is the way.

If you are going to fuck around with bullshit cheese, you may as well go all the way.

[-]

Ashamed_Macaron_7915@reddit

When we visited, I had one with slices of real provolone and one with the jarred stuff. Both were good, but the Wiz was easily superior

It’s too hard to explain to people why

[-]

Big_Z_Beeblebrox@reddit

The liquid Wiz wraps around all of your taste buds and gives each and every one of them a soft, cheesy hug.

[-]

EdgarInAnEdgarSuit@reddit

Fair point. I actually recently realized whiz isn’t the stuff in the can but in the jar. Sounds much better that way.

[-]

ParticularGuava3663@reddit

It comes in big cans also

[-]

Big_Z_Beeblebrox@reddit

They meant spray cans

[-]

MyvaJynaherz@reddit

50/50 velveeta-wiz if you really need to commit war-crimes in the bathroom tomorrow.

[-]

creatyvechaos@reddit

I'm a firm believer in cream cheese + white cheddar mix superiority if we're talking melty cheeses for a philly, sorry not sorry 🫡 More of a custom one, yeah, but once you have it, and have it right, you can't go back

[-]

mykunjola@reddit

Believe all you want but order that here (in Philly) and you'll get knifed.

[-]

creatyvechaos@reddit

That's what I'm hoping for

[-]

No-Builder-1038@reddit

Melts so good

[-]

RincewindToTheRescue@reddit

My favorite poor college student snack was processed cheese food slices folded into 4ths and eaten between 2 baked buttery round crackers.

[-]

creatyvechaos@reddit

When I was a kid (age 5-8) I'd cut kraft singles into strips and swallow those strips whole because I liked the way it felt on a sensory level (cold and soft on the inside of my throat.) Did the same with the smaller fragments of cheetos found at the bottom of the bag for the opposite reason 🥴

[-]

rivertpostie@reddit

Assorted cheese food product

Can't call it cheese.

Can't call it cheese food.

Can't call it cheese product.

But for some reason they can call it cheese food product.

[-]

phycologist@reddit

I'm more surprised that they still can legally call it food.

[-]

Grand_Protector_Dark@reddit

Because its still just cheese + emulsifying salt + extra liquid (milk or whey)

[-]

Hellianne_Vaile@reddit

A sort-of cheese.

[-]

creatyvechaos@reddit

Answer for that, actually!

Can't call it cheese. // Can't call it cheese product

Reason to this bit is because it uses actual cheese as an ingredient, just a pasty version of it. Because it is accompanied by other ingredients not typical for cheese, it can not be called a cheese product/a cheese itself.

Kraft also losts cheese culture as an ingredient in their singles, which is essential to cheese production. It is there to turn milk products into the good flavors you get in cheese. However, it is in too small of an amount to meet what qualifies as "cheese," so this is most likely just there to help emulsify the milk alongside the cornstarch found in the ingredients list.

All this to say that this is the reason why Kraft Singles are classified as "cheese food product" and not cheeses.

[-]

rivertpostie@reddit

What the fuck Reddit.

I posted this like 5 minutes ago and it's not even in a top level comment.

If this were any other social media platform I would have just been called names, but here I'm getting a damn culinary science lesson

[-]

creatyvechaos@reddit

Lol I mean I did get an alert for your comment....lol

[-]

amosant@reddit

Oh but tell us how much they charged for this cornucopia.

[-]

TheRealRigormortal@reddit

Damn, wrappers and everything.

Lucky

[-]

Enero-@reddit

Yeah but what’s in the jar?

[-]

New_Fry@reddit (OP)

Raisins

[-]

Kilomech@reddit

So it just gets worse, huh?

[-]

BaconHammerTime@reddit

You don't make raisin tacos with cheese?

[-]

FitForce2656@reddit

This reminds me of people that put raisins in meatballs🤮

[-]

Clinomaniatic@reddit

Tell me that isn't real

[-]

lalanikshin4144220@reddit

Who tf does that?!?!

[-]

XTingleInTheDingleX@reddit

Delete this comment right now.

[-]

BaconHammerTime@reddit

I'm sure glad I've never ran into that. I've had the meatballs made with the grape jelly glaze, but those are delicious

[-]

FitForce2656@reddit

That's too funny, I once had grapes in a beef jelly jam, was pretty gross though tbh.

[-]

JoeL0gan@reddit

What????? 😭😭

[-]

Excellent_Lynx7402@reddit

A spoon full of raisins helps the processed cheese go down

[-]

Klin24@reddit

https://voca.ro/1dI5lO5EmGBh

[-]

BitterActuary3062@reddit

Your voice is amazing & I am dying

[-]

ReasonableDowngrade@reddit

Thank you for that.

[-]

Axxisol@reddit

In the most delightful way 🎵

[-]

PyramidicContainment@reddit

gif

[-]

SingingWanderer1195@reddit

Mary is so done with your shit Burt

[-]

Revegelance@reddit

It's so weird to see someone just call her "Mary".

[-]

SingingWanderer1195@reddit

If I'm honest, it felt weird to type it too

[-]

yougotyolks@reddit

gif

[-]

wovenbasket69@reddit

my bestie vents every now & again that men just have a Burt style one man band going in their mind instead of thoughts

[-]

miss-meow-meow@reddit

I was expecting more Tobias Funke memes

[-]

Lorekroft@reddit

I’m a therapist and analyst, aka analrapist!

[-]

BoogieDaddie@reddit

Mrs. Fingerbottom?

[-]

Mean_Can2080@reddit

Lol fingerbottom

[-]

Hustler-Two@reddit

Featherbottom. But yeah, I read it in David Cross’s voice.

[-]

Pannycakes666@reddit

Tuppencceeee🎵

[-]

adorablefuzzykitten@reddit

Does processed cheese qualify as cheese?

[-]

miss-meow-meow@reddit

It’s literally called “Pasteurized processed cheese food product”

[-]

pee_nut_ninja@reddit

Cheese flavoured product.

[-]

Qu33N_Of_NoObz_@reddit

Crazy how the actual song popped in my head randomly a day or two ago lol

[-]

highcommander010@reddit

I'd be shitting like that poor bastard in Dumb & Dumber, utterly destroying Bob Saget's bathroom.

[-]

nahnahyehnah@reddit

You're not my real mum

[-]

T3ndoe@reddit

gif

“The medicine, go DOOOWWWNN, medicine go down.”

[-]

Pure-Tadpole-6634@reddit

Processed cheese food.

You have to add that last word when it can't technically be called cheese.

[-]

anu26@reddit

Scary Poppins

[-]

cynflowers@reddit

Dairy Poppins?

[-]

ivanparas@reddit

Dairy Poopins

[-]

stephh-mo@reddit

This really tickled me 😂 thank you.

[-]

renndug@reddit

That’s life!

[-]

FitForce2656@reddit

Life truly is one big american cheese and raisins platter

[-]

English999@reddit

So it just gets worse, huh?

You’re new here?

[-]

That_Xenomorph_Guy@reddit

They’re still in the box, the box has been opened and the bag inside wasn’t even rolled up. Sir, these raisins are dry. Bring me your best raisins and your finest grape scissors.

[-]

Enero-@reddit

lol. Yep.

[-]

thatirishdave@reddit

I fucking recoiled at this.

[-]

snertwith2ls@reddit

Looks like they don't know what "assorted" means.

[-]

vyrus2021@reddit

or "cheese"

I'm midwestern, so I fw kraft singles. But they belong nowhere near a cheese plate.

[-]

snertwith2ls@reddit

I agree! I don't think they're even called cheese but are listed as "cheese food" or some weird name like that.

[-]

OreoSpamBurger@reddit

we call it 'plastic cheese' in the UK

[-]

MysticPing@reddit

We call it 'hamburger cheese' or 'american cheese' in Sweden.

[-]

ElizabethDangit@reddit

It was invented by a Canadian. We should call it Canadian cheese.

[-]

RawChickenButt@reddit

It's great on a hamburger. That's about it.

[-]

DoingCharleyWork@reddit

Grilled cheese.

[-]

HexenHerz@reddit

This! I've made some "gourmet" grilled cheese with stuff like gouda, gruyere, etc which was great. However a good eld American cheese grilled cheese, with some tomato soup is hard to beat.

[-]

Luci-Noir@reddit

Yep! There’s plenty of stuff it’s good for. Just like anything other cheese there’s stuff it’s really great for. The snobbery around it is annoying.

[-]

Deaffin@reddit

Holy shit, dude. Delete this comment before they show up.

They can smell you. They're coming.

[-]

Deaffin@reddit

Grilled cheese is just a hamburger without the burger.

You'd think that would result in ham, but no. As evidenced by the math here, the "ham" is actually just bread.

[-]

StageAdventurous5988@reddit

American cheese is an actual, real cheese that can be sliced off a block.This is "American cheese product" at best

[-]

FitForce2656@reddit

You're supposed to remove the outer cover before you eat it jsyk ^^/s

[-]

snertwith2ls@reddit

Included in the children's toy box! makes good doll house shingles.

[-]

ElizabethDangit@reddit

My son started calling it “paper cheese” as a toddler and we still call it that today. He’s graduating high school this spring

[-]

SourceDiligent6492@reddit

“Cheese product” haha

[-]

panlakes@reddit

Legally 51% cheese, per FDA requirements. lol

I do love me some processed cheese in the right application though. It definitely has a place in the kitchen.

[-]

Deaffin@reddit

The 51% number is for the ratio of the product that has to be made of "milkfat", not the ratio of cheese. The whole thing is cheese, cheese is made of multiple components, and that regulation pertains to the ratio of said components.

[-]

DoingCharleyWork@reddit

Grilled cheese gotta have Kraft singles. I also like it on a burger.

[-]

FitForce2656@reddit

Pretty good in a fried egg sandwich too

[-]

Deaffin@reddit

It's literally just cheese, but milky. The whole "It's not technically cheese" thing is just a silly arbitrary technicality that makes it sound like it's plastic or some shit. It's just cheese.

[-]

big_duo3674@reddit

"Pasteurized processed cheese food"

[-]

snertwith2ls@reddit

Yum!

[-]

MacNCheeta@reddit

Ironically, I wouldn't call them "food" either

[-]

Big_Z_Beeblebrox@reddit

"cheese food product" in some cases, "cheese food" kept getting people confused, thinking it's what cheese eats

[-]

snertwith2ls@reddit

LOL I couldn't remember what the package said, just knew it didn't say This is Cheese!

[-]

Big_Z_Beeblebrox@reddit

Darn legal definitions of cheese

Whatever it is, it's good between bread and slapped on a grill tho

[-]

snertwith2ls@reddit

It's yellow gold and melty, must be cheese!

[-]

Dagur@reddit

nailed the plate though

[-]

gimmelwald@reddit

I think they meant "A Sordid Cheese plate".

[-]

snertwith2ls@reddit

excellent!

[-]

Midnight-Bake@reddit

There are actually 2 kinds of cheese here:

The kind that was left out at room temperature at 6am this morning.

And then next to that we have the kind that was left out at room temperature at 6am yesterday morning.

[-]

Nothing-Matters-7@reddit

Actually, leaving them out at room temperature does not hurt them.

Since this stuff is individually-wrapped “slices,” and has little semblance to real cheese, I wouldn’t start worrying about it less it was left out for over a year.

[-]

DoingCharleyWork@reddit

It's legally required to be 51% cheese in America which means technically it's mostly cheese.

[-]

Deaffin@reddit

This is utter nonsense.

[-]

CartoonistWorried114@reddit

It might give you the Cheese Touch, however

[-]

RawChickenButt@reddit

The room temperature really brings out the nuances of the plastic flavors!

[-]

Big_Z_Beeblebrox@reddit

That's how you make the best kinds of real cheese, ironically

[-]

Origin87@reddit

It only makes it more powerful!

[-]

snertwith2ls@reddit

I guess that qualifies as an "assortment" at a really minimal level

[-]

Greedyfox7@reddit

They weren’t even trying.

[-]

Queasy_Ad_8621@reddit

What were they, raisin a barn?

[-]

gh0stmilk_@reddit

gif

[-]

Chi-Kangaroo@reddit

I am glad reddit adds the “OP” because I laughed at raisins when I first assumed it was sarcastic replies. Actual raisins is even funnier and sadder

[-]

T0MMY@reddit

Nah

[-]

Yoyo_Ma86@reddit

Now that’s where I’m pissed lol

[-]

panicinbabylon@reddit

Good lord.

[-]

FakeLikeYou@reddit

But you like raisins.

[-]

welshiehm@reddit

Whaaat??

[-]

RaspberryWhiteClaw13@reddit

gif

[-]

insidioussnailshell@reddit

Noooo lmao

[-]

pJustin775@reddit

This had me laughing so hard.

[-]

squebil@reddit

gif

[-]

AltruisticKey6348@reddit

Would you be raisin your kids in this diet?

[-]

UsualCounterculture@reddit

Lol America is scary sometimes.

[-]

Big_Z_Beeblebrox@reddit

This is in Indonesia

[-]

UsualCounterculture@reddit

Ahh no way! Indo has tasy food, why are people eating this??

[-]

AlienKink89@reddit

Maybe that's their view on western food? Can you blame them?

[-]

Big_Z_Beeblebrox@reddit

They don't have cheese

[-]

1LJA@reddit

Hello, room service? I would like to order a euthanasia, please.

[-]

Ini_Miney_Mimi@reddit

No effing way

[-]

angusshangus@reddit

What the actual fuck???

[-]

Acceptablepops@reddit

I think we’d have to fight in the lobby asap

[-]

PatchesMaps@reddit

ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

[-]

asyork@reddit

You can make little taquitos!

[-]

AgressiveInliners@reddit

I hate this. Thank you

[-]

Monday0987@reddit

So the cheese doesn't block your pipes!

[-]

GaptistePlayer@reddit

What country did this to you, and do you plan to flee or claim asylum?

[-]

sinncab6@reddit

Lol this is some Fawlty Towers shit

[-]

Sprmodelcitizen@reddit

I can’t think of two more middle school things.

[-]

Friendly_Age9160@reddit

Lmao what the actual fuck? 😂😂😂

[-]

motorcitydevil@reddit

Out of curiosity, are you staying in a Baltic hotel?

[-]

Total_Repair_6215@reddit

Dried fruit!

[-]

Simple-Man-7358@reddit

I'm laying in bed trying not to wake my wife up, laughing at this response.

[-]

viewkachoo@reddit

gif

[-]

Medical_Opposite_727@reddit

Suppose you'd need a bit of fiber if you're planning on making a dent in that.

[-]

i_huff_trash@reddit

It's art

[-]

DethNik@reddit

gif

[-]

SlamCakeMasta@reddit

This must have been in April 1st.

[-]

Makoto_Kurume@reddit

Indonesia?

[-]

J_is_for_Journey@reddit

gif

[-]

BAMspek@reddit

A selection of our finest Singles, and of course, a carafe of superior pickled grapes for the lady.

[-]

SmoothieBrian@reddit

😂

[-]

I-like-old-cars@reddit

What in the actual fuck

[-]

BLM_Buck_Breaker@reddit

Fuck

[-]

Not_A_Wendigo@reddit

Upsetting.

[-]

vyrus2021@reddit

You just couldn't let me live with the assumption it was mixed nuts could you?

[-]

huffer4@reddit

That’s….. not at all what I was expecting

[-]

Wooden-Sample-3683@reddit

Ewwww

[-]

Pickledpeppers19@reddit

Really? Well that’s just mean

[-]

nospendnoworry@reddit

gif

[-]

CoolBlackSmith75@reddit

Paprika powder

[-]

chessplayingspod@reddit

Four slices of processed cheese.

[-]

Late_Stage-Redditism@reddit

Cheez Whiz

[-]

theblackxranger@reddit

Tar

[-]

Zippytiewassabi@reddit

*Sorted Cheese Product Plate

[-]

CanuckianOz@reddit

64 slices of American cheese

[-]

Cessnaporsche01@reddit

Miracle whip

[-]

Gil_Demoono@reddit

Carrot straws and one single olive.

[-]

Professional-Day7850@reddit

gif

[-]

Aleksandrovitch@reddit

A sordid cheese.

[-]

Ginataang_Manok@reddit

You can’t have cheese slices without bread crumbs

[-]

Feeling-Ad-2490@reddit

Marmite

[-]

69_Beers_Later@reddit

Cheese

[-]

ExcitingStress8663@reddit

Soy sauce

[-]

hibikikun@reddit

Ah so it’s the oriental cheese pate

[-]

Saxton_Hale32@reddit

:)

[-]

Ok-Replacement-2738@reddit

Ran out of actuap cheese, "this will be fine right?" "yep good to go."

[-]

eleven-fu@reddit

Feel freed to help yourself to our ICE COLD kraft Singles.

Chilled to perfection 🤌

[-]

TotalEatschips@reddit

And don't worry, it's got a cheese condom on

[-]

eleven-fu@reddit

Gotta be safe, in these uncertain times.

[-]

TheEyeDontLie@reddit

are you supposed to peel it first or is it like rice paper?

[-]

Dumptruck_Johnson@reddit

I just pop the whole thing in my mouth and spit out the plastic later

[-]

MoissaniteMadness@reddit

I used to just Chomp down on it and then slide my teeth off of it, like a fun little magic trick where the plastic State perfectly in the shape of a square but the cheese slid out

[-]

Kind_Code_4118@reddit

Oh no...

[-]

ANUSTART942@reddit

I don't know if you're joking so I'm responding earnestly lol. It's regular old plastic that they use to wrap each individual "slice" of cheese.

[-]

miss-meow-meow@reddit

With a username like that I am shocked that you didn’t post a Mrs. Featherbottom meme

[-]

ANUSTART942@reddit

I completely forgot about that. I guess it's time for a rewatch lol. It's been a long time.

[-]

faxmesomehalibutt@reddit

I believe it's called a prophylactose.

[-]

Wanderluustx420@reddit

gif

[-]

EveryRadio@reddit

Mmm 64 slices of American cheese

[-]

English999@reddit

Those aren’t even craft singles homie. Look at the off yellow color. That’s some gas station special shit. The kinda cheese that’s crumbly and grainy when it’s not supposed to be.

[-]

drpepper7557@reddit

The cold makes it so they don't move around as much

[-]

allothernamestaken@reddit

Doesn't "assorted" usually mean more than one kind?

[-]

Kind-Experience-9589@reddit

Assorted where?

[-]

LordDumbassTheThird@reddit

Is this malaysia or indonesia?

[-]

BeginningLeather9886@reddit

Probably Indonesia tbh

[-]

innovator97@reddit

Dunno. Our language have a lot of overlap, considering that we are neighbours.

"Assorted cheese" pretty much translated exactly the same lol.

[-]

_generica@reddit

Yes

[-]

Hung_SO_SO_Low@reddit

“This is neither Assorted nor is it Cheese… Tawk Amongst Yourselves”

gif

[-]

ohheyhowsitgoin@reddit

You read it wrong. A "sorta" cheese plate.

[-]

NettieV@reddit

LOL

[-]

TurnipIllustrious468@reddit

The word assorted is doing a lot of heavy lifting

[-]

tollboi@reddit

I am eating that mfer

[-]

QueerMommyDom@reddit

This can't be real lol

[-]

throwaway098764567@reddit

i dunno google translate tells me that sign is indonesian, i'm guessing they don't have a lot of cheese over there as most of east asia doesn't mess with cheese (save for south korea which has a cheese theme park). i am surprised that the cheese they do have is a version of kraft singles, seems almost mean to have that be what you know of as cheese.

[-]

itstartswith_m@reddit

Most likely swiss garden hotel kuala lumpur malaysia. Dont ask how i know.

[-]

No_Currency_7952@reddit

East and South East Asia in general didn't have any cheese culture, and whatever you google is probably done in only a small region.

[-]

mtaw@reddit

Yeah, cheese and bread stop in India, beyond that you’re in rice and tofu land.

[-]

holdenshat@reddit

Vietnam has lots of bread!

[-]

the_inbetween_me@reddit

Which gave us the best sandwich of all time, bánh mì!

[-]

Curius_pasxt@reddit

Yummy

[-]

rachstate@reddit

Courtesy of their French oppressors!

[-]

sundark94@reddit

Cheese in India is also mostly processed chesse blend from Amul, Brittania, and (now) Milky Mist. The most speciality they go is a cheddar-moz blend for pizza cheese.

Very, very small brands like Nutoras, Kodai Dairy and Kasë do actual speciality cheese (all microbial based). Amul also fucks with speciality cheese, but very limited stock.

[-]

DannyDuberstein92@reddit

What about paneer?

[-]

No_Currency_7952@reddit

Paneer and variation of flatbread,so my point still stands.

[-]

DaniK094@reddit

I never knew this. It makes me sad. A life without cheese...not sure I can handle the thought.

[-]

Beautiful-Brain2183@reddit

Cheese is pretty popular in Japan. They put it in eggs, rice, ramen, fried chicken, the inside of burgers, okonomiyaki, curry, pizza, etc. Whatever you can think of, someone in Japan has probably made a version with cheese. While a lot of it is processed cheese, they do love soft, creamy cheeses like mascarpone and Camembert, and there’s a growing demand for artisanal cheeses and cheese makers.

[-]

foggypanth@reddit

Can confirm, am brown, was clueless about cheese until I moved to the West.

All I knew of cheese was what is on pizza and burgers - past that, nadda.

Since my palette never grew fully accustomed to it, I struggle with some of the more adventurous tasting cheeses. Hell, I struggle with Parmesan. Brie slaps though.

[-]

bioshockd@reddit

Pretty hard to make cheese without culture.

[-]

Ready-Nobody-1903@reddit

They eat a lot of cheese actually, just it’s almost all processed crap.

[-]

CoroChan@reddit

Well, as an Indonesian, I always thought cheddar cheese is the only kind of cheese in the world.

[-]

SatisfactionPure7895@reddit

I'm guessing they don't have a lot of cheese over there

4* and 5* hotels have plenty of cheese for the breakfast buffet. OP is probably just on a budget, staying in a cheap place.

[-]

the_most_playerest@reddit

the cheese they do have is a version of kraft singles, seems almost mean to have that be what you know of as cheese

Welp, at least we know why

they don't have a lot of cheese over there

[-]

imunfair@reddit

indonesia does have some buffalo milk cheeses

Bet you someone complained about it tasting weird.

[-]

BoiledWholeChicken@reddit

Mozzarella is Buffalo milk

[-]

imunfair@reddit

Some might be, I doubt the typical American mozzarella is made with buffalo milk though.

[-]

BoiledWholeChicken@reddit

Because America doesn’t follow rules or recipes. Buffalo milk isn’t very different from cow milk. Nobody would say it tastes weird when it’s the standard for cheese making. Most people would think buffalos are just cows.

[-]

imunfair@reddit

It’s not mozzarella if it’s not Buffalo milk.

/r/confidentlyincorrect - via wikipedia:

Mozzarella is a semi-soft non-aged cheese prepared using the pasta filata ('stretched-curd') method with origins from southern Italy.

It is prepared with cow's milk or buffalo milk, taking the following names:

Mozzarella fior di latte or mozzarella: cow's milk. Mozzarella di bufala campana: Italian buffalo's milk.

[-]

BoiledWholeChicken@reddit

Ahhhh, the ol’ “Well akchually! 🤓☝️” No need to be upset and try to make this into a competition about being right just because you’re a little upset about not knowing that Buffalo milk being used for cheese is extremely common.

[-]

imunfair@reddit

Ahhhh, the ol’ “Well akchually! 🤓☝️” No need to be upset and try to make this into a competition about being right just because you’re a little upset about not knowing that Buffalo milk being used for cheese is extremely common.

It isn't a competition, you're just literally wrong and it's hilarious that you tried to correct my post with wrong information and are now calling it a "competition" and changing your argument from "must be Buffalo milk" to "is extremely common" because you can't admit you were wrong.

The funniest part is even your goal post shifting is wrong, American mozzarella is not commonly made with buffalo milk, it's usually cow milk as you were already told.

[-]

BoiledWholeChicken@reddit

You keep bringing up American “mozzarella” as if that’s relevant to the discussion. It’s not mozzarella. Italian mozzarella is made with Buffalo milk.

[-]

Khoceng@reddit

indonesia does have some buffalo milk cheeses

As an Indonesian... what? I-uh, I think it's better to just say we don't have cheese culture

We do have weird food combination though, like Chocolate and Cheese as a topping for our Terang Bulan

[-]

BoiledWholeChicken@reddit

Buffalo milk is used for cheese around the world, particularly Itsly

[-]

Siilan@reddit

Japan has a lot of cheese products, which is weird considering the cheese here is fucking ass.

[-]

GaptistePlayer@reddit

The worst part of reading this is that Indonesian food is, like, awe-inspiring delicious and amazing, and instead OP got... that

[-]

Yuki_no_Ookami@reddit

I think it's cute - someone clearly knows Westerners like cheese and probably has seen cheese boards from France with grapes and they figured - cheese is cheese and raisins are dried grapes, so they will love it 😆

It's giving poor man's cheese board

[-]

rileypunk@reddit

We once stayed at a hotel near O'Hare in Chicago. The continental breakfast was a plate of individually wrapped ho hos. They were at least the hostess brand

[-]

AbraxanDistillery@reddit

I went to a buffet once that had "cheesecake" which was literally a square slice of cheddar cheese on top of a square slice of cake.

[-]

imunfair@reddit

Foreign hotel logic: Americans get the American cheese slices!

[-]

TheEyeDontLie@reddit

Do Americans not like American cheese?

[-]

cutezombiedoll@reddit

Slices like that are almost exclusively used for sandwiches (especially grilled cheese) and the blocks might occasionally be used in like a cheese sauce, like to make a queso dip or a cheap but gooey mac n cheese. We don’t put them on a cheese plate.

[-]

pinacoladathrowup@reddit

It's the lowest quality cheese you can buy. Most people only use it for things like hamburgers

[-]

damontoo@reddit

Most Americans don't eat American cheese unless it's on a hamburger. You would never see it in a hotel on a plate like this. At a hotel people would expect non-processed slices of blocks of cheese.

[-]

imunfair@reddit

I think the last time I had American Cheese slices was as a kid, but I guess it depends on your family's diet and tastes, some people only eat highly processed food like those kraft singles.

[-]

pjesguapo@reddit

Bali was amazing. But one funny experience was when ordering a screwdriver (world-famous OJ and vodka), the waiter brought me an orange Fanta and a shot of vodka.

[-]

Improving_Myself_@reddit

Correct. "Cheese" in slices like this cannot legally be called cheese and must be called "cheese product."

The process for how to make cheese is well defined, and only the products that are the result of that process can be called cheese. Things like Kraft singles, cheez whiz, Velveeta, etc. do not use that process and thus cannot legally be called cheese.

[-]

z4j3b4nt@reddit

Probably isn't or the chef is on some hard drugs because no self respecting chef would let that out of his kitchen. They'd rather tell you it's currently unavailable. Maybe there is no chef or there are some other shenaningans going on.

But I vote fake.

[-]

CatFoodBeerAndGlue@reddit

I don't get why people find this so unbelievable. It's a hotel buffet in SE Asia where cheese isn't widely available or consumed by the locals. They only have cheese to cater to foreigners.

At times they probably do have a small assortment of cheeses, but on this particular occasion this is all they had and nobody thought to, or cared to, change the sign.

[-]

damontoo@reddit

It's fine to have American cheese for burgers. It's putting it on a plate like this that's odd. It would be better to not serve it at all and instead use the space for something else.

[-]

CatFoodBeerAndGlue@reddit

It most likely is. This isn't even close to the worst thing I've seen at hotel buffets.

The most likely explanation is that, as others have mentioned, cheese isn't widely consumed (or widely available) in SE Asia so they only have cheese to cater for their foreign guests.

At times they probably do have a small assortment of cheeses, hence the sign, but I'm guessing on this day this is all they had.

[-]

SaltyLonghorn@reddit

Some cook told the event planner "we can't do that" at some point for one of 3 reasons customer dumb error, coworker dumb and on drugs error, or supplier lazy error. Said cook was then told to do whatever you can to make it happen with what you have.

[-]

dangermonger27@reddit

"there's no way we can do that.."

"... it has to happen like this, this is what was agreed"

"this was never agreed, no one told us about this and this is the first I've heard of it"

"ok fine fine, regardless - I need you to make this happen, please"

"... fuck this fucking stupid fucking place, I swear to fucking god not one stray braincell left in this hellhole assembling le cheese board while ranting

I'm pretty sure that's how it goes, that's how I've seen it go

[-]

putiepi@reddit

It is 100% real. OP really grabbed some kraft singles and really printed a sign for us.

[-]

PizzaDeliveryBoy3000@reddit

The ice is a classy touch

[-]

SkipQueue@reddit

The fact that it’s served on ice has me struggling to breath

[-]

BitterActuary3062@reddit

I need to know how much this cost

[-]

bonewizard4925@reddit

“I know you fucking lying”

[-]

Mirabolis@reddit

That’s a “sort of cheese” plate.

[-]

throwaway6287453@reddit

That isn’t even proper night cheese, it’s in individual packages. Gross

[-]

Diehoe1234@reddit

Is this worth 700$?

[-]

ParkingAnxious2811@reddit

Where's the cheese?

[-]

chang3la@reddit

Temu charcuterie

[-]

davefive@reddit

those krafty sons of bananas

[-]

Strict-Brick-5274@reddit

If this hotel in America?

[-]

WorldWarPee@reddit

This was a classic great depression era meal, they used to eat these all the way back on Wednesday and they still feast upon this delicacy to this very day.

[-]

68vwvert@reddit

5 star joint huh? That's Michelin star rated Kraft singles right there!

[-]

Interesting_Celery74@reddit

Damn, the tarrifs are affecting the cheese boards already.

[-]

Beginning-Fox-3234@reddit

Is it a guessing game?

[-]

ohiotechie@reddit

Welp that is cheese and it’s on a plate.

[-]

Over_Intention8059@reddit

Haha well it's technically a cheese tray but I wouldn't call it "assorted"

[-]

Ok_Election9009@reddit

I’d ask for bread and make myself some grilled cheeses

[-]

DanTheBiggMan@reddit

That's not cheese.

[-]

banoctopus@reddit

You got invited to the White House?!??

[-]

Bonoboian99@reddit

They did not sort that cheese at all.

[-]

Jumped-Up_Vulgarian@reddit

As if anything on that plate actually needs to be on ice….

[-]

TransCapybara@reddit

“assorted”

[-]

toasterlunatic@reddit

"Assorted"

[-]

mirfifu@reddit

What’s in the ramekin?

[-]

9w4Ns@reddit

Mmm... 64 slices of American cheese

[-]

MyActualWords@reddit

I think I’m blind

[-]

VictorChaos@reddit

gif

[-]

TropicalKing@reddit

There is an episode of King of the Hill where I think either Hank or Peggy hosted a fancy party with a cheese plate. And it was just Kraft singles cut apart with a toothpick in them.

[-]

ThePirateDude@reddit

Fuck, this hurts me.

[-]

MrBootylove@reddit

There is nothing "assorted" about this.

[-]

MelonElbows@reddit

Ya gotta cheese and a plate. Sorry if that's not good enough for you, your majesty

[-]

chknfuk@reddit

Too fancy for me

[-]

Kai-Zz@reddit

Ice cold Kraft singles. Mm 😭

[-]

Clear_Bear9558@reddit

What. You did that!.

[-]

CoolBlackSmith75@reddit

Where is the paprika powder ?

[-]

CosmicM00se@reddit

Absolutely not

[-]

a2nthony@reddit

“Miscellaneous cheese” more like it, dair-y I say.

[-]

Pal_Saradise_@reddit

Dear lord, at least they are on ice

[-]

MeatWaterHorizons@reddit

$50 each i bet.

[-]

whyitwontwork@reddit

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

[-]

Harry_Iconic_Jr@reddit

not even cheese - "cheese food"

[-]

Accomplished-Car3850@reddit

Sir, here are your kraft singles.

[-]

Nearby_Fudge9647@reddit

American cheese product

[-]

InsertRadnamehere@reddit

Where is this hotel?

[-]

sonofbaal_tbc@reddit

this looks like 300 dollar catering

[-]

Financial_Ad4301@reddit

probably $700

[-]

Xerptic@reddit

Wheres the ramp?

[-]

Abject_Champion3966@reddit

Needs several strategically placed olives

[-]

shattles65@reddit

r/comedyheaven

[-]

_Loser_B_@reddit

Oof. What's lower than "No effort?"

[-]

wyethjr@reddit

Reminds me of Andy Bernard’s

[-]

hopelesshodler@reddit

Ice cost more than the cheese 🤣

[-]

Automatic-Arrival668@reddit

What country Is this?

[-]

Huge_Inflation_9663@reddit

Maybe Indonesia?

[-]

ObeyTime@reddit

you cant tell unless you have more text to work with

[-]

Rotten-Cake@reddit

That’s one of the of funniest “cheese plates” I’ve ever seen. So little effort.

[-]

Used-Public1610@reddit

Well, now I know “assorted” really just means ‘splayed out like a deck of cards’.

[-]

Beauty_Smilesz@reddit

I think u just witnessed a crime 😳 😂

[-]

jaycutlerdgaf@reddit

It reminds me of the time I ordered scrambled eggs with cheese at a breakfast joint, and they just threw a slice of American cheese on top.

[-]

First-Ad6435@reddit

Motel 6 or Red Roof Inn?

[-]

CatsDontLikeFancy@reddit

I scrolled past this initially, laughed aloud, and came back to explain it all with this sentence.

[-]

eulynn34@reddit

Really puts the "ass" in assorted

[-]

Conscious_Farm3584@reddit

Assorted? They’re not even properly sorted let alone assorted.

[-]

Spirited-Trip7606@reddit

Is that hotel in Branson?

[-]

Mypopsecrets@reddit

A sorted cheese plate

[-]

PM_ME_GOOD_SUBS@reddit

I think you are allowed to burn it down.

[-]

1994TeleMan@reddit

A friend of mine once referred to such cheese as “dog shit, literally the worst thing you can put in your body.”

[-]

Cool-Tangelo6548@reddit

Its not even assorted! It's just 1 type of cheese.

[-]

FetusGoulash420@reddit

gif

[-]

sluttydrama@reddit

That’s $700 worth!!!

R/kitchenconfidential

[-]

BadHairDay-1@reddit

I'd be so angry.

[-]

hmmmmmm_i_wonder@reddit

More like a sorted cheese plate

[-]

1llFlyAway@reddit

That’s neither assorted or cheese.

[-]

JimPanZoo@reddit

They are not wrong. Ingredients for the typical plastic wrapped singles of “cheese” include a blend of cheeses. “Assorted Cheese” in each slice!

[-]

saljskanetilldanmark@reddit

Yes, much assorted. Very cheese.

Please remove the plastic* before eating.

*Cheese product is not considered plastic in this case and is fully edible, we promise.

[-]

newton302@reddit

It's fine.

[-]

Dazzling-Ninja-3773@reddit

Depends on what you paid. Cheap af? They did their best! Fancy hotel? Fuck those bitches

[-]

Nechiko@reddit

A sorted cheese

[-]

alexforencich@reddit

Should've served it in a bowl so it would be an "assorted" "cheese" "plate"

[-]

rlywhatever@reddit

Ass sorted

[-]

soooMiNdLeSs420@reddit

"cheese"

[-]

TamarindSweets@reddit

I just took a very deep breath and let out the best laugh I've had in a week 😭

[-]

erikivy@reddit

"assorted"

[-]

Affectionate_You3661@reddit

Well, there is a plate there... So 33.3333 is not a lie 🤭🤭🤭

[-]

ChemistryOk9353@reddit

Nice assortment? Is that in the states? If so enjoy it while you can? I mean if they imported the Gouda from Europe then this will become a real treat..

[-]

AcientFondant@reddit

Guys be nice the hotel just pre-ordered the switch 2 it’s just waiting for next week to get paid again

[-]

One_Fuel_3299@reddit

That picture deserves to be in a museum.

[-]

GIRTHQUAKE6227@reddit

Sorted cheese

[-]

Koo_laidTBird@reddit

Well it is on ice....thoughtful

[-]

welshiehm@reddit

They tried? 😟

[-]

No_Knowledge4078@reddit

I really don’t know what to think of this hotel. I’m angry they’d do this to OP, their guests but this is absolutely insane. Why’d they even bother? This is worse than having nothing. Nothing would’ve been better. I laughed, my jaw dropped, I stared wide eyed.

[-]

P0ptarthater@reddit

I didn’t see the little card at first and thought you put this together out of your own free will for dinner at a hotel. “Cheeses” 😭

Now all I can think about is homer and those 64 slices of American cheese

[-]

ZeldaZanders@reddit

I think I'm blind :(

[-]

After_Finish4615@reddit

Murica

[-]

mododo-bbaby@reddit

no that's perfect actually, I love those silly lil slices

[-]

rotenhun@reddit

They are attempting a cheese plate with the least effort

[-]

Jelousubmarine@reddit

64 slices of american cheese

gif

[-]

nbury33@reddit

Maybe it was supposed to be a sorted cheese plate

[-]

tossedaway202@reddit

This reminds me of the included "Continental Breakfast" at a hotel I stayed at. A bran muffin. A whole bran muffin. Not even coffee included or nothing, just a bran muffin.

[-]

Earnur123@reddit

Not even allowed to be called cheese in Germany, just cheese product.

[-]

ladiesluck@reddit

HAHAHAHA

[-]

Stunning-Ear-9219@reddit

That is not even cheese!

[-]

JacksonHoled@reddit

Let me guess....USA?

[-]

Rickk38@reddit

Sign next to assorted cheese: "Aneka Keju"

I live in the US and admittedly I'm not familiar with every language and dialect spoken across the country, so a quick bit of Googling indicates that this is either from Indonesia or Malaysia.

[-]

MattalliSI@reddit

Ooh! Fancy white American cheese instead of that pleab orange Anerican cheese.

[-]

DrPeterVankman@reddit

If I I might be so bold, it can be fun to allow the goldfish to go for a swim in the blue cheese

[-]

No-Consequence-2740@reddit

You sure this wasn’t at the White House?

[-]

DiorDeity@reddit

Is the assortment in the room with us?

[-]

TwitchyVGC@reddit

A sorted cheese.

[-]

areallifeonion@reddit

I mean... I guess it's "a sorta" cheese...

[-]

driedchickendays@reddit

Call the police

[-]

AndaleTheGreat@reddit

You know, I once had a day where I was at a hotel in the lobby and saw somebody doing something dumb and managed to save a woman from getting sprayed by that nasty water from the sprinklers and then spent almost 2 hours helping the staff control the water and keep the place relatively clean. Like genuinely taking charge and shouting at somebody to get as many brooms as they could and see if they had a squeegee or a couple of cardboard boxes we could tear apart. After a couple of hours of this they said that they had a room ready and they would move me into it right away so I can get cleaned up because we all stank of that nasty sitting water. They said that they were going to send me up something nice and they sent me cheese cubes that someone like ran down the street and picked up I think and they were okay but they were just like a pepper jack and a cheddar mixture and they got me like the tiniest thing of grapes but they gave me a bottle of wine which I thought was cool and then I got up to my room and it was like a $6 bottle which I knew because at the time I was working at a liquor store that spent most of our time selling to the fancy fancy people who go to the lake on the weekend.

I thought I would never see anybody top half a cup of dry cheese cubes and maybe one cup of grapes and a $6 bottle of wine. But here it is. That is impressively terrible

[-]

Tough_Feedback1292@reddit

American cheese to boot!

[-]

Do_You_Pineapple_Bro@reddit

Not very assorted, is it?

[-]

doomyrlife@reddit

LMAO it's all just kraft singles 🤣 GROSS

[-]

UpOrDownItsUpToYou@reddit

I respect their audacity

[-]

MyauIsHere@reddit

I bought one of those to make authentic American-style burgers at home. Take note that they don't really have these much in Eastern Europe and no one uses them, but it melted well, yummy in a burger. But oh boy, when I wanted to use the rest on a sandwich, it was like handling clay, something kids would sculpt with in school.

[-]

CharmedMSure@reddit

Didn’t even remove the plastic wrap, huh?

[-]

Express-Pension-7519@reddit

are you staying at hotel del(h)i?

[-]

shadowman2099@reddit

Mmm. Sixty-four slices of American cheese.

[-]

alr126@reddit

You do know that a bottle of ripple and 6 slices of cheese is considered wining and dining a lady, right?

[-]

Thesinglemother@reddit

Did anyone tell them that’s not cheese? False advertising should be a crime. At least offer grilled fake cheeses dang.

[-]

misstiffie@reddit

Super assorted

[-]

Iceman85@reddit

Best Western?

[-]

ThinkingIrrationally@reddit

Oh.

[-]

unkyfester@reddit

Motel 6?

[-]

PoorNerfedVulcan@reddit

This is a crime against humanity what the fuck.

[-]

goodguyjim2000@reddit

You can have any piece you want.

[-]

Tech24Bit@reddit

Eeehaaawwww welcome y’all to “The Western White Trash”

[-]

FivebyFive@reddit

Maybe it's a misunderstanding. like...

"I uh... Sorted this cheese"

[-]

toastedbreddit@reddit

A “sort-of “cheese plate? On it, boss!

[-]

vyrus2021@reddit

Oh, you said ASSORTED cheese plate!

I thought you said a "sort of cheese" plate.

[-]

MinPen311@reddit

At least they plastic wrap off each piece.

[-]

aliveandwellfornow@reddit

I don’t think they did, though.

[-]

Kymkryptic@reddit

Still will taste the same.

[-]

aliveandwellfornow@reddit

What’s in the bowl?

[-]

digitL77@reddit

WTH is the hotel trolling?

[-]

Mister_Green2021@reddit

What city was this? I have to know.

[-]

Plumb_Level@reddit

Amazing

[-]

comeonwhatdidIdo@reddit

The famous Americano Plastico Cheese, for your daily supply of micro plastics!

[-]

Itchy-Preference-619@reddit

American cheese is literally just (cheese+emulsifying agent) it's not plastic

[-]

AccountNumber478@reddit

Red state "cheese" plate.

[-]

Somethinggood4@reddit

I guess that's a sort of cheese.

[-]

Relative_Yesterday70@reddit

I’m so sorry but this is hilarious. Hilariously bad

[-]

LokTharOga@reddit

dont call it cheese.. its more chemistry as food.

[-]

Techs-Mechs@reddit

“Boy! Get the fancy cheese!” “We got Kraft. And we got Velveeta.”

[-]

Junior-Hair-4637@reddit

What's sad is... By the color of that cheese you can tell that it's not even Kraft singles. It's some absolute straight up garbage. Not saying Kraft cheese is good, but it's better than the cheaper stuff. Real ones eat Tillamook Cheddar.

[-]

Hamphalamph@reddit

Gross af. American 'cheese' makes me gag just thinking about eating it.

[-]

itsjudemydude_@reddit

That's a cheese plate substitute, bro. They can't legally call it a cheese plate.

[-]

Parvashah51@reddit

The finest of 'em all, it's the American cheese, a great cheese, the best as some would say. I know some great cheeses, and they all agree this one is the best.

[-]

ithinkimlostguys@reddit

What exactly is assorted about this??

[-]

spidersinthesoup@reddit

helllz yeah...grab some bread and make a toasted cheese right there in the waffle maker.

that's the only thing that cheez is good for anyway

[-]

Own-Butterscotch7471@reddit

Lol

[-]

DMvsPC@reddit

So probably what, $700?

[-]

whitepanther20@reddit

They meant “sorted cheese plate” see how they got that plate sorted for ye?

[-]

E-werd@reddit

Indonesia, what are you doing?

[-]

Septopuss7@reddit

Cheesus Christ

[-]

FracturedConscious@reddit

“Cheese”

[-]

mjshj@reddit

"We got Kraft, and we got Velveeta."

[-]

BeeComprehensive5234@reddit

Oh man

[-]

honorable__bigpony@reddit

A sort of cheese....fixed it.

[-]

Friendly_Fire069@reddit

A sordid cheese plate. FTFY

[-]

Top_Committee_9539@reddit

Sometimes when you travel, staff just don't know any better. With import tax and all, maybe that is their most expensive cheese.

[-]

Infamous_Cow_8615@reddit

ON ICE LOLOL

[-]

PatchesMaps@reddit

At least it's cold?

[-]

stonks2rkts@reddit

order 100 cheese burgers next. tell them you know a guy if they run out of cheese.

[-]

karlou1984@reddit

It's not even real cheese

[-]

i_was_axiom@reddit

Technically, this is a charcuterie board with a ramp

[-]

LittleRadish2187@reddit

A sorted cheese plate......

[-]

jeand207@reddit

To be fair, nobody knows what is actually in those kraft singles, so there is a non-zero chance that there may in fact be traces of assorted cheese in there somewhere

[-]

XariaStrange@reddit

There was an ad for Kraft singles for me underneath this post

[-]

BeatricePantew@reddit

“cheese”

[-]

Wrong_College1347@reddit

It should be a crime to call this cheese.

[-]

the-poopiest-diaper@reddit

Legally it is, at least in the US. Companies are forced to call this “cheese product”

[-]

the-poopiest-diaper@reddit

That is a sloppily organized cheese product

[-]

PG-DaMan@reddit

Take the A off and you are fine with the sorted.

[-]

OlafTheBerserker@reddit

No one is gonna say anything about the wet spots in the background?

What the hell is that OP?

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shartshooter@reddit

A sorted *

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EvenPack7461@reddit

Hahahah. No fucking way. That's crazy.

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HugSized@reddit

If that's what the hotel is offering for cheese, i don't want to know what the rooms look like

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niezapominienajka@reddit

Name and shame

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AuntyVal4@reddit

Classy!

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TommyGonzo@reddit

700 a slice!

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indiana-floridian@reddit

Ugh!

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beachbetch@reddit

OMG I had to zoom in, the plastic is still on the slices 😂😂😂

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Ok_Monitor5890@reddit

Spared no expense

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QinsSais@reddit

At least it's on ice lol

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QueezyF@reddit

Yes, that’s cheese.

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Vritrin@reddit

Arguable.

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Grand_Protector_Dark@reddit

It contains more cheese than vegan cheese

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Round-Educator-4138@reddit

Assorted disgust

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Uponacloud13@reddit

Shark cuterie

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Ilpav123@reddit

"Assorted" I guess they took all the orange ones.

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Then_Mastodon_639@reddit

Please name the hotel so we can all avoid it!

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sleepyhedgie26@reddit

immediately no 😭

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SerRaziel@reddit

That cheese is looking pretty sorted.

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Madetoprint@reddit

A "sort of" cheese.

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Bathsalts_McPoyle@reddit

Plain and white like a meeting in a Home owners association

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fhost344@reddit

Seems not really sorted, but more shuffled

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dadbodking@reddit

Ass-sorted

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vyrus2021@reddit

or sordid

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tdevine33@reddit

Ah, the sign is probably a spelling mistake. "A Sordid Cheese"

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Stuffinthins@reddit

I hope hands were thrown

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dhurane@reddit

Weird, usually Swiss Garden Resorts have at least some reall cheese selection. Might be their budget chains like Swiss Inn or Swiss Avenue.

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EffectiveArachnid274@reddit

That is a sorted cheese.

What did you expected, sorted cheeses?

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derossx@reddit

Ewwww

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Leading-Midnight5009@reddit

This is the most white peopel thing I’ve ever seen-

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JC1199154@reddit

"Assorted" Only sees one type

gif

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Early_Lion6138@reddit

Had similar situation on a Chinese cruise ship, they understood the concept but execution was “we did our best with what we had”.

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Ok-Employee3630@reddit

3M Cheese?

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Ravac67@reddit

Amazing.

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_AlwaysWatching_@reddit

Luxurious

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HaveaTomCollins@reddit

Assorted “cheese product”

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Ya-Dikobraz@reddit

I bet the rest of the selection was awesome, since it's either Indonesia or Malaysia. Just the fact that it's on a huge tray of ice tells me that.

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Toastfromthefuture@reddit

You're getting your $50 a night resort fee money's worth.

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GGF2PLTE511SD@reddit

A “sort of” cheese plate

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FreshSent@reddit

I just glanced at it and thought it was a bunch of bills.

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Dippa99@reddit

Mmmm...64 slices of American cheese

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galaxy_horse@reddit

More hot cocoa, Mr. Burns?

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puzzlemaster_of_time@reddit

I think I'm blind...

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17Havranovicz@reddit

to be fair, it is a cheese plate. Cheese on a plate

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That-Bluejay3533@reddit

This can't be real! .. where are you? 😂.. geographic not specific

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Slayer44k_GD@reddit

not assorted
not cheese

Looks good to me 👍

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South-Ad1015@reddit

Whats with the ice, is that normal aside from the shitty cheese? Non American asking.

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emceelokey@reddit

More like "A sorted" cheese plate

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certified_prime@reddit

Or, "a sort of cheese".

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grandemontana@reddit

Brag. We get it. You’re a fancy lad.

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Rammipallero@reddit

I mean they are "a sorta cheese".

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CoachLee_@reddit

Could just not put the cheese out all together.

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Life-Oil-7226@reddit

Is this an April Fools' joke?

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Far-Formal2394@reddit

TIL assorted means alot of the same thing 🧐 I'm gonna be so fucking smart soon!

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PrincessTitan@reddit

What is assorted?! The singular packets?!?

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Greengrecko@reddit

Im assuming this is a non English hotel?

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stercus_uk@reddit

No damn way I’d pay for that.

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Samtoast@reddit

"A sorted them on to this plate for you" - hotel employee

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Ancient-Highlight112@reddit

I would have sent it back.

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mjollnard@reddit

Are you staying at a Motel 6?

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MrBlueeyes0809@reddit

Is the assorted cheese plate in the room.with us? All i see is sadness

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randomcrazy@reddit

That sorted cheese

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DealSelect7098@reddit

Ewwwww

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Additional_Note1606@reddit

Don't fill up on cheese.

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Prof_G@reddit

hotels in asia trying to please westerners. westerner takes picture and makes fun of hotel.

i'd love to see the fried rice selection in a western hotel.

such is life.

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kiln_monster@reddit

Quick...get a crying baby!!!

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Hector_P_Catt@reddit

"No, we said 'A sort of cheese'!"

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LeonidasVaarwater@reddit

That cheese has literally only one use in my book: on a cheeseburger.

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LordFluni@reddit

Mmm, 64 slices of American cheese.

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acakaacaka@reddit

This is sorted cheese not assorted cheese

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probably_bananas@reddit

Is a dog that hotel manager?

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acakaacaka@reddit

Keju without keju

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TheJivvi@reddit

That's not the whole cheese plate. That's just what's left after all the actual cheese got eaten.

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RDGCompany@reddit

Must be staying at Fawlty Towers.

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Individual-Mess5742@reddit

goals

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AjaxOilid@reddit

If the jar has honey it will still be tasty, but ... from the impression I'd be happy if it's not dogshit inside

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pandaSmore@reddit

This is some white cuisine.

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lolascrowsfeet@reddit

Looks like the same cheese, not an assortment

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MyOverture@reddit

That’s disgusting

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Takemyfishplease@reddit

Easy $700.

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LikeInnit@reddit

Assorted is a massive overstatement haha

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No-Heat-5623@reddit

Lol

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homelaberator@reddit

Malaysia or Indonesia?

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TheNoctuS_93@reddit

gif

64 slices of american cheese...

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Sakshou@reddit

For Asians and a lot of Americans it's cheese enough

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Awkward-Exercise1069@reddit

It’s not assorted, and neither it’s the cheese. They’ve literally lied for the 100% of the two words description

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cyber_loafer@reddit

Hahaha which Swiss Garden Hotel is this?

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Struwwelkaetzchen@reddit

That's not considered cheese where I come from (Germany) xD

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BrucellaD666@reddit

Sure it's the sort of cheese that Walmart sells for 1.99/16 slices.

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allhellno@reddit

Just needs a ramp to the bowl and this sucker is worth 700 easily

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ForsakenSun6004@reddit

Well that’s just fucking lazy

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One_Asparagus_1766@reddit

But dat ice bucket doe

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AccomplishedGas6229@reddit

We are getting loose with the term assorted

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sussurousdecathexis@reddit

Clearly it's typo - it's supposed to say "A Sort Of Cheese Plate"

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DueLab414@reddit

A sorted cheese they are in a row

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Built-in-Light@reddit

That seems very sorted to me. That cheese pile is homogenous.

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Irrelevant_Jackass@reddit

Technically correct

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Ethereal_Bulwark@reddit

I mean... Technically.

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MonsutaReipu@reddit

If they had left some keebler club crackers you'd be in for a bit of dine dining.

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imtired-boss@reddit

1) It is cheese 2) It is assorted 3) It is on a plate

Task completed.

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psyde-effect@reddit

I once got a ploughman's lunch in Healesville, Victoria it came with processed bread and sliced cheese from the supermarket.

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LionBig1760@reddit

Bullshit.

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Ecstatic_Mark7235@reddit

It's fancy since plastic wrap is still on.

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cmdrqfortescue@reddit

This cannot be real.

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bammab0890@reddit

Its probably not. They likely went out and bought a pack of kraft singles and posted this for karma.

Why go through the effort for internet points that mean nothing?

We'll never know.

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GuyFromLI747@reddit

Ohhh you’re staying in a fancy hotel

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fddfgs@reddit

Look at that bed of fresh ice

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Vritrin@reddit

You don’t want the delicate cheese to melt inside their plastic wrap!

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Professional-Day7850@reddit

That cheese has a long day ahead of it!

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Usual-Remarkable@reddit

What 😂😂

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_Gengar_Trainer_@reddit

Lmao, throw that shit in the hall

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aaryg@reddit

But it's the one type? How is it assorted?

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amirlyn@reddit

It should be illegal to call Kraft Singles "cheese".

me, -1 points 6 years ago

I still stand by that comment.

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sea87@reddit

Is it to make raclette?

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slothxaxmatic@reddit

It's basically the food elementary school gave me when I didn't have money for lunch

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mossybuttz@reddit

Was this an April fools prank?

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Federal-Owl-8947@reddit

How about some assorted bread

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Upstairs-Basis9909@reddit

Check your bed for bed bugs.

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plainwornout@reddit

They thought that you said that you said that you wanted a sordid cheese plate, perhaps?

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ross571@reddit

That's a $100 plate lol.

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Worksux36g@reddit

There's nothing "assorted" about that "cheese" plate...

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PartyAlert4297@reddit

1, Is it cheese? 2, Is it on a plate?

What is your problem buddy?

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HadesGhost@reddit

*A sort of cheese plate

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cowvocado@reddit

This is so funny to me, just the worst cheese plate I’ve ever seen… and what’s all the ice even for? Enjoy your many slices of cheese and jar of raisins lmao

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Embarrassed-Fan-3062@reddit

That's soo fancy!!

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consumeshroomz@reddit

Cheese? Debatable.

Assorted? Absolutely not.

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Medical_Opposite_727@reddit

I just noticed it's on a platter on a bed of ice lol

What hotel are you in ? Are they new ?

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om11011shanti11011om@reddit

It's nice they keep it on ice though. Wouldn't want warm processed cheese and raisins!

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DosManosBurrito@reddit

Homer Simpson would have no problem w this. “Mmm…64 slices of American cheese.”

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Efficient-Winner1910@reddit

Elon Musk has been here

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Pieniek23@reddit

Fancy AF. Sheesh, are those individually wrapped? Nice.

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Kapika96@reddit

So they don't know what ″assorted″ or ″cheese″ mean? At least they got plate right I guess.

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zoon1985@reddit

The ice costs more than the cheese

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maxru85@reddit

Jeez

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Thrills-n-Frills@reddit

Technically correct lmao

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Bumpyskinbaby@reddit

Mmm… 64 slices of American cheese…

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tiredbutsassy@reddit

A "sorta cheese" plate

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MyBeardSaysHi@reddit

Assorted? Those bits of cheese are all the same....

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cxrra17@reddit

I just know it was $35 😂

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gamerlin@reddit

Is Michael Scott hiding underneath it?

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Gatsomaru2@reddit

Where's my Oscar Mayer Bologna ?

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BowsersMuskyBallsack@reddit

Man I wish I could play guitar. I would stand next to that and channel my inner Simon and Garfunkle.
Hello singles, my old friend.
I've come to peel you free again...

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Origin87@reddit

Mmm… 64 slices of American cheese

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Origin87@reddit

Mmm… 64 slices of American cheese

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SnoopThylacine@reddit

They low key trying to start a war with France.

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SabotMuse@reddit

Now with extra microplastics for your convenience

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StupidIdiot1954@reddit

“Assorted” “cheese”.

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SFDessert@reddit

Fascinating that anyone would consider this acceptable. It's downright silly.

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creampop_@reddit

seriously, not even a vegetable ramp in sight, total amateur hour

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TheFabHatter@reddit

I once went to a midtier Hong Kong restaurant and it was HEAVILY promoting their signature dish, the lobster noodles with cheese. They had Kraft single pennants decorating the place and when my family ordered the noodles they proudly showed me the Kraft cheese packet, on a silver platter, to show me that it was the genuine product.

Then they carefully brought out the lobster noodles separately and carefully, and with great ceremony, draped 3 slices on the lobster body.

I guess they considered it a big deal there? But I’m from the USA so it was just weird, but CAMP to me.

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p3ppermintpurr@reddit

they really said “assorted” like it’s not the same cheese stacked 30 times

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Few-Emergency5971@reddit

Fancy!

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Mysterious-Call-245@reddit

It’s a cheese that’s been sorted

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orundarkes@reddit

I think you meant a sorted cheese plate.

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Yaya0108@reddit

Is that even really cheese?? 😭

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MarlonBangie@reddit

Did you ask for more cheese

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Classic-Exchange-511@reddit

Lol this can't be real. What country are you in that they put out raisins and kraft singles?

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No_Software_8402@reddit

It is a sort of cheese I guess.

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JackfruitSafe6254@reddit

peak cuisine

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AiRollaX@reddit

A sort of cheese?

[-]

BubbleHeadMonster@reddit

No Brie or Gouda…..just plastic cheese ……

[-]

Lord_Phoenix95@reddit

The Asians definitely made them change the "assorted" Cheese.

[-]

dTrecii@reddit

Well it definitely is a sorted selection of cheese

[-]

Carpe_DMX@reddit

The Andy Bernard special.

[-]

Miora@reddit

Is this hell??? What the fuck, you said there were raisins in that cup??? These things don't go together like this 😭

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darkviolets4@reddit

A sort of cheese.

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Javi-chan@reddit

Fancy pants over here.

[-]

someone_77@reddit

I think it was supposed to say "A sort of cheese"

[-]

IonicGold@reddit

It is indeed a sorted cheese plate so

[-]

thelocalllegend@reddit

😭

[-]

Dry_Software_1824@reddit

Are you staying in a jail?

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dabarak@reddit

It would have been assorted if they'd remembered to poke holes in half the slices.

[-]

lemons_of_doubt@reddit

Correction it's an assorted "cheese" plate at the hotel you're staying at

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Inevitable_Channel18@reddit

This is will end up in r/ShitAmericansSay with them seriously saying “This is what Americans call a cheese plate”

[-]

irrelevantanonymous@reddit

Neither assorted nor actually cheese. Bravo

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cronx42@reddit

You spelled "A sordid" cheese plate wrong.

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vyrus2021@reddit

What are you talking about? All the cheese is sorted and neatly wrapped.

[-]

ManyReach7296@reddit

Oui, Oui, Monsieur. From the Wisconsin region, a nice firm cheddar. Also from the great state of Wisconsin, an aged parmesan. Here you will find a cheddar style spread which has reacted nicely with the air to form a light rind which I think you'll find both challenging and delicious.

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