I was kicked out of flight school while my flight before my instrument checkride and I want to kill myself.

Posted by Public-Pudding-9295@reddit | aviation | View on Reddit | 9 comments

I have had a lot of frustration with my flight school CAE. I was recently let go from my program but told I could finish my checkride. In one of my two warm up flights before my check, I was exhausted and had the long blinks trying to stay awake. My CFI offered to fly the plane home. I was told two days later I am being let go and will not get to take my checkride because my tiredness is a liability. I am 80k into my flight school. I do not have the credit or funds to transfer schools and my dream of being a pilot is just about killed. This is the only thing I’ve wanted to do with my life and I really do not have a desire to live. Going back to making cold calls for a tech company will not pay off this debt; I will never be able to buy a house and I don’t think there is anything in life that could bring my happiness.

I want to die, but I know suicide won’t be covered in my life insurance policies and I would hate to leave my parents and siblings with this debt. I’m really tempted to book a one way trip to Europe or Asia; spend the rest of my money and take one last cliff dive. I really feel like I have nothing left to live for. I don’t have a spouse, children or anyone else depending on me; it almost feels right to just end my life.

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bd_whitt@reddit

First of all, don’t. It seems like it’s the end but it’s not.

Second, if you need help, go find it and don’t come to reddit. The internet is historically a terrible place for sympathy. You can find a therapist, NOT PSYCHIATRIST, to visit that does not need to be disclosed to the FAA as long as they are not diagnosing anything or prescribing meds. Try better help. Just texts/calls can help. Non reporting.

Third, if you have the ability, read the documents you signed to start school there. If you didn’t breach any of the clauses in the agreement they can’t let you go because you were tired. Granted, they have teams of lawyers that will fight you but if you can prove you did nothing “wrong” you might be able to have a case.

Lastly and most importantly, a bit of tough love and hard truth…if you want to unalive after a — albeit inconvenient— setback, you might want to take a step back from this. Being a pilot is hard, rewarding, challenging, etc etc etc. there’s highs and lows. Lots of lows. Checkride failures, constant training, someone or something always watching and judging you (Pax, captain/fo, union, management, FOQA, FAA, AME, DPEs the list goes on). This career isn’t for the faint of heart. You’ll be stuck in the right seat for years. Then you’ll upgrade, then furloughed, put on the street, find a new job/get picked back up, be BACK in the right seat, go on medical leave, lose your medical, win it back, then retire, THEN die. That’s the pilot cycle. THATS what being a pilot is like underneath all the glimmer and glam, sparkly shit is still shit.

Don’t be a cheater and just skip to the die part. Get in line and follow the rest of us. No one likes a line cutter. No “upgrading” before your number is called.

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bd_whitt@reddit

Oh also, now that you’ve vented, SCRUB this from your online persona. Delete the account all together or delete every link there is to your real life. The FAA could find you or some asshole on here might have an inkling of who you are because you have a peculiar reason to stop training. They can screenshot this, report it, and badda bing badda boom, no more medical.

Calling_left_final@reddit

Where there's a will, there's a way. Taken some time off, sleep, eat and then starting looking at other schools, especially in Asia there's cheaper ones such as in Sri Lanka. It's only over if you say its over, not if others say it. Most importantly, do not kill yourself, people who survive suicide attempts all say that they felt regret when trying to suicide, so don't.

Working-Reason-124@reddit

Jumping off a cliff is a easy way out and not a solution. You have a family and you obviously have come a long way. Everything happens for a reason. Just take a step back for a short time and try to recoup and then look at options on transferring or reapplying. There is always a way if it’s meant to be.

I been down some pretty dark paths similar to yours but realized things happen for a reason and if it’s meant to be, it will work out. Never know what tomorrow will bring

CTV49@reddit

988 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

Veterans and their loved ones, press 1 to reach specialised support.

Press 2 for Spanish-language support.

For LGBTQ+ or youth, press 3.

Online Chat: https://chat.988lifeline.org/

Crisis Text Line: Text 741741

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