Local resident and accountant Jeff Monihan says the move is a clear effort to oppress men. "I moved here from Plano to avoid this kind of oppression. Why does Forney hate my work truck so much?"
Posted by suburbanista@reddit | Dallas | View on Reddit | 55 comments
squirrelnutcase@reddit
What in the Dallas Texas is going on!? 😊
One_of_those_ones@reddit
Just say it identifies as a compact car, reinstate all the inclusion (DEI) polices, then expect to be included. 🤌🏽
SadAdministration438@reddit
Suburbanista once again delivers haha. 😂
DaSilence@reddit
Register your shitbox, get valid plates, get some insurance, and quit driving like an asshole who is smoking meth and heroin simultaneously.
Delicious_Hand527@reddit
I have a Nissan too! You're not my stepdad's sister, you can't tell me what to do.
SadAdministration438@reddit
Lmao my car has insurance, valid plates, and is registered lol. Plus I don't do drugs dumbass.
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suburbanista@reddit (OP)
Suburbanista always delivers, and you better believe we park in the bike lane when we do so.
YaGetSkeeted0n@reddit
Ah, the International CXT. From the days when a Hummer H2 just wasn't enough.
suburbanista@reddit (OP)
The Hummer H2 is a ladies' vehicle. It's valid, but isn't optimized for the needs of guys.
Men need more room to stretch their legs, and need to be the protector their families by ensuring the other family dies in the event of a traffic crash.
3-DMan@reddit
But once you add the M60 to the top, you're back to being male again!
noncongruent@reddit
M60? LOL, that's a toy. What it really needs is a twin Bofors L/70 using 40x365 ammo. With a 10' barrel if someone's getting a little too close to the side of your vehicle you can reach out and tap their roof to let them know to ease away a bit.
BethanyHipsEnjoyer@reddit
Lmao, you're doing fine work sir.
Ashmidai@reddit
Yeah, when they slimmed it down to "adhere to parking space dimensions and normal street lane width" they might as well shipped each one with those pussy hats them woman folk protest in. I mean, what kind of truck doesn't have room for 2 manly dudes to manspread in the cab without playing footsie or some other gay shit, am I right boys?
suburbanista@reddit (OP)
You are 100% correct. Our male staff members report feeling empathy and being in touch with their own emotions when driving any vehicle under 10,000 pounds.
trying_to_adult_here@reddit
Yeah, my local car wash doesn’t allow dual-wheeled trucks either. Because dual wheels are too wide to fit in the track that pushes the car through the wash.
What a moron.
electricgotswitched@reddit
Pssttt... this is satire
noncongruent@reddit
In the olden days I enjoyed my satire delivered with elegance, laced with piquant notes of subtlety and complexity. Nowadays, in the current climate of insanity, I'm finding my satire in a dumpster, and though it's a chore, I'll pick the flies off and consume it because that's all that's left in the world.
suburbanista@reddit (OP)
We can’t just accept that. By the time Gen Alpha is buying vehicles, young men will have an average of 2.5 tires per wheel according to a Suburbanista study. If DFW’s car washes refuse to serve them, it’ll be an obvious and intentional effort to feminize men back into their dainty little Ford F-150s.
This is Texas. We have to stand up for our rights and protect our sons and brothers.
EFIW1560@reddit
Your troll level is over 9000 and I'm here for it
JimmyRevSulli@reddit
It's my constitutional right to have my lifted cummins' bumper at head level to your toddler
omar_strollin@reddit
Car washes a such bigots to big bootie duelies
Emy_kate@reddit
They probably won’t let him enter because its ugly as f*ck 😂
Ambitious_Ad_9637@reddit
Let me guess; this “work truck” is for driving to your office job in Frisco?
hevea_brasiliensis@reddit
This is dumb click bait
USMCLee@reddit
This is satire right?
grendus@reddit
Suburbanista is a satire website.
paid-program@reddit
I’m in Forney every day and never seen this guy
WraithHades@reddit
He's still waiting at the god dang carwash!
SimpleVegetable5715@reddit
It's because he left you in a cloud of black smog.
noncongruent@reddit
I can't believe that people can't own an emotional support truck without being hassled!
grendus@reddit
That's my gender affirming vehicle! Those are still allowed!
Ichgebibble@reddit
“Can’t physically fit it in”. I’ll bet he’s never heard that before.
suburbanista@reddit (OP)
I can't believe "Truck Shaming" isn't an option for reporting a comment on this subreddit. Exactly what I'd expect of a subreddit for coastal elite city that has been thoroughly transit-pilled.
Ichgebibble@reddit
Coastal elite 😂😂😂
frotc914@reddit
The coast of the mighty Trinity River
Pickycotton@reddit
I would wager very few men have heard that.
JollyCash7108@reddit
Snowflakes
PurpleQuantity6688@reddit
Honestly.. why is this shown at the top of our Reddit. We have much bigger issues to worry about.
suburbanista@reddit (OP)
Large pickup truck owners are the least privileged people in our society, and DFW's car washes, mechanic shops, and parking spaces just can't stop kicking them while they're down.
There are other issues, but try showing a little empathy.
HOU_Civil_Econ@reddit
The cool kids sat in the back of the bus, now we park our canyoneros in the back of the parking lot
DFWGrovite@reddit
Please provide a link, or I'm assuming this is rage bait.
suburbanista@reddit (OP)
You can verify the seriousness of this story on our Bluesky.
DFWGrovite@reddit
Same story with no verifiable link.
AbueloOdin@reddit
I know Jeff personally. He has been on the forefront of Men's Rights before he even owned a Dodge D450000000000 back in 1995.
DFWGrovite@reddit
Maybe...but OP could at least provide a social media post, directly from Jeff's account, to verify this isn't just upvote bait.
Phynub@reddit
whoosh
DFWGrovite@reddit
Probably... thanks for pointing it out...lol
rikkmode@reddit
No more DEI trucks
SamHenryCliff@reddit
It’s pretty clear lil’ Jeff really loves Big Black Truck why can’t we have some empathy for this poor fella.
theshallowdrowned@reddit
Can people no longer detect satire?
blackop@reddit
When you have a unique vehicle like this you really Need to either was it yourself or go to a detail company for a wash. The drive thru car washes just can't handle a vehicle this size.
BlueHorse_22@reddit
I woulda guessed he's an accountant. Rural cosplay baby!
suburbanista@reddit (OP)
Is it really cosplay if our man is wearing the costume and fashion accessories of an exaggerated rural conservative in order to roleplay as a character from America's rural farmer mythos?
I say the the people riding trains in the urban core of Dallas are cosplaying as hot tea sipping, healthcare-having Europeans.
Phynub@reddit
damn snowflake.