The bathroom door is broken

[-]

Regular_Pride_6587@reddit

That's part of the braintrust running the company.

Set your expecations low

[-]

dr_warp@reddit

My favorite was "the fridge is making a weird noise, it started after you guys updated Citrix".... Ummm, what?

[-]

YetAnotherGeneralist@reddit

Well Microsoft stock is down ever since you sent this email, Robert.

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jmbpiano@reddit

Despite not knowing anything about your workplace, I'm going to go ahead and guess that they are technically correct here.

[-]

LucidZane@reddit

Yep, updating Citrix Refrigerator can cause this.

[-]

rollingviolation@reddit

do NOT install Citrix Refrigerator. It's just a food presentation layer. They're just showing you a remote fridge, but the users will have no idea how it works.

Also, the only way to uninstall Citrix Refrigerator is to get an entirely new Freezer.

[-]

dr_warp@reddit

I heard there was a reghack you could do, but then you have to defrost the client's virtual profile overnight....

[-]

Gadgetman_1@reddit

Did that once... but misread it and left the user in a tub of lukewarm water overnight.

Not a pretty sight...

[-]

nighthawke75@reddit

A counselor called in a ticket, saying strange sounds coming from the adjacent server room.

That made it a severity 2 ticket, since it might be a fan or HVAC going out. So, I made the three hour ride to the campus.

I could not hear any issue, the HVAC and servers were good. So I played the patience game, sat down beside the server room and the beer box and waited.

Clunk, whirr, slurrp, gurgle. I cocked my head like an owl listening for the source.

The beer box had started up and was operating in a normal state. The counselor said, "That's the noise!"

All these years, and she finally piped up about it. I polished a couple of other tix off, then went to my motel.

My bosses just laughed their heads off.

[-]

BemusedBengal@reddit

I cocked my head like an owl listening for the source.

Me trying to find the server that's beeping

[-]

nighthawke75@reddit

I usually start yanking power cables until it got quiet....

Kidding, I'd log into each server and start hunting for flags. Or do the hoot owl head tilt until I found the fucker.

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UninvestedCuriosity@reddit

I feel like this is still possible in a Citrix environment.

[-]

PsyOmega@reddit

I once got a citrix ticket from a user complaining about the citrus in the fridge (which they were allergic to)

[-]

dr_warp@reddit

Thought I could save a few bucks, sometimes the lesson costs more!

[-]

timbotheny26@reddit

That's when you find out it's a smart fridge that they connected to the Wi-Fi without telling anyone.

[-]

RunJumpJump@reddit

The HAND HOLDING required for some of these "leaders" makes me want to take a running leap through a window.

[-]

Vast-Avocado-6321@reddit

I had to install bed rails at the CEO's house once.

[-]

epitrochoidhappiness@reddit

With cuffs and other, um, accessories?

[-]

223454@reddit

Do you know the VP? That sounded like a great chance do some smoozing. "You've never seen the first floor? Let me show you around."

[-]

Getting to know an executive sounds like a great idea until you realize most companies hand out that title like free water and is it really worth getting to know someone when your first impression is that they are as dumb as a rock?

[-]

Any-Fly5966@reddit

So true. I cant tell you how many directors we have that don't have a single person reporting to them.

AnyFly

Systems Director

[-]

theloslonelyjoe@reddit

Welcome to help desk! Where every Non IT person thinks you can help with anything because they once saw you open a computer with a screw driver.

[-]

Valdaraak@reddit

The one good thing about being IT manager is that I can (and did yesterday) say "everyone in this building should know how to turn on the projector in the conference room. Pressing a power button and plugging in one cable is not a core responsibility of IT."

[-]

Other-Opposite-6222@reddit

You have a lot of faith in your coworkers. I worked Healthcare IT and was scheduled with all OB Gyn conference room meetings. It was like I was part of the Outlook calendar reservation.

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Bladderbrain21@reddit

You still have a job? I have got to start looking around!

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Valdaraak@reddit

I work at a construction company. We can be a little more tough with language.

And my immediate C-level manager is in full agreement with me. We have more important things to do than plug in a cable and press a button for someone who can't read a posted cheat sheet.

[-]

Gadgetman_1@reddit

Posted sheet? On the wall?

Ours are stuck to the middle of the table with double-sided tape...
(In a few rooms used by our more... user-level users)

[-]

PCR12@reddit

Someone's gotta provision all those laptops and ipads they break weekly out on the job site.

[-]

Ssakaa@reddit

for someone who can't read a posted cheat sheet.

Yeah... I'll sometimes grant a "I didn't know if I was even allowed to push buttons, or mess with cables" or "I just wasn't sure which of the 37 cables to use" in some cases, but when the due dilligence of documenting that authorization as a guide on "how to" has been done, I lose all sympathy.

[-]

Bladderbrain21@reddit

Fair enough! I used to work for a carpet company and designed a whole building network for a 5 million dollar office rebuild. Got yelled at for being at the celebration of its opening. Ended up working in a literal closet for 8 months instead of being allowed to use an empty desk.

Needless to say I'm in a better place now

[-]

Adorable-Lake-8818@reddit

Glad to hear it man ;). No one needs to work in a closet. goes back to his IT closet

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Bladderbrain21@reddit

Shoot, I've got 2 closets and a cubicle with windows now. I'm the IT man now

[-]

erock279@reddit

Really? I thought if something exists anywhere near a computer or wall outlet it’s my job to fix it?

[-]

ChrisZJ97@reddit

Our owner asked me to go down and help him fix the our heater because the building warming up, I assume because it had a digital screen on it. and told me "this is why you need to investigate if things aren't work. I told him I've never done HVAC in my life then proceeded to help him fix it.

[-]

akastormseeker@reddit

But... They're not wrong...

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Superb_Raccoon@reddit

gif

He knows how to use a screwdriver!

[-]

mouse6502@reddit

"Yay! Jerry got it open!" -seinfelds mom after he unlatches and opens the cover

[-]

zakabog@reddit

He knows how to use a screwdriver!

You joke but I asked my wife to get me a Phillips head screwdriver and she was going through my toolbox and told me she sees a Stanley, an Ace,.a Craftsman, but no Phillips...

[-]

Kwantem@reddit

Phillips is the crossy pointed one, correct?

[-]

timbotheny26@reddit

Yes, and a flathead has...well...a flat head.

[-]

Superb_Raccoon@reddit

Mine would bring me OJ and Vodka...

[-]

reaver102@reddit

I see why you married her.

[-]

Awlson@reddit

In that instance, it would be more helpful...

[-]

Avaunt_@reddit

One of the service desk teams I managed would continually get incidents for things like "One of the urinals has toilet paper in it!"

I'd tell my team to call facilities to let them know and close the INC with notes they had done that. Who knows.

[-]

kirksan@reddit

I always accepted my fate and made sure Facilities reported to me along with IT. I’d then have the help desk take calls for everything, including broken bathroom locks. People are going to call the help desk anyway, may as well make it easy for them. I’d have folks dedicated to facilities, but sometimes junior IT would respond to facilities requests if they were comfortable with it. Hell, I’d respond too if I could particularly if the coffee machine is broken. A broken coffee machine is a P1 all hands on deck emergency in my book.

[-]

Mariale_Pulseway@reddit

gif

im trying my best to find an answer to his train of thought

[-]

Specialist_Ad_712@reddit

Had a VPs secretary call us to come assemble his new office chair. My first reaction was like what!!? She said oh you will help with this. Said nope, went back to my desk to do actual work. Mean mugged the secretary every time I walked by her desk.

[-]

Basic_Chemistry_900@reddit

The amount of shit that our executive assistant asks of the IT team is too damn high.

Last July 4 I got a text from her saying that our CEO was kayaking and dropped his work phone in the river and asking "what can we do?"

I called her and said I can't do anything for a person who dropped their phone in a river. She asked if the CEO was willing to meet us halfway at a rest stop (he was up north 3 hours away) if somebody could pick up a spare phone from the office and drive it up. I told her no. Fucking ridiculous.

[-]

Specialist_Ad_712@reddit

Wow. My first response would've been, "You know what this is? Not my problem". Or if I wasn't on-call the phone would not have been answered until after the holiday.

[-]

Basic_Chemistry_900@reddit

Got a ticket a few years ago (we have a fancy coffee machine that automatically grinds beans and brews):

"Coffee machine blonde roast not working"

My response was something like: "Please contact facilities. Not an IT issue"

[-]

Bladderbrain21@reddit

The toilet paper is too sandpaperish, and 5 women brought this to my attention.

"While i sympathize with your plight, you need to speak to "blah blah," she handles cleaning and sanitation supplies.

"Yeah, but don't you do that stuff?"

"No, i fix computers, hings that go beep boop, yeah, those things."

Still got blamed.

[-]

Xzenor@reddit

"mf from IT refuses to do his work again"....

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hillbilly_ganjier@reddit

I thought you were gonna say you wanted to turn in a ticket for you to fix it!

[-]

Chuffed_Canadian@reddit

You laugh but I actually enjoy replacing the soap in the soap dispensers! At least it gets me away from the monitor for a few minutes.

[-]

MidnightAdmin@reddit

I am the staff photographer at work, every month I schedule a 2 hour photo session in our studio, I rig it for photography (normally setup for video), and wait for everyone how have have emailed to come by and get their picture taken.

It gives me a chance to make sure the satudio computers are updated and interact with the users outside of a computer context.

It is a nice way to relax.

I don't have to edit the photos, Marketing takes care of that, I just take the photos and upload them to Marketing.

[-]

WelcomingRapier@reddit

Same. Cleaning and restocking the restroom is a short time to shut the brain down. As long as I'm not cleaning someones projectile shit off the wall, I've never minded much.

[-]

joeypants05@reddit

Hey hillbilly_ganjier, whaaats happenings?

You know since IT is already here it would be great if you could take care of that bathroom door lock problem we’re having here.

(Start to ask about a ticket…)

For now, why don’t you get a flashlight and a some tools and –

(Exec goes upstairs and turns off switch thinking it’s a light but actually was emergency power off to data center.)

[-]

BemusedBengal@reddit

That ith the latht thraw

[-]

Redemptions@reddit

You think a VP is going to put in a ticket over a drive-by?

[-]

tdhuck@reddit

The VP....no, but their assistant should.

[-]

benderunit9000@reddit

amen to that

[-]

arvidsem@reddit

Believe it or not I did get a 7 am call on Monday to fix the back door lock at the office.

The survey crew guys somehow broke the actual spring loaded latch part of the lock. And once I got it apart, the spindle (the twisty bit that goes through the middle) was almost broken in two. I don't even know how you would cause that kind of savage without beating up the outside

[-]

hillbilly_ganjier@reddit

This really could have been your job to ramrod if it had been an access control lock… with wires going to a server and all…

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PatReady@reddit

This is what i thought too! But the door is electronic...

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Zealousideal_Bass484@reddit

He meant, who can fix it? Like call someone.

[-]

Soulinx@reddit

At my last company I got a ticket from a woman who said, "the women's restroom smells."

[-]

lynxss1@reddit

I can see it. Building where some of my coworkers offices are has a main entrance and a restaurant and conference rooms etc on the 2nd floor and a parking lot entrance almost nobody uses on the 1st. A lot of people get lost looking for offices on 1 while searching on 2 lol.

[-]

BobWhite783@reddit

My Chair not going up or down,

The coffee machine is not working.

The carpets are dirty. Just to mention a few. 🤷‍♂️

[-]

McGuirk808@reddit

Joke's on you, it's an IP capable coffee machine and it's actually a firewall issue.

[-]

CuppieWanKenobi@reddit

We actually have one of those in the lunchroom. Shit you not.

[-]

McGuirk808@reddit

IoT newfangly IP-capable or "You can log into it with SSH" IP-capable?

[-]

CuppieWanKenobi@reddit

IoT. You can order supplies from its touchscreen.

[-]

McGuirk808@reddit

Well that's just a lot less fun and scriptable.

[-]

SuDragon2k3@reddit

And the eternal question, will it run Doom?

[-]

Clean-Machine2012@reddit

DNS. It's always DNS

[-]

___Brains@reddit

HTTP 418: I'm a teapot

[-]

Otto-Korrect@reddit

/?height=short&width=stout&handle. location=here&spout.location=here

[-]

BobWhite783@reddit

Yes, and it was running Linux.

[-]

ganaraska@reddit

Today it was, the postman is at the door and wants something

[-]

QPC414@reddit

To be fair, having the coffee machine not working IS a bonnified emergency.

[-]

CharcoalGreyWolf@reddit

Boner fide

[-]

BioHazard357@reddit

Bona fide

[-]

CharcoalGreyWolf@reddit

I know, the humor was intended

[-]

sybrwookie@reddit

He's a suitor!

[-]

ScriptMonkey78@reddit

Pretty sure that creates a hostile work environment.

[-]

Inigomntoya@reddit

We have a coffee machine?!

Wait! We have an entire ROOM dedicated to BREAKS?!

[-]

dclarkwork@reddit

No breaks! You're expected to work, not laze about on company time!

[-]

YeOldeWizardSleeve@reddit

Reminds me of Futurama "I knew you had other crews but I didn't know you had a first"

[-]

lowNegativeEmotion@reddit

The long tradition of lock picking has produced this.

[-]

SPMrFantastic@reddit

I thought this was gonna be a server room in the bathroom situation 😆

[-]

Fantastic_Estate_303@reddit

Order me a pizza and I'll go fix it....

This is how we dealt with none IT issues being raised with us. Free lunches are always appreciated.....

[-]

mxpx77@reddit

User: my hot plate just broke Me: calls facilities Facilities: confiscates hot plate

[-]

ShelterMan21@reddit

They probably shouldn't have had the hot plate to begin with.

[-]

mxpx77@reddit

Yeah definitely not. Facilities was very irritated. 😂

[-]

Large-Fig5187@reddit

I got a ticket to replace a clock. Regular dial-on-the-wall battery clock. Pretty cool like y’all said - got me out of the cave. Haven’t set a clock manually in quite some time.

[-]

Apprehensive_Bat_980@reddit

Response “Hold the door shut with your hand when sh*ting and hope no one comes barging in”.

[-]

Cru_Jones86@reddit

One of my users put a ticket in for a clogged sink. Uhh. Yeah, that's not really my job.

[-]

verbzero@reddit

Had a sales guy around the corner from my office ask if the Internet was out, which my reply was no... Then he said okay I'll go back to my office and call you for you to help me. I literally told him that would be pointless since there could be many reason his computer isn't getting internet. Ended up being the cat5 cable coming from his VOIP phone...

[-]

char747@reddit

gif

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6-mana-6-6-trampler@reddit

Gentlemen: There's a solution here you're not seeing.

[-]

Murky-Breadfruit-671@reddit

"ah the IT folks have deductive reasoning...they can figure anything out"

that's my experience anyway

[-]

Justgetmeabeer@reddit

"Hmmm who in the company can I go to whom I know is actually good at having a brain"

[-]

teksean@reddit

It's worse with you have scientists. They become so specific in knowledge the gaps really are wide when they hit other subjects and common sense takes a beating.

[-]

Nonaveragemonkey@reddit

There's AC noise in my office. There's a busted pipe in this hallway . This door won't close when it rains.

Well my fucks are gone and they all suck..

[-]

SuperSeeks@reddit

I changed a door bell last week! Unfortunately they did not submit a ticket.

[-]

candleinyourwind@reddit

I joke that VP is actually just code for “CXO’s secretary” but actually it seems sysadmin is now code for “maintenance”? Damn.

[-]

goatsinhats@reddit

Businesses don’t understand why staff want to work from home

[-]

GiddsG@reddit

Now imagine being asked all stalls are full, on whos lap can I poop ?

[-]

CompWizrd@reddit

IT was responsible for toilet replacements at $PreviousJob

[-]

legendov@reddit

"other doodies as required"

[-]

ignescentOne@reddit

Honestly, I think this is just another example of how badly most everyday people troubleshoot. They legit don't know how to reason through 'there is a problem, what are potential solutions' and so they ask the person who /does/ have that skill (hopefully, anyway), ie the sysadmin.

[-]

CharcoalGreyWolf@reddit

Or because they’re lazy and don’t want to be bothered finding who, so just SQL dump random problems of all kinds on the tech department.

[-]

SharpDressedBeard@reddit

...I did fix our bathroom door last week.

[-]

KilzonHodl@reddit

Lemme guess, servers in the bathroom?

[-]

theknyte@reddit

I've had to creatively find ways into closets, offices, and network racks without the required keys.

Kind of figured, locksmithing is part of the job.

[-]

BobWhite783@reddit

Oh, I forgot, last week an AE sent a ticket to the helpdesk because she was locked out of the hospital 3K miles away from the office.

My poor aunt, GRHS, used to say, "Cute is not everything."

[-]

IdioticEarnestness@reddit

"We have a 1st floor?"

Translation: "But I want you to fix this bathroom door, even though I know damn well it's not IT's job to fix bathroom door locks, and this was the best response I could think of on the fly to your suggestion I don't want to take."

[-]

coalsack@reddit

If you are interfacing with users, you’re not a sysadmin, you are help desk.

[-]

lesusisjord@reddit

My ego doesn’t care about the title, just the paycheck.

[-]

sitesurfer253@reddit

If you are applying stringent roles and responsibilities to a job title that is almost intentionally vague, you are not a sysadmin.

[-]

yourenotkemosabe@reddit

I too would like to live in fantasy land

[-]

Aggressive_Ad_5454@reddit

You know, there may be an opportunity for our trade here.

Old-timey mills (water-powered by the waterfalls in places like Lowell, Mass) were ultra high tech for their days. They had highly valuable employees called "shopwrights" or "millwrights". These were the people responsible for keeping everything working, machines, material handling, building maintenance, all of it. They had mad skills at carpentry, metalworking, machine shop work, vehicle maintenance, everything.

As our IT equipment shrinks in size and becomes more ubiquitous, maybe we should start taking on the rest of the shopwright job description. "We run the best places to work there are."

[-]

bobs143@reddit

VP submits ticket "Please bring the 1st floor bathroom to me in an email. I hate walking"

[-]

nikon8user@reddit

I had one reported there was poo in their cube.

Turns out someone brought their dog to work over the weekend.

[-]

Different-Hyena-8724@reddit

My MIL does this with everything. I had to stop picking up the phone.

[-]

CeC-P@reddit

But did you fix it tho?