How to deal with an American colleague that keep speaking over me?

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UnfairHoneydew6690@reddit

I’m confused, you say he’s American but then said he’s not from the US.

My family does this, but my Hub's family does not. I only really noticed the severity of it when we were all on a cruise last year together, and my mom and our very close family friend and I were all doing our weird amorphous overspeaking style of conversation with my husband jumping in and out of it, and his parents just sitting there agog not understanding how to jump into the conversation.

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Conscious-Magazine50@reddit

I'd have to get divorced. I could not. You are a better woman than I, lol.

It is always seen as rude and domineering, especially in a workplace setting.

If someone has made known it bothers them, then it's not something that is simply ingrained and the person is unaware of. OP made them aware of it; the person just does not care to change.

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GothWitchOfBrooklyn@reddit

It's not always seen as rude.. google collaborative overlapping. It is common in NYC

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overlookingthesee@reddit

I agree they should adjust when asked but there are over 300 million people in this country and they don’t all talk like midwesterners

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FivebyFive@reddit

In a professional setting?

Interrupting is often a sign they have ADHD or they could be using it as a tactic. Either way, you're allowed to push back. If you find out they're ADHD, do it nicely (because this may be them even trying to not interrupt and you just tend to say things that interest them more than the others) and if it's just him being a bully, you don't have to worry about doing it nicely, just professionally.

And "can I finish my point first" or however you worded it is perfectly professional.

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Schnelt0r@reddit

I'm American and Americans are terrible at this. It may be rude, but sometimes you just have to say, "Let me finish, please."

And if they continue to do it, become more and more direct.

I've never had to get to the, "Listen here, asshole..." level 😂

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Coro-NO-Ra@reddit

it's a problem with that person. Not a cultural thing.

I also noticed this from OP:

How to deal with an American colleague

Dick and I are not originally from the US

It doesn't happen all the time. It depends on the type of meeting. If you're talking over your coworkers while they are presenting you're being rude and unprofessional.

Just keep talking until you are finished

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Anonmouse119@reddit

Don’t ask if you can finish making your point. Just do.

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vingtsun_guy@reddit

You have the option to talk to him privately. But based upon what you're describing, I imagine that this is not necessarily something that he's doing consciously.

However you slice it, what he is doing is rude. And if he doesn't respond to a private request for mindfulness, you may have to find ways to call him out on it during the conversations - such as telling him you weren't finished with your thought, or bringing the conversation back to another colleague that he interrupts and encourage them to finish their thought.

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sneezhousing@reddit

Dick, can I just finish my point", which feels aggressive to me.

It's not.

Do that and do it loudly and firmly

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InevitableRhubarb232@reddit

Op is not female. Women think that men are more likely to ovespeak them, but really they do it to everyone - women are just less likely to stop them.

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HeddaLeeming@reddit

That's not true. I have sat in a meeting with a bunch of coworkers and my boss and he interrupts the women AND gets pissed if they call him on it. He doesn't interrupt the men near as much.

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InevitableRhubarb232@reddit

So your single anecdote overrides statistical averages?

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Teahouse_Fox@reddit

I'm sure it doesn't. I can say that as a female tech in a meeting, another tech broke in and over rode what I was saying.

I normally don't, but I immediately clapped back loudly with, "Excuse me, I'm so sorry to interrupt your interruption, but as I was saying ..." And went on with my sentence. I have a big voice and I am not afraid to use it.

It happens that I'm in a line of work where women are a very slim minority. On the floor where my office is, I effectively have a private bathroom because no other women are on this floor.

So statistically, yes - men will dominate a conversation here, often by drowning you out. You adjust and push back, or your more aggressively interactive colleagues will run you over. So I find women in my line of work grow thicker skins for that kinda thing. I used to wait for a break in conversation, but " break" now means the other person had to pause to inhale.

And cultural feedback is hard to break. If you aren't raised with the belief that you could graduate out of pigtails, to eventually be the President, children of both genders quickly pick up on these subtle clues, and at a very early age. I've heard "You can't be president! You're a girl!" on more than a few occasions, and it's a belief that persists today. It took Scouting USA until this decade to unclench and allow girls as regular scouts, and not just explorers/venture scouts.

So women are still less likely to be in IT, and other related fields, which is why so many STEM programs focus on girls and young women. Unless something is done to break that cycle, it continues. Same with the inclination to not advocate for yourself, and the expectation that you are more likely to roll over in a professional conversation.

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InevitableRhubarb232@reddit

I agree. Though I think that Girl Scouts should have stepped up and offered a program that girls wanted instead of demanding that Boy Scouts takes girls. My brothers got to do all the cool stuff. But.. I think the majority of that was caused because moms led the girl (and cub) scouts but dads led the Boy Scouts. There are more moms now who can teach whittling and camping than in the 70s or 80s but overall still probably more dads are into it overall (and available to disappear for a weekend camping w the scouts in a way a lot of moms can’t.)

I absolutely believe that saying “it’s ok you can play w the doctor kit even though it’s blue” is the same as saying it’s unnatural for girls to be doctors.

I also think that men are far more likely to ask for a raise or to counter an offer. But men and women are rather equally likely to get it if they ask. So women find out their male counterparts are making more. But they waited around to be rewarded for their work, while the guy went to the boss and said “look at my good work, I want a raise.”

So yeah it’s complicated. Also, like so many things, statistics are cherry picked and selectively applied to create the narrative that is wanted by whoever is making the point. You can statistically prove and disprove gender wage gaps depending on how you interpret and present the data.

I also do believe there is some natural aspect to what certain people are drawn to for interest and careers. It makes biological sense that men and women might have slightly different brain predisposition. For example men can identify object movement significantly faster than women can. But women have better peripheral vision.

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anneofgraygardens@reddit

Agreed, this is not aggressive at all.

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PatientOutcome6634@reddit (OP)

To be fair, no one else is pushing back - so it's aggressive in comparison to the others. Which is why I posted the question here. No one is pushing back on Dick which makes me wonder if it's maybe a "me" problem.

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that-Sarah-girl@reddit

Hi I'm a person who interrupts a lot. It's a majorl part of how my family talks to each other, so I have trouble remembering that that's not normal.

It's totally okay to tell me I'm interrupting. Please tell me! I don't want to be a dick to people. I just don't even realize I'm interrupting.

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dontforgettowriteme@reddit

It doesn't sound like a "you" problem at all. If someone is interrupting you, that's a them problem that becomes your problem. Interrupting is not okay.

People not speaking out isn't always indicative that they're okay with the situation as is, but like you, may struggle with how best to handle it, so they stay silent. Or they're non-confrontational.

I bet if you start standing up for yourself, people will start reaching out and thanking you lol. It's happened to me. It sucks they don't back you up publicly but it's proof you're not crazy.

As for how to handle it, you can either be direct (I wasn't finished, I'm still speaking, keep talking even as he talks so it's awkward) or make it a joke (sounds like Dick has a lot to say today, Dick stop stealing my comments/stop reading my mind!). Shame him. lol And, honestly? Either way you handle it, some people who are habitual interruptors seem impervious to your response, so you could probably get away with being direct without offending him. But he's being offensive. It's not offensive to call him on it, even if it's difficult. Remember that.

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anneofgraygardens@reddit

If it were me, I'd just be like "hey, hang on a second, let me finish my thought". Just be chill and don't make a big deal of it, but you don't need to put up with someone talking over you.

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GatorOnTheLawn@reddit

It’s not aggressive enough, frankly. “EXCUSE ME, Dick, but I was speaking!”

confusedrabbit247@reddit

Dick, can I just finish my point",

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midoriringo@reddit

Pull the dick to the side privately and say that you notice he cuts you off or interrupts you often and that you don’t appreciate it. From then on, loudly and firmly say “I haven’t finished my point yet” etc.

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SnooPies5378@reddit

just say dick hold on, hold on a sec, etc. Keep doing it, everytime he interrupts.

If he doesn't get the message, talk to a supervisor.

Dick is being rude. That’s not normal business etiquette. Every time he interrupts, you need to politely cut him off.

“Dick, let me finish my thought.”

“Hold on Dick, I wasn’t done.”

“Dick, I’d like to finish what I was saying.”

“One moment Dick, I want to wrap this up.”

(Or you can ignore him and continue speaking)

Notice how I used his name so it kind of snaps him out of it. He may have bad manners. Interrupting is also common with adhd. Either way it’s rude. Document the dates, times and meetings he interrupts you. If it’s bad enough use that documentation to speak w a superior about it.

Maybe post in workplace or HR subs.

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Bluewaffleamigo@reddit

Dude isn't American, punch him in the dick, i dunno.

The fact that you can't use subreddits properly indicates to me that maybe Dick is in the right, and you're just spouting nonsense.

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Confarnit@reddit

People are giving you WILDLY aggressive advice. Be nice, say something like "Hey, can you hold that thought for a second? I just want to wrap up what I was saying." You can also use nonverbal cues like holding up a finger and also saying "ooh, wait though" or "totally! Let me just finish..." and then jumping back in to finish your thought without directly addressing his behavior. Interrupt the interrupter!

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CaptainPunisher@reddit

I have a friend who does this to me pretty often. You definitely reserve the right to ask him to let you finish, but what I like doing even better is to simply keep talking through his interruption until he quiets down. It really confuses him when I don't allow him to interrupt and just proceed to talk through him. I don't think he intends to cut me off, but it's a common habit. If you have to get louder, get louder.

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BigMacRedneck@reddit

Dick has realized you are a moron.

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ryguymcsly@reddit

Talk to him.

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StarSpangleBRangel@reddit

…I’m not the one asking to be walked through something pretty basic.

Good luck out there.

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Conchobair@reddit

Fellow, humans, how do I (also a human) interact with my fellow humans?

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mprhusker@reddit

Seriously. In my small London office the people who won't shut the fuck up are the Italian, the Norwegian, the Greek, and two of the Brits.

Meanwhile there's me, the sole American, having to field the "hey /u/mprhusker how come all Americans are so loud?" type questions all the fucking time.

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janesmex@reddit

Even Norwegians, huh?

We tend to be talkative, but its considered polite here to don’t speak over other people, especially in workplaces, so I don’t think it’s common to interrupt and act as op described.

I get how you feel btw.

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PatientOutcome6634@reddit (OP)

To be fair, if everyone is doing it - I'm ok with it. When in Rome...

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sadthrow104@reddit

Surprised about the Norwegian. Thought people from that part of the world are generally very quiet.

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MrLongWalk@reddit

When I worked with Brits they’d cut me off all the time

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CupBeEmpty@reddit

Oh absolutely especially in casual conversation like at the pub. It honestly reminded me a lot of my own family.

This would be considered rude in the USA. However, they aren't from the USA original, so maybe it is a cultural norm from their country of origin?

I would just talk to them about it.

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Real-Psychology-4261@reddit

“Excuse me, I’m speaking.”

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I have a friend who handles these situations quite well. When he is interrupted, he loudly says "oh, excuse me, I did not mean to interrupt. Please tell me when you are finished so I am not rude."

Usually takes no more than 2 applications of this to correct the behavior. I've seen it work on colleagues and bosses.

Best part is since you start by apologizing, it's obviously not you being a dick

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kmikek@reddit

Symptom of ADHD. Autistic spectrum. He got excited about the topic

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TreyRyan3@reddit

Use the misdirection approach. Make it sound like you are about to discuss one topic, let him interrupt and then immediately say “Thank you but what I was planning to discuss was XYZ, so in the future it might be more helpful if you hold your input until we are actually on that topic.”

It is considered rude in the US as well.

This is rude no matter what, no accepted culture

It's possible Dick has problems interacting socially and there might be reasons for it, but it still doesn't make it OK

It's also possible Dick is a dick and looks down on you since you get it worse than other people

One technique for dealing with people like this is to start from scratch every time you get interrupted, even if it means repeating the same half sentence over and over, until the point finally drills through their skull

If there's a moderator or chair for meetings involved, talk to them and ask for support

Habitual interruptors drive me up a wall, I completely empathize, it's very condescending and domineering of them

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ATLDeepCreeker@reddit

Dick is an AH. Dick is attempting to establish some sort of pecking order where he gets to speak over everyone.

miparasito@reddit

Are you a woman?
Is he interrupting with ideas that add onto what you are saying? Or rolling over in a way that stops the flow of ideas?
What would happen if someone interrupted HIM?
Will he ever circle back to you or is he just grabbing the imaginary microphone and not giving it back?

There are different kinds of interruptions. Sometimes it is actually collaborative, where ideas are flowing and everyone feels comfortable jumping in. This can still ruffle some people, but it’s possible to work together to find compromise. A collaborative interrupter doesn’t mind if you do the same to him because it’s part of the flow, and your ideas are valid too. He will also loop back and say I’m sorry, I got excited, what were you saying?

Then there’s destructive interruption, which is where one person just wants to talk more regardless of value and content. This involves talking over someone with unrelated thoughts or in a way that diminishes the other person’s contribution. In those cases, your statements aren’t being treated as a spring board. He sees you as a road block to barrel through. He won’t ever circle back and say “I’m sorry, back to your point…” because he doesn’t even remember that your words happened. If this person is interrupted though they won’t allow it — they will talk louder and push through and/or pout.

In this case, you have to be MUCH more assertive. It will feel very rude but I promise it’s not.

Instead of “May I finish my sentence, please?” You need to put your hand down on the table and look at him and firmly say “Do not interrupt me.” And then go on. No hard feelings, no drama, just asserting your right to hold space in this conversation.

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EsotericTribble@reddit

Sounds more like a Dick problem than an American colleague problem tbh. Best thing you can do is to call him out like saying "Dick, please do not cut me off anymore, that's rude." If he does it again he's being well... a Dick.

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_gooder@reddit

Call him out EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Dick, let me finish.

Dick, please take a note so we can circle back to your point.

Dick, for God's sake man, SHUT YOUR FUCKING PIE HOLE.

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devnullopinions@reddit

If it was me it’s pull the person aside one on one, tell them why what they are doing hurts the shared business goals and ask them to be more cognizant of how/when they speak.

The key things would be:

Do it privately so you’re not calling them out in front of other people.
Related the problem to work things you both mutually benefit from — “if you let others speak this meeting will be over faster”, “if you let others speak we will generate better ideas”, etc.

When Dick is talking his speakers are muted to prevent feedback. Once Dick starts talking, he litterally can’t hear others.
If OP is leaving pauses or talking slow, Dick may think he is done.

There is a word limit on the post, so I am adding it as a comment: this is not a jab at Americans, or trying to imply Americans are rude. I was just trying to describe a specific situation within a (low) word limit. I am sorry if it comes off as offensive to anyone.

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neelvk@reddit

20 years ago, I had a colleague who was super nice and helpful but had the same habit. We were a small team of 7 people and while one was the manager, he basically was one of the troops. One day, the manager brought in an ugly (and I do mean butt ugly) statue about 2 feet tall. And in every meeting (we used to all congregate in the corridor and talk), only the one holding it could talk.

By third day the super nice colleague was cured. And we also discovered that the extremely quiet colleague had some amazingly good ideas.

Later we found out that our manager learned this from his kindergarten-going son.

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Fleiger133@reddit

Are you female?

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CROBBY2@reddit

Let him crash and burn. There is a balance in most companies and this is not viewed positively.

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PatientOutcome6634@reddit (OP)

I was thinking about that option as well. I don't believe in "fixing" people by and large.

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Electric-Sheepskin@reddit

People keep saying that his interrupting is considered rude here in America, but that's not entirely true. I personally think it's rude. Most women think it's rude because it happens to them much more often, but it's a behavior that is often rewarded in corporate environments. Aggressive men who assert themselves are often seen as good leaders.

If they aren't well-liked, people will recognize it as being rude, but if they are well liked, and the person they are interrupting is not as much so, or if it's a man doing it to a woman, people tend not to notice it as much.

Sorry, I don't have any good advice about how to respond, because I never was very good at it myself, but I just wanted to let you know that not everyone will recognize it as being rude, so be careful how you approach it.

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HurtsCauseItMatters@reddit

So, this very well may be a case of simply someone not giving af but just for another perspective, I've struggled this a LOT throughout my life. It literally nearly cost me a marriage.

My brain straight up doesn't allow me to wait. And if I have to hold on to my thought, I am incapable of listening to you. All I can do is focus on my thought and not forgetting it and that it needs to be said.

Why? Undiagnosed ADHD. I finally got diagnosed in my 40s and its made a world of difference. I'm finally ... finally medicated and able to carry on functioning, adult conversations. My memory has improved ... etc.

So it may very well be him being a dick but it may also be that he's incapable and he may not be self-aware enough to realize he's doing it much less that its a thing that needs to be addressed. I'm ADHD-Inattentive and that seems to be where this specific symptom falls but lots of other folks with adhd have bits and pieces from both types.

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HurtsCauseItMatters@reddit

Also, i'm not sure what this has to do with being American or not ....

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PatientOutcome6634@reddit (OP)

Him being American is just trying to describe the situation - this is an American office, and this is also why I came to /AskAnAmerican. I was working in France, I would go to /AskAFrench.
As for the ADHD angle, I don't know. My counter argument would be that it's ok to make mistakes, like cutting someone mid sentence, but one should know this is wrong and apologize for it afterwards - and the lack of that accountability is part of the issue.
Regardless, I'm glad you're doing better, and that your marriage survived. Going undiagnosed for so long is tough.

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ApprehensivePie1195@reddit

Take him to the side and say something like ppl are complaining about how he is acting,explaining, and you wanting to let him know. You can play it as your trying to watch out for him as a friend. If you don't mind confrontation, you can add that you agree. Does it seem like he is trying to make a name for himself and move up?

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No-Ganache4851@reddit

It’s not unique to Americans.

I have a British colleague who does this to everyone. I’ve started beginning sentences with “as I was saying” after I’m interrupted.

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GOTaSMALL1@reddit

Dick might just lack social awareness or self control and not realizing he's doing it... or Dick might be a Dick.

With what I do I don't run into people "at my level" really but people above and below me do this.

YMMV... but what I do is escalate my reaction over time. I'm not so worried about being too aggressive. Starting off with something slightly passive aggressive, "Okay thanks. Anyway... as I was saying before Dick interrupted me." to your "Dick... can I finish?" up to... "I swear Dick. You interrupt me one more time and I'm getting the talking pillow (or muting you, or whatever)."

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PatientOutcome6634@reddit (OP)

I was thinking on starting to use humor as a way to gently escalate, like "Dick, my dude, we spoke about not cutting off people just a day ago"

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Hefty-Squirrel-6800@reddit

Talk back over the person even louder, and do not stop until you finish your sentence. If he gets angry, tell him to quit talking over you if he wants you to stop being so loud.

Another approach is to meet with Dick and tell him what he is doing and the next time that he does it, you are going to embarrass him. It needs to stop now.

The being "nice" could just be a cover for covert narcissistic personality disorder. Talking over someone is a hallmark tactic.

One last thing, he could be ADHD like me. When I am in a conversation, I will think of something that is important to the conversation. If I don't blurt it out right then, poof, it is gone. I used to talk over people but now I just let it go.

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Cacafuego@reddit

Talk to him politely in person first and be crystal clear that this is a problem. Let him know that when he does it again in meetings, you'll point it out to him so he notices. Then do that.

It's important to frame this with the personal conversation so that he knows you're not just trying to embarrass him or score points. You told him it was important. Hopefully he agreed he would try to curb the behavior. Now you're helping him. He knows there is no animosity, and he knows how to make it stop.

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Lootlizard@reddit

"I'm sorry Dick. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours's?"

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vbsteez@reddit

address it with dick privately. if he doesnt realize, he may be apologetic and work on it. you could be helping him from embarrassing himself in the future.

Go to your boss since he won't stop doing this. It's a way to undermine or dominate other people, even if he's not conscious of it. He might be conscious of it.

That you've said something ad he still doesn't stop, says a lot. If you go to a boss to talk about this privately, then mention you've tried to address it but your co-worker won't stop.

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shammy_dammy@reddit

He's being very rude for the US as well. Are there supervisors who see this behavior?

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spike31875@reddit

Like some other commenters, I also think OP is probably female.

It's a sad commentary that our cultural norms often read being "assertive" in women as being "aggressive." Aggression has nothing to do with sticking up for yourself & stating your opinion in a meeting. Your opinion should be respected & heard by the other participants, even if they don't agree with it.

OP: don't hesitate to assert yourself & speak your mind when and where you need to.

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strywever@reddit

“Dick, I am speaking.”

There does seem to be a trend in US society of not letting people pause for a breath or to form the next sentence. Any gap in speaking is viewed as an opportunity to interject and take the floor.

Keep pushing back. Mention it to whomever is in charge of the meeting, they should be the one who tells Dick to allow the speaker to finish.

It's worse in video conferences since everyone has the same volume and there's no feature that mutes the other participants when one person is talking.

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themistycrystal@reddit

When this happens to me, I keep right on speaking but a little louder.

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superlewis@reddit

You may have to be direct, but it also might help to speak to him in private to just let him know he’s doing it. I have a tendency to do this, but I don’t want to. My wife helps me by pointing out when I do it so I can work on getting better.

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External-Talk8838@reddit

Just keep talking at the same time as him. I’ve found that really pisses people off and they usually get the point

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Ozzimo@reddit

"Hey Dick, I understand that in America, you often jump in with comments during a conversation. When you are here, please let people finish before jumping in."

If they don't get it after that, it's their problem.

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Traditional_Deal_654@reddit

Point it out politely and repeatedly. If it continues then start interrupting him since he clearly thinks that shit is ok.

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Hypnotiqua@reddit

Personally, I like to go the power move route, but I've also worked in low-PC male-dominated fields, and sometimes in those environments you literally have to demand respect. If need be, draw a mustache on your middle finger and then hold it up (to your face) when he cuts you off and loudly and slowly say, "so-as-I-was- say-ing." Seems harsh but it fucking works.

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FunProfessional570@reddit

Keep being firm but pleasant. “Dick, I’d like to finish what I was saying before you add your thoughts”. “dick, please let me/Carol/Bob finish speaking before you jump in. I/she/they would like the opportunity to finish their thoughts before you comment.” Try and get others to do the same.

You also need to discuss this with your manager. If the manager has been present when it’s happened, use it as a specific example. “Manager - I have an issue and I’d like your input on the best way to resolve it. Dick talks over people in meetings, not letting them finish their thoughts/comments. You may have noticed in xyz meeting you attended. I have spoken up several times to ask him to please let me finish speaking, but there is no effect. He does it to others as well. How would you handle this if it happened to you? “

That puts it politely on manager to

1) rein Dick in 2) bring awareness to situation of manager is not aware 3) allows manager to set ways to handle so you cannot be called aggressive etc.

Additionally, after meeting with manager, send an email summarizing what was said and the action plan if manager gave you one or say “here’s a summary of what we talked about and I’m waiting for your response as to how to correct issue.” And then you have it in writing.

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Sufficient_Cod1948@reddit

This isn't really an "American" issue, this is a "This guy is being rude" issue.

"Dick, can I just finish my point", which feels aggressive to me.

It isn't. In fact, you could amp that up even more if you wanted. What I've done in the past is every time I get interrupted I just stop talking, and when they stop I say something like "Are you done?"

Plus_Carpenter_5579@reddit

Do not ask him if you can finish. Make him shut up.

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refused26@reddit

Ignore and just continue talking as if you didnt even hear him. If this is a meeting, dont even say "sorry". If you want to be petty say "I was saying before I got interrupted" + repeat whatever it is you were saying.

I've learned to do this in a male dominated field. If I and someone else start talking at the same time, I just continue. Initially, I used to say "sorry go ahead" but now I dont care. Especially if it's someone who never even cares to give back the floor to you after they were done interrupting.

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wind_moon_frog@reddit

So.. Dick isn’t American?
And I’m confused what being American has to do with anything here.
I think you’re in the wrong sub.

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GoddessOfOddness@reddit

Here’s how to handle it.

“I’m sorry, I was speaking and you interrupted me. Please let me know when you are ready to listen to what I have to say without interrupting.”

I do some version of this all the time. It works because it is direct, honest, and gets a response.

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getoffurhihorse@reddit

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smoothiefruit@reddit

how big are the meetings, are they in person or virtual, and is there someone meant to be leading/facilitating the meetings?

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Dawashingtonian@reddit

sounds like you’re doing the right thing. that sounds super frustrating. do t be put out by thinking you’re coming off as rude, it’s fine. if he can’t figure it out over time then you might need to talk to hr about it or something.

"That's an interesting point Dick, but the real question is..."

"I get why you'd ask that Dick, but let's not lose sight of the main point, which is..."

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stelliferous7@reddit

This isn't an American thing. I feel guilty when I start interrupting because of my ADHD so yeah here too it is frowned upon. Luckily I haven't been scolded for it yet though. Talking with two people or more is difficult.

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Sharp_Ad_9431@reddit

Ask if he forgot his adhd medication. If the response is that they don't have adhd, then ask what their reason is for being rude and interrupting you.

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Mrs_Gracie2001@reddit

Are you a woman? That’s how men treat women here.

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BottleTemple@reddit

1 on 1, Dick is nice.