30 unemployed for years, desperately wanna move
Posted by throwawaylgbtsun4@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 12 comments
Hey guys I dont know the best place to post, but i have been stuck for many many years now , i dislike where i live mostly cause of the people that badly bullied me years ago in this town, i dont want them to see me/me run into them, which may sound insane but when i do see them, they usually point, laugh and say something to whoever is next to them, the bullies did horrific things which left me with anger issues, ptsd and some, on top of that i have social anxiety, i also have my own identity issues, but that alone could be pushed back tbh, now…the painful thing is my mother is the one working and providing for us both, and she is in her 60s and fed up to put it nicely…i just …i want to push to get a job, but i fear so much, i feel safer in bed resting…
I know this isnt life, and honestly i believe i am autistic too, i just know when i studied i had to study so much just to pass many times, and it made me so tired, i am polite etc but i am socially quite awkward when it comes to eye to eye contact and something as simple as walking in public has always made me very uncomfortable, i know this is something i have to just deal with, but i am usually internally very aware, and …yeah, i just prefer being in my bubble…but i need a job, or else, i dunno but im hurting my mother, she is so so tired, the few people who know i am not working are upset at me, call me a sponge, etc…
I really want motivation, somesort of aid , can anyone here give me advice/words of wisdom? I dont know what id work in, i know i am terrible at maths, and anything like handywork, engineering, id be bad at…serving tables omg imagine if i had to serve an ex-bully, i wont be able to get any proper high end job, and them seeing me work in a supermarket etc will give them all the amo to laugh their heads off, probably video tape me too, and be like “hahaha the loser we treated as a punching bag, is working here ahaha” …i will go back to that punching bag…i.dont want this…i was suicsss when i was a teen, imagine me not only being nervous of starting a new job but of having in my mind the whole time, that i could see any of them, which i have in supermarket and im tried hiding/walking to different isles.
Additionally: I REALLLLLLLLY want a remote job, a work from home, but here it seems impossible, no one wants to hire/there arent many positions, i live in a small town in a smallish european country, i know english well enough, but that doesnt seem to matter at all. I dunno what my fate will be but, sometimes i wish i just died to not have to be wasting my life, i wasted already most of it…
Also i am lgbt
expats-ModTeam@reddit
If you are currently not an expat, and are looking for information about emigrating, you are required to ask specific questions about a specific destination or set of destinations. This means you should have already put some thought and research into where you might want—and be able—to go.
You must provide context for your questions which may be relevant. No one is an expert in your eligibility to emigrate, so it’s expected that you will have already done some research to get an idea of what countries you might be able to get a visa for.
r/iwantout may be a better sub for you to post in. Make sure you abide by their rules as well.
aadustparticle@reddit
Which is worse for you?
Forcing your elderly mother to support you will into her old age
or
Getting a job to support yourself and having to fave your social anxiety
throwawaylgbtsun4@reddit (OP)
I dread to answer….the second feels much harder, but i hate both
Ok_Perception1131@reddit
“I feel safer in bed resting”
We ALL do, but part of being an adult is supporting ourselves. Your mom won’t be around forever. What’s your plan for supporting yourself after she’s gone?
As others have pointed out, no country will want someone who has nothing to offer.
I recommend therapy.
throwawaylgbtsun4@reddit (OP)
I don’t want to do it yet, i need a job first ..i have done it before and i just dont want to confront certain stuff yet
Modullah@reddit
I’ll let you in on a secret. There are very few of us in the workforce that are not dealing with crippling anxiety, depression, burnout, adhd, addiction physical medical issues, etc. and maybe even a combination of those at the same time. The only difference is many are masking to put food on the table.
Quirky_Routine_90@reddit
Many people have completely unrealistic expectations as to what it takes to LEGALLY move to another country.
You don't get to decide I'm moving there ( pick a random country) and that's all it takes.
VISAs are real and every country makes their own laws and requirements for them.
Even the easier places REQUIRE you to be able to prove an income stream in excess of a certain amount, the hardest BISA to get would allow you to actually work in that country, as in not remotely from a foreign employer.
There is no single answer that applies everywhere for everyone.
Except that if you don't have a job, don't have significant financial resources, and don't have citizenship there already, odds are you won't get a VISA to move there.
There can be significant legal consequences of pretending the laws don't apply to you and going as a tourist and not leaving. They can involve jail time, permanent immigration blacklisting and forcibly being deported afterwards.
Despite whatever issues you have, the same rules apply to everyone.
Ive lived bi-continental for almost 4 decades.
verticalgiraffe@reddit
You are in control of your life. You can make changes to improve it. But perhaps your anxiety is holding you back?
I don’t know if there are any affordable treatment options for you but I would really suggest getting some professional help for you anxiety, especially if it is preventing you from holding employment.
I also have really bad social anxiety and I have let it hold me back. But at the end of the day it’s up to you to move forward.
I hope you find something you enjoy doing. Best of luck.
katmndoo@reddit
To be blunt, you cannot move out of your country.
You need to have some skill to offer that cannot be provided locally.
Unless you have a specialized degree that you haven’t mentioned , you don’t have that skill.
To be really really blunt, you need to get over yourself. You are not in high school. Your bullies don’t care about you and likely won’t even recognize you.
Get off your ass and get a job.
Even with the degree, you have no experience. There is no reason for a foreign employer to go to the trouble of getting you a work visa.
As for remote, you again have no experience and no skills unless you just didn’t mention some expertise.
No legitimate employer is going to hire you for a remote job of any sort. You have not proven yourself.
bangkokredpill@reddit
If your English is good, start teaching English remotely.
Sites like Cambly and others will let you get started.
There are many different types of remote jobs out there. Look on LinkedIn.
Also, you should be spending 6-8 hours a day trying to find work. The internet these days is amazing and you can definitely learn skills from your computer. If you have access to a computer at home, you can improve your life.
I'm not the most intelligent guy but I'm pretty successful. I failed many classes in school and was bullied.
Work ethic and perseverance overcomes most skill deficiencies- you need to work yourself through this.
No one will save you but yourself.
0piumfuersvolk@reddit
It's not, try r/iwantout good luck.
Waterpatat@reddit
You’re emotionally weak and the world doesn’t care about your social anxiety. If you love your mother grow a damn spine and go to work dude. Everyone gets bullied, life still has to be lived. At 30 you’re not getting much sympathy. Get off your ass and go get shit done.