Do Americans bathe? | TheaterFire

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SMSaltKing@reddit

I often find the nearest mud hole to wallow in while eating McDonald's and drinking Bud light whilst watching NASCAR.

Both water and soap scare me.

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MonsieurRuffles@reddit

I wouldn’t think that a NASCAR fan would drink woke Bud Light.

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SMSaltKing@reddit

Jokes on you, I'm so fat and ignorant I don't even check what goes down my gullet anymore.

My dream is to be the subject of a TLC show. I'm thinking "Adventure of Pig Man" but it's a working title.

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CupBeEmpty@reddit

The most trans of beers. It takes a brave man to even sip it.

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CupBeEmpty@reddit

Hey it’s mud season here in New England but the only problem is the mud is cold.

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mechanixrboring@reddit

I'm more of a Five Guys kind of guy because either have a higher paying job, but otherwise, this is pretty accurate.

If I am not slightly drunk, full of grease, and covered in shit, and had my fill of cars driving in circles when I come home, I can't call it a day.

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Not true. People are lying to you. In America most of us bathe only two times a month if we're lucky. Where can you possibly live where there is enough water to bathe everyday? It sounds like paradise, we can only dream. ...

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ARatOnATrain@reddit

We bathe daily but can't afford to waste water so we only drain the tub once a month at most.

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The_Mighty_Zsar@reddit

You have a tub??

Look at money bags over here... all I have is a McDonalds cup.

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Simply_Sloppy0013@reddit

I have a red solo cup filled with water that I collected dripping out of the exhaust of a yellow school bus. I admit I was leaning against the bus while I waited.

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Bright_Ices@reddit

How are you bathing that frequently? I’m getting maybe two baths a year, what with all my working so many hours at my job, driving my three hour commute, and getting take out for every meal.

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Educational_Scar_933@reddit

You need to buy a new house much closer to your job. Then you can work longer hours so you can make more money so you can pay the exorbitant water bill that you've backed up from showering so much. Problem solved. You're welcome.

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KennstduIngo@reddit

Specially with all the surface area most of us Americans have to clean.

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GamerGramps62@reddit

Not even close to true. I bathe daily, sometimes every other day.

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OG-BigMilky@reddit

B… a… th…e? What is this word?

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Observer_of-Reality@reddit

I take a bath once a month, whether I need it or not.

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Cerulean_IsFancyBlue@reddit

You should really run stuff through a spellchecker when you’re trying to type in English. It is spelled “breathe”, and clearly we do it quite often. I personally will often spend a full minute or more simply enjoying breathing in and out, especially after climbing a flight of stairs or attempting to open a stubborn pickle jar.

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Budget-Rub3434@reddit

It’s true. I breathe almost every day in fact. It’s becoming a bit of a habit of mine.

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ButItSaysOnline@reddit

Once a month! Every month!

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LegitimateSale987@reddit

Do we what?

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Single_Criticism9042@reddit

That’s a misconception, we do bathe, but in corn syrup and red 40, not water.

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Ananvil@reddit

Ranch dressing can substitute in a pinch

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Single_Criticism9042@reddit

Maybe in New York but here in Ohio ranch is far too valuable to waste on bathing. We use it as a currency here.

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Ananvil@reddit

In New York we throw it in the trash and use Bleu Cheese like civilized people

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CupBeEmpty@reddit

A man of culture I see. Thanks the gods for Buffalo and their greatest creation.

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rik1122@reddit

In Minnesota, it's common to bathe in Mountain Dew

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Single_Criticism9042@reddit

I’m more of a Baja blast man myself. I like to pretend I’m inside a thorium reactor.

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Ananvil@reddit

Gives that nice nuclear green glow

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AnybodySeeMyKeys@reddit

And Miller Lite if we're feeling saucy

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bryku@reddit

I haven't bath, the american way is to waste as much water as possible, so I shower for 30minutes in the morning and 30minutes in the evening.

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Eff-Bee-Exx@reddit

I take a bath every time I pay my income tax bill.

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PaleDreamer_1969@reddit

Sarcasm! American fuel for the heart. Lol Yes, I bathe a lot, especially after a busy day of hard work. I generally will shower every other day to save resources and my skin from drying out

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ChickyBaby@reddit

We wipe down a few times a year with Wet Wipes then flush them the way we dispose of all our garbage. Everyone knows that submerging your whole body in water invites illness.

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Packu_Bat@reddit

Yes . Every night . A bath or a shower , every day. Twice a day in the summer .

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Wolf_E_13@reddit

JFC

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ScatterTheReeds@reddit

In mycountry we don’t bathe because >!we wash our asses after we poop!<

!April Fools!!<

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KeithGribblesheimer@reddit

Once a week? What do you think, we're clean freaks?

After winter we bathe in the same water we washed our clothes in, and before winter.

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onlyAfan1000@reddit

Only in super heated water.

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RIPdon_sutton@reddit

I usually go down to the river once a year, the one with all the trash and contaminants and human feces and tennis balls and only GOD knows what else is floating around, and give myself a good, deep scrub. I make sure to get deep inside my ears and scrub my taint hard.

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SavannahInChicago@reddit

No. I’ve never bathed. It’s unAmetican to bathe. I want to smell like the graves of our founding fathers.

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oligarchyreps@reddit

everyone I know takes showers 1-2 times a day in the USA. At least for the last 3 generations. My grandparents took Saturday baths in the first 2 decades of 1900.

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Majestic_Electric@reddit

Yes.

This is the best April Fool’s one yet! 😂

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KJHagen@reddit

We go overseas for that. Everyone else does it SO much better.

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PickleProvider@reddit

We never bathe

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jsmeeker@reddit

No. We shower.

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somewhatbluemoose@reddit

Never

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rf8350@reddit

Only when it rains

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Randorini@reddit

I think 90% of the questions here are just people trolling to get engagement or get people worked up

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Katskit89@reddit (OP)

Americans are purposefully making ridiculous posts here today because it’s April Fool’s Day.

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Randorini@reddit

Ahhhh, I'm an idiot lol iv scrolled a few times today and seen a few crazy questions from this page

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Sassy_Weatherwax@reddit

You must be trolling.

Most people bathe daily. Of course it varies, like in any other country, but it would be unusual to bathe weekly. There have been some celebrities who have talked about not bathing, so maybe that's where you're getting this silly idea.

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Katskit89@reddit (OP)

Most definitely. People have purposefully been making ridiculous posts today in honor of April Fool’s day. It’s Americans making these posts today.

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Sassy_Weatherwax@reddit

ah ok. I was wondering what was going on.

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Katskit89@reddit (OP)

It’s hard to tell these days because we get so many ridiculous asks here.

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coysbville@reddit

I'm not familiar with this "bathe" word. If you're asking if we clean ourselves, the answer is no.

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Itchy_Pillows@reddit

We are shower ppl

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DegenerateCrocodile@reddit

Not often, no. We bathe just barely more than the French.

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ThicccPanta@reddit

Only in burger grease

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cryptoengineer@reddit

I took daily showers from when I was 12 until I was in my early 60s. Since then I cut it back to every other day, on my dermatologist's advice.

For adult Americans, showers are far more common than baths.

That said, I have an antique house, which includes a large cast iron, claw footed, free standing bath in one bathroom. Hasn't been used much since the kids reached shower age, but a couple guests have asked to use it for the sheer decadence.

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