Everybody only writes in IPA.
Posted by NLK-3@reddit | CrazyIdeas | View on Reddit | 66 comments
As in the International Phonetic Alphabet. When you see a word, you (should) know exactly how to pronounce it, though it explodes the English alphabet to what may look like 100, including Old English runes (ash, eth, thorn, wynn, etc.).
æz ɪn ði ˌɪntəˈnæʃənəl fəˈnɛtɪk ˈælfəˌbɛt. wɛn ju si ə wɝd, ju (ʃəd) noʊ ɪɡˈzæktli haʊ tə prəˈnaʊns ɪt, ðoʊ ɪt ɪkˈsploʊdz ði ˈɪŋɡlɪʃ ˈælfəˌbɛt tə wʌt meɪ lʊk laɪk ˈhʌndrəd, ɪnˈkludɪŋ oʊld ˈɪŋɡlɪʃ runz (æʃ, ɛθ, θɔrn, wɪn, ˈɛtˌsɛtɪkʌ).
PavleMash@reddit
So this is a premise to how serbian works. In Serbian there are 30 letters with distinct soundings that dont vary, as in they always sound the one specific way. So by hearing something yoh are able to write it down and by reading something you are always able to sound it out
NLK-3@reddit (OP)
I knew there had to be a language that does that. I think Spanish does as well, but I failed Spanish 2 thrice.
SnooOnions4763@reddit
Doesn't work. Every dialect would be written slightly different, with possibly even some variation from person to person. It would make the language almost unreadable.
mihibo5@reddit
My native language writes close to phonetically. Every dialect indeed writes words differently, but that really isn't an issue. If you can't understand it written, you wouldn't understand it being said.
SnooOnions4763@reddit
What language is that?
mihibo5@reddit
Slovenian
Coltand@reddit
We can hear a different dialect and understand just fine, why couldn't we do the same reading it?
HengeDenge@reddit
Imagine being able to read an accent!
zbignew@reddit
I cannae
VoltFiend@reddit
It would make reading orders of magnitude harder. The written word would no longer have specific meaning and would just be a stamd-in for the person's specific speech pattern. Then you would have to basically translate their written word into their speech, and then to you your speech, instead of just reading it and that arrangement of letters having an explicit meaning. Also dictionaries would be a nightmare, you would need to have dictionaries for each accent and dialect, and they would have to be kept up to date as they change over time, which would be more radically changed than dictionaries already are, and words might have multiple spellings within an accent as there will be some variation within each accent. Not to mention differences for people with speech disabilities that affect their pronounciation. It would all just be a mess, and sure, you would know how to pronounce what you're reading, but you might not be able to understand what it means if you aren't familiar enough with that accent or dialect.
ricmo@reddit
It would be written Telephone lol
Phosphorjr@reddit
look up the C6V3 phonetic alphabet by LΛMPLIGHT
No_Lavishness_3206@reddit
Booooooooooo
I thought we were going to write in beer.
ColonelAverage@reddit
I was thinking of another alcohol
Snackatomi_Plaza@reddit
How do you say "You sound bitter" in IPA?
XGamingPigYT@reddit
"you sound IPA"
NLK-3@reddit (OP)
jˈuː sˈa͡ʊnd bˈɪtə
I actually pronounce "er" in most words, not a rhotic speaker compared to others. I think "er" is usually written as "3".
Joabyjojo@reddit
You must be 100+ IBUs
RenegadeAccolade@reddit
“glug glug glug… burb”
Cynical_Tripster@reddit
When I drink loads of India pale ale, IPA lot.
PM_Your_Wiener_Dog@reddit
I only text in IPA. Last Saturday I learned my ex & her new boyfriend were doing great, she's very excited Charles can actually make her "cum like a epileptic."
kaleb2959@reddit
Great. So whose pronunciation is used as the standard? My IPA looks very different from an Aussie's IPA.
NLK-3@reddit (OP)
I tried to use a couple different IPA translation links, I just chose the one that don't have the ' as much. But it may also vary from culture to culture.
kaleb2959@reddit
It absolutely looks different from culture to culture. Or even from neighborhood to neighborhood in extreme cases. Our hearing can adapt to different accents because the overall pronunciation patterns are alike and the differing sounds tend to remain in close proximity within the mouth. But in written text, even IPA, you lose that. Two different pronunciations that sound similar to an English-speaker's ear can have very different IPA spellings, to the point of being unreadable.
rfgk@reddit
You might be interested in the Shavian alphabet which is similar to IPA but with simpler characters.
NLK-3@reddit (OP)
Looking it up, it's interesting that it flips the letter based on vocal and non-vocal pronunciations.
M_P_3rd@reddit
How is etc. ˈɛtˌsɛtɪkʌ? You pronounce et cetera as et cetika?
NLK-3@reddit (OP)
I think the "k" represent some kind of R pronunciation. Most languages don't have an English R, most trill or roll their R instead. Most IPA isn't based on English pronunciation. It's like how J represents the "English Y sound" since Latin originally made it that way before English changed it. Same with why some U are written like V, thus "double U" = two V = W. I think it was written that way even in the US Constitution if I remember correctly.
diamondpolish_@reddit
Looks similar to dutch language
SnooOnions4763@reddit
Nou ja jongen. Nederlands lijkt toch helemaal niet op het internationale fonetisch alfabet.
diamondpolish_@reddit
But you can understand about 40% when you speak English so dutch is close enough
dr_wtf@reddit
ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
AliasMcFakenames@reddit
Going by Lovecraft’s general rules: wouldn’t this not be possible to put into IPA? I feel like that’d be a thing if H.P.’s constitution had been too delicate for linguistics instead of math.
saturnian_catboy@reddit
It wouldn't, because there isn't a correct, canon version on how to pronounce it
AdeleHare@reddit
I hope you’re enjoying your intro to linguistics class lol. Keep it up, it’s a great field, I’m about to get my degree in it next month!
NLK-3@reddit (OP)
More a minor hobby, but still interesting. Makes sense now why J is after I and why we have u/V/W in order as well.
JohnnyRelentless@reddit
TIL There's an English alphabet.
Ateist@reddit
Care to write some Shakespearean lyrics in IPA?
Start with
in Original Pronunciation.
NLK-3@reddit (OP)
I used these sites to translate to IPA
boodleboodle@reddit
Here’s one more good one: https://hamanlp.org
General_Katydid_512@reddit
What do you mean the differences don’t mean much?
NLK-3@reddit (OP)
Seems I'm wrong when I checked again, but I thought when I used both sites, one used thorn (Þ) and the other used eth (Ð) for the word "the". This time, both used eth, neither used thorn. Typed a bunch of "th" words and neither site used thorn. When I typed the words "teeth" and "teethe," they used a θ (theta) instead of a thorn.
General_Katydid_512@reddit
Theta is unvoiced and thorn is voiced
loafers_glory@reddit
That thesis doesn't make a difference between the words that and thesis.
TheMoon01@reddit
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DoIKnowYouHuman@reddit
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backfire10z@reddit
I read this much faster than OP’s headache of a line.
ncocca@reddit
Man this a slog to get through
Initial-Kangaroo-534@reddit
You’re way better off picking a language people already know and scaling that up.
English is the obvious choice—it dominates the internet, global business, and international science. It’s also the most widely spoken overall when you count second-language speakers (1.5B+). That matters more than native speakers if the goal is global communication.
Mandarin’s close in total numbers (~1.1B), but most of those speakers are in one country. It’s not as global in reach or use cases.
You don’t need to reinvent the wheel. Just standardize what’s already halfway there.
NLK-3@reddit (OP)
As dumb as this idea was I made years ago, I tried to imagine letter combinations for every single English sound pronunciation. Just an idea, this shit is old:
A = Bat
AA = Mock
AE = Bait; Make
AAIE = fight
E = Pet
I = Bit
IE = Need
O = Bore
OE = Go
OO = Book
U = Run
UE = Tool
RR = Learn
B = B (Bake)
C = Ch (Charm > Carm)
D = D (Double)
F = F (no PH; Fone)
G = G (no J,e/i/y; Get)
H = H (Hat)
K = K (Kar)
L = L (Land)
M = M (Mat)
N = N (Night > Naaiet)
P = P (Plant)
Q = Zh (Pleasure > Pleaqure)
R = R (Wreck > Rek)
S = S (Soup > Suep)
T = T (Turn > Trrn)
V = V (Van)
W = W (Waste/Waist = waest)
X = Sh (Shoe = Xue)
Y = Y (Yellow > Yeloe)
Z = Z (Zoom > Zuem)
walkabout16@reddit
No thanks! I’m sticking with my Esperanto.
Physical_Floor_8006@reddit
Yes, but people would end up spelling the same words differently.
eulerolagrange@reddit
people pronounce the same words differently nevertheless
BextoMooseYT@reddit
Sure but if the idea is to regularize written language, the fact people pronounce- and thus spell- words differently makes it pointless
BrianAwesomenes@reddit
As long as everybody means literally everybody, no matter what language they are writing.
iOSCaleb@reddit
Fantastic! So people in, say, Maine will spell just about everything differently from people in, say, Texas? They'll know exactly how to pronounce it, but have no idea what they're talking about.
GimmickNG@reddit
it's almost as if this sub is called r/CrazyIdeas and not r/RealisticIdeasWorthImplementing
morfyyy@reddit
Sounds like an amazing idea if you don't think it through.
What's the point of having a phonetically accurate alphabet when no one pronounces the same words the same a.k.a dialects. Would you have to spell the same words differently according to your dialect? Or do you pick one standard pronounciation everyone writes in, in which case it isn't even an IPA anymore.
And internationally, what's the benefit of being able to phonetically read scripts of every language if you don't understand the language?
Im_high_as_shit@reddit
As someone who prefers to read, I end up mispronouncing words, this works.
BasisKey2082@reddit
Well we did when we built that sweet Babylon tower
fries_in_a_cup@reddit
You’d still have to account for accents though. Not everyone pronounces everything the same.
mrbeanIV@reddit
aɪ fil laɪk ˈaʊtˈsaɪd ʌv ən ˌækəˈdɛmɪk ˈkɑntɛkst ˈjuzɪŋ ˈsɪstəmz wɪð ˈrɪʤɪd rulz dɪˈzaɪnd tu prɪˈsaɪsli dɪˈskraɪb kəmˌjunəˈkeɪʃən ɪnˈstɛd ʌv ˈækʧuəli ˈbiɪŋ juzd tu kəmˈjunəˌkeɪt ɪn ˈfeɪvər ʌv ˈsɪstəmz, ˌhaʊˈɛvər flɔd ðeɪ meɪ bi, ðæt ˈnæʧərəli dɪˈvɛləpt wʊd ˈoʊnli lid tu kənˈfjuʒən, ɪnˈdid ə ˈkreɪzi aɪˈdiə.
aɪ laɪk ɪt.
Global-Eye-7326@reddit
I wanna drink beer
Equivalent-Piano-605@reddit
I get we’re on crazy ideas, but what’s the benefit to this? I guess theoretically accents might translate better? But cross language communication becomes 10x harder. Current tools mean two people speaking English with a thick Irish and thick Louisiana accent (and I’m sure examples exist in other languages) can communicate perfectly well over email, this turns that into reading phonetically out loud like a high schooler reading Huck Finn every time they get a message.
Everydaypsychopath@reddit
I got about 3 words in before my headache got worse. No thank you.
blueskiess@reddit
I love it, bring on the crazy