How do I cope with the sound of ball being kicked against a wall constantly?
Posted by Appropriate-Dig-7080@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 200 comments
I live in a terraced house, recently had new neighbours move in next door with young children.
Now the weathers nicer and days are longer they’re outside for long periods of time screaming and kicking a football repeatedly against their garden wall. The sound vibrates through my house really loudly and I’m finding it very hard to deal with, I’m autistic and loud, repeated sounds and sounds I can’t stop/control are very distressing to me and I can’t just ignore it no matter how hard I try.
They’re not kicking the ball against my fence or house and they’ve every right to play in their garden, so asking them not to isn’t a reasonable option so I’m after some tips or advice on how to try and adjust and live with the noise. At the moment I’m just putting music on really loudly to block it out which doesn’t trigger me as I enjoy music and I can control the volume and start/stopping of the sound, but I worry that’s unfair on my neighbour on the other side if they can hear my music.
bigfathairybollocks@reddit
Noise cancelling earphones are a gift from god. They will make you completely deaf though so be ready for someone in the house to scare the living shit out of you.
BeatificBanana@reddit
Hi, please could I ask what you mean by "tune out a select noise"? And what brand do you have that lets you do that? Mine (bose) just have generic noise cancelling, you can't tweak it to counteract a certain noise, but that sounds great if that's what you meant
Hakizimanaa@reddit
This is the answer
BeatificBanana@reddit
Hi, also autistic here and also live in a terraced house in a built up area where noise is inevitable. What I do when I'm getting overstimulated by a noise I can't control is -
Put in earplugs (I use silicone earplugs because I find them the most comfortable, as they don't actually go down inside the ear canal, just over the opening)
Put noise-cancelling headphones on OVER the earplugs (you absolutely must get a good model with active noise cancelling - they're expensive but worth the investment - mine are Bose, my husband's are Sony, they're both good but I think the Sony ones are better)
Turn the headphones up to the maximum noise cancelling level and put on music, white noise or rain sounds depending on what mood I'm in (sometimes music is too stimulating)
Thurallor@reddit
Listen to a YouTube video of a rainstorm, or "brown noise".
MrHistoricalHamster@reddit
Obvious one is sound isolating headphones.
Manik-Paintwaster@reddit
£100 .. & I will fill the wall with nails back to front. When do you want me to start ?
Manik-Paintwaster@reddit
Or a safer more child friendly approach. Cover the wall in thick grease so It just sticks and rolls down the wall.
that will be £150
non-hyphenated_@reddit
Normal form is to join in, twat it away whilst muttering "'ave it"
TheHalfwayBeast@reddit
I'm not entirely sure how I'm supposed to hit a football with my twat, especially not to any kind of distance.
ItsDominare@reddit
a cunt punt, obviously
ssshhhutup@reddit
I took a free kick to the crotch the other day and my entire pubic area was bruised. The ball actually ricochet quite far. Not sure if that counts as hitting it with my twat but it was the general twat region
Ze_Gremlin@reddit
If that was a bloke, he'd be out of action for like an hour.
The old twig and berries are our weak spot..
i_sesh_better@reddit
I use mine like a croquet hammer
New_Line4049@reddit
You mean put it in the back of the shed and forget about it fir years while it gathers dust? Me too.
OutrageousRhubarb853@reddit
Ffs! Don’t tell them that, that’s our secret to keep!
TheHalfwayBeast@reddit
A free kick? At least they didn't charge you.
That_Northern_bloke@reddit
Well you won't with that attitude
pinnnsfittts@reddit
nice
dbxp@reddit
Labia extensions.
ultrafunkmiester@reddit
For those not understanding it's a john smiths advert with Peter kay back in the day. Funny. here
gighappy99@reddit
Install one of those sonic rat scarers. Kids can hear it too. Turn it off if they stop playing football/hitting the wall. They will soon associate the two. The parents won't believe them about the noise because they won't hear it. 😬
badgerkingtattoo@reddit
I’m 34 and my 82 year old neighbour has one of these, presumably to prevent squirrels or cats. It drives me MENTAL in the summer. You can even hear it through the double glazing sometimes if there’s no music on.
When do I stop hearing these!?!? 😂😂😂
beefygravy@reddit
Unless the parents are under the age of 60 in which case they will hear it
gighappy99@reddit
Nope rat scarers 20,000 hertz. Average 40year old can't hear above 15,000. Kids can hear 20,000
gyroda@reddit
Also, anyone else in the vicinity.
Fed up with one kind of noise? Inflict another, worse noise on everyone else!
silveredwhiskers@reddit
Using mosquito alarms as youth deterrents is seen as such an infringement on human rights that they're banned in many UK cities. Even if they're allowed near you, it's very cruel. They give me nasty headaches and I'm in my 20s. Can you imagine doing that to a baby or toddler? The baby crying and crying in the garden and the mum no knowing why? Gives me the chills
jalopity@reddit
Sonic rat scarers to stop kids playing.
lemon-fizz@reddit
This is absolutely genius.
Theres3ofMe@reddit
I need to know more about this!!! 🤣🤣🤣
tnolan1995@reddit
I like this!
pullingteeths@reddit
Why don't you listen to the music using headphones? Or get some noise cancelling headphones to block the noise when it's too annoying and you don't want to listen to music. Also if you're watching something at the time use headphones. Very useful item
WPorter77@reddit
nah fuck that you shouldn't need ear defenders in your own home.
Our old neighbour suggested that when I said you need to teach your kid you have neighbours and have to be mindful of us. It was constant screaming, banging on the walls all day and the parents were just as loud
pullingteeths@reddit
It's just a practical suggestion as an alternative to blasting music out loud since they're not enjoying that. Kids are allowed to play and kick a ball in their own garden against their own wall in the middle of the day. That isn't bad behaviour. That is normal neighbourhood noise and if you're particularly sensitive to it it's on you to find solutions other than expecting people who aren't doing anything wrong to change their behaviour.
WPorter77@reddit
First port of call is to go and speak to them, I doubt they're aware this person is autistic. First thought shouldn't be I have to do something. No theyre not showing signs of bad behaviour but should be courteous of their neighbor.
pullingteeths@reddit
What can they do though? Stop playing outside? Stop playing football which is most kids' favourite thing to do outside? If it's overly loud it's fine to ask but some noise is expected
WPorter77@reddit
Limit smacking it against the wall all day? Play somewhere else? Might be some very simple solutions with a conversation, no one is telling them to not play
pullingteeths@reddit
I don't think it's reasonable to ask someone not to play in their garden. People are allowed to make noise. Asking about kicking it against the wall is reasonable. But if they're not open to it there's really not much that can be done as they're really not doing anything wrong
WPorter77@reddit
No one is saying they can't play in their garden, why are you making things up 😂 nowhere does it say that
When I was little I did the exact same all day against the garage wall, our neighbour politely asked to limit it and we did.. it's really not difficult to respect others.
Again in case you missed it yet again, no one absolutely no one is asking them not to play In the garden. Just speak and come to a reasonable adjustment for both
pullingteeths@reddit
Yeah that's fine. Nothing wrong with asking. But I'm saying be prepared that there might still be noise that bothers you with no recourse since they're not breaking any rules or being particularly inconsiderate. So there are some options to reduce the amount you hear if it's bothering you a lot
Frugal500@reddit
If you don’t want music play brown noise on headphones. You’ll not hear anything and your brain just kinda filters the Brian noise out after a while too. Next best thing to silence
Big-Flatworm-9164@reddit
Fill a football with cement and put it up against the wall overnight
PsychologicalTowel79@reddit
I've got the same problem, except for the autism.
NoVermicelli3192@reddit
Have the music cranked right up for a few days every time it happens. Then Have a quiet word with them under the guise of apologising for the loud music, and explain it’s just to drown out the ball banging noise ;as you understand the kids do what kids do…. You might ‘inception’ them into sorting the ball noise
Key-Environment-4910@reddit
Kids want to be kids and they have the right to play out; unfortunately this kind of thing happens but I do feel your pain having gone through something similar. My advice would be when they are out screaming and carrying on is to put your ear earphones in or go out if you can or perhaps ear defenders.
Humble-Parsnip-484@reddit
Crank up some Van Halen
lickmybrains@reddit
Report to them to noise abatement team at your local council, make sure you push that it is a statutory nuisance. Kids making noise is a fact of life, but kids kicking a ball against a wall for hours is not reasonable.
TheKiwiHuman@reddit
Noise cancelling headphones. I recommend Soundcore for a good balance between cost and quality but you should also do your own research.
cayosonia@reddit
Play something obscene very loudly and the parents will drag the children inside. My go to is "I like the ladies" by Tricky.
Appropriate-Dig-7080@reddit (OP)
To be fair I think they did hear my having sex the other day as my bedroom window overlooks their garden 😂
cayosonia@reddit
That's the spirit!!
Jassida@reddit
Go round and politely explain that the noise is affecting the peaceful enjoyment of your house and although they have every right to play in the garden, is there any chance of compromise.
Simply agreeing a timeframe they are guaranteed to not play outside would be a great starting point. If my neighbours were annoyingly noisy but I knew the noise would stop by a certain time, I might be ok with that.
Just because it’s their garden doesn’t give them carte Blanche to make noise. You could set up a dog crèche and see how they like the sound of barking dogs night and day
Hakizimanaa@reddit
Ops going to rightly get told to fuck off if they go over and ask their neighbors kids to stop playing football in their own garden
LuDdErS68@reddit
That's not what OP would be asking, though. Why are so many people not getting this?
Jassida@reddit
Only by unreasonable people. If they come into the house and experience it for themselves they might realise.
I don’t care what they think they can do in their own garden, if it’s constant shrieking and vibrations through the house, they’re the ones getting told to fuck off.
Edible-flowers@reddit
What about installing a water fountain. They're not particularly noisy, but the trickling might alter some of the sound. Add some wooden wind chimes (though these might annoy other neighbours).
Noisy neighbours are one of the annoying things about living in houses with tiny or narrow gardens.
ohnobobbins@reddit
Please no wind chimes. Sonic torture
LuDdErS68@reddit
The worst things ever invented.
Edible-flowers@reddit
MOH hates windchimes. Though on windier days, it might drown out (slightly) the thump of a football.
LuDdErS68@reddit
You are completely within your rights to "quiet enjoyment" of your home. You should not have to put up with a ball being kicked against your wall every evening.
The first step is to appeal to the parents to get it to stop.
Escalation is through the council's Environmental Health Officer. This might qualify as a statutory noise nuisance.
Keep a diary of occurances as evidence.
This has to stop, whether you are autistic or not.
Hakizimanaa@reddit
Please don’t waste the councils time with this ffs
LuDdErS68@reddit
You're asking the wrong person.
Appropriate-Dig-7080@reddit (OP)
It’s their wall not mine and I am totally of the understanding/belief that they’re entitled to play in their garden. I’m after advice on coping mechanisms rather than how to make them stop, which I don’t think would be reasonable on my part.
LuDdErS68@reddit
It probably doesn't matter whose wall it is. It's resonating through yours, causing a noise nuisance, just as someone playing the drums or loud music might.
It is reasonable to ask for it to stop, but if you want to let it slide and deal with the noise for you, then fair enough.
Noise cancelling headphones might be good.
niallniallniall@reddit
It is not socially reasonable to ask your neighbours to have their kids stop playing football against their own wall which is opposite the houses. Kids make noise when they play. Just have to do what OP is trying to do and find ways to cope.
LuDdErS68@reddit
No, but it it socially reasonable to ask that a noise nuisance stops. It's socially reasonable and responsible not to cause one in the first place.
I must have missed that bit... where has OP stated that the wall was opposite?
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/noise-nuisances-how-councils-deal-with-complaints
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/statutory-nuisances-how-councils-deal-with-complaints
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1990/43/part/III/crossheading/statutory-nuisances-england-and-wales
• 1(g) noise emitted from premises so as to be prejudicial to health or a nuisance;
SplurgyA@reddit
"The neighbours kids are playing with a football" will get you laughed at by a Council enforcement officer
niallniallniall@reddit
He mentioned in another comment. If it was an attached or shared wall or something I'd agreed, otherwise you're essentially making a noise complaint for kids playing, which is just ridiculous.
LuDdErS68@reddit
He didn't. He said:
"The wall is theirs it’s at the back of the garden opposite the house, it’s not a joining wall to my property. but they’re very small gardens so the noise of it hitting their wall still resonates really loudly through my house."
That doesn't say that the problem house is opposite. It refers to where the wall is.
Anyway, he doesn't want to follow the noise nuisance route, so ear plugs it is, as he's conscious of disturbing his neighbours with noise to counter the football.
niallniallniall@reddit
Right and they are next door neighbours in terraced houses... Therefore I am correct.
LuDdErS68@reddit
If that helps your ego, then go for it. You can be great, little one. One day you will indeed be correct about everything.
Hyperion2023@reddit
I think you’re being very reasonable in looking for a way to coexist rather than argue that one person’s right to do their thing undisturbed should override another’s. My suggestion was a sponge-type ball decathlon sell them which should be plenty of fun, even if it’s only the ball of choice sometimes. Probably more appealing if they’re younger kids.
If they’re older kids, and more serious about football, they might feel like it only counts as practice if it’s a normal football.
But if that’s the case, then hopefully the summer brings them a bit more freedom to play in the park etc, rather than at home all the time.
Ser-Cannasseur@reddit
Offer to buy them a goal to kick the ball into.
scarletOwilde@reddit
I’ve got neighbours like that. They’ve broken five plant pots as well with their footballs.
The thud, thud, thud, screaming, shouting and shrieking is driving me nuts.
All I can do is sympathise OP. I don’t know what to do either.
There’s a bloody great field a few yards away where the kids could play without disturbing anyone, but they don’t.
Usual-Ebb9752@reddit
This is my second comment and I swear I'm not getting paid for it, but Loop earplugs if you can tolerate them
evenstevens280@reddit
I've heard a lot of people rave about these. What's special about them compared with normal earplugs?
Usual-Ebb9752@reddit
They offer different levels of noise reduction. The ones I have really cut down on the background noise mostly.
So I can hear my partner talk clearly while we are on the sofa but I can't hear the party next door.
Or I can cut the office din down to a minimum while still being able to hear those close to me.
Traditional earplugs don't really offer that. Plus the design is more comfortable by far than the traditional earplug form.
EponymousTitus@reddit
Excuse my ignorance but after looking at their website, arent these just noise cancelling headphones but without the ability to listen to any music? Am i missing something? Their website doesnt seem to explain very much.
BigBadRash@reddit
They don't eliminate all the noise, they just reduce the level of noise. I use mine on the bus when it's particularly busy and for concerts to protect my ears.
UpbeatMeeting@reddit
They do not have active noise cancelling. There are no electronics inside them whatsoever. They are just specially designed earplugs that block out certain frequencies of noise PASSIVELY depending on which pair you have. I put the passively in all caps because it's something many people don't fully grasp, and then buy them and be disappointed that they're not as good as their Sony noise cancelling headphones - they're not! Because they're not the same thing! And that's not the point!
passabletrap@reddit
Got a link to a good pair?
Quiet_paddler@reddit
I bought the loop switch earplugs which allow you to turn a knob and adjust how much sound comes through. That has worked for annoying background noise (like drilling next door) up to rock concerts.
Ireallyamthisshallow@reddit
How does that switch work - does it make the plug wider/thinner or something? Sorry if that's a daft question.
xdq@reddit
Basically yes. I've had Alpine ones for years which have a soft outer and different cores that you can swap in for varying levels of noise.
I've not seen the Loop ones but I figure that turning the knob reduces the size of the port allowing sound through.
Usual-Ebb9752@reddit
I'd really recommend you head over to their website and spend a while finding what you think will benefit you the most. They have a configuration guide
I have engage personally
aemdiate@reddit
I have the ones with three settings and I'm afraid I think they are useless. Also, you will find out that the vibration is more annoying than the noise, which earplugs will not dampen and may in fact emphasise.. If going down the earplugs route I find Macks Snore Blockers to be the very best. If I were you I'd be having a word with the neighbour.
dbxp@reddit
Alpine and a number of other brands have been offering multiple attenuation levels for years and for cheaper.
Weary-Description773@reddit
They not that great lol I have some
Mental_Body_5496@reddit
Its hard to explain they don't fully block the ear but they do work !
dbxp@reddit
All musician/concert ear plugs do that
Mental_Body_5496@reddit
Yeah but these are pretty cheap the flare ones about £20.
Go ahead and recommend some brands for the OP to try 👍👍👍
dbxp@reddit
They spent a lot on online marketing, just search for them on amazon and the ad spots are very obvious. Other than that they're considered to be more discrete as they kinda look like jewellery.
Tay74@reddit
For me, it's just the shape of their all silicone ones (loop quiet I think?) Is perfect for when I'm trying to sleep or need to block out a lot of noise. A lot of other reusable earplugs I tried had pokey little sticks and those would dig into my ears and hurt
Catracan@reddit
Doing god’s work my brother! Keep it up. The number of people whose lives would be improved by a pair of ear plugs rather than moaning about kids getting exercise outside…
Signal-Ad2674@reddit
You think it’s acceptable someone else’s kid gets to ruin your home life with constant loud noise?
SplurgyA@reddit
"Don't let the children play in their garden as the noise bothers me" is something a villain from a 90s children's show would say
Catracan@reddit
My neighbours have been doing a home renovation for the past year. They’re at it every weekend and are very early risers. They took six Sundays to sand their floors. It’s a nice change from the old owner who used to stand on her steps screaming in distress at 3am.
My neighbour over the back has a particularly yappy pair of dogs who go nuts every time a cat walks across their fence, there are a lot of cats in the neighbourhood. We’re on the main route for the school run so have kids going past chatting and laughing and making noise twice a day.
Considering how noisy our neighbourhood is with, um, the usual noise of people living together, I don’t mind the odd occasion that my kid plays outside in our garden with her friends.
You don’t get to choose who your neighbours are, you do get to choose to put in some headphones and get on with weeding the garden.
Signal-Ad2674@reddit
You didn’t answer my question.
Let me answer. It’s not acceptable for other people to pollute your personal space for prolonged periods with their imposed noise. It’s selfish.
And this is why I live in a field.
Catracan@reddit
Congratulations, you’re completely in the right. Making loud noise is totally unacceptable and selfish. Now how does that work for you in daily life?
You never make loud noise yourself? You never attend events where loud noises happen? You don’t ever drive a car, take a train or fly in an aeroplane? All of these things make really loud, constant distressing noise all the time.
Kind of seems to me that most people find lots of ways to justify the noise they make and the noise they like hearing but then turn on kids because it’s easier to bully kids and be intolerant about the noise children make than it is to find a way to live with it.
Signal-Ad2674@reddit
Everyone makes noise at some point. DIY, mowing, etc.
But no asking noise in one location, repeatedly, for long periods, over a long span of time is ultinatiey affecting the lives of people around you.
For the former, it’s socially acceptable. Where it’s unexpected (DIY, temporary due to a short project) most reasonable people would pop round and explain to the r neighbours how long it will last, and its job done.
If you can’t distinguish between a degree of temporary inconvenience versus ongoing and persistent disturbance, then your judgement is part of this very self centred problem.
whatd0y0umean@reddit
I mean the op has clearly stated they're autistic. It's not like they're just irritated because kids are having fun it's the repeated thumping.
Catracan@reddit
I have ADHD, I’m hyper sensitive to noise myself. I fully understand how distressing and stressful it is to live with repetitive noise. I also spend rather a lot of my day wearing headphones in order to accommodate the issue.
It seems that today, I simply have very little tolerance for people who let things they find uncomfortable and distressing build up until it reaches a crisis point rather than seeking a solution when they first notice the problem.
quixoticduck@reddit
You're really assuming that it's easy to find comfortable earplugs/headphones that fit. Loops don't fit me (unless I'm using them wrong somehow?). I've yet to find comfortable noise cancelling headphones. I found one pair of comfy over ear non-cancelling headphones which half work, and lost hundreds of ££ doing so because I was too ill to return other pairs I got to try--and got creepy messages when I tried to sell them.
OP *is" seeking a solution, but finding a way to cancel out noise is often very difficult and expensive anyway. It's very odd of you to judge. If you're both ADHD and not an idiot then you should know not everybody fits the default in life.
Usual-Ebb9752@reddit
Hi, am also autistic and that's why I sent the recommend 😊 the person above can't seem to empathise with people who are truly affected so much by noise. I wish I lived in a body that didn't feel pain when a motorbike revved near me.
I'm so happy to hear you've also found products like this helpful, I honestly recommend them to every autistic person I know.
HelloW0rldBye@reddit
Also ear plugs don't work for deep bass (base). Believe me I've tried them all.
C0nnectionTerminat3d@reddit
Kids can get exercise whilst simultaneously respecting the people around them. Kicking a ball against a wall isn’t exercise nor respectful. People shouldn’t have to use earplugs in their own home.
Catracan@reddit
I use earplugs in my own home everyday. If you have an issue with noise then the problem is your sound insulation.
C0nnectionTerminat3d@reddit
good for you, but that’s your choice.
People have issues with noise for all sorts of reasons. Insulation, poor house build, autism or other neurodivergence, mental health or even physical health difficulties, or maybe just because they want some peace and quiet after work or school or other. I don’t mind children screaming every once in a while, but when it’s every single day it gets ridiculous.
Catracan@reddit
I have ADHD. I have really serious sensitivity to noise. It’s up to me to find solutions, not to expect the world to stop spinning because I can’t afford to live in a soundproofed box in the middle of nowhere.
It’s a good thing you’re not in our neighbourhood, we’re just round the corner from a public play park. Throw in the random way the wind whips down our street and the football stadium noise from two miles away and the outdoor music venue from three miles away are so loud, you might as well be in the stands. 🤷♀️
C0nnectionTerminat3d@reddit
You’re totally right, but it’s also not okay for people to just do whatever they like or encourage such. You can say “it’s up to me to find solutions” whilst also saying “it’s not okay for others to be acting this way”.
Catracan@reddit
It didn’t say it’s not okay, I just said it’s frustrating when people let mundane things in their lives escalate to a point where they have increasingly extreme reactions to them. We’re all human, we all do it but we’re the grown ups and part of being a grown up is finding strategies to the discomforts of living with others - particularly children, who are infinitely annoying in a million different ways, particularly when they’re your own children.
C0nnectionTerminat3d@reddit
People have extreme reactions because nothing is changing. Parents don’t parent their children which leads to others getting irritated, and then parents get irritated at the irritated people because they feel like they’re being attacked so as a result, they don’t do anything. It’s an endless cycle - talking from my own experience exclusively here.
being a grown up is also expecting other grown ups, particularly the ones in charge of the little ones, to teach them these things.
Catracan@reddit
Kids will always make noise, no matter what you do as a parent. Not least because it’s not a parent’s job to be monitoring their older children 24/7. Only the other week we had some drunk sixteen year olds try and play chap door run on our street. They’re local kids and generally well behaved but they were walking home at midnight after a party. As I heard them coming from a mile off ( supersensitive hearing for the win!) I saw what they were doing and swung open our door to greet one of them just as she was about to knock on it. Watch her scream and all the kids bolt down the road after getting caught out was one of the funniest things I’ve seen in ages. Kids test boundaries, they’re designed to be annoying.
My own kid has two neurospicy parents, and thus has her own neurospicyness. She’s tremendously musically talented and never, ever, ever stops talking. Ever.
How would you like me to make her be quiet exactly? Would it be good parenting to punish her for being entirely free to be herself at home? Should I stop the music lessons because I don’t enjoy listening to her practice her scales?
Would it be good parenting to teach her to be seen and not heard? To sit and be still and quiet all the time, even though part of her neurospicyness is her compulsive need to move and be active?
Healthy society is formed by healthy tolerance for each other.
C0nnectionTerminat3d@reddit
You’re taking my views way too personally. I’m not saying kids should be quiet 24/7. I don’t mind them playing outside, or doing whatever kids do, but what they shouldn’t be doing is screaming at the top of their lungs for extended periods of time, or shouting. Not only is it annoying for everyone around them but i imagine unhealthy on their vocal cords.
You’re right, but healthy tolerance goes both ways. Adults should respect that children will play and make noise, but children should respect that adults - and even other children, don’t want to hear loud voices all the time. It’s a mutual understanding that whilst each will do what they do, there needs to be a limit.
Catracan@reddit
I’m not taking your views personally, I’m just trying to clarify that loud noise is a defining part of our society. What irks me that people choose to complain about the noise from children and go on the attack about them, yet tolerate myriad other things that are arguably worse.
I don’t much care for loud, continuous screaming but my old, elderly neighbour was a worse nuisance for doing that at three am on her doorstep than any of the kids in the area, whose noise is mostly kept to daytime hours.
C0nnectionTerminat3d@reddit
Again, you’re right but certain loud noises can be controlled, such as the one i’m talking about. People are complaining about children in this conversation because that is what the conversation is about. There are plenty of other noises that people talk about but we’re not here because that’s not what this conversation is about.
It doesn’t matter who has it worse or not, but you realise you could’ve reported the elderly neighbour?
Catracan@reddit
We didn’t ‘report’ her, we helped her! Repeatedly. We went round and took care of her and made sure she was okay, we called her sons when these events happened, we made sure she was safe and well. In the end, she was just too elderly and in pain to remain living in her home, so that night we sat with her and held her hand while we waited for the ambulance crew to take her to hospital.
It is a profoundly sad thing to think someone would be more worried about reporting an old woman for being senile and in pain than lending a hand.
C0nnectionTerminat3d@reddit
you made it sound like you did nothing. Don’t leave out details if you don’t want people to misunderstand you.
Catracan@reddit
I didn’t put it in because it wasn’t relevant. It was still a bloody pain in the neck being regularly woken up in the middle of the night by someone screaming and screaming. Tho, to be fair, we’ve just had the same with mating foxes. The world is full of noise. Lol.
C0nnectionTerminat3d@reddit
If the rest of the detail wasn’t relevant neither was the addition in the first place, and then you tried to make me look like the shitty person with the “profoundly sad” stuff.
I’m gonna end the conversation here because we’re not getting anywhere and i’ve kind of lost respect for it after that.
Traditional_Earth149@reddit
I picked up a pair as I find loud spaces can leave me feeing pretty overwhelmed and they are brilliant they made my nephews birthday party and the screaming kids really manageable so I highly recommend them to.
Jassida@reddit
Keep knocking on. Make yourself as annoying to them as they are to you.
Creative-Job7462@reddit
Went through the same thing last summer. Double glazing windows/sound insulation are no match for the kids that live in my flat.
The constant door knocking or trespassing into my garden to retrieve the football.
I've been fighting with my housing association for about a year about higher fence and CCTV and for them to do something about 10-20 kids playing football in communal green area, I have made 0% progress lol.
I'm now scared of summer lol, it's April already, not looking forward to summer at all 🫤
niallniallniall@reddit
CCTV to watch kids play football? Deary me. Complain about them on their devices, complain about them being anti-social, complain about them playing football.
Creative-Job7462@reddit
Should have made it clearer: CCTV in front of my door so they can see who rings the bell then runs away.
Or sometimes kicking the door hard then running away. By the time I get to the door, they're gone, really irritating when I'm taking a nap.
DizzyMine4964@reddit
Deary me, people wanting peace in their own homes. What do you want parents to do - actually parent?
niallniallniall@reddit
Peace from kids outside playing football? It doesn't exist. Kids exist and make noise. We can't ban noise. I bet you wandered around silently as a kid eh? And I bet your shit doesn't stink either.
behavedgoat@reddit
Write a anonymous petition with scribbles from neighbours saying you're destroying the peace be considerate or you will be reported
Academic_Guard_4233@reddit
Is there a wall in the field to kick a ball against?
GetCapeFly@reddit
The problem with playing fields is there’s never a net in the goal or a wall to kick ball against. Parents are also not fans of letting kicks play unsupervised out of their own properties these days.
bacon_cake@reddit
I sympathise with you OP. I moved home partly because of this.
EssentialParadox@reddit
Unconventional suggestion, but could you try cognitive reframing? It’s a component of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
In short, you reassociate those sounds in your head as a positive.
You can lookup more detailed processes for how to do this but in short you would:
Either way I hope you find a happy solution!
Careful_Adeptness799@reddit
Wait until they kick it over the fence then stab it with a pair of scissors
marcdk217@reddit
Thinking outside the box a bit, you could buy a portable goal, and be the cool neighbour who offers to let them borrow it. https://www.amazon.co.uk/BAGAIL-Football-Portable-Assemble-Recreational/dp/B0CX5BX3HJ
Then you would only have to hear them when they miss the goal.
toady89@reddit
Isn’t some of the fun of kicking a ball against the wall the fact it comes back to you?
Sorry-Badger-3760@reddit
You can get rebounder nets
Living-Idea-3305@reddit
Like this https://www.robertdyas.co.uk/precision-pro-jumbo-rebounder-spares-net?cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=21006297761&cq_term=&cq_plac=&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwwLO_BhB2EiwAx2e-399-_uJZ3XT_EXfVRvzmhscMgVyi28uBBFqlh0l9sNZEIGqYMs-rfRoC4AAQAvD_BwE
Seems a small cost to offer to buy it for them. Have a chat with your neighbours. OP seems like a very reasonable person (kids need to be kids), their neighbours might also be driven nuts by the noise too. Worth having a chat about it. Let them know that you want the kids to enjoy the garden, but you'd like to enjoy your property. Suggest the rebounder saying it will be better than a fence for them and improve their skill. Offer to go halves or even to buy it for them. If they are resistant, to a reasonable offer like this, then you know you have a bigger problem on your hands. Bad relationships with neighbours can escalate quickly so best to do whatever you can to avoid that outcome.
ratherbefuddled@reddit
We bought a rebounder for our kids because the temptation of kicking the ball against next door's wooden fence was too much for them. Works really well, they're inventing all kinds of games and drills with it. Kids should be encouraged to play outside and it's a reasonable compromise.
Kolo_ToureHH@reddit
Yep.
It's a great and underrated way for people to practise their first touch and passing because the ball always comes back to you.
Justboy__@reddit
Fine, portable wall then:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/RANTILA-Divider-Partition-Separators-Freestanding/dp/B0BMTBSB7R/ref=asc_df_B0BMTBSB7R?mcid=6f2395ed77b43c6d8e3aa3aa85d69c9d&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=722465183954&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=13886634997969176711&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046303&hvtargid=pla-1943287264219&psc=1&gad_source=1
slade364@reddit
Enjoyed many a good game of wall-y and kerb-y growing up.
marcdk217@reddit
I was thinking they might be using the wall as a goal, that's what we used to do as kids. Would have loved a proper goal.
slintslut@reddit
Yeah either that, or they're playing slams, but if someone offered us a goal net we would have swore to never kick that ball against the wall ever again lol
carguy143@reddit
The front of my house is open to a public square and despite having a park just a few feet away, they still boot footballs in the square and they regularly hit my wall. It's annoying but I just go out every now and again and ask them to reign it in.
Ill-Vacation4888@reddit
Buy them a set of goals or something?
BeardySam@reddit
But them a football net as a ‘present’ , £20 on Amazon
bain2236@reddit
You could try some earplugs, I use a brand called loop to sleep. They don’t completely block noise but reduce all sound levels by a chunk. 20 quid, pricey for earplugs I guess but they’re great. I’ll be using them more when my new kid is born. New born cries are so loud and high pitched
Rich_Replacement_684@reddit
You could gift them a pop up goal?
811545b2-4ff7-4041@reddit
I would cope with it by having a hefty sound system and this song - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDkmaNfBOtU
Or maybe this one starting at around 30s in - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_mzKU2Jg78 Although it does sound a bit like a car alarm to me.
Jacktheforkie@reddit
Knock on the door and ask their parents if they can find an alternative place to play
Same_Adhesiveness_31@reddit
Try and look on the bright side which is that it could be much worse. I have to listen to my neighbours dogs from like 7am. One has the worst sounding bark/yap I've ever heard 😅 When my windows are open in the summer I feel like they're in the room with me!
Only thing you can realistically do is cover up the noise with your own. Music or just a TV on in the background.
With any luck as we progress in to actual summer these kids will start playing out on the street with their friends rather than in the garden.
Sorry-Badger-3760@reddit
We had neighbours like this. Just a ball slamming against a wall for hours and then they got a basketball hoop. I have kids too so I know you can't stop them playing and making a noise but we got them a rebounder as I hate the noise of the ball thudding.
Accomplished-Salt797@reddit
Omg the dreaded basketball, there is one next door and a few doors down 🫣😤 drives me mad, 🙄
CalligrapherLeft6038@reddit
I've actually learned to like the basketball sound, despite it going on for hours in the summer. I find it kinda relaxing now, I guess because it's predictable. Unlike my other neighbour's outdoor DIY which is random power tools drilling/sanding, sawing etc.
sklatch@reddit
Go and tell them to stop?
ceb1995@reddit
How comfortable are you with ear defenders or ear plugs?
Polz34@reddit
Came to say this. Years ago I had a noisy neighbours and I got some noise cancelling blue tooth headphones, could link them to the TV as well so I basically could walk around my place with either music or TV or just silence.
CranberryWizard@reddit
Shouldn't have to use them in your own damn house
D0wnb0at@reddit
I was thinking noise cancelling earphones. So even when they don’t want to hear music, they can still block out sounds.
Additional-Guard-211@reddit
If you go down the trying to block it route, loop earplugs are great (and for sleeping too). Noise cancelling headphones are brilliant (even without this). But they would at least take the edge off the sound (Active Noise Cancelling uses a process called anti phase). If you don’t want music, you could use white noise. If you have an iPhone, use the “backgrounds sounds” which you can easily trigger on and off with a shortcut. Android will have something similar. AirPods Pro 2 are great, if you dont want to spend too much, go and look at a brand called Soundcore (but get their more expensive ones). You could potentially combine loops with the over ear headphones and white noise which will really cover most of it.
FehdmanKhassad@reddit
give him a gift, maybe a set of bow and arrows with suckers on?
MysticSmeg@reddit
Id start with asking your neighbour if your loud music bothers them. If it doesn’t then problem solved.
Neobandit0@reddit
Bet them £5 you can make their ball disappear then kick it as hard as you can into the distance
TeetheMoose@reddit
My neighbours were doing that. I eventually got mad and when over told them they were destroying my wall, it now as a massive crack in it. Also mde two reports to my council.
Firm-Wear2736@reddit
I feel you and there's not a lot you can do just earplugs and loud music. In my case the council don't give a shit as long as they can siphon a extortionate amount of money from the tenant. Could try the noise nuisance team although in experience they've been fucking useless dealing with noise complaints of any kind.
Love the comments from the parents out there who make us out to be the bad guys because we want peace and quiet in our own private property when there's a park 5 minutes away they could use.
loveshot123@reddit
I have adhd and autism and my sound sensitivity is extreme. I've struggled since having to move in to a ground floor flat (I had no choice in the matter as was homeless) with upstairs noise (literally just normal living sounds, but at one point was excessive but was dealt with), next doors dog barking a lot (they must have done something because the dog only barks when it hears someone in the communal area now), the busy road on the back of my property (factories that start up ridiculous noise from 5am plus heavy traffic as a main road) and the security door slamming all day and night (people gotta work, but that door is a joke and it's actually extremely damaged now as someone's kicked it in, but the housing are dragging their feet to sort it). And to top it off, a husband who snores like a damn walrus.
I invested in earloops. This solved most issues at night but I do have to nudge my husband when his snoring gets loud. I have hearing aids now due to minor hearing loss (the fucking irony) and they also play white noise constantly as it also have tinnitus. That white noise has helped me become less reactive to noise, which has reduced my stress levels and generally made me a more pleasant person. When noise gets too much for me I either put my tv on with a show i enjoy (current fixation is mock the week) or I play some music i know calms me and cancels out bass and noise from other tenants properties.
It's really hard living with the sensory issues that come with adhd and autism, but I really do recommend earloops and white noise and any other things that you find distract you from sound sensitivity. Noise canceling headphones are (from what I've heard) a very good investment for people with sensory problems.
Either that or if you do want to approach the neighbour about it, maybe see if you can find a second hand goal post with net on Ebay or free sites to offer as a gift? It's not your place to do that obviously. But sometimes a little gift can bring better results than just a calm conversation. People can overthink. What should have been a calm conversation can escalate in a person's mind after it's ended and some people will then react negatively (up the anti so to speak).
I hope some of these suggestions help.
rejectedbyReddit666@reddit
Stab the football if it comes into your garden , old school style.
PenlyWarfold@reddit
Drill holes in the wall(outside). Then place long screws in the holes(pointy end out).
They’ll learn soon enough.
Any-Class-2673@reddit
Ear defenders. You can get them for £5 from Screwfix.
PoetryNo912@reddit
You can look into noise cancelling headphones, or really any suitably chunky over ear headphones and play music you like to your own volume, knowing you are not bothering anyone else.
If you just need it to be quieter, look up ear plugs called Spark Plugs. I find the soft foam 35 decibel ones help make sounds a more reasonable level. If they don't suit your ears, there are many others rated for ear protection on building sites you can look up.
Next would be trying to soundproof a particular room away from the noisy side and where you can spend a fair amount of time, but that's expensive and difficult, and you couldn't open windows and have it still quiet.
Best option when you next move is try to find somewhere with a lot of retired people in the area, then kids are more of a weekend visits and school holidays thing only, or see if there are detached houses to give you physical space from neighbours. Of course that all depends where you are in the country and where you need to be for work etc.
Best of luck, from a fellow autistic who eventually moved to a street with a lot of retired people on it, and who uses Spark Plugs when travelling.
TheGreenPangolin@reddit
Go over while it’s happening. Ask about a parcel of yours that has been left with a neighbour but it doesn’t tell you which neighbour- do they have it? Obviously they don’t because there is no parcel. This is just a lie to have a reason to be over there. Make some comment about the weather or the council tax rise or something. Then make a joke about how the kids sound like they’ll be breaking that wall down soon- it must drive you mad but it’ll be worth it when they’re playing for (big local team) and making you rich.
Maybe the parents won’t do anything. And you haven’t actually complained, just commented on it existing, so no harm done.
But sometimes parents are so used to tuning out the noise of their kids that they don’t realise how loud it is until it’s pointed out, and once they realise, they also realise it is annoying and make it stop.
If you have the kind of autism that makes talking to strangers difficult (that’s the kind I have), this can also be done by a family member or friend who has gone round on your behalf since you’re “a bit poorly right now.”
Also I realise this is elaborate and weird but so am I. I do not take responsibility for this idea if it goes badly.
If that doesn’t work, I suggest ear plugs. I get silicone “sleep plugs” made at specsavers that are amazing in my opinion. And get some extra good treats for your dog- every time the noise happens, get excited with him and give him some treats (mine likes ham best) so he starts to think the noise means snack time rather than something to get stressed about.
Hyperion2023@reddit
Get them a sponge type ball? A lot quieter but they can still have fun with it
Theres3ofMe@reddit
I was thinking that!! I wonder how well he knows his neighbours and how well they get on in general....
talligan@reddit
Didn't we just have this post a few days ago?
Appropriate-Dig-7080@reddit (OP)
Not from me. I didn’t search before posting though.
talligan@reddit
Huh, well maybe you guys are neighbors! Misery loves company. Hope you get it sorted
Weird1Intrepid@reddit
Pellet gun/air rifle. Oh no, your ball appears to have popped. Again.
KayC720@reddit
I have no suggestions for you but I really like that you don’t want to stop the kids playing like a lot of the comments are saying. It’s really cool that you’re just looking for ways to cope with the noise
Mr_Bumcrest@reddit
Get some loop earbuds, I find them very good for filtering noise.
GuybrushFunkwood@reddit
Knock down the garden wall and replace with a thorny hedge. Or if it isn’t your hedge perhaps look at simply installing some kind of spring based cushioning under your house.
MadJohnFinn@reddit
That's a very suspicious "simply".
panic_puppet11@reddit
jeremyclarksonhowhardcanitbe.gif
Appropriate-Dig-7080@reddit (OP)
The wall is theirs it’s at the back of the garden opposite the house, it’s not a joining wall to my property. but they’re very small gardens so the noise of it hitting their wall still resonates really loudly through my house.
Catracan@reddit
Noise cancelling headphones and check out what audiobooks you can download with your local library card. You’ll be so productive pottering round the house and garden as an excuse to keep listening to really gripping books all summer that you won’t notice the kids.
Ill_Refrigerator_593@reddit
My old neighbours were in the same situation.
They bought yard long giant bamboo windchimes & put them up near our bedroom windows so we could never get any sleep.
Usual-Ebb9752@reddit
Loop earplugs
Healthy_Pilot_6358@reddit
Ive got the same issue. I despair.
MissingScore777@reddit
Not much you can do if they aren't even kicking against your wall.
Sea-Still5427@reddit
You're right that you can't really do anything about 'reasonble' noise (and the great thing about younger kids is that it tends to quieten down by mid-evening).
During lockdown I was in a similar post with upstairs neighbours. I invested in noise-csncelling headphones. That way you can have the music you like, as loud as you like, plus white noise cancelling out any remaining background noise. It will let in phone calls, alarms etc, so you won't miss anything important.
If normal headphones are uncomfortable for you, the headband version people for exercise and sleep might be worth a try.
george4064@reddit
Get some decent noise cancelling headphones and enjoy some relaxing music!
nolinearbanana@reddit
Totally with you on this - it's such a jarring noise like someone invisible following you round the house and clapping their hands next to your ear when you least expect it.
Way I see it, you've got two options:
1) Deal with the noise - one way which helps a bit is white noise because it densitizes your own ears - it also is unlikely to bother the neighbours. Another option is ear plugs although that comes at some cost to your own enjoyment of your property
2) Negotiate with the neighbours - either simply asking nicely for a compromise. Kids need to play but perhaps they don't need to kick the ball against the wall? Or you could go for passive aggressive "I'm autistic and the noise of your kids playing football bothers me so I will be covering the sound up with music - hopefully it won't bother you. I'll turn it down when the kids aren't playing football."
Indigo-Waterfall@reddit
I think it’s reasonable for you to politely go over to your neighbours and let them know how loud and distracting this sound is. Explain you realise they have a right to play in their garden but if there’s a way you can come up with a solution together. Perhaps take a small peace offering with you (just some chocolates, or sweets for the kids) to show youre not going over to be the grumpy neighbour.
Artistic_Data9398@reddit
Loud repeated sounds distress you but loud music doesn't? Pretty sure that's about as repeatable as noise gets generally lol.
You know, you can say that something annoys you without having to use your disability as a leverage to validate your feelings. Its perfectly acceptable to not enjoy hearing a ball being banged against a wall.
Ask them to sing and kick the ball on an 8 beat and then you'll be fine, right?
Indigo-Waterfall@reddit
Autistic here. The sound of a ball reverberating is very different from the sound of your own predictable music. Certain sounds are incredibly painful for people with autism, it’s absolutely reasonable and relevant for OP to mention their disability in this context. Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean different.
PM-me-your-cuppa-tea@reddit
I'm not autistic but live in an estate where the kids playing football echoes around and the repeated thud sound almost vibrates and reverberates constantly. It's actually a really awful sound. I just leave it and carry on with my day, but it is far worse than loud music.
Artistic_Data9398@reddit
Yeah i agree, realistically even if it was little Ronaldo in the garden practising, its a couple hours a day max. Kids are enjoying their new garden and space, leave them to it i say.
I live directly next to a big school entrance and i hear all kind of noise cars and kids and I've had it every Mon-Fri for 4 years. I still wouldn't come to reddit to post about an noise i have no control of lol
Appropriate-Dig-7080@reddit (OP)
Yea this is it, it’s way worse than if I could hear their music and definitely worse than hearing mine!
slade364@reddit
Get a dog. They'll bark at the noise so much you'll forget about the ball!
Appropriate-Dig-7080@reddit (OP)
I do have a dog which is another problem because it means even if I can learn to tolerate the noise it sets her off every time too.
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