New guilty pleasure, incoming…
Posted by Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit | shittyfoodporn | View on Reddit | 80 comments
Was actually not as bad as you would imagine… I did add a decent sprinkling of grated grana padano though to counteract the general blandness 🧀 l
I_might_be_weasel@reddit
I feel like they should have to call it "Carbonara style pasta" or something.
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
I’d have to agree there… I feel like Heinz are low key starting a war with Italy!!
I_might_be_weasel@reddit
Carbonara is barely Italian to begin with. But still, telling someone to expect Carbonara then giving them this seems misleading.
sealane@reddit
Or criminal.
Splash_Attack@reddit
You know the funny thing is that British style carbonara, with the heavy cream, is actually older than the "authentic" one Italians swear by today.
The British form appears in cookbooks in the early 1950s. If you look at recipes for "carbonara" being published in Italy at the same time you see all sorts of things modern Italians would call sacrilege - garlic, gruyere, parsley, and indeed, heavy cream.
It's funny to think that if the Brits had the kind of culinary nationalism that Italians do, it would be them complaining about the Italian recipe being inauthentic because it lacks the cream and the peas...
I_might_be_weasel@reddit
It was invented by American soldiers in Italy during WW2.
RatherGoodDog@reddit
Default username, default tastebuds. Of course you'd enjoy it.
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
You’re a bad dog! 😣
RatherGoodDog@reddit
I'm not saying I wouldn't eat it.
Putrid_Ad_7122@reddit
We don't get that in our region but it looks just like chicken noodle soup and instead of chicken 'bits' it's pancetta.
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
Playing fast and loose with the word “pancetta” though 😆
HeWhoChasesChickens@reddit
Is there no end to the depth of Heinz' depravity?
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
They have zero shame and they’re confident with it 😂
TitanThePony@reddit
Is that a UK or US Heinz product??
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
This one was bought and paid for in the UK, officer ☺️
Putrid_Ad_7122@reddit
We import some UK stuff like this but it's more of the staple stuff like beans or mushy peas. Of course at an obscene premium.
TitanThePony@reddit
Yes I didn't recall seeing it here in the States, but I might try it if available......
tiorzol@reddit
Found my tinder tag line
Purple_Map_507@reddit
You’d totally reel me in with that line 😆
coolboyyo@reddit
I legit miss MayoMust that shit was so good for sandwiches
lia-delrey@reddit
Them and Oreos.
They make their own rules, man. Gotta respect that.
sjm294@reddit
This is one of the easiest things to make yourself! All you need are eggs, cheese, bacon and pasta :)
doren-@reddit
it looks like the milk soup i had in my slavic childhood. gross
RowdyRoddyPipeSmoker@reddit
oof.
BenoniGwynplaine@reddit
This is cursed
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
I had it blessed.
ToastyAlligator@reddit
Repulsive-Square-593@reddit
pls tell me its an April fool joke cause I am gonna commit ...
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
It’s really real. It’s been unleashed on the world… [or at least on the UK, I can’t speak for everywhere, you might be safe depending where you are] See!
xxHikari@reddit
Heinz is a different beast in the UK. You guys have Heinz bean pizzas and stuff. Here it's just sauces, gravy, and relish etc. Perhaps salad dressings (USA)
stefferier@reddit
Looks more like chicken noodle soup lol
rep_entourage@reddit
If my grandmother had wheels she would’ve been a bike
xxHikari@reddit
"... I'm glad you're standing over there!"
DerkleineMaulwurf@reddit
look if you put large amounts of sodium and fat into a can in almost can't be bad
Repulsive-Coconut-26@reddit
I read that as “Pasta in a creamy sauce with placenta” on the first pass. Second pass, too.
DirtyLittlePriincess@reddit
i love that you you’re eating carbonara in a can but you still have grana padano 😭🤣
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
I’m not a total savage, gotta keep it classy 😆😆
thisisallsoconfusing@reddit
PLEASE I need you to attach a picture of the nutritional information and ingredient list, I can't find it online.
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
I can’t post another picture here so I’ve done you a copy pasta (no pun intended 😆) from the supermarkets website. Hopefully it turns out good because the spacing was funky. For ref, it was a 400g can, so you’ll need to multiply those figures as they’ve given 100g or half a can!
While I was there I saw the reviews and damn, this product needs a sub of its own. They’re brutal the Brits!! They’re not loving it 😂
Ingredients Pasta (45%, Water, Durum Wheat Semolina), Water, Pancetta (4%, Pork (95%), Salt, Spices, Maltodextrin, Dextrose, Acidity Regulators - Sodium Citrate and Sodium Carbonate, Antioxidant - Sodium Ascorbate, Preservative - Sodium Nitrite, Smoked Sunflower Oil, Natural Flavouring), Cornflour, Skimmed Milk Powder, Cheese Powder Blend (1%, contains Milk), Milk Powder, Sugar, Rapeseed Oil, Salt, Modified Cornflour, Stabilisers - Polyphosphates and Sodium Phosphates, Natural Garlic Flavouring, Black Pepper, Onion Extract, Dried Parsley
Nutritional Values Typical values Per 100g Per 1/2 can Energy 360kJ 721kJ
86kcal 171kcal Fat 2.5g 5.0g
- of which saturates 1.1g 2.2g Carbohydrate 12g 24g - of which sugars 1.8g 3.6g
Fibre 0.3g 0.7g
Protein 3.6g 7.2g
Salt 0.6g 1.19g
Servings per can - 2
*RI per serving
Features Pasta in a creamy sauce with pancetta. Low Fat. Low Sugar. No Artificial Colours.
Allergy Advice May Contain: Sulphur Dioxide/Sulphites. Contains: Milk, Wheat.
thisisallsoconfusing@reddit
Not the rapeseed oil!
Lol thank you, this is actually much better than what I had envisioned. Still a complete abomination, but at least it's mostly made of real food. If you are brave enough to face a second can, I would recommend adding tons of black pepper, like the actual dish intends.
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
It messed the spacing up on nutritional values. I’ll try and redo it for 100g only. One sec…
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
Nutritional Values Typical values Per 100g Energy 360kJ / 86kcal Fat 2.5g
- of which saturates 1.1g Carbohydrate 12g - of which sugars 1.8g Fibre 0.3g Protein 3.6g
Salt 0.6g
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
Better ☺️
withbellson@reddit
Dear God, that looks like Campbell’s chicken noodle with nacho cheese stirred in.
Breaking-Who@reddit
I would use this to bully Italians so hard
peacenchemicals@reddit
yeah but for once i gotta agree with them on this. even tho they’re so fun and easy to get all worked up lol
generallydelakrem@reddit
Times wrote a whole article about this titled "Heinz launches canned carbonara for Gen Z — our expert gives his view"
RunThruPlayLand@reddit
oh no, if y'all Brits have this then us Canadians should... I may have to find this for my partner to try (I'm too scared)
nerokaeclone@reddit
Heinz explain this bs
Pkyankfan69@reddit
Love me some carbonara on occasion but that looks fucking gross. That said, I’d try a bite.
binkobankobinkobanko@reddit
Probably just too salty like most canned items.
Pkyankfan69@reddit
I’d guess very salty and a mushy texture
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
I was pleasantly surprised 😅
binkobankobinkobanko@reddit
I imagine boiling pasta and buying jarred sauce would be significantly better in every category.
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
Save that for when I’m being fancy 😝
martimattia@reddit
i'm so angry about this that i'm coming from italy to your home just to obliterate that shit and make you a fucking real carbonara
tomwhoiscontrary@reddit
Same, i have a bit of a weird fascination with all these tinned abominations, mac and cheese, full monty beans, etc. They're all basically horrible, but in a strangely comforting way. Possibly nostalgia for an '80s childhood?
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
Yes!! Definitely this!… The spaghetti hoops and tinned spag bol were considered a decent tea when I was at primary school. Could never stomach the mac though… Let’s not talk about Campbell’s Meatballs, we’ll start riots 🤭
flat_four_whore22@reddit
I knew it would be bad, but I was still not ready for the second pic.
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
In hindsight I probably should’ve marked it NSFW 🤭
Olneeno111@reddit
People being way too dramatic, it looks unappealing but so do most things from a tin, it’s cheap and probably tasty
GiantEnemaCrab@reddit
Look man. You had me at pasta, cheese, pork, eggs, and spices in a low quality warm pile. You already won me over, you don't have to make me cum.
geezeslice333@reddit
NO
feltedarrows@reddit
hm. would.
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
Did, but don’t tell my mum… It’d bring shame on my family 😳
jamescharisma@reddit
It's no Alphaghettis, but it'll do
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
They saw how well they conquered the spag bol market and thought they’d branch out… but i think they got too cocky with this one 😆
gaydhd@reddit
Gonna send this pic to an Italian man I don’t like
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
🤣🤣🤣 Be careful, that would be a hate crime 😝
Appropriate_Gold1626@reddit
What the British food is going on here.
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
It’s a crime that we ever left the island really 😆
LostinQuiddity@reddit
Woooooow.... so much wooooooow
TheWarden007@reddit
That was Atomic Shrimp's Weird Stuff in a Can # 197!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAucnzAU1DA
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
Haha. He made a 32min vid out of it?!… I’ve tasted it and I’ve not got 32mins of content in me 😝
empatheticsocialist1@reddit
I've seen a lot of disgusting things, nothing's made me gag as hard as this does
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
I get that… My sister is a nurse in ICU and she’s packed wounds that look more appetising than this 😆
Severe-Rope-3026@reddit
searches label for evidence of british
"colours"
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
We do love an extra vowel… Shame they didn’t mention the bland flavoUr too 😉
Severe-Rope-3026@reddit
the fact that carbonara, which is by definition 95% a solid, is in this case a liquid was all the proof i needed
Correct-Holiday-6972@reddit (OP)
Quite nice, if you like mild cheese soup.