Caught the Neighborhood Poop Ninja in Action

Posted by gatorintexas@reddit | plano | View on Reddit | 72 comments

So I’m driving down my street, minding my own business, when I spot a woman walking her dog. The dog, right on cue, decides it’s time for nature to do its thing. Nothing unusual—until I notice that she has zero intention of cleaning it up. No bag, no visible effort, just vibes.

I slow down, roll down the window, and politely ask, “Are you going to pick that up?” She quickly replies, “Yes,” and I continue on my way, not trying to start drama.

I live about three houses down. I pull into my driveway, glance back, and—surprise!—she's gone. Houdini’d her way around the corner with poop in her wake.

Naturally, I channel my inner petty detective, jog around the corner, and snap a pic of the fresh evidence. As I’m walking back, she magically reappears and confronts me: “Why were you yelling at me?”

Yelling?? Ma’am, if that was yelling, you might want to avoid actual confrontation at all costs.

I calmly let her know: Leaving dog crap in someone else’s yard is not okay. Ever. You own a dog, you own the responsibility. Simple stuff.

Then another neighbor walks up with their leashed dog and says, “Oh yeah, she does that all the time—lets her dog out without a leash in the mornings to drop a deuce wherever.”

Seriously, what is it with some people? You bring a dog into your life, you also bring in poop bags, early walks, and a bit of humility. That’s the deal. Don’t be a garbage human—clean up after your pup.

And to the lady in question: If you’re reading this, maybe next time I’ll let my kid use your yard as a bathroom. Fair's fair, right?