The people over at the FryUp sub thought my breakfast was an affront to God and man.
Posted by MrCockingFinally@reddit | shittyfoodporn | View on Reddit | 212 comments

HerMajestysButthole2@reddit
Good god. This is not shitty. Not even 1%
TheRateBeerian@reddit
That’s a classic full English, no affront at all!
enigo1701@reddit
Well tbh...it IS an affront, an awesome one though
( still don't like the black pudding )
Critical_Bug_880@reddit
I e never had a full English but I know in my heart I would devour every bit of all that!
voodeuteronomy11@reddit
In your heart would also be all the clogged arteries. Still looks delicious, though.
gooeyjoose@reddit
It looks SOO good. I've never had the blood sausage or seen any in stores around me (US). That's the one thing I'm worried about. Does it actually taste like blood? I don't just wanna eat a clump of seasoned blood clots. But judging by everything else on this plate, I'll trust that the British know what they're doing and that it's good
Salohacin@reddit
I find blood sausage varies heavily from place to place, and especially country to country.
I've had some that I love, and some thst I find vile.
heyitsJess-onReddit@reddit
Blood sausage tastes (to me) something like pate, the sort of deep rich flavour that means you only ever want or need a slice or two on your plate.
When I do have black pudding I almost always schmear it across a piece of toast and top with egg or mushrooms, and I've never found it to taste iron-like the way other offal has.
tobotic@reddit
It definitely has an irony taste, but a lot of the flavour comes from the herbs and spices in it.
Perfect_Anywhere_107@reddit
It does have some of that metallic flavor that's forsure
betterplanwithchan@reddit
Tried blood sausage in Ireland, I wouldn’t say it tastes like “blood” per se, but it’s a unique taste.
helloiamsilver@reddit
What’s funny is I love breakfast food. It’s probably my favorite type of food and I could eat it every day. And yet a Full English is made up almost entirely of the breakfast foods I don’t like. Bacon is good. I like bacon. But I dislike sausage of any kind, tomatoes and beans. Gimme me a Waffle House all star special any day though
Jay_Robbin@reddit
When I visited the UK I made it a point to get a full English before I left and I planned to get one on my last morning there. Issues with my flight made me skip breakfast and head to the airport early so I never got it 😭
housustaja@reddit
It is stupendously good and such a low effort meal. The couple of times a year I have it I can't eat anything before late afternoon.
OneSensiblePerson@reddit
Is r/fryup a British sub? Or maybe there's a r/fullenglish. Ha, there is! And a r/fullenglishbreakfast
captstix@reddit
Top post on r/fullenglishbreakfast has rice...
OneSensiblePerson@reddit
That's just wrong.
captstix@reddit
Looks like a pretty dead sub tbh. r/fryup is the active one
OneSensiblePerson@reddit
No surprise, seeing as the top post has rice in it.
Evignity@reddit
Whenever I see it I just think acid-reflux and indigestion.
Lucariowolf2196@reddit
Always wanted to try a full english, but being an American that kind of thing is really hard to gather for.
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
If you find a decent Irish pub I'm sure they'll have something passable at least.
Certainly everything except the black pudding is pretty easy to get,
Lucariowolf2196@reddit
Living in New Mexico?
There's very few authentic ones, abd even fewer that do breakfast
stefanica@reddit
Looks ok to me. Is that a sort of fried egg sandwich on the left?
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Just eggs on toast with some Sriracha.
Exitium_Maximus@reddit
Looks like a proper English breakfast to me.
TheTendieMans@reddit
looks perfectly good to me, I'd gladly eat it.
johnaross1990@reddit
Where’s the hash browns mate!?
TheRealStevo2@reddit
So is it just me that thinks this looks terrible? Eggs and bacon are fine, everything else either looks terrible or I don’t know what it is
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Maybe take your ass back to kid food then? Like boohoo, it looks terrible just because you don't even know what the stuff is?
Kinda pathetic.
TheRealStevo2@reddit
Don’t take it personally I don’t like the food you do. Cause it sounds like you’re taking this pretty hard
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Tbh I am kinda salty people are so upset about caramelized onions of all things.
But in terms of your comment, since when does not knowing what something is make it terrible?
No issues if you had said you wouldn't personally enjoy it.
TheRealStevo2@reddit
I mean it looks like it’s supposed to be a plate of breakfast food, if that is what it’s supposed to be, most people don’t caramelized onions for breakfast.
If it’s not breakfast, then it’s just throwing me off. Onions aren’t bad, but they’re bad for a breakfast food
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
The onions make more sense than you think.
You do em in the pan after the sausages. They absorb all the flavour left behind. Plus give a bit of sweetness.
But yeah, plate of breakfast food.
TheW83@reddit
Looks fine to me. I wouldn't eat it for breakfast but I'd devour this at dinner... maybe not the blood sausage though.
nannerooni@reddit
Those tomatoes look fire
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Thanks! Got my technique down properly.
Erchamion_1@reddit
It's an affront to your plumber, but not to god.
dr_strange-love@reddit
What's that brown stuff between the sausage and the tomatoes? Caramelized onions?
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Correct!
PutinBoomedMe@reddit
That just made my stomach cramp. Love the flavor, can't handle the actual food tho
z31@reddit
It was the only thing I didn't immediately recognize too. I did think it was caramelized onion jam though. Looks delicious to me, the bacon is done perfectly, though the bangers could use some more color imo.
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
It did basically turn into jam. Really delicious.
Bangers should definitely have more colour, but I wanted to avoid burning the fond.
TheRateBeerian@reddit
If so I approve of this addition!
LazlowS@reddit
Why does it look cold?
Raneynickel4@reddit
r/FryUp is a fucking joke of a sub. Clicked on it and a sad looking £15 fry up from Gatwick is currently under Hot. And this monstrosity has over 100 likes https://www.reddit.com/r/fryup/s/gC60N9dOLY
People on that sub are probably idiots who had an english breakfast once when they visited the UK and think they know what is legit and what's not.
Consistent-Blood-@reddit
Actually I believe this proves there is no God.
howoldisascanius@reddit
I would inhale this within seconds
unwittingarchitect@reddit
This is like a perfectly good breakfast. I would be delighted with this plate even though i don't like that type of beans!
musteatpoptarts@reddit
This makes me want to eat a salad
thatirishdave@reddit
The size of thon black puddings. Sweet mercy.
Tyrgalon@reddit
Not sure about god and man but its definitely an affront to your soon to be clogged arteries.
Gott_ist_tot@reddit
Looks good to me. I'd gobble that right up.
sixjigglypuffs@reddit
nearly 300 upvotes, comes here for more
ReeffaRay@reddit
Uh, that bacon looks a little raw. Needs to be crispy.
galaxystarsmoon@reddit
No it doesn't.
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Personally I don't like mine too crispy. Like a bit of chew.
MrSaturnDingBoing@reddit
Chewy bacon gang rise up!
ReeffaRay@reddit
Eating pork not cooked all the way through can potentially lead to intestinal worms just a heads up
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
I know. It's definitely cooked. Just not crispy. Same for the sausages.
InvincibleChutzpah@reddit
While I agree, this is how it's usually served in the UK. British rashers are typically a leaner cut of meat than American bacon. It's somewhere between bacon and ham.
DeLowl@reddit
The people at FryUp are wrong, this looks hella good
fuzzybunnies1@reddit
They're not 100% wrong, that bacon is barely passable, has to be much more crispy. But I'd tolerate it and enjoy the rest of the meal.
galaxystarsmoon@reddit
British bacon is different and usually it's a lot softer cooked. Not everyone wants it crispy anyway.
theragu40@reddit
I like crispy bacon but that is very much an opinion and not universal. Hard to judge the plate based on bacon doneness.
Now you might say that's just a hell of a lot of meat for a single plate and could use a little balance.
But I feel like calling this shitty is pretty well out of bounds.
PiersPlays@reddit
The bacon and sausages are both undercooked. The black pudding appears to not have been cooked at all. Just sliced and slapped on the plate.
DeLowl@reddit
A lot of people enjoy crispy bacon for sure! But I at least enjoy chewy bacon a lot more, and I think OP may be the same :)
xChocolateWonder@reddit
Come on.
DeLowl@reddit
What?
69th_Century@reddit
I think they meant to say:
Come on this plate of food because it looks
𝑜𝓇𝑔𝒶𝓈𝓂𝒾𝒸
Odd_Supermarket_3393@reddit
Props, would definitely last all day. "I'm just having a celery stick for dinner "
All_I_See_Is_Teeth@reddit
Was it the bacon? Cause for me it's the bacon.
CinnamonBun_ZSD@reddit
What’s wrong with it? It’s not to my taste, but it looks good
goingtoclowncollege@reddit
Missing hash browns and having eggs separate is weird but idk I'd eat it
pocketMagician@reddit
Welcome we have people here who dip pickles in pudding, melt ice cream to make ice cubes for their coffee, fry canned tuna and think steak is any meat you ruin.
Xx_Silly_Guy_xX@reddit
Why did they think that
KrayzieBone187@reddit
I bet you poop bigly
Global_Algae_538@reddit
I'd shit my pants after eating it
AggravatingScratch59@reddit
What'd you have for lunch? A statin?
User013579@reddit
Why? Looks great!
PiersPlays@reddit
It's not to late to try cooking it.
cce29555@reddit
I mean in terms of calories and sodium yeah I'd be scared but otherwise I'd destroy it
DoubleRods@reddit
they didnt say that, this is clickbait
Vodkapencil@reddit
Individual items look banging though. It's just the combination of them that looks a bit off.
FitForce2656@reddit
Can someone explain what's off about this? Looks totally normal to me, but also not super familiar with fryups or whatever. Have seen them pop up on reddit before though and they normally look pretty much like this🤷♂️
caelum_daemon@reddit
I think it's English style
wertall@reddit
Maybe its the muffin?
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
It's not your classic presentation I guess. But I also don't have a big enough plate to do that.
ZapVegas@reddit
Plates to platters for all this! Looks great
Justice502@reddit
the black pudding doesn't look cooked lol
xzanfr@reddit
Traditionally a full English is cooked rather than wafted in front of a light sirocco
captstix@reddit
Top tier Full English right there. Caramelized onions aren't usual, but I'm not mad at it at all
oivaizmir@reddit
Looks great... just normally it's visualized more round in the arrangement then you have done.
doren-@reddit
how much it was worth?
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Made it myself. Would have to calculate the ingredients cost, but maybe $10?
doren-@reddit
i thought it was from some food chain lol
H0visboh@reddit
Love the way its laid out like some sorta posh charcuterie board 😂 always been in awe of people that can gobble something like this up before work this(minus the black pudding but with extra grasy mushrooms) was always my go to for ending an all nighter the food coma afterwards was best sleep id have all week
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Yeah, I've got a long weekend. No way I eat this and then do anything productive.
H0visboh@reddit
It's why the uk is in disarray all these builders eating these breakfast aimed at then and then fslling asleep on the job! 😂
garbagedayl@reddit
A beautiful full English breakfast. A bit too filling for me but I’d split it with someone, just not the tomatoes those are all mine.
Particular-Smoke-126@reddit
This looks fantastic and I bet it tasted even better! I posted on Fry Up a while ago and got nothing but negative comments. Buncha jerks over there! Don’t stop posting your food looks great.
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Yeah definitely won't. People seem to just get really upset if it's not exactly as they would want it for some reason.
mooshoopork4@reddit
No. This looks British as hell. No thankyou
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Proudly British. Would take this over dessert for breakfast any day of the week.
Chopstarrr@reddit
That’s so much food holy hell. I thought American portions were out of control!
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
That was my one meal for the day.
Chopstarrr@reddit
Oh hell yeah nice.
innere_emigration@reddit
The sausage looks underfried, maybe that's why they're mad. Otherwise it looks perfect, especially the tomatoes are really well fried lol.
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Thanks, really proud of my fried tomato game,
GrunchWeefer@reddit
The only thing shitty about this is what it would do to my digestive system after I devour all that. Love a full English breakfast. Scottish, too. Get that haggis in me. That said, I would trade it all for my native biscuits and gravy. I can never get enough biscuits and gravy.
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Biscuits and gravy is absolutely bomb.
One time I made scones for my wife, which if you don't know are literally the same thing as a biscuit. Took my chance to make some gravy too. The dirty look I got was worth it!
GrunchWeefer@reddit
Scones are a bit different. American biscuits are fluffier, more savory and buttery. Did you make the white sausage gravy, too? People don't realize how easy sausage gravy is to make. You just fry up sausage meat like you'd use for a scotch egg, then make a roux from the grease, then mix milk in the roux instead of a stock like you would for a normal gravy. Sausage gravy usually has copious amounts of black pepper as well.
Another obscenely delicious and unhealthy Southern American breakfast dish is chicken-fried steak. You bread up and fry a thin cut of steak like you would fried chicken, then pour the white gravy over top. The gravy usually doesn't have sausage in it, though.
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
I made white bacon gravy. Didn't have any sausage. But yeah, very easy to make.
The obscenely delicious and unhealthy southern American breakfast dish I want to try is chicken and waffles.
FarquaadsFuckDoll@reddit
Thats one of the best lookin’ Full English Breakfasts I have ever seen, and I don’t even know what that thing in the middle is, but I wanna eat it >.> Blood sausage? Rye bread? Don’t matter, WANT IT
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Blood sausage. Specifically black pudding.
Voodoo338@reddit
It’s been 80 years, you guys don’t have to keep living like this
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
You can pry a FryUp from my cold, dead hands.
VendettaBarreta@reddit
Did you remember to fry the black pudding, it looks raw?
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Yeah I did, but actually my first time cooking it. Didn't let it go long enough.
VendettaBarreta@reddit
At least you tried, you'll know when you cook it next time. So many people look at food and declare straight off, I don't know how to cook that so I won't
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Exactly! Now I know it's supposed to go black and is not in fact burning.
robster98@reddit
Not liking the addition of the onions. But everything else on those plates looks absolutely amazing. Would smash.
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
My wife doesn't like onions either.
RedditIsFascistShit4@reddit
Sorry, but it's done shitty. Blod sausage undercooked, onions look like shit. beans undercooked.
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Yeah, should have let the black pudding go a bit longer.
Onions look like shit but taste amazing.
Beans definitely weren't undercooked.
RedditIsFascistShit4@reddit
2nd. most probably.
3rd. I suppose a preference.
btw not British, just sometimes make it and love it, how ever beans gives me a bad ass heartburn.
VampireGremlin@reddit
I think it looks good.
FatStoic@reddit
did you cook the black pudding under a heated argument?
dragonblock501@reddit
That’s classic full English, so yes.
Possible-Estimate748@reddit
This sub is DUMB and doesn't allow image comments but I took a screen shot of Shaggy saying "Wtf is this sh!t above me Scoob??" And this post was above it Made me laugh
Post here to see what I mean
2kewl4scool@reddit
I’m from Kansas and I know what a full English is. I’ve never had it but at least I’m cultured
radda@reddit
I mean it's almost all there:
It's only missing
Shanakin420-69@reddit
11 out of 10 would smash.
FNChupacabra@reddit
Yeah, they’re fancy fuckers over there, I posted ONCE on that sub and got absolutely destroyed, so no commenting or posting on that sub for me, just admire from a distance. What is that between the sausage and the fried tomatoes?
sjm294@reddit
They’re just jealous 😋
chandleya@reddit
It’s just so.. brown
slcrook@reddit
I'd murder that! Can't really get a good black pudding hereabouts.
ShineRepresentative4@reddit
This is just a normal English breakfast lmaoo
smittyis@reddit
Stunning
stead10@reddit
Sausages seriously lacking some colour and personally I’d have the bacon way crispier but otherwise it looks tasty
saint_leibowitz_@reddit
Nothing quite like a big ol plate of brown
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
The tomato counts as vegetable right?
alargemollusk@reddit
Not shitty, proper English that.
Calm-Conference9884@reddit
I would love to try this!! Breakfast is my Favorite
Repulsive-Bus-8544@reddit
That will count as breakfast, lunch and dinner for me 😂😂
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
That's basically what I did. Lol.
Global-Register5467@reddit
Looks amazing except the eggs. I just cannot do ketchup on eggs. Now this us entirely a personal issue but it literally takes the breakfast from 10/10 to 2/10 for me. Just seeing it in the picture grosses me out.
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
That's Sriracha, not ketchup.
Global-Register5467@reddit
Oh. Then it's 11/10.
Fromthefunk@reddit
Can I just also add 2 pieces of fully crispy American bacon on top of it all?
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
If I'm cooking for you, I'll do the bacon how you like it.
Fromthefunk@reddit
No I want both, I’m all for the British stuff too I just ALSO want some American stuff cause those eggs could use some crunched and crumpled over the top 🤤
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Now that sounds like a use for very crispy bacon!
NickMalo@reddit
I eat everything except for the mushrooms, blood sausage (never had and scares me), and tomatoes.
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
I'd ask you to try the tomatoes. Salted and patted dry, way better than unseasoned.
Blood sausage is actually really nice. Just tastes a bit irony.
Fair game on the mushrooms if you don't like mushrooms.
NickMalo@reddit
Id venture into your territory of dried, seasoned tomatoes and blood sausage. Mushrooms really arent bad its just a texture thing for me lmao
Gardengnome4@reddit
This looks awesome! Are those tomatoes on the right? What did you do to them?
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Thanks!
Yeah, tomatoes. Just sliced one in half and squared it off so I have 2 flat surfaces. Salted heavily and let it sit on the board for ten min. Patted dry with paper towels. Then seared until lightly charred.
Gardengnome4@reddit
Huh, that sounds pretty good! I'm going to try that out!
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
It's really good!
mumbolt3@reddit
Let me guess, they were upset because beans aren't for breakfast?
I would destroy that breakfast, glad you enjoyed it OP.
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Na, beans are required. Main complaints:
Griffithead@reddit
I'm going to agree on the sausage. You got a little black, which is good.
But you need to get the rest of it brown. It takes some time and some dexterity with the tongs. But it's well worth it. Brown=flavor!
I wouldn't eat my bacon that way. Chewy rubber. But some people like that.
GourangaPlusPlus@reddit
They were right there tbf
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Yeah fair enough on that point. Fond was about to burn, so I prioritized the fond for the onions.
mumbolt3@reddit
I've seen a lot of breakfast bean haters around Reddit. I've always liked them for breakfast, or lunch, or dinner, or midnight....
Caramelized onions are delicious, I've never had them for breakfast but that wouldn't stop me.
The doneness of bacon is totally a personal preference.
And the toast being on a separate plate... strange hill to die on.
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Weird right?
These beans were so good. Sauted some tomato paste, harissa and garlic in butter, then added the beans and reduced to get a thicker consistency. Finished with woster sauce, balsamic, and more butter emulsified in.
Can't eat like this too often but man was it good.
mumbolt3@reddit
I just thought you just opened a can of Heinz beans and warmed it up, that's some next level beaning bro. 😲
iamnotacrazyperson@reddit
A friend of mine once made a two plate breakfast like this. His marriage ended a week later.
FrankSonata@reddit
I always thought a full English breakfast was basically the quintessential fryup. And Wikipedia confirms that "fry-up" is another name for "full English breakfast". If anything fits that sub, this should.
Also that looks fucking incredible.
friedpickle_reloaded@reddit
Only straight-up gross part to me is ketchup on the eggs (at least I think that's ketchup?). Everything else is awesome. Maybe a little more browning on the bacon and sausage, but that's my only small critique.
Ok_Scientist_2762@reddit
In the Boston area, you have to hunt and pay extra for this, and the portions are nowhere near this size. We call it a "Full Irish Breakfast"
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
There's an Irish pub down the road from me that does something similar and it comes with 3 pints. Costs $40 though.
selfintersection@reddit
Three pints for breakfast. Fuckin hell.
Highsnberg91@reddit
Yeah should be 6 minimum to be considered a proper Irish
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
I think we could be friends
buttfartsmagee@reddit
skip lunch type of breakfast
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Didn't eat breakfast. Had this for lunch. Pear for dinner. Lol.
kahran@reddit
I live in the Midwest. A Full English Breakfast is on my bucket list.
I will need to travel.
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
I'm sure you could find a decent one in an Irish pub. If it has Black Pudding it's probably legit.
InSearchOfTyrael@reddit
it is
Key_Phrase_8149@reddit
That looks so good
Ok_Television9820@reddit
Well, that glorious repast doesn’t belong here either. Keep looking!
lentilsenthusiast@reddit
I, too, like to roll my sausage through lukewarm fat excactly once and call it done. NOT!
floshady@reddit
Looks good! It could be posted to r/decentfoodporn
Acceptable_Candle580@reddit
They're right. Why didn't you cook your sausages?
ThePennedKitten@reddit
Uncultured swine. Even my American ass knows what this is lol.
Murderphobic@reddit
I would request this as my last meal if I were on death row. Don't listen to the critics.
Pretzeltheman@reddit
Dude, seriously? I'd kill for a full English that glorious right now! That's freaking awesome!
CFADM@reddit
Mmm those white chocolate chip chocolate cookies look really good!
/s
spookydooky69420@reddit
People are so nitpicky. I think it looks great.
Asio0tus@reddit
that looks amazing. with a pint of cold beer = pure bliss
Breaking-Who@reddit
Yeah English breakfast always looks gross. Like the rest of the food over there.
Opposite_of_Icarus@reddit
Out of curiosity how much of this do you actually eat? Because I couldn't finish even a quarter of that!
Jaren56@reddit
Was about to say, that's like 2 and a half meals for me lol
Looks delicious though
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Ate the whole thing. But it's the only meal I'm gonna eat today.
Opposite_of_Icarus@reddit
Ok that's fair enough then lol, and honestly while it doesn't look like food I'd enjoy, I don't think it looks bad
elliot_ftm_@reddit
They're right
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Open to criticism that isn't "Onions don't look pretty" and "Why isn't your toast on top of everything else getting soggy."
elliot_ftm_@reddit
The bacon is still oinking
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Fair enough. Need to get me some chefs presses. Was curling up and cooking unevenly.
Acceptablepops@reddit
Very English breakfast
SalPistqchio@reddit
Not in the least shitty. Doesn’t belong here.
Main_Ad_5147@reddit
I would absolutely crush this breakfast!
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
Was fuken amazing.
automator3000@reddit
I enjoy an English breakfast.
But I also enjoy being able to move without sharting, so I’ll have half of that.
MrCockingFinally@reddit (OP)
This did me basically the whole day.
zkribzz@reddit
Fuck FryUp then
I_might_be_weasel@reddit
https://youtu.be/EHIHl8Rw6W8?si=_xPwaI-6bekF49aY
CancerBee69@reddit
Nah man, that looks proper decent.
kairoscuro@reddit
i would tear this up right now.
Doctor_Saved@reddit
That looks decent.