Pay investors with pizza parties and T shirts.

Posted by Pale_Aspect7696@reddit | CrazyIdeas | View on Reddit | 15 comments

Instead of paying investors dividends when the company does well, we give them pizza parties, fun sized candy bars and cheap t shirts with, "best investor ever!" printed on them.

Then we give the money we saved to the employees.

If investors complain, accuse them of being ungrateful and tell them that they, "Aren't really helping the company that much" and that, " if they invested even more money in the company there MIGHT be a little bonus for them at the end of next year.".....and then the time comes we give them a $5 gift card to Starbucks.

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Ateist@reddit

Nobody pays dividends nowdays, companies have long switched to shares buyback that allows investors to evade taxes.

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Pale_Aspect7696@reddit (OP)

So if I switch my idea to share buybacks you'd be onboard? Yes? It might be crazy enough to work!

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Ateist@reddit

How, exactly, do you plan to buyback shares with pizza and T shirts?

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Pale_Aspect7696@reddit (OP)

If companies think that employees will buy into working hard for the company for pizza and tshirts instead of meaningful raises/bonuses for their hard work (which is a major contributing factor to creating the money) then it should also work as motivation for investors who moved some money around so the company could make more money.

We could do it another way too.....workers and investors all get a pizza party and no one gets the money! I mean, nobody is motivated by money right? Who needs it?

Here's the craziest idea......we give a meaningful amount of money to the workers AND we give money to the investors too! We could forget the pizza parties and SHARE the MONEY instead! On second thought, no. I think the workers would rather have a pizza party as a reward for working hard and increasing profits for a company year after year.... It's too crazy.

I mean, this is the crazy idea sub and you're talking with some guy on the internet. I gotta be 45 years old, at least 350 pounds, unshowered and sitting in my parents basement and never had a job in the real world. I have all the answers to all the worlds problems!

Go ahead, ask me another one! I got all day! (obviously) =)

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Ateist@reddit

You get your money worth.

You give your worker a $20 pizza - he works harder for an hour.

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DegreeAcceptable837@reddit

I worked at a pizza place, and someone ask owner to sponsor an event, so he give either monie or pizzas and few months later they give us about 20 new t shirts from the event

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NiceTryAmanda@reddit

you guys are getting tshirts?

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LJski@reddit

I get the attempt, but it fails. You work to get a salary that is agrees upon in advance; whether or not the extras you get are additional motivation or not is certainly up for debate.

Investors have given money for one thing…a return on their investment. Maybe pizza parties and tee shirts help keep them invested, but just like you would stop working if you did not get paid, if they did not see a return on the investment, they would bolt.

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aarkwilde@reddit

Maybe let them know how great the company is doing all year, and then send them a negative review and hope they invest more the next year.