What age will I stop telling my son to go back to sleep and start telling him to get up?! š
Posted by Cornishlee@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 223 comments
My 6yr old is slowly breaking me with sleep deprivation torture at the moment with a delightful 05:50 start to the day!
It got me wondering, at what point does the balance shift from having to tell him itās too early to get up and to go back to sleep, to having to ask him to wake up cause itās a school day?
Is there a sweet spot in the middle where everyone is waking up naturally and happy, like the eye of the storm?
gagagagaNope@reddit
Rules, and not stupid ones he can't keep.
If he's away and stuffed with energy, he ain't going back to sleep.
Get him a clock - we started with the groclock when he was 2 (simple colour change) then he learned 7:00 on his yoto player. We also got him a lamp he could turn on for playing.
Before 7 he can go to the toilet but otherwise stays in his room and plays.
Choose quiet toys!
99% all works great unless he's ill/nightmare.
As others have said - consistent bedtime (We never used to do this, but did it to give us time). We also found it made no difference to his wake up time if we out him down at 7 or 8, so 7 it was. We then eat and have ourselves back by 8 (he eats at childcare in the week).
Kian-Tremayne@reddit
There was no sweet spot for my older daughter - it was a binary switch in her early teen years from āup at the crack of dawnā to ācannot be shifted from her bed even with dynamiteā
Her younger sister is now in her teens and gets herself up and ready at the appointed time every day. Not sure if sheās consciously doing it just to be different from her sister or what, but Iām not complaining.
butwhatsmyname@reddit
I think it's wild how different siblings can be - and how few parents seem to... allow for that?
My sister and I were polar opposites in every way (so much so that we gratefully stopped communicating when I left home and have contentedly left things that way ever since) but our parents just couldn't get their heads around the idea that we weren't interchangably the same.
We didn't like the same things.
We didn't like the same hobbies.
We had totally different kinds of friends and social lives.
Our habits and routines were totally different.
We behaved totally differently at home. I was a "shut myself in my room and cry" kid and she was a "screaming tantrum on the living room carpet" kid right up till her early teens.
We were so different in school that nobody even knew we were related.
We didn't even like the same foods and TV shows.
And yet we were "the children" and children all behave the same way and do the same things as far as our parents were concerned. We were constantly compared to each other and it definitely shredded any pale hope of us ever having a meaningful relationship.
I do wish my parents' attitude had been more like yours. "I don't know what's making them so different, but it's not causing me a problem so it's fine"
boosie-boo@reddit
I have twins. They have had exactly the same life, same opportunities, same bedroom, same experiences and they are completely opposite. Always have been. I have one morning person, who struts past me on the way to the bathroom with a āmorning Mummyā this morning she added āIāve had a lovely nights sleepā. Her sister literally has to be gently woken from her bed with hugs and kisses or 20 minutes of her favourite songs before she opens her eyes. Iām just glad I have one that makes mornings easier.
Kim_catiko@reddit
I find this so sad! I know you obviously don't mind, but I couldn't imagine not being in contact with my siblings.
butwhatsmyname@reddit
I think for us it was always going to be a relief. We loathed each other growing up and I think that if we had met under any other circumstances in life we would have had no interest in one another/actively disliked each other.
Imagine a work colleague that you find frustrating and tiring, and then imagine being forced to share a tiny house with them for more than a decade XD
Astro-Butt@reddit
My youngest was a 5-5:30 wake up until age 6 and then immediately turned into needed to be woken up every morning
Both_Lawfulness_9748@reddit
My 6yo has never slept more than 4 hours in a block, 5:50 sounds like luxury to me!
busbybob@reddit
My kids were always great at bed time, literally fall straight asleep, but up at 5. It took till age of 5 with my boys to sleep in till 7, 4 with my girl.
Groclock didn't work for us although ill admit we probably could have given it a more meaningful try outside of plugging it in
gammonlord@reddit
5:50 sounds like a perfectly reasonable time for a six year old to wake up assuming they're going to sleep at a reasonable hour (before 9pm).
Maybe you should try going to bed earlier so that you're well rested enough to tend to them when they naturally awaken, rather than projecting your own sleep schedule onto them.
Weaubleau@reddit
11 or 12
jelly10001@reddit
I remember as a young kid I used to drive my parents crazy getting up early (I didn't even intend on waking them up, I'd just go downstairs at 5am and start reading aloud or putting a video on), Well, eventually when I was 4 my Dad installed a babygate on the stairs. At 7am each morning he'd open the babygate, let me go downstairs and then he'd go back to bed. Then I had to amuse myself until my Mum got up (either by watching TV, a video or reading, although one time I tried to put a video on unsupervised, I stuck my favourite Rosie and Jim video in the the wrong way round and all the tape came out). Oh and I could get up earlier than 7am if I wanted to,, but I had to sit in my room reading in silence, I wasn't allowed to do anything that made a noise.
FantasticWeasel@reddit
My nephew (8) woke his dad up at 3am last week to ask him what his favourite letter of the alphabet is.
bigredsweatpants@reddit
This is like my 5 year old. Gives no shits about a light on a clock. Few weeks ago he crept in, woke up Dad and whispered ādaddy, can you show me a picture of a swordfish on your phone?ā š¤£
Bishop_BathandWells@reddit
Have you tried a groclock, they sound stupid but mine knows they canāt get up until it turns yellow.
Once you have that controlling wake up time, train the child by shifting the wake up by 5 minutes each week.
No-Character-8553@reddit
I second growclock. Set it to 6 then, when stays in after 6 gets small prize for 1 day, then has to do 2 days in a row then 3 days in a row. Eventually keep setting it further back.
Norman-Wisdom@reddit
My daughter's wake up time has been creeping earlier and earlier recently. Really hoping this gets her into an acceptable rhythm again!
No-Character-8553@reddit
Positive reinforcement goes a long way at about 4 onwards. My daughter started to drastically improve when they were old enough to understand if they complete a goal they get a prize, then just increase the goal.
Norman-Wisdom@reddit
She's just turned 3. She used to wake up at 9. It was a problem because we regularly missed classes etc. then suddenly it was 8 which was perfect. This morning she woke up at 6:30!
If it gets any earlier I'm drugging her.
3Cogs@reddit
Clocks go forward in a few weeks time. :-)
Norman-Wisdom@reddit
Oh wow just seen the date! An hour earlier on Mother's Day is harsh!
No-Photograph3463@reddit
You can blame Christianity for that! Mother's day is the 4th Sunday in Lent so moves around, whereas the clocks always change the last Sunday in March.
_whopper_@reddit
Itās not Christianity to blame - Motherās Day is different in other countries with Christian heritage.
EmbraJeff@reddit
Christianity is just a tribute act of a smorgasbord of occultish superstition (think the disturbed idiot love-child created by the union of Sunday Night at The London Palladium and a travelling circus for bible-thumping god-botherers) from around the globe, the laziest cult everā¦nothing original to confuse the brainwashed masses!
Norman-Wisdom@reddit
Isn't it only that because of the pagan festival that came before it though? IIRC Easter was tacked on to it to keep it familiar to people and help it catch on.
3Cogs@reddit
I think it's because Easter is based on the Jewish Passover festival, which runs to a lunar calendar so it moves about with respect to the solar calendar.
Passover occurs on the 14th day of the Jewish month Nisan. It is always a full moon, so if you observe the full moon in the days around Good Friday, that's the actual date
Source: Was brought up as a Jehovah's Witness and fed loads of useless info like this.
Remarkable-Wash-7798@reddit
Reddit: the start of "how can I get my kids to stay in bed" to which religion is to blame for the clock changing on mother's day.
LEVI_TROUTS@reddit
That's the thing (for some reason I can't reply to the previous comment). But that is a very normal sleeping routine. The days get longer and ours are waking up 5mins earlier each week, have been for a while. Soon, it'll be 7am instead of 6am and they'll be sleeping in until 7.30am instead of 6.30am, and that will come with its own issues.
AubergineParm@reddit
Lol my mum just loaded me up with phenergan when I was a kid š
Ah. Different times.
GrandAsOwt@reddit
Grit your teeth for another three weeks and the clocks going forwards will help you out.
Remarkable-Wash-7798@reddit
I third groclock.
My two went from an unruly any time between 4:30 - 6. To a constant 7:00am.
Also bed time is consistent, which is half the battle.
Cornishlee@reddit (OP)
Iāve toyed with the idea of these through the years. Maybe this year is the year I click the button on Amazon. Maybe one that has the time though as he can do that now. He just chooses to ignore it ha ha!
The other night he woke me up to ask to go downstairs at 23:30. That was a fun conversation!
mightydistance@reddit
Iāll probably get downvoted to death for this butā¦parents have gone through this for hundreds of thousands of years. Itās part of having a kid. Donāt listen to technologists and reductionists wanting you to digitise your kid, turning them into some kind of robot tuned to a lamp. Reddit has to be the worst place for parenting advice in human history.
MrB-S@reddit
What other innovations should parents shun because those that went before them for hundreds of thousands of years struggled through?
Running water? Electricity? Clothing? Medicine? Housing?
mightydistance@reddit
Things like running water and clothing are not solutions proposed by hypertechnologists on Reddit. But sure, put your kid on an iPad all day because they will be distracted and not bother you. Yay technology, why experience any kind of difficulty? Why shouldn't we embrace it if it exists, right?
joapet@reddit
Since when is a digital clock in the same category as an iPad?
The suggestion is to teach them the concept of time, not shove an iPad under their nose the moment they wake up.
Then_Consequence_500@reddit
I think at 6 heās getting a bit old for gro clock. We used digital clocks for both of our kids so they were aware of the time. They donāt need to know how to tell time but also helps learn. We had the rule that they werenāt allowed out of bed until the clock starts with a 6 and werenāt allowed out their room till the clock started 7.
My son is an early bird and would get up before 6 everyday if you let him and my daughter has to be woken every day.
Cornishlee@reddit (OP)
Yeah Iām leaning towards a digital clock. He can tell what the time is already, even if he doesnāt know quite what that means in context yet. Iām pleased that he can so maybe a digital clock is a good step.
shutupspanish@reddit
Real talk - my eldest (nearly 6) has a Yoto player in his room, it has a digital clock and the added benefit of keeping him entertained if heās awake before we want him to get up. You can set volume and brightness limits that lift whenever you decide ādaytimeā begins so he can listen to stories quietly early in the morning and I get a little more sleep..
bluejackmovedagain@reddit
I'd suggest you also put together a small box of quiet non-electronic toys for next to his bed. It will be easier for him to stay in bed if it feels less restrictive. You want to balance it it so they aren't toys that are really stimulating so he knows it's still quiet relaxing time.Ā
animalwitch@reddit
Maybe you're putting him to bed too early?
underwater-sunlight@reddit
My daughter has similar. She can get up at 6:45 but sometimes she wakes up after 5 for a wee and often doesn't manage to get back to sleep - she is quiet though so I can get a bit of a lie in at the weekend (usually up at half 5)
spectra39@reddit
Growclock didnāt work for us. My son wakes up anywhere between 5am and 6am every morning, and either ignores the Growclock, or manually changes it himself to yellow so it looks like itās Ok to get up! So very frustrating.
GreenStuffGrows@reddit
Your son is very intelligent š
gi1o83@reddit
My daughter was the same. Wanted to punt the Groclock out the window after a few months!
Eve_LuTse@reddit
Smart kids are the worst! š
butwhatsmyname@reddit
It's kind of cool that he's hit that developmental point of reasoning and deduction. "I'm not allowed to get up till this is yellow. [Makes it yellow]. Hooray!"
I love watching the way a kid's brain steadily figures out how the world is pieced together. They learn a rule. They learn how to follow the rule. They learn how to examine the rule. They learn how to step around the rule.
You've got a future lawyer on your hands there.
Jeb2611@reddit
If you press and hold the down arrow, it locks the buttons.
confused_each_day@reddit
Children can also learn third one simple trick!
Far-Sir1362@reddit
Kids content tomorrow: "Parents hate this one simple trick!"
confused_each_day@reddit
I really did. My kid was 3 when she figured it out. And was waking up at 0500 most days, after broken sleep.
Sheās older now and has chilled out a bit but she was a compete agent of utter chaos those first years. Routinely lost her in the park, found her dismantling stair gates/inside cupboards, the works. So many of those ābaby proofā gadgets, she found workarounds.
shutupspanish@reddit
My (chronically early rising) nearly 6 yr old knows 7am is the āwake upā time but that just means he storms into my bedroom at 07:01 saying āyou should be up now!ā
mike9874@reddit
We have one for each child. They know they can't go downstairs until it wakes up. Doesn't stop them from coming into our room whenever.
SunSimilar9988@reddit
Did not work for my boys.
Eve_LuTse@reddit
Never heard of it, and thought it was some sort of handcuff (groc lock)!
Whulad@reddit
What time does he go to bed?
Cornishlee@reddit (OP)
About 19:30 - 20:00 during the week so standard kid bedtime.
726wox@reddit
Have you tried simply a 21:00 bedtime?
Cornishlee@reddit (OP)
āSimplyā doesnāt work with kids! And 21:00 isnāt late for a 6yr old generally.
726wox@reddit
Fair enough! Personally bedtime is always a pain trying to get them down in time so moving it back worked for us and led to them waking up later.
But also we lived abroad where everything was later so it all worked out
foreverrfernweh@reddit
That's way too early lol that's why they're getting up too early!
Cornishlee@reddit (OP)
Itās not too early, kids go to bed around that time generally. They might not like it but they need sleep otherwise they are ādifficultā!
textboy@reddit
Parents complaining in this situation is always bizarre to me - of course he's going to get up at 5am! It's already 9 hours??
Are you expecting him to sleep for 12 hours straight, or what?
seenyourscars@reddit
Toddlers need around 12 hours of sleep a night? So yes?
macoafi@reddit
A 6 year old isnāt a toddler.
hitiv@reddit
not a parent yet but surely this is dependent on each toddler? if ops child has slept for 9 hours already and is constantly getting up way to early for op then maybe they have had enough sleep and should probably start going to bed later...
3xtr0verted1ntr0vert@reddit
This kid is 6. That isnāt a toddler.
textboy@reddit
A normal amount of sleep for a toddler is 9-12 hours - including a 1-2 hour nap during the day.
That's for a 2-3 year old, too. People in here talking about 5-6+ year olds.
Entire-Wash-5755@reddit
I remember my mum putting us to bed at 5.30pm and being cross when we got up at 5am. She expected us to sleep until 8am. Then the lazy cow never got up with us either and I remember being starving. It is mental how much she expected us to sleep. Expecting 15 hours sleep is just delusional or very, very thick.
LJ161@reddit
When I was a kid my mum would put a 'picky plate'in the fridge covered in clingfilm with some snacks on it so when I woke up earlier than her I could go to the kitchen on my own and get my plate out and sit in front of the telly watching cartoons.
fivebyfive12@reddit
Mine is 5.5 and I somehow have to do both š¤£
Bforbrilliantt@reddit
Don't have kids but I'm thinking around 12? I have a pm shift anyway so teenagers would suit my sleep schedule.
Nedonomicon@reddit
I used to just get up and drink coffee while we watched the aquabats and street sharks :-)
6 am is a lie in
Sorry-Badger-3760@reddit
My six year old is still waking up regularly before 6am. I'll let you know when it stops. His four year old sister avd older brother sleep in an extra hour at least
Adept_Roof_8556@reddit
30
Beautifully_TwistedX@reddit
Not until my daughter started secondary school did I have to fight her out of bed ... so 11 (she also has adhd though so she's a rocket)
When puberty hit it was fab. She started napping when she was tired rather than fighting it. And still sleeps the night even if she's napped after school.
She even slept in till 11.32 one Saturdayš (lest we forget) š
Mystic_Farce@reddit
We taught both of ours to tell the time on a digital clock fairly young. They could get out of bed to play quietly at 6.30am and come to us at 7am. We adjust the come to us time at the weekend!
Special_Touch_9090@reddit
My son was a terrible sleeper but he is 8 and now will sometimes stay in bed until 7am! Feels weird to be celebrating but after 7 years of 5.30 wake ups it feels like a luxury. My eldest is 13 and I have to wake her up so i reckon you have a good 5 years in the sweet spot!
Similar-Weather-8940@reddit
I should think at 6 he can be told to read and not make a noise or disturb you until a set time even if he is awake?
HarrynwJ@reddit
You've clearly never encountered a 6 year old
Capital_Lynx_7363@reddit
Ours climbs quietly into our bed when he wakes up and then proceeds to try to tickle you. It'd be cute/endearing if it wasn't so fucking early
therealhairykrishna@reddit
Our 5 and 7 year old are up at 5.30am at the weekends but have to be roused from their beds at 7am for school.
Fireynay@reddit
My daughter is 9 and I'm currently living through the worst of both worlds. On a school day, trying to get her up and ready is draining. She hates getting out of bed! It's not school because she's fine once she's up and she loves school.
On the weekend, she's up at the crack of dawn and wanting me to be up as well! Sometimes I'm able to negotiate a lie in with her, but not always. I also have to get up at 7 to let the dog out and give him his breakfast, so if she hears I'm up, I've had it! If I manage to sneak past and she stays asleep long enough for me to get back in bed, that's when I sometimes get the extra couple of hours.
KeyLog256@reddit
My question, I'm surprised no one has asked yet, is what time you're putting him to bed?
If it's say, 7pm, no child needs 12 hours sleep so he's bound to be up and full of energy that early.
Me and my sister regularly used to wake up and be downstairs watching kids TV at 6am, because we'd been put to bed at around 7pm.
This argument/discussion still comes up now between me and my mum, even in my late 30s and her 70s, because I still maintain that forced bedtimes for kids aren't healthy.
Sure, letting kids stay up until 1am playing computer games or browsing mindless shit online isn't good (and letting kids online unsupervised in general isn't good), but if they're consistently not tired until 10pm and making a massive fuss about going to bed when not tired, as I did, then getting up at 6am, you need to switch things up. You chose to have children, you can't just turn them off and pop them in a cupboard of an evening, and it's not like me and my sister were loudly demanding attention anyway, we'd happily entertain ourselves, and this was before we had a computer or any games console.
This is my general thinking about parenting btw, not aimed at you personally OP - I don't know the context in terms of when you put him to bed.
tomahawk66mtb@reddit
My son is 5... During the night it's "go back to sleep" in the morning on a school day it's "com'on get up please!"
Elysiumthistime@reddit
At 6, is he not old enough to get up on his own? Assuming the house is child proofed of course. I have vivid memories of waking up early when I was around that age and tiptoeing down the stairs to watch cartoons before my parents woke up. If I woke them up they'd get us cracking on chores and I hated that so I made sure to be extra quiet. I think they were secret geniuses actually for convincing me that waking them up early was a bad thing for me, not them lol.
macoafi@reddit
What time do each of you go to bed? If heās in bed at 8, 5:50 is almost 10 hours of sleep already. If youāre in bed at midnight, itās just shy of 6. Maybe your bedtimes need to move closer to each other?
notabovver@reddit
Put them to bed later, dont be strict about bedtime.
Rumhampolicy@reddit
My brother had a digital clock in his room. He wasn't allowed to go downstairs, etc, until he saw number 7.
Working_Bowl@reddit
My son turned 13 a few months ago, and slowly, very slowly there are mornings creeping in where I have to wake him up. Tbf, our mornings are early and itās usually 6.45, but itās never been something Iāve had to do before. My 9 year old daughter on the other hand always needs to be woken up.
annedroiid@reddit
Wow a lot of these comments are very rude. Yes we all know things could be worse but itās not a competition. OP is allowed to be tired from their situation.
autobulb@reddit
I'm just curious what this has to with "the United Kingdoms life and culture" which is what this sub is for. I don't have kids and even I know that every parent from every culture faces this issue, it's nowhere near being unique to the UK.
annedroiid@reddit
No idea, hence my suggestion to post in a more relevant sub š
Cornishlee@reddit (OP)
I havenāt seen any that I would call rude but thank you. People have different perspectives on anything and everything in life. Thatās fine. Iāve had jobs in the past that have got me waking up at all sorts of times and I did permanent night shifts fixing trains for 6yrs so Iāve got some experience with unusual times to do stuff!!
Being woken up multiple times throughout the night and being forced to get up early all the time does have its effects though.
Waking up early once is easy!
annedroiid@reddit
The ones I saw at first seem to have disappeared thankfully.
Yeah itās really the multiple wake ups a night that get you. And then even when they do sleep well your body has been trained to only sleep short periods š
dinkypaws@reddit
I was so sure you'd written:
"permanent night shifts fixing trains for 6 year olds" there.
Lack of sleep breaks everyone's brains, I think.
flitzyfitz@reddit
Have you had him checked for adenoids / tonsils / allergies if heās still waking up through the night, otherwise it sounds like heās not tired enough and he needs to go to bed later?Ā
PantherEverSoPink@reddit
r/ukparenting
annedroiid@reddit
Thank you I didnāt realise there was a UK version of it. Never sure whether to put Uk at the beginning or end š
williamshatnersbeast@reddit
First day on Reddit? If someone makes a post and puts it out to the great unwashed then they have to expect a full spectrum of answers, which is actually a healthy thing. People are free to respond how they please, especially if their lived experience doesnāt always match with what theyāre responding to so that OP gets different perspectives. Thatās what opens up a healthy debate rather than an echo chamber. OP is also free to ignore things that arenāt useful to them. If they want some comforting then Iām sure Mumsnet will oblige.
Thereās some serious answers in here as well as people pointing out that 0600 isnāt so terrible and, of course, thereās some vaguely ruder stuff as itās Reddit. But I hardly think you need to be white knighting on their behalf. Iām sure OP can find relevant subs if they need to and maybe thereās a reason they posted it here insteadā¦
With folk like you over on that other sub then itās likely an echo chamber of āso sorry to hear that hun xā or, looking at your reply, judgemental people with a condescending tone who only agree with people when they subscribe to their point of view.
Hailreaper1@reddit
Christ. Most uk subs are some of the worst echo chambers on here. No one gives a fuck if you have kids, in fact you not having them disqualifies you from the question. Your opinion literally does not matter here.
The person is asking what age their kid will switch from one extreme to another. No one cares you work shifts, no one cares you donāt have kids, no oneās asking if you or the other smooth brains think six is bad or not. Theyāre asking when other parents noticed a shift.
Plantain-Feeling@reddit
The get up you're late phase starts at around 12 and ends anywhere between 18 and 30
Snaggl3t00t4@reddit
I'll 5th a groclock. Really works, I'd also try some pavlova type training..if you only get up when its yellow well go to the park, pancakes for breakfast, 10 more minutes screentime...whatever works so they associate that behaviour as being good...
rdxc1a2t@reddit
2 and a half years in and there's rarely a day where I'm able to get up past 6am. Love the little lad but it's killing me. Not waiting for the day when he will wake up later, just the one where he will be able to entertain himself for a bit without me needing to get up.
Goldf_sh4@reddit
My teenage son can sleep to 2pm/3pm/4pm!
peachK82@reddit
So my 6 year old is awake by 6am and Iām just not getting up at that time. We leave his breakfast stuff out so he goes downstairs and makes his breakfast and watches tv for a bit or plays until we get up. Heās a really sensible kid so we feel we can trust him. Weāve been doing it a while now and itās been bliss! Plus he loves the sense of independence itās given him, and Iām a better parent for a bit more sleep!
buckwurst@reddit
11 ā 13
Gauntlets28@reddit
I think he's now reaching the age where you can allow him to get up early so long as he's quiet while everyone else is still in bed. Between about the ages of 7-11, used to love getting up early and watching cartoons on my own while my parents were in bed, especially on the weekends. Can't imagine anything worse nowadays, but hey, that's just how being a grownup is!
Theroosterami@reddit
My little non-sleeper is about to turn 13 and still wakes up at 5/6am every day
TheSecretIsMarmite@reddit
In my experience, around the age of 10. However, YMMV.
Palsta@reddit
My step sons were like this when I first met them, up at silly early o'clock. The first Christmas was really funny. After they'd gone to sleep, we went into their rooms and offset their clocks by 2 hours.
They woke up at their normal Christmas Day excited time, saw it was "3am" and decided that was too early. Stayed in bed for another 2 hours and were both really happy they'd woken us up at "5am" for presents.
Cue puberty and you couldn't shift them out of bed with anything.
stillanmcrfan@reddit
My son is now just 7 and I have been telling him to go back to bed for at least 6 months if not a year now. Sometimes he goes back to sleep and sometimes he doesnāt but he knows heās not allowed to go downstairs and put the tv on until half 6.
AttersH@reddit
iPad is your answer š I might not win parenting the year but Iām not tired, so swings & roundabouts. My early riser gets her iPad from 6am-7am and only at 7am is she allowed to disturb us. Her iPad is heavily restricted, she can only watch CBBC or Disney+ between those hours. And to be honest, I used to get up early & watch cartoons on the TV downstairs when I was her age & I turned out just fine (I think..) š
himit@reddit
At 6 he's old enough to make some cereal and watch TV for a bit!
I've always lived in quite small flats, but from the age of about 3 I would get up with them, help them in the toilet, then get them set up with breakfast and a movie and head back to bed (door open). The 10 year old is fully independent in the mornings now, the 5 year old will ignore the toilet and needs to be served breakfast (though I'm teaching him to make toast) so still needs a bit of help, but I can set him up and then go kip for an hour.
It's a good low-risk way to encourage a bit of independence, and it gets you a bit more rest which helps you to be a better parent. Assuming you don't live in a mansion and won't be able to easily hear them if something goes wrong.
countrymouse73@reddit
This. Weekdays weāre up by 6am anyway, but on weekends weāve told the kids to let us sleep and they can entertain themselves until 7.30am or so (thatās a sleep in for us). From the age of 5-6 they are perfectly capable of turning the TV on and getting themselves a bowl of cereal. We can hear if thereās a disaster. We even taught them to use the coffee machine so they can make us a coffee.
Aristophania@reddit
Is there a reason why heās walking you up? We just set up a snack and some Lego for my son (same age as yours) and he gets up and does his thing. He knows weāll be up soon and if thereās any issues he can come and wake us. Thatās happened maybe once?
ChameleonParty@reddit
Itās just starting to happen for us now. 11 yrs old. Sorry OP, a way to go yet!
countrymouse73@reddit
Ours is 11 and the change happened in the last 3 months. Previously up at 6am without fail, now I get told on Sundays ādonāt wake me up banging pots and pansā and I have to wake her on school days. The 8 year old is still up at 6am but he just turns on the TV and gets himself a bowl of cereal. I would think a 6 year old can entertain themselves for an hour or so? Quietly wander to the lounge and pop on the TV?
rawcane@reddit
Stop telling him to go back to sleep 7
Start telling him to get up 11
You get about 4 years of calm
BowlComprehensive907@reddit
My son was crack of dawn for years. Nothing worked. We tried a Gro-clock, but it didn't really change his sleeping patterns.
I think he was about 8 when it started getting better, and 11 when he was reliably getting up at a "normal" time.
He's 16 now and has recently switched to proper teenage sleeping patterns of struggling to get up for school and sleeping till mid-morning at weekends.
Geek_reformed@reddit
We used the Yoto player in two ways. It has a night light on it that changes colour when it is "morning" (you use the app to define the colour and the time) and by saying if he woke up before the light had changed colour, he could listen to a story on the player. I worked most of the time!
However, I'd say from about 7 onwards he would sleep till about 7. Now (at 9) it varies day-to-day, sometimes we have to wake him and other mornings he's sat up in bed reading. At weekends he gets up solo, makes himself a bowl of cereal and watches some TV, however after years of getting up with him I rarely sleep beyond 7am anyway - still it's nice to be able to doze a little at the weekend and not have to be up watching CBeebies.
Miss-Hell@reddit
Has the bedroom got blackout blinds? And I mean where it makes the room completely dark with no light coming in?
That made a huge difference for us. If there was a slither of light, child was up at the crack of dawn. With complete blackout they would sleep until midday if I let them.
SuspiciouslyMoist@reddit
About 12 for my son.
After he finished his GCSEs last year, my wife and I were both out at work and I returned home around 6pm to discover that he was still in bed, fast asleep.
West-Ad-1532@reddit
Not really no... I had one who was a routine sleeper and one whose routine was irregular....
My two are teenagers now, and they don't come out of their room till gone 5 pm on a weekend. They can sleep for England..
Number60nopeas@reddit
My nieces are 7 and 4, they have an alexa in their bedroom, they have an alarm set on it for the mornings for school, and if they wake up before the alarm they just ask alexa what time it is so they know wether they can get up or go back to sleep.
TRDPorn@reddit
13
Calm_Wonder_4830@reddit
Just get a normal clock and colour in the hours red, amber, green, and tell him he can only come out of his room when the hands of the clock are in the green! He can play quietly in his room if he wakes up between red and green. Simple and clear.
Resident-Staff-1218@reddit
Get some black out blinds
bartread@reddit
Probably around 11 - 13. My brother went from up at 5 - 6AM every morning to won't be seen before lunchtime unless dragged out of bed almost overnight.
To be fair I was the same and I've never really snapped out of it even though I'm now in my late 40s.
jondazeridesagain@reddit
My son pretty much went from up at the crack of dawn to wont get his arse out of bed every morning by about 10 years old.
jilljd38@reddit
Honestly it depends on the kid used everything I could find with my eldest to get him to sleep later than 5 am nothing made a difference even now at 23 he still gets up at 5 am even if he doesn't need to , my 15 year old has to be dragged out of bed if he was left alone would sleep till 3/4 pm
Super_Ground9690@reddit
My kids are 6 and 8, and for the last maybe year everyone wakes up between 7 and 7.30 and itās an absolute dream. My oldest occasionally needs to be dragged out of bed if sheās been reading under the covers too late but itās been a while since anyone woke me up before Iām ready.
So they do get there, but I guess the when will depend entirely on the individual child.
pikantnasuka@reddit
Between 11 and 14 or so
Ruadhan2300@reddit
My parents simply made it a rule, I wasn't allowed to come bother them until after a certain time in the morning unless it was an emergency. (I'm hurt, the house is on fire, etc)
With that in mind, the choice of what to do between Oh-God-Thirty in the morning and Wake-Mom-and-Dad-o-clock was in my hands, and usually I would stay in my room and play with Lego for a couple hours, or even go back to bed on my own.
Solved this problem pretty effectively I think.
BubblegumBelles@reddit
Ah, the sweet spot is more like a myth, isn't it? One day you're begging them to catch a few more z's, and the next, you're dragging them out of bed for school. Enjoy these early bird moments because soon you'll be on the flip side, wondering why your teen won't see daylight before noon! Hang in there, it's all just phases and coffee... lots of coffee.
Durzo_Blintt@reddit
Is it a phase though? Ever since I was about 13 I've struggled waking up before 11 am. It never got any easier and I'm 35! I have to use two alarms to ensure I'm up for work... One is across the other side of the room. Doesn't matter whether I go to bed at 7pm or 7am, same shit. I've been scammed.
newtonbase@reddit
My 16yo didn't sleep through until her brother was born. He's now 10 and he still doesn't sleep through the night and he gets up at 6ish. I've been sleep deprived since I became a parent.
Fattydog@reddit
I donāt want to come off as rude but you typed this as if it is out of your control. It isnāt, unless theyāre neurodivergent. Once theyāre not babies you can surely teach them to stay in their rooms til a certain time?
Just get something that lights up/switches off at a certain time so they know itās OK to get up.
confused_each_day@reddit
Iāve always really disliked the idea of making kids stay in their rooms, alone, once theyāre awake. What makes it a good option?
We have an alternative that MY room has the sleep hours and doesnāt āwake upā until 7- if they want be before then, then itās sleepy cuddles. Or they can go downstairs themselves. But Iām sleeping.
It just didnāt feel right to control their movements when the actual issue could be solved by controlling mine.
---Cloudberry---@reddit
Yeah, this is what we do. My kids are allowed to get food, entertain themselves quietly etc - itās our room theyāre not allowed to come make loads of noise/chat. It works for us.
Even with neurodivergence at play, sleep can be managed so that parents can get a break. Just work with everyoneās needs and neurology. Neurodivergent kids still need to learn to be considerate and some basic manners, and not to wake people up unless itās essential (helping them judge āessentialā might be the tricky part).
Kittygrizzle1@reddit
My ND kid would sleep until 9 or 10am. Even as a toddler. NT kid woke up at 5.45
annedroiid@reddit
Saying that doesnāt make a comment any less rude. If you think itās rude and donāt want to be rude, donāt say it.
Up_The__Toffees@reddit
You sounded a bit rude there
newtonbase@reddit
We believe they are. My daughter was tested and it was negative but her teachers are convinced the result was wrong. Girls especially mask well.
confused_each_day@reddit
Oh good lord because of course all children are the same and can do the same things at standard ages.
My youngest has just got to the stage where she will go downstairs without me. Sheās 7 and itās great.
But we also still cosleep. Left to herself she will not sleep through the night.
And Iāve always really hated the idea of teaching the kids to stay in their rooms until a certain time. It would definitely not work well for mine. Instead they have free run of the house. Gets me an extra bit of sleep-l but probably would not work with all pre teens.
r_keel_esq@reddit
By six, he should be able to get up and turn the telly on himself - the day my son figured out the remote control was one of the best days of parenthood. A cheap LED clock in him room might also work - tell him he's not allowed to leave his room until the first number is 7 (this worked for us quite well)
To answer your main question - for us, it didn't really shift until adolescence. He stopped getting up piss-takingly early by the time he entered school, but now he's a teen and he'd sleep till 14:00 if he could (I'm not jealous at all)
willo494@reddit
5:50? Lucky you
terryjuicelawson@reddit
Mine are 9 and 13 and need getting up / alarm for school. Weekends is OK as they can go down and sort their own breakfast. That was really the key, even if they did get up at 5:50 it is on them to deal with it rather than me. Bedtimes naturally getting later helps. 6 is probably a little early for that, I forget. The next step is when they are older and sleep in too long, start to wonder what is going on if it is the weekend and it is after 10 and they are still snoozing. Used to hate that as a kid, I just wanted my lie in!
Koholinthibiscus@reddit
Ultimately every kid is different so Iām not an expert here but a groclock worked for us but weāve had it since she was very little. She was clearly awake but then when the clock turned yellow sheād shout āOlly is awaaaaaake!ā And jump out of bed (it came with a little story book with an owl called Olly) on the very rare occasion where she does get up too early (sheās 7) we just tell her to go back to bed or go read/play in her room. We have to tell her to get out of bed for school but sheāll get up herself at the weekend around the time she should be getting up for school. Once theyāre more cognisant that will just present other difficulties ha!
Ok_Sand_7902@reddit
My step kids always woke us up at 5-5:30 am with āIs it morning yet?ā ā¦. Did the same ( one time only) when they were sixteen šš¤£šš¤£ they didnāt think it was funny ā¦..š
AffectionateFig9277@reddit
Sorry if I'm being ignorant but why should you have to wake up if he does? If he's 6, can he not just play by himself a bit until the day actually hits?
FelisCantabrigiensis@reddit
Teens.
Child sleeping patterns change in their teens where they get up later and stay up later.
DeinOnkelFred@reddit
If male child, 15.
The sweet spot is when he leaves, only to come back on weekends to get his laundry done, kiss his mother, and steal my whisky.
No Oedipal issues in my house!
Stuffedwithdates@reddit
The Teens is when the body clock shifts
Thelichemaster@reddit
Dog crate at night?
newsignup1@reddit
I set an Alexa nightlight to show different colours depending what time it was I said if you wake up and it is red you need to go back to sleep if it is Green you can get up and go downstairs.
I was in awoken at 2 am to the sound of my child saying Alexa turn the night light green then went downstairs and started watching TV
Big_fat_frogg@reddit
Clever child haha!
SunSimilar9988@reddit
Twins boys, up every day at 520.
Doesn't matter when they goto sleep either, 7, 8, 8:30 is latest I tried so far.
They are 7
DameKumquat@reddit
I was having to scrape my son out of bed by age 8. I suspect reading in bed was relevant.
Daughter is still on the 'stay in bed until 6am or at least don't wake me' rule as a teenager.
Scarred_fish@reddit
To be fair, 5:50 is a pretty spot on time to get up. Plenty of time to enjoy the morning and so long as you're not silly late to bed, enough time for a good 7-8hrs sleep.
oddsock87@reddit
5:50 isnāt exactly early?
If you go to bed at 10 youāre getting nearly 8 hours sleepā¦ how much do you need?
Cornishlee@reddit (OP)
You are either not a parent or have a very different parenting experience to mine. Or, you have been conditioned by your kid to think that 05:50 isnāt early! Imagine telling someone in their 20ās that they have to get up at 05:50 when no one has to leave the house until 8am and see if they find it early! Same thing applies when you are in your 40ās as well!
oddsock87@reddit
Parent of 2.. 9yr old and 5yr old. 5yr old wakes up at anywhere from 6-7am each day.. but given that I go to bed at 10am, Iām already awake as Iāve had sufficient sleep.
Imagine thinking as an adult that c.6am isnāt early. Itās a normal time to get up.
lj523@reddit
I definitely don't miss this phase! With my step son he only stopped waking us up when he worked out that he could get up as early as he liked if he was quiet and went straight downstairs. Fortunately he kind of figured out an internal judgement of how early that should be to avoid getting in trouble (between 6.30 and 7). He's 11 now and still gets up early!
captain__pugwash@reddit
5:50 thatās blissā¦ for us our 5 year is up between 04:30 and 5ā¦..!
Yorkshireteaonly@reddit
If you put them to bed later do they still wake up at that time?
captain__pugwash@reddit
Unfortunately so, weāve tried 19:30, 20:00 just nothing improves. Room has black out curtains etc.
Luckily now we have a deal sometimes with him if he seems a bit hyped (we donāt point out to him) weāll stick to the routine and say if he wants to stay up and play after he can, he will do this for a max of 10 mins traditionally then take himself off to bed with said toys in there too.
---Cloudberry---@reddit
Half an hour is nothing, especially for one night. If you really wanted to try it Iād go for at least an hour and give it two weeks. That could be hell though and obviously eats into your own time so Iām not pushing it.
At the moment my kids go to bed a bit later and get up just on time for school. It works for us but I donāt get any real evening time to myself it feels like.
PerpetuallySouped@reddit
That's insanely early, no wonder they're waking up before dawn.
spectra39@reddit
You have my full sympathy as this sounds very much like my 4 year old son. Wake up time for him is 5 - 6 every day (today about 5:20). Even if we put him to bed an hour later for example, it wonāt make any difference to when he wakes up. It also makes no difference whether or not he has napped in the day. We also have black out blinds with curtains as well- doesnāt matter! To be fair, when he does wake up, he does play in his bedroom, but unfortunately I can hear everything- my new alarm clock is the noise of searching in a Lego box, or playing with plastic toys hitting plastic toysā¦
captain__pugwash@reddit
Likewise, at least spring summer is coming so the mornings will be more bearable.
We tried a glow clock but he learned to cheat it. Nowadays he lays in bed shouting āitās morning timeā.
I donāt mind it as long as heās in a good mood because on occasion he wakes and is a right old defiant grumpš. The thing is our son does long days three days a week, 08:30 -18:00 with a walking bus either way to school from breakfast and afterschool club so youād think this would helpā¦
captain__pugwash@reddit
Lighter evenings and lighter mornings are coming so fear is facing me head on soon š
captain__pugwash@reddit
Also goes without saying, all kids are different and thatās what makes them their own character. Take the rough with the smooth :)
Cornishlee@reddit (OP)
Jeez, ok. Thatās rough. Is that consistently? Or does the lack of sleep at least build up to an eventual longer, well needed sleep? š¤š»
captain__pugwash@reddit
I would say 80% of the time, for the reminder it is always by 5:50. We notice as he gets closer to half terms itās the later as heās clearly getting exhausted.
To put it in context he has always been an early bird, we used to struggle to get him to bed and even when he was a baby we would literally do 4 hour shifts with him sleeping on us or drive the car to make him sleep. Those days were horrendous. Selfishly from us this was a mental struggle like most especially lockdown that we chose not to have another, just couldnāt go through that torture we endured again š
The thing that amazes me is how heās raring to go from the off. People say oh put them to bed later this and that, it doesnāt work so we have always stuck to 7pm heās asleep, routine starts at 6 with bath, games, stories then bed.
---Cloudberry---@reddit
I know quite a few parents who are āone and doneā because their first was a sleep terrorist. I donāt blame you at all. Itās not selfish. Youāre already maxxed out/know what you can handle, itās a wise decision not to take on extra.
bofh000@reddit
Yes, delaying the bedtime only prolongs the struggle time because they get cranky but still donāt want to sleep.
Itāll get better :)
Flapparachi@reddit
Iāve been sitting in Reddit since 5:40ā¦some of us never grow out of it!
gameofgroans_@reddit
lol saaaaame but you can bet as soon as my alarm goes off in half an hour Iāll be ready to fall sound asleep again
Flapparachi@reddit
lol, thatās rough!
Pattatilla@reddit
4.30 for me. Why does our body clock do this?!
Flapparachi@reddit
Apparently Iāve been this way since I was a baby, and we often have the family conversation about nature vs nurture - I come from a farming family, so we donāt know if itās habit or we are genetically predisposed!
volunteerplumber@reddit
It is 0753 right now and my 2.5 year old daughter is still asleep. Earliest she wakes up is around 0700, but that is rare.
---Cloudberry---@reddit
If itās seasonal, blackout blinds may help in spring/summer. I think the grolamps or smart bulbs help too.
My kids are a bit older, with them itās (generally) linked to how late they go to bed. So maybe move bedtime back by an hour (I understand you may not want to since thatās a compromise the other end, and it doesnāt work for all kids).
We make sure they have easy foraging snacks within reach, drinks and expect them to entertain themselves if they wake up early. My parents used to make me stay in bed, especially stepfather who didnāt want kids up and about when he was getting ready for work. I really resented it.
secretvictorian@reddit
5:50am! Oh man oh man, our eldest used to wake us at 4:00am for a few years. for the day. Nearly killed us!
We ended up letting him watch cartoons in his room so we could sleep until the wonderful hour of 6am.
Remote-Pool7787@reddit
Heās 6. Why is he waking you up as soon as heās up?
spiders_are_scary@reddit
My mum used to put a cereal bar/fruit out for us and told us to do something quietly (or face her wrath ) until 8am. So colouring, watch tv, reading.
Sea-Still5427@reddit
At 6, he should be old enough to understand that everyone else in the house needs their sleep. Tell him if he wakes early he can look at a book or play quietly with toys in his room till say 6.30.Ā
Make sure his room has curtains or blinds that block the light well. You could also try moving his bedtime back by say half an hour to see if that makes a difference.
Lodahnia@reddit
My wake up time is 6.00 and I donāt have any kids so maybe Iām not the best to comment butā¦ 5.50 is not that bad a time to wake up?
Cornishlee@reddit (OP)
Ha ha, all about perspective I guess! Imagine having to get up at 05:00 then when you donāt want to and having to be responsible right off the bat. And having to do that a few days in a row. It all adds up.
williamshatnersbeast@reddit
So you mean, like having to go to work? For the record, I work shifts (my choice so no complaints) and sometimes I have a week of 0230 alarms. Some weeks I donāt get back until 0300 and the mixture of start/finish times disrupts circadian rhythms badly. I donāt have kids but I do have a busy life around those shifts (again, my choice - no complaints) so itās not as if Iām getting loads of rest to make up for it. Cumulative fatigue is horrible and no amount of sleep catches you up. Full rest is all that helps and even then itās well known that shift work reduces life expectancy because of the toll it takes. Sometimes Iām working off 2-3 hours sleep.
To be clear, Iām not comparing me and you because thereās other variables I donāt know about you, for example, how often you get disturbed in the night, do you get to bed at roughly the same time every night, etcā¦ If you go to bed at 2200 and donāt get woken up until 0600 thatās over and above the recommended amount of sleep and doesnāt sound unmanageable. Anyway, however it pans out, if youāre struggling currently I do hope you get some respite at some point.
Cornishlee@reddit (OP)
Ha ha. I appreciate your honesty!
Suspicious_Ad5045@reddit
Yeah it's the sudden 0 to 100. No time to run your eyes or stretch, just get up and go.Ā
SeanLOSL@reddit
What is your question? If it wasn't a bad time ā for them ā this wouldn't be a post.
People are different.
Accomplished-Kale-77@reddit
When I was a kid it was an almost overnight switch for me, when I was younger I often got up at half 5/6 every morning even on weekends, then when I hit about 15 years old I struggled to get up and feel human before 9 am š
seven_green_toes@reddit
Probably the funniest 1st world problem i will come across today 5.50 lol. Maybe go to bed earlier if you need more sleep. 5.50 is not early for a 5 year old and not early for the bulk of the country who have to get up amd go to work.
Intelligent_Cut2426@reddit
Why don't you just say you hate your life, especially your job?Ā
seven_green_toes@reddit
This is the joy of social media. You have completely misinterpreted the angle i was going for and made your own poorly judged assumption. I am happy and content with life helped by a good work/life ballance job that pays me well. My response was a bit of a dig at the op who thinks they have a hard time having to get up with a child. Now take a deep breath and relax.
Own-Gap4395@reddit
05:50 is a perfectly reasonable time to get up.
The_Salty_Red_Head@reddit
Around the time they start secondary school usually. At least that has been the way with all my 3. All 3 were non sleepers as babies and toddlers. I ended up in a real bad way as I have no family and no support system.
Now? I can barely get them out of bed. Good luck, Mama. You got this.
TSC-99@reddit
It gradually improves as they get older until they donāt get up until 2 by age 16.
Wiltix@reddit
My 6 year old has a Yoto player which has a groclock function. She knows when it shows the sun she can get up.
Also handy because if she wakes up 30minutes before it changes she can lie in bed and listen to an audio book for 30 mins before getting up.
Westy668@reddit
How dark is the room? With ours as the mornings got lighter they would wake earlier and earlier. Close fitting blackout blinds and blackout curtains saved us!
focalac@reddit
Iām 45 and regularly get up between half five and half six. Good luck.
WoeUntoThee@reddit
We use a clock that turns yellow (he can play quietly in his room) then green (he can get up and see us). This has been a huge help
Fattydog@reddit
My son was a child in the 90s. We used a plug-in nightlight and a timer plug.
He knew that while the nightlight was on, he had to stay in bed.
Worked a treat.
hotdamn_1988@reddit
yes my friend has one where birds tweet, when the birds stop tweeting she can wake the parents up. she plays in her bedroom until the tweeting stops. it works!!!!
WandaWilsonLD@reddit
My 7 year old daughter (who is both autistic and epileptic) has had sleep issues for pretty much her whole life. She used to stay awake until 1/2am. I'd wake her at 7:30 am. for school. I think you just have to try and let them wear themselves out. It's horrible laying awake and your brain not shutting off. I'm awake anywhere between 4 and 6 am. without an alarm clock.
copypastespecialist@reddit
My oldest is 8 and sleeps til half 8 if left on a weekend, he always loves sleep. My youngest is almost 5 and will go to bed easy at half 7 but be up at 6 every day
WishItWasFridayToday@reddit
I still do ot and they are 21.
The_V8_Road_Warrior@reddit
Could be worse. My oldest is 5, and he only sleeps for about 3 hours
ejwestblog@reddit
5:50 is not too bad. I wake up and 6am anyway and don't have kids yet. If you go to bed for 10pm then you should be alright, no?
BenathonWrigley@reddit
What time you going to bed yourself to be feeling so sleep deprived?
Cornishlee@reddit (OP)
We go to bed generally around 10pm. Itās waking up throughout the night that hurts and getting up an hour or more before you want to knowing that thereās no one else to do it for you! I think itās called being a parent or something.
BenathonWrigley@reddit
Itās probably the getting up throughout the night thatās making you feel shit. 10pm-5:50am would be a decent sleep if not for that.
Feel your pain. Got two kids.
shredditorburnit@reddit
Depends on the kid. I got up at 6 when I was small, 6 as a teenager and usually around 3 or 4 am as an adult. I think I'm an outlier though, which I'm fine with, it's nice having the world to myself for a couple of hours at the start of the day.
kwakimaki@reddit
When he's about 27.
robrt382@reddit
I've always had to wake my two up, neither of them have hit puberty yet.
Bed at 7.30, then I'm waking them up at 7. Some of their friends are up until 10 at night.
This wasn't the case when they were babies though (just to provide some optimism into anyone having baby sleep issues!)
Rootvegforrootbeer@reddit
My eldest got up at around 5am every single day until the day after he started secondary school and then he would sleep in until 1pm every single day if he could. My middle child sleeps perfectly and always has done and then my 3rd child is almost 4 and is up at 10pm after being asleep for 3hrs and wonāt go back to sleep, he spends the night holding my hand and wow itāsā¦. Exhausting. Paediatrics have said he can have melatonin though just gotta wait for them to write up the letter for the gp š¤¦š»āāļø
barrybreslau@reddit
Teach him the time with a clock and show him that he's not allowed to get out of bed until it reaches 7. Ours has a reader and a comic to read in bed while they wait. Toilet obviously exempt from this.
Mediocre_Bridge_9787@reddit
5:50 thatās a late start. You should be happy itās so late.
Dog_Apoc@reddit
Around secondary school. So, good luck!
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