ULPT Request: I'll be attending an event where I'm going to run into my old manager who was a jerk. What can I say to get under his skin?
Posted by Zealousideal-State42@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 267 comments
A company I previously worked at will be hosting a large-scale event for partners and customers. The new company I work at is a partner, which is why I'm going. My old boss will be there, and we'll have to engage.
When I left the other company, my manager wouldn't even talk to me or say goodbye. He's extremely passive-aggressive and all talk. Long story short, I ended up leaving because he was a lousy manager, chickened out when it came to doing the right thing, and I fell on the sword. Odds are, he never thought he'd run into me again, so he treated me pretty poorly on my way out. I'd love to be able to say something that will make him realize he's an ass and get under his skin for a few hours...hell, I'll take a few minutes. Any tips or ideas?
Agreeable_Cabinet368@reddit
“Eyyyy.. How’d you go with the chemo?!”
“Err, what are you talking about?”
“Umm the brain cancer? Please don’t tell me that you were an asshole without having a legitimate reason for it…”
Sauce666@reddit
Or...
How did you know?!
Why would you tell everyone here like this?!
Runs away in horror.
Still revenge! 😎
unicornikate@reddit
You’ve aged like milk as expected
Hey Bob how are you? Still living the dream tormenting your employees?
TheShortWhiteGiraffe@reddit
Thank you for teatching me the importance of good management.
ErthBound94@reddit
Open arms to hug while calling him a name that is close to his name, but not his name.
ichosethis@reddit
I was going to suggest the similar name thing, maybe ask if they got promoted to the position they held when you worked there last yet. Or ask if they ever got rid of the idiot that implemented something he was responsible for.
Wellycelting@reddit
It's Jess.
DB2k@reddit
To build on this call them buy one of their underlings you don't like and reminisce about how you always complained about that manager of yours that was an out of touch A-hole.
Two for one special!
d1duck2020@reddit
I was going to suggest that OP introduce themself to ex boss as though they don’t remember having met previously.
Emotional_Nothing_82@reddit
Or just start calling him Chachi.
Hot_Anywhere3522@reddit
After they tell you their correct name ,If they weren't the first manager at that place , you could add , you were the one that replaced (blank) right ?
F0rgivence@reddit
This is an amazing nail to add.
jesus_chen@reddit
Diabolical! Love it.
yojoerocknroll@reddit
oh hi Roberg!
dizkopat@reddit
Spill red wine on him. Pay a waiter 200$ to spill red wine on him
Purpleasure34@reddit
Ask how his wife is.
Jourbonne@reddit
Ask him to remind you what his name is.
ComradeYoldas@reddit
"Heisenberg"
GetchaWater@reddit
Call him the wrong name on purpose. Say it wrong multiple times. Pick a name that’s similar to his.
ggg730@reddit
And if he corrects you ask him if he's sure.
SixtyTwoNorth@reddit
Nah, if he corrects you just apologize and keep calling him the wrong name.
"Hi Bill!"
"It's Tom"
"Oh! So sorry, Bill."
mewthulhu@reddit
"You're fucking with me, right? Who'd name their kid that in this day and age, hahahaa! Wait, you're serious?"
ggg730@reddit
I will laugh at you a second time.
_Putin_@reddit
The Ron Swanson
GreenForThanksgiving@reddit
This right here.
akrdnk@reddit
This! If his name is Bob call him Rob, Mark now he’s Mike. Let him know that he’s so unimportant that you don’t even remember his name
MET1@reddit
And what is it he does? Can't remember. Wait, it was generating reports, right?
klaxz1@reddit
“Ah jeez yeah I misplaced your name… can you remind me quick?”
ShirtTdy_MusclesTmrw@reddit
This is good to an extent.
If you knew this person personally, pretending to not know their name will be obvious.
If this person was a higher up that you met once or twice, go all out (I don't remember you from my days at.
I know a few people that left my company unhappily, if they pretented to not know me, I would assume they are pretending (or they were in a bad accident and got hit in the head). On the other hand, there are some where I would be like, I get it, I barely remember you. On second though, this is bad advice, no matter what, you fit in one of these two categories. Pretending to not know someone places you squarely in one ore the other.
throwaway_fun_acc123@reddit
Or better yet if there is someone from the old company that OP knows the old boss doesn't like, call them their name
SecureSolution5866@reddit
YES
combat_lobotomy@reddit
Weird name but OK.
naviddunez@reddit
oh thats good
whatshouldIdonow8907@reddit
Just pretend you vaguely remember him from somewhere, can he please tell you where that was and have him tell you his name. Only in your dreams is he suddenly going to remember being an ass.
ECU_BSN@reddit
“I can’t quite place you…but you seem familiar?”
bigdrod68@reddit
Oh it's you??? You look so different. Don't offer any explanation as to what looks different, say that you just do look different.
notthatcousingreg@reddit
This is brutal.
mikemonk2004@reddit
Or make it a general explanation like "Wow! Sobriety looks great on you! Seriously, you look so much healthier than when I last saw you! I am so happy that you turned your life around!"
mephist094@reddit
Diabolical. I cannot come up with a good comeback for that that doesn't seem like you're trying to hide it.
Badnewzzz@reddit
Honestly I wouldn't give him the time of day, act like you don't know him and totally grey rock any attempt at conversation. You're not paid to talk to him anymore, so don't.....this approach is a clear message without being overtly rude.
Seeing you flourish will hurt him, all you got to do is turn up and live rent free in HIS head for a change 😉🤣
Klutzy-Spell-3586@reddit
“ Good God, you are aging horribly”
INSTA-R-MAN@reddit
I ran into one of my first managers who remembered me with more fondness than I did them. When asked if I remembered them, I had a deadpan look on my face and in a very flat tone said "Yes.". They got the message and left with a displeased look on their face. This manager wanted to fire me for theft when it was their drug buddy that was the thief.
babykitten445@reddit
No matter what you say, smile and be super nice and joyous. People hate seeing other people they don’t like succeed, so talk about great things about your new company, and how “things just make sense”. Don’t say anything outwardly rude, as burning a bridge can cause problems, but don’t overly befriend/be nice either.
NEALSMO@reddit
This is great. I would start the conversation by misremembering their name just to get under their skin before talking up how great everything is now.
veganloserr@reddit
make them have to realllly remind you who they are. make them approach first.
if they don't, after a long time, approach them and be like "i feel like ive met you somewhere but i don't know where" and when they remind you be like "no that can't be it"
Ill_Athlete_7979@reddit
“No that can’t be it, that guy was an asshole, you seem pretty cool”
Schmerglefoop@reddit
"no that can't be it - that guy was a jackass, and you seem so nice"
Top-Race-7087@reddit
“I’m sorry, what was your name again?”
planetalletron@reddit
“Hey Dot Com, it’s nice to meet you.”
babykitten445@reddit
this would make me spiral lol
JubileeSailr@reddit
Confidently call them the wrong name. I have a woman who gets under my skin named Trina. I call her Tina, but I say just off enough so she can't tell if I've said her name right or not.
themonicastone@reddit
This is one of my favorite passive aggressive things to do 😂
fl7nner@reddit
The Ron Swanson treatment
dixie-pixie-vixie@reddit
Like Alex vs Alec
EatSleepJeep@reddit
The best revenge is living well.
MoreReputation8908@reddit
“Well, there’s no chance of that.”
—George Costanza
NikonShooter_PJS@reddit
If Quentin Tarantino had taken your advice, Kill Bill would've sucked ass.
bignuts3000@reddit
Nothing would give him more joy than to see OP miserable, instead she’s flying.
original-name-taken@reddit
Also how great your new manager is.
charlottethesailor@reddit
I call this being "coldly cordial" Very polite.
Q-burt@reddit
I have two coworkers with whom I'm coldly cordial. I had one who asked why I hate her. I told her I didn't. I should have told her I "nothing" her.
themikeshow@reddit
Best revenge for most is to outearn them
SilentJerrySpringer@reddit
"Couldn't have done it without you"
charlottethesailor@reddit
LOL..yeah, I laughed.
ok-jeweler-2950@reddit
My divorce lawyer told me that the best revenge is moving on and living your best life.
LoudLudo@reddit
man this is ethical advice.
SweetKhorne@reddit
This! Most of the suggestions here will come across as transparent and scream insecurity. Just be happy and care-free. Be the best version of yourself. Nothing will be more infuriating
alexu3939@reddit
“I’m SOOO happy I got out of there” when talking about the last gig lolol
brownox@reddit
Everyone recommending acting like you forgot his name is really upping my social anxiety about forgetting names.
Illustrious-Gas-9766@reddit
You can also say "I didn't know that you were still working"
TheDanDangerously@reddit
"Heard about the allegations. Good luck with that!" Then you just walk away. Let them torture themself.
Phyose@reddit
Honestly, tell the truth in the most casual, matter of fact way. He can disagree the entire time, but you can tell him that he was a horrible boss and that you like your new job better. Wait until the end of the day too, that way there's no further engagement. No need to lie or pretend, because the things that feel the most harsh are the truth.
Wonderlandian@reddit
Ok honestly, the BEST thing you can do To get under their skin is just be confident, polite, and distant. Anything you say to intentionally get under his skin will just make him feel like the bigger person, and “prove him right” so to speak.
But if you barely give him the time of day, remain polite, distant- THAT will mess with him, really get under his skin, and make you live in his head rent free. You’ll be proving that he affected you much less than he thought with his petty nonsense and that will completely eat away at him.
thxsocialmedia@reddit
This. And act like you don't recognize him.
Sidewalk_Tomato@reddit
I have done this socially (not work-related) and it was as satisfying as hell. Didn't pretend to forget the name; just failed to acknowledge them at all. Just never got around to saying hi. Didn't wave. Didn't look in their direction.
DazzlingActuary4568@reddit
Personally I feel that's being avoidant and lets on that they still get under your skin
Sidewalk_Tomato@reddit
We'll have to agree to disagree. I won't explain too much, but that's not how it felt at all, it wasn't really purposeful at the time . . . just how things shook out. No regrets.
InspectorCarrots@reddit
Maybe even say you hardly recognized them? Implication being that they’ve gained weight or changed in some negative way?
_muck_@reddit
“I remember you taller.”
IronTriKev2010@reddit
“Wow, you really “bulked up”, good for you buddy”
big0moose@reddit
You put on a lot of mass!
InfoSecPeezy@reddit
No no no, you DO recognize them, but you call them by the wrong name, several times through the night. “Hey dicknose! It’s great to see you!” Then when passing them at the bar “wow virus, you look great!”
Keep changing their name too, and never break, even when they correct you. In fact, when they correct you, look them dead in the face and ask “are you sure?”
SpaceMeeezy@reddit
What if they just quit last week after working for the old boss for ten years lol
InfoSecPeezy@reddit
That makes it even better! How would you feel if you were met with an enthusiastic greeting with the wrong name after not seeing the person for a week. And then to take the time to correct them?!
It’s not saying “I don’t think about you” it’s saying “you are such a douchebag that I want everyone here to hear the wrong name and let it burn into their heads and address you as such forever.
charlottethesailor@reddit
Tears are running down my face reading this. Thank you for a great laugh!! I really needed it.
adudeguyman@reddit
"The name is Dickhead, not Dicknose you loser."
The_Wonder_Weasel@reddit
Must be dismissive on all of ex-boss' news or achievements.
ggg730@reddit
Yawn silently into your hand to be polite.
charlottethesailor@reddit
Or sniff your armpit.
Bindle-@reddit
Best advice right here!
If you do have to interact with him, act a bit symphatic too. People like this always want to be perceived as strong and powerful.
Say something about how concerned you were for him and how glad you are that he's doing well.
aseaaranion@reddit
I’m a somewhat similar situation I once did “Oh wow, you’re still in business after all! I thought I’d heard… Well, it’s good to see the rumors are wrong” in a very sympathetic sounding tone.
AliensCameOnMyFace@reddit
This but also call him the wrong name.
OhMyChickens@reddit
Every time you talk to him look at his hairline not his eyes, maybe furrow your brow a little with like a 'what IS that' look
Toastwaver@reddit
Have a coworker approach the two of you and ask, "So sorry to interrupt, but this PO requires like five levels of approval and you are the bottom line. Have a minute?"
Dapper_Translator855@reddit
Say you've heard about his recent diagnosis and that you are rooting for him. All things considered, he is looking remarkably well.
FutureLocksmith9702@reddit
Put finely chopped camel hair in his soup
jonjoe12@reddit
If you can talk to a collegaue that is stood next to him, it'd be great to drop in the conversation... "Well (bad manager) doesnt like his job/company anyway"
That'd piss him off and it'd be very difficult to repair the damage from.
Frequent_Beginning_4@reddit
Give 'em the old stink palm handshake from Mall Rats
Dudeus-Maximus@reddit
I had an old boss that fired me show up at an awards dinner (Maya Angelou, some lifetime achievement thing) for which I had edited all the videos and was seated as a guest of the award recipient.
So this old boss comes and sits at our table, says hello and starts going on about how great I am to the other people at the table. I just pointed out that this table was for guests of Maya, which he was not. He got the not so subtle hint and went away.
spaceporter@reddit
You could always fuck his wife in the coat room.
That_Account6143@reddit
What if she's a dog, is it really winning to fuck an ugly just to piss her boyfriend off?
nickkater@reddit
Or his dad
drone-on-and-on@reddit
Will his father be attending?
spaceporter@reddit
Save something for the funeral
BodybuilderOk2489@reddit
I've never heard it called that before.
Boots-with-the-feyre@reddit
This is the one, everyone else go home
Prinzlerr@reddit
Or the coat room, if that's your thing
Glowstickthrow@reddit
This.
jrabieh@reddit
Ome time I mistook an old manager I had some years ago for a lower supervisor and addressed him as such. Absolutely ruined his day.
XemptOne@reddit
if he approaches you to speak, just be like "im sorry, do i know you?" and then when he explains be like "i really dont remember you. maybe youre confusing me with someone else"... and keep playing that shtick...
bmanley620@reddit
Make very personal gifts for everyone you used to work with except him
Kind_Age_5351@reddit
Say nothing at all
AccomplishedIgit@reddit
Talk about how lucky you were to leave there and how your salary has doubled since you were there. His probably hasn’t.
fullbenchmode@reddit
None of these are unethical.
Act nice, act interested, act like it's all water under the bridge. Act like there's a job at your company he'd be perfect for. Get his resumé, throw it away. Wait a couple weeks, schedule a phone interview that goes amazingly well. Wait a few weeks, do it again. Lose interest.
SoupOrSandwich@reddit
Don't look at their eyes but rather like 2-3 inches above in the middle of their forehead. They'll be super thrown off and no one else would be able to detect it. If they act weird or make a scene about it, politely act surprised.
Zealousideal-State42@reddit (OP)
This is evil… Thank you!
Abe460@reddit
People like that don’t ever realize they are in the wrong. They usually surround themselves with people who perpetuate that view. Best to be polite. Be dismissive in interactions (as if someone else just caught your attention). Smile, be happy because you’re not beholden to them anymore. Laugh because the rest of the people are good and decent with a clean sense of humor. Network with the people there. Do these things because it’s helping you and it’s fun. Do not think about this person while doing these things. Think of how good you are doing. You will literally glow with confidence and everyone else will talk about your impressions to them. Other people are going to speak about you in a positive way to them. Then when you’ve nailed that… go home and attach his soul to the little doll you’ve been sewing and shove him in your ass.
Zealousideal-State42@reddit (OP)
The last sentence of this took quite a turn! Lmao.
Final_Lingonberry586@reddit
Just don’t acknowledge them? Let it go bro.
planktonstein@reddit
Channel Don Draper with “I don’t think about you at all” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSICYVGcGA4
MarvinHeemeyersTank@reddit
Just keep saying how everything is great and going so much better now, how happy and stress-free you are, etc.
KryptikAngel@reddit
Make them seem forgettable.
Ask them to explain any jokes. "I don't understand"
Kick them in the balls really hard /s
Blessing727@reddit
Tell him” I forgive you.” and walk away.
jaydawg_74@reddit
Tell somebody close by that people don’t leave bad jobs, they leave bad managers.
RabbidUnicorn@reddit
Start with “…the Jerk store called..”
0fCabbagesandKings@reddit
Call him the wrong name.
terence_huynh80@reddit
When you see him, ask:
"Wait...If you're here, then who's guarding Hades?"
ChocoTacoLifeblood@reddit
Is he married? Make little comments that make him suspect his spouse is cheating. "Hey, did Debbie mention I saw her at [xyz restaurant] a couple months ago. She looks great! Tell her hi for me, ok?"
duder777@reddit
“The best revenge is living well” this is so true. Show your ex manager how happy and successful you are by enjoying yourself and having a good time. Also if you want to be petty ask them to remind you of their name if you run into them as if they just weren’t important enough to bother to remember.
Whose_my_daddy@reddit
Act like you don’t recognize him
Bushid0C0wb0y81@reddit
Nothing. No overt recognition of his existence. Silence is the greatest expression of contempt.
NotTooGoodBitch@reddit
Is it worth potentially losing your new job over?
RunQuick555@reddit
When people like this find out you have been promoted to their same level you can observe some pretty interesting meltdowns and really bizarre behaviour - or stopping short of that if you say you've been backfilling a role temporarily at that level. Depends on how much he can fact check.
You can get right into the lie by talking about finding your managerial style and avoiding mistakes you observed from previous managers - great time to stick the knife in on any of his shortcomings in the nicest way possible. Or, doesn't even have to be that nice - depends on you as a person, I'm not very nice so it doesn't suit me to be overly friendly or polite, but it may work for you.
Rhinomeat@reddit
Smile and ask "Who are you?"
peterlall@reddit
"oh hey (incorrect name)! You're still around??!
Sergeant_fgump@reddit
Introduce him to one of your current coworkers: "This is the douche I used to work for" or when they approach you with a shit eating grin, say "eat a dick" and walk off. Get the upper hand and be confident, screw all this other PC bullshit.
JTEL918@reddit
Is this your wife? Funny, I figured you would be married to a (opposite hair color) the way he talks about and looks at (random woman’s name) in sales. It’s like you have a thing for them.
FreeRangeMenses@reddit
“Nice to meet you!”
hocknat@reddit
Ruin him psychologically!
IcarusForPrez@reddit
The old saying goes: A life well lived is the greatest revenge. Or something like that.
oldtruck@reddit
Say to him "John (or whatever is name is), I heard you died". Then when he says whatever he says, you say "Oh, thats to bad".
General-Royal7034@reddit
I have seen such bosses, and the best feeling was saying that life is much better in my new place and I that I am really happy that I am here.
Not in a way to complain about the last place. Just smile and be happy and say you are glad you left.
I met my old boss once, who was an ass. He asked me directly how much did I like my new department over his. I said it is significantly better and I love working there. He was visibly upset.
duhbiap@reddit
Tell him he looks tired.
RealityCheckOuts@reddit
Are you still there?????
_muck_@reddit
Say his name slightly wrong. “Forget” where you knew him from. If he has a date say something like “I thought you were still with Sarah, but this one’s lovely too.” Put a ton of lotion on before shaking his hand. Put glitter in his coat pocket.
spencerAF@reddit
You could publicly confront him.
Wait until he's in a group, walk up, call him by name, do some slight pleasantries and then address the issue you had when you left in front of people he presumably now works with.
torch9t9@reddit
Let him know how much better your life is now, that's all you need.
captn_sean@reddit
Tell them the Jerk store called and that they’re running out of him!
waetherman@reddit
“Oh are you still at xyz company? I guess you haven’t been able to move up yet?”
musesx9@reddit
Everything I ever learned in life and work I learned from observing and dealing with you. Thank you.
Responsible-Cow5828@reddit
Offer him a job.
csenjauneetblanc@reddit
Say hi to him and hopefully he asks how you are…Instead of saying ‘I’m good, how are you?’ say ‘I’m good, thank you!’…Odds are he will have this awkward little fumble moment, where he instinctively goes to reply to the question you didn’t ask…I do this here and there and it can be very satisfying.
ilovepadthai@reddit
Well ya. Uhmmmmm. I’m good too!
elite_meimei@reddit
And then you can raise your eyebrow and say, "I didn't ask."
justmedownsouth@reddit
Is your new company aware of this approaching situation?
Kitchen_Contract_928@reddit
Sorry, I didn’t catch your name? Pretend you’ve never even met the guy and don’t remember him- will drive him nuts
I-Am-Willa@reddit
Make it look like you’re talking about him and laughing whenever he looks over and recognizes you.
DowntimeJEM@reddit
Call him by the wrong name. Do it like twice in quick succession.
bermanap@reddit
Pretend like you don’t remember him
One_Visual8994@reddit
Rent a SUPER DUPER BALLIN ASS CAR from turo to take to the event. Not something obviously outside your means like a lambo or something but maybe a new Range Rover or an s class Mercedes or something. And then make sure they see you getting in it and act like it's just a Prius or something, no big deal. Even if they're not into cars they'll know it was expensive and you might make more than them
Sepiks_Syrinx@reddit
Maybe bring a friend as your plus 1 that looks 10 times better than you or your boss and then you can introduce each other like "oh hello ex boss! Hey, meet my gorgeous other half!" The same thing essentially happened to me one time when running into my a hole of an ex manager at a bowling alley. He was too drunk to understand what I was saying and I didn't have the time for his tomfoolery.
momo88852@reddit
Dude best revenge in this case is just smile and wave. Just talk big game even if it’s a lie. Dude gonna be jealous AF.
Heck it would be even better if you got someone higher up on this “prank”.
TasTerror32@reddit
Wait for him to approach shake his hand and say his name but give a little chuckle as you say it and then just walk on with a half smile like you found them amusing….
N8tron99@reddit
Css add lol him by the wrong name all night
Affectionate_Hornet7@reddit
I didn’t remember if you were a manager. Thought you were just bossy.
obsolete_filmmaker@reddit
Nothjng. Completely ignore him. If he crosses your field of view, look past him like you are seeing through a ghost. He. Simply. Doesnt. Exist.
This bothers people who think they are superior to you more than any words. And you win in the end because you put zero energy into engaging.
workitloud@reddit
Misremember their name. Tell them to put in a resume, as you’re hiring.
Telemecas@reddit
How's your wife and my kids
lonesomespacecowboy@reddit
As others have said, be a happy guy, while vaguely dismissive
Alternatively you could take him aside and say "I just want you to know that I personally have no problem with you being here tonight"
RIPdon_sutton@reddit
Get in a small group and talk "about him". Make sure one of the people in the group points at him. Then laugh. Heartily. Fuck decorum.
Gargravars_Shoes@reddit
It’s likely he’ll avoid you at all costs. It, if you do run into him say nothing but nice things - about your new job. Enjoy.
Dorsai56@reddit
"Have you put on weight?", especially if he actually has.
Design_Dave@reddit
When someone publicly shames you - or tries to be a jerk in any way - just say “did you mean to be offensive / aggressive / condescending?” Etc. when someone tries to do it as a joke, just pretend like you don’t understand and ask them to explain.
Outrageous-Ad-5983@reddit
Ask about people you know aren’t there any more. But make sure it’s in front of people. “OMG, how is Sam?” “Tom’s still there though, right?” “Man… I’m sure Cybil is still there? I mean, she was the one with all the gossip, place couldn’t run without her.” Very innocent, very social, but man does it show everyone else that this is a place people don’t stick around. It hoses down any sort of ego in front of said peers.
lilbithippie@reddit
Ohh so you're still there?
NewNameAgainUhg@reddit
Maybe ask for his name? Like you don't remember him? That will hurt his ego more than anything and show him that he wasn't important to you
billymumfreydownfall@reddit
Say, "where are you working now?" and when he says he's at the same company, respond with, "still?"
WilliamBoimler@reddit
The jerk store called, and they're running out of you
Jirafael@reddit
Have a jar of tartar sauce and accidentally spill it on him.
bazoos@reddit
Just make sure he knows you're making way more money than him now and doing really well for yourself, even if you're not.
dkmcgorry1@reddit
“Oh yeah, well the Jerk store called and they’re running out of you!”
WyoPeeps@reddit
Will any of your former colleagues be there? Try to be as friendly towards them as possible. Like the good old days. Keep telling them how much better you feel.
stevenmc@reddit
Even if they're not, tell him you still keep in touch with "lots of the old gang". He'll be afraid you're hearing what shit has been going on, and that you're head-hunting. Don't say any names though. Just that some of the old guys were super talented. Oh, and we're going through a bit of an expansion at the moment. He'll hate that!
airowe@reddit
"Did you ever get your kids back after getting out of prison?"
crawwll@reddit
"Fuck You" usually does the trick
JimmDunn@reddit
"hey, everybody, this guy just farted a wet one!"
"go change your pants, brownie boy!"
TotallyNotARobot2@reddit
Give him the cheese touch too
Hairymeatbat@reddit
That's going to itch when it dries.
FamilyGuy421@reddit
That is so immature. What are you 10yo. I love it.
Chili_Pea@reddit
Call him by the wrong name but make it close to his normal one. Like if his name was Bob be like “Hey Rob. How’s it going?”
Own_Significance7727@reddit
I would RIP of pants AND sho PEANIS !! SAY “Tag a lock at dis hog, jurfery!”
HallowedDeathKnight@reddit
I would not acknowledge I know him. If he persist, something along the lines of “Oh I sort of remember you, but not really.” Nothing feels worse to someone like that than to be forgotten.
amanuensisninja@reddit
In front of as many people as possible, “oh my god, for the last time, NO, you can’t suck my dick!”
Scrooge-McShillbucks@reddit
You find that thing I left in your office yet?
OrnerySnoflake@reddit
When you introduce him to someone put “manger” in finger quotes.
Challenge_Declined@reddit
If his boss is there: your boss and I had the most interesting conversation
AffectionateBrick687@reddit
Be overly chummy and clingy. It sounds like he wants nothing to do with you, so it will piss him off having to deal with you during the whole event.
gabroll@reddit
Mispronounce his name. If he’s Trevor say with full confidence, ‘Hey, great to see you, Travis!’ And immediately shift your attention to someone else as if it didn’t happen. The casual carelessness will bother him immensely.
Fuzzy_Fish_2329@reddit
Sneak up behind him and do a SBD fart, then sneak away. Then point at him from afar and yell “ahoy mateys” and everyone else will understand that he did it. You stay back so no one sees you.
BodybuilderOk2489@reddit
Give him some helpful advice about things he could do better at his job or improvements that could be made in his office.
Also will there be alcohol at this event? Don't get drunk and end up doing the opposite of what you were hoping to achieve. If you can, make sure his glass is never empty.
zanne54@reddit
Rave ecstatically about how great your new job is, how awesome the partner is, how management really fosters mentoring/career development and ethical growth. And wrap it up with "I have to thank you. When I was managed me into that dead end so I had to leave, it seemed like the worst, most unfair thing to ever happen to me. But now I see it was a blessing in disguise, because I never would have had all these fantastic opportunities open up for me!"
ApprehensiveChip8361@reddit
Just project confidence and success. Nothing is worse than seeing someone you dislike doing well.
Dhaupin@reddit
Ooze humor too... A confident, successful OP with a group of other confident, successful peers... And everyone is laughing. Young professionals at the top of their game. Unfeasible loft apartments. Cars they never drive. Studio audience laugh tracks...The whole shabang
Derksuofg1987@reddit
The jerk store called, they're running out of you
PrincessPindy@reddit
You still just a manager?
ClicheNerdy@reddit
Pull a Ron Swanson and call him by the wrong name.
Late-Mathematician55@reddit
I suppose you could drop a hint that you stole from the company under his watch. He'll spend the next month auditing your old work in futility
Signal-Zucchini2526@reddit
if it is relavent ... use the quote from Gordon Gecko in Wall Street II - Money Never Sleeps:
"you quit telling lies about me and I'll quit telling the truth about you"
formerlyknownasbun@reddit
More recently used by Kendrick in Euphoria “don’t tell no lies ‘bout me, and I won’t tell truths ‘bout you”
sitheandroid@reddit
I prefer the original in English.
camazotzthedeathbat@reddit
Ben Shapiro over here
NyneHelios@reddit
Shoooooooo
Shoooooooo
Shoooooooo
BE BE BE BE
SoMuchCrabJuice@reddit
WHAT IS IT? THE BRAIDS!? I hurt your feelings? You don't wanna work with me no more? Okay.
s2ample@reddit
You know what? Eat shit.
bluesgrrlk8@reddit
ew
evilbrent@reddit
I would say that a lot of the answers here are essentially dishonest. "Pretending to not recognise a former boss that you obviously do recognise" could be the plot for a Friends or Seinfeld episode - there are so many obvious ways for that to go south.
My vote goes for chilly politeness. You do remember him. And you don't remember him fondly. He does have a reputation, and it isn't a good one. He burned his bridges with you, no reason to pretend otherwise, and that's going to come back and bite him in ways he doesn't want to.
As a lowly engineer I've burned suppliers over the way the company rep treated me. There was this one guy who just loved to do that thing where he wears a chunky ring on his pinky and deliberately presses it painfully into your hand as a power play when shaking hands. Well all that got him was closer scrutiny from me and I stopped giving his company the benefit of the doubt - doesn't sound like much, but lots of long term suppliers don't realise they survive on their reputation for not fucking up supply more than whether or not they actually fuck up, and when that reputation disappears they get the full focus of supply chain. Companies who just tick along tend to just tick along, don't start none won't be none. Companies who have a dick for a sales rep get attention.
If OP is going to be the customer in this scenario, and Evil Boss is going to be on the vendor team, I personally think it's perfectly professional to say something like "this all sounds great, but I've got concerns about this vendor's ability to meet their end of the contract given what we know about Evil Boss's manipulative and dishonest reputation and he seems to be a big part of their team."
gazooglez@reddit
Midway through talking to him, quickly say “do you smell that?” then immediately keep talking about your original subject.
GoauldofWar@reddit
If you run into him, just call him by a girls name.
fbcmfb@reddit
“How’s the divorce going?” Loud enough that a few hear it.
You could be referring to your departure from the company- but more importantly others are able to wonder about it and him!
dave65gto@reddit
Ask him how his wife is while giving a shit eating grin.
Agreeable-Vehicle616@reddit
If my old boss tried to speak to me I’d say “nope you will not waste a single second more of my life, please walk away” otherwise I’d just nod and say her name per Emily post’s miss manner’s advice
jammerfish@reddit
You could slip him a Mickey
ShinKicker13@reddit
Sympathetic- are you feeling ok?
ramrph@reddit
Say something like “I feel blessed to be surrounded by so much talent in my new role”. It’s not directly insulting but it’ll create a mirror that might make him think your old job had less talent.
LilliJay@reddit
Oh wow, you've gotten OLD!
mdubelite@reddit
Nice to meet you.
ImportantBad4948@reddit
Physically fight him
pareidoily@reddit
If they come up to you squint and shake your head and say you don't remember them.
deftoner42@reddit
When you see him, ask his first name. Say you never actually knew it, he was always Mr. Xxx.
That may be impossible if you clearly knew it. In that case you could always call him a similar wrong name - if he's Tim, call him Tom. Mark/Mike. Bill/Phil. Bonus points if it's not even a similar name like Steve/Richard
Jirafael@reddit
Honestly, I read all the responses here but if it were me I’d call him a wimp and he sure as hell won’t forget that when he’s going to sleep tonight.
Necessary-Egg8683@reddit
The best revenge is living well
Charakada@reddit
Tell him he looks tired and ask if he's ok. That always works.
Still-Show4536@reddit
I’d go for a name similar but not quite right and with confidence. If his name is Scott, call him Steve etc
jrgman42@reddit
Act like you barely remember him. Get his name wrong in front of others. Make sure everyone understands your brief time with him was inconsequential
HopefulAd7290@reddit
My mama used to say the more you stir a 💩the worse it stinks. Be the bigger person. You will feel better for it. ❤️
bestuzernameever@reddit
“Kick me” sign stuck to the back never gets old.
GenericHuman-9@reddit
Pretend you don’t know them.
burrheadd@reddit
Hit in his O’lady
pinkypowerchords@reddit
The best revenge is living a good life
freedinthe90s@reddit
Call him the wrong name as you turn to talk to someone else.
“Nice to see you again, Joe!”
“It’s John.”
But you can’t hear him because you’re already talking to someone.
AnastasiaNo70@reddit
Oh my God I almost didn’t recognize you! Have you gained weight? Or…been ill?
Jcdoco@reddit
"pleasure to meet you"
effurdtbcfu@reddit
I like the suggestion to pretend not to recognize him at first, you can even drop a backhanded compliment here like "Oh I didn't recognize you at first, did you lose some weight?"
But when you "recognize him" (better in a group setting and not 1-1):
First talk a lot about how great the new company is, how responsive and engaged management is etc. Do not talk down about the old place, he'll get the picture. If you got a promotion at the new place and are at or above his level now def let that slip. If your new colleagues ask who he is, just say you used to work together, not that he was your boss.
Then say "hey Old Boss, are you still the XYZ Manager (his position when you left)? Oh, that's great, that's great."
Let him know he's a loser for being stuck in the role without saying much.
Ecstatic-Ostrich6546@reddit
Act like you don’t remember him.
RealHek@reddit
He might ask "how you doing!? Long time no see.."
Tell him how amazing everything is, how the new place is just so supportive and what a difference it makes when somewhere is run from a kind place.
Then add the "extra money and better hours don't hurt either... Hahaha" and "no, honestly... I could not be happier. How about you? Thinking of moving?"
Longjumping-Neat-954@reddit
If you got a new position at your new company business cards with your title on it especially if it is a position you didn’t have with his company.
Just_Here_So_Briefly@reddit
Ignore, ignore, ignore.
SecureSolution5866@reddit
borrow or buy a knock off Porche keychain and somehow let him see it.
cShoe_@reddit
A #1 hair, makeup and outfit to the 9s. Big smile. Exude confidence. Plus any of these funny swipes from the other posts.
nigmondo@reddit
Stride confidently up to him, lean in and whisper into his ear... ur a dick!
Then just walk away smiling
Zestyclose-Cap1829@reddit
Introduce yourself as if you don't know him. When he reminds you who he is say "Oh, STEVE(or whatever his name is), of course. Sorry I didn't recognize you, you've......changed." while glancing him up and down with a faintly puzzled expression. The long pause makes him think you're trying to come up with a way to say something politely that would normally be impolite. He'll spend hours and hours over the next couple of weeks trying how he changed that was so bad you don't even want to mention it. He'll think about every single imperfection he perceives in himself. He'll drag himself through hell and you don't have to do anything. beyond shake his hand and smile at him.
DaLurker87@reddit
If you really wanna get at home maybe "the best revenge is living well", but you'd prolly wanna do this near the end.
BriscoCounty-Sr@reddit
Nothing fucks with people more than when they meant so little to you that you don’t remember them.
Beast6213@reddit
Call him by the wrong name. Confidently.
arm_hula@reddit
"You still [x] everyday?"
purplecalculator10@reddit
Look at him and then ignore him. Or better yet, look at him and then flip him off ;)
uusseerrnnaammeeyy@reddit
https://youtu.be/LlOSdRMSG_k?si=a4W4pUR6OVW1feLG
Jinn3tonix@reddit
If he tries to approach you, dismissively say “sorry I don’t have any change” then walk away. Works for me
Ill_Hall9458@reddit
“Hey!! I totally spaced your name my bad but how are you?!” Then they will say their name and you can make a minute of confident small talk and be on your way. Could be an option. Might depend on how long ago it was you left.
kraegm@reddit
I’d talk to someone else you know within earshot and when they ask how the new job is going rave about the culture and the support you get from a manager that knows how to manage people. Say it nicely without implying anything else.
chroni@reddit
Old boss, "Hey. How's it going?"
You, "Now that I have a mentor things are going excellent!"
revdj@reddit
You will never make him realize he is an ass. If that is your goal - you lose.
Get under his skin... What is the most awful thing he did that you can summarize in two sentences?
frankydie69@reddit
I did this to my old boss and I hella forgot we left on bad terms.
“Hey Dan! How’s it going?” Him: good. “Yea man I’ve been good I’m working at the hospital, got a new car a few months ago.” He was visibly annoyed lmao
I was just trying to have an innocent chat with him and then after he walked away I was texting my sister about it (we both worked for him) and she was like “you actually said hi to him after what you said to to him before quitting!?” My eyes went wide at that one I hella forgot lmao
And for the curious I just told him to “get fucked” after some back and forth over scheduled shifts.
gh0stp3wp3w@reddit
not sure what level of professionalism and sociability you want to maintain given idk what industry you exist in.
you could do the classic - meet and greet everyone in the vicinity and snub him after staring into his eyes. if anyone raises issue, calmly explain you lost all respect for him and prefer not to signal otherwise.
you could opt for a meet and greet and give them a "HOW THE HELL YA BEEN?" where you feign camaraderie and appreciation - kinda pull him in for a close embrace where you whisper that you think hes a fucking coward piece of shit or whatever you wanna say.
idk man - i told my last manager what i thought about him to his "face" over the phone since the bitch wouldnt give me 5 minutes IRL to talk to him.
throwaway_fun_acc123@reddit
100% big up the new company in his presence
''Oh the leadership team here is so supportive''
''It's such a joy to be working with this company, I've never had so many positive experiences or opportunities''
''since starting to work for this company I actually like getting up and going into work''
Odd_Trifle6698@reddit
Do small little cuts and then get a metal file to work them under the skin
DanFrankenberger@reddit
Just say everything you want to him but in a “really nice way”. Make sure others overhear you so he cant twist words.