Is it acceptable to request time off work following a breakup?

Posted by oxy-normal@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 26 comments

As the title suggests, I recently broke up with my partner of almost two years last week. I know it’s for the best but I just feel totally lost. Thought going into work today would help take my mind off it but I honestly couldn’t focus on anything or get much work done. We’re still staying in the same house so I have a lot to consider in terms of living and financial arrangements. I’ve thought about going to the doctors and getting a sick note but in all honestly I don’t think I need a prescription for anti-depressants (been down that road before). I just need a few days to figure out what my next steps are. For context I work in an office and we are very stretched at the moment but the show would go on without me if I was to miss a few days, I’d just feel like I’m letting my team down in terms of targets and deadlines that won’t me met in my absence. Any advice, words of encouragement or humour would be much appreciated.

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26 Comments

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ScallionOk6420@reddit

Uh yes, if it's your annual leave. Otherwise no.

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Colourbomber@reddit

I honestly think it's acceptable to have time off for almost anything (within reason) at most places..... The problems arise when people already have an issue with attendance and or lateness or just constant problems. Used to have a young lad work for me and he was brilliant with his attendance didn't matter if he had been out on the sesh the night before he was always in and always put a shift in. He was mad into his gaming and one day he just said I'd like to take 2 days off and play this new game that's just landed, he didn't lie and told me what he needed the time off for, I think it was one of the call of duties at the time. I said no problem and he took 2 days off to play his game... Life doesn't stop because you work and I knew how important it was to him....didnt matter what it was because of the 100s of days I needed him and he was there. If he had missed work all the while and been late regular and it was just problem after problem it would have been "you can do one kidda" A break up can knock you off your feet for sure so as long as you are pretty conciencous and keep good attendance I'd personally have no problem giving you the time off....i know how hard it is to work with your head up your arse anyway.... And am most everyone has been there at one point or another

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oxy-normal@reddit (OP)

Thanks, I think that’s my mind made up, I’ve only had 2 sick days in the past year, always on time, and I know that my boss appreciates that I work hard so I doubt there’ll be any issues. I guess I’m just overthinking it.

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oxy-normal@reddit (OP)

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nathderbyshire@reddit

Unless work is a specific stressor would it be the best thing to be off if you live together still? Unless they'll be out the most of the day, but I'm just thinking you might not want to be around them. If there's somewhere else to go like parents for a few days and you need the break yeah, stress is stress and you're entitled to gather yourself. It's better than pushing it down and risking exploding 10x worse later down the line

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oxy-normal@reddit (OP)

Thanks, yes intended on going to stay with my mum for a few days at least. Fortunately I have the option to work from home 2 days a week so I can take my laptop and if I feel like working will still be able to. My issue is I just can’t focus on work at all right now and I’m in the kind of job where if I was to make a mistake it could potentially have bad implications which would reflect badly on myself and the organisation.

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AangFanClub@reddit

The same thing happened to me a few years ago and going in to work actually made me feel 100x better but it depends how your team are, or if you have a good relationship with them. Sometimes being busy helps you feel better and some general support from people around you might make you feel better, it certainly helped me, but it’s all relative. You know yourself better than anyone, be kind to yourself more than anything 🫶🏻

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oxy-normal@reddit (OP)

Thank you. My team are great people and I’m usually the type to keep busy to take my mind off things, but if I can’t focus and am making mistakes at work it’s probably best for me to take a few days to work on myself. Appreciate your help.

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buru_7@reddit

My take on it would be: I don’t know about your place of work specifically, but people do take days off for mental health reasons, and you don’t have to have a diagnosis of a mental health condition to do that. It’s important to take care of yourself otherwise you can’t do your best work, so if you need to, take a few days. You will be ok :)

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oxy-normal@reddit (OP)

Thanks, I’ve only been there since last May and in that time I’ve only taken 2 consecutive sick days when I was genuinely ill. My boss knows I work hard so I think it probably is justifiable to take a few days off given the circumstances, I just hate the guilt feeling like I’m letting my team down.

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SnooTigers9274@reddit

Totally acceptable. I went through a terrible breakup from an 18 year relationship, I was really struggling. I went to my boss. I am really professional so it took a great deal to discuss my personal life. She said "that's soooo sad, you need to lay on the sofa with some Disney films". That was it, her response. This was someone working for a very well known broadcaster. I ended up going to HR to talk about it and was granted some leave. I work hard, don't take time off and go above and beyond. I needed some support, not Sleeping Beauty.

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oxy-normal@reddit (OP)

Sounds like you had a great boss. I know my boss would be very understanding also but I’m a very private person and like to keep my work/personal life separate, so it’s just bringing it up in the first place that will be the hard part. I really appreciate your answer, thank you.

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SnooTigers9274@reddit

No she wasn't 😀. I dont really blame her, as even people in charge can find it difficult to deal with the personal issues of others. Her response was patronising, but once the system came into play, I had huge support. In the same way I know of people in charge who struggle with any negative news as they are inexperienced in how to react. But the organisation should support you. If you are struggling you need the time.

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oxy-normal@reddit (OP)

Oh so sorry! I didn’t read it in a patronising way, I thought that was her saying “go home and come back when you’re feeling better”. I’m glad you had people in your organisation who did understand though.

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aemdiate@reddit

It sounds like that was her way of saying you needed some time off, not working.

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SnooTigers9274@reddit

No she meant after work. 😀 Afterwards the support was there big time, really amazing, but I had to navigate around the person directly in charge.

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Captain_Chappie@reddit

"I just need a few days to figure out what my next steps are." THAT'S why you need the time off, NOT because of the breakup. And it's a perfectly good reason, your life comes before your job.

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Outrageous_Tomato_71@reddit

Take a few sick days for your mental health, it doesn’t have to be at the level for you to need anti depressants to justify it. Think of it as preventative, if you forced yourself in you wouldn’t get any work done but you might get more stressed and burnt out and would need time off anyway.

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oxy-normal@reddit (OP)

Thanks, I think that’s what I’m going to have to do.

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humunculus43@reddit

Book a real holiday a fuck off for a week on your own somewhere interesting. Try and get some shagging done out there too

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oxy-normal@reddit (OP)

No leave left until April left unfortunately but I’ve got two weeks booked off over Easter and fully intend on going somewhere sunny.

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Sendnoods88@reddit

I took a day sick. I was blubbering like a baby. I’m in a client facing role and I would’ve just cried the whole time.

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tenentfeesactQ@reddit

As others have said, you can self-certify for a few days, but I just wanted to add that you don't need a prescription to get a sick not from the doctor.

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Difficult_Falcon1022@reddit

Just self certify for a couple days that you're unwell.

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robrt382@reddit

As sick days, yes, this is what they're for if you need them.

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