People who are going through hell right now, what is it, that is keeping you going?

Not to sound like one of those "if you're homeless buy a house" smug arseholes but if you don't like your job find another one, I heard a great quote from Jimmy Carr the other day and it said people think drug addiction is one of the main addictions facing out society but its actually a monthly wage he was saying this to a girl in the audience who said she wanted to be a comedian and hated her job. I hated the last job I worked at and left, my boyfriend will not stick around on any job if he's treated like shit it's different with site work they scream in your face and insult you he now does gas servicing and he seems happier for it, more relaxed. The last 2 years i've had would break most people, I've been told I have an ovarian cyst that could rupture at any moment and because of my weight I can't have surgery to remove it but if it ruptures idk if they'll be able to help me or it could be fatal 🫤, I had to get my cat put down cos he had seizures then barely 4 months later i was served a section 21 notice by my old landlord because we didn't agree to the rent increase even though the place was a dump (silverfish, woodrot, woodlice, damp) so we had to give everything away I had to save up to move including mine and my boyfriend's koi fish, the only place we could move to was a caravan because we can't afford to rent privately and it's extremely cramped with scorching hot temperatures in the summer and painfully cold in the winter we also have a scummy neighbour behind us who smokes weed, has bonfires and shouts with his wife at late hours of the night on his drive and while that would be water off a duck's back for most people my age (30s) i have anxiety and PTSD from having shit noisy neighbours so everytime he shouts i have a full on anxiety attack 🤷‍♀️. December of last year my narcissistic aunt and uncle decide to cut me out over a jokey comment i made about a gas leak in their house, I had a bad trip of an HHC edible over New years eve period and came down with flu, extreme exhaustion, dizzy spells and inner ear vertigo whilst at that time trying to recover and get better the site I'm living on which is on a farm had frequent power cuts and at one point didn't have electricity for nearly a week, me, my boyfriend and our cat had to stay in a Travelodge and I was crying and having anxiety attacks worrying we weren't gonna have a home to come back to because we didn't know if the site supervisor was ever going to sort the electrics out or what. I have no support network at all despite suffering from BPD, Asperges and depression my way of dealing with things is to just not give in to despair, I get up i get on with it I don't lay in bed and give up on hygiene I do housework in the tin can I live in to try and make it nice, I look after my cat, I'm trying to sort my boyfriend's CCJ out atm and get it removed from his credit score i'm going through lawyers to do this, I do art even though I'm not good at it, I write NSFW reader fics and fan fics for people who request them on Tumblr those are about the only things keeping me going, mostly I try and tune stuff out and just focus on writing and that, writing has helped me on days where I've wanted to cry and wished I was dead, I also try to find humour and inspiration wherever I can. In truth I've not had a breakdown because I don't want to give people I.e my family the satisfaction of seeing me fall apart and gossiping over it I feel like I'm one hair strand away from having a mental breakdown all the time but I guess my boyfriend, my cat, my sister and her kids and the silly little blog I run keep me going but yeah at this point I'm pretty much dead inside and couldn't even process the grief of having lost another cat recently (he was a cat I'd had since I was 18 he lived with my sister) maybe I have adjustment syndrome idk but my life is a pile of shit and I've lost so much that if I actually thought about it I'd become suicidal it is what it is. I crack on because I don't have a choice and survival is something I've been used to doing since I was a little girl and I was raised by a drug addict and alcoholic who killed herself when I was 10.