How did you get over your mid life crisis?

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Jayatthemoment@reddit

By noting that the state my health is in, that that meltdown I had when I was about 28 was probably my midlife crisis. Mortality generally stops you being such a fanny.

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I'm 40 and I've come to accept it. Resignation. I'll never do all those things I hoped for, because my life has gone down a less than optimal path. Mostly due to my own lack of self-belief and fear of the world, the years were frittered away in a kind of emotional/spiritual paralysis, and now I wake up and my prime is already behind me, lost in a haze. Just live day by day.

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castle_lane@reddit

Something in your tone suggests you’ve not accepted it.

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NobDeRiro@reddit

I’m also 33 but didn’t realise it was middle aged so currently I too am now panicking

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castle_lane@reddit

33 here also, Jesus himself never made it to 34. Luckily I’ve been panicked forever so this is nothing new.

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rev-fr-john@reddit

I'm not quite there yet, but I can feel it approaching, bizarrely my wife has found me a themepark girlfriend and a bongo's bingo girlfriend should I finally commit to having a mid life crisis, I'm hoping to stave it off for another 15 years otherwise I might not get to 150 ish.

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kmans91@reddit

I went through it last year. Honestly, time will do it's thing and move you past it. However, use it as an opportunity to make lists of what you want out of life and find different things to do. At worst you don't like it, at best it will be something to each. Trying new things help to burn it through your system. A lot of people dismiss it in your thirties. However, if you have seen people pass away younger or even just realise how time is moving on, it can develop.

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onepieceisonthemoon@reddit

You have another 25 years or so until youre definitely old, just think about all the people that became successful later in life Oh and yeah life extension will probably be a thing in your lifetime What I cant get over is the fact that people joining the workforce now are unlikely to retire until their mid 70s.

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PurchaseDry9350@reddit

58 isn't definitely old. But I am also stressing out like OP and I'm 28 years old

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FeedFrequent1334@reddit

> 58 isn't definitely old. Speak for yourself. Most of the men in my family haven't made it to 50. > I am also stressing out like OP and I'm 28 years old Mate you're probably only a few months older than the perennially baby faced Keiran Tierney. My old man was older than you when he went a did a Uni access course and was probably 40 when he got finally got his PhD. At 28 your life is just beginning if you don't have a terminal disease or a family history of heart problems.

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Tricky_Routine_7952@reddit

A big positive of being single with no kids is that you don't have to stress about that stuff. The worst thing about getting old and dying is the people you leave behind. If it helps, you're still a youngster. You shouldn't start feeling old until you get to 50 and bits of you start crumpling up and/or falling off.

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FeedFrequent1334@reddit

> You shouldn't start feeling old until you get to 50 and bits of you start crumpling up and/or falling off. Hey I resent that remark. I'm barely 40 and bits of me are starting to crumple up and threatening to fall off. Thankfully the important bits are all hanging in there, but my back is fucked, my knees are fucked, my hips are fucked. Respiratory issues. Blood Circulation issues. Just fucked basically.

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RedOwl101010@reddit

I started doing a yoga and physical therapy exercise earlier in the morning in my mid 30's and just turned 40 this year. I find that that quit time to work my body and still my mind has help immensely for my well-being.

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Perception_4992@reddit

Wait until you’re actually middle age for it to hit properly.

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mattamz@reddit

Was going to say this I would say 33 is middle aged.

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BrieflyVerbose@reddit

It's not bloody far off though is it?! Two years and he's halfway to 70, many people don't make it to that age.

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CriticalCentimeter@reddit

thats not typically how being middle aged is worked out. It usually ignores the childhood years and represents adulthood. So if the clock starts at 18, and the average age is 78, middle aged starts around 48ish yo.

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mattamz@reddit

Many people don't buy the average in UK is 78 for men in the UK apparently (from a quick Google).

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Axehack101@reddit

Scotland drags that down quite substantially tho

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Gloomy-Flamingo-9791@reddit

Scotland love a bit of heroin, London loves a good ol' stabbing. We all have our vices

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UncBarry@reddit

West Yorkshire, we stab heroin into ourselves, best (or worst) of both worlds.

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ramxquake@reddit

Middle age is 35-55.

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bowak@reddit

Nah, 45-65 seems more like it.

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Howzitgoanin@reddit

Speak for yourself, I live in Scotland

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UncBarry@reddit

Oooft

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Scarred_fish@reddit

So do I. I'm 52. Middle age is 8-18 years away.

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RichardNotJudy@reddit

My condolences.

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Actual_Elk3422@reddit

I still wouldn't say 33 is middle-aged

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iamjpjw@reddit

Has life dealt u any serious trauma cards? I say everything u have listed is minor! Don't stress 😀

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subtlevibes219@reddit (OP)

Nothing serious, I just got my anxiety turned all the up all of a sudden.

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iamjpjw@reddit

Remember life works out in the end mate!

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JizzCancer@reddit

You haven't had a midlife crisis, you just have anxiety

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UncBarry@reddit

Anxiety yes, usually, drugs / drink helps, but that can be a slippery slope.

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Charming_Rub_5275@reddit

Tried that. Helps for a few hours and then.. well we all know the rest.

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VolcanicBear@reddit

Served me fine for 20 years tbh. Just gotta find the balance.

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Scarred_fish@reddit

Username checks out.

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pajamakitten@reddit

Self-medication in any form is.

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royalblue1982@reddit

I reckon that 30-35 is the 'sweet spot' in terms of youth-maturity. Just try and enjoy this period. Once you hit 36 you can then make some changes to your life. Once you hit 40 you'll just accept yourself for who you are.

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DrH1983@reddit

I'm 42, not sure I'm out the other side yet

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Nice_Back_9977@reddit

Set some goals. What do you want to be different this time next year? How are you going to make it happen? Don't just sit around stressing and letting time pass you by!

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ZemiXylex@reddit

I totally agree with this! I make 10 simple/vague goals a year and they help me feel accomplished. I also set decade resolutions for each decade of my life which are things that are harder to attain. Doing this forces me to think and reflect on what I want out of my life. Couple of examples: make a new friend, book a holiday, go to a lesson, attend a club, book a race, write a story, lose some weight, read 3 books. Goal is to keep it as vague and achievable as possible.

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Best_Cup_883@reddit

Really good advice mate. I will say we can't always achieve our goals, but if we do nothing different yr after yr very little will change.

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237175@reddit

This is good advice. A few years ago a made a phone wallpaper with pictures that represented all of the goals I wanted to achieve in the next few years. At least for the goals that I could be in control of - it was really helpful to be able to see them every time I opened my phone, and helped drive me to achieve them all.

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Millefeuille-coil@reddit

Sarcasm has been my coping mechanism

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Cakeyhands@reddit

Prozac and travel. 33 male single so i'm very qualified to answer. And went through similar - there's only so maby friends weddings you can go to without feeling that you messed up along the way. It took me over a decade of dedication to get my current job (which was my plan B) and I neglected everything else in life along the way - Includong relationships (largely because I never felt I had enough money - dating felt futile). I grew up house-poor and became academically ambitious after underpreforming at school - getting to where I am was lonley, but not working as hard as I did felt like it would have been a worse option in the long run. Now i'm in a job that i love, make a difference, yet the media smears on a regular basis. My profession is the target of a lot of online intraprofessional bullying of the strawman version they have sculpted. Yet in practice, I mostly get thankyous from my boss, my colleagues and all the people I help along the way. So yeah, prozac and travel. Love from a boat in the Philippines.

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dkb1391@reddit

Get into warhammer lol Man needs a hobby

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7Due-Log2376@reddit

Over? Sir, my house is paid off in a few months. My midlife crisis is about to begin! Am doubting between a 718, supra 3.0 or lotusbelise mk3. If u have suggestions, shoot.

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this-guy-@reddit

Midlife crisis tends to focus on uncertainty, who am I, and what am I doing? I used to worry that I'd wasted my life , that everything I'd done might turn out to be meaningless. My midlife crisis made me put this into focus and examine these concerns and realise, yes. I have wasted my life. And with that I was able to put uncertainty to rest. Now I'm secure in the knowledge that everything is pointless.

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ramxquake@reddit

I didn't.

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Colourbomber@reddit

Had this on my 30th birthday I just sat there and looked at the wall. Thankfully it passed and I was able to stomach my mundane existence.

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kippax67@reddit

Leave your wife and kids, take up with a girl half your age, buy a Lamborghini. Then start drinking heavily and taking cocain. That should sort.

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JizzCancer@reddit

Cocaine is awesome, but not worth it

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2xtc@reddit

OPs only in his early 30s, not sure a 16 year old girlfriend would help him 😬

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pajamakitten@reddit

I'm 33 and there were plenty of girls I was at sixth form with who were happy to go out with guys 10+ years older than them.

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kippax67@reddit

Just a suggestion mate it’s not the law.

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2xtc@reddit

Haha yeah, my comment was more about the fact your typical mid-life-crisis starter kit might not work for a kid whose barely out of his 20s

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kippax67@reddit

Not mid life then.

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2xtc@reddit

Well yes, that was my point.

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kippax67@reddit

Let’s not get deep on this one mate.

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Electrical-Skin-8006@reddit

I realized that i should stop spending my perceived little time left worrying about the little time left. Live in the present.. Moment that clicked, i started to feel a lot better.

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gooderz84@reddit

Bought a racehorse and a jeep. One has been super reliable. The other a money sink.

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pussyseal@reddit

Try to reduce your internet time down to an hour a day and check if it's getting better. Social media have absolutely fucked people's mental health by competition for attention and fast dophamine cravings. Accept all your problems and identity 20% of the work you can do right now to improve your life by 80%.

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cgknight1@reddit

>I'm 33 [And Live in Blackpool or Govan?](https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/dec/09/down-by-the-sea-poverty-brings-blackpool-life-expectancy-to-uk-low)

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Garth-Vega@reddit

I reconciled that I was always in crisis and life became so much easier

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Internal-Climate-847@reddit

I turned 35 today and I instantly thought to myself I reckon that’s my half way through now and had a bit of a moment. But I’m happy, have a beautiful wife and daughter, have hobbies and friends and have been happy with what I’ve achieved so far. Makes me hopeful for the next 35.

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BarnabyBundlesnatch@reddit

33 lol You havent even begun to freak out yet, mate. Just wait until you start getting hang overs from eating too many chips....

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Glittered_Fingers@reddit

These are anxiety-inducing times. Try not to worry about societal expectations — you've got lots of time on your side yet. The world is geared these days to keep us feeling under-gratified, under-satisfied, and always in fear of our security and future. Sending you a big hug from a slightly older Internet stranger.

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Amrodinyr@reddit

Lots of therapy. Facing down those skeletons hiding away. Changed a lot of unhealthy habits to healthy habits. Took time to discover just what the fuck it is I really care about and be brave enough to change my career and work towards it. Made new friends and renewed old ones.

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Tildatots@reddit

I had this at 30 but now over it - go work to your goals. Even if it doesn’t achieve the result of six figures and a partner the journey can be fun

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SmellyPubes69@reddit

I also had this at 35, my tips are finding something fun that you can meet people - get a motorbike - try a sport like skiing, downhill mountain biking, running then meet with other people who do that - play video games - volunteer, volunteering folk are some of the most friendly, kindest people out there

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ReneRottingham@reddit

A trip to the Philippines

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Mission-Raccoon979@reddit

I’ll let you know when I’m over it. 20 years in so far

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palebluedot365@reddit

Based on your post history, drugs may be having an influence

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PurchaseDry9350@reddit

Ive been stressing out just like you, I'm 28, have spent years in a fog due to CFS, miserable a lot of the time. Still single and no clue how to recover from physical and mental health problems. It's causing me a lot of regrets over lost time and anxiety. Couldn't finish uni due to illness. I also would like to know :( sending my love to you, it is hard. The problem is, even when my life was better health-wise, socially, etc. I felt a lot of unhappiness and dissatisfaction, when I was 19, 23 etc. The only thing I do know is that the years keep going by and I keep regretting what I didn't do, in this cycle of unhappiness

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deadlocked72@reddit

It's not a competition, do the things you like and to hell with anything else.

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archelz15@reddit

I feel you, and I too want to know the answer to this, even though my logical mind knows there isn't one beyond "get on with it and see where life takes you". There are a few things that have happened in the past year that I know have not helped my mental state e.g. I was happy single until someone appeared in my life and rewired my brain away from that, but then it was over too soon imo, and the resulting situation is a bit of a shitshow that I'm still trying to sort in my head and is still causing me to have meltdowns weekly, if not more often. I'm lucky enough to have a couple of supportive good friends, but there's this constant worry that they're increasingly tiring of how messed up I've gotten.

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ParsnipSnip90@reddit

Hobbies

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kamiCanti@reddit

Called my dad, he rushed to get to me. Humbling knowing people do give a crap about you.

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Charming_Rub_5275@reddit

Your dad rushed to you because you said you were having a mid life crisis?

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kamiCanti@reddit

Mental health crisis, just so happened to be during mid life.

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fionakitty21@reddit

That's lovely (in an unfortunate situation way). I have diagnosed bad MH issues, including ptsd due to abuse, and was struggling last week, badly. Ma visited mid week, and on Friday, my ex (kids' dad, they live with him, have a good co parenting relationship) picked me up, and I'm back home tomorrow. There's love and care on both sides, but NOT in that way, but just being able to cook/clean/chill all together and watch tv has been bliss. I'm 40 in a couple weeks, my life is 100% not where I thought it would be, but tbh, I HAVE to just take it literally 1 day at a time but that's how it's gotta be right now. Hope you are ok.

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ODFoxtrotOscar@reddit

I think you’re rather young for a mid-life crisis. But when I had mine, I started running, met loads of people, ran times within touching distance of Good For Age and felt so much better in myself. So I’d always recommend a new physical activity where you meet people

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Far-Simple1979@reddit

Wait until you hit 40.

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Axehack101@reddit

From a married 38 year old with kids a dog and far too many responsibilities to mention, I can tell you the grass isn’t always greener… If we were to change shoes right now, I’d make bank and travel light, working remotely while travelling. The bonus to this is you might just meet someone’s, if not, at least you’ll get to experience all the things I won’t because I couldn’t afford to when I was younger and now that I can, I don’t have the freedom. It’s a big world out there’s go look at it.

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DrakeManley@reddit

At 32, I met a woman, my now ex, thankfully. We moved in together, had 3 kids, and eventually realized she was a crazy manipulative psychopath and she chucked me out after 10 years together. Had enough money to pay the deposit to rent a house but nothing else. Slept on the floor in the bedroom for a few weeks till I could afford a bed/mattress etc etc. Decided I was going to be single for a while, didn't quite work out like that, got friendly with a woman from work, and we started seeing each other. She left the company, so we had a year or two of a long distance relationship before we decided that we would live together. 13 years later, I'm happier than I've ever been. We're now married (5 years) living in a house we're refurbishing and life is wonderful. You're still young, there is plenty of time to meet the one for you. A little anxiety never hurt anyone, but count the things that you have got going for you and you will be much happier. You've got this!!

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Nipplecunt@reddit

Masturbated a lot

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AnxEng@reddit

Remember that: - At least half of life is luck - Money, beyond what makes you comfortable, doesn't buy you any more happiness. Neither do material possessions. That brand new shiny motorbike won't make you any more happy than a 20 year old one will. - Focus on experiences and relationships (all types of relationships). - Life is too short to work with arseholes, and to work a stressful job just for the money.

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BigGrinJesus@reddit

OP, you aren't middle aged yet. Also, I have found that a lot can change in your life over the course of 24 months. This time in two years you may find yourself in a new job where you have made some close friends, through whom you have met your fiancé.

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AKAGreyArea@reddit

33?

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Acrobatic_Extent_360@reddit

Midlife is surely closer to 40?

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AvoidFinasteride@reddit

Its 38 in uk.

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Lightertecha@reddit

You're at least 15 years too early for a mid life crisis :)

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AvoidFinasteride@reddit

>You're at least 15 years too early for a mid life crisis :) Hardly. Middle age is 38.

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Just-Ad-7765@reddit

Stop comparing yourself to others!

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EfficiencyLogical471@reddit

Ha, must be nice to only have this hit you now in your 30s. Hit me at like 21.

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OiYou@reddit

Same lol

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aemdiate@reddit

Unless you are planning on dying by 66 you are just having a crisis. You are young, don't wish it away and enjoy yourself.

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Durzo_Blintt@reddit

To be fair it's not far off for some areas of the UK regarding men these days. Looking at my area it's 75 lol so at 35 I'm only a few years from middle aged.

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Actual_Elk3422@reddit

33 is not midlife

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Loud-Neat6253@reddit

I’m 50 and I’m just starting mine. Gym 5-6 days a week, trying to reduce my processed foods. I make job lists including books to read. I’ve no got an allotment. I’m not sure where it stops, if it ever does.

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yorkspirate@reddit

Can't have a 'mid life' crisis if your whole life is a crisis 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

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mrsdontknowwhoiam@reddit

43 here and my Mlc started when I hit 39 and I’m still riding it out to see where it takes me as that’s all you can do unless you want to dramatically change the way you live your life.

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KarsaOrlongDong@reddit

I don’t know much but here are my observations - Just remember nobody knows what they are doing, 95% of people are blagging it. Everyone is full of horrible insecurities - it’s human nature. In about 10 years you will not be bothered about friends, that passes. I worry about health but then I think I don’t want to be old, being a burden on everyone , so what does it matter. Mindfulness and meditation are not bull shit. Garlic

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Party_Broccoli_702@reddit

At 35 I got a motorbike, started swimming lessons, guitar classes, painting classes, and collecting power tools I would only use once... Then I got bored of it all about 3 years later. Swimming was the only good thing I got from that phase. I got bored because I realised I was trying to do much, and trying to race against this idealised version of myself that I created in my early 20's (when I stoopid and ignorant) so that shadow I was racing was a misguided dream of a young adult. Chill, do regular exercise, pick one hobby and stick to it.

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FoodExternal@reddit

I had mine aged 32. I left my marriage, left the country and lived overseas for best part of nine years. Divorce happened in the meantime, my ex wife got all the assets (which weren’t much, and I was happy to surrender them). Despite losing my mind for a while, on balance, I’m much happier (with the benefit of SNRI pharmaceuticals) and conscious that if I had stayed and not been medicated, many, many worse things would have been done.

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CriticalCentimeter@reddit

You aren't having a midlife crisis. You're just insecure in your own skin.

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SenSel@reddit

Definitely look into therapy. You're definitely objectively doing alright. There's a good comfortable job at £35k, then there's a good job at £90k+.

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