I was reported to my child’s school by her best friend’s mom over her tantrums. What to do next?

Having read a lot of your other responses, I think that the other poster might be on to something here. You keep talking about 'gentle parenting' and I think that's giving a lot of people the idea that you're one of those parents that never says 'No.' to their kid(s). Gentle parenting has got a really bad reputation because the term has become so misapplied and misunderstood! It's evident that's not the case at all. You're very much hands on. It's just that you believe in treating your child as a small person with their own individual personality and autonomy, and you treat them accordingly. You don't treat them as your property, a 'mini-me' to control, to order around. It's especially hard around people who don't know you well, with something like a tantrum which, at that age, usually happens because they're tired, unwell, struggling with difficult emotions, or a combo of these. Many people, especially those with outdated, hardline views on parenting, think that if you're not getting in there and laying down the law, hard, then you're automatically a bad parent. But there's no point shouting at a 3 yr old who's feeling really unwell but doesn't quite know why or how to tell you, and is tired out and over-stimulated, after a party on top of that. The best thing is to take them aside to somewhere quiet, if possible and just let them get it out of their system, just for a moment or two, and as long as they're safe, and then scoop them up and get them out. You can't do the good work that you need to do with them until they've released all of those pent up complicated feelings first. Once they're a little calmer, that's when you can start talking with them. And yes, every single kid is different. Parenting techniques that work for one child may not work for their sibling - I know that one all too well! Only you know what works with your child. You recognise when they need a calm, gentle, understanding approach, and when they need to be firmly told to stop and behave better. This time, you knew that a strict approach was pointless. You knew that your child was acting out, not because they're spoilt, or badly behaved, but because they're unwell. I'm a mum of 3 autistic kids, I've been there, especiallywith ly youngest who's now a teenager. People used to judge us when my youngest was having a meltdown in public.