Is it acceptable to ask for music to be turned down in a restaurant?

Posted by DoftheD@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 321 comments

Went out for lunch today in a family friendly Sunday pub with some older relatives, a couple of whom have trouble hearing conversation at the table even with hearing aids when the music is louder than speaking volume. Even I was struggling a bit and I don’t have hearing issues, so I asked very politely if it could be turned down just a little bit and explained about the hearing issues. Staff said they’re not allowed to adjust the volume as per restaurant policy, so couldn’t grant our request. I accepted the response and said thank you, totally understand individual staff can’t do that under the circumstances. I think the point of a Sunday family lunch is to enjoy the food and the company in a relaxed environment, so when the music is too loud as tables fill up, everyone has to constantly increase their volume to hear each other and it spoils the experience. Just wondering if others think this is a reasonable request, or does it encroach on others who are enjoying it?

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thierry_ennui_@reddit

Chef here - completely acceptable. I would email the restaurant and let them know, too - if it's their policy (which seems weird, I've never worked at a restaurant that has a volume policy, outside of maximum volume limiters) then they should consider readdressing their policy.

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Glittering-Sink9930@reddit

"It's restaurant policy" is just a polite way of saying no.

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CrabbyGremlin@reddit

Yeah it wasn’t the restaurants policy, it was the staff members policy. They wanted to listen to their favourite music whilst working.

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AnonymousTimewaster@reddit

Think it's probably more likely that it would go against the vibe they're going for. Most likely they're trying to attract young people / wannabe influencers that will give them free marketing.

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Impossible-Handle-85@reddit

Please for the love of god work in a restaurant for a month instead of coming up with crazily inaccurate assumptions like this. "Most likely" is a wild generalization.

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Impossible-Handle-85@reddit

these kind of assumptions are why you get told no. Firstly, one table should not dictate the atmosphere of an entire restaurant. That includes temperature. Secondly, assuming the staff is out to get you, make your day worse, or otherwise do nothin but jam out is crazy. We're in the service industry to pay bills and that includes keeping clientele.

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d3gu@reddit

Having worked in multiple restaurants, cafes and bars... It's likely not their favourite music. Unless it's a small/independent pub, or perhaps a music/rock bar, the staff don't get to choose the music. And since they couldn't turn it down, I'd say you went to a big chain pub? Usually it's a pre-selected playlist, often on repeat. Sometimes even selected so they don't have to pay PRS. I remember one cafe I worked in just played 8-bit versions of popular songs, and we didn't have to pay PRS. It just becomes background noise for the staff.

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lordspammington@reddit

I think this is an unfair assumption to make. You can get some properly fussy restaurant owners, and in this instance I think ‘restaurant policy’ can just as easily be a nice why of saying ‘my boss is gonna have a go at me if I mess around with his ambience’. I’ve certainly worked in places where that was the case.

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ToastedCrumpet@reddit

This. The minimum wage waiter or barman more often than not is gonna have zero say in the volume or musical content

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Prior-Beach-3311@reddit

Having worked in a pub , rather than a restaurant so slightly different, but you get pulled into volume wars where one group wants the volume down a d another group want it up, whether that's the T.V or the jukebox - you can never please everyone so it can easier to have a set volume that doesn't get changed and you can't get stuck in the middle then

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freeeeels@reddit

There's literal research about the optimal music volume and light dimming that makes people consume the most amount of food and drink. It's not what patrons _like_.

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broc_cridhe@reddit

I assure you, unless the restaurant workers are in charge of the playlist, it's probably the same songs they are tired of hearing in their dreams. Every time we tried to turn down the stupid music, my manager would come out and turn it back up.

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jaypp_@reddit

The place where I work won't allow the music turned down as the head honchos in London think loud music is our vibe. If the GM is not in, some managers might allow turning it down a notch but not by much. It's not like the staff anywhere especially enjoys shouting at the customers to be heard...

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Busy-Shallot-5563@reddit

I don’t even think it’s a policy, where I work we have no control at all over the volume (but it’s at a reasonable volume anyway lol)

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Buffy_Geek@reddit

Yeah I would think adding an exception for disabled people who are hard of hearing/deaf would be a reasonable accommodation.

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Kupo-Moogle@reddit

> I would email the restaurant and let them know Jesus titting Christ you redditors really need to look at yourselves. This is pathetic.

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-milxn@reddit

It’s no big deal, it’s a private email as opposed to spamming the place with 1 star reviews

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stoned-grape@reddit

Communicating an issue that may prevent customers from returning is not even close to being pathetic

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grblwrbl@reddit

What the hell is wrong with a polite "I enjoyed visiting your restaurant, but it would have been even nicer if you could do something about this issue"? Communication is a pretty big part of human society, chief.

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Rockpoolcreater@reddit

Why is it pathetic. The restaurant is essentially discriminating against people with hearing difficulties, autistic people who struggle with loud areas, etc. It's crazy for a restaurant to not be willing to turn the music down a bit. As a lot of people probably just walk out,or will never come back again.

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Pvt_Porpoise@reddit

I think being unable to respectfully address a grievance with a business is more pathetic. Not a thing wrong with constructive feedback.

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emil_@reddit

You alright there luv?

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TheHalfwayBeast@reddit

Why so angry at 5pm on a Sunday?

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disappointingcryptid@reddit

> you redditors > top 1% commenter

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Imaginary_Desk_@reddit

Why?

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thierry_ennui_@reddit

Good businesses value feedback. Get over yourself.

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MightyFrugalDad@reddit

HELL YES!

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nmckl@reddit

Absolutely acceptable. As someone who works in a pub, it annoys us as much as it annoys you! It’s the same policy at my pub and I feel terrible when I have to tell people no (or more accurately when my managers tell them no)

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Kyla_3049@reddit

Try turning down the bass and treble dials or all of the sliders if it's an EQ. You can then say "The volume is still on X%; it's just the song"

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nmckl@reddit

Unfortunately it's just a channel/volume dial. Though I can occasionally get away with turning it down slightly if I'm discreet enough, hey ho

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BlueTrin2020@reddit

You are fine: you can always request, and they can also refuse

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CheesyLala@reddit

I really hate places that play really loud music, especially places where you'd clearly like to actually talk to the people you're with. Absolutely ask this, the more people do this the more people will realise that they don't want to try to eat Sunday lunch with the grandparents with shit pop forcing them to shout.

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DoftheD@reddit (OP)

It was the shit pop that bothered me

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CheesyLala@reddit

Yeah, exactly, I wouldn't mind if it was decent music, but irrespective of that I wouldn't even presume that what I think is decent music should be forced on other people. "Oh but everyone likes Robbie Williams!" No, I fucking hate the prick and every bit of music he's ever made.

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johnnymarsbar@reddit

The only part here I disagree with is "decent music“ what *is* decent music? Could be anything to anyone, the key mainly volume whole also playing crowd pleasing inoffensive music. Note: I also don't like Robbie Williams music, when I used to work in Iceland the guy who did all the cover music for the shop covered one of his songs and was so excruciatingly bad I was tempted to find him and beat him with hammers 😅

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Hatanta@reddit

Actually I love Robbie - no, can't bring myself to type it even as a joke.

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GrumpyOldFart74@reddit

I disagree… even when it’s music I like it’s still annoying when it’s too loud and I can’t hear the people I’m speaking to!

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CheesyLala@reddit

Oh yeah I 100% agree with that, that wasn't what I meant. I hate music that's too loud whatever, but extra annoyance when it's something I don't like.

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Norman_debris@reddit

Yeah. They could be blasting out my favourite albums, but lunch with the oldies is not the time nor place.

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DoftheD@reddit (OP)

There was no Robbie Williams and none of us like his music. It started off a bit more acoustic singer songwriter type stuff which, whilst none of our cups of tea was ok. Went into more of a chart pleasers direction thereafter, which pleased none of us. But I am now making it sound like it was about the selection rather than the volume, and it’s definitely about the volume. But agree when the music is bad it certainly doesn’t help.

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Own_Art_2465@reddit

If it was shit pop it was definitely the staff's choice and they just didn't want to turn it down

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Glittering-Sink9930@reddit

I suspect it's a calculated decision. They want people to eat their potatoes and leave so that they can get some new customers in.

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CheesyLala@reddit

Nah I don't buy that, for a Sunday lunch in a pub 80% of the time you don't have food in front of you; obviously the conversation drops when the food is there, but most of the time you're chatting, ordering a drink, reading the menu, waiting for your food etc. If they wanted to turn around the table quickly they'd knock the food out quickly. There's no reason at all for a pub to be blasting out music when people are having a meal.

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Glittering-Sink9930@reddit

They sell more drinks if the food takes longer.

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CheesyLala@reddit

Yeah, that's not how things work.

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Glittering-Sink9930@reddit

It's just common sense. People aren't going to order a second drink if they've already finished their food before they've finished their drink.

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CheesyLala@reddit

What's "common sense" is that if you annoy your customers they don't come back.

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libdemparamilitarywi@reddit

I can understand that in peak times, but there are pubs near me that play loud music even on midweek afternoons when the place is mostly empty.

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Quiet_paddler@reddit

My elderly relatives use the SoundPrint app to check how loud it is, and will complain to the owners of the establishment if it's too loud.

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Nothing-Is-Boring@reddit

I was at a conference last year that ended with a huge dinner at a local restaurant, the hosts booked it out and paid for everyone and it was post-conference so there was unending excited chatter between groups. We had to ask for the volume to be turned down repeatedly because they kept creeping it back up... We literally had the whole restaurant to ourselves and conversation was non stop and animated, so weird for them to push back against us. Maybe they were bored listening to us which I get but it was really annoying. 80's dance music was not on the menu until much later in the night.

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blowin96@reddit

Completely reasonable. My dad had a stroke and one of the effects is that he struggles to follow conversations in noisy environments – so I do this quite often. Usually the response is 'of course' but when it isn't I make the point that 'you're creating a problem for someone with a disability' – which always gets results! In the situation you described with hearing-impaired people I think that applies.

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miffyonabike@reddit

It's illegal NOT to make "reasonable adjustments" for disability under Equality Act 2010.

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Kyla_3049@reddit

That's most likely why they give in; not becuse they want to.

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miffyonabike@reddit

I don't care why they do it, so long as they do!

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almaupsides@reddit

You'd think so but even when I bring that up I've had places not turn it down

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miffyonabike@reddit

Visibly document it, ask for the name of the staff member and their shift supervisor, mention the Equality Act itself. That might work in itself, if it doesn't then report them for real!

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philpope1977@reddit

I hope you refused to pay. Apart from being plain rude, the restaurant are probably guilty of disability discrimination for failing to make a reasonable adjustment for the hard of hearing.

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meemii8@reddit

My son has autism and is sensitive to noise. We often can't eat out or go in certain shops, despite him having ear defenders because the music is so loud. We found somewhere where the music was a tolerable level the other day (a weekday lunchtime) and then towards the end of the meal they cranked up the volume to party level, he began wincing and pushing at his ears and so we left. I'd have probably asked them to adjust it if they'd have done that at the start of the meal. I think after reading these comments I'll ask in future. I have worried people may think we have a sense of entitlement if I ask, which is what has stopped me even trying but I just wish more places were accessible to people like my son.

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EdSaperia@reddit

It’s not rude to ask, but it’s ok for them to say no. A lot of this is about the acoustics of the venue rather than the music, in fact.

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strawbebbymilkshake@reddit

I have trouble processing conversations when there’s loud ambient noise and it’s actually very lonely in restaurants when you can’t join in on conversations because you can’t make out what people are saying. It’s not a social occasion for me, and socialising is the only reason I’d go out to eat.

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Kyla_3049@reddit

Have you tried calmer plugs or ANC earbuds like the Liberty 4 NC?

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strawbebbymilkshake@reddit

Those both look very much like loops, so no. I can’t use anything that goes into the ear like that. Can barely get away with little moldable foam plugs

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Kyla_3049@reddit

Does clearing earwax out of your ears help?

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strawbebbymilkshake@reddit

Nope. I’ve had every suggestion under the sun but I cannot change the anatomy of my ears lol. I know you’re trying to be helpful but I cannot wear I earbuds.

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Round_Engineer8047@reddit

It's not only acceptable and reasonable, you shouldn't have been put in a position where you have to ask. I'm aware that I'm sensitive to noise and that a lot of other people like places that are lively. Hipster food hall, you can expect banging avant garde electronica. Family pub on Sunday? Music should be unobtrustive at the very least. I was in a cafe with my friend earlier and there was some faint mellow jazz in the background. That was fine.

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Aggie_Smythe@reddit

“…mellow jazz in the background.” N-i-i-i-i-ce……

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Round_Engineer8047@reddit

I'm pretty sure it was Piles Hussein playing Knick Knack No.

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Frequent_Flyer_Miles@reddit

Exactly this!!! That's basically the comment I came here to make. Jazz/Piano/Gentle Guitar style is the ONLY acceptable music to be played in a restaurant or pub.. Period!! Namely because, even if it's not your particular type of music, it's rather classy, pleasant and refined. Also, it's the sort no-one can really object to as it's got that mellow, quiet tone to it that reminds you you're in a restaurant or bar. And it's usually at a quiet volume that just takes the edge of the silence too. Total silence I find can be equally as bad as too loud, as it makes certain conversations a bit more awkward. So anything at a low hum is perfect for me. We don't need pop music of any description at any time when having a family Sunday lunch, especially with the older generation or hard of hearing members. People see Sunday lunch as a time to relax, to chat and catch up, not to get stressed and have a shouting match over the other tables because the volume is ridiculous.

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Eve_LuTse@reddit

Yes. Not the staff 's fault for the policy though. Time for a bad review?

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idlewildgirl@reddit

I wonder if they do it so you don't stay as long chatting and free up the tables

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TheoryBrief9375@reddit

I've been in some restaurants that rivaled nightclubs for volume! The waiters couldn't even hear the customers! It was a really unpleasant dining experience and yet the staff behind the counter were having a good time dancing around. Seemed the pounding music was for their benefit mostly. I won't be going back and a common theme of their online reviews is complaints about the loud music. I also make a point to thank the staff when the music is correct volume. And I tell them that it made the dinning experience so much better and that I will be returning as a result. Hopefully it feeds back to management.

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Dannypan@reddit

I don't get it at all. I've got a restaurant in the building I manage and I have to ask them to turn their music down all the time because I can hear it in my reception. Usually they can't hear what I'm saying when I go over to tell them off, and this is at 2 in the afternoon!

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FabulousPetes@reddit

I have been railing against loud music in these settings for ages. The correct level is 'conversational lubricant' and some places just can't get the levels right.

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Mr_DnD@reddit

Idk what you're worried / bothering asking about You made a request, the staff said no, no one's feelings were hurt. It's not an unreasonable request but it's also not unreasonable to deny you. Idk maybe I'm reading too much into it but I think many people think that if their request is reasonable then it *should* be granted and a refusal implies their request wasn't reasonable. There's a disconnect between those things.

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londonbudgetquestion@reddit

This is a perfectly reasonable request and one I have had to make a couple of times lately for exactly the same reason as you - I understand some background music if the restaurant is otherwise really quiet, but at peak times I don’t really know why they keep it!

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itsableeder@reddit

> at peak times I don't really know why they keep it A little bit of background music when it's busy helps to mask the sound of your conversation so that everyone in the building can't hear every word you say (and vice versa, so you can talk to the people on your table without heating every other conversation happening around you). Obviously this relies on the volume being at an appropriate level, though.

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BeardedBaldMan@reddit

There's also the problem that many restaurants have embraced an industrial aesthetic without considering proper sound design and now they're clattering hell holes . Dated as it was, thick carpets, padded chairs, walls covered in things and smaller rooms made for a much more enjoyable auditory experience. You see it in interior design. Everyone is so keen on minimalist hard surfaces that as soon as a few people start talking it becomes reverb central.

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Glittered_Fingers@reddit

I'm a carer for a deaf person with hearing aids, and you've got this exactly right. Most modern eating places are a complete nightmare for them.

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Bad_UsernameJoke94@reddit

I had to ask in a cafe once, and you'd have thought I shat in his percolator. "Why? Everyone else is fine." I pointed to my hearing aid. I hate pulling the disability card, but I can't hear the person next to me!

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BeardedBaldMan@reddit

I'm relatively aware of it as while I don't need hearing aids I was asked "were you in the army" at a recent hearing test due to the flat spots in my test results. I spend a lot of meals like that thinking "I have no idea who is saying what" even when I can see them, so I can't imagine how bad it must be for people with real hearing issues.

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irishpancakeeater@reddit

You have hearing issues and you need hearing aids..

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WeLikeTheSt0nkz@reddit

They said they had a hearing test. Their audiologist clearly looked at the test results and they were not representative of someone who needs hearing aids.

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Glittered_Fingers@reddit

It was Covid that brought me back from London to help out. I think England was one of the only countries that didn't put a signer on screen for major addresses, and though they are a good lip-reader, that's a useless skill when most outside broadcasts were delivered from behind masks. I wish there was a little more consideration for a broader range of folk in lots of areas of day to day life! Hearing issues are a broad spectrum, so if you're struggling in any capacity, that's 'real' enough, buddy. Take care.

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phatboi23@reddit

I've been in a few places with the "industrial" asthetic. (always funny as it's usually on a normal high street). One was a pub, litterally had a single pint and left because it echoed like i was in a tin roofed warehouse that was empty which pisses me right the fuck off.

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BeardedBaldMan@reddit

I think there's a cost element. You get to leave all your ceiling exposed, walls can just be left and the floor can be poured concrete. Then you just need to throw in a load of furniture made out of gas pipe and cheap wood and finally finish it off with tacky lightbulbs. Pubs seem to have forgotten that people want to enjoy being in a pub. I went to a craft brewery and as you can imagine the beer was expensive and strong, designed to drinking over a longer period. However, the interior was picnic benches, OSB and work lights for a twee "aren't we so cool making it look like a building site" effect. I don't want to sit on a bench in an echoey room

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phatboi23@reddit

>I went to a craft brewery and as you can imagine the beer was expensive and strong, designed to drinking over a longer period. However, the interior was picnic benches, OSB and work lights for a twee "aren't we so cool making it look like a building site" effect. exactly the kind of place i'm on about haha fuckin' awful to sit in, i get it's cheap but fuckin' hell it's dire to spend more than 30mins in so lord knows how the staff put up with it.

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itsableeder@reddit

Yeah that's a very good point. It's the same with the trend towards open plan design in offices as well. Cubicles might be dull and miserable to look at but at least you can concentrate to get some work done in them!

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BeardedBaldMan@reddit

Once you start thinking about it you see/hear it in so many more places. My home office has our desks against the wall, so when on a call your voice bounces off the hard wall in front of you. I've put a kallax divider down the middle of the room with plants on top and different things filling the spaces. The book shelves lining the opposite wall need to be adjusted to add in more absorbent items and angles. The next step is the obvious one which is to do something with the problem wall, which is probably going to be dedicated sound absorbing panels. Then it's more plants on the windowsill and a thick rug.

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phatboi23@reddit

> which is probably going to be dedicated sound absorbing panels. if you want to DIY it you can do it pretty easily and cheaply. https://youtu.be/qczNxoG8s6o?si=JnktquTYqN2TMkvZ

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EdgeCityRed@reddit

Do a nice tapestry (the thick kind) or some kind of chunky textile art on the wall in front of you. You could put thin panels behind it but you might as well have something nice to look at. (Another option is sound-absorbing panel that you can also use as a bulletin board for cards and some work items.)

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BeardedBaldMan@reddit

I've seen some nice heavy tapestry but they start at £500 for what I like and tend to be in the £1000-1500 range for what I really like. I can fit thick felt with oak spars which looks quite tidy for £80 What I'm considering doing as a test is putting a thick rug I have on the wall

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richardjohn@reddit

My office is hell for that; luckily I’m only in one day a week and it’s mostly for meetings, but I cannot work in it. It’s all open plan, but it also has a mezzanine so the ceiling is two floors high. Two people having a conversation echoes through the whole place.

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Aggravating-Desk4004@reddit

A good example of this is All Bar One. Awful bleak spaces full of concrete and metal. I'm surprised they're still going.

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helcatty@reddit

This. I remember when All Bar One was opening branches in London and their bare floorboards and walls with high tables meant noise carried and it was almost impossible to hold a conversation. Once a restaurant gets busy, they need to turn the music down.

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Puzzleheaded_Drink76@reddit

I see you've worked in my office 😭

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Leading_Study_876@reddit

And mirrored walls everywhere as well. It a nightmare. And of course the music is normally total crap (often inappropriate to the venue) and distorted to hell. I don't mind a little gentle sitar music in an Indian restaurant, but don't want to get assaulted by hardcore grime - or even generic fake Beyonce actually.

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ohrightthatswhy@reddit

Yeah one of my mates has a living room in some weirdly converted townhouse that is clearly some sort of extension, so is down a level but also has a really high ceiling and bare walls. His flat warming had 12-15 people in there but couldn't naturally break out into sub conversational groups because once more than 2 people were talking you couldn't really hear anything but reverberating muffles. Very annoying

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BeardedBaldMan@reddit

Tapestry needs to come back into fashion

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hcuk94@reddit

I had sunday lunch the other week in a busy pub that absolutely nailed this. I had a lovely meal with my parents, had great conversation all the way through. At one point the general conversation in the room quietened down and we noticed the music for the first time. To me this is spot on - use music to lift the atmosphere when it’s quiet, not replace the atmosphere when it’s busy.

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londonbudgetquestion@reddit

That makes sense, I hadn’t thought about that element of it - although I think a lot of places I’ve been to lately are falling down on the appropriate volume aspect 🤣

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itsableeder@reddit

Oh yeah it's definitely a fine line between "we can talk and feel private" and "we have to shout to be heard so the venue turns the music up more because everyone is shouting" and loads of places get it wrong!

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mattl1698@reddit

until everyone has to start trusting their voices to be heard over the other tables and the music, followed by the staff increasing the music volume so they can hear it, in a vicious feedback cycle that eventually gives at least one customer a panic attack or sensory overload

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london_smog_latte@reddit

Because if we turn it off and some one from head office walks in we get a bollocking

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UnacceptableUse@reddit

but why do head office want it on

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wandering_salad@reddit

I read into this a little bit and there's this idea if you can't really chat with your mates, you either drink more (pubs, clubs), or you eat faster and have left the restaurant sooner (so another party can now use that table sooner). It's vile but I wouldn't be surprised. I have hearing damage from loud music at clubs/gigs in the mid and late 00s and am no longer taking any risks with my hearing. I stopped going to live music and clubs etc but even now in just a cocktail bar or pub or restaurant the music is way too loud (especially as you want to be able to have a nice chat with your friends/fam). I hardly eat out for these reasons. I'm not paying £45 for me and a friend to have a cheap-ish meal somewhere if we can't even enjoy conversation whilst we eat. F that. For £10 I can get fancy groceries and in an hour whip up a really nice meal for two. If places like this are complaining they don't get enough customers, maybe they need to look at what they are offering.

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-DorkusMalorkus-@reddit

No fucking clue. I worked for one of these companies for years and there was never any wiggle room. Had to be on or you'd fail an audit

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-cunningstunt@reddit

It was the same in our chain restaurant. They were even strict on having it at a certain volume all day, and yes it was fairly loud when the restaurant was empty.

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Buddy-Matt@reddit

> at peak times I don’t really know why they keep it! Because if they didn't have any music they'd be accused of having no atmosphere. And, given that restaurants (or anywhere trying to make money) don't invent rules without reason, I suspect more people moan about "lack of atmosphere" than people moaning about there being background music. That said, I can't for the life of me figure out why they'd want it anywhere near speaking volume, let alone over it. But it could be there are only a limited number of speakers and OP (and you) were just unlucky enough to be too close to the source of the music.

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Badlydrawnfox08@reddit

Completely reasonable to request and you were accepting when they said they couldn't, so zero issue here.

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rainmouse@reddit

Leave a crappy review on google maps warning others about the music levels.

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KC-2416@reddit

I'd leave a review on trip advisor etc and contact the company. This is a completely reasonable request, it could be considered a disability discrimination if they don't as it means that those with hearing aids can't hear conversations.

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PersonalityTough6148@reddit

Honestly I'm so sick of everywhere blaring out music like it's a rave. We went bowling a few weeks ago and we're basically shouting at each other to tell people it was their go. Impossible to have a conversation. Why are places so adamant that we don't want to speak to our family and friends!?!

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AonghusMacKilkenny@reddit

I wonder if it's done to get through more customers, especially at peak hours. If customers are allowed to relax, they're more likely to be slower?

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Hatanta@reddit

Same reason a lot of takeaways have red seating - makes people subconsciously uncomfortable and less likely to hang around.

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BeersTeddy@reddit

Sunday lunch supossed to be Sunday lunch, not late Friday night party. Off course you allowed to get music to reasonable level, even more, go to another place time. Nothing shows customer dissatisfaction better than lack profit.

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Cantbearsed1992@reddit

Yep, always - especially if seated near the speaker. Totally intrusive!

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pocket__cub@reddit

I have sensory processing issues and so have to avoid restaurants with loud music. I'm convinced that the music is a way to encourage people to eat faster and leave to empty a table, rather than be able to comfortably have a conversation and pace themselves more. Some I've been in are as loud as a night club.

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Worldly_Science239@reddit

You asked - sounds like there was no issue They said no you accepted the answer and said thank you - sounds like there was no issue. The question in the title of this post is about "asking" No, unless you're being disingenuous in the question you're asking here, and what you're really asking is "is it ok for a restaraunt to refuse my request" - then yes, it is. (You can then make a decision in future about using that restaraunt based on your experience)

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SilasMarner77@reddit

I visited France a few years back and was delighted to hear nothing in the bars but the gentle hum of conversation. The constant blasting music in English pubs and bars is an unmitigated plague.

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SquashedByAHalo@reddit

This is precisely why Spoons has a no music policy (barring Lloyds obvs). And the first Spoons opened in 1979 so this is a long-running issue The fact Martin was inspired by Orwell and not rebellion against other establishments is irrelevant

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phatboi23@reddit

not having to sort a PRS licence for a fuck load of bars is also a bonus.

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KinManana@reddit

How was that inspired by Orwell?

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P-Nuts@reddit

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Moon_Under_Water

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razor5cl@reddit

Guessing it's alluding to Orwell's famous essay about his ideal pub https://www.orwellfoundation.com/the-orwell-foundation/orwell/essays-and-other-works/the-moon-under-water/

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louilou96@reddit

If there isn't a dance floor then I shouldn't have to shout over the music

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dads-ronie@reddit

YES!

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likes2milk@reddit

If you have to shout at work it is likely that the volume would require hearing protection - ear defenders. Wounder if the staff get ear plugs. Great when the business gets a hearing loss claim down the line. No defence.

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louilou96@reddit

My old place did have some for working the party room as it would get insanely loud, but they were just like generic ones you'd get for flights so meant that you'd really struggle to hear customers too haha

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SarkyMs@reddit

Yeah

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SilasMarner77@reddit

Totally agree

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Own_Art_2465@reddit

And we are made out to be the miserable anti social ones because we want to... Be able to talk to people

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Zubi_Q@reddit

I absolutely hate shit like this. Unless I'm in a bar, the music shouldn't be so loud, that I can't hear my friends talking. Makes me so fucking angry!

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Particular_Aide_3825@reddit

A common tactic used in restaurants is to dim music if you want people out. Eg at night. phychologically people will leave

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OrganizationLast7570@reddit

I had that before. I just pulled the cables out the back of the speaker above our heads

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gloomfilter@reddit

I suspect very few people would ever be upset by having music turned down. I use hearing aids and have to chose very carefully where I sit in restaurants - even relatively quiet music just adds noise to the environment and makes it harder to hear conversation.

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Kyla_3049@reddit

Have you looked on your hearing aid control box or app for a vocal blost or noise reduction option?

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gloomfilter@reddit

Yes, I use all of the features of my hearing aids, which are pretty high end ones. They aren't a panacea though and noisy environments are still challenging. I also have an external microphone device that does help in such situations (and in the office etc.). It's a definite improvement in terms of comprehensibility, but there's a limit to what can be technically done when there's a lot of ambient sound present.

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5c044@reddit

The acoustics are terrible in many restaurants. A former sound engineer friend had a good side hustle improving acoustics for restaurants using special sound absorbing panels. Pizza Express contracted with him to do that in their restaurants. OP's particular restaurant likely has the music to dampen down various table's conversations echoing round the place

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Sominiously023@reddit

That sounds like a bs response from the wait staff. Best to find a more accommodating lunch spot.

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Any_Blacksmith4877@reddit

It's acceptable to ask. It's also acceptable for them to say no.

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dglcomputers@reddit

The band Kraftwerk had a solution for awful shop muzak when they toured america, insulated wire clippers!

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JazHaz@reddit

You should have walked out without paying.

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ShartiesBigDay@reddit

I think it’s TOTALLY acceptable, if you continue to be polite when they say they can’t. I think it’s unwise for restaurants to have loud music unless they don’t want people to eat there and are encouraging takeout only. It’s a really bizarre annoying thing. I do not get it.

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wandering_salad@reddit

I feel a lot of places have very, very loud/intrusive music these days. Not just clubs (the volume levels are often so loud they will cause hearing damage over time), but also pubs, restaurants, coffee places. These days I refuse to risk my ears, my comfort, and have my social time that I want to chat with my friends disrupted by overly loud music, so if I enter a business and can't find a spot that I feel is quiet enough, I don't sit down but just go elsewhere. Voting with my feet is the only thing these places will understand. I think you were fine asking the music to be turned down, and it's ridiculous they did not lower the volume when a paying customer has asked (you probably weren't the only one who thought the music was too loud).

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spice_queen22@reddit

i used to work at honeygrow and we werent allow to adjust the music either. everyday we had to set it to a certain volume, and it was pretty loud. we had multiple customers ask us to turn it down because they couldnt hear anything. i brought the complaints to corporate but they didnt care. the CEO’s “vision” for the restaurant was that it was supposed to be “loud, hip music” to cater to younger people 🙄

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Kyla_3049@reddit

Was it just the volume control they cared about? If so then try turning down the bass and treble dials or all of the sliders if it's a 3+ band EQ.

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spice_queen22@reddit

honeygrow is a fast casual american place, for people who (probably) haven’t heard of it before. so to make things worse, we had to yell out the customer’s name when their order was ready. can be hard for people to hear when the music is loud lol.

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OTribal_chief@reddit

i go to various shisha lounges and some of them are loud as nightclubs but its thurday 7pm... i just wanna sit there and relax not leave deafened

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_bahnjee_@reddit

Worked at a restaurant while in college. We would crank the music so we could hear it in the kitchen. Owner would come in and turn it down, yelling at us, “Loud music is the perpetually top-ranked customer complaint in the restaurant industry!” If it’s a place you frequent (or would like to, if not for the loud music), bring it up to the owner (or highest local management).

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Kyla_3049@reddit

> crank the music so we could hear it in the kitchen If you're guilty of this, get a Bluetooth speaker.

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jepeggys@reddit

We get this a lot where I work, some songs are different qualities so some are louder than others despite being the same volume. Always happy to turn it down.

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Kyla_3049@reddit

How are you getting the music? Try turning on volume normalisation if it's a music streaming app like Spotify, or turning on replaygain if it's MP3s.

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371_idle_wit@reddit

This is one of the main reasons I don't enjoy getting out much these days. It seems to happen in lots of places; pubs, cafés, restaurants, you name it, and its incredibly irritating and ruins what is supposed to be a nice social occasion. I kinda wish there was a website that allowed people to rate places on their ambiance as well as their actual food/service, then it might be possible to see which places are typically too loud and hostile, and which places are calm and relaxing.

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Forward-Net-8335@reddit

Why is this site so full of utterly miserable people?

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SnapeVoldemort@reddit

Could there be a disability discrimination issue here if a hard of hearing person asked ?

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venus_e2@reddit

Used to work in a restaurant and we'd always gladly do this. Don't see the point of having a "policy" of not changing the volume. The music in my workplace was controlled on an iPad that was hanging on for dear life on a shelf in the back. Not difficult to adjust the volume, most of the guests won't even notice anyway.

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Majestic-Prompt-9723@reddit

Totally reasonable.

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Forever_a_Kumquat@reddit

As someone with hearing issues, nothing puts me off a pub or restaurant faster than obscenely loud music. Absolutely no need. People go there to eat and chat, it's not a bloody nightclub. 100% write an email to them.

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Advanced_Couple_3488@reddit

I had a colleague who had a cochlear implant. Whenever she would be lunching with us, we'd ask for the music to be turned down or off. We never once had the request refused. Perhaps, when staff can see the person wearing the transducer it elicits a more sympathetic response than asking because someone has a hearing impairment and they can't spot a hearing aid?

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ImpressNice299@reddit

Another thing I like about Spoons. No background music.

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Odd_Fox_1944@reddit

BS they couldn't adjust the volume. Of course they can, they didn't want to. Just leave a negative review, food ok, atmosphere awful as music overwhelmed conversation and staff refused to turn it down. That, or insist a reduced bill due to the unpleasantness

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TSC-99@reddit

I find music too loud quite often due to autism. It’s frustrating. I don’t understand how people manage 🤣

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DoftheD@reddit (OP)

Yeah, I have ADHD and I can’t cope with too many auditory channels incoming at once. I can cope most of the time for a couple of hours in a noisy environment but I will leave with a headache and need a lie down after.

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AonghusMacKilkenny@reddit

What do you do for a living? I've worked in bars, restaurants, call centres, gyms and the constant noise is just too much for me, especially as hearing loss runs in my family

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TSC-99@reddit

Loops do help but I always forget them! There are cheap versions on Amazon for a quarter of the price.

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witchypoo63@reddit

Maybe it’s done on purpose so that you eat quickly and don’t linger, then they can increase customer turnover . It drives me nuts too and there’s nothing wrong with my hearing

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shaneo632@reddit

I hear this theory a lot but it seems so ridiculous to me. Why would a restaurant rush you out the door with loud music and a generally unwelcoming vibe, almost certainly ensuring you'll never come back? Would be idiotically short-sighted of any business owner to do that when there are other ways to get customers out quickly - speedy service for one.

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witchypoo63@reddit

Probably the same reason they have sittings and try to rush you through courses. Some touristy places aren’t that bothered about return customers

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AonghusMacKilkenny@reddit

Went to a restaurant last Saturday evening, place was packed out, music blasting, we finished our starter and main just *40 minutes* from arrival.

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Own_Art_2465@reddit

Yeah they could get the same result with bad food. It's nonsense

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Cyanopicacooki@reddit

Yes, very much so, and if possible go to Tripadvisor and leave a review saying so. (the universal remote built into my phone has come in handy on occasion)

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QuiteFrankE@reddit

I didn’t know my phone had this feature until I read your comment and checked! Thank you for this tip. I am going to be trying this.

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Indigo_222@reddit

Wait, do iphones have this? Where?

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QuiteFrankE@reddit

I just searched for “remote” and it came up.

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richardjohn@reddit

That’s for devices on your network that support it. iPhones don’t have an IR sender.

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QuiteFrankE@reddit

😩

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Indigo_222@reddit

Thank you

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ScaryButt@reddit

Google maps first, people are much more likely to read that than TripAdvisor

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SlippersParty2024@reddit

Interesting!

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picklin_allthethings@reddit

Yes. Had this happen at the coffee shop I worked at. We often put it up because the speakers are at the back of the house, so when we are opening or relaxing while it’s slow and cleaning, it’s louder. We don’t always know how loud it is because we’re up front. Especially when I was younger I was a little less tuned in to making a space audibly pleasant to others. Had some folks ask if we might be able to turn it down a little. Asked rudely and politely. Either way I turned it down without hesitation.

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Beautiful-Peak399@reddit

Sorry for their loss but I think they’re being unrealistic not to expect speculation about the circumstances of his death.

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Mrs_B-@reddit

I wear hearing aids and background music in stores and restaurant is a pet peeve of mine. I have actually left shops where the music is too loud. I agree with another comment to message the management. Trip Advisor is a great thing. Don't post an unnecessarily bad review, just be honest. E.g, food is great, price good, staff friendly, but the music policy spoils the experience.

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throwaway_t6788@reddit

i agree . even at pubs sometimes they have music so loud and how the f are u supposed 2 have a conversation.. totally ridiculous

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HammerMedia@reddit

I've been to places where it was clearly the policy to have loud music. Every time I went to an otherwise great Burrito place, I would have to repeat my order several times. Next time I went in, blasting music again. I stopped going. This is also the reason I stopped hanging out at bars. I hate having to yell and say "WHAT??" 50 times in a night just to have a convo. And why else are you at the bar? All that to say, you know where not to eat lunch next time. But I'll add, I took my newborn daughter to a family restaurant once and was really nervous that her constant newborn screaming would piss off other diners. But their music was so loud, no one could hear her at all! So, thanks, obnoxious restaurant. I guess.

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Kralgore@reddit

Of course it is. Ridiculous having music louder than conversational level. It should be for light back ground only.

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CedrikNobs@reddit

Excuse me love, this is a restaurant not and effing night club! Thank you

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Soggy_Parsley_2006@reddit

I’m going off the title alone here. I worked in a restaurant. People would ask this occasionally. We set the music before we open, people turn up and their chatter plus the music means sometimes you can’t hear well. We don’t notice it because we’ve adjusted throughout the course of the day or night. Just ask. It’s fine.

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anotherbozo@reddit

>Staff said they’re not allowed to adjust the volume as per restaurant policy, so couldn’t grant our request. At this point, I would ask them for the bill and leave. The point of having a meal out is socialising. If I can't socialise, what am I there for?

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TheMusicArchivist@reddit

If it's loud enough to annoy a patron in ten minutes it is also loud enough to permanently damage the hearing of the staff; noise damage is not just one-off loudness but also sustained loudness, and halving the decibels only means someone can survive the noise twice as long.

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hoganpaul@reddit

Don't tip. Don't go back.

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merlin8922g@reddit

I see old people wince and look up at speakers all the time in pubs and restaurants. It fucking sucks with hearing aids. My mum wears them and so does my daughter. My hearings fine but i still hate anything other than very quiet background music in those settings. Putting restrictions on staff like that and not allowing them to exercise good judgement OR employing staff too thick to realise when to use some initiative is going to have a negative impact on business.

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herefromthere@reddit

I have ADHD and associated auditory processing and sensitivity disorders. There are a lot of restaurants that I simply can't relax in, so it doesn't matter how good the food is, if it's a noisy barn I'm going to avoid it. As others have mentioned, open spaces and industrial theming with no soft furnishings or small corners make it a squillion times worse. Cinemas are bad too. I had to walk out of Oppenheimer because the sound design was so awful and the volume it was played at was literally sickening. Added to this, my hobby is Latin Social Dance (Salsa/Bachata) and a lot of the people who do that want to feel the music thumping through them because they've become deaf due to the unacceptably high volume of the music that they expose themselves to several times a week for years. I get it. I'M THE ONE THAT'S OVERSENSITIVE. But it doesn't mean I am wrong when I ask if something could be turned down to a level that doesn't cause damage. Under 85 decibels would still be fine.

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NuzzleTheNozzle@reddit

I asked for it to be turned down recently. The staff seemed to have ramped it up for a party as it’s never normally that loud there. I was trying to settle my baby to sleep, but regardless, I realised I was starting to lose my voice from shouting to the people next to me. They turned it down but I’m sure it crept up again.

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Blackintosh@reddit

If I couldn't leave the restaurant, I'd go and unplug the speakers. I'm generally not one to speak up about things that bother me, but music too loud when it doesn't need to be... I hate it.

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tttttfffff@reddit

You wouldn’t just go unplug the speakers cmon now

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Leading_Screen_4216@reddit

Of course they would. And everyone would clap.

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AnonymousTimewaster@reddit

https://preview.redd.it/0bzy4rnw6cme1.jpeg?width=914&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=232d94cfb6657e3a01e2801e640eb69f04f3cbe8 OP

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space_coyote_86@reddit

Completely with you; nobody goes out to Sunday lunch to listen to music. It should be quiet and in the background if at all.

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Peter_gggg@reddit

My hearing is 20% down on what it was I regularly ask in coffee shops - blaming my friend "Don't know if you can help, my friend has some hearing difficulties, and is struggling to hear me . Any chance you could turn the music volume , down?) Often the music is set toa certain volume for the the staff because they like it.

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Graz279@reddit

Totally. I accept that a bit of background music in a restaurant can add to the whole ambience but it shouldn't be so loud that you can't have a conversation over it. I have an auditory processing disorder so I really struggle to have conversations in noisy environments, if the background noise is sufficiently loud I have no clue as to what people are saying. So I really sympathise with this and would probably suggest that I would take my custom elsewhere if they refused to do anything.

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pinkthreadedwrist@reddit

...if I have perfect hearing, but can't hear or understand people when there is background noise, is that an auditory processing disorder? I was always confused because I can hear WELL but in so many situations it's also extremely difficult for me to understand.

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red_nick@reddit

I think I have this too

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yourmomsajoke@reddit

I also have APD and I wear loops engage+ to tune out background noise and hear just the people I'm with, they're amazing.

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thingsliveundermybed@reddit

I've found Loop Engage earplugs really helpful for that, and they're discreet as well so I don't feel self-conscious!

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RevolutionaryHat4311@reddit

You can’t please all of the people all of the time It’s ok to have your own opinion Someone will always be opposite, and that’s ok too

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brithuman@reddit

As an autistic it certainly should be 👍

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Organic-Locksmith-45@reddit

I’ve done this before and really got it in the neck from the people I was with. I don’t understand this world!

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MissCaldonia@reddit

I had this in a coffee shop once, I genuinely couldn’t hear what the staff were saying and they couldn’t hear me. It wasn’t just a me issue as the other customer couldn’t hear either! I asked them to turn it down as I couldn’t hear and they refused so I went elsewhere.

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Sad_Introduction8995@reddit

This problem seriously affects where I can book restaurants for meals with my dad. A poor choice and he will just sit in silence because he can’t hear us. I won’t be seated under a speaker. My hearing is fine (officially) but no-one else can compete with a constant noise close to me.

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AnimalCreative4388@reddit

Hearing aids are directional, unless they were pointed directly at the speaker that wouldn’t be the case. This stinks of another case of Reddit bullshit karma farm.

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FenianBastard847@reddit

Yes. I too hate loud music in a resto.

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andytimms67@reddit

No. I worked blood sweat and tears into that system to get the BGM working. You’ll damn well sit there and enjoy it…

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liltrex94@reddit

If you have to ask for the music to be turned down at a restaurant, you may as well be in a night club. Totally acceptable to request they turn it down. Paying to dine out with family, friends or colleagues is more enjoyable when able to hold a conversation. If you keep having to yell or say 'what did you say?' Is really unpleasant and makes the whole situation unnecessarily stressful. I just want to enjoy my time catching up with people I love/care about. Background music needs to be background music. Im paying for a meal and pleasant atmosphere, not a concert/nightclub (which can both be pleasant if that's what I signed up for)

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withheadheartandhand@reddit

It is acceptable to ask. And even if there is a quieter place to sit or move to. But for future, you are probably going to swerve going back with the same people. I have a favorite pub to eat out. It is dog friendly. I don't mind dogs but I do not enjoy dogs barking. I do not like dogs barking because it puts me on edge when I am trying to have a relaxed meal. For future meals I would rather go somewhere else if I can't have a table in the no dog part of the pub. We usually sit in the other area, but we were late booking last time.

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gromitrules@reddit

If you find yourself in a situation like this again, I recommend asking for the manager and remind them about their legal responsibility to accommodate disabilities. Being deaf/hard of hearing is a disability and their policy is denying reasonable accommodation. Watch them panic and finding ways of dealing with it (as well they bloody well should).

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sumfuca@reddit

It's a reasonable request, it's also reasonable for them to tell you to get lost because it's their place and that's how they run it.

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SuzLouA@reddit

I would have asked to speak to the supervisor on duty and explained to them that members of your party are hearing aid users and are struggling with the loud music, would it be possible to please turn it down a bit or move you to a quieter area of the pub? You needed the special combination of person with authority + disabled customer with a reasonable request for an accommodation who isn’t being catered to. Without both, you don’t get someone who is scared enough of bad publicity and has the authority to avoid it. Ordinary members don’t care about bad publicity because they’re not invested in the business’ success, and they don’t have the authority to override what the boss wants anyway.

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RositaZetaJones@reddit

It’s acceptable and a bit ridiculous the staff weren’t allowed to adjust the volume.

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_DG____@reddit

I once asked the restaurant to stop playing pan pipe music. We were the only customers mind.

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CaveJohnson82@reddit

Of course it's ok to ask. Why would you think it's not?

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DrHydeous@reddit

I would consider that turning the music down in a restaurant would be a "reasonable adjustment" for the disability of being hard of hearing. About the only time it wouldn't be is if it was made clear outside the venue that there was live music or dancing. So yes, it is acceptable to ask.

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WeSavedLives@reddit

Yes. But it's also acceptable for them to say no.

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Smooth-Flight3305@reddit

Name and shame, here it is usually a quiet pub lunch and I cannot remember the last time music was playing. Is this a city thing?

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No_Pomegranate1114@reddit

We’ve refused to be seated in a restaurant that was playing loud music. I found what looked like a lovely restaurant for mum’s birthday on our trip to Blackpool. Got there and there was live music that wasn’t advertised at the time of us booking. It was super loud to the point you had to shout across the table. They said we could sit outside, but it was cold and we couldn’t order from the main menu. We walked out and told the restaurant our reasons. The live music was garbage too, singer was dreadful.

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Draculaaaaaaaaaaahhh@reddit

It's totally acceptable. I went for a business meal last week, and a woman on the next table next to us was playing a video on full volume on her phone, and the music was on loud in the restaurant. She wouldn't turn the video down or wear earphones. Other people complained. Staff did nothing. I wear hearing aids. I couldn't hear the conversation I was supposed to be having, nor could the people I was with. It was noise overload and made me feel ill. We left after the first drink, cancelled the rest of the meal, and spent our money somewhere quieter.

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Firstpoet@reddit

Headphone brain syndrome. These idiots have lost all idea of what 'ambient' ought to be. That includes bellowing customers too. It's called talking, not shouting.

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Goldf_sh4@reddit

It's reasonable to ask. I would go somewhere different next time. I expect most places would have been happy to say yes to this. You could always send in a complaint.

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loveswimmingpools@reddit

It's completely acceptable. The music should be changed according to the clientele. Or something playing quietly that's inoffensive like Sinatra type music.

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SpudFire@reddit

I wouldn't worry about encroaching on others that are enjoying it because anybody that is going to a restaurant to listen to background music is clearly insane. Its supposed to be background music. If it's so loud that you're struggling to hold a conversation, it's no longer background music. It's not Friday night in Spoons.

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_dmdb_@reddit

Never been more mortified than my mother reaching up to the speaker above our table and yanking the wires out after the restaurant said they couldn't turn it down. Now I am a little bit older I would probably do the same thing.

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queenawkwardfart@reddit

Totally reasonable. Some restaurants have different volumes and mucus styles depending on the time of day. Sometimes adjustments forget to be made. 😀 I think it's likely that if you felt that way others may also have felt the same

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X0AN@reddit

Was out for lunch with the whole family the other day, we're having a normal conversation in a fairly quiet restaurant, then suddenly music absolutely starts blaring above my head, like rave level loud. So obviously I asked the waiter to please turn it down, which he did, to background level volume. I then heard a very loud 'fuck em' coming from the back and the music going up again. So we didn't argue, we all just got up and left and vowed never to return. Only person I felt bad for was our waiter as he just lost out on a fairly decent tip. I'm hoping he then went and called out the rude twat in the back.

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Glittering-Sink9930@reddit

>Only person I felt bad for was our waiter as he just lost out on a fairly decent tip. I'm hoping he then went and called out the rude twat in the back. He didn't care. Tips are not expected in this country.

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JustMMlurkingMM@reddit

The music is loud, and usually high tempo, to make you eat faster and get out. If you are relaxed, chatty and taking your time they can get fewer people through those tables and make less money. It’s psychological marketing, and you are the target. This is why the staff can’t turn the music down, if it’s annoying you it’s doing the job.

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Prestigious-Slide-73@reddit

There is research that shows increased tempo and volume increases table turnover, even at the sacrifice of customer enjoyment.

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miffyonabike@reddit

Sounds like a reasonable adjustment under the Equality Act 2010. Please complain!

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Mundane-Tiger-7642@reddit

Yes, it's acceptable to ask. And it's acceptable to leave if they won't turn it down.

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BugPsychological4836@reddit

Im guessing whoever owns the pub likes loud music

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Ill-Case-6048@reddit

I wish they turn the gym music down we don't want to here you shitty music and ads through our headphones...

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mildOrWILD65@reddit

Ate at a chain Italian restaurant with my parents, last night, little more upscale than most No music was a pleasant surprise!

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SpringerGirl19@reddit

Strange that they said no when you gave a completely legitimate reason and there's literally 0 benefit to them to keep the music on.

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Glittering-Sink9930@reddit

When the music is loud, people eat and drink more quickly, then leave.

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_FreddieLovesDelilah@reddit

I once did this in a supermarket cafe. And by that I mean my mum went and asked for me haha. As it turns out I have autism (didn’t know back then, just thought it was anxiety) which explains how triggering the loud music was. They were nice and turned it down.

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buy_me_a_pint@reddit

When we are the only ones in the restaurant, we asked for it to be turned down/off

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JeffBroccoli@reddit

If it’s loud enough that you can’t have a normal conversation at speaking volume, then the restaurant has fucked up

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Mr-Incy@reddit

I would have asked to speak to the manager, if the volume is loud enough to make having a conversation at your table difficult, then it is too loud.

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BellamyRFC54@reddit

I despair

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The_Deadly_Tikka@reddit

I've never understood music playing in a restaurant. However this sounds more like a pub that serves some food

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Fresh-Jello-6018@reddit

Whatever about asking to turn it down, I’ve worked in a few restaurants that say “yep no problem I’ll turn it down right now” then just pretend to turn it down so I think you’re shit outta luck for quite a few places.

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stanley15@reddit

It absolutely is a reasonable request and we have done it several times with success, especially if we were seated under one of the speakers. The problem is that the volume sometimes auto-adjusts to the noise in the pub, so as pub chatter gets louder so does the music. There is always a volume control behind the bar somewhere. If they refuse leave them a one star review and go elsewhere.

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itsapotatosalad@reddit

Did the music get louder after you’d arrived, sat down and ordered or was it like that when you got there? If it was like that when you got there then no , but if it suddenly got turned up louder out of nowhere then yeah ask away.

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DoftheD@reddit (OP)

Got louder after arriving, and busier so everyone had to talk more loudly to compensate

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itsapotatosalad@reddit

Yeah I wouldn’t have an issue asking at all in that circumstance. I’d have probably asked why the music got louder too if they can’t change the volume.

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Midnight7000@reddit

In my opinion, no. I see it as somewhat self-centred. You know that the place is playing loud music, you decide to sit down and order, you then ask that they change things to accommodate your group. If you don't like it, go somewhere else or mention it as a negative in the review. The exception is if they started to play loud music after sitting down and ordering.

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Gothiccheese95@reddit

You should have just started dancing in the waiters way, if they’re gunna insist on playing music loud enough to be a club then show me to the dance floor.

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misanthreddit@reddit

Honestly if you are annoyed by the type of music in a restaurant it's too loud. It should be background music to fill the void.

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Dry-Magician1415@reddit

I hate this. You’re either a pub or a club. You can’t be both.

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Waits-nervously@reddit

Totally okay to ask, totally okay for them to refuse, totally okay for you to leave before you order, totally okay to tip zero if you stay, totally okay to leave a no star review

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RevolutionaryDebt200@reddit

Yes, it is acceptable to ask for music to be turned down, and to leave if it is too intrusive/uncomfortable (pay for anything taken first, obviously). For staff to say they can't turn it down is rubbish, they just don't want to get involved

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WVA1999@reddit

nothing worse than forced "ambience". Yes.

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Responsible-Tart-721@reddit

If a restaurant is playing loud music, I walk out. I'm not going to yell across the table.

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Annual-Ad-7780@reddit

It's a perfectly reasonable request, especially considering the "noise" that calls itself "music" these days, poor form from the Restaurant to deny it.

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ClericalRogue@reddit

Completely acceptable. It's a restaurant, not a nightclub. You'd expect to be able to hear the person sitting across from you without struggling whilst enjoying your meal. If you can't, the music is too loud. It would put me off eating there personally.

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penguin62@reddit

I will never understand pubs and restaurants with loud music. Quiet and in the background, fine, but I go to a pub to talk to the people I'm with. If I can't hear them and have to strain my voice just to hold a conversation, we'll go somewhere else and spend money where we can actually enjoy our time.

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BeardedBaldMan@reddit

It's a reasonable request, especially if it's preventing people from hearing normal conversation. I'm petty enough that I'd leave a negative review highlighting that and the response from the staff.

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martin__t@reddit

That's not pretty!

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HELMET_OF_CECH@reddit

> Staff said they’re not allowed to adjust the volume as per restaurant policy, so couldn’t grant our request. And I'd never come back and I'd make it clear to the landlord of this shitty pub lmao. If it's a chain bang in a complaint. Have a family member who is deaf and I make this request all the time on their behalf and usually you always need to speak to the landlord/manager because everyone else is often reluctant to make any accommodations.

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thingsliveundermybed@reddit

It's so annoying, I have trouble with auditory processing and I've had nights out ruined because so many pubs - with no dancefloor - want to have fecking DJs and blaring music.

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craigybacha@reddit

Just don't go to that restaurant.

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FuckTheSeagulls@reddit

Ideally, walk out straight away.

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DoftheD@reddit (OP)

Probably won’t after today!

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TwinSong@reddit

I once went to a speed dating event that was held in a very loud cocktail bar, the music was deafening! I couldn't hear a thing anyone was saying.

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Acrobatic_Extent_360@reddit

Totally fair to ask. Equally fair for them to refuse. I would probably go somewhere else, agree most people want a quiet sunday lunch. But might be nice to have somewhere catering for the "want a roast and disco" crowd.

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Terrible_Awareness29@reddit

Sounds like a 3-star review, "Shame that staff aren't allowed to turn the intrusive music down, can't go back until that's fixed", would be doing a favour to both management and customers.

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TobyChan@reddit

You can ask, they can oblige or refuse, you can choose to stay or leave.

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buffybot232@reddit

Is it a popular place? Some restaurants have loud music purposely to ensure faster turnovers.

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Simple_Yak_9929@reddit

I hate loud music at restaurants and bars!

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Mongladoid@reddit

Perfectly acceptable, I’ve left a restaurant before because of the same reason. They have a right not to turn it down, and we have a right to take our custom elsewhere

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FloydEGag@reddit

Same, there’s no need to suddenly whack the music up to club levels at half seven on a Tuesday (although that place is now closed…) or indeed any day

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SatinwithLatin@reddit

Friend and I went to a brunch/bistro place and decided to sit outside because indoors was packed. A minute after sitting down the speakers started to blast what sounded like a teenaged staff members' Spotify. We could have asked them to turn it down but with a couple of other minor factors in mind we walked off instead.

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scouse_git@reddit

Give them a low starred review on Google maps and explain why. The tone of the review should along the lines of a good meal ruined by loud music and staff refusing a reasonable request.

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Bc2193@reddit

I dread going to a pub or restaurant, waking in and realising that for the entire time, I will barely be able to hear the person next to me because of the music. It's so annoying. So no, not an unreasonable request and I would definitely follow it up with an email since it's a bizarre stupid policy.

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oPlayer2o@reddit

Yes it’s fine ask, I couldn’t say if they would do it or not but you should definitely feel okay about asking and if it were my restaurant I would turn it down for you. I’ve never heard of a restaurant having a “music volume policy” that sounds like bull shit to me and Ive spent 10ish years in the industry.

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Ok-Kitchen2768@reddit

I HATE places that do this, exceptions for live music but I've still been to places where the live music isn't deafeningly loud. I've never considered to ask in a restaurant but I think I might start asking because I really don't know who likes this? Background music is fine, but it should not be overpowering my ability to have a conversation and it usually is.

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Floss84@reddit

I work in a restaurant, one that is part of a huge chain, and we absolutely can turn the volume down if we want. I've worked in other restaurants that are also guided by company policy at every turn and I've never seen volume control being something they have rules about! If we were asked this we would absolutely turn it down.

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SpectrumPalette@reddit

Birdies Kitchen in Digbeth, Birmingham. I went there during the day with some friends for food and the music was too loud we couldn't hear anyone talking in our group. One of us went up to ask if they could turn the music down and they did for a second then the volume crept up again

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ComprehensiveSwim882@reddit

My wife does that shit all the time.

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mylovelyhorsie@reddit

It’s a perfectly reasonable request and given the response, I’d not go back

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SmegmaSandwich69420@reddit

It's always acceptable to ask as long as you understand you might not get the answer you want.

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Mobile_Falcon8639@reddit

No itsnot at all unreasonable. I asked a restaurant to turn down the most awful music a few weeks ago. And they reluctantly did. I'm not asking them to turn it off, just down a bit. If you think how much you're paying for the meal etc.its not at all u reasonable to politely ask if they could turn the music down a notch.

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regular_me_101@reddit

People hide behind “policy” Might be a policy to have music playing, or not have it above a certain level, but surely ok to turn it down?? Went to PuttShack and they had a DJ. Ok. Cool. But I was there with friends and we couldn’t speak while playing a round of putt putt because the DJ kept cranking the volume up. It’s Puttshack mate. Not Ibiza.

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No-Yak-4360@reddit

I hear it helps raise drink sales when people cant talk. Hence the policy I guess.

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Diddleymaz@reddit

Too loud music can ruin a good family or friends meal out. It should be subtle background not dj set!

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catism_@reddit

If it isn't acceptable it should be

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Adventurous_Rock294@reddit

When you struggle to have a normal conversation across a dinner table because of the music then there is something seriously wrong !

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SlippersParty2024@reddit

I’m with you, OP, and recommend the SoundPrint app.

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HonkyBoo@reddit

Did the volume increase as you were sitting in the restaurant? Only reason I ask is that I'd have immediately left otherwise, as soon as I heard the music volume.

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Due_Tailor1412@reddit

That's easy to SAY and like you if was just me and my wife, on a night when we could find somewhere else to eat easily. But if there are 8 of you including the inlaws on Sunday. You won't get anywhere else to eat so you kinda have to suck it up.

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HonkyBoo@reddit

Yeah that is a really fair point actually.

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Due_Tailor1412@reddit

Doesn't make the review any less of a stinker ..

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DoftheD@reddit (OP)

No they didn’t, the music seemed a bit more chill when we arrived but I did note it was a bit louder than when I’ve visited before. I don’t know if they’re using streaming playlists but some tracks sounded louder than others too. I assume they were because the genres were quite mixed. I’ve asked before for music volume to be adjusted on the odd occasion and I can’t remember being refused before, so I was a bit surprised when we were and by then it was a bit late.

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HonkyBoo@reddit

I worked for Vodafone for 8 years on the highstreet, and left in 2017. We had no access to the volume or the music that played in store. It was entirely controlled by a system that head office had placed within the store. We couldn’t even pause it, restart a track or anything. It was just on when we got to work in the morning. Was it a chain restaurant?

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DoftheD@reddit (OP)

No, I think it’s owned by a large but local brewery (think county wide). It’s meant to be quite a nice place to go

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boudicas_shield@reddit

This does seem to happen to me somewhat often, we’ll be in a pleasant space and then suddenly they crank the volume out of nowhere. I’m sure there’s a reason for it, but I hate it when it happens.

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arioandy@reddit

If you cant hear each other absolutely

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Annual_Version_6250@reddit

I think its reasonable. There are restaurants I refuse to go to because they play their music so loud I can't hear anyone talking and end up walking out with a headache.

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Scoobymad555@reddit

Reasonable request imo. Don't mind some background music but I go to restaurants to be sociable with the people I'm there with. Appreciate it's a pub too in this case but you're talking about a Sunday lunch/dinner not a Friday night. Honestly I'd probably have gone a step further and asked for a manager if it was that bad.

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New-Preference-5136@reddit

I'm not brave enough to do that but I thank anyone who is. I can't even speak to people right next to me

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Psychological-Fox97@reddit

My partner and I went to a mini food hall type plave a few Sundays ago. They had a live band playing and although it was fairly laid back jazz it was still too loud for us to discuss the different food options, so we just left.

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unalive-robot@reddit

Was it a pub or a restaurant? Or like one of those places that's weirdly both? I would argue that pub outweighs the "restaurant" aspect, so that should be their priority. And lively pubs make more money generally. But if its a nice sit down place then sure.

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DoftheD@reddit (OP)

It’s both and has separate areas for dining and a bar. Both are large enough to be standalone venues, and having visited before the music was different in both areas so must have their own systems.

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unalive-robot@reddit

If the spaces are separate, then it is totally reasonable.

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Matt_Moto_93@reddit

I think it was a very reasonable request. Really, it should have been redirected to the manager, who could have come and had a conversation with you.

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lunaj1999@reddit

It’s reasonable. I was bar staff/a waitress years ago in a chain pub and were were not allowed to touch the stereo system, it seems petty I know but those were the rules. Next time, ask to speak to the manager and request them to turn it down (if the wait/bar staff say no).

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Intruder313@reddit

It’s fine I even did it on a coach once as it was painfully loud and a few CM from my ears Everyone on the trip was really old so they had set it to earbursting levels

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Tall-Ad8198@reddit

Totally reasonable. It's a restaurant not a nightclub.

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quellflynn@reddit

it's a reasonable request, but the staff might not have access to the tech side of things. id drop the pub an email just to voice your opinion.

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Intelligent-SoupGS88@reddit

To be honest, if it was impacting you and those at your table, the chances are it was also impacting others who are more scared/shy of speaking up. Definitely is acceptable to ask. As others have said, you could leave the feedback in a review or email the restaurant after to make them aware.

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Pockysocks@reddit

It's perfectly reasonable request. It's not a night club after all. Might want to leave some public feedback about it.

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NoisyBrat2000@reddit

Always

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