If it's 10:00am on a Sat morning and it's a younger person, clearly hungover, that's fine (and I remember those days fondly)
If it's mum on her way to collect the kids from school at 2:30pm Wed in big Tesco, pack of cigs hanging out the pocket and complete with slippers, I'm judging five ways from Sunday!
Whenever people in PJs in shops comes up, you get people jumping on others saying "why do you care what people wear" or being called a snob.
Well, I don't really *care*, but I, and many other people, will pick up on it and consider you a bit of a slob. It looks like you've been lazy and therefore other people pick up on that.
I've only just started wearing pyjamas recently, but a couple of weeks ago I was making coffee just after waking up and realised the milk had turned. I only live 100m away from the Sainsbury's local so I popped on a hoody and trotted off in my crocs and pyjamas.
It never once occurred to me that someone could take such a small action from someone they don't know and come to a judgement about them. I see people in pyjamas all the time and just assumed it was fairly normal.
Its incredibly slobby.. and unhygienic to wear bed clothes outside, like what about puddles and dog shit… is gross. My thought wouldnt go beyond ‘thats weird/gross/slobby’ and I definitely wouldnt treat them differently, would just assume they are depressed or maybe recently homeless/kicked out
I personally don't wear the same pyjamas two nights in a row so that wouldn't be an issue for me.
I hadn't really thought about it until today, but I guess I would have assumed people aren't wearing the pyjamas to bed if they've been out in them and that they were very local.
Barney Stinson pulled it off in how I met your mother tbf.
I could understand maybe at a gym, certainly at work or in a school but if I see it in a shop I don't have that reaction.
Maybe it depends on your background, as for me I definitely *don't* see people in their pyjamas all the time and certainly didn't growing up either. To me, pyjamas are for sleeping in. Therefore it looks very odd to see it out of context.
That would make sense, and I definitely didn't really see it much growing up either. My point was that it seems like an extremely small amount of information to judge someone on.
I don't do it because a part of me is terrified that something would happen that meant I wouldn't be able to go straight home.
God forbid something happened in the shop and I'm standing around chatting to staff/police/paramedics in my Simpsons PJs.
The confusion for me is mostly when they are full PJ. As in dressing gown and walking around outside in slippers. It is a faff getting entirely dressed for a quick job outside, fine, but you can put shoes and a coat on surely.
Littering. Its on my list of "Minor offences that I'd consider punishing by death"
I'm 40, travelled the world, have kids and all that jazz and I genuinely don't think I've littered once in my life. Filthy behaviour.
I actually think that a lot of minor infractions are what contribute to people feeling at ill with the world.
Yes, all this big crimes are awful, but we don’t have to face them on a daily basis. These kinds of anti-social behaviours impact our sense of well-being.
I’m surprised I didn’t get beaten up as a child as I had a habit of approaching teenagers and full grown adults to tell them off for littering. My favourite was when I told off a lad a few years older than me (who was standing right next to a damn bin); he proceeded to give me a mouthful then mooned at me and my friend. A man came out of the shop nearby to assist and lowlife started giving him shit as well. Turns out the man was an off duty police officer. I’ve never seen someone back down and apologise so quickly 😂 (the litterbug, not the police officer)
Well, unfortunately, opting completely out of society is easier said than done and I think conflating the two issues is nothing short of moronic.
But no, I don't shop at Primark.
Face/Neck tattoos.
(Fully expecting to be ganged up on for this one)
I’m generally not a fan of tattoos, but you do you. Each to their own. There’s just something very questionable about wanting to do that to yourself.
Smoking around kids. Just bizarre to me that some people walk along with a pushchair smoking, people know how dangerous it is so ignorance really isn't a excuse uta just being a shitty human being.
Illegal drug use. Okay, addicts are different as they're ill and need help, but those who do coke casually at parties, knowing that a) they don't have to do it) and b) the oceans of blood involved in its production and distribution? Go fuck yourselves.
It's the ridiculous laws that create the black market that let the criminals flourish.
As a tax paying adult I should be able to ingest whatever the hell I want as long as it doesn't hurt someone else in the process.
The laws exist because it used to be freely legal to sell products like comfort water. Learn a bit of history as to why the law exists before starting to work out how to repeal them.
Learn a bit of history you mean like the opium wars. Or like how shamans around the globe have depicted in art and carvings carrying little pouches some which have been found by archaeologists and are full of pyscho active compounds.
Maybe you'd like to go another route and go down the long history Afghanistan has with the poppy.
Suck my fucking nuts.
The opium wars were sued because over 90% of Chinese people were addicted to legally imported opium by the British and the Chinese decided, quite rightly, that it was terrible to have a country full of addicts.
So yes, the opium wars, terrible but had the Chinese restricted its use early on the situation wouldn't have arisen, though in sure the British at the time would've fought other ways to force it upon them.
I guess my point is that humans have always had a natural interest and dependence on various compounds. Some of which have been labeled as "drugs", and that it will always be a human need.
Cocaine like you mentioned is far end of the spectrum just for the fact of the chemical process required to make it and the price it can be sold.
My theory is that if it was regulated manufactured in labs and distributed in a way like alcohol or legal cannabis that it would be far far less harmful to the planet and the consumer.
What you said about would it stop the cartels no they would still be heavy into human trafficking and what not but it would heavly heavily impact their money making abilities which would stop them buying such hi tech weapons and bribing officials.
Money talks mate and with billions of cocain revenue anually anything is possible.
I respect your opinion tho seriously.
It's been legal and manufactured before, I have already mentioned comfort water but laudanum, cocaine and others were all available, legally at pharmacies. It's been done, what you are proposing has been done, the laws came in because babies were dying from being given comfort water - because that's who it was for - babies, to stop them from crying. Laws came in to regulate and things are much better than they were.
But the laws are what they are, and they're not changing anytime soon. That's just how it is. So you now have a choice: don't do this drug, or do it and contribute to heinous violence (and deforestation) in Latin America, and the exploitation of vulnerable people here at home.
Supply and demand baby. The world governments are the largest drug dealers anyway. Lucky I just smoke the finest home grown and don't sling anything up my snoz.
Not that I do nose beers myself these days, but I am interested to hear if you are as opinionated about other products with iffy production lines? Things like fast fashion, coffee, sugar, chocolate etc
It's always this same fucking argument and I am so *tired* of it. Yes, capitalism leads to unethical supply chains, and I am deeply anti-capitalist. No, that doesn't excuse casually taking a drug that has horrific suffering in its supply chain, that its users *know* has a horrific supply chain. All the things you mention are legal, so this magic wand of "legalise drugs and everything will be fine" is fantasy. People need things like clothes and phones. They do *not* need cocaine. And if they do, then they're an addict and that's a different conversation.
Yes, I forgot, I have to live like a monk in order to not be a hypocrite.
I haven't bought anything from Nestlé in years. I hate coffee, but my fiancée ensures that she has fairtrade. Same with chocolate and sugar. We've recently started buying most of our clothes second hand. Is that enough for you?
Your fervour against cocaine users is admirable, but it seems a bit selective. You're right that systemic change is needed, yet you're more outraged by those who indulge in a recreational drug than by the broader injustices of capitalism. It's a bit rich to lecture others on ethics while acknowledging the complexities of the issue.
Perhaps a more consistent approach to addressing exploitation would be more effective?
Oh believe me, I'm regularly angry with capitalism. But my point is, it's *unethical enough* without having to resort to illegal drug use as well! Cokeheads know the supply chain and they do it anyway! I can't wrap my head around that - especially as some of them are proper vegan fairtrade people! They actively try to consume as ethically as possible, other than when they do this one drug at the weekend.
I am pissed off with how the world is going, yes, but I can do sod all about it, so I try and ignore it and try and live life as happily as I can in the circumstances. If that makes me ignorant, then guilty as charged :)
Having to carry my baby through the thick cloud of smoke next to the No Smoking signs into the hospital is a real highlight of any hospital trip. Not sure why they have the signs if no one enforces it.
Yes, when I wheeled my husband out to the car after his successful cancer surgery it was great to be able to take him through a cloud of another cancer, just to keep his options open.
I actually think hospitals should go back to having dedicated smoking areas on their grounds. We all know people are going to find a way, and I think it's a little cruel to expect people who are unlikely to make it past the next few months to also go through nicotine withdrawal on top of the unpleasantness of whatever it is that's already killing them. If there's an official place, they can at least get away from the main entrance.
Parents who prioritise their wants over their child's needs. I mean things like complaining you can't afford new school shoes while chain smoking or showing off your brand new tattoo/piercing/lip fillers/designer trainers/lapdog etc.
Also bad parking. The lines are not just there for decoration.
As a parent of two I agree that parking in parent & child spaces without a child is the work of an utter prick. But I think they there should be a watershed. If it's after 8pm or 9pm then it should be fine.
Maybe once the kids are a bit older it’s not such a big deal but honestly with a baby it’s so hard - getting the space to open the door wide enough to get a baby in and out their car seat then trying to get them in the pram or trolly is a nightmare. That extra space is so helpful and safer
People who don’t move over to make room when walking on the same narrow path
People who slam toilet doors, and especially if they sit in the cubicle right next door to you (when there’s plenty of empty ones further away - I don’t want to hear you pee/poop!)
People who don’t return the trolley to the bay
People who don’t say please or thank you
I went a walk in a royal estate near Balmoral castle and there was a sign at the gate that said to just flick dog poo into the trees using a stick instead of picking it up… was a very perplexing situation
I suppose it is the least worst option for them. In the middle of the path - people stand in it. In a bag - they have to deal with the bins. The absolute worst is in a bag then in a tree. But left to degrade in some undergrowth (as long as it isn't a place people may walk or play) - meh.
A bag for PE kit is hardly the most basic of requirements. A plastic bag works just as well, actually more responsible to use what you have already rather than buying extra bags to appease people with nothing better to do than judge you on your bag. I’d rather the parent prioritise buying food and clothes for the kid than a PE kit bag.
>bag for PE kit is hardly the most basic of requirements
You don't think a bag is basic?
>with nothing better to do than judge you on your bag.
What were you expecting from this thread?
>I’d rather the parent prioritise buying food and clothes for the kid than a PE kit bag.
Tbf, if you're having to prioritise food and clothes over an additional bag, I still think you've failed basic requirements.
A bag may be basic but it isn’t a requirement. Food and practical clothes are a requirement. Requirement implies necessary- if someone is carrying clothes in a plastic bag then why is another bag necessary?
Also have you never heard of someone losing their job or unexpectedly falling into financial difficulties? Is it news to you that there are families out there that don’t have a spare tenner per kid to buy extra bags?
>Also have you never heard of someone losing their job or unexpectedly falling into financial difficulties?
If you're an adult and have an employable skill, it shouldn't take you long to find work. Ashdon, as an adult, if you lose your job you should have enough savings to see you through until your next job. I'm aware some don't, but that's an issue with them. Not me.
>Is it news to you that there are families out there that don’t have a spare tenner per kid to buy extra bags?
Again, if you can't afford a £10, you're the issue.
Just strange that you fixate on a sports bag. Some parents will be doing it for cost as I mentioned before and it’s quite sad that you have such a narrow view on people’s struggles. Some people just don’t like to waste money on useless items- I went to a school that had plenty of rich kids in it and most the kids there took their kit in a plastic bag. It works perfectly well and one less bit of crap to go into landfill at the end of the day. If anything I am more likely to judge the person who obsesses over making sure their kid has every possible item just for appearance’s sake.
Well your spitting comment is absolutely fine, that’s just manners it can be taught and is the type of thing I expected in this thread but judging people on what they can and cannot afford is pretty bleak.
Well no, I'm specifically judging parents that send their children to school with their belongings in a plastic bag. Whether it's down to poverty, laziness, or other.
Plastic Peewee or Plastic Pete was what the bullies used to call poor Peter.
Later the bullies became activists that wore barbour jackets and further shamed Peter for constantly throwing away plastic bags.
Taking drugs. I understand that they can be addictive and hard to fight, but you know, just don't take them in the first place. You have the willpower to say no.
(I understand that certain situations are an exception, for example if someone was given drugs unknowingly, or while they were young and naive, but if you're taking drugs as an adult, and you knew you were doing it and intended to, I'm gonna judge you.
Teeth. If you have a mouth like a mile of bad road, I'm judging you. Not like if they're just wonky or chipped, I mean when they're left to get filthy decayed covered in plaque and probably stink of gum disease, I'm not getting close enough to find out. Just no. Get away from me
So, I was rather blunt in my answer, sorry. In my direct experience with multiple baby dads/mums no-one has ever lost a parent and then gone on to have more children with a new partner.
I very much feel though that a step-parent is a big risk to a child. There are so few positive stories of step-parent/child relationships (in my circle, there are no positive ones) and I consider it to carry a risk (bio-parents can be bad guys too, I get that) as it has been here in the UK in recent years.
And, every example in my direct experience is not like yours. It is many children with many partners with broken relationships on all sides. I am yet to see/find a really good blended family dynamic. They absolutely exist, but are few and far between.
I am sorry for upsetting you. It wasn't my intention and I am truly sorry for the loss of your partner.
Call it British conditioning if you want but people who can't keep their composure in public.
I watched someone kicking off at a young lad for fucking up his burger king order the other day. Didn't even give him chance to fix it before spitting his dummy out.
I worked in fast food as a teen- I had people actually tell me that they had had a bad day and so were going to take it out on me if I made a mistake. The person you saw probably intended to kick off at that poor kid regardless. Awful.
I've done my time too. Should be national service really. A year or two behind a till is a formative experience that some people really need.
Told him after, "the secret is to imagine spin kicking them in their fat heads"
My stepdad obsessively talks with his mouth full so much so that he'll be able to say something, stop, put food in his mouth, then say it. I just ignore whatever he's saying until he's stopped.
Men of his age get very stubborn. It's sad. They are losing control of the rest of their lives - their bodies, their appetite, their concentration span, their memory, their sleep cycle, their memory - so when they have a tiny aspect of their life is something they can control, they do.
Just imagine you have a condition like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Multiple Sclerosis or Fibromyalgia or chronic anaemia or...
There are so many conditions that affect energy levels leaving you with a limited amount of energy to spend every day. Imagine you have to choose every day between having a wash or going out for a walk to help your mental health, or cooking yourself a healthy meal or doing a bit of homework. You get by, but your standards have had to slip a bit and you can't help but feel bad about youself.
And then on top of that, someone judges you because you are a bit whifffy.
Autoimmune patient here (RA, CFS) -I've been followed around shops by security because I look like a homeless drug addict during a flare. Its pretty rough being that poorly and forcing yourself out the house to get shopping / medication / whatever, and being treated with suspicion and having to put up with judgemental looks everywhere you go. No matter how ill I feel I wont leave the house without a shower, brushed teeth, clean clothes etc, but the fact remains I just look like hell.
Was in the queue in Boots not too long ago and a girl off one of the make-up counters was offering out free tester sessions, she offered every female in the queue apart from me, just side-eyed me like "Euw" and walked on by. I was already feeling crappy and I was utterly crushed by that snotty little bitch. Couldnt even cry because of my dry autoimmune eyes 😆
Just wanted to say, thank you for making this point! So many people are battling invisible illnesses out there and the world can be really unkind
How do you know that is the case though? Do you ask everyone who smells if there is a reason. Is there a randomised controlled trial to say that most people who smell do not have a reason for not washing that day? Even those without ongoing health conditions can have legitamate reasons for smelling that particular day. Maybe their water got shut off that morning? Maybe someone died and they just didn't feel like washing that morning.
Unless you know for a fact that a person does not have a reason that they have been unable to wash you should not judge them.
>'Don't judge a man
>Until you've been standing in his shoes
>You know that we're all so quick to look away
>'Cause it's the easy thing to do'
Madonna
Parking where they shouldn’t park. There’s literally an empty parking space just ahead but they’ve gone on the verge because they’re too fucking lazy to walk the 39 extra steps
https://preview.redd.it/qazq4doq8ile1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=75a91740563852c93571fee648c6231616b42b31
Stop making excuses for shitty behaviour. It's far more likely that they're just a rubbish person.
As for hidden disability, well as someone that has one, it's patently obvious that I can walk so what sort of garbage human being would I be if I parked like an idiot because I'm disabled.
This is infuriating. Also, maybe just me, but it only seems to be pop and rap that's playing. No-one seems to be playing metal or punk out loud on public transport!
I hit a breaking point on a 3 week tour around south east Asia where I actually went against all instincts and asked a guy to please stop watching tik toks on repeat during a slow and quiet nature trip through a rainforest. Every single place we went it was like earphones or headphones didn’t exist
People who justify bagging dog poo and leaving it in the ground or in trees. Yeah, sure, you're going to pick it up on your way back. You can buy or repurpose all sorts of carrying devices to put a poo bag in. Get to fuck you lazy, selfish bastards.
A fun anecdote, to counteract this negativity, is that I knew an old lady who used to carry her dog poo bags in an old handbag... and got robbed one day. I'd pay to see the thief's face when they opened it.
I don't get how it is ever even a justification. I don't remember bagging up dirty nappies and leaving them in a tree. Or finishing a pack of crisps and thinking I'll pop it on a wall until I walk back the other way. People still have to see it in the meantime.
Only time I do leave it is if I get out the car with my dog and she does a shit straight away so I run back to my car and leave it next to my wheel so I can pick it up when I get back to my car (presuming there’s no bins about). Saves me carrying it around and it’s right there when I get back and not in my car baking in the heat
That's legit. I bought this poo bag holder that keeps smells contained, so I just chuck it the boot now, or my bag if I have one. I can't remember the brand or I'd recommend it!
I try not to be judgemental but it's extremely hard when there's a fucking lot of stupid people about who you just know, as soon as they do or say something. Anything... you immediately question exactly how the hell they function on a daily basis and have got this far.
Im not infallable myself or who avoids doing stupid things now and then by any means...but jeez my initial expectations for most people is quite low but for some folk? holy shit where do these people come from?
Someone could cure all cancers, save a hundred people from a burning building, run a successful business and donate all the profit to charity, win an election, win gold at the olympics.
But if that person ever abused an animal, to me they would always be nothing but an animal abusing scumbag.
I mean technically they are insects and fall under the biological kingdom of animalia.
So yes they do count.
But I’ll be honest, I would still judge someone for burning ants with a magnifying glass.
There's a whole school of thought on this and the justifications that people use as to why they don't do it. It's kind of interesting to be honest. A good amount of people who don't return say it's because it's giving someone a job. The counter to that is, but they have to be paid and so your groceries cost more. Usually they get defensive at that point.
Anyway, the point is, it's becoming a litmus test if a person/society is any good and I agree with it.
Just return your trolley people. It's really not hard.
How they treat people working in hospitality or retail.
No that person isn't 'beneath' you because they are being paid to 'serve' you, so wind your neck in and remember that you are nothing but a whiney little bitch with an overinflated ego.
I don't work, or have ever worked, in retail or hospitality.
Someone in my previous friend group (I moved a long way away so we aren't so close now) who was like this and it was always SO awkward. She was just such a cow to waiters etc, everybody hated it and called her out on it but she just couldn't see the issue.
My boss from about 20 years ago used to do this. We were working on the client's site Mon-Fri every week and staying in a hotel, and we had an evening meal with the boss every day he was on site with us. He'd be really creepy with waitresses, all smiles and touching them on the back, waist or arm; and really short-tempered with waiters, giving them a hard time for the slightest grievance (e.g. a drop of wine had run down the outside of his glass when it was poured, or the meal was taking longer than he'd expected to arrive).
I always used to hope that if they were spitting in his food then they didn't spit in ours, too. Eventually we felt confident enough to just exclude him from our evening plans, although he still tried to tag along if we went somewhere without him.
Public smokers..or those who vape..especially when they blow that smoke onto people's faces. This was very normal in Vienna when we visited. You wouldn't go fart on people's faces..so why blow smoke that is coming from inside your body onto someone else? I judge smokers as rude and selfish.
I grew up when everyone smoked everywhere - in cinemas, restaurants, at the doctors, in buses and cars with closed windows.I have no idea how many people currently have health hazards from passive smoking.
I know you really shouldn't - but people who go to a decent restaurant and then order a well done steak. You're just not eating it right. You may as well get a burger if that's the meat you like.
It is mostly an odd one, like medium is OK and can't claim it is "bloody" or anything, it is still juicy and cooked through. It is like asking for chicken to be cooked until it is dried out and chewy.
Haha yes! And if someone sees a rare or medium steak and makes some comment about "still mooing", then I assume you have the palate of a five year old.
I see why people dont, I always get the burger from places like that and there's always a comment when eating with friends etc.
I've never had a steak better than I can cook at home. And I've never made a burger as good as I can get at a restaurant.
I have been to a steak restaurant that cooked better steak than a steak loving American colleague from a steak-eating place (Kansas). Since then, most steak has been a disappointment.
Shanahan's On the Green, Dublin.. but it's recently closed down.
Those people (and there's plenty of them) who have to have a cigarette at the doorway of the store immediately before they go inside, have to light up again as soon as they come out with their shopping, load up the car, and then light up as they drive out of the car park. And they do it with the kids in the back of the car as well, often with no windows open. WTF is wrong with these people?
If you go on Facebook and post a massive rant about someone that’s done you some sort of wrong like “that bitch Shannon was texting my man again if she don’t stay away from me and my kids I’m gonna have a fight” then you’re a chavvy waster who needs to grow up. Extra points if they post it as a warning to others on some sort of local page. It’s the equivalent of those chavs that have full blown shouting matches in the street
I might get stick for this, but: clothes. Please, for the love of god, put some real clothes on. Dress like an adult.
I will always make a distinction between those who look scruffy based on circumstance and those who look scruffy based on choice. It’s not like I’ve got an issue with someone living on the street with shoddy clothing. It’s people walking around all day in crocs joggers and oversized hoodies.
I’ll never let it sway my interaction with that person, but I will 100% do an internal ‘tut tut’ like I’m a bored, spiteful pensioner.
Smelling could be a sign of mental health issue so I wouldn't judge that. Unless it's someone i have to live with, wouldn't be rude to them though. Spitting, littering, being rude to waitresses is something i can not stand. Especially spitting, I see it daily and it's fucking disgusting.
1. People with no kids but messy / dirty living space
2. People listening to music/calling in speaker with no headphones in public spaces
3. People tailgating
4. People with no situational awareness complaining about phone thieves
5. People sitting beside you in public transport despite of free seats elsewhere
6. People using the neologism "bruv"
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