How do ice cream vans decide their turf?

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papayametallica@reddit

The Glasgow Ice Cream van wars https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasgow_ice_cream_wars

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Das_Gruber@reddit

Back in the 90s, the Ice Cream vans in my area were a racket and fights used to break out when two vans turned up at the same time.

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Ice cream van driver here, it's a tough business - the weather, increasing costs of supply, tax, maintenance, but I never have to worry that someone will take one of my regular spots once I have it, it's just not the done thing.

tl;dr: I got 99 problems but a pitch ain't one.

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Chemical_Film5335@reddit

Hypothetically if I had an ice cream van and you pulled in to one of your regular streets and I was already there what would happen?

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Lanky_Detail3856@reddit

Your ice creams would only bring the boys to the yard if they were proven to be significatly better than mine. I could teach you but I would have to leverage a small fee.

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UserCannotBeVerified@reddit

Depends if you're in Leicester or not...

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re_Claire@reddit

Why Leicester? Has there been an ice cream man uprising since I moved away?

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UserCannotBeVerified@reddit

The ice cream van mafia...

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nothingandnemo@reddit

In Glasgow, they had that literally!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasgow_ice_cream_wars

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Life_Is_A_Mistry@reddit

From Leicester. Can confirm. I once woke up with the severed head of Mr. Whippy next to me. That's why no-one knows what Mr. Whippy actually looks like.

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jollyollster@reddit

Except you. You know too much now… lay low over the summer. Signed, a cone-cerned friend.

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BlueTrin2020@reddit

r/angryupvote

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Appropriate-Cloud948@reddit

That’s actually very good!

Here we go……

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CarpeCyprinidae@reddit

All the hundreds and thousands were used: He got topped

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Dungeoneerious@reddit

Damn right

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jpjimm@reddit

What if I brought all my boys to your pitch? Maybe a small payment and something for free?

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CavCoach@reddit

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XPQQw-rKzH4

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horridbloke@reddit

You would get iced.

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cloud1445@reddit

He’d bust out his Magnum!

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Mistigeblou@reddit

Hypothetically... nothing at all because let's face the stark reality. The pitch doesn't truly belong to anyone unless it's their land.

However there may be:

some (not so) gentle words 'dafuq you playing at you knobhead I've been coming here every week at this time for YEARS'

Or some gentle words 'hey pal I've been coming here for years at this time. The streets over that way have no one or come back here another day'

(maybe down the line you actually team up: Adam does street 1, Bob does street 2 and you both get home at a decent time of day)

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WPorter77@reddit

How do you make money?? Is it your main thing, we get one pulling up on our street before going to quite a busy park, even on a hot day during half term no one ever goes near it. I think it being cash only doesnt help

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BusMuffin@reddit

Where do you pee.....?

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miked999b@reddit

How would anyone know where your pitch is specifically? As in where does it start and where does it end?

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MGMishMash@reddit

The only 99 problem is that they’re now £4, and the flake is an extra 80p!

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DeepStatic@reddit

the name 99 doesn't refer to the price, and they've likely never cost 99p.

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LOTDT@reddit

and they've likely never cost 99p

Bollocks they were 99p for most of my childhood.

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J-bear424@reddit

Maybe the name doesn’t refer to the price but they definitely used to be 99p to buy.

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ab_2404@reddit

Flake 99?

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Wonderful-Parsley-24@reddit

It certainly is a tough business these days. Where I live they found a man dead in an ice cream van, he was covered in choc sauce and hundreds and thousands.

Police think he topped himself…

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Ohmalley-thealliecat@reddit

In Australia, someone was murdered over it link

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gloomfilter@reddit

Flakes keep breaking?

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Isgortio@reddit

The other day I saw 2 different vans go down the same street within 20 minutes of eachother. It was 5°c and raining. Surely you don't get any customers in that weather?

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OverDue_Habit159@reddit

Depends if its ice cream or cigarettes and drugs they are selling. Could always get a pack of fags when we were kids from the ice cream van local to us.

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LambonaHam@reddit

I just wish they'd use different jingles. Hate wanting a ten bag and only getting a 99 (for the same price).

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Weird1Intrepid@reddit

I used to occasionally get my weed plug and the pizza delivery guy turn up at the same time, both on mopeds, both looking like they're there to deliver something, both eyeing each other up like who the fuck are you lol

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glenmcfarreddit@reddit

There's an ice cream kiosk on the beach where I live and I've had a cone in all weathers. And I'd assume people buying from a van would be taking it indoors so weather isn't really a factor here.

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Isgortio@reddit

Yeah but that's a beach, not a residential street miles away from water.

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BertieBus@reddit

Honestly, when I walk my dog at 6pm, I can here an ice cream van. I've never managed to find him, but I do like the idea of a 99 whilst walking the dog in 5'c.

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glenmcfarreddit@reddit

Yeah and I said that on a residential street they're probably taking it indoors. You need to read the FULL reply.

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Isgortio@reddit

I did read it. My original question was do they get many customers with that weather? Not how do people eat an ice-cream when it's cold and rainy?

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Most_Moose_2637@reddit

Please everyone - I gave this the 99th upvote. No more.

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woodsmanoutside@reddit

That's brilliant. Is that an industry joke? 🤣

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Benyed123@reddit

What’s your problem with the 99s?

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Striking_Young_7205@reddit

I love 99's. 30 better than my second favourite numbers...

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Alternative_Ad7647@reddit

Pretty simple. Fight to the death.

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lxgrf@reddit

Historically, sometimes it has been done with shotguns.

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FormABruteSquad@reddit

Shotguns? Like, guns that fire shot?

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Bertish1080@reddit

Oh you must be the brains then? That’s right, guns that fire shots 😂

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RearAdmiralBob@reddit

Not guns that fire shots. Guns that fire shot. Clearly you are not the brains then.

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Bertish1080@reddit

Clearly you haven’t seen the film in question 🤦

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TSotP@reddit

I was looking for a comment like this.

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Round_Engineer8047@reddit

Not much comfort and joy there.

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thesaltwatersolution@reddit

The BBC (?) documentary about that was a decent, but an eye opening, watch

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Complete_Sherbert_41@reddit

It's on YoiuTube in 2 parts - both parts are there.

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Mynameismikek@reddit

Much the same way as drug dealers do. For reasons.

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glytxh@reddit

Used to buy my drugs from the ice cream van when I lived near Cardiff

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ThePolymath1993@reddit

So how does that work as a new customer, do you just rock up and ask for the Special Stuff?

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glytxh@reddit

Pretty much. Yeah.

There’s a similar setup somewhere in Skegness. Used to buy my weed there. Look for the cool looking bulldog.

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NotSmarterThanA8YO@reddit

That's the reason

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Bertish1080@reddit

I’ve seen a couple of ice cream men have a full on punch up over a pitch, was outside my school back in the mid 90’s 😂 The entire class just swarmed to the windows as soon as someone mentioned the fight.

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CamKi79@reddit

Can’t think about anything other than this .. 😂

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Mysterious_Research2@reddit

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasgow_ice_cream_wars

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Tonk666@reddit

This matter was decided in the great ice cream wars during the heat wave of 76. We don’t need to stir this up again. Many good ice cream men were lost when their lollipop stick armour and 99 cone helms proved useless against the vicious tips of the chocolate waffle cone lances.

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ErraticUnit@reddit

There was an ice cream van war outside my school when I was a kid. Those were good days.

They each tried to undercut the other for weeks. No idea how it was actually settled, but 25p for a lolly with an ice-cream swirl on top .... still makes me smile to remember.

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No-Paint-4241@reddit

Mr Whippy (el hefe) breaks up the territory when they receive the goods..

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yurtal30@reddit

They mark out their area with cones

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Fearless-Dust-2073@reddit

with violence

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KitchenPractice5106@reddit

They usually just tell people lol, my local ice cream van started complaining to us all as another one started taking their route and he was pissed, so we stopped buying from the one pinching his route since he was doing it to a bunch of other ice cream van drivers

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R2-Scotia@reddit

In Edinburgh the council allocates areas

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calmcatman@reddit

Don’t they have wars over their territories?

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Emotional-Wing-9983@reddit

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasgow_ice_cream_wars

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bigwill0104@reddit

With a submachine gun and a smile 😊

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kashisolutions@reddit

Ever heard of the Ice Cream Wars??

Look it up...

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Ros_c@reddit

They hammer the shite out of other!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001d3jx

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fictional_pulp@reddit

I have a semi-adjacent story to tell on this!

When I was a struggling student in Newcastle, I applied for (and got) a job through gumtree which ended up being for a local coffee shop. They were branching out into mobile sales and had bought/converted an old Renault ambulance to send to business parks, festivals, etc. There was very little guidance on where to go so I just sort of winged it. One Saturday afternoon I went and set up stall in a lay-by on the way to the Airport. I fired up the generator in the front cab and opened the hatch. After about half an hour of no business (very common) a car flew into the lay-by and slammed on right in front of me. Out jumped an irate man who started yelling at me that it was his patch. Not wanting any bother I told him I didn’t realise and would move on immediately. Thinking that was that, I started shutting up shop until I got the overwhelming smell of hot petrol. I jumped out the back of the van and ran around to the cab where fuel was pissing out of the (now slashed) fuel line. I shut off the generator, grabbed the fire extinguisher and got as far away from the van as I could while I watched this psychopath speed off into the distance.

Safe to say I never went back to that lay-by!

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MethodicallyCurious@reddit

Hand to hand combat.

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imtheorangeycenter@reddit

I'm surprised that Barret/etc don't sort out the ice-cream "licence" before admitting they couldn't build the school, or the GP, or the library...

"But at least the kids have ice-cream!" they'd say at the inquiry.

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InternationalRide5@reddit

Many housebuilders tie homebuyers into limited utility suppliers before the estate roads are adopted by the council.

They probably could enforce an ice-cream concession contract if they wanted to.

(Aside: why don't we have hot chestnut vans in winter?)

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imtheorangeycenter@reddit

I love a hot chestnut, but might be a bit of a sell to kids. Plus, sprinkles and sauce (obligatory for kids) on them probably make la them worse!

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Sad-Ship895@reddit

I once witnessed a fight between two ice cream van men over turf, they must have both been in their 50's. Needless to say only one came back the next day 🤣

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AttentiveUnicorn@reddit

This reminds me of the That Peter Kay Thing episode about this exact thing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag-bAy36yXc

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AttentiveUnicorn@reddit

And I've just realised that the video I linked doesn't have the bit about the turf wars but it's in the full episode.

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Tyeveras@reddit

There’s only one way to find out.

FIGHT!

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Born-Car-1410@reddit

Cone-off at dawn.

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ffjjygvb@reddit

When I was a kid there were two ice cream vans that came round. Sometimes only minutes apart. Some kids in the street had a preference between the vans and would wait for theirs. Some kids didn’t like one of the drivers so if there preferred van came by shortly after they’d tell the driver who would shoot off wheels spinning to try to get ahead of their rival on the round.

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MaxDaClog@reddit

Because they're justified and ancient

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addicted-2-cameltoe@reddit

I knew a really nice old man... He had the best ice creams ever and he said the other ice cream vans used to attack him and he had to get his baseball bat out to defend himself...he was 65ish

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cheandbis@reddit

Ice cream man 1 pulls out a Magnum.

Ice cream man 2 "That's not a gun, this is a gun" and pulls out a rocket.

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Plantain-Feeling@reddit

Both illegal in the UK

I'm getting out the whippy

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TheKnightsRider@reddit

'Ands off me nobbly bobbly, ya pilfering piltchard

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Ok-Set-5829@reddit

A feast for all

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solar-powered-potato@reddit

I don't know how it's decided exactly, but there's an icecream van that's been coming round my way for over 30 years and sells the usual sweets and stuff - someone actually posted a pic of her van on a reddit thread once and other commenters from my area recognised it too, but I didn't want to dox myself by also commenting haha.

Anyway, there's a new, much fancier, desserts van that started coming round, but only once a week. When he first started there was an awkward moment where the usual van turned up to see half the street queueing for soft serve icecream with warm brownies, cake, etc. She drove away shooting everyone daggers and didn't come back for about 10 days.

They somehow worked it out though so the new guy changed his time so as not to clash, but still comes once a week.

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nervous_veggie@reddit

Yearly naked wrestling match

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Betrayedunicorn@reddit

There’s a Netflix documentary on their turf wars, iirc some sell drugs or something like kingdom come millers and they all fight it out

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasgow_ice_cream_wars

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sloany@reddit

Decades ago, my mum snitched to our regular ice-cream man that someone was trying their luck (they had the roads a few minutes away). Never saw the interloper again. No idea what happened, but I assume ice-cream can code prevailed.

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Livid_Distribution19@reddit

Our council rent out the pitches.

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Gullible-Function649@reddit

Google “Ice Cream Wars”. That’s one method.

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BeakOfBritain@reddit

I saw a fight between two ice cream firms...hundreds and thousands got hurt

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Rev_Biscuit@reddit

Watch ' Top Boy '. It should answer your question.

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mycatiscalledFrodo@reddit

I want to believe they have some sort of fight club-esque underground boxing match, the winner gets the good patch by the rich kids school

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thesaharadesert@reddit

Scythes on their hubcaps

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Substantial_Egg_4660@reddit

In my old street very often 2 ice cream vans would be there at the same time

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entersandmum143@reddit

The Ice Cream Wars is a pretty fascinating docuseries. Although I think it shows the extreme end of turf disputes.

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vollol@reddit

As someone from Glasgow, this is a dark question.

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AlGunner@reddit

Dont know about ice cream vans but I used to know someone who had a food van that they parked up at the side of an A road. That is very competitive and the spot usually goes t the person with the biggest gun.

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louilondon@reddit

Netflix watch ice cream wars

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takesthebiscuit@reddit

It’s kind of like rutting animals, the fight is really just posture, but the winner is usually decided by who can bang out their loudest Jingle.

With enough distortion you can compel your rival to flee!

To maintain their patch then they play warning jingles every 30 seconds as a warning to other competitors.

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