Can I Just Vent?
Posted by New-Chemistry7352@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 16 comments
Parenting does not come with a manual. However, there is an understanding of right and wrong. Growth and maturation. As one learns and understands , they should do/be BETTER.
NOT MY PARENTS!!!
They have been some of the most selfish people that I know. For some twisted reason, I continued to extend undeserved loyalty to them. Finally, reached a point of acceptance and how I was going to control my response.
Went very limited to no contact for the past year. Phone calls occasionally and text messages.
Let me just get to meat of the issue... I was just asked to donate an organ.
The amount of "sentence enhancing" words that left my mouth would get me removed from the group.
How dare you ask me to risk MY life? Zero consideration for my health or what that would mean to my family!
I guess the toxic, self absorbed behavior will continue right up until the final breath.
Ok-Discussion3866@reddit
So are you gonna do it??
New-Chemistry7352@reddit (OP)
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 absolutely not
90Carat@reddit
Respect your elders!!!! Remember that bullshit? Many Boomers still work on that principle.
lowfreq33@reddit
There’s a reason they call boomers the Me generation. Most of us were raised by extremely self centered people, and that behavior was not only acceptable but encouraged. My parents were actually pretty good, mainly because of my mom, but a lot of my friends parents growing up were just flat out awful. Beating them on a regular basis, running the house like a prison, taking away anything that made them the slightest bit happy.
Mysterious-Dealer649@reddit
This sub is so weird I have no idea why you’re downvoted as I look at this. We have nearly identical view of this except my dad was more the good one. Looking back I wouldn’t trade places with anyone I grew up with if you had to take both parents as a package. Mine weren’t perfect but it was more their insane marriage than bad parenting which was also pretty common
lowfreq33@reddit
Yeah, while divorce was becoming more common in the 80’s there was still a huge segment of the population that looked down on it, and people would just stay in miserable marriages forever. So parents were constantly fighting, and it didn’t do us kids any favors. I remember going to a friends house whose parents were nice to each other all the time and happy, and I thought it was weird. I thought being married was just two people yelling at each other all the time.
Jacen33@reddit
What makes you so sure the self absorbed behavior I'd them?
cricket_bacon@reddit
To reiterate: OP claims parents are selfish because OP doesn’t want to donate an organ.
Would this not make the OP selfish?
New-Chemistry7352@reddit (OP)
When someone's behavior for decades has now caused organ failure. Then, continued non-compliance towards medical care plans implemented in an attempt to save the said person's life.
My decision to not undergo surgery to donate makes ME selfish?! 😒 OK.
cricket_bacon@reddit
A non-selfish person overlooks that past behavior, while acting in the interest of others. Your decision to not donate is based on what is best for you. Pretty much the definition of selfish. I am not saying you are wrong for your decision. Just hard to recognize it as anything other than acting in your own self interest.
GypsyKaz1@reddit
Are you trying to pull out Ayn Rand's "Virtue of Selfishness" here?
OP is acting in their own best self-interest. Rand's attempt to rebrand selfishness as a virtue (even if technically correct) didn't take. OP is using the term "selfish" as it's commonly understood (vague and negative).
New-Chemistry7352@reddit (OP)
40+ years of observing and being impacted by their life choices.
DeliciousExits@reddit
I completely understand this OP. It’s a shitty ass feeling.
Im4Bordeaux@reddit
I understand and empathize! People with good or even halfway decent parents will never understand the toxic struggle. Narcissist parents demand we serve their needs above our own, having impossible expectations then denigrating us for not fulfilling every single wish. Taking care of yourself, OP, is not a selfish act --- it is self preservation and self love when dealing with such dysfunction. Wishing you peace and strength!
ShimmyxSham@reddit
Vent all you want, but reading this makes me think the apple doesn’t fall from the tree
BottledFizzyCoffee@reddit
There is no way I would ask a child of mine to donate an organ to me. Nope.