What did your parents call condoms when you were a kid?

Posted by ManInTheDarkSuit@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 37 comments

After a discussion with my wife, stumbled upon a memory of what my parents called them, and had a light bulb moment. They never did buy shower caps, they were talking about condoms this whole time! Eww! I'm one of 12 kids, so evidently they didn't use them right or all of the time. What you got, AskUK? FAO mods. I proactively put the NSFW on, just in case!

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37 Comments

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Advanced-Fun-4252@reddit

French letters

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ManInTheDarkSuit@reddit (OP)

Why? Am I being a dunce?

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Advanced-Fun-4252@reddit

It was just a name for them. Quite old fashioned I think

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flyingmooset@reddit

Sheaths

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ScallionOk6420@reddit

Non-council estate so I didn't hear any mention as a kid.

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ManInTheDarkSuit@reddit (OP)

I'm not council! My parents were just idiots.

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EdmundTheInsulter@reddit

They don't talk about it ever.

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fishface-1977@reddit

Umm, my parents never discussed condoms in front of their children?

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ManInTheDarkSuit@reddit (OP)

Better than my parents, then :)

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DeadBallDescendant@reddit

Given they had 12 kids I suspect they DID think shower caps might do the job.

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ManInTheDarkSuit@reddit (OP)

Hey. They were stupid *and* inappropriate.

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Mr-Incy@reddit

My parents never discussed it, even when I got older, it isn't the sort of thing you would chat about with young children. When I was old enough, they called them condoms, rubbers or johnnies, but that wasn't in relation to them using them, it was about making sure we were using them.

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Orlando22tn@reddit

Overcoats

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Nikkotak@reddit

GERONIMO!

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Dolphin_Spotter@reddit

When I was a wee boy my dad would take me to the barbers for a haircut about once a month. It cost 1/6, that's how long ago it was. For years I couldn't fathom out what the barber meant by 'Something for the weekend sir?' As I got older I worked it out and the immense sense of pride when the barber finally asked me if I needed anything for the weekend.

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Alas_boris@reddit

Are you implying that barbers also illicitly and covertly also sold condoms? If so, that is a bit mad. In what way would sitting through a hair cut to be discretely being offered a condom be preferable to just going to Boot's? I always assumed 'something for the weekend, Sir?' referred to getting a smart haircut in order to look tidy when out on that pull.

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Dolphin_Spotter@reddit

Ah. The innocence of youth.

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tenpoundpermole@reddit

My parents were Irish; they didn’t have a word for them

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traditionalcauli@reddit

When I was at junior school a friend called them conjobs and I still call them that these days, sometimes. It's an instant passion killer for my wife though. I'd be more likely to get some after calling her mummy than calling condoms conjobs.

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Striking_Young_7205@reddit

"Too late"...

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Conscious-Peach-541@reddit

Johnnies ,Dunkies

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Skinnybet@reddit

As one of 7 children I don’t think they had heard of them. As a young un I would call them jonnies. Rubber jonnies.

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Flashy-Grass6646@reddit

Wellies

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Karrtlops@reddit

Johnnies

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poskantorg@reddit

Or Rubber Johnies for the more sophisticated crowd

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Dry_Action1734@reddit

Why the hell would they talk about that in front of a child? Coded or not lol.

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Gaz112000@reddit

They were called French Rugby Players https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Condom

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tjjwaddo@reddit

They were never ever mentioned.

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Thestolenone@reddit

Johnnies, they didn't use them, my mum had a cap which was completely useless as she got pregnant with sister number 4 with it. Then she had sister number 5 with another man then had her tubes tied.

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Leading_Exercise3155@reddit

A johnnie

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solve_et_coagula13@reddit

Literally never heard my parents discuss contraception

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somewhat-similar@reddit

These words. In THIS house? No sir. Not at all.

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OkayTimeForTheTruth@reddit

Condoms

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ImJustARunawaay@reddit

This hasn't come up in my entire life.

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Ok-Succotash-2885@reddit

Party balloons

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Comfortable-Wolf-905@reddit

Rubbers 🤷‍♂️

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