Why did you fall out with a good or best friend?

Posted by Due-Structure-6110@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 178 comments

I’m just very interested in how these things happen. I’m fortunate to not have experienced this, but I’m currently seeing 2 friends fall out. Neither will explain why. Would be very interested to hear other people’s experiences.

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247_baccardiandcoke@reddit

Well I thought she was my best friend. Turned out that she was using me all this time. Plus she was a shallow show off and made me feel inferior. As she worked in cabin crew where as I work in various schools. And she said find people who like you . Pretty toxic really

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borneo_function_@reddit

I came to the realisation (after 10 years of friendship) that I was the one always making effort. I would always initiate conversations on WhatsApp. I was the one suggesting we meet. I put my theory "If I stop making effort will they make any effort?" into action and didn't hear from this person for 6 months. Later they said they were "busy" but it's not like they weren't socialising with other people for 6 months, I was just very, very far down their priority list. In the end there's no reason to dwell on it. I don't care about people who don't care about me.

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Cute_Side_93@reddit

I had 2 best friends as a early teen. We are 49 this year. One I love and is like a sister to me still. We don’t see each other more than 4 times a year, but we text and speak at least every other week, if I’m down she’ll support me and I’ve been through the worst time with her when her child died. Our other friend , we’ve not really seen since the death of our friends daughter. She sent flowers and a card but couldn’t come as it was too hard for her! I know she has trauma from losing her husband young but her new husband is a cheat and alcoholic. We’ve both supported her through thick and thin but she’s never there for us. We asked her everytime we met up to come but she was always busy. In end we stopped reaching out to her. We haven’t really heard anything back for 2 years. And the saddest bit is we realised we don’t actually miss her. She withdrew from us so slowly that we didn’t see it.. she really just dumped us by stealth 😂

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Plastic_Sherbert_127@reddit

Told me to abort my first child. Wanker.

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specialdelivery88@reddit

Did you?

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soverytiiiired@reddit

Growing up gay as a kid in the late 90s and early 2000s was tough. Section 28 has a lot to fucking answer for due to how it affected my growth as a person. My friends knew I was gay and it was obvious they didn’t want me to be. When we hit 18 and were going to pubs and clubs, they would be free to pull any woman they wanted, but if they saw me talking to a guy a hand would appear on my shoulder and I would be led away or they would send the person I was talking to away. When I hit my twenties I was seeing my friends get into long term relationships, but if I brought up anything in my personal life I was shut down and told not to “Shove it down their throats” I honestly believe they would have been happy for me to stay single for my entire life so they didn’t have to have a gay friend in the group. When I was about 25 a work colleague I got on well with asked if I wanted to go out for a meal with him and his mates that evening. I went and I’d never felt so happy and relaxed around a group of people. These people welcomed me and liked me for who I was. The meal ended up becoming a weekly event and within a couple of months they were suddenly my core friend group and still are today (I was groomsman at the work colleagues wedding a couple of years ago) Childhood friends didn’t like this when they noticed I was pulling myself away from the group. One of the last texts I remember getting from one said “You’re 25 years old. You need to stop this pathetic attempt at reinventing yourself with these people” I haven’t hung around with them since, and I didn’t miss them one bit which I think is the saddest part of the story.

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specialdelivery88@reddit

Best thing I’ve read this week. Happy for you dude

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Ill-Basil2863@reddit

Wow. I could've written this myself.

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Majestic_Matt_459@reddit

Gay guy here too - had different path but weirdly similar - have a high five x

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soverytiiiired@reddit

Hooray for shared trauma!

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paulgibbins@reddit

this is an interesting story as I was talking to some friends a while ago about how sometimes your oldest friends can actually know you less well than some of your newer friends as they have an archaic idea of you in their heads. This is obviously not always the case, and the majority of my closest friends are people who I have known for a long time, but I do think sometimes that newer friends who meet you as you currently are can be a lifeline for feeling seen and understood, which it sounds like you were by these people. Delighted that you were able to find a group where you could be yourself, without worrying about the repercussions.

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JoeBagadonut@reddit

It's the same with parents and their relationship with their kids. People are always changing and growing, yet sometimes other peoples' perception of us gets stuck in time.

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pajamakitten@reddit

You were not even reinventing yourself, you were just being the person they did not really like for however many years.

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WastedSapience@reddit

> “You’re 25 years old. You need to stop this pathetic attempt at reinventing yourself with these people” Saying something like that is a sign of a sad, small life. Imo you lost nothing of value there.

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soverytiiiired@reddit

I know. The thing is, I did reinvent myself. I always wanted piercings, but that was viewed as “too gay” I mentioned it to one of my new friends and about an hour later we were both sat in a tattoo parlour waiting for me to get pierced. The clothing I was wearing was grey and subdued because if I ever looked at anything interesting or with a bit of colour I was “drawing more attention to myself” New friends were encouraging me to buy clothing I wanted and were sending me links to things they thought I would like. Lots and lots of things changed and I stopped hesitating and saying things like “Oh I’d better not say that because X will be offended “ or “I can’t wear that because Y will have something to say”

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GhostRiders@reddit

Very close friend for over a decade hit his wife... Now there are years worth of back story which honestly, I can't be bothered to type and most people won't be bothered to read. Ultimately none of it matters because he shouldn't have hit her. It happened in a video store, they had some kind of argument and when they went outside he slapped her. A couple of friends told me what they had seen. When I confronted him he admitted it, when I asked him if this was the first time he remained silent. I told him if he laid so much as a finger on her in anger again I would beat him to an inch of his life. I told her that whatever she wanted to do I would support her 100% and that if he ever hit or threatened her again to call me. She gave him another chance, he hit her again 3 days later. Took me over a month to find him as he went to ground, Suffice to say after our last meeting I never saw him again and from what I was told he left the country to stay with his step dad.

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twenty20reddit@reddit

Thank you for speaking up and confronting him. Not only did you probably save her life but restore her faith in humanity again.

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DryJackfruit6610@reddit

Well done you for giving her that support. Probably saved her life

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happy_faerie@reddit

I had a group of 8 friends throughout secondary school. We were extremely close and did everything together. I ended up moving schools for sixth-form, but started dating a guy who joined their sixth-form and friend group. Everything was cool until we all went to uni and I broke up with him. Not for anything major, just one of those things that happens when you're 18. They ALL stopped talking to me. One of the girls even spread rumours I'd cheated on him months after we'd broken up. I'd been best friends with some of them for over 10+ years but they decided to side with a guy they'd known less than 2 years. Broke my heart more than I'd like to admit!

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AdministrativeLaugh2@reddit

Wouldn’t say we’ve fallen out, but I decided to just cut ties because it wasn’t worth it. Been friends for probably 15 years, he was a groomsman at my wedding, but he’s absolutely useless at communicating. I accepted that during school and uni (we were at different unis so whatever), but I realised recently that he almost never sends the first message. Kinda came to a head when my best man was trying to organise my stag do on FB Messenger. My then-friend was in the group initially, then deleted the app and ignored texts so was uncontactable (shock), and missed the stag do despite knowing it was going to be happening. He was also nigh-on uncontactable in the run up when I was trying to organise groomsman stuff, which included accommodation for everyone including him. I ended up having to email him because he wasn’t replaying to Messenger or WhatsApp. He showed up to the wedding, perhaps surprisingly, but he never apologised for missing the stag or anything. Since then, I’ve seen him once as part of a group and he sat on his phone for three hours, and I haven’t spoken to him since. I’ll probably be happy to get back in touch if he sends the first message, but I also have a suspicion that he doesn’t really want to be friends anymore which is why he remains useless with me re: communication. And if he’s like this with everyone else in his life, then it’s time for him to grow up.

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gr33nday4ever@reddit

i lost an entire friend group because they took a friend group trip and didn't invite me. i didn't even know they were going until i saw a photo of the 4 of them on said holiday. they made excuses like 'we know you wouldn't have been able to afford it' (not true) and 'you wouldn't have enjoyed it' (i could've done my own thing for some of it if need be) but none of them actually thought to ask me or include me in any way. included in this friend group was someone who had explicitly called me her best friend on more than one occasion. it still hurts now and it was like 10 years ago

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AdministrativeLaugh2@reddit

Had that in high school. It sucked at the time but it was kinda positive as it was the start of me accepting that these people clearly didn’t want to be friends with me, and allowing me to move on and hang out with people who *did* want to be friends with me.

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BromleyReject@reddit

Went to my friend's 40th birthday party, stag do, wedding and christening of his daughter. Invited him to my wedding. He didn't turn up. I thought there must have been some emergency but nothing. Texted me a few days later asking if I was in but I was on my honeymoon. No explanation or reason given for the no show. I coudn't be arsed to reply. 10 years ago, haven't spoken since

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AdministrativeLaugh2@reddit

Had a similar one. We weren’t best friends by any stretch but we were in the same friendship group at uni so I’ve known him for over a decade. Probably saw each other 3-4 times a year after uni finished as part of said group. Invited him to my wedding, of course, and he and his GF (who I’d never met) said they were coming. Fast forward to the day and they don’t show up. Not a word from him since and I decided that was that after a couple of weeks - unfriended him on Facebook etc and haven’t spoken to him since. Worst part is he’d told another friend, who he was going to be sharing an Airbnb with at the wedding, a couple of months before that he wasn’t coming. No idea of the reason. It’s a shame when people are too cowardly to come up with something rather than chuck away a friendship.

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Extreme-Kangaroo-842@reddit

I had similar. Known each other 20+ years. Asked him to be my best man in late 2000 and he agreed. He met a woman and I saw him once between early 2001 and the wedding date - to be fitted for the suits. This was four months before the wedding and that was the last time I ever saw him. He wouldn't answer his phone (called many times) and I didn't know where he lived as he shacked up with his new woman. Amazingly the day before the stag he answered the phone. Apologies galore but I informed him he was no longer best man. Said he was going to come to the wedding as I said he was still invited with his girlfriend. And that's the last time I or any else from our close friend group ever heard from him. I was pissed at him, everyone else was too, so we didn't exactly go looking for him over the next 15 years to find out why he'd ditched everyone. Then in 2016 we heard on the grapevine that he'd died in 2011 from pancreatic cancer. He'd married that woman and had a son too. I've wondered many a time over the years why he did what he did but there's no chance of finding out now. Back in the day I could have got in touch with his parents but I was still so angry with him. His brother and sister I have next to no chance of ever finding and his parents are long since passed away. My advice is if you're curious why your ex friend did what he did then try and find out. He may not and probably won't want to tell you. But if you are curious don't wait until there's no chance like I did. I suspect it was the woman he ended up with. I met her a couple of times and she was... odd. I heard on the grapevine that up until the birth of his son that his parents would have nothing to do with him because of her.

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_Jay-Garage-A-Roo_@reddit

I fell into suicidal depression, it really sorted out friends from those who didn’t have a genuine connection.

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BalasaarNelxaan@reddit

My mother died. All my closest friends circled the wagons around me and made sure I was alright, save one. They didn’t message me, didn’t come to the funeral, send me a card or make any effort whatsoever to check I was alright. Tried to pretend it was ok but a few months later I decided I just couldn’t see them and my then girlfriend (now wife) called them out for their bullshit. We still see each other occasionally due to having mutual friends, but are nothing more than civil.

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Ok-Succotash-2885@reddit

Context: when my wife and i were dating i was still sort of dating another girl briefly until i decided to be an adult and commit. I explained everything to my wife in due coirse and she was fine with it as we werent serious at the time. He last minute told me he couldn't get to the venue so I said don't worry come to the reception. Never came. Next morning I'm informed about a ton of screenshots on his facebook between me and him talking to him about the 2 women i was dating back from the time in question, trying to rat me out publicly to my wife. My wife replied, all my mutual friends replied. Everyone laid into him. He turned from one of my closest friends into a stranger that day. Many years have passed since then.

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BananaHairFood@reddit

She kept telling lies, some small, some big. She lied about having an illness and went so far as to use crutches, wasted a lot of medical time and money, but then was absolutely fine once we went to Zante and/or started going clubbing. She lied about going to university. She told us her parents split up for however many years so she moved away and came back. Saw a picture of her in her graduation gear in between two proud parents and she told me that was a joke photo they had on the wall. She lied about being sexually assaulted and had, in fact, been the one who did the assaulting (CCTV recorded it) but had gotten hurt when the guy rejected her. She eventually lied to a guy to get pregnant. She then lied and said he had left her, soaking in all the glory of how hard it is to be a single mother, but then it turned out he was in their home they shared looking after said baby, and was dumbfounded when it was put to him that she had been saying all night that they’d split up. She told me he had assaulted her in a car park and that she and the baby had been locked inside the car by him during a heatwave, but couldn’t explain to me exactly how that had worked. A whole smaller load of pointless lies almost daily, including her family had come home to find a ghost had opened all their cupboards (“you didn’t assume it was a burglar?” “No, we checked and nothing was gone”) because her and a friend had been talking that day about how that friend was big into the paranormal. She also lied about our friend staying at her house and eating the corner off a block of cheddar (picked the wrong friend, this friend passionately hates all cheese). I could go on. Anyway, eventually I told her she couldn’t back up any of her wild claims and the evidence was stacked against her that she was lying constantly and should get help. She was furious and started an assault on my character but, yeah, funnily enough no one believed her bullshit.

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slitherfang98@reddit

I have no idea, I was completely ghosted. One day he just stopped talking to me. I tried to message him a few times but I just got ignored. weird.

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20127010603170562316@reddit

The last time I saw or spoke to the best man at my wedding, was when I was a guest at his a couple years later. We'd speak twice a week before this, but then married and poof nothing. Tried calling and texting, always unanswered and unreturned. Annoying but I hope he's doing alright.

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SickPuppy01@reddit

He turned in to a wife beater, and then came after me and my wife for helping her rather than him. He tried everything to damage me. my family and reputation including several false police reports. He ended up in jail for several years. While he was inside he convinced two prisoners to break into my house when they got released. When he got out he ran away to Spain. Even though he is British he has turned full MAGA (complaining about immigration while living in Spain), homophobic and constantly posts about how the world is ganging up on him. He uses stolen valour to gain sympathy in these posts constantly stating the world should be nicer to soldiers who risked their all for their country (he barely got past initial training before he was dishonorably discharged).

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Electronic_Claim_315@reddit

> Even though he is British he has turned full MAGA (complaining about immigration while living in Spain Oh man, that's a classic

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Round_Engineer8047@reddit

The fucker ran off with my girlfriend. 25 years ago. Never forgive, never forget. Ask me when I'm 90, same answer.

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GatorShinsDev@reddit

Best friend from childhood is just a bit of a cunt unfortunately. Stopped speaking to him in 2015 or so because he would be inappropriate with my gf at the time and other mates gfs. Explicitly explained to him why we fell out but he chose to just ignore it I guess. He reappeared a couple years ago and I stupidly gave him another chance. Him and his wife came over for a Halloween party. In one evening he did a bunch of shitty things. I'd just got a rescue dog and he was aggressive towards her, then he was a dick to me, then he touched my gfs arse and finally he drove home very drunk (not the first time). I brought it up with him and he denied everything, said that I've been working from home too long or something which made zero sense. Also kept saying "I'm a married man" like it meant he couldn't be inappropriate with my gf (who was sober). I dunno why I bothered giving him another chance, wishful thinking I guess.

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Brief-Ship-5572@reddit

Life taught me early on to never trust anyone.

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Kayanne1990@reddit

I've honestly been wanting to tell this story for a while. It was weird. We were friends for a long time. She helped me out a lot and we were best friends but over the last year, she kinda got like really mean for no reason. Just like casually. Like she would break off plans last minute then get mad at me, ask to hang out on nights when I had work the next day and get pissed when I didn’t want to. Just little things like that. And I'm not saying that I haven't done things too, but the difference is I'm pretty sure she does stuff on purpose. The event that hammered the final nail in the coffin was when she invited me to stay over for the night after a show. Cool. No problem. I had done that before. But she decided to not tell me that her new boyfriend, someone she knows I feel very uncomfortable around for reasons I won't go into, was now living with her. When we got to her place I quietly asked if he was staying and she got this kinda smug look on her face and asked "What if he is?" I told her I wasn't comfortable with it and went home. I thought that would be the end of it but the next day she texted me furious that I had left and it kind clicked that she'd done this on purpose. She'd purposefully tried to strand me in the middle of the night in a house with a guy she had told me nothing but horror stories about then gotten pissed when it didn't work. We agreed to take a break from hanging out with each other and since then, I'm remembering a lot of other stuff that she's done. Tried to take my picture in secret so she could send it to a random 19 year old, insulted my brother at dinner that we invited her to, got into a literal fist fight with someone at a bus stop, got into a verbal fight with some random kids at a bus stop, tried to start a drama with my brother regarding an ex friend of his, has given copious amounts of unsolicited advice regarding my weight, my family, various issues that present within my family and that's just the stuff that's coming to mind. I'm not sure whether she's intentionally manipulative by nature or whether it's some deep rooted need to matter...or both. I miss her sometimes. And I wish he nothing but the best. But her lifestyle and just how she is as a person just isn't compatible with mine anymore.

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CameramanNick@reddit

I went into business with a very good friend. Business had problems. He implied I'd caused it. I felt this was unfair. We haven't spoken since.

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abiballz@reddit

You lose a number of friends as you age.. And you're not displeased to let them go.. I'm in my early 40s now and my good long term friends I can count on one hand, I am lucky to have lots of nice acquaintances as well. However my need to socialise and be around people is definitely waning as time goes by. In your teens and twenties you put up with some crap friendships, totally incompatible with you. It's funny looking back. I slowly and as kindly as I could moved away from a few, they weren't horrible, but I was so bored of their company. Still speak occasionally and wish them well but no desire to use my spare time on going over the same old ground. One was quite extreme in her views even as a teen, and was a psychotic demon when she drank. By our 30s her views couldn't be classed as anything other than racist, nasty and vile. Goodbye. Sadly she's had a few kids now so they'll grow up thinking hating people based on religion and skin colour is normal. The worst fall out.. A friend of 25 years... We were like family. Went into business together. We thrived for a few years but it came crashing down. I can't honestly say who was most at fault, I think it was really hard on both of us. Never go into business with family or friends. It is not worth it.

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ans-myonul@reddit

I cut off a friend of 5 years because he 1. casually told me I'm 'psychotic' because I got an email that I didn't understand, 2. told me that people don't want to date me because they 'see me as a child' - I'm 28 but due to my disability I look very young for my age, however anyone who speaks to me can tell I'm definitely an adult and some people even think I sound older than I am

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Euyfdvfhj@reddit

What an ass. I took have had age discrimination type comments and they suck, let alone from a friend. That's a v insensitive thing to say. Also...fellow voidz fan!

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Aksium__84@reddit

We never really fell out or argued, but since I never was the party type or the person who makes much fuss, about anything and prefer not to be of any sort of bother, to be fair I was and still am quite shy around people I dont know well. And the friend who I grew up with in the tiny place we grew up in, was the opposite of me, decided to move to the city once he finished school and me who left school when I was 16. He had dreams and aspirations of getting a soild job and all that comes with it, I was more content with doing manual labour all week and being left alone with me and my own thougths. Over the next few years we talked less and less, until one easter I think when he was home visiting his folks, he did not answer the phone or replied to text, and when I went over to his house to ask if he wanted to come over for dinner one day he just shrugged and said that I was not really that intresting to hang with or talk to anymore since I did not have any "proper" dreams or goals with my life. I think i just hung my head and said okay and walked back home, and not ashamed to say that I shed a few tears on the way home. Now I get that Im not the most intresting person to be around. but I always valued our friendship, even if we was worlds apart personalitywise. Been around 15ish years now and it still stings a bit when I think of, still wish him the best and hope all is well with him.

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HmNotToday1308@reddit

I kept trying to plan things but there was always an excuse. Was busy all summer. Her back hurt last minute on my birthday so she couldn't make it. I lost a pregnancy at 13 weeks in October and what should have been the ultrasound where we confirmed everything and announced it was on a Tuesday, My husband really couldn't take off work so she swore she'd be there for me. Monday afternoon she messaged saying she was getting a haircut Tuesday, so we could just meet up Wednesday right? I responded "okay" and haven't said anything since... There's nothing left to say.

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TedBob99@reddit

People change and suddenly you realise you don't have much in common/same interests anymore.

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inedible_cakes@reddit

The best man at my wedding and buddy of seven/eight years just ghosted me a couple of years ago, and to this day I have no idea why. Other friends have tried to reach him with no avail. Sucks!

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SunsetGrind@reddit

He's a colleague of my wife and an American ex-pat like myself, so she introduced us to each other as we shared almost identical geek hobbies and interests. He often introduced me to his friends as his best friend. And absolutely I would agree. But the moment he'd start dating, he would disappear for weeks at a time. Then his latest relationship he disappeared for months at a time. This upset my wife just as much as me, but the final straw was the fact that he knew we were having our first baby, and yet he initiated 0 contact after a while. He missed the babyshower, the birth, the welcome home. About 3-4 months after he was born, my wife took our son to work to introduce him to her colleagues. This guy just walked by, waved at her with a smile, and then kept walking. Didn't even bother to see our son or follow up either in person or even a call or text. He's pretty much dead to my wife now and refuses to speak about him. I'm still hurt and disappointed. Sometimes I wonder if maybe he had feelings for my wife.

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Moist_gooch90@reddit

I fell out with my best friend from ages 6-21. Was all good during school however I realised he was sabotaging any potential relationship I'd have with a girl. One girl I was trying to date showed me messages he'd sent her saying she will never get between me and him. Other times he'd tell stories about me or try and humiliate me. We eventually fell out as he caused problems with my first serious girlfriend. He reached out a few years later and I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and we hung out twice, but he ended up leaving me on the side of the road when my car broke down so he could go and drink with some other friends. 13 years later and he'll send me a friend request a couple times a year on Facebook but I just ignore it.

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Cheesefiend94@reddit

I’d be invited to hangout on a Saturday, I turned up once and he just vanished. Didn’t answer his phone. So I just presume he went home. He did it again, but then hid in a friends house. I was pissed, he invited me a third time. I stole (what I thought was his) Xbox hard drive. He was calling me frantically, i ignored him. Turns out it wasn’t his hard drive. But fuck it, I was sick of them all, so I cut those people out my life. I would stick up for the guy, because nobody liked him. He would later be friends with those people. So I felt betrayed. I said if I ever saw him again, I’ll punch him in the face. This was 16 years ago, and I’ve still held that promise.

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Aromatic_Pudding_234@reddit

I couldn't stop drinking. It slowly started to eat away at all of my friendships, but being my best mate, she did her best to keep me in her life. One day she came round to drop off my rucksack, which I had left at her place a couple of nights' previously. I was drunk. Again. This time though, she completely lost the plot and yelled something along the lines of 'WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS FUCKING DRUNK?!' and stormed out, crying. Most alcoholics will be all too aware of how much you start to prioritise drinking over everything else, you seriously lose perspective. Plus, there's a not-inconsiderable amount of shame that accompanies that kind of behaviour. I don't really clearly remember what my response was (which speaks volumes about how inconsequential the situation felt to me at the time), but I suspect it was something along the lines of 'I'll deal with it once she's calmed down' or some such bollocks. That ended up being the last face-to-face interaction we ever had. It turns out that she had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She had been complaining of back pain for months and months prior to our falling out. Seeing chiropractors, doctors, etc without any concrete diagnosis for the pain. Turned out to be ovarian cancer that had gone untreated all that time. She died 9 years ago, on Boxing Day. I'll never know for sure, but I'll always have this awful feeling in my gut that the day she stormed out crying was the day she planned to tell me about her diagnosis. I got sober 6 months later.

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insert_name_here925@reddit

A former close friend hasn't spoken to me since I missed their destination 30th birthday party because I had major surgery a few days before. I even messaged from the hospital to apologise that I wouldn't be able to attend because of the surgery and hoped they had a great time. They didn't even reply, just blocked me on everything and ended a 12 year friendship. Now I think it was a lucky escape.

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nicolby@reddit

I told him I quit drinking and he just kept telling me he didn’t think I could do it. I had to back off and am 1.5 years sober now.

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Houseofsun5@reddit

Well apparently I ignored his wife at a dinner party, I didn't think I had and neither did my other two close friends that were at the party. Long story short I am no longer welcome at his house, my other two friends have sided with me and consider themselves no longer welcome at his house. We have all known each other 30+ years, so this was a long friendship.

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anikah-@reddit

sounds like his wife fancied you and needed a way to keep you away from her

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hodgey66@reddit

Money

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melanie110@reddit

I was the token fat lass of our group. After years and years I decided to do something about and shed a fuck tonne of weight. My closest friend was the one who was the most nastiest about it. She’d often say, it won’t last long, should you be eating that, yeah you’re too thin now you look ill. Really really laying into me. I just distanced myself from her and see each other now and again but she’s still so negative about everything and me especially. If she’s saying this to my face, I dread to think what she was saying behind my back. I heard she’d told everyone I was on coke, but I laughed that off

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anikah-@reddit

wow talk about threatened by you!! you must have looked even more amazing after and she simply couldn’t cope

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Harlaw2871@reddit

Fell out with a mate I had since primary 1 when we were 24. He got a girl pregnant with twins and he didnt want to be a dad so joined the Navy and we pretty much drifted from there. 20 years later Im not sure if I handled it as well as i could have. I grew up pretty sheltred and was probably too judgemental when i had no real life experience to go on. Hes probably married now with a new family and he probably a dad to the twins now but i fucked up a 20 year friendship trying to help a girl i never even met.

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PublicClear9120@reddit

He went on a date with an underage girl. I don't want anything to do with that.

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Resident-Gear2309@reddit

I pushed forward in my career and started earning really good money, I got nothing but absolute disdain from the whole friends group I grew up with! And to this day they’re all still doing the same jobs and haven’t tried to better themselves

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DepInLondon@reddit

Last year I lost two. At different times and specifics, but both because I grew as a person and they couldn’t deal with it.

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MetaLord93@reddit

He became a fundamentalist Christian, and super intolerant of my and other’s beliefs.

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No_Psychology_8169@reddit

Lost a good friend really recently because she told me I was selfish and unsupportive and didn't listen well to her problems. All fair points, but I was exhausted from her constantly complaining about things that were easily in her power to solve and I had nothing left to give. I agreed we should part ways as friends, I think we love differently and have different priorities. Still really sad though

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SmokyBarnable01@reddit

Despite her protestations of feminism, she was having an affair with a guy who was beating on his partner and she knew it. I called him out on it one night when he was shouting at her again in public. Pick on someone your own size and sex kinda thing. My friend dropped me the following day because she knew that I knew that she was a fucking hypocrite. She then spent the next 10 years trying to besmirch my reputation around our shared friendship group. You think you know someone etc.

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adinade@reddit

Choose a girl over us. We got wanting to be with her but he repeatedly no showed with no message when we tried to meet after agreeing to be there, we stopped inviting him and he never reached out.

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Original_Papaya7907@reddit

I realised that my childhood best friend was just never rooting for me. She often on/off bullied me at school, made me the butt of jokes, would leave me out of things, she would ignore me completely at times when a ‘new’ friend came along. We’d been friends forever so I didn’t necessarily want to end the friendship at the time. We were in our twenties and a long term relationship of mine ended. She ended up finding out that he’d cheated on me (I didn’t know) and when she told me she couldn’t keep the absolute glee out of her voice and she kept trying not to laugh and breaking into this huge grin- and not in an ‘this is awkward, I don’t know how to act’ way. It was just horrible. She was clearly over the moon that I’d just had this horrible thing happen and she knew something I didn’t. I never saw her the same after that and distanced myself. A few years later, I saw her and I introduced her to my new boyfriend (now husband of over 10 years) and she made some nasty and juvenile comment about me to him, I can’t even remember exactly what it was but it was along the lines of ‘you know she gets fat in a relationship’, and I realised then that she would never, ever be happy for me. That was the last time I saw her. I now have a wonderful group of female friends and we are each other’s biggest cheerleaders. I’m so glad I know true female friendship. My female friendships in my formative years were pretty rough!!

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Lemon-Flower-744@reddit

This is truly awful! Your ex best friend sounds like my ex best friend. I'd meet up with my ex best friend and she would be like 'oh remember this embarrassing thing you did in high school' and we were like late 20s at that point. I'd try and change the conversation and she was always so bitchy about other girls she'd see or be friends with. I'd be thinking how can you be *this* mean to other people, what are you saying about me behind my back lol. One day she told me that my husband (boyfriend at the time) clearly fancied her as he kept staring at her. He was barely ever there when she was at our house cause he couldn't stand to be around her annoying laugh. I was like 'oh right.' And she said 'well can you confront him, it's making me uncomfortable.' I said out straight 'he's not even here and he's never here when you come over or when we go out so I don't know why you think that.' She got all embarrassed and then a few months later said her other friends boyfriend clearly fancied her too. I was like what the. All these little red flags appeared that I ignored. Finally I realised, when I got engaged. She commented on my Instagram ,she didn't like my ring. She was like 'that's cheap.' I'd reply 'well good thing he didn't ask you then isn't it.' I started to distance myself from her and she didn't really call / text me either so that was fine. I didn't actually miss her and if she made plans but then cancel, I'd feel relieved. When it was the day before my wedding (we hadn't spoken for a good year by then. I'd also hidden my Instagram stories from her and vice versa so she thought I just didn't use socials anymore), she messaged me and said 'GOOD LUCK ON YOUR MARRIAGE. Clearly I don't mean that much to you to not even get an invite.' I read it, blocked and haven't thought about her until now lmao. I have a really lovely group of friends now who support me and genuinely are interested in what I'm doing and making sure we're all okay. Have the same hobbies / interests. It's so love when you find your people🩷

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Original_Papaya7907@reddit

Omg! You had one of those too! Yeah, it is horrible once you realise and breaking contact is the only thing you can do. I didn’t invite my ex friend to my wedding either and I have absolutely zero regrets. It’s kind of a shame that she never got to wear the hideous lilac gown my 90s self wanted for bridesmaids but I guess that shows how much we change! Friendships and fashion especially!

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ThePaneledBaker@reddit

Typically it's because of a repeat of something. I can forgive a lot of things, but I won't be treated as a mug again and again.

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Chemical-ali1@reddit

I was going through a kind of depressive episode, I’d just been dumped by my girlfriend at the time and was properly suicidal. I was convinced that what I needed to do to snap out of it / get over it, was just go out for a few beers with a mate. I asked one of my closest mates to go for a pint over 100 times over the next few months. Every time he was too busy (he lived 10mins away / was single / wasn’t that busy). Once he even said yer, I’ll meet you at this pub, so I went there to meet him, and when he didn’t show up I called and he said “sorry, I was just joking about meeting you there, I didn’t think you’d actually go”. A bit later I’d started going to pubs by myself and bumped in to him in one on a tinder date. 8 years or so later I’ve never really come back from the depressive thing, not properly suicidal anymore but that’s about it. Still hear from him occasionally but don’t really think of him as a mate anymore.

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IdiotBearPinkEdition@reddit

I had a huge crush on my friend, to the point where I'm almost sure he was my first love. He had a thing for my best friend, but it was unreciprocated. Until one point, where she sort of... unenthusiastically started dating him. She broke up with him after about a month, then they got back together, but that didn't last long either. At the end, she told me it was my fault that she broke up with him, because I'd had feelings for him for years, and that made her feel bad, so she couldn't get attached and broke up with him... twice. She told me that I broke his heart. I didn't really speak to her again after that. Funny thing is though, I told him before to just not get involved with her, she's not a good girlfriend to have, and she'll mess you about. Everyone thought I was just being jealous, but this was the ONE sensible, clear-headed thing I did as a teenager

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elmo_touches_me@reddit

Turned out he was a creepy sex pest When we were 24ish, it came to light that when he was 20 he’d gone to see a film with a 15 year old girl and kept trying to touch her during the film. She left and asked him to take her home, then in his car he kept trying to touch her while she repeatedly said no. I just ghosted him after that. I bumped in to him a year or so later, we made eye contact but just walked on.

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bouncer-1@reddit

He jumped out of the car while we we’re driving somewhere

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Traditional_Earth149@reddit

Good friend, one I’d known for 15 years probably more. When I got married we had limited numbers, they were on the list of first round invites. I messaged them to say they had an invite but I hadn’t seen them in a while but if they wanted to meet up I’d bring it over. There partner was in a wheelchair so I also told them that the venue was wheel chair accessible but if they wanted to meet up and take a look around I’m happy to (it was maybe 20-30mins from there house) and I got no reply nothing. Not even a hey thanks but it’s not for us just completely ignored and I was pretty hurt. Months go by I get married and hear nothing ( I didn’t reach out I must admit) until one day I get a message, no mention of what’s happened just saying would I like to help them with there side project. I blocked them there and then.

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beepbopboo85@reddit

My mum died, told my best friend the news. I got ‘so sorry, I’m here if you need anything’. Didn’t hear anything from her for months. I felt let down by someone who I expected more from.

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T_raltixx@reddit

He met a girl that made him drop all his friends. She isolated him. They're now married.

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Savings-Carpet-3682@reddit

I had terrible luck with this. 2 of my good friends did this, one of them twice! One I never reconnected with (he’s married to her now) and the 2x offender I had to effectively save from 2 semi-abusive relationships, still friends now

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ChipCob1@reddit

It can be horrible, for about twenty years I had two really close friends who were also really close. They both had an argument and a fall out (over a drunken disagreement between their partners.) It was a pretty low level argument that could have been resolved pretty easily and would have been water under the bridge within six months. Sadly one of them died out of the blue before it could be resolved. The surviving friend was obviously devastated, she still finds it hard to talk about now (over a decade later.) Since that I always try to tackle disagreements head on, even if it causes short term pain and a massive slice of humble pie. You never know how long is left.

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PushDiscombobulated8@reddit

I (25F) had been best friends with a girl I’ve known since sixth form - 8 years or so. 6 months ago, I got married to a man whom my family - parents in particular - didn’t like because of religious beliefs. They told me they would disown me unless he converted - which he did for the sake of peace. My new husband and I have been in a relationship for 6 years. Throughout these years, I would express all the negative and toxic behaviours my parents displayed against my husband and I to my best friend, including ignoring me months before my wedding and even on my wedding day. So, the wedding went ahead… My best friend was supposed to arrive at mine to do my hair and makeup. She turned up 10 minutes BEFORE the time we were scheduled to leave… simply because she decided to spend the night at her boyfriend’s place 2 hours away from where we lived. Strike number 1. She proceeded to leave the wedding after 2 hours when there was another 4 hours left, she didn’t eat despite having a separate menu for her dietary requirements, also being aware how stressed and upset I was due to my parents ignoring me that day. Her excuse at that time was that she “had to be somewhere at a certain time”. Strike number 2. She didn’t turn up with a congratulatory card or gift - not that I’m materialistic, but not a card at the very least. Strike number 3. After the wedding was done, I returned to my parents to collect all my belongings, and my sister informed me that my supposed best friend had told my parents that she didn’t like my partner….. fully aware of the 6-year turmoil between me and my parents. She later told me she felt “uncomfortable” at the wedding. Strike number 4. Oh, and she owes me £1k, which I gave her 3 years ago. Strike number 5. I’ve kinda cut her out - it’s difficult, because I felt I lost my parents and best friend the same day. But we move

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CodAdministrative765@reddit

A very close friend. He lived a few doors down from me, a couple of years above me at school but we became friends after working together. We were like brothers. Drink, drugs, music, girls, clubs, football, food, everything together and not a single minute without fun. I hated our hometown and moved away as soon as I could, we both lived abroad for a few years, he had a very good life planned out which came crashing down through no fault of his own, but always said how much he missed home even in the best of times. We saw each other less and less (I'm still not a fan of hometown, and not back all that often if I can avoid) but always regular phone calls and messages. What I could previously laugh/shrug off as them just being them, started to really bring me down. Nothing but negativity. They'd ask for music recommendations, anything new I'd been listening to etc, "no, that's shit" to every single suggestion. Not "nah, not for me, anything else?" Just straight to "that's shit". Ask if he went to the football at the weekend "Why would I waste money watching that lot of useless wankers?". Ask if they fancied coming to an away game "Why would I go to that shithole?" Ask if they fancied coming to visit "Why? London's full of wankers". I'd had a fairly serious illness, in my recovery had been hospitalised a couple of times for my own safety and was living alone during covid, so I was not in a particularly good place. They sent a couple of whatsapps complaining about something fairly minor their mum had done, to which I replied that I wasn't feeling great and maybe not the best person to chat about. Cue a phonecall where they spent 15-20mins twining constantly about their mum, their wife, their job, their life in general, with not even so much as a cursory "how are you anyway?". I literally just "yep"and "hmmm"d my way through the call, bid a good evening and went straight to bed. Next day I sent him a fairly long message outlining why I loved him like my own flesh and blood but I just didn't want to be friends with him any more. My life is certainly not worse for it. I do miss him, though.

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banedlol@reddit

I don't think I really fell out with them, I just found spending time with them was less preferable to being alone.

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Dangerous_Day1911@reddit

This. Is this what growing up is?

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astromech_dj@reddit

No.

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reocoaker@reddit

Money.

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Savings-Carpet-3682@reddit

Friend 1 - First, typical case of got a girlfriend and friends didn’t exist anymore. This was mostly down to her though, as she was very much this type of girlfriend - Second, it became clear to me that he was sort of laughing at me with others behind my back. He unlocked his phone one day to show me something and there was a chat open with a girl I was trying to get into (a mutual friend) and let’s just say I’m a quick reader. In the half second it took him to collapse the chat, I’d seen everything I needed to see. Also I found out there was a second, secret group chat with everybody apart from me in it. I never saw it, but I knew of its existence. Friend 2: - Moved away in around year 9. Kept in touch and I actually went to visit when we were a bit older. Then, inexplicably, he started ghosting my messages and all other attempts to contact

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Verlorenfrog@reddit

The friendship had become extremely toxic, it took me many years to see it due to having low self esteem, and being loyal to the friend, who in some ways had been very good to me. But eventually I saw how I was being mistreated, and jumped every time they phoned me, and no longer enjoyed being in their company, and realised they were treating me very badly, lots of insults, sometimes done in a subtle, backhanded way, criticised things I did, etc, little things that slowly eat away at you.Very glad I ended it , feel much happier without them in my life, and I also learned a valuable lesson not to keep people in your life who don't have your best interests at heart, and to not let anyone treat you like dirt.

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CleanHunt7567@reddit

I fell out with my 2 closest friends, 1 i had known for over 25 years and the other i had been best man at his wedding after neither of them bothered to so much as send a text asking how i was when i thought i was going to die. The 1 person i was still mates with after i recovered turned up pissed out of his head at lunchtime when we last arranged to meet in the full knowledge that i had stopped drinking due to my illness 7 years previous, he could have just waited until we met at lunch for a beer rather than starting at 8 am as far as i'm concerned.

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iamdennisreynolds91@reddit

Childhood best friend who just never grew up. In our late 20’s had no desire to do anything, his life plan was to wait for his dad to die to inherit his house. My wife another friend and I were a group of four friends together and he was always a drain, complaining about not having money and then getting annoyed or sassy whenever we would go out and do things he couldn’t do financially. It came to a head when we were planning a holiday to Florida and everything he wanted to do was on a budget or skipping some of the bigger things. Whereas the 3 of us who could afford to do a lot more also wanted to do more on this holiday. He got angry and started shouting at us for rubbing our money in his face. We haven’t spoken since (4 year) and actually it has had no bad impact on any of the 3 of us. Glad he’s gone!

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RegularSlimPro@reddit

Friend from school after I came out. He had no problem with me being gay. But then when some of his other friends started making homophobic slurs about me behind my back he joined in rather than challenge them, not knowing I was round the corner and heard every word

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George9816@reddit

Best mates since 4 he stopped talking to me because a girl in our friend group didn’t like him but he had a massive crush on here. The problem is she liked me. Then she told everyone she had a dream about me and he got pissed off stopped talking to me. I should add I never had feelings for her or done anything with her

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Eyupmeduck1989@reddit

This has happened so many times to me and most of the time, these people weren’t actually my friends, they were just bullies and I was too autistic to see it. I’m embarrassed to say how often this has happened throughout my life (including into adulthood), but I do think I’m now at a place where I’m the people I’m friends with actually like me, treat me well, and don’t treat me like the butt of the joke.

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hardcoremediocre@reddit

A close friend of mine showed their true colours when I had a nervous breakdown and I started to withdraw socially/mentally/emotionally. They made it ALL about THEM! They were not there for me in the way I needed and they were very manipulative towards the end. It was time to shut it down for my own self-preservation, and I don't regret it one bit. We had good times, so I will look on that fondly, but it was not worth keeping them in my life after seeing who they really are in my time of need.

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Ordinary-Break2327@reddit

I prefer having acquaintances, not friends. Friends always take advantage of my generous nature and try to bully me for their own agenda. The worst kind of people are the ones who act like friends but turn against you upon someone else's say-so.

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Zealousideal_Day5001@reddit

he disappeared to the other side of the country for a few years, abandoning his two kids with his ex and not seeing them for the duration. I feel a bit guilty actually cos he is mad as a hatter and I acted like he was just your typical deadbeat. However there are loads of other negative things about him too that I willingly overlooked in my 20s and that don't really fit my lifestyle nowadays

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sjintje@reddit

Lots of unwholesome stories on this thread.

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One_Action_4486@reddit

Not fell out exactly. The man I would have called my best friend isn't the best at communicating so we've never spoken regularly. Never bothered me as I'm not a needy person and when we got together we could talk for hours about anything and everything. Loads in common and he's always just been a good bloke. We've known each other for 10yrs plus. I'd do anything to help him when ever needed and he's helped me plenty of times too. How ever last year, the day before his wedding I was hospitalised for a week. I was supposed to be his best man which made it worse. It was out of my control so it seemed he understood. His wedding went by without a hitch with his brother as his best man. He didn't go on honeymoon for the best part of a week, but he didn't come and visit me in hospital. I'll be honest that pissed me right off, if the boot was on the other foot I'd have been straight to the hospital to make sure he was OK. Wedding or not wedding. Friends I barely see made the effort to visit me and all asked how he had been when he visited as they all expected he would have been to see me. I was off work for 3 months after that. Pretty much bed bound, he came around to see me once in that time. While he was here he made a few comments that it wasn't that bad and I'd be fine it's just the doctors being cautious etc. Playing down the issues I have. Which nearly 8 months later I'm still suffering with badly. It really pissed me off to see the lack of empathy from him, felt like i didn't really know him after all. I haven't really fallen out with him, just given up on the friendship and let it drift away. Being hospitalised really highlighted the people that care. People I didn't expect turned up and the person I most expected to come didn't. It sucks but that's life.

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Still-Reference138@reddit

I walked away-not just because she was jealous, but because she was emotionally abusive. She wasn’t just unkind to me but to all her friends. Childish, bitter, and immature, we enabled her behavior for years, hoping she’d return to the fun, loving person she once was. But she never did. I still miss the friend I once knew, and it breaks my heart to know she’s gone-lost to her own misery. But I take comfort in knowing I chose myself. My mental health, my self-worth - they mattered more.

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JoeBagadonut@reddit

One friend was great to be around at first and shared a bunch of the same interests. Unfortunately, he also expected people to know how he was feeling at all times and had a serious victim mentality, believing that everything bad that happened to him was someone else's fault and he was completely helpless. What ended the relationship was him unfairly lashing out at a mutual friend of ours for a perceived slight, then him getting mad at me for taking the friend's side over him. I realised I couldn't change him and just told him I didn't want to be around him anymore. Another friend was just very flaky and unreliable. Great to talk to and be around but I'd go for months without hearing from them and them not responding to my messages, then they'd appear out of the blue and we'd have a good chat and I'd gaslight myself into thinking everything in our friendship was okay when it wasn't. I felt like I had to put down whatever I was doing when they did reach out because who knows when I'd next get the chance to spend time with them otherwise? We'd planned a holiday together that I'd even booked time off work for, only for them to flake out when it was time to start actually sorting flights and hotels. I felt so close to them and they always told me I was their best friend, but they'd always complain about how "busy" they were while posting pictures on social media of them living it up with their other friends. Eventually forced myself to accept that they just weren't as invested in our friendship as I was.

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Pitiful-Eye9093@reddit

Well he fucked my partner behind my back. Happened 20 years ago, haven't spoken to him since. But I did get some petty revenge, when I used to have shitbook, he came up in my suggested friends. I messaged his, then partner and said "if you think he's cheated on you, I promise you he has".

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CarpeCyprinidae@reddit

We used to smoke together regularly after work - we worked together. over the years as we got older (late 40s now) I tapered off and quit, he never did started getting angrier and more paranoid, more easily upset. I'd talk with him about his issues and try to talk him down and we'd get places then we'd see each other a week or so later and he'd be back where he was. We sued to restore old cars together. i was sick for a month or two with a pretty bad case of covid, told him at the start that I wasnt well, he messaged me a car related electrical query (I do wiring) and i didnt reply for a week as I felt unable to focus on non-essential things After that week I messaged himand found I was blocked, phone calls went unanswered, checked FB and I'd been unfriended. We'd been close mates for 22 years. I used to ignore people saying that weed would mentally break people. Now I'm one of those people saying it

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fookreddit22@reddit

For what it's worth, weed doesn't mentally break people. It has the ability to. Just like alcohol, binge eating, sex and countless other things that affect a person's dopamine regulation. It sucks that your long-term friend reacted like that.

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CarpeCyprinidae@reddit

In the same way that an axe has the ability to break windows.

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fookreddit22@reddit

I mean, that's sort of a function of a fireman's axe. What I meant is not everyone who uses weed is or will become mentally broken. It can be a potent catalyst, but there are so many variables when it comes to someone's mental health.

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VolcanicBear@reddit

I became friends with his younger brother, we smoked a bit of weed together, probably like 10 times at most. I went to uni, they both stayed at home. Younger brother got into serious drugs independently of me (mdma, not skag or owt) but at the same time that I did. Younger brother went down a pretty rough path, stealing to fund the substance abuse, getting fired etc. Although me and the original friend weren't really actively mates anymore, I thought we were alright and were on speaking terms. Me and both brothers were at a house party, all fun and games, bit of cannabis around (mine tbh) but nothing harder. 4 or 5am I go to leave, elder brother (original friend) comes out and as I'm walking he calls me, I think he's just going to say goodbye etc. Turn around into a full force sucker punch, knocked straight out. He starts screaming how that's for what I did to his brother etc. I don't really hold it against him, apparently he regrets it and (20 years later) would still like to be mates, but it's a bit awkward. His younger brother now has _severe_ mental health issues due to the substance abuse, and I'm the only one who stuck through it. Younger brother has told me the reason he ended up getting so hard into drugs was because it was the only way he ever really felt good given how shit his family treated him (not his mum though). So... Yeah. Apparently the sucker punch was when I found out our friendship had ended a while ago I guess lol.

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Morganx27@reddit

A very close friend, known him for 10 years now since we were in Y9 at school so 14-15ish. He treated me like shit last year due to a situation in which, if I'm honest, none of us involved were acting like model friends. He reached out to hang out in September of last year, I thought what the hell, let's see if he's reflected on his behaviour as I had. Spoiler alert: He had not. He said the phrase "I really feel like I was the victim in that situation" and some other stuff to that effect. He also got my pronouns wrong twice - I've been out as trans to him for about 7 years now. Not really a mistake at that point. He still sees me as the same person I was in Year 9, and I'm not. Not even slightly. He also vented at me about another situation with another group of friends in which he was repeating the exact same behaviours. He was so tremendously lucky to leave that encounter unpunched. He reached out again over Christmas, but I thought it best to ignore him, and that remains my policy for the time being. There were also a few slightly misogynistic behaviours he started showing (or I hadn't noticed previously), and as a result I just don't feel like he's right for me any more. This leaves me with like, 3 friends now, but I think it's for the best.

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Morganx27@reddit

Worth noting by the way, that hanging out with him had stopped being fun years prior. We'd go out and get drunk, and he'd get in a mood at 1 or 2 ish and sit in the corner seething until kicking out time.

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RetroRum@reddit

My mate had a kid in his 20s and his other half wasn't interested. She didn't look after their daughter, help out with basic chores, and went out partying all the time. I assumed she was sleeping around because she often wouldn't come home at night. Anyway I was there for him all the time. I'd drive them wherever they wanted to go, i looked after his daughter, bought them food, cooked them dinner and even helped clean his flat. I was basically a second dad which I really enjoyed. When I hit my 30s I got cancer, which was followed by epilepsy. He didn't support me at all. No hospital visits, lifts or even phone calls. He completely ignored me. I haven't seen or heard from him for about 10 years now.

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peekachou@reddit

I organised a big surprise party for her 18th, food, drinks, presents the whole lot, we both were pretty big on birthday celebrations. A few months later at mine I didn't even get a card and she ditched me after 45 minutes.

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Zerojuan01@reddit

I was always there when they need me. When i hit rock bottom noone really bothered how am I doing...

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pajamakitten@reddit

He was a teaching assistant in a school I did my PGCE placement in, along with five others from my course. We were treated terribly by the school and all of us had breakdowns at some point (one girl quit the course because of how she was treated by her 'mentor'). We were constantly belittled and made to feel like we could never do well as a teacher. If our lessons were not considered good enough to get an outstanding grade from Ofsted then we were considered failures. Long story short, despite seeing how we were treated and how badly it affected us all, he backed the school up and said he did not think any of the staff were in the wrong. Over a decade of friendship ended over that.

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alloitacash@reddit

On a night out, his girlfriend said I told her she wasn't good enough for him. I said nothing of the such. He believed her over me. Spoke to him once the following day when he asked if it was true, said it wasn't. Not spoken since, been about 20 years or so. Look him up from time to time, they've got a kid now. Best of luck to him.

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Blackmore_Vale@reddit

Had a friend like this. His got literally no one purse of his family who he barely sees, whilst she’s got a massive friend group and is out all the time. I don’t normally victim blame but he chose to believe her lies even though no one ever backed up her claims.

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Phinbart@reddit

Ah, the typical 'girlfriend moulds boyfriend into how she wants him by manipulating him into dumping all his friends, or those she dislikes'. I bet she goes around *her* friend group praising him for being a househusband/homebody and he has no idea what's been done to him. If that kid leaves secondary school with any friends, I'd be shocked.

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StereotypicallBarbie@reddit

Had my best friend since I was 4! So 42 years! And I can remember only one argument where we didn’t talk for a couple of weeks! Can’t even remember what it was about? But remember we met up for coffee and sobbed! That was about 20 years ago! And we haven’t had an argument since..

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Magic_Fred@reddit

I had this friend for years, she was my oldest friend. And one night on a night out, she was really rude to a waitress, really rude to a guy at a party and moaned all night about wanting to leave early and asking me to share a taxi. I was pretty pissed off, and decided I wasn't going to call her and I would wait for her to call me. 16 years later, still waiting.

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MystickPisa@reddit

I feel out with my best friend because I wouldn't tell my husband to apologise to her.

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tempingupstairs@reddit

A good friend of mine had a mutual friend moving to the city I live in. I offered to help this mutual friend get set up and sort out a lot of the admin stuff that comes with moving to a new country with a different language etc etc. We quickly became very good friends and for 4-5 years would see each other at least weekly. He would regularly have epiphanies where he would decide today was the day he was going to sort his life out / stop drinking / eat healthy / lose weight and so on. I regularly supported him with these things, going so far as to quit drinking with him a couple of Januarys in a row, plan hikes and activities for us etc etc. However, it became pretty clear that all of the stuff he hated about himself, he blamed me for. Whenever he decided to sort his life out, he would immediately limit contact with me, but would keep messaging me to try and keep me ready to go whenever he decided he fancied a beer again. This happened several times over a good few years before I eventually got sick of it. I eventually stopped inviting him out places and I later found out he'd been telling our mutual friends (who I introduced him to) that I had been ignoring him. This wasn't the case. I spoke to him face-to-face about this and he denied it all. I tried inviting him a few places after this and he kept being non-committal and flaky, so I left it. In the end I just couldn't be arsed with the hassle and how ungrateful he was given everything I had done for him when he first moved to the city. If I see him I'll be civil, but I've stopped responding to any attempt to be friends. I'm not entirely sure why he did it, but I have a couple of theories. The main one is that he had some issues with a girl he had been dating because of his bad behaviour towards her. This girl got in touch with me and my girlfriend, so I passed the information on to him. He denied what the girl said, but lots of it rang very true. I think he was too embarrassed to look us in the eye after that.

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BrieflyVerbose@reddit

Had been friends since primary school, but it was very intense. We did everything together, did all the usual things together teenagers did. Went through school together, drank and parties underage, went for my first pint with him when we were both 14. We argued all the time about literally everything but backed each other up whenever anyone else was involved. Got into crazy fights backing each other up and general things young people get up to when they're a little wild. Got to about 20 years old and the arguments between us were turning into proper confrontations and then one night in a pub carpark we fought each other properly for the first time ever. We made up and kinda got over it and then about three weeks later we had a party in his house as his parents were away. Just a sesh between lifelong friends and some girls from the town next over. We woke up to find a mutual (lifelong) friends car has been stolen while we slept. Called the police, the car was found round the corner completely written off. Turns out my mate took my other nates car for a drink and drugs fuelled drive while we slept and wrote the car off while trying to replace the CD so he didn't get caught. One more fight broke out between us, I apologise to his mother for giving her son a beating and I walked away from him. I bumped into him once about 7 years later and had a nice conversation but I wasn't going to keep it going. Its been 11 years since I saw him last.

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Blackmore_Vale@reddit

We was friends since childhood. Thick as thieves and always had each others backs. But as we grew up we become different people he surrounded himself with with fair weather friends who only hung around with because he used to throw money around and I tried to advise him these people weren’t his friends. He also become a lot more sneaky and used to think of himself as a Charlie large. But u still stuck with him as friends. What ended our friendship though was he was cheating on his gf and using being out with me as a cover (which I didn’t know about). He was finally caught when I was in Brighton one weekend he did his usual lie. But my partner had put pics of us on Facebook and obviously wasn’t in of em. Shit hit the fan, he blamed me for not covering for him and threatened to stab me. That was it have never spoke to him since.

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Glad-Business-5896@reddit

Fell out with my best friend of 5/6 years over his relationship and how he was treating us. He was being controlled by girlfriend. No question. He had to ask her before he could do anything. Some will say that’s basic respect. I say that calling your friend and arguing with her for over an hour every time you want to meet up with your mate, is not basic respect. I would also say that being called while you’re out with your friends, often in very remote locations, and being forced to drive him home because his girlfriend has decided he should, is not respectful either. One day, another friend of his and I sat down (we’ve always been closer anyway) and finally had a chat about it and decided that it wasn’t on. We didn’t like him trying to control our lives, telling us we couldn’t meet up and jam without him, but he couldn’t come because his gf wouldn’t allow it. Sick of him owing me money which he couldn’t pay back because his girlfriend wouldn’t let him. Sick of him coming out with very snobby and just, cruel things about other people, specifically poor people (his girlfriend was the daughter of a multi millionaire). So I took it upon myself to message him with a bunch of trash about his partner. Basically we’d decided we were done with him, but couldn’t do it maturely so instead I thought “if I can make him hate me, he won’t want to be friends with me”. So that’s what I did. It worked. Do I feel good about it? No. But the end result was positive as my life generally got better since I ended my friendship with him.

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Mikon_Youji@reddit

I broke up with an ex and my friend didn't think I was any fun to be around anymore because I was too sad.

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tempingupstairs@reddit

They tried to rob me, basically. He was a very good and close friend from age 4-5 but he was - to put it kindly - a total fucking waster. He was constantly in and out of jobs (some good jobs too) and squandering any opportunity he was given. He was constantly being evicted from his houses for not paying rent and was a heavy drug user. I gave him his first warning when I caught him selling drugs out of my house, where he would often spend the night after having worked in a restaurant nearby. At the time myself and my flatmate were recreational drug users and would also often have drugs in the house. I politely asked him not to do it again as I didn't want that attention on my house, and certainly didn't want the police searching the premises. A while later I saw him living rough on the street and he told me he'd been kicked out by his parents. I offered him a sofa to sleep on until he sorted himself out. He moved in on the Monday and on the Thursday I got an early finish from work and came back home to catch him emptying a few of my possessions into the back of a van. Sadly, money and desperation can turn a good friend into a bad one very quickly. He's never apologised although my mother did run into him (she has no idea about any of this) and he told her that he was too embarrassed to speak to me again as he was such a waster when he was younger. I have no idea what he's doing now but I hope he's doing better. However, sadly I cannot forgive such a violation of trust.

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fiendofecology@reddit

Our friendship was always just me walking on eggshells around her. She had massive insecurities, and always thought of the worst possible reason for someone doing something, never was convinced that anyone actually liked her. An example being I mentioned to her on an upcoming sleepover that “sorry, we don’t actually have curtains at the moment so the living room might be a bit bright” was met with “I know you don’t want me to come, your boyfriend hates me” It was utterly utterly exhausting but we also did have good times and were quite similar, in the end she was the one who ended things, and it was one of the worst breakups I’ve ever had. I still miss her. Her final straw was when she sent me a TikTok and said “see this is what I mean when I say arab guys are hot” (I’m arab) and I jokingly called her racist, and she took it very very very badly.

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psychopathic_shark@reddit

We used to be really close mates but I got a new job that meant I couldn't focus on his main interests as much as I used to and slowly we stopped keeping in touch and drifted apart to the point now where we don't even acknowledge each other's existence. I am still sad about it because he meant a lot to me as a mate and we used to keep in contact numerous times throughout the day but then I have re-evaluated things and it was only ever really his interests or issues we talked about and were all that really mattered but despite all that we did have a laugh at the time and he was really important to me. I don't feel like the time we had together was a waste and I know I will look back and smile on a lot of the memories we made. I am almost there but still hurting a little bit because I do still miss him. I also know there isn't any going back to the way we were because I noticed it was very one sided and at times a little controlling.

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FilmFanatic1066@reddit

There was a woman involved

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Calm-Raise6973@reddit

Two reasons: I couldn't get along with three of his friends (one gave off creepy vibes and the other two wouldn't talk about anything else except politics); and he didn't pay me back the £50 he owed me (no small amount when you're a student).

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SunUsual550@reddit

I fell out with my best mate from school about 10 years ago. The short answer is that we just became very different people and that was painfully clear to me. I found his personality increasingly grating. He got on to a grad scheme after doing business at uni and he just seemed to get increasingly arrogant. He would drop off the radar for months at a time, ignore texts for weeks and then get back in touch at a time convenient for him and expect me to drop everything to make time for him. He weirdly fell out with all our friends from school, one by one for the most trivial reasons and became really standoffish about seeing any of them. None of them knew he resented them because they accidentally offended him once 8 years ago or whatever and so whenever I went for a meal or drinks with old school friends I'd spend half the night getting asked what Pete was up to because no one had heard from him for years. At one point we were arranging a catch up with some of my other friends and he was his being really awkward. He wanted us to come to his city, despite the fact none of the rest of us lived there and was not answering texts so I just excluded him from the plans. He got shitty about it and I just went "I'm done with this arsehole" and haven't spoken to him since. We had a great time when we were kids and I treasure the time we had together but I don't like the person he is now and I have zero desire to reconnect with him.

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seven-cents@reddit

Money.. I did some work for a friend and he stiffed me over a few hundred quid. Then he wanted some more stuff done and I told him no because he didn't pay me what he owed me last time. That was the end of the "friendship".

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FitSolution2882@reddit

Pretty much best friends throughout years 10-13. I went to uni and he kind of floated about various jobs and got heavily into smoking weed and taking coke. I carried on binge drinking. It just became incredibly boring to deal with. I'm sure he felt the same at times. He did though start to act way above his station which finally made me cut contact.

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C0nnectionTerminat3d@reddit

This was back in high school, i was 13. She got angry with me because i had other friends i wanted to hang out with in school - mind you, i had all of my classes apart from 3 with her, so i was with her more or less the whole day anyway. I wanted to spend my break times with my other friends and she didn’t like that. She was the leader of our friend group, so that argument led to everyone else in the group thinking of reasons to dislike me - i don’t remember all of them, but one that sticks out to me as a pathetic reason was that i owed one of the girls £2.45. Since everyone in the group hated me and i *needed* a friend in my classes i gave her that money (i was an extremely poor child so this was my dinner money), she never spoke to me again. Never even said thank you. It’s been a decade and i’ve heard nothing from that girl. I ended up leaving school from extreme anxiety and depression 3 weeks after this. I haven’t seen any of them since, a few tried to reach out but i didnt entertain their attempts at conversation for very long.

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sbaldrick33@reddit

I haven't, really. Not meaningfully. There's my "best friend" from school, I suppose, but – contrary to what *Stand By Me* would have you believe – the friendships you have as are mostly vacuous allegiances of convenience and geographical proximity. Being "best friends" with someone as a child, when your circle of acquaintances topped out at around 30, doesn't mean you have to stay friends with them forever... Particularly if they grow up to be weird, alt. Right conspiraloons who think whatever any given populist mouthpiece tells them to think at any given time (which, if you couldn't guess, is my answer).

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DryJackfruit6610@reddit

Lost an entire friend group when I broke up with my ex. He used to corner me and call me an embarrassment when I made my friends laugh and I wasn't allowed male friends, even my gay friend. Raised his fist at me in the street, if my friend hadn't conveniently fallen over by accident he'd have definitely hit me there and then. He was emotionally abusive but they didn't believe any of it, even though they witnessed some of it. It's been 10 years, and I realised about 5 years ago that they weren't really friends at all. I have much better friends now :)

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SirJedKingsdown@reddit

My best mate broke up with his girlfriend and had to move out of their shared flat. He threatened suicide if I didn't agree to move in with him. Thing was, he was an absolutely crap housemate when I lived with him. Really bad. He'd wake up when I got in from work, insisted on us playing multiplayer Xbox games on my console until I went to bed, then would play single player games until 3am. In a shared room! My sleep was horrible and he was literally stopping me from using my own console, as well as being a messy slob. Based on his moaning about the reason for the break up, he'd learned nothing in a decade and I was very happy to not be sharing a space with him. I tried compromises: helping store his stuff, helping him look for a place, but that wasn't good enough. I wasn't going to take his emotional bullying any more. He decided never to talk to me unless I apologised, I said 'fine'.

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Kaiisim@reddit

It's the dumbest story ever, far more ridiculous than anything else here. We used to play games online together with a group. We played League of Legends. He absolutely could not control his temper and would ruin every single game with his negative attitude. He refused to change. It's still insane to me today, this kid we all grew up with! We were like...34!!? He just couldn't not be a baby ass bitch about a game. I eventually realised that's how he was about everything. Fuckin sucks though, he just needed to grow up and couldn't :(

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Snooker1471@reddit

One guy who was like 2 years older than me basicaly befriended me by coming over saying hello - Why don't you come to the Snooker Club I play at to play alongside me/us - we have better tables, better players and I will give you tips/coach you if you like.... A 13yo me found this fantastic - It took me off the streets when my core group were going round being "typical teenagers" - But the guy grew into a bit of a show off bully. When we played snooker and hung out with each other with a couple of others in our small snooker group he was a decent/cool guy. Go to a tournament/away games at other league venues/anywhere there was a girl - he would belittle me, Make me feel inferior/small/stupid etc. He would on occasion "playfully punch/slap me"....As I got older I became less tollerant of what I seen as his flaws. It was a shame as he could genuinely be a great guy, but he never took criticism well. We all went on a lads holiday toghether to Tennereit and it was during said holliday that he punched me full on the jaw in a lift as we were ruturning to our apartments from a night out - it was over something and nothing - he had said something in "banter" in front of others in the lift so I replied in kind and he smacked me. I told him next morning after he appologised that , that would be the very last time he would EVER do that or even talk down to me in any way whatsoever. I was by them a bigger and stronger person than him and left him in no doubt the likely outcome if he ever crossed the line with me again. And that was that. We came back from our holiday - no more drama, but the friendship was "over" in terms of he didn't want to play snooker/go clubbing, do all the stuff 18-22 yo people do. I did and so he kind of fell out our little group. What was really sad was that he actually ended up with an alcohol problem which ended in his death ap around 50yo. Sad end to a life that had a lot of promise - a very good snooker player, a very good coach too. Had a sharp brain. Lots of good things going for him....but he had that side that would seep through and eventually ruin almost every friendship he ever had, He also refused to put the extra "effort" in that was required to be a professional snooker player and sat by helpless as people who were not as "gifted" as he was went on to fame and fortune.

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Different_Gap_9780@reddit

I said "Ah, bad bum!", after seeing the naked ass of my best friend through a bus stop as she was going to pee. She'd chosen the most visible spot, and positioned in a way that you could see everything. My statement was meant as a jokey reaction to unexpected butthole, yet it was taken as a sexist remark. Cue a couple hours of them trying to convince me that my intentions were not what they were, and that I shouldn't comment on her appearance. This is after years of friendship in which we routinely ribbed each other, with her regularly referencing my looks. Our friendship never recovered. That was a very sucky day.

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AtomicKaijuKing@reddit

One of my oldest & closest friends. He got engaged, I was going through a really tough mental breakdown & was signed off of work for around 6 months. My girlfriend gave me so much support & was just there for me whenever I needed it I realised this is what I wanted in a life partner. Someone who doesn't just love me but will stand by my side through anything, so when I had returned to work I proposed to her on her birthday. Unfortunately this was really close to my friend's engagement party. We didn't want to distract from them so kept it quiet but unfortunately it got out & that night another friend's girlfriend overheard (more so was present in the conversations) the engaged couple talking about how it was wrong for me to do it when I did, she's wrong for me, we're only doing it because they are etc. This continued for months, during that time I may have said things in hindsight I should have thought through before saying out loud but was never anything intentionally malicious, which caused more tears & tension from them. They were having money issues & we were fortunate so our plans progressed quicker than theirs, which made them incredibly angry. I was constantly being told by my friend that my fiancé wasn't right for me & I should reconsider. The last straw was having a mutual friend tell me how the soon to be ex-friend told him they were really struggling as they had been declined for a loan for their wedding & not being able to plan so that I be mindful when I see him next about what I say. But when I met my friend a day or 2 later he proceeds to tell me I have ruined their plans by booking a date the week before they wanted their wedding & that we have ruined everything for them, despite not having anything booked & I wasn't even aware of when they were looking at having their wedding. I was his best man & he was mine, after that conversation I walked off & never spoke to him again. We celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary last year.

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Phinbart@reddit

Probably an element of jealousy on his part, that you were able to turn your life around in such a short space of time and he felt like you were one-upping him in effectively anything you did. Must have stuck in his craw that you went from, so-to-speak, mentally ill to - unlike him - being able to afford to get married in a number of months. Good for you that you did, though! Did he support you in any way, shape or form while you were ill, though? If he didn't, or didn't much, I think in hindsight that'd be a sign.

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AtomicKaijuKing@reddit

He was supportive during that time as were all my friends, he always had been one of my closest & most dependable friends, which is what hurt the most when they took on this stance. There definitely was some jealousy on their end, in part because we were fortunate to have family help where they could & part of it was due to his fiancé not having a supportive family. The jealousy I can forgive but the digs at my now wife & our relationship I couldn't stand for. I may not have explained the time lines well but between my proposal & our wedding was about 2 years & this all happened within the first year of our engagement. I felt like they lied to my face with what they were saying behind our backs & I didn't want them at our wedding belittling everything about it & I could no longer trust him to be my best man, it hurt at the time but I feel it was the right thing to do looking back.

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OnlyAd4352@reddit

It happened somewhat recently. Knew her since we were 5, so around 20 years of friendship. She went off on me because her bf that I barely know or see told me he wished my friend looked more like me. I told her what happened so she leaves that trash of a person but instead I’m the evil one. Yup. So childish and unexpected. She texted me paragraphs calling me all sorts of names. She even texted my partner paragraphs insulting me. I decided that I’m not dealing with this and cut her off.

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stainedtablecloth@reddit

Had a bad breakup with a girl who cheated on me and proceeded to lie to all our mutual friends about my behaviour. Spoke to best friend about it, he sympathises, says fuck her you don’t need her etc all the stuff a good friend would say. After that I was trying to get him to meet for a few months but often he just doesn’t answer, eventually he texts me and we meet after like 3 months, I find out he’s been hanging out with my ex and someone else on the weekends while ignoring my messages, and he has the nerve to lecture me about my behaviour towards her (he ate up the same lies she told everyone else ). Idk if anything was going on with them but it rubbed me the wrong way so I fucked him off rather quickly

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ChampionshipOk5046@reddit

Reconnected after years away. Turns out his mental health issues dominated every interaction we had. His misogyny and racism also became more visible, as it became more acceptable to display it, and I just had enough. "good luck". Blocked. So much less stress.

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Gatecrasher1234@reddit

My ex friend started dating my boyfriend two weeks after he finished with me. It didn't last. I believe she decided she was a lesbian later in her life. I never knew why he dated her as he was the one who finished with me. 45 years later I think his parents put pressure on him to finish with me as I was a definite "fun" girl. He went on to marry an absolute head case who died of alcoholism.

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ablab27@reddit

Told me she didn’t want to come on my hen weekend because she could not afford a holiday at the moment - which is fair enough! It was a city break which cost around £150pp initially. An hour later she put an Instagram story up to say that she’d booked a holiday to Italy with her husband - including pictures of the hotel. We’re talking super luxe, and Italy isn’t cheap in general. Probably cost in excess of £2,500.00. Didn’t like it at all when I called her out on it. We’d been friends for over 10 years, but she was such a negative person who loved gossiping that my life felt lighter almost instantly.

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Badlydressedgirl@reddit

She was faking seizures. We both worked in a nightclub, and when I wasn't doing 11pm-5am shifts, I was often spending all night and sometimes the day in A&E with her. My suspicions were raised when she had a 'seizure' in the back of an ambulance and the paramedics just watched, vaguely bemused. This incident was in the middle of a shift at the club, which I was supposed to finish early because I had to open the next Sunday morning for a market that took place during the day- instead I spent all night/morning in A&E with her, then did a 10am-5pm shift without having gone home, just wearing A LOT of perfume from the lost and found box. I was so tired I slept for 14+ hours after that. I think I should have picked up on it all being fake way before, as we spent so much time in A&E waiting rooms, whereas if the Hospital either believed her/had a record of her having seizures in the past, she may have been seen a lot faster. Then after I was fired (another story entirely), she just stopped talking to me and had never acknowledged the fact she was faking seizures, or the fact I spent hours and hours of my life supporting her (all while I was the most mentally ill I'd been in years). I later learned she got fired for (allegedly) stealing out of the till when she managed the bar associated with the nightclub we'd both worked in. Clearly just a wild individual and I'm so glad she's not in my life anymore. ALSO When I was in year 7 at school I fell out with my best-friend at the time, Lucy, because I accidentally got juice in her school at break time. She then went to our head of year and told her that I'd said a bunch of horrific stereotypes things about Irish people (Lucy's grandparents were Irish), claiming I'd called them stupid, thieves etc. I didn't say anything like that, mostly because at the age of 12 I didn't even know those were stereotypes about Irish people! I was so confused and upset, my head of year believed me.

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buginarugsnug@reddit

As we grew up, it turned out we had wildly differing world views. She didn't want to 'associate' with gay people but was ok with another good friend of ours who was gay because 'he's not like the others, he's normal'. I couldn't get past that and so just stopped speaking to her, she is no longer considered a friend.

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cant_dyno@reddit

Similar thing, slowly drifted away from my best friend naturally growing up. I also realised every time he started talking to a new girl he'd completely abandon me and the rest of the group. In one case literally in the middle of a strange city with no way to get home. But the big thing was his opinions on politics, women and race went completely right wing. He ended up in relationships with a few of my female friends and either cheated on and/or was abusive to them too. Just not someone I'd want to associate with at all. One of my other friends had a catch up with him recently and apparently he was complaining about how he has no mates left.

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FrauAmarylis@reddit

I was friends with someone for 22 years. We were each other’s Maid/Matron of Honor at our weddings. She has a strong personality, and nobody in my family or friend group liked her. She’s very moody, so I knew never to be her roommate at university because she always ended up in Big dramatic Fights with her roommates. First, I caught her in a lie. Then it was more lies, like trying to defame me to another person she knew. Then, she had a child and needed free babysitting, so she became closer with her sisters who me she always hated all those years. I just wasn’t going to believe her lies or feel sorry for her about how hard parenting is. The end.

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dickiebow@reddit

Was best friends with a guy who lived across the street from age 2-20. After going to uni to study art and getting a serious girlfriend he became who he was supposed to be. He changed from the person he was and his gf convinced him he had nothing in common anymore with his childhood friends. She saw me as a threat as I knew him so well when I was nothing but respectful to her and their relationship. Over time it became one way traffic with me reaching out to him to stay in contact. I eventually gave up and haven’t spoke to him in twenty years. One good thing to come out of it was our other friend that we were really close with has become my oldest dearest friend.

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RawWifi@reddit

Didn't invite them to my house once, they had days where they would hang out with other people but it was out of line from me to not invite them one time, it was weird going from best friends to then go to meeting in person where it was uncomfortable and felt like strangers.

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IAM_THE_LIZARD_QUEEN@reddit

Found out she was fucking my boyfriend, so yeah, that was pretty much the end of that friendship. She was also dating one of my friends that I had introduced her to, just to add to the fun.

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OnlyHereForBJJ@reddit

He got a girlfriend but cheated on her with one of our mutual friends, he saw me chatting with this girl on a night out. I didn’t know he cheated with her, I was just talking with a friend, but the next day, and for about 2 weeks later, he wanted to fight me and constantly sent me abuse via Facebook. Cut him off and got him kicked out of our shared flat in the end. Good riddance

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laputaama83@reddit

Group of three friends, me, another woman and a guy. All supportive and loving when they found out their partners had cheated on them. We were a unit of vilifying, tipsy nights out and how friends were supposed to be when one is going through shit. Then my partner did it to me and they both stopped answering their phones and replying to my messages. It really taught me a lesson about not giving part of me to people not willing to do the same

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Mdl8922@reddit

My best mate lied to me, we've not spoken in 16 years since.

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bookishnatasha89@reddit

Ermmm she just stopped replying to my messages so I stopped messaging her. Haven't talked since May last year

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PM-me-your-cuppa-tea@reddit

I've fallen out with quite a few close friends over the years, maybe it's a me problem but I'd group them into 4 different reasons/categories. 1 - squabble, we fall out over something small and insignificant but neither wants to be the first to apologise, so don't talk for a few weeks. Always resolved, normally by pretending it didn't happen. 2 - drift apart, people grow, people move, priorities change, you go from seeing each other daily, to weekly, to monthly, then one day you realise you've not seen them for four years and haven't messaged in over a year. Can be fixed by reaching out, but might not be what it used to be if you've grown too far apart. Some friendships exist like this and are as strong as ever, others aren't. 3 - re-evaluation, this one's more difficult, I've had this happen a few times, and it's when I re-evaluate the friendship or the friend. Two most recent occasions (past five years, not past few weeks) had different triggers, one friend I realised took me for granted, I'd have said we were as close as two friends can be, but then I realised it was always me doing things for her and doing her favours, and I didn't mind because she was more in need than me, but the one time I needed half as much support as she needed on a weekly basis I was palmed off, so I started really looking at our friendship over the next few months (and reflecting on it) and I realised how selfish and one sided it was so I spoke with her and expressed how I felt, and never heard from her again. The other person was someone who, again, I was incredibly close to, and got on very well with, lots of mutual friends, but I realised that she treated me incredibly well, but was actually really mean and a bit of a bully to other people, was rude to wait staff, was always causing drama with other people, and between couples, and again I took some time and realised her behaviour and treatment of other people wasn't something I wanted to endorse so I ended that friendship. 4 - unexplained, where you have no idea what happened, might be similar to drifting away, but when you reach out you're completely ignored, or it might be less of a drift and more of an abrupt ending, you don't know why, what you've done you've done, and you can't fix it because you're left in the dark.

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amazing_avax@reddit

They're not communicating with me anymore

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PoliticsNerd76@reddit

Cheated on his wife I have no time for that. My wife and I are still friends with his ex wife though.

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Puzzleheaded-Act3746@reddit

That's what happens when you develop feelings for them but don't find them reciprocated, it's definitely much worse than ending it with an argument or a fight!

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CapnSeabass@reddit

My bf agreed to host her in his apartment (I was living with him but it was ‘his’ home first) for a few days when she moved to our country (she had a couple of days before she could move into her apartment in another city). His one rule was “please don’t smoke weed in the apartment, go outside to do it”. As soon as he was out the door she was like “but we don’t have to actually go outside right? We just won’t tell him”. I found this blatantly disrespectful. A few months later I had an early miscarriage and when I told her about it she went on for ages about how upsetting this was… for her. I limit communication nowadays.

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Nyx_Necrodragon101@reddit

She kept calling me at 3am complaining that her bf knocked her up again and was cheating on her, yet again. On a work night. After the 3rd time this happened I told her I wasn't going to keep picking up after her. She developed a cycle get with bf > bf gets her pregnant > bf cheats on her > bf leaves her for woman he cheats on her with > bf gets dumped by side chick and comes crawling back - return to the beginning lather, rinse, repeat. She managed to piss off my best friend who was renting a room in her council house so he'd left. This was her only source of income. She did the usual thing: "I'm a strong, independent woman. I don't need him" and I gave her some money to tide her over. Needless to say she gets back with him just as predicted and then as time goes by the cycle repeats she calls me up at 3 am pregnant with her 4th saying she needs somewhere for her and the kids I said to her "Well good luck with that" she acted all surprised and I reminded her how I told her last time that I wasn't going to clean up after her. She called me a 'stupid spoiled posh whore' who thinks she's better than everyone else because she has money.

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CityOfNorden@reddit

I started going out with a girl, who used to go out with another of his friends. He didn't like it, so was incredibly nasty to her. Apologised, then did it again. So I told him I was done with him, because I was sick of my girlfriend going home crying, everytime we saw him. He wouldn't take responsibility and said he hadn't done anything wrong and she was probably just "feeling guilty". So I knew I'd made the right choice. Even though that relationship didn't last, I've still never spoken to him again. When someone shows you who they are, believe them :)

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Carinwe_Lysa@reddit

Not a falling out, but more just going different ways in life really? We knew each other from reception all the way until leaving secondary school. But turns out going to wildly different colleges & meeting different friend groups goes a long way to abruptly stopping contact. I found a new friend group who had different likes, and were really lovely people, meanwhile they went to a building college and still kept the "lads lads lads" mentality going on. All my friends through school were mostly boys who just played football & videogames 24/7, so meeting a new mixed gender group who were into all sorts & social stuff, it was amazing to see what I'd missed out on. I stopped talking to my group of friends since leaving secondary school, but thankfully became closer friends with some people I was vaguely acquaintances with! Funny enough, I did run into my old best friend when we were in our twenties, and we were both vastly different people to when we were in school sadly. Absolutely no connection there at all, contrast to that we were always round each others houses as kids/teens etc. Also, a couple of the others from the original school group once randomly called to my house when I was 18/19. I've still no idea why but I didn't let them in & basically the conversation lasted maybe 2 minutes? Asked me if I liked this girl from secondary school still, said what on earth are you going on about, then I just went back inside lol.

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lengthy_prolapse@reddit

He realised his girlfriend was annoyed that I'd never made a pass at her (she was my friend long before she met him). It was simpler for him to be angry with me than be angry with his gf.

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JC3896@reddit

They outed themselves as homophobic.

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heggy123@reddit

I moved country, she became to busy to talk to me

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Ok_Kale_3160@reddit

A few of them because of their horrendous boyfriends. I wouldn't say I actively argued with them about it, just sort of drifted apart. It's pretty sad, one of them currently doesn't seem to be allowed out, and just makes excuses all the time why she can't. Another one got with this real wrongun who was eventually very physically abusive. She got out of that relationship luckily and now I do chat with her occasionally. I would concider meeting up sometime now. What really put me off before as well my other friend would say she would always beg for money for stuff for her kids. But it was no surprise as the boyfriend was spending all their money on drugs too.

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Salt_Description_973@reddit

She started being jealous after releasing how behind in life she was from the rest of us. It made me realise all the small things I was not caring about because we were friends for so long. She was immature and every situation she acted as if we were teenagers again not full grown adults. I eventually realised I didn’t like her as a person and I couldn’t even explain to her why because it was just hard

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olimeillosmis@reddit

Realized over time that he was a narcissist. He wanted to control every minor, inconsequential thing. It was suffocating and tiring just being around him, like I was walking on eggshells.

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Ok-Kitchen2768@reddit

I had a good friend when I was a teenager who blocked me because I didn't want her to sleep with my boyfriend in my bed. She reached out a couple years ago after blocking me for 5 and wanted to rekindle the friendship, but it just went down further in flames. We had grown apart and I thought grown up a bit, but she just wanted to go out drinking and do drugs. I was under the illusion we were going on a girls trip together to make up our friendship and spend time together going out for cocktails and shopping, but nope, when I left and tried to talk about how I misunderstood what the girls trip was actually going to involve, she called me a selfish bitch and other insults. So I blocked her back. Felt a little full circle. Anyway now I'm dating her cousins friend and I'm probably going to his wedding, and as far as I know, her and her family aren't invited.

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Background-Factor817@reddit

I was always there for him so much over the years. I never got nothing back, except asked him to be my best man at my wedding. He messaged me the morning of the wedding saying “Sorry champ can’t make it, we’re stuck in traffic at Dover, probably catch you soon.” He could pick and choose what days he worked, and a few days after our wedding his new girlfriend tagged him on a getaway together. Fuck him.

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20127010603170562316@reddit

He's just become a bit of a hermit. Last year, almost to the day, I went round his house with a birthday card and present. He was just rude and dismissive to me. I excused myself earlier than planned, and said "well, I'm sorry you're not feeling yourself today. Hope you feel better soon!" to which he just grumbled at. We were never quite the same after that. I tried calling him a lot, but usually went unanswered. I know he has his phone within reach, he's just being a dick. He only has about three friends in this town, he's alienated two of us, and the other one is getting sick of him moping around his house. He's obsessed by tiktok now. He basically does stuff with puppets that is ripping off other, more original, content creators? Not really my jam, but we have snooped on him. He got a woman younger than his daughter pregnant recently, he hasn't even mentioned a gf to anyone. We'd been friends for over twenty years. He just got a bit weird and antisocial and generally being a dickhead. I know it's not just me, because I speak to his other two friends fairly regularly.

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Aromatic-Story-6556@reddit

She thought I was being horrible to her and avoiding seeing her… I had terrible anxiety and depression. I told her this and she didn’t believe me because “depression isn’t real”.

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durkheim98@reddit

Well we were out for her birthday, a pub crawl of sorts and I wound up getting into an argument with one of her other mates. Then when she intervened I wound up arguing with her, then I left. Obviously not something you'd want to happen but not a big deal either. The following day I apologised but a lot of the things she said made me realise there was a simmering resentment underneath and that argument was just a small part of it. The problem with that is that the blame was very one one sided because I had overlooked a lot of her bad behaviour over the years. In her mind it was black and white. After about a year it seemed like we were making up and it was her idea to start hanging out again but she kept making plans and then cancelling them. So I was like, 'Suit yourself, I haven't got time for this'. The gist I got from a mutual friend is that her boyfriend didn't want me around. She and I had a platonic thing going on and used to go out, so presumably he saw his chance. Haven't spoken to her for about 3 years now.

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AerodynamicHandshake@reddit

My best mate from starting school until early 20s. We'd been hanging out playing on the Xbox and then gone out for a bit, had a smoke outside and he wanted to go back in and grab his Xbox controller before heading off. Fair enough, pop in and grab it. Off he went for five minutes and came back empty handed. "Couldn't find it, I'll get it tomorrow". Sound, see you later pal. Went back in and went to my room, I'd left my phone (we're talking early camera phones before smart phones here) on charge in my room. Opened it and found Bluetooth was switched on, thought that's odd so I checked it and he'd found all the photos of my partner at the time and sent them to his phone. Nice. I had to laugh at the slapdash nature of it, not only leaving it all switched on but the Xbox controller he couldn't find was right next to it!

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DrM-Toboggan@reddit

Friends from nursery, we were both into smoking weed, he did other stuff too, but was never an issue. I moved away from my home town, and when I came back we would hang out and smoke. I came back one time because my dad was in a hospice dying of cancer. He knew why I was back, and he asked me to take him to pick up weed in the next town over. Stopped having anything to do with him after that.

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Early-Slice-6325@reddit

My best friend became close with my sister, who has a feud with me because I blocked her. My sister, who can be difficult when not on her bipolar medication, made it her mission to get back at me for blocking her. Her way of doing that was by stealing my best friend. I realized my best friend no longer follows me on Instagram: she's been poisoned against me. Despite me warning her all my life about how hard my sister can be, she made her choice. She’ll find out soon enough. I unfriended her and deleted her number, deciding not to have her in my life anymore.

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kylehyde84@reddit

Money

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MGSC_1726@reddit

I’ve had to distance myself massively from my ‘best friend’. She’s just extremely toxic. We are in our 30s and she still behaves like she’s 15. We are mums and she’s constantly putting men before her daughter, cheats on men, lies constantly. Over the years I was able to say ‘she’s not a very nice person but she’s always been alright with me’ and could dismiss a lot. But as I’ve got older, and she’s froze as a teenager, I just cannot be arsed with the drama that surrounds her.

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