Has anyone had a period in their life where things were going great? When it stopped how did you cope, or do you have the attitude that “it was fun while it lasted?

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Andyetnotsomuch@reddit

Problem is more “you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone”. Many times better in retrospect!

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I was miserable overall from 25 to 35. It all stemmed from making big career decisions without really having a clue who I am and what makes me tick. Also dealing with lots of childhood baggage and thinking we'd be childless after trying for 5 years. Now me and my hubby (of 25 years) changed our high flying careers that caused us both to have mental breakdowns. Had counselling for the baggage had a child and now we live happily with our 8 year old girl. When I was miserable i was sometimes happy but you can't substitute that feeling of peace everyday instead of stress. I still have a anxious or tricky days but on the whole I know who i am have a job I love and just being a mum makes me happy even when its super hard I feel lucky

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asphytotalxtc@reddit

I went through a massive bad patch, let go at work... COVID hit, diagnosed with stomach cancer.. the ensuing unrelenting depression caused by years of holding things together despite it all at the expense of the savings I'd originally intended to buy a house.. close to suicide on one occasion. I'm riding a high wave right now, beat cancer, beat depression, found a job that I love that pays more than I've ever earned before (by a significant amount) and found the love of my life.. all in the last two years. When this high period ends, I'll enter it full in the knowledge that no matter how far down you can go... Eventually you'll bounce off the bottom and fly higher than you could have ever imagined.

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tinytempo@reddit

glad to hear you are doing better my man! may i ask what red flags there were for stomach cancer? (sorry to be morbid - but it's kinda relevant to my life right now)

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asphytotalxtc@reddit

It's okay! I'm happy to share my experiences! There's something humbling about spending so much time at your local cancer ward... For me, it was persistent upset stomach... Like, acid all the time.. followed by the fact that I was losing SO much weight, despite eating normally.. I literally turned into a shadow of my former self.. just really looking gaunt and well.. Ill to be honest. Eventually ended up throwing up what looked like coffee grounds on a daily basis which finally kicked me to have things looked at. I later learned this was actually blood... I was very early stage when I finally got it looked at.. 1b, maybe on the verge of 2... Some serious courses of radiotherapy managed to nail it along with a LOT of support from the cancer unit. It was a hard time of my life but managed to get through it.

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gegorb@reddit

God that’s awful. Stay well ✊

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asphytotalxtc@reddit

Thank you 😊 am trying! Lol

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tinytempo@reddit

So happy to hear you nailed it! Wow. Scary stuff. For more details, what exactly were the ‘upset stomach’ symptoms? And how much weight did you lose? Reason I ask is I’m currently battling what I believe to be gastritis and have lost significant weight. Will be doing another endoscopy soon and further tests..

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asphytotalxtc@reddit

The upset stomach symptoms were (sorry to do this!) Runny, uncontrollable, diarrhea constantly, and terrible acid reflux for me. It can be different with everyone though so don't take that as gospel. Weight wise, I went from 12 stone to about 8 stone over the course of almost a year. As you can imagine, for a fairly tall guy.. I was doing a proper skeletor impression 🙄 It was diagnosed soon after my (third I think) endoscopy... I do not remember those moments well... That was a horrible experience. I wish you well for your next endoscopy... It's worth it in the end X

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limedifficult@reddit

I was never happier in my entire life than when my long awaited and desperately hoped for baby started mostly sleeping through the night at seven months and I finally got to start enjoying motherhood. We had an absolutely blissful year after that before I went back to work. I regularly had the thought to myself “I will never be happier than I am right now. This can’t last.” And of course it didn’t. There were rough years ahead. But he’s five now and I feel occasional glimpses of that stupid level happiness again. I look back on that year with such gratitude - to have felt such joy was such a privilege.

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Defiant-Salad-7409@reddit

I wish you had substituted episode for period. I thought we were discussing something completely different.

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Whyisthethethe@reddit

Yeah the entire first 15 years. Then everything turned to shit though lmao. It’s like paying off a debt

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PossibleCupcake1418@reddit

Here's the key, never have fun or allow it to be great, live in constant anger and hate and you'll never be disappointed.

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smolperson@reddit

I am currently earning a high salary fully remote and am able to travel very frequently and tick off my bucket list while being in a solid long term relationship. My visa doesn’t last much longer though so I’m preparing myself to return to a more boring life!

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rbsudden@reddit

It was fun while it lasted, back to the world of dreams.

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Guilty_Struggle_6089@reddit (OP)

Nice attitude to have.

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rbsudden@reddit

When the universe gives you lemonade ... ummm... swap it for whisky? ... or something, I forget.

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rev9of8@reddit

Cave? Cave Johnson?

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GammaPhonic@reddit

I was (and in many ways still am) far too depressed to cope with my life taking a shitty turn. I’m doing better now, but I don’t think I’ll ever really recover.

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Tnuoccatset6476@reddit

Not with that mentality! I understand it can be insanely difficult to get out of that rut. But that rut can be ignored/controlled long enough to squeeze in a positive thought here and there. At least enough to let yourself realize that positivity isnt dead and you still have hope for a chance at a better life

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GammaPhonic@reddit

I didn’t mean it to sound so defeatist. In this instance “recover” means to be the person I was before. But that’s just not going to happen because I’ve changed as a person. Not necessarily for the worse, but probably not for the better.

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Guilty_Struggle_6089@reddit (OP)

Recover from what if you don’t mind me asking

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GammaPhonic@reddit

Well, it’s a long story. But the short version is a massive mental breakdown. Followed by a decade of struggling with anxiety and depression. And an eventual autism diagnosis. I’m generally okay now. But I’ll never again be the person I was in my 20s. And now I’m nearly 40 and still carrying that shit around. Still, could be worse.

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Guilty_Struggle_6089@reddit (OP)

I’m sorry to hear that. Glad you are getting by as best as you can

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FightDisciple@reddit

I'm waiting for my turn, mines more of a 32 year period of shit. 😂

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Ok_Employ8297@reddit

I had a perfect 15 year career I loved and was paid a small fortune. Lost it all because of a vindictive ex partner who destroyed everything. I miss the job every day, spent 2 years depressed and now earn a third of what I did before. I'm bitter every day and I've really had to prevent myself going after her and doing some serious damage. It gets better with time but it'll stick with me forever.

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Guilty_Struggle_6089@reddit (OP)

Shit sorry that sounds awful. I can’t imagine what you are going through

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YchYFi@reddit

It was fun and great. Then something terrible happened that can never bring anything proper back again. I can never shake the feeling that we are on the wrong timeline. That we had a sliding doors moment.

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Tnuoccatset6476@reddit

Be happy that it happened, not that it’s over. Appreciate that even though there is significant pain afterwards, the joy throughout was still something so many people only dream about. When you look backwards instead of forwards, it’s most likely a self-esteem issue that you have to sort out at it’s core. Of course no matter how amazing you are, if you’ve been through something like this, then your self-esteem is going to lessen by nature and the best thing to help with that, apart from effort on your side, is TIME.

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Has anyone had a period in their life where things were going great? When it stopped how did you cope, or do you have the attitude that “it was fun while it lasted?

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31 Comments

notimefornothing55@reddit

Andyetnotsomuch@reddit

Eastern_Idea_1621@reddit

asphytotalxtc@reddit

tinytempo@reddit

asphytotalxtc@reddit

gegorb@reddit

asphytotalxtc@reddit

tinytempo@reddit

asphytotalxtc@reddit

limedifficult@reddit

Defiant-Salad-7409@reddit

Whyisthethethe@reddit

PossibleCupcake1418@reddit

smolperson@reddit

rbsudden@reddit

Guilty_Struggle_6089@reddit (OP)

rbsudden@reddit

rev9of8@reddit

GammaPhonic@reddit

Tnuoccatset6476@reddit

GammaPhonic@reddit

Guilty_Struggle_6089@reddit (OP)

GammaPhonic@reddit

Guilty_Struggle_6089@reddit (OP)

FightDisciple@reddit

Ok_Employ8297@reddit

Guilty_Struggle_6089@reddit (OP)

YchYFi@reddit

Tnuoccatset6476@reddit

AutoModerator@reddit