I am tired of how I’m sometimes treated as an American in the UK

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shalekodemono@reddit

Idk this sounds nothing like the level of harassment other ethnicities receive in this country. In two of your stories people stood up for you.... I don't get why such a pity party.

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Prestigious_Plenty_8@reddit (OP)

I never claimed to compare my experience to them. I know it’s not. Things can be not that bad in the grand scheme of things and still hurt your feelings.

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brn2diex@reddit

im from the uk, and i love me an american man

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Shit-talking, banter and sarcasm is deeply embedded within our culture and is simply how many people bond here. We know you're a privileged American, so there is no reason for us to be careful around you. So you'll get treat the same as any other Brit, or European. A cockney from London is going to get plenty of shit up North, and same vice versa.

Most don't mean it as a personal attack, when people push buttons they're looking for you playfully to push them back to gain their respect. It's a common joke here most Brits met their mates by doing something horrible to them, or embarrassing themselves and we all think our mates are pricks. But lovable ones. The love comes from the honesty, they're being their true selves and aren't performing niceness, which clashes deeply with the (from my perspective) performative culture in America. They want to see you loosen up, have a laugh and don't take shit seriously. That can be difficult to understand as a neurodivergent (I'm AuDHD) but there isn't a way around it, as cruel as it is.

Just be thankful you're not French.

Thanks. I don't want to deny anyone else's lived experience obviously but I grew up with a few US expats around me who fit in and were liked as well as anyone.

There's aspects of British daily life that are very different even if we share a common language. Saying one thing and meaning the opposite is a big one, and people are generally more reserved and less social. But even if people have smaller social circles, the friendships you do make tend to be genuine and lasting ones. And it's like you said - as long as you know a few good eggs, who cares about anyone else.

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nkshaf@reddit

This is absolutely my lived experience as an American in the UK. I'm a New Yorker and have lived throughout the northeast where culturally people are a bit more reserved as well and most people tolerate having a little fun at each other's expense, so I think I integrated pretty well from that perspective. But this is a very different place to grow up than say the south or out west. However, NYers can also be known for their volume and straight talk so I've had to do some adjusting in that regard which is not always successful. I also didn't move here until I was in my 40's, so I grew up during a time when teaching etiquette still mattered. I really think age and where you are from in the US, make a huge difference to how well people acclimate to life in the UK.

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solarnoise@reddit

I live in southern England and I don't know about you or your mates, you're lovely people I'm sure, but almost all the millennial aged men here are just straight up bullies.

Like ohh it's only banter...until it goes on uncomfortably long, and they just dig in deeper. I've explicitly said I wasn't comfortable with how a convo was going, and the response has never once been one of compassion and apology. It's always framing it like I'M the problem. Or I'll find out those guys (my supposed friends) just go on making fun of me behind my back.

I’m English and have lived here my whole life. I’m also someone who really dislikes the culture of ‘banter’ bordering on cruelty/ constant irony instead of sincerity etc. But I will say to an extent it’s a matter of who you choose to spend time with. As an adult I don’t feel I’m surrounded by that culture in my friendship groups, social circles and communities. It’s not a big part of my life. As a teen - absolutely. But as an adult, if you choose the right area for you and find your people, you don’t have to be around that sort of culture very often ime.

It might help that I’m autistic and have naturally become friends/made community w other neurodivergent people, and we tend to be more sincere and less likely to fall in with the dominant culture. The people I’m able to be around are kind, sincere, might lightly tease you but nothing like the sort of essentially bullying that was so prevalent in the people I was around in my teens.

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Pristine-Ad-4306@reddit

What I'm thinking too. Everywhere I've been there are always a lot of shitty, petty, nasty people, and you just have to seek out and befriend the exceptions to that. The key is to not waste much time on people that aren't good and kind.

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moon_dyke@reddit

Yes - I think a lot of the time people end up surrounded by people they don't gel with and just think, 'well, I guess this is my lot. That's just what it's like.' No: there will be people who are kind and will resonate with you, you just have to not settle and to keep looking.

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blueberrybasil02@reddit

That’s the weird thing to me to: their perverse pride in being mean sarcastic d;cks. If you don’t act properly impressed by a humorless joke, they may stop even pretending to joke around and have a go at you. I mean sure, there’s great British humor but sorry, not all of you are clever geniuses and your supposedly fabulous manners? Don’t get me started. Apologies to the many lovely ones. We all have our crosses to bear as they say in some parts.

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solarnoise@reddit

The manners thing is a complete myth, in my experience. It's just a set of rules they can exploit to be passive aggressive and get away with it.

An example: I was standing in a long queue at a bus stop. An older man's wife comes and stands right in front of me, and then he comes and joins her. I said "excuse me, there's a queue" and he pleasantly responds "oh my wife was here waiting for me" and I'm like "...yes and I was here first?" and they dropped the pleasant act, rolled their eyes at me and he goes "well if it means that much to you" and they move behind me. Then when the queue started moving, they rushed ahead of me and crowded around the bus door to get in before me.

This happens all the time. Constantly. And I don't recall a single time someone has just owned up to their bad behavior. It's like they're incapable of it.

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RealMrsWillGraham@reddit

Sorry - we really are anal about queues. It is seen as bad manners to jump in front of someone in a queue.

Having said that, their attitude was shitty, especially rushing around you to get to the bus.

We also tend to complain about long queues in supermarkets.

My grandpa was an absolute legend, he was a tank commander in WW2 and one of the last surviving vets in his area. He was in the newspapers a few times for it.

Ha. Living in Scotland with an American accent, I find people always ask me whether I’m Canadian. They’re terrified of offending a Canadian by assuming they’re American.

It's better that way anyway... I'm Canadian and moved to Australia, and literally a few days after I got here, I went to an Australia Day bbq in a nearby park and started talking with the new neighbours. One lady straight-up refused to believe I was Canadian, kept calling me American and said to go back to America, why am I here celebrating Australia if I love America so much, etc. Kept going no matter how many times I told her I was Canadian. It was the dumbest thing ever, and I wondered if so many Americans pretend to be Canadian that it's coming back on us :P

On the upside, that hasn't happened often lol. In fact it's more common that people know some Canadians and guess I'm Canadian right away; one guy even guessed what province I'm from. Still though I thought it was a kinda funny story with the bbq lady.

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ChillMohawk@reddit

What has worked for me in the past, when a foreigner is going off about American politics, is saying this: “155 MILLION people voted in the 2024 election. Almost half, 70 MILLION people, absolutely despise Trump and voted for Biden. I am one of those 75 MILLION people.”

This is even more effective when they realize that 70 million is greater in size than their entire country (which is usually the case).

England’s population is around 56 million fyi.

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eskimo1@reddit

Since the election, I've been telling people I meet here in Spain that I'm Canadian.

Yep. I was an American teenager growing up in NW England during the Bush presidency. I never stopped getting shit. I would have to just eat every "trash can" joke in the world, every reference to politics, stupid americans, fat americans, etc...

But all you have to do is just find a few comebacks. Don't just roll over. If they tell you no one wants a yank therapist, ask "would you rather have me or another Tory?"

At the end of the day, it's just banter. Refocus them on talking about the shitty parts of the UK, then you have common ground. It won't stop you from making really good friends. Your friends will still give you shit. Just learn how to give it back.

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1ATRdollar@reddit

I need you to write my come backs

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I’m in Nottingham

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greenolivesaremylife@reddit

London here. And like OP, I would get a ton of shit for being American. Did not matter where I went. Strangers even coming up to my table to tell me what they thought of Americans. I think my problem was that I was too approachable and made too much eye contact. Too sensitive and too friendly.

I’ve gotten it all. We’re too loud, we’re so stupid for voting for Trump, we’re workaholics, too confident, smile too much, our food is full of chemicals, we have shit healthcare, we clap for planes landing, our toddlers have guns, our infrastructure is shit, prom for high schools is stupid and extreme, etc.

My response to them was always the same. Mate, I didn’t design or create America.

I don’t know if this will help OP, but what helped me is that I’ve gotten “colder” and I’ve perfected my “leave me alone” vibe. I don’t bring up America in conversation. And if I still get still shit, I just stay quiet while they talk. I don’t give them a response or try to explain/apologise for America. I just say I don’t know or don’t care for discussing it.

Switch the subject to the weather or complain about pint prices getting too high. Ask if they’re watching Traitors.

That being said, a lot of people are lovely and don’t mean any harm when they ask. And to be fair, even I’ve gotten annoyed with other Americans. Usually tourists who are so loud.

A lot of Brits love to complain. It’s just what they do. We’re living in their land. Gotta get used to it.

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drizzy117@reddit

Don't let you being colder stop you from being you. Brits are miserable people who take pride in being dicks and I say this as a Brit. Americans/Canadians are so much nicer to be around

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istealreceipts@reddit

That's probably a critical factor, being in Nottingham.

We're friends with a few folks from Nottingham who moved abroad. One of those friends went back for a visit last year, and got randomly punched in the face, knocking him out and breaking his nose. It happened in broad daylight, and the offender told the police "I thought he was someone else".

There are probably better places in the UK, but it depends on your appetite to move and your ability to move and/or find work.

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Prestigious_Plenty_8@reddit (OP)

Oh my god that’s wild. I might move to Brighton.

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istealreceipts@reddit

I know Nottingham doesn't have a great reputation, but that could be said if most places in the UK.

I heard once an American girl say "I don't have to carry the guilt of my country" during a group gathering in Sweden.

So thay was a clear cut

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Putrid-Cantaloupe-87@reddit

I've been living in Japan for 2 decades now and I have an American friend that I go out with.

One time when we were out, a Japanese guy comes up to us, asks where my mate is from and starts going on about Trump and other current American topics.

He turns to me and I say I'm Australian and all he had to say was "Koalas are cute".

Most Americans I've met have been great, but the one thing they have in common is they've left the US. They have a wider perspective of the world.

Internet Americans can come off as really stupid. I think these are the ones that others generalise as being typical Americans and therefore easy to hate. This can be seen in the "y'all voted for this" comment.

Here in Tokyo, we have a mix of people from so many countries. I have recently made friends with some Spanish speakers and learning about South American politics and what each country thinks of the others is an eye opener.

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Quin35@reddit

There is a reason why those to travel abroad are generally nicer, smarter, and more considerate. There's a reason why those who don't, generally aren't.

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spnchipmunk@reddit

I disagree.

those to travel abroad are generally nicer, smarter, and more considerate

I've met plenty of intolerant, entitled, ignorant, asshats from all over when I travel. The worst were Canadians, but I've experienced this with Americans, Aussies, Canadians, Germans, and Spaniards.

Yes, traveling can make a person more understanding and open to the world around them, but an ass is always gonna be an ass, regardless of if they travel. And considering that there are a million reasons why someone may not be able to travel, generalizing them in a negative light is biased.

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Putrid-Cantaloupe-87@reddit

Are you making a distinction between people who travel abroad and people who live abroad?

The_Angry_Imp@reddit

I think America is disrespectful and takes all our industry and appropriate our culture yet consistently cast us as bad guys and evil imperialists...

How do you think I feel about our worst enemies. We thought America was at least trying to grow but look at you're new leader... nah America can get all the way out of british affairs.

Only reason America is even relevant is because at the end of ww2 they took advantage of Europe and created a empire of there own to control and own... Americans say they love freedom but they won't give it to anyone not American and tried to take it from themselves in mk ultra... pathetic excuse for a nation even if it is a nation of traitors.

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Prestigious_Plenty_8@reddit (OP)

If someone I knew was from Russia I wouldn’t bully them about Putin

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The_Angry_Imp@reddit

Beyond that I'm not sure what relevance Russia has

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The_Angry_Imp@reddit

So are you trying to articulate that you're irish who moved to America. If you're gonna try justify dumb crap because of history I should let you know I've just had to Bury my Grandad who almost died in IRA bombings and had trauma from them... bombings that almost killed my mum and did kill their frainds.

I'm from America, and SEVERAL times people from England or the UK have said something like "if you visit, pretend you're from Canada" or, "don't say you're from the states" or "don't travel there alone" etc. etc...

like, no offense, but there's nothing intimidating about England. I'm from the bronx, NY, and you're trying to scar me? I never understood it haha.

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RealMrsWillGraham@reddit

Not trying to intimidate you - but the UK is feeling very anti-Trump and not inclined to be friendly towards any American, even if you are a Harris voter.

Not fair I know, but one young woman from Wales was pretty badly treated by ICE.

She tried to enter Canada, but apparently had the wrong visa.

ICE in Tacoma WA said she was an illegal alien in the US and arrested her when Canada refused her entry.

They held her for 19 days and when she was eventually released she was put in chains to be put on the plane home.

Incidents like this are making things worse.

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Dry-Pomegranate7458@reddit

it's still nothing compared to some of the neighbourhood in my home city

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RealMrsWillGraham@reddit

True, but right now we are pretty shocked at what is going on with Trump.

I am not surprised thought, as even a young white French woman was abused and threatened on a bus in Melbourne a few years back.

I am a US citizen in Europe, the only time I really felt that I connected with a MHP was when she was half American. Her English language accent was American and she understood my cultural references. Her mom is American and her father is Dutch, but they've always lived in NL. Unfortunately she is not a therapist but was doing a screening for me.

I really wish she were a therapist though! Because the "expat therapists" are not covered by insurance and charge like €150 a session, which is way out of reach for me.

So all of that to say... an American therapist in another country could absolutely find success with clients that are US expats.

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StairwayToLemon@reddit

I’m also just tired of well intentioned people asking me unprompted what I think about Trump. I understand they wouldn’t want anything to do with someone who did support Trump. But it gets tiring

My natural state is being very nice to people, but actually, I don't HAVE to be. I've added such gems to my repertoire as:
* I don't feel like talking about this / I prefer not to talk about this right now. (good all-rounder)

* Talking about this makes me upset, so can we please change the subject. (good for in-laws)

* Wow, what a thing to say! And to me, an American! (good for acquaintences / civil but firm call-out)

or if someone is pro-trump, as I've found taxi drivers and drunk men sometimes tend to be:

* I don't agree with what you're saying, you don't know what it's like to be afraid to send your kids to school or be afraid you won't be able to have an abortion if you're raped, so I'd appreciate if we stop talking about this and you put on some music. (good for when you want to fight)

* *walk away*. (good for bars/parties with people you don't really want to see again!)

Obviously this can be as aggressive as you want, and I would say I've only "gotten into it" once or twice and it can be scary depending on where you are, but reminding people this is a lived reality can help.

A bit of positive perspective: you ARE special and unique and "not from here," and you will be remembered. There are many, many, many people you will meet over the years who you will forget, because they are, frankly, forgettable. You am forgettable, too! But... you're not. People remember you because you're not just another person at the party. You talk differently. You act differently. This can be intimidating because it's obviously a PITA to be a representative for a group all the time, but it's also an honor. It presents opportunities for deeper discussions beyond the bloody weather, and it's also an extremely quick filter for Good Folk who want to engage.

Hope this helps. Chin up, it gets better, and if you stay and make this your forever home, you will adjust and find your people who help you embrace what makes you unique and understand you.

Makes sense. I can do English accents quite well myself, even Cockney. Many years I got to drinking with some English soccer fans in a bar somewhere in France and they had the accent. We were having fun so I started talking like them and they loved it. Sound I sounded just like them. We got smashed. lol

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buscoamigos@reddit

I visited a colonial prison in Perth last year and it absolutely made me more sympathetic to Australians who were part of the penal colony system.

Honestly, America still has tons going for it. I’m one of the few liberals who still says this. Europeans love our media and entertainment industry. It’s literally the go to in the world. Whether Hollywood, or music, including Nashville and hip-hop, or theater and Broadway. America is number one there. Lift up the things that are positive about America.

I grew up in Central America until I was 15, and believe me being American was looked down upon. But all of my friends at private school would vacation in Disney World and listened to hip hop music lol.

CanWeNapPlease@reddit

It'll die down. If you're planning on living in the UK for a while, your accent WILL change, trust me. Mine has changed enough that very rarely do people ask me now, maybe 2-3 times a year.

This will be more so once you're in a full time job - the people you work with will get bored of your Americanisms once they're past the initial phase. At my old job, I went with the first year with lots of people asking me, to nobody ever caring about it again over the course of 3 years.

That's it. I keep in contact with some American friends but it's via social media, not talking. I'm 100% immersed into British accents every single day.

When I go to the US, people actually ask if I'm British. I've been living in the UK for 10 years.

The British accent is also not just the way you pronounce words but also where you put emphasis in your sentences and how you construct them too.

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Forward_Pear_@reddit

I agree. While I was there, I subconsciously learned to not exactly ‘hide’ my accent, but it just became toned-down a little over time from being surrounded by people speaking with UK accents, and I noticed fewer people would ask me where I was from. Some people just assumed I was Canadian, without me lying about it. When people did find out I was American they would often ask about politics & Trump, but it was usually from a sympathetic perspective. I imagine it’s worst right now because with the inauguration it’s on everyone’s minds—but I wouldn’t expect it to continue to be quite such a popular topic as time goes on. I’d come up with a boiler-plate response to distance yourself from it and change the topic, like “Oh yeah, can’t stand the guy, it’s all so depressing. By the way, what are your thoughts about Prince Charles?” Usually people (who aren’t too hammered) will take the hint that you don’t feel up to discussing it.

We respond casually that the US is pretty stable, especially considering Korea recently declared Martial Law, the UK had a PM for about a Fortnight, France is confused, and even those nice goofy Canadians have given Trudeau the boot.

This shuts them up Every Time. I usually don’t even make it to the Canada part before the person starts looking at the ceiling and talking about the weather.

Brits can be ignorant too. I volunteer at a Jimi Hendrix museum and these Boomers who love hod music and were alive then- will say, You’re American aren’t you? why are you volunteering here? I say well Jimi was American, and it’s like it dawns on them, oh yeah.

They all think Heinz is a British company because they all think Heinz beans on toast is the bomb comfort food, too.

We have lived in several countries and the Brits take the cake for Rudeness.

Luckily my husband has an Obama-like natural charm and studies political science so we can casually Out banter the best!

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Evening-Car9649@reddit

The United States has since Trump's first term been in a new era of political instability. All the signs show it getting worse.

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8Lynch47@reddit

In the US foreigners are treaty very much the same. Let it go and don’t talk about politics, keep all conversations simple unless you are with a close friend.

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teeno_grigio@reddit

If you have the means to move away, this is the tax you pay. I’m sure you’ll get used to it and learn how to quickly disengage with these kinds of people.

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Divertimentoast@reddit

This hits home very hard. I live in Denmark, you can imagine. I can't even say I'm american without politics! I have decided to follow up with "if I said I was Namibian, would you ask me about politics?"

I have also gotten the shooting question.....yeah. Word to any non-Americans, this is gross do not ask us this.

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SnooCats3468@reddit

I moved to Austria around the time Trump first publicly announced serious interest in running for President. I SEE you. For me, these kinds of conversations been happening regularly for over 10 years. I would have preferred to have more “normal”, apolitical social experiences during that time.

l like to positively frame my experience as very challenging, i.e., to be put in the position of “American ambassador” in the workplace and during my graduate program. Most of the people I’ve crossed paths with have never been there and are unfamiliar with actual American life and culture beyond what they consume in the news or as entertainment.

Other than tourists, citizens of countries with English as a native language only make up less than 0.1% of the population in Austria with less than 6K being American. So to most people here I’ve represented a legitimately rare opportunity to speak to someone that represents a culture that’s been rammed down their throat on a daily basis for possibly their entire life and now more than ever.

Many of the chats are harmless, but the emotionally charged or passive aggressive interactions most often come from a place of envy I think. People struggling with feelings of inadequacy likely envy the idea of being on what is heralded as the “best team” and I think this particular dynamic is way more of a problem for people under 40, who again, don’t have the means necessary to experience what’s “behind the curtain.”

I’m a loud, neurodivergent American man that chats up everyone but that has been mostly beaten out of me by the culture here. I’m not sure what it’s like in the UK, but some Viennese people are legit dementors—sucking the enthusiasm out of your jolly American body. On top of that the Trump variable certainly feels it has been an obstacle to a healthier identity and social development.

I have thought about these experiences a lot over the last year after finishing grad school and renewing my residency. I think it’s bullshit someone doesn’t recognize how much unique perspective you can really offer as a therapist.

Its just part of expat life and you need to understand that. I am Canadian and lived in the UK for 20 years. If i wrote an essay every time someone irked me about commenting on my Canadianisms (or Americanisms, I didnt bother to correct strangers) then I would be on reddit 24/7. You need to get over it, or find a coping mechanism as its never going to change.

I get it, its annoying AF, but letting it bother you is YOUR choice.

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shatterboy_@reddit

Wow. May be completely accurate, but very very aggressive…

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Babysfirstbazooka@reddit

Only because you read it that way, I was being HONEST, not aggressive. I have lived this experience and it used to bother me, wind me up, take up space in my brain. It’s annoying. But completely within your own control on how you react.

Sometimes honesty saves people years of angst. It’s called discomfort- the space where people grow and learn. For both the OP and the persons jibing her being American.

Maybe the OP could bite back and give honesty back to people when it bothers them? It’s not gonna work all the time but maybe it changes the perspective one person at a time. Just like my response.

Life. Isn’t. Supposed. To. Be. Comfortable. All. The. Time.

I’m not here to pander to everyone. I’m here to help people with lived experiences where if one person takes a snippet of something I have ever said or done and it improves their lives or makes things easier? Yes. Just like how others ideas and experiences have shaped mine. We are human.

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FrauAmarylis@reddit

That’s not our experience. We have lived in several countries- Korea, Japan, Israel, Germany, UK.

The Europeans are the only ones who bring up US politics every day and the Brits are by far the Worst.

Most humans know it’s insanely rude to ask WHO you voted for.

Conscious-Caramel-23@reddit

Well I'm sure immigrants in America have it worse. at least they aren't running around trying to to find you and deport you, after you live in a tent city for months or years.You're just experiencing the type of bullshit POC have to deal with on a constant basis, everywhere. Living in a country where the majority hates you isn't fun.

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ElBeeBJJ@reddit

I moved to the UK in 2008 when Obama got elected. People weren't high-fiving me, because they don't do that here, but pretty damned close. It was really nice. It's pretty different now of course. Though being older with an established friend group, and working from home, I don't have to do the small talk thing so often. My friends all know where I stand we just commiserate on the state of the world.

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ElDjee@reddit

"i won't rant about boris johnson and nigel farage if you don't bring up trump."

I also had lots of teachers who would talk shit about America and how stupid Americans are, but then turn to me and say “but don’t worry, you left so you’re one of the smart ones.”

I’m cisgender

I’m a bisexual

Also doesn't understand the importance of consistency when making shit up.

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canadianxt@reddit

Gender and sexual orientation are different things.

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AfterSevenYears@reddit

I don't know what you think those words mean, but there's no inconsistency there.

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yadius@reddit

Since one of the expressions is totally made up, I see your point.

We'll agree that OP lives in a fantasy created in her own head.

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AfterSevenYears@reddit

All expressions are totally made up. That has nothing to do with the validity of concepts.

The state of being cisgender factually exists. The state of being bisexual factually exists. There is no contradiction between being cisgender and bisexual.

You're mocking OP's factual statements based on a fictional fantasy that you're foolish enough to assume is reality.

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Alostcord@reddit

What’s that little saying when you know better you do better.. since personally I could care less about another person’s gender or sexuality, I haven’t delved into the nuances between them.

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FrauAmarylis@reddit

We do that in person. We tell them how cute it is that their little island votes in PMs for about a fortnight and how is Brexit going, and the US isn’t so crazy when literal wars are going on and Korea declared Martial Law, and even those goofy Canadians had their fill of Trudeau!

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Bizniz84@reddit

Are you lying? As a Brit, our nation represents idiots at the highest level.

bookionline@reddit

You need thicker skin and to not be so sensitive.

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Fun-Hall3213@reddit

We're the new Germans. Get used to it as it's going to get 100x worse.

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Oatmeal_Samurai@reddit

Part of this is just what comes with the territory. As an American, and then a Californian on top of that, you were born into incredible privilege, whether you like it or not. The US makes sure to command attention globally, through political, economic, and military means, so almost everyone around the world is affected by or at the very least interested in what America does. Plus, people worldwide are far more internationally aware than Americans, they see the headlines and they have opinions. I was abroad in NZ while W was President, and everyone wanted to talk about how we could vote for someone so seemingly unintelligent.

I would suggest that you do a couple things. First, let it ground you. Be humble, and use it as a reminder that you’re incredibly privileged in your situation. You’re born into the most wealthy and powerful country. You obviously have at least some benefit from that because you’re currently living abroad for school, which is an immense privilege most people don’t get to have. You also currently are not in the US and dealing with the current realities. And where you normally live, you don’t have to sea with these kinds of questions. All of these are things to be grateful for.

Second, try to just let it inform you and give you empathy and compassion. If you don’t like someone simply bringing up your country’s politics, imagine what immigrants in the US deal with. They experience severe judgement, discrimination, and hatred on a regular basis. Many of them were doctors or held respected positions in their native countries, but left that to start over in the US and are treated like (or called) vermin and told to “go back to where [they] came from.”

Third, once you’ve done those things, if you’re still getting crap from the same person, just bring up Brexit or any number of terrible and embarrassing pieces of history from the UK. It’s not like they also weren’t/aren’t an imperialistic and colonizing country. 😉 The US sucks, but it isn’t the only place with skeletons in the closet.

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wandering_engineer@reddit

Fellow American here who has lived overseas for a long time now. For better or worse, a lot of Europeans have a different view of nationality than you and I. People have a much stronger bond to their country, and there tends to be a much stronger sense of national identity. I dont think it's necessarily a bad thing - i honestly blame a lack of that and lack of communal nationwide spirit for a lot ot the issues in modern-day America - but what you are experiencing is the flip side of that, they don't see you as a person who happens to be from America, they see you as an American.

My friend is one. We lived in Israel so I immediately could tell she was likely Jewish when I met her at a meetup and so I felt comfortable saying we lived in Israel, and she felt more comfortable and told my husband she is from Russia and it all went well.

But she doesn’t go by her full first name here- but by a shortened version that sounds like a common Welsh name here.

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AlexMoby@reddit

She was extremely mean. I am sorry you had to endure this.

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odduckling@reddit

Post-9/11 Europe I kept getting asked “how do you feel about Bush?” … never ends.

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supersleepykitten@reddit

Omg this post and the comments are so validating 😭 I’ve met some lovely people here but I’ve also met so many insufferable people with no fucking social skills. They really do have you thinking you’re too sensitive but the moment you ‘banter’ back at them they have a meltdown. It’s nice to know it’s not just me having this experience

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Apprehensive_Lie357@reddit

Anything about elections can be responded with "it doesn't matter who gets elected".

And anything following that can be followed by "because it's a circus and a waste of time".

That gets that conversation over and done with. I believe those things anyway.

Most of the time they're just curious about what you think or want to be provocative and get into a debate.

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LouisePoet@reddit

Well. After 10 years in London and a further 5 years in a small village...I can only say: the majority of people treat you as you treat them

I don't know whether to laugh or care, the two most racist xenophobic and imperialist countries hating each other, and continue to be hated everywhere elsewhere.

I'm as American as a non American can get, having grown up there, and I get that same treatment because of my English accent. I'm not white and it's only my American English accent that hints at my upbringing, so in most cases it's a delayed reaction to realizing I'm not American and I haven't been there in decades.

I don't know how bad OP is getting it, being on the most racist xenophobic continent doesn't help, as a general rule don't expect anyone to roll out the red carpet for an AMERICAN or ENGLISH anywhere, both countries have done enough damage around the world to warrant an inevitable third World War.

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Prestigious_Plenty_8@reddit (OP)

To be honest it’s not that often. It’s just every once in a while.

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Alostcord@reddit

Someone asked you about being in a school shooting … and you laughed it off?

BetterNova@reddit

I was studying abroad in London and traveling around Europe when George W. Bush was in office, and I got a lot of the same stuff. A lot of people accusing me of voting for him (which I didn’t) and demanding an explanation for why so many Americans did (which I could not explain).

I think there’s a certain really innocent amount of stereotyping (e.g., all Brits drink tea) which many people do to just try to make conversation. There’s also plenty of hostile idiots out there.

What I find is people stereotype those they don’t know. Once people get to know each other, they come to see them (rightly) as individuals.

Anyways, when I was in London, my group of American friends befriended a group of British friends, and then life became great. We all just hung out and treated each other (relatively) well, and then I was better able to let it roll of my back when random people jumped to conclusions about me or tried to get antagonistic just cause I was American

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Prestigious_Plenty_8@reddit (OP)

No yeah I definitely have friends and I don’t encounter it that often, but yeah very similar experience.

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daurgo2001@reddit

Sadly, the UK’s got its own parallel crisis with Brexit that very much parallels trump’s rhetoric… so you’re bound to find lots of wannabe MAGAts, u/prestigious_Plenty_8 =(

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Prestigious_Plenty_8@reddit (OP)

Yeah my friends kinda hate the UK too and some people are confused why I moved here and then I’m like would you wanna move twice in a row

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friedmaple_leaves@reddit

It's not just in the UK, I think that behaviour is common, just manifests differently in different places. My African friends always have something to say about Europeans and their microaggressions, but it doesn't stop them from doing business, and going to school in European countries. When I lived in Norway, I had a British psychologist, of course you would be welcome as an American therapist-- there is a group and a niche for you. It sounded like that guy needed a therapist LOL

Welcome to Europe. They tried me too back in 2018 when I first moved to the UK. I simply ignore it or just reply back in a sassy tone if they try me. You're young, it'll get a lot easier. I've made some great friends in the UK who really don't care that I'm American.

Temperature_Flashy@reddit

Im from Spain living in USA and always American ask me what’s my favorite Mexican food, which part of Mexico my family comes from, why Latinoamerica is in bad shape or questions about third world countries, so get used to where you are or go back where you comes from if those situations annoy you so much..

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Tabitheriel@reddit

I live in Germany, and I often get people asking me about American politics. Unlike the US, political discussions are not considered “rude” in Europe and some people genuinely take an interest. On the other hand, once or twice I’ve met rude people who wouldn’t stop ranting about their opinions. These people are in EVERY COUNTRY. Just ignore them.

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HyenaThat7547@reddit

Every euro thinks they know America better than Americans. It sucks.

Just know they have no idea what they are saying.

alkaidkoolaid@reddit

They really aren't and the BBC, most television shows, the newspapers are all very subtle with their xenophobia towards Americans. Brits don't even realize it is through osmosis that they are manipulated and influenced to think a certain way towards Americans with all the negativity.

I am the first to call out my country on shit. I am the first to get embarrassed about things people do from my country. But as I used to say to them back when I lived there, “Are you just like Tony Blair?” They would scoff and me, act appalled that I would ask such a thing and then loudly say, “No!”

I would reply, “Then please don't assume I am like the American you currently have in your head.”

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tattoogrl11@reddit

You're offered a solution and you're rejecting it. Seems like you just want to complain.

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Prestigious_Plenty_8@reddit (OP)

I’m saying I don’t think it’s gonna work.

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DatingYella@reddit

I'm a minority American studying in Europe. And this post is spot on. I am a lot like you in terms of identity and beliefs.

I get frustrated about the exact same thing as you. And unfortunately, this is a HUGELY overlooked part whenever Americans want to go overseas. Not only will you have to start again socially, but a lot of people will not engage with you the way you want.

I think the thing that gets me is the frequency with which this happens and the certainty with people seem to hold their opinions. Like, half of my English speaking classmates who I barely know will predictably start the conversation with something like "I would never want to go to the US" or "Have you been through a school shooting?" "what do you think about the election?"

People in the US do not start a conversation that way. We don't assume the worst about others or their nations, we are generally pretty curious.

And when I speak ONE THING that's somewhat good about the US, when it comes to career development and salary for example, all the Europeans just get very defensive.

Everyone knows about the US' problems. If you asked the locals of most countries in the world, they would probably tell you about their many problems. But nobody really goes up to them and starts a conversation with them about all of their problems. Because American media is very very influential in Europe.

It just strikes me as presumptive, arrogant, and frankly makes me feel very lame and judged. My smart friends get this when I frame it like "does anyone go up to you and tell you how they hate Italian food?"

I've learned that a lot of Europeans just listen to propaganda, and they are a bit insecure about the US because of how influential it is in their politics in culture, politics, military, and technology. So I've learned to shut up a bit about America's upsides because I don't want them to feel bad or inferior about their countries. But sometimes, they make it impossible for me to not defend myself a bit.

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Original-Opportunity@reddit

I’m an American who lived in Europe for nearly a decade, on and off- the UK was particularly friendly AND unfriendly during to a common language and similar social norms… except the banter.

I have English friends who I’ll still go toe to toe with in petty little political arguments. We still love each other, but I’m kind of a slightly antagonistic person anyway.

You’ve got to pick your fights.

“Well look what y’all voted for” - I didn’t for him. Bummer he won! Anyway.

“Yanks” - I don’t care. Often a neutral term or occasionally a term of endearment.

“McDonald’s!!” It’s all I eat aye

“Did you survive a school shooting?” - No. Are dead kids funny? I don’t laugh this off. If I hear that, i generally make an “ew” face.

Reverend0352@reddit

Just get a voice coach to work on your accident

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HVP2019@reddit

Yes living as an immigrant can potentially be tiresome.

Many immigrants will have their own list of things that are annoying, upsetting, depressing about their lives in foreign country.

I am trying to explain this, but unfortunately many people who contemplate migration believe that those issues will not affect them.

English isn’t my native language so maybe I am using wrong words.

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BurstHearts@reddit

Probably part of the issue is caused by tourists. Also immigrants. Not sure if Americans do it too much. But there's the also kind of immigrant that goes "Because in my country" and proceeds to either praise or beat up the country with what they have to say, many times even unpromted to do so.
American tourists are a very annoying kind from what i hear.

Also propaganda. The same way America was once painted as the best country to ever exist. Propaganda been shifting to a more political and depending on where you are in the world even make it look like fascism.

So there comes a not very epic mix on that. People that think you are a "special" tourist or influenced by either good or bad propaganda.

You're tired of how British people are but as a self-depricating American, you're looking inward.

British flags all over stuff at the grocery store. American flags all over America. Shoeing minority Americans into racial stereotypes. Shoeing Americans into American stereotypes. Arguing over who is drunker per capita like it is a competition worth winning. Or is it bettter to have smoking hot tens and whales for a population, or just everybody is kind of a mildly potato looking kind of being.

You're in Anglo culture in both cases. If you do uni in spanish you'll experience a different flavor of this in Latin America or Spain, but the world is largely how you are experiencing it here. I speak with people from all over the world daily in conversational lessons. Trump is what they want to talk about. We have an iconic culture broadcast around the world whether they asked for it or not. There's no end to it. Figure out how to lean into it.

Want to argue? There's always a parallel to what's wrong with america. Tariffs are like our brexit. American gulf, English Channel. Musk vs actual monarch. Evangelists, Anglicans.

England vs america is like simpsons vs South Park. They already did it.

Don't want to argue? Don't take it personally. It's just narrow little observations from a quaint ole isle that's the size of Montana. It's cute. It doesn't have to cut you.

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josephrey@reddit

I’m from New Jersey and constantly hear all the dumb NJ jokes. “Oh you’re from NJ? What exit?”

Probably 80% of the people making the jokes have never even been there, but it has a stigma just the same.

If someone’s making those jokes just know they aren’t as clever as they think they are, and then tell them to sod off to their cunt of a mom’s teat.

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lumenforever1000@reddit

Ummmmmm.... I lived in the UK for years and never had an issue as an American. My friends and colleagues were fabulous and never made horrible comments. The customers in the pubs I worked in were the same, in fact some farmers at the country pub I started in helped me to write a scholarship letter. Sounds like you need a new circle of friends.

Also, have you picked up on the vernacular there? Or are you stubbornly still using US vernacular?
Have you picked up UK traditions, or do you shun them?
Are you integrating into society?

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bigredsweatpants@reddit

I’ve been here like 7-8 years and about 20 out of States and also living just fine in the West Midlands. Honestly, I think no one gives a shit I’m American. It’s a bit of a novelty at first maybe when I meet people but generally they really don’t care. I think Americans tend to hold onto that exceptionalism at all costs.

Brits are a funny bunch (I do not pretend to understand them) but not hostile and not judgemental either. They are used to foreigners, it’s been multi culti forever really.

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lumenforever1000@reddit

Exactly. By the time I returned to the states, I had a mild accent and had to change my vernacular all over again. Folks in the UK thought I was from Australia by the way I spoke, but were never rude when I said I was American. I was up in the north in York and Huddersfield.

Not gonna lie, I’m an Australian and when I lived in America it was so much easier to pretend that I was also in American so I could feel of stupid questions like are you from Austria? Is that in Europe? Etc

I think, if you’re planning on living there for a long time just fake it, learn an English accent, say you’re from Canada just do literally anything to avoid letting people know you’re American because unfortunately the Commonwealth countries bias towards America is almost overwhelming for us. We just cannot fathom the entire American thing.

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mandance17@reddit

Maybe it’s not the place for you? I have British friends and they like to joke and tease, I don’t feel bothered by it but maybe it’s too much for you?

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SpeedySparkRuby@reddit

I think the problem is some people just take the teasing too far into actually being hurtful. And when getting called out it on fall back on the "I'm just being honest or direct" when they were just really being rude in reality.

There's a difference between playful ribbing and being just straight up mean.

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No_Passage6082@reddit

It's not joking and teasing though because when you do the same back at them they get offended. It's hilarious how childish it is.

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Prestigious_Plenty_8@reddit (OP)

Well I don’t wanna move twice in a row.

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InformationHead3797@reddit

British people like bantering and can be obnoxious, especially when drunk.

I am Italian and it’s a similar experience, but I don’t take it personally.

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Prestigious_Plenty_8@reddit (OP)

I like joking around and teasing about most things, and I used to really not mind it. But now it’s starting to get really old. It’s rlly the only thing right now.

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ownhigh@reddit

I’d work on your British accent or say you’re Canadian ;)

It also takes some practice but I think it’s good to avoid conversations about where you’re from with acquaintances. It’s going to be a long 4 years.

In terms of being a psychologist, I’d aim for working in a more international city. You could also look into working remote and obtain licenses in different regions / countries.

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Bokbreath@reddit

One time I was out and about and this totally drunk guy, this total stranger, heard me talk and he was like oh are you an American,

Even last year in Wales, the moment people knew I lived in the USA, I got the same questions. And my accent is still pure 100% posh Warwickshire.

It’s curiosity and seeking a new opinion more than owt else I feel.

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Prestigious_Plenty_8@reddit (OP)

I don’t mind when people are genuinely curious, I’ve been able to tell the difference.

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NotMyUsualLogin@reddit

My wife’s American and she was treated much the same way as I was.