I'm staying. I'm finishing my coffee.

A young trophy wife, in the parlance of our times, ya know. She uh, uh, gets foot massages all over town, including from Tony Rocky Horror-- ha, and that's cool, that's that's cool

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artgriego@reddit

She's gotta feed the monkey, man!!

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jessewoolmer@reddit

Do you know what they call a "Double Double" in Paris?

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artgriego@reddit

A double dare muthafucka?

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Key-Contest-2879@reddit

Donny, please.

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dwors025@reddit

Do mind if I have a sip of that? I gotta find out what a five-dollar White Russian tastes like.

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artgriego@reddit

That poor woman - that poor *junkie -* OD'd herself.

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_ferrofluid_@reddit

Far out man, far fucking out.

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uttyrc@reddit

There's a beverage here!

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artgriego@reddit

A $5 fucking milkshake...they don't put bourbon in it or nothin?

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iTalk2Pineapples@reddit

We gonna be like 3 little dudes...and what's the dude like?

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artgriego@reddit

Cool?

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SylvanDragoon@reddit

Reading this thread all I can think is.... "That's when you know you've found somebody really special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably share silence."

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an7onchigurh@reddit (OP)

She's not my special lady. She's my lady friend.

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artgriego@reddit

I'll be forced to tell Mr. Wallace that her life was in your hands, Lance...

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girlabides@reddit

The one with all the shit in her face?

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Impossible_Bell_7917@reddit

You brought a fucking Gump bowling?

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AxelFauley@reddit

Crying

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OkieDragonSlayer@reddit

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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grim_f@reddit

Has the whole muthahfuckin world gone CRAZY?!

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EatingAcidIsFun@reddit

Phones ringing Lance

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Shut_It_Donny@reddit

THANK YOU, JODY!!!

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Grip-my-juiceky@reddit

He’d be damned if any chinaman was gonna out his greasy yellow hands on his boy’s birthright. So, He hid this toe the only place he could. His Ass.

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Catalina_Eddie@reddit

The Supreme Court has soundly rejected prior retraint motherfucker!

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artsatisfied229@reddit

Fucking A.

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DaWisZoot@reddit

BMF

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Ok_Refrigerator7679@reddit

I was sitting here drinking my coffee eating my muffin and had what alcoholics refer to as a "moment of clarity" where I realized that the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint.

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PickleLips64151@reddit

Calmer than you are, motherfucker.

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NoLightweight@reddit

Say "coitus" again. I motherfuckin' double dare you.

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NoLightweight@reddit

I see a taxi playing the Eagles in your future.

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myCreedencetapes@reddit

It's the little differences...example?

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Goooongas@reddit

Did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead Nihilist Storage"?

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Bontkers@reddit

NO!! Because storing dead nihilists ain’t my fuckin’ business!!!

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Vladd_the_Retailer@reddit

The shepherd is not the issue here..

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OkieDragonSlayer@reddit

That briefcase really brought the room together....did it not?

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HoverboardRampage@reddit

Me and Vincent would've been happy with some freeze dried Tasters Choice. . .

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OkieDragonSlayer@reddit

This is our concern Dude

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SomeDudeNamedRik@reddit

Do you know what they call a Carls Jr in Alabama? A Hardee’s.

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OkieDragonSlayer@reddit

I miss Hardee's, Carl's Jr sucks

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almostmachines@reddit

I can get you a motherfucking toe by 3 o clock mother fucker. With mother fucking nail polish

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Missy_Agg-a-ravation@reddit

Is this your briefcase, Larry?

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abbeymad@reddit

You don’t go walking the earth dressed like that do you? On a weekday. The bums lost!

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smkestcklghtn@reddit

Normally you two would be dead as fried chicken right now, but I don't commit murder on the Shabbos

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coldinvt@reddit

It’s the one that says “DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS” on it.

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GrimeyJosh@reddit

# DIOS MUTHAFUCKIN MIO, MAN

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BlueCollarCriminal@reddit

Oh please, *dear*? For your motherfucking information, the motherfucking Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint.

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WhatIsTheAmplitude@reddit

Motherfucking prior restraint

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FreePhilosopher256@reddit

Zed uses objects like men, man.

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vinaysays@reddit

Who's Zed, baby?

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mysterious_whisperer@reddit

Zed’s the walrus

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FreePhilosopher256@reddit

You're out of your element! Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.

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4th-Estate@reddit

- I want you to go in that bag and find my rug - Which one is it? - It's the one that says bad mother fucker on it.

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michaltee@reddit

Parlez usted ENGLISH MUTHAFUCKA, DO YOU SPEAK IT?

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mysterious_whisperer@reddit

https://i.imgur.com/ADcGnqk.jpeg

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motorcycleboy9000@reddit

Aw, man, what's that smell? Likely a homeless person shot Marvin in the face.

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Swinging-Gate@reddit

That IS a tasty coffee Walter.

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motorcycleboy9000@reddit

I said it's BY the Big Kahuna Burger, motherfucka

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michaltee@reddit

When Cynthia buys coffee, she’s buys SHIT.

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jessewoolmer@reddit

Calmer than you are

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El_Cactus_Loco@reddit

… motherfucka

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MonkMajor5224@reddit

![gif](giphy|o2UO8B52RcjCg|downsized)

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Some-Exchange-4711@reddit

Enjoying my motherfucking coffee…

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Redkellum@reddit

Is there a Ralph's around here?

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Icy-Priority1297@reddit

What we have here is a couple of tea drinkers, trying to find reverse on the Tube.

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DudelyMcDuderson@reddit

# MARK IT ZERO MOTHERFUCKA

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JavaJukebox@reddit

*ANY OF YOU F*****G DUDES MOVE! AND ILL EXECUTE EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!* 🎶Dick Dale and The Del-Tones Misirlou🎶

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Zer0daveexpl0it@reddit

Oh please, *motherfucker*?

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MrPeepers1986@reddit

Will you come off it, Jules? You're not even fucking Jewish, man.

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Amity_Swim_School@reddit

Do you know what they call an In & Out Burger in Paris?

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vinaysays@reddit

My two favourite movies of all time

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RunningPirate@reddit

THE SUPREME COURT HAD ROUNDLY REJECTED PRIOR MOTHERFUCKING RESTRAINT!

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pdmalo@reddit

Do they parle ingles in what?!

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kinvore@reddit

Is this your briefcase, Larry?

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High_Af_Osrs@reddit

Oh man, I shot Smokey in the face.

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Least-Back-2666@reddit

It's just a league game, Vincent!

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_Bon_Vivant_@reddit

![gif](giphy|10JhviFuU2gWD6)

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Cabton@reddit

Tell Honey Bunny Lebowski to chill out.

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geologyrocks98@reddit

Check out the big brain on Cabton!

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girlabides@reddit

![gif](giphy|3o7aTnDahnlj2lqGfS)

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geologyrocks98@reddit

Just take the $4 man!

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CommonSensei-_@reddit

Calmer than you are , mother fuk er

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JackStrawSTL@reddit

Mr. Wallis draws a lot water.

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Pretty-Sport-2691@reddit

Your name's Lebowski, Lebowski. Your wife is Hunny Bunny.

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nysom1227@reddit

You want a toe? Jules could probably get you a toe.

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_Bon_Vivant_@reddit

You want a thing that glows in a brief case? I can get you a thing that glows in a brief case. Believe me. There are ways. You don't wanna know about it.

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Muhfuggajones@reddit

Nobody fucks with the Jules...

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Poker-Junk@reddit

This aggression will not stand, motherfucker!

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SmoovyJ@reddit

FORGET ABOUT THE FUCKING GIMP!

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CaptianBrasiliano@reddit

Excuse me... Dear... for your information, the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men have been roundly rejected by the righteous man!

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Eric848448@reddit

Enjooooyin my coffee..

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carl_showalter96@reddit

Goddamn, Walter. **This is some serious gourmet shit!**

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nadamean420@reddit

“He lives in North Hollywood near the Big Kahuna Burger.” “The Big Kahuna Burger is on Camrose!” “I said *near* The Big Kahuna Burger.” “Those are some tasty burgers…”. “Shut the fuck up, Donny!”

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