ULPT Request: wife and affair partner

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Ivabighairy1@reddit

I know it hurts, but trust us who have been before you, they will destroy each other, you won’t have to do anything.

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1000MREM@reddit

No this is not true, the best enemy is one who used to be a friend or lover.

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delerium-fun@reddit

Sure this bridge is burning itself down, but I would be fun to pour kerosene on it

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musicandsex@reddit

Honestly dude the best revenge is just never talking to her again and go live your life.

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Intelligent_Durian_5@reddit

Agreed, besides she cheated on you, she will do it to him at which point he will maybe reach out to you and you’ll get the pleasure of telling him to suck a bag of his own dick

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HiramNinja@reddit

...the best revenge is living far better without them than you ever did with them.

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No-Song-6907@reddit

Good advice not not unethical.

Ill second it. Be the better man and move on. Slang that D!

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D_Doggy_Dog@reddit

Why is it always good friend/brother that cannot keep their weiner in the pants... Gosh..

Yeah, so here is my advice, just give her the whole house (not sell it/split it/etc.) except you get some shrimp salad and take out the ships from it, and... this stuff is important, you (while she doesn't see it) stick those into your curtain rods everywhere in the house, and leave.

Pretty sure it won't deem possible to find the source of that smell in a good week or two... plus, she will understand how stinko she is. As a bonus, you might want to offer to buy a house with a significant discount afterwards that she won't be willing to live there.

Just kidding here... don't worry, there is always a way to get her phone number posted on those OF websites or gas station walls and stuff. There is a plenty of options bro!

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HerpesIsItchy@reddit

Wait a couple of months and then get someone to call saying they're from the state health board. Advise either one of them (whichever one is more gullible) that one of their recent partners have tested positive for a sexually transmitted disease.

Make sure that whoever calls them states that because of patient confidentiality, they cannot share the name of the person. However, it is one of their more recent partners.

Pretty sure that 'll put the seed of distrust in both of them. If you can partner to this with the earlier response to set up a dating profile for the guy, that will definitely be a home run

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yoloswagmaster69420@reddit

There is a website out there that allows you to anonymously send out a health screen notification saying you may have been exposed to an STD and you can select which ones to report.

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givemeyourstuff@reddit

https://tellyourpartner.com/notify/

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silent__disco@reddit

username checks out

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TattlingTommy@reddit

Wait it out for a while, and then catfish the guy in around 6 months. If you want it to be believable, start building the profile now that'll you're going to use.

Also sign up to Tinder etc. with his photo and do it now so it shows later on that it's not just a new account.

Wait around a year and then anonymously message your ex-wife from the catfish account saying "OMG I'm so sorry, he never told me he was in a relationship"

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BamBam-BamBam@reddit

This is masterful.

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DingleBerrieIcecream@reddit

It’s also masterful because while OP is mad now, in 6 months he’s liable to have met a new, better woman and won’t care about his ex anymore.

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Noah254@reddit

As someone whose marriage blew up due to infidelity, it’s been a year and I definitely still care. Not about her as in wanting her back, I’ve moved on and casually dated, but that anger is still there in the back of my mind. But we also have a kid so I have to see her every couple weeks, which probably helps keep it fresh

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LoudTill7324@reddit

Something about half the house money makes me think he won’t be as ambivalent as your suggesting

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bomboid@reddit

Also the fact that this was his spouse and not some random fling lol

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New-IncognitoWindow@reddit

I would pay someone for this service.

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SugarInvestigator@reddit

Evil genius level shit

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ragingmoderate1776@reddit

You gotta start the message like “hey girllll”

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dadjokenumber11@reddit

This guy cooks up vengeance ice cold.

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Both_Boysenberry8405@reddit

I have to agree with the other comments, you are a master and I bow down to you! Well done Tommy, well done!

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l94xxx@reddit

Count of Monte Cristo here

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LeftyLibra_10@reddit

Dayummm, that’s diabolical! Well done! Lol

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Anita_break_RN_FR@reddit

This is a really good idea but who expects their relationship to last that long?
It usually never does

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ThunderCorg@reddit

My rebound lasted almost 2 years, which is surprising since we never ended the prior marriages.

I do not recommend this. We, collectively, have put some psychiatrist’s and therapist’s kids through uni.

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Fit_Tale_4962@reddit

Great plan

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idk-somethings@reddit

Well done.

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Brilliant-Dinner4024@reddit

Boof creatine. Oh wrong sub..

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bigswinger103@reddit

Piss discs

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JTEL918@reddit

If you really want her to lose it, don’t bang her mom or sister, bang her friend that she’s the most jealous of/ drives her crazy. If she sees you both together laughing and having a good time, you just moved into her head rent free. She’s going to be thinking about you two 24/7.

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chemical09@reddit

They both showed you who they really are... and relatively early in the game. You cut dead weight from your life. You won. They are stuck with each other

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january1977@reddit

I recently asked a similar question on here and got a lot of, “Just let it go,” comments. No. I will not let it go. Not yet. So here’s my list of things to do:

Send a glitter bomb

Send a package that has something embarrassing printed really big on the outside

Start a personalized book club just for them. My titles include, Men Don’t Love Women Like You and Homewrecker. Send them a book periodically in the mail

Have flyers printed with their photos and what they did. Post them around the neighborhood

Most of these things are just annoying, and that’s the point, right?

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gte133t@reddit

Start a book club? Wtf

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VetusLatina@reddit

Childish

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FireFunkStank@reddit

Sound like a hoe

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Blahblah9845@reddit

They're not worth it dude. They will get what they deserve in time.

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Beautiful_Mode8862@reddit

True. Best revenge (while not unethical) is getting on with your life to the point you don't care any longer. If you still want to be petty 6mo from now that's sad.

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Madam_Robot@reddit

Seed bomb the lawn with weeds. I know a girl that wrote on his lawn in bleach

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Few-Noise-8357@reddit

Also if it’s going to rain the next day, sprinkle instantly mashed potatoes on the lawn

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Unlucky-Listen1068@reddit

Do you know either or both of their birthdays? It’s very simple. Leave a gift on the doorstep. If you know her, then you’d know what she likes. As for him, pick a box that most men get excited about. Get a bunch of condoms and fill them with whipped cream and then distribute them evenly into both boxes… be sure to poke some holes in those condoms so that we get the full scent 👀

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keyboardbill@reddit

Is she with him now? If yes, then wait a little while and sleep with her. Then send him the evidence.

If no, then sell her your half of the property and sabotage the water pipes on the way out.

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bjorn-the-fellhanded@reddit

But leave the curtain rods and put crab meat in them

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LilRedditer650@reddit

don’t forget a few piss discs in the vents

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s19125@reddit

1) Make sure everyone knows what they did but in a way that the people you had in common in your lifes will take your side and cut ties with them.

2) Buy a new phone number and make your WhatsApp (or any app) profile attractive enough to not ignore. Send 1 message per week until bait (messages like "hey I saw you at that store" etc). If it works send messages only in times that is most possible they are together with no company. This way you will plant a seed of doubt.

3) Post their phone numbers on craigslist-like sites for pranks. Share a couple of their secrets (or bad habits or something each of them is embarrassed) on those posts just to give the pranksters something to make fun of and fuck them emotionally.

4) Fuck the closest possible relative.

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BOPLU@reddit

I kinda like your mindset, but still consider you a sick mfckr...🐣

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Brilliant-Hand9773@reddit

Fuck his mom

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BOPLU@reddit

Bro 😂😂😂

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BOPLU@reddit

What took her so long?

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Tronracer@reddit

Bang her mom.

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Ivabighairy1@reddit

3some with both moms, WINNING!

Sex tape of 3some, profit!

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atelierjoh@reddit

OP can be a mother lover.

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DodoGizmo@reddit

And show them the dick in the box.

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TheMarko9@reddit

Piss disc under the door via quantum entanglement. Snipe that “mfer” across the fabric of the space and time.

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FelineThrowaway35@reddit

You could start an LLC or two and consistently find agents on zillow to help you write offers and then back out

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FelineThrowaway35@reddit

Wipe with baby wiped and flush em down the toilet til you leave

Fat & grease down the sink

Bed bugs, mice, clothes moths, rats, will drive people nuts

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ChickPeaEnthusiast@reddit

What does "she is getting half the house money" mean. Do you mean you are proceeding with a divorce, and the house is being sold, and she is getting half of that amount?

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YourFriendlyFarmasis@reddit (OP)

Yep divorce. Selling house, 60/40 split

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thewinterfan@reddit

Take some of your proceeds, hire a stripper/hooker, to steal him away, then out them. Everyone goes home alone, except for the stripper who probably has a couple of kids waiting.

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jjcn73@reddit

Sleep with soon to be exwifes sister or mother. Dudes sister or mother would work also

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wobblin_goblin@reddit

The answer is always liquid ass

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BustDown041@reddit

Have him pay you some of your money and bend him over. That usually does the trick

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sfthrowaway9929@reddit

Yeah agreed with the other guys, not worth a second thought. Not sure there’s anything you can do at this point that won’t screw yourself over. Best thing would be to find a good woman when you’re ready and continue to live a guilt free life. Never think about her again