I am confused..
Posted by Hour-Ad-2206@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 6 comments
Its probably quarter life crisis kicking in but still...
I am 29M currently living in germany and have a good job. I am working as a product manager in a software company for the past 3ish years after my masters. I am also in a relationship with a girl from Germany for the past 5-6 months. Financially I am quite happy and as well with my relationship.
However everytime I visit India, I am a bit confused. I come from Kerala where the standard of living is relatively better compared to most other place in India (in my observation atleast. I also come from a relatively well off financial backround). My parents are getting older (approaching 70s) and although they dont have any major health problems (apart from normal problems that people of the age face), I am concerned what the future holds. I get anxious thinking about what might be the case when any one of them is no more and how living alone would look like.
Further I see India growing rapidly everytime i visit whereas the germany economy is shrinking year after year (not to say the difficulty that every foreigner faces like language, social adaption and isolation problems etc).
I am in a confused state at the moment. I feel the decisions I make in the next 1-2 years would be crucial because once I decide to fully settle in Germany it would be incredible hard to come back. It also difficult to bring parents there long term
I know many expats face this..but how have you resolved this inner conflict?
SweetAlyssumm@reddit
OP is looking at the declining German economy as well as language, isolation, parents etc. It seems to me he wants to move back to India except for his partner.
That feels quite rational to me. OP, if you do it, do it soon so you can get settled, and so your partner (if she does not move to India, which seems unlikely) can find someone else. Don't be ashamed. You have good reasons for wanting to go to India. There are no children, both of you will find other partners.
SpaceBetweenNL@reddit
You have already stayed in Germany for a long time. You can regret moving back to India.
temp_gerc1@reddit
Why is it hard to move back later? I fully agree that Germany is on a downward path with the aging population and industry migrating away due to high prices and terrible bureaucracy. It is still ticking along for now with a good standard of living for skilled workers, but I foresee a gradual decline in all economic prospects, coupled with confiscatory levels of taxation to keep the bloated social state afloat. You should probably move out of Germany in a few years regardless of your parents' health.
Two things you didn't take into consideration in your post:
1) What about your relationship? I won't speak for your gf but many Germans I met, even the educated ones, are pretty "homebound", as in they are reluctant to move outside Germany beyond a period of a couple of years tops. They have a deep attachment to their country / roots, despite its growing warts and problems, that us foreigners will never attain. Moving to the UK or Switzerland is one thing, but moving to India as a foreigner is a whole different can of worms.
2) Whatever you do, make sure you get citizenship first. You won't be doing yourself any favors by leaving Germany, still holding onto an Indian passport. That shuts the door on you easily being able to move back, or travel, or do many other things.
Good luck!
Hour-Ad-2206@reddit (OP)
Moving back later could be hard because I may have made more commitments here by then (in short sunk cost effect would be really strong). Since I am now at age when such commitments are made, with relationship, career etc..
German citizenship I believe for me could still take upto 3 years, if not more.
temp_gerc1@reddit
You did your Masters in Germany? That time counts fully, and you've been here for 3 years since then, so you might be already approaching the 5 years required. Take a look, you might already be eligible for citizenship.
FrauAmarylis@reddit
Stay in Germany.
Your parents want you to have a better life, a good job,and a spouse to grow old with.
It sounds like your anxiety is trying to sabotage your future.