teardrop incident | TheaterFire

So many mixed reactions to this... Part of me wants to see it happen. Part of me would rather have Joe Rogan close me in a box full of spiders than lick someone's keyboard.

[-]

jmbpiano@reddit

I legitimately have arachnophobia, to a near debilitating degree. Just reading your comment is triggering an adrenaline rush as I type this.

Even for me, it would be a tough decision between those two choices.

[-]

BatemansChainsaw@reddit

"Jamie, pull that up. That's insane. Watch as he goes into a coffin filled with spiders. WOOOOW!"

[-]

Bubba_Phet@reddit

I think it really is going to take a teabagging to set things straight. Maybe the user, maybe the administrator, but pants are for SURE going to need to vacate.

[-]

Jclj2005@reddit

Don't forget to drag your ball sack across it as well to mark it as your property now 😀

[-]

zyeborm@reddit

Suggest you take a look at "lonely island : like a boss" for what to do to Deborah's desk.

[-]

sgt_Berbatov@reddit

That is such an irresponsible thing to say. That's how COVID started!!!

Oh no, wait. Sorry, that was licking door handles. My mistake.

[-]

IdiosyncraticBond@reddit

Better take a hazmat suit and dissove the keyboard in an acid bath. Problem solved

[-]

new_nimmerzz@reddit

Type with your bare feet and say you’re working on accessibility options

[-]

anonymousITCoward@reddit

no don't do that... just don't do anything and leave an anonymous postit note saying you sneezed on their desk

[-]

RevnantRepeat666@reddit

Or maybe drool on it, don't know what germs you'd catch that way 😂

[-]

NoReallyLetsBeFriend@reddit

I'd farmer's blow on that fucker instead.

[-]

sync-centre@reddit

I thought this was a new zero day in the wild....

[-]

agarr1@reddit

I worked with someone who got fired for releasing bodily fluids on a server, but they were very different fluids.

[-]

port25@reddit

I cut my hand while racking a server and didn't notice at all. I was bleeding all over the rack until my boss ran over freaking out.

[-]

reaver102@reddit

Same, I didn't feel a thing until the person across who was assisting me told me. It went deep, too.

[-]

toeonly@reddit

I don't think blood is the bodily fluid in that story.

[-]

port25@reddit

That's the only one we should be leaving on servers though. 😎

Why couldn't the guy just be normal and have a box like the rest of us?

[-]

toeonly@reddit

I thought that reddit had moved from a box to a coconut.

[-]

port25@reddit

Dang youngins forgetting their roots...

[-]

agarr1@reddit

Thats so easily done. Some of the rack kits are like razors.

If our guy had just bled on it, he wouldn't have been sacked.

[-]

port25@reddit

Haha that is some strange shit. I mean we had a guy who said he was a vampire wizard and wore a cape to work, but no Sir Cumsalot.

That vampire dude... IT was so fucking weird in the 90s.

[-]

agarr1@reddit

Haha, as strange as some of them are, I do love the oddball characters IT attracts

The best bit is that the network team had found dry stains and thought we had a rat or something and setup a camera. The Monday after this guy worked his Saturday cover, we just heard our manager yell in his office then run out to HR.

Within a half an hour, he was in a disaplinary, he actually had the nerve to take one of the team in with him as a witness to hear the entire story and then tried to deny it was him, made out he had got his twin (who didn't exist) to cover his shift.

That's the only time I've had to clean a server with bleach!

[-]

port25@reddit

I have so many questions for him.

[-]

agarr1@reddit

So did our HR manager. She just couldn't stop laughing long enough to get them out!

[-]

Bendo410@reddit

It’s funny that they are chewing you out for that when I’ve received equipment back that looks like a group of clowns had a bukakkake (I can’t search how to spell this at work) party on it before they gave it back.

[-]

mikeyflyguy@reddit

Bukkake. I had to look it up. I didn’t know that actually had a name for it besides orgy or gangbang

[-]

reaver102@reddit

Just means to cover or splash something, if you ever take a trip to Japan you'll see it used more for food and such.

[-]

mikeyflyguy@reddit

We have a local sushi place called Fuku. I laughed the first time i saw it.

[-]

AJourneyer@reddit

Had a tower come back from someone who did remote for SIX MONTHS and it was filled with dead bugs, a few live ones, food bits, dust bunnies that were nearly sentient, and who knows what else. How all of that ended up inside a tower in such a short time befuddles my brain. Had to take it outside to try and clean it out. I shudder to think of what their home looked like.

[-]

J-Dawgzz@reddit

I would wipe my arse with her mouse for that. Petty bitch.

[-]

UsedTableSalt@reddit

Hey maybe it’s not watery eyes and your CTO did not have the heart to tell you.

Honestly it sounds ridiculous.

[-]

Creative_Onion_1440@reddit

Buy a full hazmat suit
Put it on for all requests related to this user
Be sure everyone knows you're wearing this getup because you're heading to the user's location
Entire office wonders what's wrong with the user that makes I.T. need a hazmat suit around them.
User no longer has friends at work as everyone avoids them.

[-]

deyemeracing@reddit

I feel like a nice COVID mask and face shield would do the trick. I'd still wanna be able to do my job.

[-]

dj_bpayne@reddit

Rubber gloves, face shield, and a chopstick to type / click the mouse. Then when you’re done completely obliterate everything with disinfectant spray

[-]

BrainWav@reddit

Gloves and maybe a hairnet too. And put it all on right next to their desk

[-]

deyemeracing@reddit

Sounds like how I had to dress out when my job was acid etching silicon wafers for microchips back in the 1990s. I think I had at least 3 pair of gloves on. Safety first!

[-]

montvious@reddit

Yeah, but then people just think you’re sick. If you do a Hazmat suit, it makes it clear they’re sick.

[-]

deyemeracing@reddit

lol well, you're not wrong... ;-)

[-]

sneakattaxk@reddit

There are reasons before COVID as to why I didn’t like going desk side, much prefer remote access tools as I’m more efficient that way

[-]

Ok-Double-7982@reddit

Users are gross with their own personal keyboards and mice. I hate typing on them and agree 100% about remote access tools.

[-]

cavernofcards@reddit

This is the way

[-]

Gatorcat@reddit

I like this answer / solution

[-]

ChildrenotheWatchers@reddit

A tear drop? I used to wipe my whole keyboard down daily with Lysol wipes, and it never stopped working. The user is probably lying about the issue. They probably spilled cola on it!

[-]

Bad_Idea_Hat@reddit

This user might be a candidate for the "two-person rule".

Wherein two people is the minimum number of people who can visit a user, as a personal protection against a number of things.

[-]

123ihavetogoweeeeee@reddit

One person fixed the problem, one person schmoozes them, one person document the interactions in the email to the supervisor and the other person confirms this.

[-]

pdp10@reddit

How many techs does it take to screw in a 26mm Edison-base lightbulb?

[-]

Darkhigh@reddit

Less than the 26-meter version I assume

[-]

123ihavetogoweeeeee@reddit

No one cares as long as it got done.

[-]

Bad_Idea_Hat@reddit

If that number goes above 2, the company has a massive culture issue, and I'm looking for a new job.

[-]

HappierShibe@reddit

You can also just say "Because crosstraining" no one ever questions it.

[-]

123ihavetogoweeeeee@reddit

I should have been clearer that it’s two people only and then they document the interaction for their supervisor.

[-]

123ihavetogoweeeeee@reddit

Agreed.

[-]

sryan2k1@reddit

You find a new job. Your CTO doesn't have your back.

[-]

SeriekDarathus@reddit

I would like to amend your statement:
You find a real job, because you work in a daycare.

[-]

deyemeracing@reddit

At least at the daycare, the grownups and toddlers are easy to tell apart ;-)

[-]

LiveCourage334@reddit

That's debatable.

[-]

sryan2k1@reddit

A single bad apple doesn't make a bad company, unfortunately if it's at the top of your management chain there isnt much you can do but leave and tell HR why.

[-]

Candy_Badger@reddit

This! CTO should always have your back. That's what happen at normal jobs.

[-]

Stonewalled9999@reddit

CTO sounds like a simp for not standing up for you

[-]

thatdogJuni@reddit

“Sorry CTO, that was a snot drip” 🤧 honks into issue as demonstration

[-]

caa_admin@reddit

This, or OP is BSing us.

[-]

HistoricalSession947@reddit

Agreed. My first thought was, what a wet lettuce for a senior person

[-]

apandaze@reddit

they dont cry thats for sure, probably throw things

[-]

Stonewalled9999@reddit

Obligatory stamping of feet

[-]

Unable-Entrance3110@reddit

Obviously, OP should complain to the CTO about gross keyboards and dirty grease sludge on mouse buttons....

[-]

INSPECTOR99@reddit

What is the scenario in a HOT (Sweatshop) commercial/Industrial environment? :-(...........

[-]

HummingBridges@reddit

Be a Brit called Andrew?

[-]

flabbobox@reddit

A fucking teardrop?
One fucking teardrop?
I mean like really ONE fucking teardrop?

Did you also mention that you farted in their chair, just came from a walk, stepped in dogshit and wiped it off with a stick but didn't warsh your hands yet because you were in too much of a hurry to solve the issue.

You sure it wasn't like TWO teardrops? Because like two I can understand being taken to task on (sarcasm), but one? Someone(s) really need to get a life.

[-]

wrt-wtf-@reddit

Jesus… when you see the shit (literally) that people leave all over their desk, keyboards and mice a tear drop would possibly be the cleanest thing that’s been done to it since taken out of wrapping.

[-]

Practical-Union5652@reddit

We have two idiots. CTO and the end user. I suggest you to wear mask and snorkel next time you go to that little idiot of user complaining for a teardrop....

[-]

NoCream2189@reddit

ok you need to look for another job. If ur CTO does not have ur back over a tear drop, imagine what’s going to happen if you make a mistake.

i’ve made lots of mistakes in my 40yr IT career, my bosses always took it as a learning opportunity. If i already had not learnt from the mistake.

[-]

reddit_username2021@reddit

You could just replace user’s keyboard.

I had different case than this. User spilled out water and it caused short. Administrator of the building turned the brakers on. When I came back to the user, it turned out her friend sitting on oposite site also spilled out water earlier. She didn’t bother to let me know, move from her workstation

[-]

TacodWheel@reddit

Next time the CTO needs your help, give them the Mallrats stinkpalm.

[-]

Ravenlas@reddit

"Small price to pay for the smiting of one's enemies".

[-]

LorektheBear@reddit

Love it! Classic.

[-]

bex10110@reddit

Or maybe review your hygiene to see if it is on par with what is considered socially acceptable? I only say this because there’s an employee with bad hygiene at work and i know if something was said to him, he would think the other person is the problem, not him. Many people take issue with his hygiene but I guess no formal complaints so no formal discussion with him.

[-]

brutal4455@reddit

I would teabag that sh*

[-]

wesinatl@reddit

Your CTO is dickhead.

[-]

frellus@reddit

"There's no crying in baseball!" . . . look, man. You need to channel your inner BOFH. You don't let the users get to you to the point that you are shedding tears -- you make *THEM* cry by being a BOFH. You're doing it wrong.

[-]

nut-sack@reddit

Are you...heavy? Maybe they meant you were sweating and that shit was on their keyboard. But to try and knock it down a bit he said tear drop so it didnt sound quite so... offensive.

[-]

Different_Oil5133@reddit

next ticket for her show up in full hazmat/bio hazard gear ( a la the 1995 film "Outbreak" ) and then proceed to caution tape around the entire desk before clearing a 20 foot radius and then proceed to resolve the issue (always wanted to do this to users when infosec fire drilled us to get their laptop)

[-]

phony_sys_admin@reddit

Back in my hell desk days, I had received a ticket for a network connection issue. Call the user and run through a few things. Everything seems good on her end. She had a breakdown over the phone because I didn't (need to) come up there to check it out even though she was working just fine... went up and checked her cable, made her think I was doing something, and left.

The lead jokingly asked me what I was doing to make end users cry.

[-]

gabacus_39@reddit

Is this a troll post? Is it referencing another post I'm not aware of?

This can't be real, can it?

[-]

buffs1876@reddit

gif

[-]

czj420@reddit

Looks at the user's IP phone's handsets ear piece.

[-]

Chaoticwhizz@reddit

I would really want to ask what was going on in the person's mind? Maybe have someone mediate a brief meeting with the two of you? Maybe the new person is actually crazy or maybe, from their point of view, their reaction made sense. Anyway, having you sign a citation and just sweeping it under the rug without actually finding out what was going on seems like a poor decision on your supervisor's part. After all, leaving this unresolved just creates tension between employees.

[-]

hashkent@reddit

CTO is a dick for not sticking up for you.

[-]

Korochun@reddit

I had a similar conversation because in downtime I will sometimes trim my beard with scissors in my cubicle and keep it kempt. Not like a full on shaving session, just a few pinches of hair that I immediately toss into the bin.

Apparently some user complained about it to my manager because I was eating a sandwich and trimming while a customer was talking to a coworker across the office.

My first words when she brought it up were "feel free to document it in a non-verbal format if you want to write me up", and when she told me she can't do that because it would look ridiculous and the Union would have a field day, I just told her I am going to pretend like we didn't just have this stupid conversation.

That workplace was goddamn stupid.

[-]

DragonsBane80@reddit

That's along the same lines as trimming your finger nails at work. Just... Don't. Is it awful and worth a write up? No. Are you in the right? No. Just, do better.

[-]

Korochun@reddit

When you are doing 60 hour workweeks covering for 5 people for a year at a go, to be frank it was about all I could do to stay groomed. They were lucky I didn't set up a bathtub in there.

But hey, I am just doing better now. Amazing how not working at a shitty place can do that. Thank you for your amazing advice.

[-]

DragonsBane80@reddit

Glad you're doing better. Just saying we've all worked with "that guy" that doesn't give two shits (or isn't aware) of general work etiquette. Idk you, so no judgement... It's more of a flash back to past experience.

Had a coworker that would leave half full coffee cups on his desk for weeks/months. Long enough that it would form a film of mold. Or the mostly empty bowl of oatmeal. Is it a problem? Meh. It's just kinda gross when you're working in adjoining cubicles.

[-]

Korochun@reddit

Nah, it's more context dependent but frankly that place was the worst. I have zero compunctions about any of it because the conditions were awful to begin with.

At one point the cubicle next to mine had the ceiling starting to leak and then collapse. Turns out there was a sewage leak from upstairs bathroom that was simply 'treated' by stacking those roof tiles on top of each other to absorb said leak until they became so saturated with shit that the ceiling literally collapsed on my coworkers desk.

Trust me when I say keeping myself groomed was by far the least of the issues about that place.

[-]

DragonsBane80@reddit

So... You worked in a literal shit hole, got it. Lol

[-]

Korochun@reddit

At least the rats were cute.

[-]

Hotdog453@reddit

Yeah. I mean, while I would not 'write someone up' about it, it's just gross and kinda weird.

You could just... not, trim your beard at work. That's also an option.

[-]

RonDiaz@reddit

People making their Union defend something like this, is part of what makes people hate Unions. my gods.

[-]

Korochun@reddit

I never brought up my union and frankly they were almost entirely useless. Either way, in my experience people hate unions because they either take your money and don't do anything productive, or because the Union nailed them to a wall for something unethical they did. But you can read into it if you'd like.

[-]

port25@reddit

Bruh. That's gross.

[-]

RockAZ_T@reddit

Come on, it was drool, not tear drop !

[-]

spif@reddit

This is why no one wants to return to the office.

[-]

Veldern@reddit

Say you do not recall that and ask for a DNA test

[-]

zgheen93@reddit

my first reaction is publicly shame said user, or CTO. or bury them up to their shoulders and throw stones at them. one or the other.

[-]

WorldlinessUsual4528@reddit

Ok, seriously...If you're in a state where you're crying, you shouldn't be visiting users in person. Take a few and collect yourself or go home.

It's uncomfortable for others to have to watch your breakdown, honestly. This is coming from someone who has had a few, I will excuse myself and do what I need to do before coming back.

[-]

Valdaraak@reddit

If you're in a state where you're crying, you shouldn't be visiting users in person

I agree. But they weren't. Read the post again. Nothing in the post indicates OP was crying.

[-]

WorldlinessUsual4528@reddit

And nothing indicates they weren't. They said they don't have a history of it and asked how to prevent it in the future. It's really not clear either way but if it wasn't them, why would they need to take steps to keep it from happening again?

[-]

trapped_outta_town2@reddit

Right? This whole post makes such little sense. First, OP apparently "left something" on a users keyboard. Then, the CTO gave him a talking to about his hyigene issues.

Then he makes a rather nonsensical post about this event for sympathy, and people eat it up.

I'd love to hear the details from the other involved people.

[-]

stratospaly@reddit

Working in medical we used rubber covers for the keyboards in the phlebotomy lab because I refuse to work on equipment with fluids on them.

This sounds like an HR issue to me. If it was allergies or something you cannot be expected to control your eye fluids.

[-]

stuckinPA@reddit

I work in a hospital. In our lab, any mouse/kbd connected to an analyzer is only to be touched with gloved hands.

[-]

new_nimmerzz@reddit

Unless you’re swapping out the rubber cover you’re just interacting with the fluids there….

[-]

stratospaly@reddit

They wipe everything down with heavy duty cleaner, but cracks of keyboards are hard to catch.

[-]

zakabog@reddit

If it was allergies or something you cannot be expected to control your eye fluids.

I've had pretty bad allergies but never so bad that my eyes were leaving tear drops on my desk or keyboard. It sounds like it could have been a different liquid, tear drop sounds too specific and highly unlikely.

[-]

Wild_Child434@reddit

Maybe it was sweat. I carry a hanky and wipes just in case cause when I'm deploying a new workstation last thing I want is my sweat all over the equipment

[-]

HealthySurgeon@reddit

Why are people in a phlebotomy lab getting fluids on their equipment? They should be wearing gloves whenever handling anything remotely related to human bodily fluids, and then taking them off prior to using a device. Replacing them if necessary when done using the device.

However, typically, they should well finished with handling bodily fluids by the time they touch their computer.

Labs that ignore these types of procedures tend to get some cross contamination and mistakes that are costly to the patients.

[-]

According-Vehicle999@reddit

I refuse more and more to go to people's desk unless they're people I know won't throw me under the bus for something stupid. I will remote in when I get back to my desk and you can call me if you really insist on discussing it. Maybe I'm an asshole but people complain if they can't find me.. so this is the solution; I'll be at my desk where everyone can find me.

[-]

dodexahedron@reddit

CTO makes a dollar. You make a dime. That's why you cry on company time.

[-]

Humble-Plankton2217@reddit

Teardrop or post-nasal drip?

[-]

Bont_Tarentaal@reddit

This gave me flashbacks to the win95 teardrop vulnerability...

[-]

toeonly@reddit

I was thinking the same thing.

[-]

90Carat@reddit

"Company policy now states that I must cover your entire work area with Saran Wrap prior to assisting you. Thank you for your understanding."

[-]

Hoosier_Farmer_@reddit

only 'stern talking to' I've received (about hygiene) was because user complained of my odor of partying all last night.

a shower and toothbrush and breath mints don't cover up an all-night smoking-drinking-banging-rager. also, I was probably still NSFW well into the afternoon... lesson learned!

[-]

Rocknbob69@reddit

User tears are the sweetest tears

[-]

Hoosier_Farmer_@reddit

sounds like you've never made a vendor cry

[-]

Cmd-Line-Interface@reddit

Is this real?

[-]

oneslipaway@reddit

I've seen dumber complaints personally..........

[-]

Djglamrock@reddit

Right? I thought I was on shitty sysadmin for a sec.

[-]

RCG73@reddit

I sure AF hope not

[-]

Cmd-Line-Interface@reddit

Me too haha

[-]

Natural_Sherbert_391@reddit

Did this user have a green complexion, wear a pointy hat, and have a broomstick in the corner of the office?

[-]

muklan@reddit

Ohhh Wizards are fine to have just about anywhere, but you have to come at witches like that? Boy, you just wait till this giant cauldron I've got for unrelated reasons finishes simmering...

[-]

Natural_Sherbert_391@reddit

Lol.. just saying they do have a tendency to melt when doused with liquid substances.

[-]

pdp10@reddit

In the original book, the W.W.W. carried an umbrella, not a broomstick, for reasons that may be obvious.

[-]

new_nimmerzz@reddit

Needs more eye of newt and some rat tails

[-]

Wynter_born@reddit

They thought they'd try Defying Empathy.

[-]

nath999@reddit

I'm not sure I am believing this. Your CTO talking to you about a random drop on a users keyboard? Why would he care? If this happened why would your CTO be the one talking to you and not a manager?

[-]

ObiLAN-@reddit

CTO could be whi he reports to directly.

Believe it or not, not every company is hundreds to thousands of employees in size.

[-]

oldfinnn@reddit

From what I can tell, this individual has some serious issues. If what happened really did occur, it clearly wasn’t intentional, and the person they’re upset with was only trying to help with a computer issue, literally going above and beyond for them.

Well, that person is now blacklisted in my book. Next time they call in with a problem, they’ll be at the very bottom of the priority list. They can wait their turn like everyone else, or longer. Moving forward, everything will be handled remotely. No one is going near their desk. Honestly, this is the treatment they’ve earned.

[-]

ObiLAN-@reddit

I was written up once for "being too sweaty", because an end user reported it.

Like bitch, I've been running up and down stairs carrying equipment for 4 hours straight.

Best part she was a nasty landwhale of a person who would break a sweat tieing her shoes.

[-]

krispzz@reddit

just wait until they find out where your resting hands sit.

[-]

grantnaps@reddit

A haiku courtesy of copilot.

Unseen tear drop falls, Keys short, user vents, boss scolds, Tech in silence stalls.

[-]

forfucksakewhatnow@reddit

gif

[-]

dougmc@reddit

Allow me to put on my customer service hat and I respond with a ...

wtf?

What a petty thing for a user to get upset about, and what a weird thing for the CTO to not have your back on.

It makes me glad (again) for the people I work with.

[-]

lectos1977@reddit

I bring mrsa wipes with me to clean their filthy keyboard, due to their booger pickers, before I will work. A tear would be less of a biohazard than what these idiots do on the keyboard all day.

[-]

sneakattaxk@reddit

Releasing bodily fluids on workstations? What office are you working in?

[-]

Automatic_Mulberry@reddit

I had the opposite thing happen to me once, more or less.

I went to a user's desk, and they were a heavy user of hand cream. Like, they applied hand cream no fewer than three times during my fifteen-minute visit. They keys and mouse were.... slimy.

Strangely, I did not complain to their boss about it. I now see that I should have, and then taken a few mental health days to recover, because it was gross as hell.

[-]

port25@reddit

Greasy and sticky at the same time. Ducking gremlins

[-]

OldManSysAdmin@reddit

Flip their keyboard over, shake it out, show them that the teardrop might as well have fallen in the ocean.

At least that's what the vengeful part of me says to do.

[-]

port25@reddit

I have done this, it feels SO good. You want a third keyboard because yours is sticky and somehow greasy at the same time? Gfy.

What is a Keyboard?

A miserable little pile of skin and food crumbs.

[-]

Stryker1-1@reddit

Can I join your company? If this is the biggest issue your CTO has to worry about I feel I would have a cush gig

[-]

Mesquiter@reddit

[-]

Mesquiter@reddit

It's ok...we all cry while working. Nothing to see here, move along.

[-]

jaykaboomboom@reddit

Leave that organization. There is no place for leadership like this.

[-]

Sultans-Of-IT@reddit

You're not Native American are you?

[-]

port25@reddit

Took me so long to figure out you weren't talking about their writing skill. 😂

[-]

port25@reddit

Go back to that user, turn their keyboard upside down, and shake it. Give them the 🤨 and walk away.

[-]

2FalseSteps@reddit

Some people will find something to complain about, ANYTHING to complain about, just to deflect from their own fuckups.

Don't worry about it. HR has my manager's number on speed-dial. He's used to "complaints", like that.

[-]

Valkeyere@reddit

If your manager is used to complaints about you crying at work, dude, are you okay? :P

[-]

2FalseSteps@reddit

They're tears of frustration for not being allowed to smack the users upside their stupid heads.

HR says I can't do that, anymore.

[-]

Turbulent-Falcon-918@reddit

After 20 years : you are absolutely right : some people are so insecure they find anything g to complain to feel superior : I remember once I had one call for a password change : when we make passwords we do month+day and then four random numbers : I did Oct+Tue but the day was Monday , and the use said well this uses Monday and it’s Tuesday . So not only did she have an issue with her password but has called in so many times in her tenure for a domain password she knows our format . So I go well I can change it again if would like . Figured no big deal because it’s just to get int why reset it : went back and fourth for like five minutes over this bs . I was like other than changing it to something else there is literally I can’t do about putting Mon instead of Tue . She literally said I just want to admit you are incompetent and use the wrong day . “ I was like sure “ she said literally “so?” I was like so what , “are you goi g to admit or should i file a complaint “ I said how about both and just went on to my next user . My boss didn’t even know what to do with the complaint , she was like well they set the password , yes , it worked , yes , they said they made a mistake , yes — so you are in now with a password you created : yes — so what’s the issue ? Neither of us trying to be smart ass just genuinely befuddled about why she was so upset .

[-]

jimicus@reddit

She wanted an excuse to be upset.

[-]

vdragonmpc@reddit

Ok, so Im not advocating or admitting to this but there is an after hours option for this user.

Nuclear: Go get a can of anchovies. Remove 1 with tweezers. Place on the CPU heatsink under the fan. Make sure its patted dry with a towel to not get moisture loose.

Thermonuclear deathcloud hate option: Go to the asian market. You are looking for 'shrimp paste' get a small bottle and use a small amount on the CPU heatsink under the fan. Its awful and reeks to hell. Its easily cleaned off and is amazingly powerful.

[-]

Int-Merc805@reddit

I would show up like scuba fucking Steve going forward. Straight up Adam Sandler voice “I don’t wanna shed a tear on a cleanable surface so I come prepared daily”. Extra points for somehow keeping the wetsuit moist with something that is very clearly not tears.

[-]

FickleBJT@reddit

“Don’t come any closer until I have my full hazmat suit on. I swear it’s not you, it’s me! My precious bodily fluids are out of control!”

[-]

mdhardeman@reddit

If I were the CTO in this situation, the discussion would have ended between myself and which ever line manager brought it to me.

"I'm just as uncomfortable discussing this with my technician as you would be discussing the `fact` that my technician only shed that tear because the workstation stank of onions. We both have similar levels of supporting evidence. Let's roll with shit happens and we live in an imperfect world. You good? Me too."

[-]

spacewolf76@reddit

It's probably a question of salinity. In order to cleanse the salty liquid from the keyboard you should rinse the surface with de-salinized liquids or possibly non-perfuned baby wipes

[-]

AliJohnBaker@reddit

Depending on your jurisdiction, report this incident to whatever lowest level of government for your area that has a Health and Safety department. Report it anonymously. Report it as if you are the offended end user.

[-]

shmightworks@reddit

"teardrop? no that wasn't teardrop, that's my..."

[-]

catwiesel@reddit

yeah, the crime is when the support touches the keyboard.

NOT that the support has to touch THAT keyboard...

please ask your CTO for hazmat suit. failing that, maybe you can get your own keyboard that you will use in all support cases. no more touching users equipment or, you know, they get their head out of their ass... and if indeed there was an incident, accidents do happen, just replace that $9 keyboard....

[-]

TKInstinct@reddit

That's ridiculous, I remember insulin pump got ripped off at a desk once and I had a decent amount of bloodshed that I didn't realize but cleaned up. No one cared about that, a teardrop is insane.

[-]

ArcaneGlyph@reddit

You'd better believe that user is never getting a mouse that hasn't been stuffed down someone pants from here on out.

[-]

Brad_from_Wisconsin@reddit

As far as bodily fluids that could hit a keyboard, I would say your user was lucky

[-]

SpotlessCheetah@reddit

If I'm reading between the lines, you had an interaction with said user that caused them to cry and then you got a talking to? What actually happened?

[-]

shell_shocked_today@reddit

I'm just gonna throw this in there. You don't remember it happening. They user is claiming it happened.

We all know that users lie.

I'm guessing any user who complains about this would be a regular problem user. I'd question whether this even happened.

[-]

TurboLicious1855@reddit

I'm sorry but those are my teardrops.

[-]

Bitter_Passage@reddit

We use teardrop covers on all of our keyboards.

[-]

Spiritual-Stand1573@reddit

It is recommended to convene an immediate meeting of the executive board.

[-]

wordsthatendini@reddit

Read the section on Assholes from the Book 'Build: An Unorthodox Guide to Making Things Worth Making' by Tony Fadell - https://karnwong.me/posts/2023/07/book-highlights---build--by-tony-fadell/

[-]

coalsack@reddit

Users are now required to drop off all equipment to help desk. You will pick it up from there for your purposes. Once complete, you will return the equipment back to help desk where the user can pick up the equipment. They will walk the user through changes and verify settings before sending the user on their way.

Simple as.

[-]

nostradamefrus@reddit

I had to make sure I wasn't in /r/ShittySysadmin

[-]

Sobeman@reddit

Next time you help the user, wear a mask and googles, but just for that user.

[-]

sysadminbj@reddit

That sounds a little excessive. Like either this person has a grudge against you or they are extremely mentally unstable and this triggered them.

[-]

mikeyflyguy@reddit

Little? This is straight up lunacy.

[-]

deyemeracing@reddit

I'd ask to see the location of the offense. When taken to the keyboard, I'd turn it upside down and rap it on the desk a few times. Then ask the CTO to find the teardrop in all of that.

So glad I never worked for a large company while in I.T.

[-]

Nuclear_Shadow@reddit

For starters I would have them change the header on the citation to have (Tear) in it.
"Releasing body fluids on workstations" is not a header you want someone browsing over in the system.

Also, who is the compassionless ass that saw that you shed a tear while working on their machine and went to your boss with "it was on my keyboard" instead of "Hey, this person may need some help."

[-]

ThatBCHGuy@reddit

Your CTO is a prick.

[-]

Savings_Art5944@reddit

And end-users. Hope OP is really OK.

[-]

Savings_Art5944@reddit

hawk tuah right on Karen's monitor.

[-]

kerosene31@reddit

I all BS. Every sysadmin cries themselves out of tears in the first few days on the job.

[-]

BlueSide_Up@reddit

Only remote support for that user from now on. Don't leave your desk.

[-]

Maxwell_Perkins088@reddit

This is a keep your head down and start looking to bounce… type incident. It tells me much more about that business structure than your professionalism. In case you didn’t know, you’re in a shitshow.

[-]

hellcat_uk@reddit

Clearly this user can't handle having a keyboard. Swing by after hours and remove it.

[-]

Heavy_Race3173@reddit

I am just imagining all the things r/shittysysadmin would say about this.

Top solution is go back and cum on the keyboard

[-]

Expensive_Plant_9530@reddit

Did you actually cry or was this something else, like a droplet of water from a water bottle or you literally had something in your eye?

If you did cry on said keyboard, was this in private or in front of the end user?

I'm very confused by the whole situation. What exactly did your CTO tell you not to do?

[-]

Nossa30@reddit

We've become a society of soft, coddled, idiots.

Who goes outta there way to report something like this?

[-]

Barrerayy@reddit

A teardrop caused a breakdown? What? I don't follow lol

[-]

GullibleCrazy488@reddit

So silly and I agree, he should have stuck up for you. I remember people getting antsy when I would touch their screens, but I guess it could be annoying when you want a perfectly clean screen.

[-]

zakabog@reddit

I had a tear drop fall on a user’s keyboard. Apparently, this triggered a complete breakdown for said user.

We have one user that's this particular, they're a germaphobe so they bring their own keyboard and mouse to work, we don't touch it and we Clorox wipe their desk whenever we do anything at the desk when they aren't around (they don't work in the office often, we just occasionally go there if they plan on coming in and we want to make sure they're ready.)

[-]

Kiowascout@reddit

people like this deserve no accomodation or special treatment that goes to the lengths of someone specially stoping by to wipe down their desk prior to their anticipated arrival thus enabling this behavior and aneabling them to want more and more special treatment.

[-]

Ssakaa@reddit

So, now, you're the arbiter of the validity of someone's ADA (or translate to your local equivalent if you're not in the US) accomodations?

And they didn't say they went to the desk specifically to wipe it down, but instead to do a quick pre-check to make sure everything was in working order before they came in. Wiping the desk was simply a quick addition for that because they had breathed all over it.

[-]

pm_me_domme_pics@reddit

For real. I'd respect someone for being particular but making it everyone elses problem doesn't appear as if their issue is with germs, their issue is not feeling in control of others/situations

[-]

zakabog@reddit

we Clorox wipe their desk whenever we do anything at the desk when they aren't around

If we go to their desk we cleanup afterwards, I'm okay accommodating someone to this level two or three times a year, they can't help how they feel about germs so I get it.

What actually irks me is the users that don't even try, I had to travel two hours to lift up the screen on a phone because the end user (a wealthy CEO) thought they might break it.

[-]

HoustonBOFH@reddit

I remember early in my IT life I was called in for an amazingly stupid reason like this totally beyond my control. I was asked what i could do going forward to prevent this from happening again. i said "I guess I could start updating my resume." Turned out this was the right answer in so many ways. Got unemployment because their "with cause" was indefensible. And the next job was way better!

[-]

bobs143@reddit

A teardrop? WTF??

Sounds like the CTO is trying to fabricate something to get rid of you.

Document everything. Or even better just start applying for new jobs.

A teardrop? What a weak excuse.

[-]

wezelboy@reddit

First thing out of my mouth would have been- you got proof?

[-]

anonymousITCoward@reddit

How did you correct the issue?

Never support that end user again... At all... ever... Your CTO sounds like a douche...

[-]

123ihavetogoweeeeee@reddit

This. Internal user black list is real.

It’s never the users who think they are annoying. It’s the users who never ask or don’t care.

[-]

stonecoldcoldstone@reddit

are you ok? are you safe? are you in a union?

[-]

BoltActionRifleman@reddit

I clicked into the post assuming “teardrop” was some kind of software or hardware I’d never heard of before. Is this real? I can’t imagine working at a company where an incident report is drawn up for a completely natural accident such as a tear drop falling. If it’s real, maybe say your eyes were watering so much because the user smelled like ass.

[-]

123ihavetogoweeeeee@reddit

Same!!

[-]

0RGASMIK@reddit

Probably sweat. 😓

[-]

kennyj2011@reddit

You know how many disgusting keyboards we’ve all had to touch doing desk side support in the past… lol!

[-]

merRedditor@reddit

My tears are usually real.

[-]

Geocacher62@reddit

Tell the jackass CTO that it wasn’t a tear it was a drop of sweat because you work so damn hard. What a tool.

[-]

kiddj1@reddit

Wear a full hazmat suit with goggles

[-]

Brett707@reddit

I would have said look that person needs to get over themselves it's not like I rubbed my dick on their disgusting ass keyboard.

[-]

iB83gbRo@reddit

Unbeknownst to me, I had a tear drop fall on a user’s keyboard.

I'm calling bullshit on that user's claim... I'm pretty sure you would notice if your eyes were producing enough tears to drip. Given that it's usually the result of some form of irritation.

[-]

MetaVulture@reddit

I once had a user complain about me because they told a joke and I did not laugh.

I was trying to recover their critical red alert all hands on deck computer crisis.

I couldn't hear them over the sound of beeping, my phone ringing, and the din of the server fans.

I got written up.

[-]

thecountnz@reddit

I’m confused- is this /r/shittysysadmin?

[-]

sssRealm@reddit

I remember a coworker got a complaint that he sneezed. I said, "Excuse us for being human". My boss just laughed. He didn't take it seriously. We all just despised that person that complained more.

[-]

killacali916@reddit

Show up with these old welding glasses 🤓

[-]

ziroux@reddit

Of course, the user broke down due to error while reassembling the incoming tear

[-]

Sultans-Of-IT@reddit

I rub my balls on the keyboards after hours so jokes on them.

[-]

Ad-1316@reddit

hands you a Kleenex and walks away.

[-]

connexionwithal@reddit

Rogue teardrops are huge issue. We specifically plan our headquarters with slanted keyboard (89 degrees) to prevent rogue teardrops but sometimes when someone is sprinting while crying a teardrop will hit it at just the right angle. Neverending problem and most RMA’s don’t cover the replacements so we carved out a budget item for 2025 for it.

[-]

kommissar_chaR@reddit

I would wear the swim goggles and when someone asks, tell them exactly why you are wearing them

[-]

Flabbergasted98@reddit

But only where them at her desk.

Like stop 10 feet back, and put on a surgical gown and gloves, goggles and a hair net like you're gym carry before ever approaching her again.

[-]

mirlyn@reddit

I'm picturing typing in a password with a yardstick.

Maybe VNC for this specific computer would be easier.

[-]

Watsonwes@reddit

Solution is to help them again and ask them to do a fluid inspection after your done on keyboard and give a grand apology for your misstep

[-]

djaybe@reddit

Is the users name Peggy?

https://youtu.be/-AINf2Kxqko?si=3H0PXZKyU-SB2Fwl

[-]

Brokedown_Ev@reddit

What was said in this stern talking? I gotta know.

[-]

Sailass@reddit

Has anyone else received a citation for releasing body fluids on workstations?

Well that escalated quickly...

Also, maybe.

[-]

zipcad@reddit

I hope this becomes a new copy pasta

[-]

Dizzy_Bridge_794@reddit

Bring your own keyboard with you? It kinda ridiculous unless they have a germ phobia of some sort. Not like you sneezed all over their keyboard and desk.