My mom passed away on Christmas. Bittersweet.

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LowkeyPony@reddit

My dad passed at 57, 30 years ago. Aunts and uncles on that side have been gone for years now. And growing up we were never close with the cousins. Mom is still here at 84. Lost her younger sister last May. I’m not close to my one cousin on that side. Other aunt and uncle have no kids. I went no contact with my sister. And after some of the things my mom has said to me. Went low contact with her. I have felt alone for decades.

I have my husband, our daughter. And less than a handful of friends left, since most were older than me.

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dustypony21@reddit

Every adult (regardless of age) needs a will and other end-of-life documents (power of attorney, medical directives etc.). Review and revise every few years or upon life events (marriage, birth of child, death of beneficiary, etc.).

Get a notebook and write down all your passwords and account numbers - even utilities and magazine subscriptions. You can find notebooks with ABC tabs so you can put things in an organized, alphabetical section.

If you have heirloom items or just anything you specifically want to go to a certain person, put that in the will or notarized addendum. Be sure your executor knows where these documents are and has immediate access to them.

Don’t let this overwhelm you. Start slow - maybe a couple of hours on a snowed-in weekend. If you really need help, consider purchase of NOKbox products (NOK stands for next of kin). You could do it on your own but that product holds your hand and walks you through the steps.

This is shared by the Voice of Experience (me), who has seen the WORST case scenarios when people die or become incapacitated without these essential documents. Be well and live in peace.

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Agoodhope@reddit

My mom died the 19th of December. My dad died June 2020. I am 49.

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ResisterTransSister@reddit

I sorry you're going through that. My dad died 9 years ago on Dec 26.

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RCA2CE@reddit

I was an “orphan” in 2006 - my mom passed in her early 60s

I have siblings but when my mom passed we all sort of went our own ways and we don’t really live near each other

I’m married and we are empty nesters, my wife has her mom but rarely sees hers - we both grew up very poor. We have been all each other has for 20 years. It’s me and her - no safety net

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Restless-J-Con22@reddit

🫂

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steffi309@reddit

My mother passed in 2022 after 17 years on dialysis and other medical problems. Definitely spend time with them. By the time she passed away she was so different from the woman that raised me it was like a different person. She didn't have dementia that I was aware of but something had changed. I miss her regardless

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Relevant_Delay_4183@reddit

Just went through this too. It feels awful. I also paid off debt which I’m grateful for, but the hole that is left from my parent being gone feels hopeless. Doing my best to power through. Hang in there 🙏

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Fickle-Woodpecker596@reddit

My mom passed away in March 2021. My dad passed away in 2005. I'm an only child don't have a wife or children I'll be 53 next week. So I definitely understand this stage of life. I have no other family left so it's been a very strange and empty few years I've had now entering this whole new universe of what life is now. If you've had good parents that were there for you when you lose them it's inconceivable to comprehend.

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Big_Routine_8980@reddit

I'm also single, and an only child, and my parents are 79, if you can give me any tips to get through the next few years and how to manage, I would really appreciate it. Thanks and I'm sorry for your losses.

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No-Astronomer2595@reddit

My mom passed unexpectedly when I was 40, make sure your folks have all their stuff in order, my mom didn’t have a will and even as an only child probate court was ridiculous. More importantly spend as much time with them and help them as much as possible

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VioletaBlueberry@reddit

This!!!! That means documents giving you permission to discuss medical treatment if they'll allow it. Add to that wills, trusts and access to documents about anything they own or owe.

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No-Astronomer2595@reddit

No one would have known when my grandmother first got diagnosed with dementia if it wasn’t for this, woman was still insisting on driving herself to the doctor and then forgetting why she was even there

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supershinythings@reddit

One of my half-siblings tried to fight me in probate court. He lost.

I am so grateful my father had both a will AND a trust. It made the whole process much less combative when it was the judge telling half-sibling who hadn’t so much as talked to Dad in 50+ years that no, he’s not entitled simply because he’s the oldest. The will and the trust are what matter.

There wasn’t much to get but he was just so angry at Dad that attacking me, the one who took care of Dad over the previous several decades, was his only way to get back at Dad. He said he wanted me to be homeless and turned out into the streets.

So get a will AND a trust. Put real estate into the trust, possibly a brokerage account if there is one. Make sure the will and trust have an executor, trustees, and beneficiaries.

Dad changed his beneficiaries at least once, about 10 years after he first made his will and trust. It’s a revocable trust so he could do that all he liked.

In the end the half-brother was unsuccessful at making me homeless. Dad’s will and trust were absolutely instrumental in enforcing his wishes.

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No-Astronomer2595@reddit

Yep! I have seen both sides and you do not want to leave your family without a will and trust, put the house as a homestead

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Fickle-Woodpecker596@reddit

I can second this. When my dad died in 2005 I haven't seen him in years. He had moved down south I live in the northeast and I had kicked the can down the road on going to see him even though we had been in touch. Then I got a phone call at work he was rushed to the hospital and died. I swore I wouldn't let the same thing happen with my mom and stayed close being an only child to her. All I can say is there is no second chances, stay close and stay in touch if you love them.

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Big_Routine_8980@reddit

Thank you for this, we went antiquing last weekend, I'm going to call and get together with her this weekend as well if she wants.

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No-Astronomer2595@reddit

Enjoy your time ❤️

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No-Astronomer2595@reddit

Yep. I won’t live more than a couple hours away from my dad now. I want to move badly but there’s no way I could be too far away from him. They need us more than they say.

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Big_Routine_8980@reddit

I'm sorry for your loss, that's so young to lose both parents I can't imagine how difficult that must have been for you. My parents have their wills in order, I just can't imagine being without them, and here I am 57 years old. Again, I want to say that you must have a strong support system and be a strong individual to have gotten through that at such a relatively young age.

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SgtKeener@reddit

Start decluttering with them now! I had to sort through my dad’s house (my mom had died 20 years earlier), deciding what was important to keep and what to donate or throw out. You might find items that you wish you knew why they kept it. I did most of it on my own, with my teen and two cousins occasionally helping. My dad had also put me as a co-signer for his safety deposit box and bank account. With so many things digital be sure to know where to find their passwords and answers to their security questions!! It would have helped to know the name of my dad’s best friend in elementary school!

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disreputablerogue@reddit

Same. Only child, never married, no kids. I lost my dad in '23. Since then, mom's depression and dementia have largely taken her away. But in 22 we took a two week Alaskan trip/cruise. I cherish those memories. So besides the legal stuff others mentioned, which are absolutely necessary, if they are able, go experience things with them. Make a few more memories.

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johntynes@reddit

Make sure your parents have both their names on all bank, credit card, brokerage accounts, car titles, and property deeds. Make sure each parent’s retirement accounts list the other parent as the beneficiary. Make sure each parent has a will and has signed a durable power of attorney for the other that covers finances and medical decisions. If they do all that, you may be able to skip probate and keep everything orderly.

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butterflieskittycats@reddit

Not in Virginia. It was like that with my parents. When my mom died my dad put everything in his name. When he died his will specifically said split amongst 5 kids. Period. All of us are in agreement all of us are on the same page (I know it is strange but I have an amazing family...my parents first rule of the house was "family first") yet here we are 18 months later in probate still. No debt. House paid off. Just guess it's time for local government to squeeze money from the dead.

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Many_Monk708@reddit

What about becoming a Big Brother/Sister? Being a mentor can bring a powerful and positive relationship into your life.

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Ancient_Ad_9373@reddit

Invest time in building your communities, your chosen family, your close friends. We don’t have to be alone. Especially as we encounter the struggle of aging parents, and, well, just getting older. 💕

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North_Designer7653@reddit

I’m not looking forward to being the oldest adult when my parents pass, I’m sure it seems strange.

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Blossom73@reddit

It is an odd feeling at first. Both my parents are long deceased.

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gatorman98@reddit

It’s weird.

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catdogwoman@reddit

I'm 60, but the same. It's crazy being so absolutely alone in the world. I also moved 1000 miles away from where I lived near my family.

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Fickle-Woodpecker596@reddit

I think that is something that is a solution for some of us in this situation (we are select few). Removing yourself from your past since there is no one left. Being back in my child at home the only room I'm comfortable being in is my mom's old bedroom because that was the one I was almost never in. My old childhood bedroom I think I've opened the door 10 times since I came back here in October 2021

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catdogwoman@reddit

I think picking up and moving saved me. I would have stagnated back there.

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Fickle-Woodpecker596@reddit

I try to completely avoid that topic as much as I can. No one I speak to can possibly understand it and if I don't bring that topic up no one would know since it's a very specific category. "how was your holiday with family?"

Fine Then onto the next topic

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Fickle-Woodpecker596@reddit

Or I'm sure you have gotten the sympathy- Come spend Thanksgiving/Christmas over here with us. Sorry but I would rather watch a Mr. Belvedere marathon in bed on Christmas Day then go travel to someone's house to spend a holiday with their family.

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catdogwoman@reddit

Right? I'm pretty sure I offended my new neighbor last year, but I just couldn't make myself go. We are in a pretty small demographic.

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palmveach1972@reddit

We are soloist. I’m in the same situation and I’m 52F. It’s an adventure, but I’ve made this haphazard group of people my family. Six years ago m, I relocated 1200 miles from where I grew up.

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wildrose76@reddit

Similar to you. 48 and single. My mom also died in early 2021. My dad in 2006. I do have siblings, but they both live on the other side of Canada now. Generally I’m content and have friends around, but Thanksgiving and Christmas were quiet and lonely this year.

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Fickle-Woodpecker596@reddit

I moved back in my mother's house which is also the house I grew up in. We moved here in 1974 when I was two years old. The holidays are excruciating to sit in this house alone now and just relive all the memories. I believe I made the wrong decision to move back in even though most people told me I would be out of my mind to sell the house. But when you have no family left you don't have people you can fully trust to tell you or understand what you should do or why.

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wildrose76@reddit

I sold the large suburban house I inherited from my grandparents last year and bought an inner city condo. This was after I had lived in the house for 20 years. I admit I cried when I got the text from the lawyers that they had the funds and the keys would be released to the new owners, but overall the move was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

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Fickle-Woodpecker596@reddit

Yes as heartbreaking is it will be to let this house go I believe it has to be the right move to let go and move on with my life. It's like living in the past staying here every day. Not having a wife or children I don't need a house and it's a house that needs so much upkeep it's overwhelming. All I need is a condo or a townhouse.

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ewatts25@reddit

My Dad passed on Christmas Day 2020 and my Mom 11 days later. At the time it was devastating. Aside from my wife and daughter they were my only family. Now I see it a bit differently, where I find it romantic that they spent most of their lives together and left together. I miss them tremendously, but now my focus is making life as perfect as possible for my girls.

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2Dogs3Tents@reddit

So sorry OP. I feel you. My dad died when i was 10 and my mom turns 86 this year and her health is declining. I know i'm going to need to go live with her in the next couple of years to help her. It's bittersweet for sure knowing i will spend her last years with her. Hugs to you and your family.

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bizzylearning@reddit

Realizing how much of life is bittersweet hits hard, doesn't it?

My biological dad died when I was two. My mom remarried (a wonderful man), and he died when I was 18. My mom died when I was 26.

Every once in a while, my husband will just up and hug me tightly out of nowhere. When I ask him why, he says, "Because you're an orphan." I'm now in my early 50s, and honestly, although I've had a beautiful life, with a good job, a wonderful family, those hugs soothe the orphan in the corner of my heart. And she needs it, because I tend to neglect her.

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Candygramformrmongo@reddit

You are the support system now; it's your turn. Draw strength and pride from your kids. The parent generation passes and we're the front rank, until it's our turn. Take solace in knowing that you're part of a process as old as time. Everyone before you has known this feeling.

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NewCrayons@reddit

My mom passed four months ago, and I find myself in the matriarch position, even though I have an older sister. The way you just described it comforted me. I might have been looking at the situation in the wrong light. Thank you for your wise words. ♥️

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Candygramformrmongo@reddit

I'm sorry for your loss; it's not an easy transition and not one you wanted, I'm sure. My father passed 2 years ago and that outlook felt most authentic and grounded, the cycle of life and family. I'm lucky still have my amazing mum! All the best!

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gatorman98@reddit

My sis calls it the sandwich. We are stuck with the stress of starting to lose our parents while dealing with the stress of raising kids.

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misslam2u2@reddit

My condolences. I'm happy that you are debt free. My mother died in 2014 and my father in 2021. My only sibling is in jail. And very difficult to be around at the best of times I understand feeling very alone. My mother spent (literally 2.8mUSD) millions during her life just keeping my brother out of jail. As soon as her money wasn't available to keep him free, he was back in the slammer. And mad at me for not sending him summer clothes and spending money like he's at summer camp.

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piewhistle@reddit

Shoutout to r/agingparents for insight when my parents were in their final years.

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ZZoMBiEXIII@reddit

I'm right there with you. I just finished the paperwork for mom's cremation over the last couple of days.

She didn't pass on Christmas, she passed on the 7th. But Christmas Eve is kinda the last day I could get any real reaction from her. She stopped eating, stopped talking, she just slept and would ask for her pain pills every few hours. Tragic, but not a surprise. She'd been in decline since dad passed in '22, and after a particularly nasty fall in November, she just wasn't recuperating like she had from her other falls, of which she'd had many.

My dad lost his mom on his birthday. And I had all be resigned myself that I too was going to have the same experience. We signed the hospice paperwork on the 2nd and she was declining fast. I expected she'd last until my birthday and then go. But, as was her way, she proved me wrong and went a couple days before. Needless to say, "happy birthday" wishes were, as you so eloquently said, very bittersweet.

I'm sorry, man. I hope you're doing well in your grief journey. I know exactly what you're going through because I'm literally on the same path. But I'm here with no wife and my kiddo is grown. Otherwise, I could have written this post. We're even almost the same age, although as I mentioned I had a recent birthday which ticked me over to 53 now. Still, I almost cried reading this because it hit so close to home. I hope you're well and I'll pray for your family.

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HowdIGetHere21@reddit

I'm so sorry. My dad passed away on Christmas too. I'm an orphan.

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Guilty-Web7334@reddit

I get it. I lost my last remaining parent at 29. I miss them both, even though they’ve been gone for over 15 years each. :(

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Bob_12_Pack@reddit

I'm 52, lost my mom in 2014, my little brother in December of 2015, and dad in December of 2021, and my best friend in January 2022 . I still have my sister, and my own family (wife +6 kids) but it does seem very lonely sometimes, and Christmas can be difficult. I often feel lonely and isolated but I've come to realize that my support system is still there, it's just been re-staffed. Sending good vibes your way.

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Quiet-Bed-8004@reddit

My mom passed away Oct 9th 2022, my 50th birthday. It’s been so rough. My dad’s gone too. I feel like an orphan.

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MusicalMerlin1973@reddit

Sorry that you’ve gone through that.

You don’t yet know what you will or will not have to leave to your children. None of us do. The best laid plans by those of us reasonably well off can be thrown in disarray by events not of our control.

I still have both of my parents. Dad is… frail. He finally got one knee replaced in his late 70s. He put it off for far too long. The other still needs doing. Who knows what happens in the new administration ( Va benefits). Mom, other than having to be super careful because of osteoporosis is pretty healthy. Her mom made it to her 90s. Mom’s greatest fear is losing her marbles as her mom did. Her dad would have lived longer but smoking kills. Died of double pneumonia could with emphysema. Watching that unfold through my childhood was the nail in the coffin of don’t smoke!

The greatest thing I can leave my kids if possible is our house. We’re super careful to not risk it. I’ve been lucky enough so far to salt away money for retirement. Hopefully I make it without a layoff but as we get older we all know it’s more and more likely. Beyond that, hoping I can hold on to the good job at least long enough to pay for a majority of their post high school schooling. College or trade school. At least set them up so they aren’t starting adulthood under a mountain of debt. I know I’m lucky to be in that position.

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blondydog@reddit

I'm sorry. I lost my dad to cancer early this week and I feel totally lost. It's a huge hole.

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periodicsheep@reddit

i want to send you strength and hope. we lost my father in law a couple years ago and it broke my husband. i don’t want you to wake up one day and realize you’ve lost years. so please, take care of yourself. find some grief counselling as soon as you feel ready. group grief therapy is good, too.

this is going to be, truly, one of the worst things you go through. i’m sending you life and strength. i am truly sorry for your loss.

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blondydog@reddit

Thank you

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exsot@reddit

I had the same experience 8 days ago. Condolences.

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CUcats@reddit

Would both of you accept a cyber hug?

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blondydog@reddit

Sorry man

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UnicornSquash9@reddit

I’m sorry for your loss, but why are you saying your whole support system is gone? You have an entire family around you. You shouldn’t have any guilt about leaving something for your kids; that’s not your job. Grieve, alone or with your family, but don’t check out…some people are actually all alone.

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BaldDudePeekskill@reddit

Exactly. I have no children, one nephew who's in his own world and just my fiance. When I pass away, there'll be no one to mourn me nor possibly bury me. Rejoice that you have children.

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Fuzzy_Strawberry1180@reddit

My mum was in january 23 just after Christmas that lead up to Christmas now is almost depressing

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PhilosophyHefty2237@reddit

Why didn’t you keep a % back in trust for the kids? I understand your want for being debt free, but would your mom have wanted her grand kids to have nothing of her legacy?

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WhiplashMotorbreath@reddit

Sorry for your loss.

Mom passed, a few years ago I didn't get into the mess/war over the "inheritance" . I did learn/see many family members true colours. I found it sad that mom had passed, but sadder the way many in the family acted, Mostly my siblings. How anyone can think they are entitled to someone elses stuff and sue to get it. I just shack my head. It just seems so wrong. I loved my mom, because she was well my mom, I did not care for alot of things she did post divorce . But A child can't tell a parent what to do, how to act, it only ended in an arguement or fight. So, I just let her go off the rails. I loved her ,because mom, but didn't have any respect for her past that . It is sad to say, but I don't really miss her. Mothers day is still hard to deal with now, but can't change that.

Hopefully St. Peter sat her down and explained the errors of her ways, So when the time comes to also be up in the afterlife we can talk without it being I'm mom, I'm right, shut up.

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cavia_porcellus1972@reddit

My mom passed on Halloween. I was 52 also. My condolences on your loss. I inherited a very modest sum. I wish I could have her back though. She was my only family left. Life feels very empty.

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ntengineer@reddit

I'm very sorry you are having to go through this at a young age. I know how you feel. Cancer took my dad when I was 17 and my mom when I was 44.

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NeptuNeo@reddit

My mom died yesterday. Gut wrenching. Dad's been gone almost 20 years. It's surreal. Grateful to be 55+ and have had my Mom until now. It's a new, different world from this point forward.

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palmveach1972@reddit

I was there at 44. I’m 52 now. It’s been a hell of a ride.

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BrightAd306@reddit

I’m so sorry. Put what you were paying to debt into a Roth IRA every month, I like vanguard. Just do a target date fund. Your kids will thank you for having some savings to care for yourself.

Do it before you get used to the extra money.

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oldridingplum@reddit

This. Right now you’re comparing where you are now to where your parents were at the same point in their lives. You need to picture the future you can leave for your kids. Maybe it can’t be a nice nest egg they can use to pay off their own debts. You can pre-pay funeral/last wishes expenses and save to ease the financial burden of future care needs.

Receiving an inheritance from my mom was nice but what was better, in hindsight, was that none of us ever worried we would have to figure out have to pay for her care. I would trade all the money I got if it would have paid for care that kept her with us longer, but cancer is a cold bitch that doesn’t give a fuck about what you want.

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BrightAd306@reddit

Right- OP still has a lot of working life left. Even just saving 10 years would do a lot, let alone 15.

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Ancient_Ad_9373@reddit

Grieving the loss of a mom is so hard. Give yourself time and grace. Honor her memory in little ways every day. Be patient with yourself and ask for help when you need it.

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pumkinut@reddit

My mother died on Jan 3rd. I haven't gotten the coroner's report back yet, apparently that can take a bit. It looks like she might have died from exposure, and it also looks like she may have been in a confused state when it happened.

We had a...strained relationship. I saw her three times last year, her birthday, Thanksgiving, and Christmas Day. The only other times I heard from her was when she needed cash for gas. But she still died cold, alone, and (it looks like) confused. That hurts more than I ever thought it would.

At least she's at peace.

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TeaWithKermit@reddit

I am deeply sorry for your loss. Wishes for your mom to rest easy. Take good care of yourself.

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CUcats@reddit

It's hard. My mom has been gone a little over 10 years and I still think about picking up my phone to call her. Lost my dad 34 years ago when I was 19, which was expected with his health conditions. He was 77 when he died, mom was 88. Both Greatest Generation through and through.

I have older siblings but they are very much boomers, only in contact with one of them. No kids of my own, guess I better start bugging my nieces and nephews more.

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Eastern-Camera-1829@reddit

Nothing like paying everything off and watching your credit rating take a hit because of it.

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QuiJon70@reddit

I seriously get whiplash as quickly as this community seems to jerk between "Fuck are parents they erre horrible and didn't come to my baseball game." And "My parents are dead and now I'm lonely cause they were the ones I could always count on."

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Inessence4@reddit

You’re the support system now. 💜

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TreeWhisper13@reddit

My condolences to you and everyone posting. I never knew that being an adult would be so hard and sad. I lost my brother in 2009, my Mom in 2010, and yesterday was 7 years anniversary of losing my Dad (2018.) The grief still washes over me at times and makes me lose my breath. This morning I started to cry because I miss them so much and I have to deal with that loss for the rest of my life. There’s no safety net anymore. No one to ask for advice or guidance or to bounce ideas off of. It makes life so scary. It’s all on me. I miss my family. I (55y) am married to a wonderful man (60y.) We couldn’t have children. He lost his Dad and brother when he was just 18 years old, his Mom in 1990, and his other brother in 2008. I feel like we are a family of two orphans. I know people in their 60’s and 70’s and their parents are still alive. What a blessing to have them so long. Both our parents had us late in life so we knew we would lose them when we younger. It’s hard. Grief never goes away because the love never goes away.

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Chile_Chowdah@reddit

Sorry for your loss, my mom passed in November and my dad's been gone for twenty years. It sucks being in the no parents club.

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Training_Pipe_3660@reddit

My friend’s Mom just passed away on Christmas Day. I’d known him and his sister and their Mom since I was about 14. He was about 3 yrs older than me and my first love. I keep thinking about how hard it must have been that she passed on Christmas. I’m sorry for your loss and theirs. My heart goes out to you. ❤️

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feder_online@reddit

Lost my wife Thanksgiving 2023...my dad passed a couple months before, but I missed his funeral taking care of my wife.

My cousin cares for my mom because I just can't. When Mom is gone, there me and my cousin...

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BlueAndMoreBlue@reddit

It’s cold comfort but at least you have someone to help.

A good buddy of mine just worked through something similar and my parents are 84 and 88 so I’m gonna be working through it too before too long

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RidiculousSucculent@reddit

Wow, it seems I’ve found my people. I’m 55 and caring for my dying grandmother. My mom passed in early 2019. My grandfather, who was my father figure, passed in 2003. When grandma is gone, likely this year, then that’s it. I have no kids, am not married only child. I’ve made more friends and have developed some hobbies. It’s going to be really weird that everyone I grew up with will be gone.

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Icy-Print3432@reddit

I’m so sorry. Lost my mom two years ago. Still struggling. Sending love to you. 🫂

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siamesecat1935@reddit

I’m so sorry. I lost my dad on Christmas in 2007, so i get it.

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HewDewed@reddit

r/grief

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DeeKayEmm412@reddit

My mom passed away Christmas Day when I was 19 years old. She was my biggest champion. We were very close. The holidays have never been the same and if I didn’t have kids I wouldn’t celebrate. My father died when I was 33. I’ve been an orphan for a long time. lol The sadness is still there, the edges are smoother though. I’ve created a support system through my kids and with friends of all ages. I’ve done my best to be the support for the people I care about. I think it’s normal to feel adrift at a time like this. Your new support system will never replace what you had, but it will grow. I’m so sorry for your loss.

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butterscotch-magic@reddit

Grief has its own time table, and this is still so new for you. Everything you’re feeling is valid; give yourself grace and take care of yourself right now.

Being debt free is amazing. You are still young and can build on that to create a cozy nest egg and have something for you kids down the road.

But first, rest. Grieve. Breathe.

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BlueAndMoreBlue@reddit

I’ll add that you should grieve on your own terms and not those of others

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DepartmentNatural@reddit

It sucks growing up

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Wild_Frosting_5353@reddit

It sure does

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blairandherbody@reddit

Hey there, juggling joy and sorrow like a wacky circus act sending a big virtual hug your way while doing the cha-cha in my living room, because who doesn't need a little kindness and zaniness in the mix?

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BlueAndMoreBlue@reddit

The best way to approach it — find joy where you can and don’t let the sorrows drag you down

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One_Highlight_7051@reddit

Sorry for your loss. Lost my mom's last July. She taught me that I don't need anyone in my life but God.

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West-Rice6814@reddit

Thia is going to become a more and more common story over the next decade, and not a single thing is going to be done to change it. We are headed for a dystopian future.

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Lupi_y@reddit

I lost my mom, then my dad died 50 Days later in 2018. At age 42, I became the matriarch of my side of the family. I feel for you, OP. Nothing prepares you for this moment. You're blessed they were able to leave an inheritance.

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dstarpro@reddit

I'm so sorry.

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XTingleInTheDingleX@reddit

I’m sorry man. I’m 47 and just have my mom left. My sister was diagnosed with cancer a couple days before Christmas.

My dad passed about 5-6 years ago.

I know how you are feeling minus the debt free part. Hang in there internet stranger. I’m sending some love your way.

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reb6@reddit

Nothing makes you feel like an adult like a parent passing away. I’m so sorry for your loss, OP

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ReTrOGurle@reddit

I'm so sorry. It's an awful club to join and it is part of getting older. 😕

Let yourself grieve, it is different each time and there is no time frame for it.

I have compounded grief, in layers.

I lost my Dad in 2018 (old age he was 91.5) My oldest sister in 2021 she was 68 My brother end of 2023 colon cancer 60 My sister this Jan 2 from complications from Breast Cancer (bilateral mastectomy) 59/60

What's really fuct up is my sister that passed on Jan 2, that was my oldest sister's birthday Jan 2. Her birthday was Jan 5, so instead of turning 60, she died 3 days prior.

My brother that died in 23, his birthday was Jan 7th. The first week of January absolutely sucks. I was closest with him and had no relationship with my oldest sister (she was 17 years older) and the other estranged herself 7 years ago. I don't know how to process either one.

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