Did we miss out on hating our spouses?
Posted by Risikio@reddit | Xennials | View on Reddit | 423 comments
Something I just noticed is that the humor of our generation never really revolved around hating our spouses. Like for the Boomers and to a lesser part Gen X the theme of "I hate my wife" was a comedic trope. But I don't recall seeing it much as I aged and our demographic became the target audience for comedies.
Am I wrong in seeing this, or did our generation view what relationships should be in a healthier light?
Ok_I_Guess_Whatever@reddit
We got divorced
InconvenientGroot@reddit
I married for religion, and now I'm divorced and living my best life. Class of '97.
pilates_mama@reddit
Was gonna say i think we just.. mostly all got divorced instead of hating our spouses forever š¤·š»āāļø
ObiWanKnieval@reddit
It's a very old stand-up tradition. Like, pre-boomer. Boomers were the first generation who had the option of getting a divorce without being shunned by the community. The generations before them were stuck with partners they met in 10th grade.
Nice_Improvement2536@reddit
Thankfully I think a lot of us saw our parents stuck in loveless marriages and married for love. Like, we married people we actually like. 15 years in for me and my wife and itās working out great so far! š
JoneyBaloneyPony@reddit
A lot of us decided to not marry at all.
jtho78@reddit
There was also a lot of pressure to marry and start a family at a young age.
CaptPotter47@reddit
And a lot more acceptance to divorce honestly. This about it. People married in the 50s and 60s were stuck together forever. The wife typically didnāt work, the husband had this sense of manliness tied to being a married and having kids and so they both put up with each other until they were old and had no where else to turn.
CapOnFoam@reddit
Women often COULDNāT leave because of divorce laws (no such thing as no-fault) and/or legal inability to have financial independence until the 70s. No credit cards, no loans, no property ownership without a man.
We were basically treated like children / property.
I am so glad I was born no earlier than I was.
MNFuturist@reddit
Oklahoma trying to drag us back. ā
"The only way a divorce would be granted is if a spouse can prove abandonment of at least a year, or abuse, or adultery."
https://kfor.com/news/oklahoma-legislature/marriage-and-child-incentive-bills-look-to-curve-divorce-rate/
WaffleDonkey23@reddit
Whenever I hear about Oklahoma or Alabama it's basically interchangeable with Taliban mindsets.
CapOnFoam@reddit
How does one prove emotional abuse I wonderā¦ does living in Oklahoma count?
DudeEngineer@reddit
One of the major problems with defining emotional abuse is that it would create some really uncomfortable conversations around gender.
Stop_icant@reddit
So 11 months of abandonment is cool?
simonjp@reddit
Yeah just check in once a year, just before the anniversary. Perfect.
IamHydrogenMike@reddit
A lot more women are financially independent now than they used to be, and people don't treat you like a total failure if you get divorced like they used to. People marrying for love wasn't as common either, they married out of necessity than people do now.
xtlhogciao@reddit
My momās side are Irish Catholics, and I only fairly recently learned that my grandmother or grandfatherās sister, who I never actually met, apparently lived the second half of her life (age 40 or 50 to 80 or 90, whatever) with her boyfriend in Wisconsinā¦while her husband lived in Chicago.
Me: āWhy didnāt they just get a divorce?ā
Mom: āBc they considered divorce much worse.ā
Ftw_55@reddit
Ain't no crazy like catholic cult crazy.
Recovering cult member here.
alfamale_@reddit
I remember a priest telling my aunt, when she went for advice on a possibile divorce: i could absolve you for killing him, but not for divorcing him.
The difference, it transpires, is that the former is a singular sin, for which you can repent, while the latter is an on-going state of sin, which by its nature (on-going, not changing), cannot be forgiven.
That's some kinda petty from an all powerful being if you ask me!
ForceGhost47@reddit
See, the Jesus I pray to would never condone that shit. People ruin spirituality
nojob4acowboy@reddit
Jesus gave guidance in divorce, and he said adultry was a reason for divorce and didnāt leave it closed to other reasons. Do Catholics even Jesus a little?
ForceGhost47@reddit
Iām not Catholic anymore
Indubitalist@reddit
Pretty wild that he basically said if itās not worth murdering him over, itās not worth divorcing him over.Ā
yafashulamit@reddit
Hahahahahaha
Legitimate-Produce-1@reddit
I don't know man, seems to me that snuffing out a whole person is an ongoing event in that that person doesn't exist anymore.
catforbrains@reddit
Yeah. My MIL kicked her husband out at like 40 and never divorced him because that would be a sin as a Catholic. She was so happy when he died young from a chronic illness because she got rid of him "the right way" and can tell all her religious friends she's a widow.
Hopper-bayonet@reddit
Those are the types of sins Jesus died for. ;)
Dark-Empath-@reddit
Great to see some forms of bigotry are still acceptable
PresidentTroyAikman@reddit
Being religious is a choice, not something youāre born with. Religion is a virus.
Dark-Empath-@reddit
Why? Because you say so. Atheism is a religion too, although you will be at pains to protest otherwise no doubt. Reformed atheist here btw. Good luck on your growth journey š
PresidentTroyAikman@reddit
Atheism is not a religion. Quite the opposite.
Your copes funny. Enjoy your mythology!
dabeeman@reddit
do you feel that way about islam?
Dark-Empath-@reddit
Feel what way?
ewileycoy@reddit
Lol tradcath spotted
anansi52@reddit
i mean if you don't plan to stay married, why get married in the first place? if you feel like its cool to get a divorce for whatever just don't say the vows or change them to something else. "till i feel unhappy do us part" or something like that.
Matt-J-McCormack@reddit
I will never forget my Uncles funeral where the Priest told everyone my Dad was now alone in the world. Apparently non catholic family donāt count.
RoyalPuzzleheaded259@reddit
Congratulations on getting out.
Millimede@reddit
My grandpa just had a mistress and stayed with my grandma. She knew, but after she had my dad she refused sex anymore so he had a long time girlfriend and she didnāt care.
RingCard@reddit
The divorce rate skyrocketed in the 70ās, and I think it was largely driven by people who got married in the 50ās & 60ās, then got FOMO for the sexual revolution. So while 50s/60s people did get married in a culture where divorce was less common, it didnāt end up working out that way for a lot of them.
Quick-Angle9562@reddit
Since wide scale divorce was a fairly new idea in the 70s and 80s, it may not have been realized the full effects and often negative impacts. Damage to financials, impact to children, shady lawyers, the pain in the ass of taking the kids back and forth, etc.
Our generation may have learned something from this. Divorce is no picnic - so marry someone you actually like, then make at least some effort to repair the marriage if you hit a rough spot along the way.
theguineapigssong@reddit
Divorce was pretty hard to get until about 1970. Before no-fault became the norm, one of the spouses usually got wrecked financially. Men especially were in situations where it was "cheaper to keep her" rather than pay alimony for life. So there were tons of people stuck in miserable marriages.
AZ-Rob@reddit
I think this is the biggest factor.
Previous generations were expected to marry young, start a family young, and do all of that without having pre-marital sex or living together.
Our generation realized that that was dumb AF.
BabyJesusBukkake@reddit
I've taught my 3 to never make big life decisions without making sure you're as informed about it as you possibly can be.
Don't buy a new car without a test drive, or a used one without a mechanical inspection.
Don't buy a house without going inside and having it inspected top to bottom.
And don't marry someone without living with them first, preferably a year-long lease.
WeirdCaterpillar6736@reddit
My boomer parents never lived together before getting married and they hate each other, but my mom has no financial independence and my parents are strict Catholics so they're willfully stuck with each other.
Your comment about not buying a car without a test drive hit me like a brick. My dad NEVER test drives cars. Ever. If he needs a new car, he'll just buy whichever one he can afford that's the most convenient. Him and my mom got married less than a year after they met. They do no research on any big purchases (including their current house... They just bought the first new construction the realtor showed them without thinking twice about schools, the neighborhood, etc.). It's all indicative of their boomer mindset and so, so baffling.
flonkhonkers@reddit
Getting married at 21 is going to have consequences.
Harlander77@reddit
21? That old?
jtho78@reddit
Yeah, we're entirely different people at 30 compared to 20. It's a gamble or a lot of work for a couple to maintain their compatibility over that time.
DuskformGreenman@reddit
Or the Midwest Christian kids just wanting to bang so they get married at 18, get that post nut clarity and realize what a mistake they made. Happened with half the people I graduated with. To each their own, I guess.
OhGawDuhhh@reddit
I became a dad at 35. Best thing I ever did, even though I'm sad I cut into time with my kid due to that choice.
Key-Shift5076@reddit
I became a mom at 24. Believe me, on the other end of the spectrum I wish I couldāve offered more financial stability and focused more on my kid rather than struggling to survive and having that constant distraction. I feel like I wouldāve enjoyed raising a kid more a decade laterābut heās in college now and Iām focusing on my next set of goals. What I mean to say is that we can second guess ourselves but life works out anyway.
RinaLue@reddit
This. My mom stayed in an abusive marriage "for the kids." My bf and I had only been together a few months when I got pregnant. We were also teenagers. When i told him, he said, "Should we get married?" I said no. I wanted to wait until I felt that we really wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and weren't just doing it because we had a kid. After a couple years, I could see being with him for the rest of my life. In May, we'll be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary.
AlchemistMustang@reddit
Congrats! 10 years for me and my wife today!
PrismInTheDark@reddit
Iād say itās partly this and partly (especially more for a few of us who actually had happily married parents) we heard those ājokesā and decided theyāre stupid and not funny, and chose to find the right person (staying single until then) and not make those dumb jokes. I never understood the point of being married to someone you constantly complain about and put down, or someone who does that to you. Youāre not supposed to marry someone you hate.
I get that divorce didnāt used to be easy to get and there was more pressure to be married; but thatās different now so thereās not much reason for us to be like that.
TaimSolas@reddit
This is it exactly.
hopeful_tatertot@reddit
This is spot on. I saw my parents tolerate each other until they didnāt and got a divorce. I get to use the popular phrase āI married my best friendā
Flashy-Share8186@reddit
Or just didnāt get married.
Nevergreeen@reddit
I once had to explain, very awkwardly, to my dad that the reason I never got sought out marriage was because I never saw a positive married relationship when I was a kid.Ā
He had NO IDEA I was insulting him.Ā
He treated his wife and kids like he owned us and we existed only to obey him. Ā Thank freaking god women can earn our own money now and have bank accounts and rent/own places to live.Ā
The ball-and-chain jokes must have been a coping mechanism. Everything feels like it's going to shit in the world but I would never ave wanted to live in an earlier time period. Not for all the money in the world.Ā
Indubitalist@reddit
Could just want to live in an earlier society that treated women better. There were quite a few.Ā
Nice_Improvement2536@reddit
That too! If I hadnāt met my wife I most likely would never have gotten married.
jbenagain@reddit
Fuck, if I hadnāt met mine, Iād be dead or in prison.
skryb@reddit
same
lurkylurkeroo@reddit
Obligatory:
"I, too, choose this man's wife."
Ok_Rush_4972@reddit
Feel the same way I have been happily married for a little over 10 years and we just welcome are first child this year.
HeavySkinz@reddit
Yeah I remember my dad telling me that marriage is work. I was just like "what? Why?" I've been married 12 years now and it is not working you marry someone you love and also like living with.
Ginger_Snaps_Back@reddit
My momās advice to us girls was ānever get married, and never have kids, both will ruin your life. But if you do get married, marry for money, because love doesnāt last,ā
Thank, mom.
Ans she wonders why all of her kids are low/no contact.
Secret_Elevator17@reddit
This.
I think my parents love each other but I don't think they've liked each other much for years. They both make small comments under their breath to belittle the other, usually not so quiet that they can't hear each other though. This also spills out and is sometimes amplified because my dad does it in front of extended family.
They just can't be nice to each other anymore.
My mom doesn't have great health and my father thinks she shouldn't need any medicine that she just needs to start working out and it will fix everything.
I have to drive over 2 hours and take off work to bring her to her doctor's appointment because he can't just bring her and not comment on this or other health issues like her not eating healthy multiple times at the appointment and in the car.
They are in their 70s. She knows she should be healthier but him telling her that multiple times a day doesn't help and makes her feel like he blames her for things like her arthritis.
It's just sad and it makes me sad and frustrated.
It also made me appreciate the easy relaxed companion vibe my husband and I have. We are both pretty independent people but we are also in this together.
darcys_beard@reddit
I was on that track but my undiagnosed neurodiversity fucked it up.
SignoreBanana@reddit
My wife is my best friend. I don't know why anyone would do it any differently.
Ejacksin@reddit
Same. It just keeps getting better!
ElleWinter@reddit
I agree, I think we chose more wisely. People we like and actually get along with. As a group, we got married older than our parents, so perhaps we got some of the bad choices out of the way before actually getting married.
With four divorces between both my parents, I had no idea marriage could be positive. I am shocked at how pleasant my marriage is. I feel really very grateful.
Congrats on 15 years and still liking each other. š„°
peritonlogon@reddit
I think most of us never really remember our parents being married. I mostly remember my dad not understanding why my mom divorced him, and when I was a late teen my mom told me that she wanted to do marriage counseling, and my dad said he was happy and didn't think they needed it.
chocochocochococat@reddit
Exactly.
Dazzlingskeezer@reddit
Your generation missed out on humor period.
WaffleDonkey23@reddit
Boomer marriage reasons are wild "Well he was 40 and I was 14 and he'd sneak into my school every day and demand I marry him, so my father made me marry him."
"I wanted to marry this other man I dated for 4 years, but he asked me first and I didn't want to make him feel bad."
"Well yes technically my cousin, but our dad's where good friends"
taleofbenji@reddit
The rise of no-fault divorce, which was only in the 70s and 80s changed all that. You were literally trapped unless you could prove abuse or adultery!!!
Now, if you hate your spouse, get another one!
seffend@reddit
My dad once testified on a friend's behalf that there was abuse in the marriage because they needed "proof" to dissolve the marriage in the 70s.
ProsodyProgressive@reddit
Pretty sure Oklahoma is trying to start this up again.š¤¬
wooq@reddit
Not just Oklahoma
MiniRems@reddit
"Why aren't people getting married?" They'll be asking in the future...
AshamedLeg4337@reddit
Theyāre trying to make counseling mandatory prior to dissolution of the marriage.
ninjette847@reddit
Which is extremely dangerous if one person is abusive. It's recommended not to go to counseling with an abusive partner because all it does is teach them manipulation tactics.
AshamedLeg4337@reddit
Itās only if you sign up for a covenant marriage which is the optional variant form of marriage that the bill in question introduces. You have to hop through extra steps like a signed statement of intent in order to get the super deluxe canāt get out of it form.
And hereās the bit. Even for that super special religious form of marriage, abuse by itself is a valid reason for granting a divorce without counseling.Ā
Honestly, Iām on a he left, but the uninformed histrionics from my own side get tiresome after a while.
MistressVelmaDarling@reddit
Proving abuse is the difficulty in those situations.
And being forced to attend counseling with an abusive spouse ups the danger.
And leaving an abusive spouse is the most dangerous time for abuse victims.
AshamedLeg4337@reddit
Well it sounds like they shouldnāt jump through the extra hoops for the upgrade marriage package which sole fucking advantage is that itās more difficult to get out of.
Like. Just donāt opt for that one? Use the normal marriage that carries all of the same privileges and significantly fewer obligations?Ā
MistressVelmaDarling@reddit
You think an abusive situation where one spouse is pushing to put more restrictions on leaving the relationship is non-existent? That the abuse only starts when marriage starts?
There shouldn't be ANY extra hoops to jump through to leave a relationship. It's already very difficult to leave and this will keep people trapped even longer.
AshamedLeg4337@reddit
Asinine take considering that it could be applied to any consensual contract. āWhy even allow normal marriage that requires court approval for dissolution,ā you breathlessly scream, āwhen any hoops whatsoever are too much in the case of a victim of abuse?!?ā
You see that, right? How ridiculous this gambit is?
MistressVelmaDarling@reddit
A lot of husbands died of poisoning before no-fault divorce was introduced. And a lot of women died of suicide.
You're underestimating how difficult it can be to leave an abusive marriage.
kang4president@reddit
Why not make premarital counseling mandatory instead?
AshamedLeg4337@reddit
They donāt require it, but they do incentivize it by reducing the marriage license fee by 90% it looks like. Also, you have to opt in to a stricter ācovenant marriageā to trigger the divorce marriage counseling.Ā
Any other quips?Ā
kang4president@reddit
It wasn't a quip, just a genuine question. I had to do catholic premarital counseling, hated the religious aspect of it but I can see it being beneficial.
bluemitersaw@reddit
I lived in OK for 5 yrs, ya that tracks.
graceful_mango@reddit
Well. We may be going back to that. So yipppeee for the younger gens.
Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit
? Do you have a source for that? (genuine curious, as I've not heard such in the industry)
seffend@reddit
I believe they're referring to Project 2025 which, account other things, aims to end no fault divorce.
Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit
Good grief. Thank you muchly for the answer.
rels83@reddit
Look at the states trying to pass covenant marriages
Impossible_Stomach26@reddit
Which industry?
rels83@reddit
My dad and his ex wife said that the therapy my dad was doing constituted cheating so they would be allowed to divorce. They were fairly amicable about it and one for the first cases of shared custody in the state. But they needed a āreasonā or they couldnāt divorce
taleofbenji@reddit
That'd be tough for me. I got no game.
rels83@reddit
Are you suggesting my dad has game? Because unless that game is dungeons and dragons, youād be wrong. I donāt know if it was the judge being like just give me a reason to write down, or wow heās talking about his feelings in a group? What a freak divorce granted
Ktibbs617@reddit
Can confirm. My mom married a schizophrenic abuser in 1969 and when she went to her priest for help he very much told her āwelp, you married himā. She left the man and the religion, found my dad and they were married 44yrs. They never joked about hating one another.
willworkforwatches@reddit
Itās true. It worked for me!
taleofbenji@reddit
Congrats.Ā
Otherwise_Piglet_862@reddit
Based on the number of people that get divorced, I'd say spouse hating is alive and flourishing.
AspiringRver@reddit
I went to a 90 min comedic routine centered on boomer humor targeted to a male audience. I didn't know that before going in. Let's just say it was eye-opening.
I, for one, am glad that most of society has moved on.
vicariousgluten@reddit
Let me guess. It began with a variation of āno oneās allowed to tell jokes anymoreā followed by misogyny, homophobia and āitās not racist because I like themā jokes?
Got dragged to one by my dad recently.
AspiringRver@reddit
Actually, it was a comedic routine performed by boomer Star Trek actors at a Star Trek convention. I was surprised because it was well reviewed on some chat forum. After the show, I looked for mention of it on Reddit and people here had
Key-Shift5076@reddit
God, I hate hearing that political correctness has ruined comedy. No, itās just that punching down was never fucking funny.
Threetimes3@reddit
I guarantee youāve laughed at many jokes that āpunch downā but they punch at people you donāt care aboutĀ
bluemitersaw@reddit
It was funny for the people at the top doing the punching!!!!!!
allthesamejacketl@reddit
Eye closening please, I canāt believe this shit still has legs.
SecretNature@reddit
It is leg closing as well. Who wants to date a guy that thinks thatās funny?
Falkens_Maze2@reddit
A voyager fanš
CitizenCue@reddit
It shocks me that this still survives. In heavily white & male spaces (online & IRL) it has still been passed down to GenX & Millennials. Itās sad to see someone still in the prime of their lives joke about how wives are the death of fun.
TheFoxsWeddingTarot@reddit
As a genX who loves their wife I suspect it has a lot to do with people getting married in their Early 20s and expecting it to last into their 90s. I got married at 30 which for a guy is after the brain development phase.
Anonymoushipopotomus@reddit
I married my wife 13 years later than my parents, I was 35, had an established business, and we were ready for marriage and our son on the way. My parents got together at 16, married at 22, and had 4 kids by 35. How could you possibly know someone that well enough to marry them when youre not even fully grown? And, as usual, parents fight, mom threatened to leave multiple times for being overworked with all of the household chores, and then had to go back to work when the reality of our loss in income became apparent in the mid 90s. So she further resented my father, and he still hasnt changed, so he still walks all over her. She couldnt handle retirement home with him so she went back to work part time lol. My wife and son are my best friends, and I can never imagine treating her like my dad treated mom.
sleeki@reddit
The phrase "ready for marriage" here got me wondering if that's a relatively new concept as well, and when it started coming into play. I imagine that "ready for marriage" in, say, the 19th century might have meant a man being able to support a household.
Anonymoushipopotomus@reddit
I personally feel that living together beforehand really shows what life would be like together. If people are lucky enough to find that, the few years or so they live together before marrying can help them develop their future together also.
big_z_0725@reddit
I got divorced about 7 years ago. I was never enthusiastic about marrying her, but allowed myself to be pressured into it (not from a pregnancy though, we never had kids).
Towards the end, I really started to resent her. But I never made any outwardly unhappy comments about it to anybody, neither snide nor sincere. I wasn't some dumb, naive kid when we got married; I was over 30. I own that decision. If I had snarked about my marriage it would have been more of a statement about me than her. Plus, divorce really isn't looked at as poorly as it was even back in the Al Bundy days, so going all NO MA'AM about her would have inevitably led to "dude, just get a divorce" from my friends and family.
aj534451@reddit
Ahhhh good ole National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood
Crafty-Gain-6542@reddit
Itās not all rainbows and butterflies for us. Itās mostly good though. Weāve been together 15 years and married 2 in February (no we did not get married on v-day). I donāt talk badly about her anywhere and never have. Who does that kind thing? Arenāt we in this together? I remember my dad talking shit about my mom and vice versa and wondering why they didnāt end it sooner if they really hated each other that much.
I will add Iāve questioned some arguments weāve had when talking to my therapist, but Iāve never said anything negative about her even in that setting. Maybe it was just a boomer thing?
DrewBaron80@reddit
Married, With Children was extremely popular when we were kids/teenagers.
11229988B@reddit
I always thought it was so weird that they didn't like each other.
they-walk-among-us@reddit
And that Al never wanted sex.
idio242@reddit
He didnt want sex with Peg. But he wanted sex.
One-Rip2593@reddit
Which honestly is quite insane
idio242@reddit
She nags and derides him at every opportunity. Sure, she looked great for 1985 but sheās only eye candy for anyone who doesnāt know her.
SmellyFloralCouch@reddit
āAl, letās have sex.ā
āEhh, no Peg.ā *flushes toilet, crowd cheers
/simpsons
donutseason@reddit
I will say my dad loved this Sunday night lineup and my mom absolutely hated it š¤£š¤£š¤£ then again theyāre not xennials š
Usual_Dream1701@reddit
My mother hated it so much she had a fit if anyone turned it on
dcowboy@reddit
Yeah, my dad had to go upstairs and watch Married With Children in my parents' bedroom when it would come on. Not sure what that was supposed to accomplish, I'd just leave the family room as well and watch it on the TV in the den or the one in my room I got from a yard sale (BW, rabbit ears, but better than nothing).
mercyful_fade@reddit
Me too. Wouldn't let us watch the Simpsons.
WalmartGreder@reddit
Same! Also any MTV programming like Beavis and Butthead.
Which I get as a parent now. I also woudn't want my kids to watch that.
mercyful_fade@reddit
Same same
SmellyFloralCouch@reddit
Sounds like my mom, though I'd catch her trying not to laugh occasionally when she was within earshot...
11229988B@reddit
Right!!!
KelseyOpso@reddit
I have seen a few posts like this. Peggy was awful. She was physically attractive but she was a crappy wife and a life sucker. I totally get why other guys thought she was hot and Al couldnāt stand her. She is the epitome of ātake my wife please.ā That marriage sucked. He was miserable and she was insufferable.
mottledmussel@reddit
That's something that seems to be forgotten whenever the subject of how unrealistic the old sitcom trope of a hot wife married to an immature (often slob) of a husband is.
Those hot wives were often incredibly unpleasant people, too. King of Queens immediately comes to mind.
11229988B@reddit
I'm talking about when i was young and couldn't wrap my head around it. Young me just thought love each other or get divorced.
KelseyOpso@reddit
Got ya. When I was 15 I also thought Peggy was a MILF and Al was an idiot. Now, hearing people defend her is like when people defend Don Draper. Yeah, youāre attractive, and when youāre pushed you make nice gestures. But you are a shitty spouse and your SO is right to detest you.
Sunnysunflowers1112@reddit
Al didn't want sex with Peggy, but would with others (strip club) but yet wouldn't cheat on Peggy
FreedomSquatch@reddit
Thatās right, Al had morals.
WoodenWeather5931@reddit
from her
ennuiismymiddlename@reddit
Nowadays we call that ādepressionā.
foolishmoor@reddit
Especially with Katy Sagal
NotRadTrad05@reddit
Maybe they didn't like each other, but they loved each other and were ready to go to war for their family. Stress kills T levels explaining Al's lack of drive. He worked a job he hated every day to provide for his family. Plus he scored 4 touchdowns in a single game.
dndhdhdjdjd382737383@reddit
What the fucking hell is this trend was saying tea instead of testosterone? It's not an obscene word.
firesmarter@reddit
This is my first time encountering it myself n the wild. Where are you that people are talking about testosterone so much? If I had to guess they arenāt censoring themselves, just a type of shorthand
breeezyc@reddit
In Canada we are inundated with commercials and ads about a condition in men over 40 called Low T.
humdrumturducken@reddit
We had those in the US too. That's absolutely where the shift from "testosterone" to "T" came from. As to why it stuck? Who knows, could just be because it is faster & easier to say.
breeezyc@reddit
Ok, I totally think thatās what happened!!!! So itās a US and Canada thing. It is much easier to say and write and everyone knows what youāre talking about
Plane_Chance863@reddit
We are?
breeezyc@reddit
They might not be on anymore, but they were Nugenix. If you had cable you saw them. On repeat. Not sure if they were US or Canadian commercials
idio242@reddit
gotta be US, as i think it's us and NZ that are the only countries with ads for pharmaceuticals.
breeezyc@reddit
We are get ads for pharmaceuticals all the time In Canada. The laws are different surrounding them though. They canāt said what the drug is for AND the name in the same commercial. Example. Man is showing waking up next to wife in bed then is showing dancing his way around the house and to work with happy music playing. āAsk your doctor if Cialis is right for you.ā Or, āis ED getting you down? There are treatments. Talk to your doctor today.ā
Plane_Chance863@reddit
Ah, I can't remember when I last had cable... It's been a really long time. Before 2008 maybe?
JesusWouldGetVaxed@reddit
Flute Flakes
dndhdhdjdjd382737383@reddit
I know, it's ridiculous.
Solid_Horse_5896@reddit
Part of the whole "men aren't men anymore" marketing tactic
disdain7@reddit
Whoa calm down there! Not all of us are comfortable discussing t*stosterone so openly.
dndhdhdjdjd382737383@reddit
Lol
episcoqueer37@reddit
I think it's a combo.
On one hand, using the term T in the trans community is using code - for a long time, if cis folks heard "I picked up my T today," it could fly under their radar. A safety thing, basically. Also, "testosterone" gets clunky really quick.
The other side is medicalization of fragile masculinity. It's creating a buffer for men so they can say "yes, I think my hormone levels are impacting my quality of life" without saying "I have less of a hormone that society says makes me a man and I need help correcting that."
NotRadTrad05@reddit
It's easier to type on my phone
ForceGhost47@reddit
Polk High!
CitizenCue@reddit
Yeah the show never made sense to me. I know it has a following and a lot of it is meant as satire, but it felt so negative and mean.
de-milo@reddit
i couldnāt stand that show because of how rude they all were to each other. i mean my family was rude to each other but sarcastically š
11229988B@reddit
I didn't like the show much. But we only had pbs,nbc,abc,cbs, and fox and my dad usually decided what was on so sometimes i watched things i didn't care about.
whinniethepony@reddit
I never liked that show. It didn't make sense to me, none of the jokes were funny, and I thought everyone in it was a jerk. I was more of a Roseanne house. Blue collar dad, economic instability, parents loved each other, 3 smart aleck kids, actual storylines and character development (excepting the whole "it was all a dream" post-lottery fiasco). I still have a crush on John Goodman.
DrewBaron80@reddit
I liked married with children when I was a kid, but a few years ago I watched an episode and found it to be really off-putting. I enjoy all sorts of raunchy humor, but the show was just kind of dumb and mean spirited.
dondegroovily@reddit
That show was late 80s, early 90s, Al and Peggy were boomers, and so was the target audience at the time
mjc4y@reddit
Yes !
and before that was the Honeymooners.
Comedic threats of domestic violence wasnāt just a thing for that show, it was the catchphrase for the main character : āone of these days, Alice, boom! Right to the moon!ā(swinging arm and balled fist). Cue laugh track.
(
Revolutionary-Ad3648@reddit
That and Roseanne gave many fears of raising shitheads?
idio242@reddit
the first 5 seasons of that show really hold up. i watched a few halloween episodes this year and we wound up just watching the entire series. the end is a trainwreck, but its still kinda fun. the post 90's stuff - not interested.
allthesamejacketl@reddit
Hey, the Connor kids are all right.
bakedveldtland@reddit
Iām surprised at how many people here didnāt like that show! I just rewatched some episodes and laughed pretty hard at some bits. The cast is great and that sense of humor lines up with mine. Itās Always Sunny vibes. Personally Iām more turned off by corny sitcoms- although I did live Full House back in the day.
GordEisengrim@reddit
Everyone Loves Raymond made me ill to watch, I couldnāt understand why everyone loved it so much.
tmanarl@reddit
Couldnāt change the channel fast enough when I heard that Sinatra song start as a kid.
raff_riff@reddit
Yeah but so was Step-by-Step, The Simpson, Family Matters, the Cosby Show, and Fresh Prince, all of which, if Iām recalling correctly, featured loving, compatible marriages.
Ethel_Marie@reddit
I didn't think any of those relationships really existed. Everyone is secretly angry, depressed, and +/or miserable. Money made it better but not perfect.
MsJenX@reddit
Could it be were they Gen X or Boomers?
scrotanimus@reddit
Archie Bunker paved the way for Bundy. Bundy was funnier.
glowe@reddit
Fact - but answers nothing.
ThomYum@reddit
My brothers and I all thought that show sucked
Kind_Literature_5409@reddit
I love my husband.. but I wish I would have never married him. We are very opposite of each other and donāt spend much time together. We basically just a married couple who live together.
horrorgeek112@reddit
Millenial here. Seeing my boomer relatives openly talk crap about their spouses often in front of their kids was just always disturbing and borderline creepy to me. It's something I'm glad didn't carry over
ChemicalNo8609@reddit
Heterofatalism
William_Redmond@reddit
I kinda hated mine. She was abusive and isolating and a cheater. Now weāre divorced and I realize I donāt hate her, just hated being married to her.
Barnitch@reddit
Check out r/boomerhumour. Itās all those unfunny, wife = bad jokes and comic strips that they eat up. I can only look at a few without rolling my eyes dramatically.
kronik419@reddit
Divorce became too common.
ArashikageX@reddit
āTake my wife, please!!! Ah ah ah ah ah ahā Never understood it
UptightSinclair@reddit
OK, but because of the āah ah ahā my brain read this in the voice of this guy, and I think it improved the joke!
ArashikageX@reddit
Thatās exactly what I was going for!
Glittering_Let_4230@reddit
Rodney Dangerfield was his own animal.
Funkopedia@reddit
That's at least as much a grammar joke as a wife joke
Kooky_Ad_9684@reddit
The married relationship trope in comedies changed to just a dopey, incompetent husband. With the comedies that revolve around married couples (Home Improvement, King of Queens, Everybody Loves Raymond, Modern Family), the formula is now a sloppy, stupid husband with a together, smart and capable wife.Ā
I don't know if that's a healthier light, or reflective of this generation, but that's what I've observed.Ā
JETEXAS@reddit
It got a lot easier and more accepted to get a divorce.
Ok-Reflection-6207@reddit
I am mad at my husband sometimes, but I donāt think Iāve ever hated him.
cardboardunderwear@reddit
I think some way of looking at it is families have strife but they always come together. All in the Family, Simpsons, Married with Children, 70s show.
Its a trope yes but not always a bad one. Marriage isn't always peaches and cream. But like with everything its on a spectrum....not absolute.
Astute_Primate@reddit
I think a lot of them married out of a sense of obligation. Getting married is just what you do. What you want doesn't factor into it. So they picked the first person they could tolerate rather than wait for someone who they are actually compatible with. They also got married really young. 21 or 22 was pretty common. My parents got married at 19. There's a huge amount of personal growth and change that happens in one's 20's, and by the time they were in their 30's the person they married was no longer the person they were with, but they were stuck with them. And divorce is an admission of failure. In their minds, failure wasn't an option.
Millennials were the first generation to have the option to truly marry on their own terms, so I think we will be happier on the whole as we age together with our partners.
d00mslinger@reddit
We haven't hung out. My spouse makes my life miserable and joking about it is one way to combat the stress.
MN_Verified_User@reddit
Just get divorced faster nowā¦.
louiselebeau@reddit
I'm single by choice. I date terrible people and can't seem to do better. So I'm just gonna be single.
You don't have to buy a pig if you just want some sausage.
w3bd3v0p5@reddit
I'm glad you recognize that. Some of my wife's friends have recently gone through divorce. One was smart and said "I need to figure out who I am before I let another serious relationship into my life", and the other has been bouncing from guy to guy and being like "Oh he's perfect", then fast forward 3 weeks later and his ass is dumped, rinse and repeat. To be fair the later woman, he childhood was absolutely fucked (both parents died young) and I don't think she's every seen or been in a healthy relationship.
louiselebeau@reddit
Yeah. My childhood was fucked, I'm in therapy. I think I'll just stay single forever at this point. Life is so much easier when my son and I are the only ones I gotta take care of.
w3bd3v0p5@reddit
Honestly if I ever get divorced I think I'd do the same. Focus on me and the kid and that's enough. Find happiness through friendship rather than romantically. I think the only reason my wife and I do work together as well as we do is because we are both autistic level 1s (formerly Aspergers) and we understand each other on a fundamental level.
bcentsale@reddit
I'm just fortunate to have found someone for whom a cocktail sausage is adequate.
Key-Shift5076@reddit
..now I want cheddar litāl smokies.
bcentsale@reddit
Oooh, dayum girl, you freaky. Hit me up with them digits. š¤£
Wooden-Glove-2384@reddit
Its old boomer/pre boomer bullshit that deserves to die
At one point people got married because it was what society "expected"Ā
This was my parents
How you actually felt about each never came into the picture, divorce was stigmatized as hell and women's means of supporting themselves were severely limited.
As a result lots of people wound up with spouses the could not stand.
I grew up in that shit and swore to God i would never do it myselfĀ
I'm gen x, so is my wife, we've been married 34 years and carry on like we're grayer versions of us when we were dating
RaspberryVespa@reddit
I donāt knowā¦ There was A LOT of āidiot husband with overbearing wifeā tropes on television throughout the 90s and 2000s. But we also got it as caricatures and realized that it was for laughs and not something to emulate (such as Married with Children with NO MAAM and Marcy ball busting Jefferson all the time and all that. But lmao talk about good time TV!!)
So, really I think itās because we grew up realizing we (our generation) are in it together and are kind of all we got (90210 pushed this message a lot). As Xennials, we got the āpartnershipā message, whereas I donāt think that even existed until after our boomer and young boomer parents were popping us out, AND many of us saw the dysfunctional spousal hate dynamics all around us, so a lot of us naturally went the opposite way because we didnāt want to become our parents.
Also, we came up during the transitional period where we were taught the ideals of mutual respect between men and women in society. Not that everyone practices healthy relationships, but not by a long shot. Lots of dysfunction still abounds. BUT, a lot of us are a lot better off emotional engagement-wise with each other in general than the olds were.
airlew@reddit
I have a colleague who's pushing 60. He continually talks about how his wife wants nothing to do with him. However,it's done in a comedic manner. I don't get the humor in implying that my spouse thinks I'm too gross to touch.
RickyWVaughn@reddit
I love my wife to death, but a weekend alone in my house makes me question everything.
Dell_Hell@reddit
Boomers and earlier still grew up with an extreme bias against divorce, the 1st generation with a real opportunity for women to earn enough to live independently post divorce. Remember, boomer women could still be required to get a MALE cosigner on loans up through like 1973.
No fault divorce only came about en-masse in the 70's and 80's.
Marital rape was still legal until the 90's.
So yeah, you had lots of marriages where the women specifically were f@cking miserable, barely tolerating their spouse but were trapped in a sh!t marriage and so both spiraled into a cycle of bitterness, resentment, loathing, stonewalling, etc.
There's a reason that humor existed.... and why poisoning of your husband isn't anywhere near as common of an issue anymore.
Opening-Reaction-511@reddit
Everyone I know complains about their partner a lot
SaltNASalt@reddit
Psst, we did not miss out.
Perimenopause is just around the corner. This is where the jokes come from, and the boomers are not wrong. Just wait another 2-5 years and you will see.
DizzyPaint9279@reddit
I think our unique history as women 1973 rove v wade, 1974 credit cards became available, 1987 women could own a business made it possible for women to marry for love........I had the ability to actually meet someone without social pressure and at a time when you could live together while financially independent for years became friend. Sad to see our daughters losing that š¢
perpetualpastries@reddit
I was at a staff event recently where the facilitator asked, in the context of self-care, who we can vent to. One person in her late 20s said ānot my husband hahahah!ā and I thought to myself, āgirl, that is sad, donāt go around telling people!!āĀ
And then later that day I was at a Boyz II Men concert (abc bbd!) and Shawn gave a shoutout to all the ābest friendsā in the audience (big friend group kind of show, apparently), and my husband and I kissed each other to acknowledge that we were each otherās bff. Heās mine but I donāt need to be his, itās just nice that I am.Ā
I saw my parentsā marriage end very badly, and what I have is nothing like that.Ā
Fresh_Occasion_2648@reddit
Yeah, thereās a lot of healthy relationships with younger folks now
jujufruit420@reddit
Noā¦ millennial here and I hate my spouse and most of my friends hate theirs too,, I think now itās the women hating the men bc our eyes are open now
ErroneousBosch@reddit
I love my millennial wife, she's amazing
megadethage@reddit
I didn't get married. Why would I want to a wife that keeps aging with me?
ManagerSuper1193@reddit
Iāve gotta say that the comic strip āThe Lockhornsā has consistently been funny as hell for as long as Iāve been reading comics and Iām almost 60. š
AlgoStar@reddit
Based on a lot of the posts on Reddit (specifically in r/AmIOverreacting) lots of people still hate their spouses. Even more are willing to hate your spouse for you!
Global-Jury8810@reddit
I became friends with someone on Haight St. who hated his maybe-girlfriend, who was also the mother of his children. I could see why because she was always mean to the kids.
RaphaelSolo@reddit
Those jokes never made sense to me.
CheesyRomantic@reddit
My husband is Gen X and Iām a Xennial right on the cusp.
He definitely takes digs at me thinking itās normal. I hate it.
CreatrixAnima@reddit
Iām not sure Gen X thinks itās funny either.
ekmogr@reddit
20 years in and I hate my wife
smartypants333@reddit
I think we also were a generation that embraced divorce if things didn't work out. I refused to stay in an abusive marriage, got divorced, and then found the actual love of my life a year later and have been married to someone amazing for 12 years now.
My mom stayed with my abusive dad until he kicked her out after 10 years of marriage, then married another, much better guy, but who she has basically hated for the last 30 years. It's not abusive but they aren't compatible.
They are both in their 70's and frankly, have the means to divorce and live happily for the rest of their lives, but just feel like it's too much trouble.
kitterkatty@reddit
We have more distractions. That spouse hate category is played out, boomer jokes, taken for granted.
open marriage and divorce are way less stigmatized so itās not as relatable. Probably proves alimony is rare too bc that doesnāt even come into most stand up. Just the bleakness of being in the over the hill dating market. Joe DeVito is still my king lol https://youtu.be/tzoGTQXBATM classic
Rude_Masterpiece_239@reddit
We all got married late, mostly. We grew up, started life then married people as adults. Boomers married as children and many ended up being very unhappy.
fondofbooks@reddit
My parents have been married over 45 years. My mom is Silent Gen and my dad's a Boomer. I've been married for 20 years because I saw what an amazing example they set. That despite all the challenges they still adore each other. I know that's not the usual. Just want to share my experience and how lucky I am. The idea of joking about hating my partner is weird. We have struggles which can be funny but not outright hate.
IceManYurt@reddit
We married older and had kids later
CaliMassNC@reddit
A lot of what I consider mainstream āGen Xā comedy (Dane Cook et al) revolves around hating/fearing/despising your girlfriend instead.
Zestyclose_Scheme_34@reddit
Ugh Dane Cook. Forgot about that guy.
mottledmussel@reddit
I don't think I've ever seen his performance. I've just always assumed he was an asshole because Derek from Step Brothers likes him.
Mermaid28@reddit
It's so gross
zenlittleplatypus@reddit
Dane Cook's girlfriend is like 12. What's there to be afraid of?
CaliMassNC@reddit
He has such a young girlfriend because he canāt attract/handle an equal.
Nevergreeen@reddit
I think that's one of the reasons i feel more like a Xennial than a Gen X. There is something very aggressive and toxic about a lot of the humor that I just don't relate to at all.Ā
CitizenCue@reddit
Growing up that was how GenX always got portrayed in my experience. Maybe it was just media hype but that āXā label was applied in part to reflect that edginess.
I never felt like the elder millennials were as interested in rejecting anything as much as we just wanted to be our own thing.
TigerMcPherson@reddit
Yeah canāt stand him
Rat_Master999@reddit
He's like the karate of comedians...
the__ghola__hayt@reddit
Solid reference
media-and-stuff@reddit
I never got it. I grew up in a crazy sexist family, both parents, their siblings and the grandparents subscribed to the āball and chainā mentality.
Even as a kid I hated how the men and women split up at gatherings/parties.
Why would you marry someone who annoys you?
It makes no sense. This is the person youāre likely spending the majority of your free time with.
Why would you not want someone whoās fun?
LLPhotog@reddit
I mean...they likely weren't annoying at the time. Situations change. People change. Some people start fun and turn sour. Life situations. Hormones. Many factors.
mottledmussel@reddit
And lots of marriages because of accidental pregnancies.
media-and-stuff@reddit
But instead of being bitter and growing to hate one another and making everyone whoās around you uncomfortable with your constant bickering - just divorce and try to find someone who brings you happiness?
Or being alone.
Both better than a sad marriage to someone youāve grown to hate.
CitizenCue@reddit
I was very lucky to grow up surrounded by great marriages. I assumed that the sexist humor I saw on old TV shows died decades before we were even born.
Then I ventured out to middle America and discovered how wrong I was.
fred_samford@reddit
I remember once some coworkers were complaining and they looked at me and my buddy and said āyou guys donāt count, you love your wivesā
Ummmā¦isnāt that the idea?
Abremac@reddit
I sure hope we miss out on this. I happen to be very happy with my spouse and it would be silly to insinuate otherwise.
rharper38@reddit
There have been some rough times, but I genuinely adore my husband.
anansi52@reddit
back then relationships were more about responsibility than being head over heels in love. you might not like the person all the time, but you made a commitment, so you stick with them.
SketchSketchy@reddit
biddilybong@reddit
Havenāt been married long enough yet
jessewest84@reddit
I skipped that part. I'm married to books and guitar. I couldn't make a lady happy. So I don't bother.
Sudden_Cancel1726@reddit
Less people are getting married. Fewer children being born. But if you get married you will hate your wife at least once.
OJimmy@reddit
Can't hate someone that doesn't exist.
Dada2fish@reddit
Like you said, it was a comedic trope. It wasnāt real life. Trends change.
tomqvaxy@reddit
I think a lot more people felt stuck. Forced into marriage, not allowed to divorce. If anything, Iād say itās too bad women werenāt allowed to make other husbands in the same way. The men got all the catharsis. Iām not exposing this idea overarchingly, but I kind of understand. Iām glad we didnāt have to go through that in the same magnitude. I divorced the shit out of my first husband when I discovered he was useless. I love my second husband.
HookersForJebus@reddit
My wife and I talk all the time about this. Also about NOT needing āguys tripsā or āgirls tripsā. For us it feels weird and awkward to not do stuff as a team.
CitizenCue@reddit
Yeah most of our stuff is mixed, but I will say that some guy time is a joy too. Many of us work from home and we calculated that by 40 many of us had spent more hours around our spouses than our parents did by 60.
mmmtopochico@reddit
Personally I was always happy that when I'd have spring break trips with my dad growing up my stepmom wasn't there. She'd have ruined the vibe and totally been a wet blanket on dad time.
bagal@reddit
Exactly! If you donāt want to do things with your spouse thereās something wrong. I love doing things with our little family.
OkBaconBurger@reddit
I still go by the trope of āif she isnāt happy, then Iām not happyā as a joke but thatās as close as Iād get to that line of humor. Fact of the matter is we both rely on each other for so much and Iād be lost without her.
episcoqueer37@reddit
My husband recently texted me "happy wife, alive husband" and I honestly chuckled. It's our sense of humor, which is tinged with subverting the old narratives.
OkBaconBurger@reddit
Lol. Well there is some truth to that
daughtcahm@reddit
"Happy wife, happy life" is really more like "Happy spouse, happy house".
Ideally you're both working to keep each other happy, rather than "just give the little lady the checkbook to shut her up, hyuck hyuck".
CitizenCue@reddit
Iāll borrow that! At least once we buy a house. Got outbid on one this week that went for 45% over asking, fml.
vicariousgluten@reddit
I listened to a clip of Sandi Toksvig describing her marriage and it was lovely. She said that they operate the buddy system in life the same way that they do when they dive. Each one has the job of looking after the other one. It sounded like a very good plan.
-Bk7@reddit
"Happy wife, happy life"
CapOnFoam@reddit
This specific phrasing is another version of the āball and chainā trope.
Happy spouse, happy house is so much better.
pawned79@reddit
Youth marriage expectations, restrictive divorce, and stigmatized therapy all promote getting āstuckā in an unhealthy relationship.
TK1129@reddit
Damn I guess I lucked out. My boomer parents have been married for 43 years and both sets of grandparents were together until they passed. All very happy. My little Italian immigrant grandpa used to bring my grandma gifts almost every day on his way home from work when I was a kid. Flowers, pastries etc just because. He passed away relatively young, only in his 60s, when I was young. My grandma lived another 30 years and kept pictures of him everywhere the rest of her life
nd379@reddit
My (41f) partner of almost ten years (42m) fell into this trap and Iām being drug along for the ride right behind him. His parents (79 and 77) act like they hate each other. Mostly itās the dad mocking or arguing with the mom. Theyāve been together 50 years i think? Never divorced. It feels like theyāre both just stubborn and refuse to admit they donāt really like each other.
My parents were a freaking train wreck so by no means am I an expert on relationships but his parents just seem really toxic most of the time. Heās adopted his dadās little annoying quips and smart remarks and always tries to push my buttons to get a rise out of me because he thinks me snapping on him is love. Itās really draining and I hate it š
Weāve tried couples counseling but never got past the initial appointments because the therapist was a jerk.
Sigh. All of this to say I think Iām in one of the exact relationships being discussed in this thread š«£
windowschick@reddit
Those jokes aren't funny and they need to die. I'm ok with that. Staying married to someone you hate is destructive AF. ESPECIALLY if there are children involved.
Seems to me it'd be wiser to get divorced and marry someone you enjoy spending time with. But what do I know?
I married someone I enjoy hanging out with. This isn't the middle ages anymore. Or in my family history, any time prior to roughly 1850. I did not need to marry to solidify a land alliance, so I waited for someone I actually liked as a person.
LJkjm901@reddit
Married with Children
Superb-Fail-9937@reddit
I think a LOT of generations before us had no choice but to stay. My GMA left my Grandpa because he was a mean drunk who wouldnāt work etc. He needed help. She was completely ostracized. They weee kicked out of their church etc. luckily everyone turned out OK. But it was extremely traumatic for my sweet Mama. Not that itās more acceptable but a lot more people donāt have to stay!
katastrophyx@reddit
You just have to love the idea of getting kicked out of a church.
The entire premise of a church is to be accepting and to help people...but now they're just social clubs full of boomers that sit around and openly judge each other.
It's gross.
SamHandwichX@reddit
Uh churches have always been that way
RedMoloneySF@reddit
To that point, it was built into the mechanism in society.
There this nice older lady that was friends with my mom and went to our church. She divorced her first husband for whatever. Now, she was a devout catholic (which is far from an indicator of morality, but stillā¦) who went to church every Sunday, but could not get communion because she was divorced. Now, theyāre fake Jesus crackers so who cares? But it mattered to her and it mattered to people in that community.
Similar situation with my grandmom (few decades older than this woman) who to be dying day regretted divorcing my cheating and abusive grandfather. My mom said that it was the only decision she made for herself her entire life.
zenlittleplatypus@reddit
Exactly. This is the answer to "why did grandma and grandpa's marriage last 70 years?". Because they couldn't get out.
ReggaeForPresident@reddit
Itās nice to see old folk couples who are happy and loving to each other. My grandma endlessly nagged the fuck out of my grandpa for as long as I can remember.
No-Application-8520@reddit
I was 16 when my grandpa died. I was shocked to hear my grandma, although sad at the loss to the man who fathered her seven children, was the most relaxed she had ever been. I think she loved him but he was an alcoholic and I found out in later years, quite abusive.
catjuggler@reddit
I think people our generation are just more willing/able to get divorced
Fluid-Safety-1536@reddit
And also no longer call our wives "battle axes."
TairaTLG@reddit
Don't ask me. Deep in queer furry poly land (mostly to afford living) so most of us my friends waited or skipped on marriage.Ā
I think a lot at least for friends i know, living with someone not being scandalous is the big one.
Remember. For boomers, moving in with someone you love could sometimes mean you're fired and lose your job and friends because of religious and social pressure.Ā
MyNameIsDaveToo@reddit
The constant arguing and beratement I witnessed from married couples growing up was the main reason I chose to remain single. Sadly, I see plenty of it in our generation as well. Most of the couples I know argue more than I think is healthy in a relationship. Some have already divorced, others are on the fence. I know 1 couple who never argues, and I was fairly social growing up, so I know a lot of couples our age. I literally only know 1 pair who gets along 100% of the time.
I think it's honestly kind of natural when you spend that much of your time with the same person, so maybe it's not as unhealthy as I think it is, but it's definitely not how I wanted to spend my life, even if there are moments that counter it.
Ziggity_Zac@reddit
Wife is my best friend. We have the best time doing damn-near anything together. Also, doing nothing together. Couldn't imagine life without her.
the_kid1234@reddit
Two reasons:
1. Didnāt get married at 21 to someone because of an unplanned pregnancy
2. No stigma for divorce, parents used to stay together for the kids, thatās long gone
OkCar7264@reddit
That tracks roughly with the social and legal acceptance of no fault divorce.
oakleafwellness@reddit
I saw my parentās marriage and did the exact opposite with my own.
Been married for twenty years.
mmmtopochico@reddit
my wife and I are both children of divorce...my parents split after 20. Hers after almost 40.
We're determined to beat them both lol.
Designer-Amphibian29@reddit
I realized during my marriage that if I stayed, I was repeating the same unhealthy patterns I was raised in, and I left. Cheers to both of us for recognizing things can be different and better!
oldscotch@reddit
She's a real battle-axe!
Capital_Fig8091@reddit
Boomer āI hate my wifeā humor became āyou know what the difference between men and women is?ā humor.
Imho gen z humor has been the best. Theyāre not talking about heterosexual relationships (as much). Theyāre talking about the housing market, gender bending, emotional intelligence, and mental health. I love it. Oh! And soooooo many good female comedians. I donāt miss the āwomen canāt be funnyā era.
ailish@reddit
I don't know about anyone else but I don't hate my spouse, so I don't find that sort of comedy funny.
TrailerParkRoots@reddit
I think this might be a thing that really separates Gen X proper from Xennials. My solidly Gen X Brothers-in-law, aunts, etc. love this humor; the xennials in my life do not.
giraffemoo@reddit
My first husband was abusive... I married for love, he married so he could have a punching bag that he could also have sex with. I didn't hate him until he started hitting me and then telling me it was my fault I was getting hit.
freelight0@reddit
I think it's a function of us being the first generation who wasn't marrying mostly out of economic necessity, and not as young.
Maanzacorian@reddit
It's astonishing I turned out the way I did when I was spoon-fed this shit my entire upbringing. I never wanted to get married because every adult male (family or not) besides my Grampa led me to believe it's a loveless, sexless hellhole where you just grow old, fat, and resentful towards each other.
My parents met at 18, only had a short-term fling with someone else maybe once or twice, and decided they know everything about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. I think I was immaculately conceived because the chemistry between them is in the negative. They don't dislike each other, but they live weirdly insular lives where they only really know the other person, and the other person never really grew emotionally past their early 20's. My father and I don't speak as a result. I don't need that kind of shit in my life.
My wife and I are still madly in love with each other, and fuck like we're 18. Well, not 18, but it's healthy and robust.
R0botDreamz@reddit
Was it really hate? To me it was like "yes, dear" type humor that focused on the ups and downs of being around the same person all the time.
I hope we are not the generation that suggests to divorce after one argument. Or are you all pretending you never have disagreements with your spouses? Also, I've also hated the word spouse. It sounds weird.
Married 13 years, btw.
Current_Poster@reddit
I chalk it up to being inoculated by The Lockhorns being run in my local paper.
(ITDK, its a godawful cartoon wherever punchline, every time, is "these terrible people hate eachother".)
If I even suspected I could vaguely remind someone of them, I'd either volunteer for counseling or give my wife everything and becoming a hermit.
jecxjo@reddit
Have you ever noticed that a bunch of 80s and 90s sitcoms are missing the mom? Full House, Different Strokes, My Two Dads.
I'm wondering if the spouse hate didnt escalate to the point of ā ļø
omgzombies08@reddit
No fault divorce, and the ability for women to get a checking account and credit cards without a husband really helped a lot of people not to be stuck in marriages. Peak divorce rate was in 1980.
There is also less social pressure (though obviously there is still plenty to go around!) to get married in the first place so people are more likely to be in healthy relationships that lead to marriage, rather than just making do because it's "just what everyone does".
Sea_Ingenuity_4220@reddit
Boomers also got married significantly earlier in life and many got marries because it was ācheck the boxā thing to do
Trash-Panda-39@reddit
Miss out? š¤š¤
J_Robert_Matthewson@reddit
Our generation didn't see marriage and kids as an obligation or Mike-marker of maturity, so a lot of us married later, cohabitated longer before getting married and we made sure we actually liked our partners as people before saying "I Do."
But god, during my wedding every Boomer and older came up to be and cracked jokes like "They haven't locked the doors yet, you can still make a run for it."Ā +cue pained joyless smile+
To quote Stan Pines "y'see, it's funny because marriage is terrible!"
Squantoon@reddit
Older generations were pressured to marry and start a family. An entire generation of kids grew up in a house where 2 people despised each other and figured they would do better. I work with a guy who has been married for almost 30 years and has never told any story involving his wife where it seemed like they even remotely liked each other
RichFoot2073@reddit
Those were the relationships where people were forced together, like, the neighborās daughter is going to be your wife because reasons.
These days, people take a lot longer with their courting.
often_awkward@reddit
I hate my wife sometimes and then I eat and everything is fine again. Honestly the source of probably 99% of our disagreements is one of us is hungry or tired.
I think it was also just a less sensitive type of humor and more of an ability to remain anonymous. I remember seeing stories of certain comics that told awful jokes about their spouses but in reality had great relationships.
Humor evolves just like technology or devolves if you've seen what the younger generations find funny these days which probably just makes me old.
My 13-year-old just discovered Lynyrd Skynyrd and I can't say I'm mad so I guess I'm doing something right and I should go make sure that I took my ADHD meds and delete this.
KatVanWall@reddit
Yeah, I never really got that at all. It helped that my parents had an incredibly happy marriage! (In fact, you could say they ruined me for relationships a bit, because I never expected to find that level of love, commitment, friendship, etc. all in one partner - I knew they had something special and could see how other couples usually didn't have that, and I thought it wouldn't be in the cards for me.) They 'only' got 24 married years together before my dad died, but I've never felt the 'I hate my spouse' thing was funny at all.
Lopsided-Weather6469@reddit
The thing is that millennials and later generations just aren't old enough yet to have experienced the struggles in long-term relationships and marriages that the boomers and gen-X'ers have.
Just wait, you'll be the same one day.
Alldamage@reddit
I guess I got lucky as my parents love each other to death, and still do. It is funny watching them now as one of those old couples who know how to set each other off and do it to amuse guests.
Been married to my wife for 23 years now, met in college. I think making it easier to divorce and more couples going that route almost as soon as they realize they shouldnāt be married, has changed that aspect of our culture. Thank god for that.
Ear_Enthusiast@reddit
My parents married each other when they were 20 and had three kids by the time they were 29. They hated each other. They hated their second respective spouses. They donāt really like their third and current respective spouses. I stacked bodies til I was 29, then I met my wife. We partied, traveled, bought a house, and grew together for nine years before we had kids. We canāt wait to dump the kids off and travel together. We still smash and give each other head. My wife caught me staring at her cleavage tonight. I would hate to become anything like my parents.
ElleAnn42@reddit
I was going to mention the age difference, too. I am really glad that I didnāt marry the person I was dating at age 18 or 19. We waited longer to get married (or didnāt get married). Itās made a huge difference in quality of life.
Ear_Enthusiast@reddit
FWIW, Iām one year older than my dad was and two years older than my mom when they got divorced. As an adult and a parent I find myself being super judgemental of my parents when they were my age.
JDRL320@reddit
My dad has way more love & respect for my mom to ever say he āhates his wifeā They truly have an amazing marriage.
BidInteresting8923@reddit
Has anyone seen mom groups on Facebook?
Plenty of toxic stuff out there applying old tropes. Itās not being played for laughs, but youād think that dads do absolutely nothing for a family and moms do literally everything.
I also think complaining about a person you spend the vast majority of your free time with to your friends is relatable and natural. I have to listen to my wife come home from work and complain about that bitch Brenda in the finance office. My friends have to listen to me complain about something. Itās what humans do.
IKnowAllSeven@reddit
Oh, I donāt knowā¦my parents are very much in love and they still both complain about eachother. Mom hates dadās blue bathrobe, for instance.
I think itās less a function of āI donāt love you but Iām stuck with youā and more a function of āI do love you but living with another person for fifty years, there are times you absolutely get on my nervesā
Babyspiker@reddit
Yes, but to be fair, none of us ever scored four touchdowns in a single Polk High football game.
Ninja-Panda86@reddit
I suspect lots of Boomers were really drunk/high when they coupled and got knocked up. And then so many of them revolved their down time around drinking, which messes with sleep and mood and health, etc - add these things together and you get someone who doesn't like their spouse and are crabby.Ā
_and_red_all_over@reddit
Paternal Silent Generation divorced. My grandfather found love with another woman. Maternal Silent Generation couldn't stand each other but refused to divorce, so they slept in different rooms on opposite sides of the house. I mean, he got her pregnant when she was under age, so he married her because she couldn't go back to her parent's house, pregnant and unmarried. But her father left his first wife for the nanny as soon as the nanny was of legal age (we know he was "seeing her" before that), she was so you'd think her father would be understanding, right? Anyway, my grandfather felt trapped, and one of my aunts might not have actually been on of his... so... it's really classy on that side of my family.
Boomer parents divorced. They both found real love afterward.
My wife (1986 millennial) and I (xennial) married for love sixteen years ago. Figured I'd do the opposite of what my family did before me.
WakeyWakeeWakie@reddit
I am always getting on my husband about this. Heās X but really close to the Boomer cut off. His jokes arenāt āhate my wifeā but they are such old sitcom wife jokes. I tell him āyou no one else around us thinks those are funny since we are all younger, right?ā
Intelligent_Flow2572@reddit
Women could not get a credit card/bank account by themselves until the 1970s. Many stayed married to avoid homelessness and prostitution.
TheMireMind@reddit
Divorce became less taboo so they don't stay your wife if you hate them.
Secure_Ad_295@reddit
I know alot of people that hate there wife in private. But you never no it because everything looks good on social media qnd when they host stiff they look like the perfect couple
kid_sleepy@reddit
1950s āhoney Iām home whereās my damn martini and cigarette? Dinner. The kids better be asleepā humor will never die for meā¦
My girlfriend and I love to joke around in public about it tooā¦ no āGood Samaritanā has ever stepped in.
gregmcph@reddit
I'm old, but when I'm with fellow old fart guys and they get into a whinge session about their wives, well... I don't want to do it. I like the old cow.
RadTimeWizard@reddit
I appreciate the fuck out of my wife. She's a workoholic, and our house is really nice because of her.
ericwbolin@reddit
I don't know. I mean, my wife rules. But I'm in a support group for dads on another social media platform and, Jesus, there are some sad-sacks on there. Every day it's some masculine meme baloney followed by some other guy going "Boys, I need some help. A good divorce lawyer because she's trying to take the kids."
Many of them miss the irony of those coming back to back.
I think we missed out on the humor, but here in the South, there's a whole bunch of messed-up fellas who never figured out how to love.
CitizenCue@reddit
Yeah if you think this shitty humor didnāt cross into our generation, you probably live in a progressive bubble.
drainbamage1011@reddit
I think I might've been in that same group, and I had to bail pretty quickly for that reason. Too much alpha male shit or "OH GOD SHE TOOK THE KIDS." I tried to make a sincere post once, just to vent some stuff I had on my mind, and a bunch of people misinterpreted my intent and then tried to one-up me on who was matryring themselves more.
My wife may have some mental health issues that make her challenging to live with at times, but I don't hate her and we've had a lot of great times together too.
TheGirlwThePinkHair@reddit
I took a class recently with mostly Gen z kids and the millennial teacher was always talking about how much he hates his wife and the class did not in any way think it was funny & weāre always on him about what a jerk he is.
CitizenCue@reddit
Yeah the āwife badā humor still spills into millennial spaces in some parts of the country. Itāll be another generation or two before it dies off completely.
I think a lot of guys get insecure as they age and their wives become an easy target. So it may take awhile.
laterlifephd@reddit
As an āXāerā, this is not a trope for us. Our motto is (potentially sarcastically) āhappy wife, happy lifeā. Wives and kids are more central to our lives than our Parentsā lives.
EternalTreasure1@reddit
This year will make 20 yrs of marriage for me.
btcdbcb_bekknqv@reddit
boomers missed out on not hating their spouses
CitizenCue@reddit
But the humor still survived. A huge portion of the boomer population still jokes about wives being a joyless ball and chain, and husbands being idiots who canāt cook or raise kids.
LibertyCash@reddit
We just failed to buy-in to the gender stereotypes, thank god
snowboard7621@reddit
We donāt have to get married, and we donāt have to stay married.
grpenn@reddit
I definitely disliked my spouse so I get all the jokes.
TimedogGAF@reddit
They got married before they were 20 and didn't divorce.
HandsomeGemini@reddit
I think it's factors others have already brought up. One, we don't have to get married right away. More and more people are waiting to get married in their 30s, or even 40s. Older generations would often get married to their high school or college sweetheart. I am a completely different person today than I was as a teenager. If I had gotten married back then, not sure my high school girlfriend would have grown with me, it's much more likely we'd have grown apart. And then, yeah, we're also allowed to get divorced now if we do grow apart. We don't have to stay in bad marriages anymore.
therobotscott@reddit
Ii seems I've missed out on even having a wife. If ever a girl will give me a chance there's no way I will let her think she's anything less than priceless to me.
lolsalmon@reddit
Youāll find a robosexual out there, I just know it
FireMysteries@reddit
Yes. Pluto in Libra generation. Our gift & responsibility.
Original-Turnover-92@reddit
The trick is that they were not joking.
postscarcity@reddit
I never understood that kind of humor. If you hate your spouse and you don't leave them then the joke's on you, dumbass.
shroomsAndWrstershir@reddit
I had to stop watching King of Queens because of how badly they talked to and treated each other.
ChromeDestiny@reddit
The one that always kills me is Everybody Loves Raymond aka Toxic Relationships: The Sitcom.
brlysrvivng@reddit
I think it just really depends on your marriage. I can still see my spouse subscribing to that mindset
DamarsLastKanar@reddit
My ex-wife is a neat-o gal. Why wouldn't I wish her well?
It's like I married her or something.
cookie_flip@reddit
I was just saying this exact thing to my wife this morning. My solidly Gen X boss was grumbling that I never want to go have fun on Sunday outside work activities. The idea of hanging out with my wife and family over my boss and colleagues on the weekend sounds like completely made up bullshit to him.
Proud_Cauliflower400@reddit
I didn't waste my time hating my spouse's. Sometimes, people end up being shitty people, sometimes, we end up being shitty people. Move on, grow, heal, and be better the next to around.
Dream-Ambassador@reddit
I think an element may be that the men in our era are actually feminists. Like my spouse is generally not anti women like gen z men seem to be and boomers definitely are. He doesnāt want me to take care of him and does half the housework, unlike so many boomer men. (My mom isnāt even dating anymore since she doesnāt want to take care of a man and all the men her age want a caretaker). I do think men around xennial age are more forward thinking and definitely landed in a spot culturally that they truly believe women are equals.
Julie_Anne_@reddit
The more common trope now is the hopelessly useless, bumbling father and mother keeping it all together. Still gross, still damaging, but at least they are there for each other. Nate Bargatze seems like a nice guy and I'm sure he's worked hard for his career but man, those jokes about not knowing anything about his kid are hard to listen to.
Taskerst@reddit
I probably would have ended up hating my wife if Iād ended up marrying who I was with when I was at āthe age where people are supposed to settle down.ā But I learned from my parents that all things considered itās better to be alone rather than with the wrong one. It makes me think that half of all marriages only ever happened because society pressured them into it.
sayyyywhat@reddit
Yes, we saw what our parents had and learned to not do that. Iām 17 years in and would never talk shit in my partner because we actually put time into selecting our people vs marrying the first person to knock us up.
alcoyot@reddit
The trope isnāt suppose to be real life for anyone. If it is, you have a serious problem
PinkStarburst16@reddit
I love him.
the__ghola__hayt@reddit
It's still around in our generation. Have a few Xennial friends and family members who do the tired "ball and chain" jokes, like the "I hate my wife" comedians, and send the type of memes that make the LGBT community ask "are the straights okay?". It's probably no coincidence that they all grew up within a toxic masculinity culture and work in the trades. Seems to be where that type of thinking festers.
Thomisawesome@reddit
I seem to know a ton of people who have gotten divorced. So maybe the jokes are out, and just splitting up is in.
LilithFiles@reddit
I donāt hate my ex spouse but I definitely chose wrong. I think our generation doesnāt hate as much because weāre free to leave, where my grandparents and parents had a much harder time and less financial and psychological tools for help.
Rat_Master999@reddit
I lucked out with my parents' relationship. They've been married for 50 years, and are still in love. When I was going through things with my first wife, getting ready to get divorced, Dad and I had some long talks. He was all about me finding someone who could make me as happy and be a strong partner as my mother is for him. They do little things for each other all the time, and when Dad and I go on our somewhat-annual fishing trips, we make sure to stay in touch with our ladies and spend some time to find a gift to give them when we get home.
I thought my first wife was going to be the one because of all the weird coincidences and parallels between our early relationship and my parents'. We met in college (same one my parents attended). Mom's roommate stole Dad's hat. Future-ex-wife's roommate stole mine. Mom graduated a year and half before Dad. FEW graduated a year and half before me. A few other things. Things were good for a while. We were together '97-'13. Married in '06. Finalized divorce papers were delivered to me on our 10th anniversary.
My current wife and I have been together since '14 and got married in '23. Things are still great. If I'm telling my coworkers about her, it's because I'm bragging about her again, such as her cool programs for kids at her work, or how awesome her choral concerts have been. The next one is Carmina Burana. I'm REALLY looking forward to it.
I was afraid things might be rocky because of our age gap (16 years), but her family accepted me right in and mine accepted her. Mom's commented on how she's never seen me happier, and I knew they were on board with the idea of me proposing when Mom gave me my grandmother's ring to do it with.
The one area of my parents' relationship where my wife thinks it edges into the "spouse hating" territory is when they argue. She doesn't like how pushy and blunt Dad gets. Dad gets that way with anyone he's arguing with. He's a retired full-bird colonel, the idea that other people may be right is a little foreign to him at times.
gpo321@reddit
To the moon, Alice!
Backwoodsuthrnlawyer@reddit
Pow, right in the kisser. Pow, right in the kisser. Pow, right in the kisser.Ā
roncopenhaver13@reddit
I didnāt miss out. Twice
BrattyTwilis@reddit
I think there's still a little bit of it, but it's more none serious, "Things my spouse does to annoy me" jokes than anything else
No-Application-8520@reddit
Iāve been asked hypothetically if Iād remarry if something ever happened to my wife and I always say no. When asked whatās bad about it, I say nothing. I love my wife. We built this life together and worked hard for everything we have. Why in the hell would I gamble half of that at my age now or older.
Elegant-Expert7575@reddit
Iāve been with my guy for 25 years and we both arenāt into the rude and gross hate stuff.
My sister is a boomer and really doesnāt like her husband and sends me crap like that ten times a day. Itās disgusting.
All those silly white hurls that are in their 40ās dressing in clothes from a decade ago thinking their MILFās in their white houses.
We did not miss out on hating our spouses. Thankfully!
imthewronggeneration@reddit
I agree on not "I hate my wife", but now it seems to turn into "I'll marry you for money" idk. Relationships are a mess, and It really all started in the 60s.
fangirlengineer@reddit
My grandparents, both sets, genuinely liked each other and seem to have chosen each other to marry, and for both sides it was truly until death did part them (I think it was 60+ years for both).
My parents were high school sweethearts and married early. My mother detested my father by the time I was five, because he carried none of the household load beyond tinkering in the garage. They didn't get divorced until after 20 years of marriage but they really should have much earlier. They really did fit in with a lot of the 90s sitcoms; I didn't realise they were as dysfunctional as they are until my late teens.
My mother told me I was making a huge, huge mistake when I got engaged. Shock, we still like each other and by this time next year will have been married for longer than my parents were š
JohnBarnson@reddit
In the net, I agree it's a move in the right direction, but I feel like there are situations where it goes too far. I see a lot of guys that if they express frustration with their marriage, they just get shouted down as being boomer-man women-haters. So a lot of people learn to just bury it down rather than talk about it, even among anonymous strangers.
ennuiismymiddlename@reddit
Well I canāt speak for anyone else, but my marriage is going through a bad patch - and I just CANNOT find any sort of humor in it at all. Even watching sitcoms where itās supposed to be āfunnyā that the couple argues all the time and hate each other just makes me sad.
Morriganx3@reddit
Iām sorry. Itās really not funny at all - it feels awful. I hope things work out well for you
DaSpatula505@reddit
I grew up thinking men resented being married and hated their wives. It made me wonder why they got married in the Ā first place.Ā
nemonimity@reddit
My wife's my best friend. Good on us if we missed it.
EnvironmentalPack451@reddit
A lot of us just got divorced
Zestyclose_Scheme_34@reddit
My husband is my best friend. Heās helped me through horrible depression, extreme postpartum anxiety and depression. Helped me get through my fatherās death.
LakeExtreme7444@reddit
Same here. I couldnāt manage the grief of losing my little brother if I didnāt have my husband by my side. Heās my rock, and Iām so thankful for his patience with me on my worst days.
bagal@reddit
A marriage is about teamwork and friendship. Iām glad he was there for you.
effitalll@reddit
Welp, we have our own money now so we can leave when our husbands treat us like that.
StrickenBDO@reddit
There is a massive twitter thread by dudes called I hate my girlfriend and the stuff they do to try and get her to break up with them that retrends every so often. Gen Z men are very antimarriage because they think women want half their shit and all their gold they don't have. So I think a similar sentiment is back in style atm.
ElleWinter@reddit
I think so. I never found the old "I hate my wife" or "my husband is so stupid" comedy funny AT ALL.
Perhaps enough of us had angry, divorced parents and chose better? I think I did. And of my friends that are divorced, all of them work really hard to co-parent in a positive way, and have respect and compassion for each other, so it's easier on the kids. Some of them are even friends after a while.
I really like my husband. He is the best one.
hevnztrash@reddit
That kind of comedy just got so old and overdone. And it was a huge factor not why I never got married. Between that and seeing married family members making each other miserable, I never understood the point of getting married without similar life long goals.
JeanEtrineaux@reddit
Thereās so much entitlement with Boomers. How can a relationship work if no one ever thinks to put anotherās needs first (not always, but when itās needed). How can a relationship work when both people see themselves as the unequivocal main character of the universe?
GelflingMama@reddit
Iām glad I missed it! My husband is my best friend and I wouldnāt want anyone else!
kswildcatmom@reddit
My husband and I (married almost 19 years) have always agreed that we wouldnāt take part in the bashing spouses trend. Like we wouldnāt hang out with our buddies and talk about how awful marriage is. I think itās great that more of us donāt do that these days.
Its-all-downhill-80@reddit
I think a lot of it is the ages people married and had kids. My wife and I knew each other as teens, lived lives, then reconnected later. I was 32 when we married and 34 with our first kid. My parents met, got married within a year, and I was there 13 months later. My dad was 24 and my mom was 23. They had to figure out how to live life, be married, and raise a kid all while having little worldly experience. My dad cheated on my mom and drank a ton after getting off work at 11pm. She never left despite there being plenty of reasons. Childhood was chaotic. Now my wife and I are each others person, and we work as a team. Itās a very different experience than my parents had, and a whole lot better.
82ndGameHead@reddit
I mean, around the time we were growing up, we had The Simpsons, Fresh Prince, Everybody Loves Raymond, Family Matters, etc. The married couples there definitely had their problems, but nothing they couldn't work thru. And it never got to the point where it was just hatred between the two.
So yeah, I think we did. I'm not complaining, tho.
Hitthereset@reddit
I mean, mine kinda sucks so I'm on board.
Drachen1065@reddit
I don't have one so i guess i have missed out?
One-Earth9294@reddit
Our generation just didn't get married to simply keep up appearances and uphold traditions. Our parents did, though. Baby Boomers are people who went to church out of fear of disappointing their silent gen mothers.
We don't have that same kind of drive because our parents didn't drill it in us as hard.
jasonmoyer@reddit
Have you seen This Is 40?
Munchkin531@reddit
I feel very lucky and blessed to have such an amazing husband. We've been together 20 years, married for 15. We have 2 awesome kids, dogs, and cats. We have a good life together. He's my best friend and I don't know what I'd do without him. Sure, we fight like all couples do, but we're never mean or hurtful. I try to sing his praises when I'm around my friends and family as much as possible. I know he loves me, and we're good for each other. Both our parents have been together for over 40 years as well.
Expert-Lavishness802@reddit
Coming up on 18 years married its a blessing to be with her this long she is the foundation of fhe household for sure and an incredible mother and hard working nurse! I don't know how she does it all! ā¤ļø
lecoqmako@reddit
My mom was single for the first half of my childhood and worked full time so I was mostly raised by grandma (but not really raised, because it was the eighties and we were free range.) My grandpa worked hard and was generous, but he was also a raging alcoholic asshole. My grandma waited on him hand and foot and he was so cruel to her. I couldnāt understand why she put up with it, until I found myself repeating the same relationship pattern. I have a better understanding of the sunken cost fallacy and how our early experiences shape us, which doesnāt mean Iām any better at being better, but dark humor can be a temporary relief from the pains of life.
ElectricSnowBunny@reddit
fuck all that archie bunker shit
I never married, but I've been in ltr with 3 wonderful women, and it just didn't work out for whatever reasons.
maybe I'm just lucky, but I like and respect every woman I was serious with, still.
isn't that the point?
Lemmy_Axe_U_Sumphin@reddit
I donāt hate my wife at all but I still enjoy the āwife badā jokes to some degree. Feels more like banter than anything else. Boomers who say that shit in my experience mostly do it tongue in cheek. The boomers I know that truly hate their wives express their hate without the joke part.
11229988B@reddit
I liked when Rodney Dangerfield did it
Lemmy_Axe_U_Sumphin@reddit
Yes thatās exactly who I was thinking of
PumpkinThen@reddit
You should read his autobiography, if you haven't already.
11229988B@reddit
Ill add it to the list.
ilazul@reddit
and most of his were self depreciating.
"my wife signed me up for a bridge club, next tuesday's my turn to jump"
goku3989@reddit
Probably the wrong time to ask me as I just finalized my divorce (after 17.5 years of marriage). š
Still, I really can't say that I hate her. I suppose it was just, unfortunately, one of those things.
Sequel_Police@reddit
Nah, pretty sure I got that one covered. FML.
Longinquity@reddit
My parents loved each other, but there sure was a lot of spouse hating in popular culture. Unfortunately, there still seems to be a pervasive mistrust between the sexes. It shows up in humor and the people around me at times, but not as much spouse bashing. Thankfully. At least it's a step in the right direction.
LowCharming3452@reddit
I saw those shows as a kid and was determined to have the opposite in my life. They showed me what not to do and it helped me avoid it I think
gobnyd@reddit
Yeah now we do the thing where we're like I love you, wife I've been with for 15 years, but I don't want to be married anymore because you got diagnosed with chronic illness, which took away your ability to work but not take away your ability to fuck clean the house or cook. But I don't hate you! Nor did I tell you any single bit of my unhappiness but I just moved out permanently while you were away one weekend and notified you by email!
I actually still love you and you're a good person and I'm fucking up your entire life because you can't even get a desk job, but I hope we can be friends someday! I'm also going to refer to this as breaking up.
So I guess instead of hating our spouses, we're doing treating marriage as dating and peacing out when it gets not fun?
Nobody has to hate each other! šŗš
(Except later in the divorce, somehow he got mad at ME for asking for a longer term of alimony, because disability, and ended up yelling at me that I made up my (genetic) disability to manipulate him)
So I'm not sure that everyone learned the right lessons
alphabetikalmarmoset@reddit
You okay, dude?
gobnyd@reddit
Not really! I'm the suddenly abandoned and disabled wife!
WhatTheCluck802@reddit
First time around I loathed my spouse after the first few years. Second time around, I really like them, in addition to love them. Drives me up the wall occasionally but my current spouse is totally my bestest friend and a great partner. š„°
NotRadTrad05@reddit
Married in 06 and already looking forward to getting to celebrate 20 next year, but in good fun, I often refer to my wife as my '1st wife'. Boomers always assume I'm divorced.
Sunshinehaiku@reddit
This caused a lot of conflict for me at one workplace actually.
My coworkers were always griping about how awful their wives and kids were. They would get mad at me for saying complementary things about my wife, and not joining in with their negativity.
bobrosserman@reddit
Our divorce rate is wayyyyy lower than theirs. So, no, I donāt think we missed out.
TurdPhurtis@reddit
Good. I never understood it even if it was just supposed to be humor
Longjumping_Ice_3531@reddit
Our generation just never got married.
elektrik_noise@reddit
I definitely don't find the "I hate my spouse" humor to be particularly funny. But, I will say that I do have this funny voice I put on when I'm imitating my husband when I'm talking to my friends lol.
rjwqtips@reddit
Canāt hate your spouse when youāre divorced š
new_publius@reddit
Nope
ughomgg@reddit
Yes married 10 years so far we married to be best friends and for love after growing up in divorced boomer homes
rengregory@reddit
The same occurred to me recently when a boomer colleague made a quip about hating his wife. He repeated it, expecting me to laugh, and got a little pissy when I said I heard him the first time. I feel it's a healthier evolution of how to view marriages, after so many of us growing up as latchkey kids in divorced households.