Want to leave USA- Partner isn't ready

Posted by youre_reallypretty@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 23 comments

Hi, I am a 28 year old female. I currently live and work in the Northeast in the USA. My degree is in communications. I am terrified for the direction in which the US is and has been heading. I want to leave, and have wanted to leave the country for some time now. It's always been in the back of my mind, but it feels more urgent than ever now. However, my partner does not want or is not ready to leave. I get it. All our family and friends are here. Our lives. Our childhood memories. Moving to another country is scary. But damn, so is staying here, for me! I was hoping I could get advice on how to possibly convince him to leave with me as soon as possible. Unless it gets really bad really fast we wouldn't go until at least September, as that is when our current lease expires. And if I have to I will go alone for my own safety, and he knows this. But I want us to be able to go together and build better lives. What can I do?

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funkymonkeytaken@reddit

“Really bad, really fast”. I am from London UK, Currently in Toronto since April 2024. Wife is from France. The world outside of USA is not unicorns and gold paved roads. London is going down the toilet, German economy is tanking. UK if FULL of anti immigrant anti woke sentiment. Bottom line, doubt anywhere is “better” depending on what your definition of better is. I would say, move for the sake of exploring other cultures and places, don’t move because you think there’s better places to live than the US - that will be a struggle to find.

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Tardislass@reddit

Thank you. I have friends living in London and Germany and while they dont like what's happening in the US, their own countries are going through upheavals. Lots more talk about how bad migrants and foreigners are-especially in Germany-a country that needs skilled foreigners and the UK is already pushing back against Labor.

People are fickle-moving for politics is probably not a good idea unless your life is in danger. And no, people lives aren't in danger in the US.

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SideStreetHypnosis@reddit

What an ignorant and privileged statement saying nobody’s life is in danger in the US.

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BostonQuincy@reddit

Thank you for your comment. 15 years away from the US, and I'm totally glad I'm back.

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Blackfish69@reddit

Not going to bandwagon the negative sentiments on this post, but agree with the overall point. You may not like some things here, but unless somewhere else literally solves for all the other issues in your life moving as escapism is most likely not going to bear fruit. US is generally the best place to be. I suppose if you guys are mostly retired at 30 then going abroad could offer some benefits? That said, I'd guess you most likely need to figure out how to cope with the situation here. If you aren't happy here, then it's probably not a location specific thing. Not to mention... US is absolutely massive; there's something for everyone here.

South-Safety4838@reddit

Stop watching the news. It's poisoning us all with propaganda. Your countrymen aren't bad, its the people trying to divide us.

BetterFortune1912@reddit

Cult members generally are bad. I do not worship orange jesus.

most people dont, so why do you make this comment?

sread2018@reddit

Where can you legally move to?

What visa for you qualify for?

What visa does your partner qualify for?

Have you researched CoL and QoL at that location?

Do you have enough savings?

What does the job market look like there?

If you've been thinking of this for "sometime" can can't answer the above questions, you need to start doing a lot of research real quick.

You can't convince someone to do anything if you don't have any of this already worked out

KiwiBeacher@reddit

THIS

cr1zzl@reddit

Ffs.

Read the rules. This is not what this sub is for.

But also, when you’re going FROM something instead of TO something, it’s likely not going to work out. You live in the richest country in the world with all your support network around you… the rest of the world is not going to be flowers and rainbows, you’ll have no support system, you’ll literally be second class due to lack of citizenship, etc.

If there is a place that is pulling you so strongly then it might be worth it. But you don’t even talk about which countries are pulling you and if you can legally move there / what your visa options are, so it’s clear you’re not serious about this.

inertm@reddit

Don't make a big production about it. Take a trip to a country where you don't need a visa. If you're US citizens, there are a bunch of countries that permit you to stay for 30-180 days visa free. If, after awhile, you like the place, you can extend your visa in-country. Your biggest issue might be employment which, in all counties, requires a work visa, but start by checking it out first. You can put your stuff in storage, use a relative's address for banking, buy one-way tickets, book Airbnb and head out somewhere.

PenelopeLane86@reddit

What visa could you qualify for? Do you know that you can’t move to a new country like you move to a new state? Lots of hoops to jump through starting with qualifying for a visa and meeting any financial requirements.

Convincing your boyfriend isn’t the way to go. He will either make that decision or not but not from being pushed by you.

Distinct-Value1487@reddit

Put together an exit strategy and follow thru with it. If he can't support you when you're afraid enough to leave the country, then he's not your ride or die. He's just a guy.

SpaceBetweenNL@reddit

Northeast is bad in your opinion? I think, for example, Rhode Island is still safer than a typical German region.

My friend's sister lives in Stuttgart 💀💀💀

There are colonies of old ppl in third world countries. It is moslty American, European and Canadians retireing. You could join them. You could learn a lot from the old timers.

peterinjapan@reddit

You can’t possibly be happy in a country you don’t have a strong emotional connection with, you should probably come to terms with the fact that every four years the future of the nation is up for grabs, and sometimes the “deplorable‘s“ get into power. It probably won’t affect you that much, if you have work and friends, you can get by without even noticing if you try. For myself, I’m trying to add to my net worth in the stock market and get through the next four years

This. Having been around for Trumps first time, safety was the least of my worries. It's not going to be fun, but family and friends should help. Keep up the savings and try not to listen to the news every night. Life will go on and probably voters will swing back in another four years.

Plus OP hasn't the skills or experience to have a skilled worker visa. And politics in other countries can be as crazy as here in various ways.