What was the most bizarre ticket you’ve ever received?
Posted by OhMyEnglishTeaBags@reddit | sysadmin | View on Reddit | 103 comments
I work at a school in the UK and a few months ago had a teacher submit a ticket stating that “a student has told me that my photo has appeared on the website ‘Only Fans’” and that she requests we search all of Only Fans for her photo. I said the school would need a pretty big credit card for that and somebody brave enough 😂😂
diffraa@reddit
Maybe not bizarre, but the one I got to disable my all of boss' access at 4:30 hit different.
bombatomba69@reddit
"Can you install DOOM on a computer." I wish I was joking, but one of our lab techs actually put that in a ticket. I told him no, then secretly put that Microsoft Pinball game on one of the PCs (since the exe is portable). To my knowledge nobody has found it yet.
Total-Temperature-46@reddit
"A week or 2 ago, while I was in a meeting, the fans on my laptop spun up" I need you to tell me why.
We had request to give someone local admin access to trial some software, the director approved the request and we had to give the access...They installed adult video games and got caught playing at work.
Tymanthius@reddit
I worked somewhere (State gov) that when the internet was new to work places, guy was pretty much only watching porn. He got his access suspended. Near permanently.
Fast forward to about 2016 or so and he FINALLY is given access back. Dude couldn't even do email this whole time. No idea if had issues any longer.
Disturbed_Bard@reddit
Lmfao how was he doing anything related to his job?
What a grifter
BoredTechyGuy@reddit
State workers are generally union workers and take literal acts of god to fire.
You screw up, they put you on a probation period. As long as you are good during that period you are free and clear to go back to whatever it is you did to get in trouble all over again.
deefop@reddit
Yeah, he said state government
Tymanthius@reddit
Engineer. He could still use drawings and such, and could get to internal assets - file shares.
MisterFives@reddit
Ticket that read:
"Whenever I send an email from my phone it says 'sent from my iPhone' at the bottom. Can we remove this? It looks very unprofessional.
Sent from my iPhone "
hihcadore@reddit
Translation:
I’m at the mall and don’t want me boss to know I’m not in the office.
JazzlikeInfluence813@reddit
“I installed a file that was too big and it caused my screen to crack” I kid you not, is the words that were written in the ticket…. We still laugh whenever someone brings it up.
Ssakaa@reddit
... was it a file folder on their keyboard, maybe with a pen layed across it, when they closed their laptop forcibly?
fiercebrosnan@reddit
This is the attitude that can help you greatly in IT or anything involving troubleshooting. To others, it may sound like you’re giving them too much credit. To me, it sounds like you’re able to translate the half formed ideas presented by users in tickets and solve things more quickly because you can meet people in the middle.
JazzlikeInfluence813@reddit
Nope… I wish….
TeamInfamous1915@reddit
"The files are in the computer?
TotallyNotIT@reddit
When I worked at a medical lab software company in about 2011 or so, we got a ticket from a smaller clinic that the server was in a car accident. I ended up being the one brave enough to figure out what the actual fuck was happening. The IT closet was against an exterior wall and an elderly patient smashed through the wall and took everything out.
They had backups but the hardware was fucked and we had to fly a field person out to redo all the instrument integrations. It was absolutely fucked.
Curtains6996@reddit
I didn't put anything on, only the fan's page. I wouldn't share pics except mine. Don't be throwing me under that bus. Seem like this is how it's been going all along . 3 phones later
Dataogle@reddit
Not for my team, but I stumbled upon a ticket opened by the lady of the reception: “we have a caller that keeps calling us. He is mentally unstable and seems to think he knows how to stop a big meteorite approaching the earth. Please block his number: xxx…”
RickaliciousD@reddit
“I can’t click on the menu that comes up when i press the button on my monitor”
Grrl_geek@reddit
That we should contact Verizon and get them to install a cell tower on the campus I used to work at. That's a laugh!!
Grumpy-24-7@reddit
Actually, that's not too far out of the ordinary. I work for a company that has hundreds of outside employees who drive around to customer sites all over SoCal. They would get routed by internal Dispatch over their Verizon branded iPhones. Dispatch complained the voice quality was horrible and so we had Verizon add a repeater to the top of our building. It's the only place I've ever worked where I had better "bars" while inside the building than I'd get standing outside on the sidewalk.
MMEnter@reddit
“URGENT Form won’t submit!”
I called the users Office and got no response, then I called the supervisor. The office lost power.”
Shocker, the web form won’t submit if you have a power outage?
RainStormLou@reddit
Every goddamn power outage we get, somebody calls to report that the internet's down.
Ssakaa@reddit
Laptops are amazing things, aren't they?
RainStormLou@reddit
I would have agreed with you if I saw this yesterday, but I spent my first hour of the day troubleshooting a laptop for a "vip" that keeps shutting down.
It's shutting down during meetings that go on late because someone is holding the power button down, Dr. Asshole! Why the hell would you place a ticket and request it to be escalated? Enjoy the logs I'm copying your supervisor on! "It appears something is making contact with the power button during these meetings, as evidenced here, here, and here, with timestamps."
UnkleRinkus@reddit
I was on a call with a customer yesterday, setting up Single Sign On for our app for them. The local admin account had gotten locked due to too many failed password attempts. Fortunately we had already given admin privs to a user, who was the person reporting the admin account was locked. She was very insistent that she hadn't used all the attempts (our app tells you how many attempts you have left, and started to get mad, demanding that we replace our buggy software. I said, "Well, let's open the Audit Log page to check, it will show us login attempts and their source IP address." Her boss immediately piped up, "No need for that, it's working, let's move on..."
LOL
itishowitisanditbad@reddit
Had a similar one. Manager pushed power button by mistake and tried to say they didn't.
The zoom meeting was recorded and he was on camera in basically fucking 4k specifically leaning in and pushing a single button before seeming to panic and openly said 'Oops wrong button'
"Yeah but I didn't press the power button"
....on camera, undenyably pushing the one button on that section of the laptop and then the laptop did exactly what its expected to do when you push that one button.
"I really don't think I actually hit it though"
Ok dude, but like you did because it shut down. Which is now your complaint to IT?
Fuuuuuuck youuuuuuu
BatouMediocre@reddit
Yeah every power outage spawns stupid ticket. "My phone won't charge", yeah, no shit...
davidgrayPhotography@reddit
"I am number 34 in the queue I would like to talk how does this work?"
We had just set up our helpdesk software and she was the 34th ticket we received. She didn't bother reading the email that said "someone will reply as soon as possible" so she emailed again after an hour or so, making her the 37th ticket and probably confusing the living shit out of her.
She did everything in her power to avoid using the helpdesk until she retired last year. She's also the person who was given a short, 11 step set of instructions to follow, purposefully skipped half of them, then complained that the instructions didn't work. She then complained that our instructions on how to take a screenshot were inaccurate because the print screen button was not in the same place in the diagram.
BCIT_Richard@reddit
I had a user that I did their on boarding process which involved helping them sign into our systems for the first time, queue password resets after first login, they had a create their new password for our mainframe, they wrote it down, and then immediately couldn't login once prompted for the new password. Process usually takes thirty minutes, took an hour and a half with this individual.
davidgrayPhotography@reddit
Years ago the department I used to work for hired a guy. He was a casual, so he'd only be in once a week or so, but he needed his password reset nearly every single time. He was just incapable of remembering his password.
In the end the guy who sits at the desk next to me went to the boss at the time and said "if you don't stop calling in Bob, I will quit". The boss laughed and my coworker said "I'm dead serious". So Bob wasn't brought back in..
..until a year or two ago when he was brought in to another department that has a lot of IT needs. Now he's full time, and while he can thankfully remember his password now, he can't do many of the IT functions required for his job, leading my current boss to sit with him on several occasions and show him how to do stuff.
Those who don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it, and that reminds me of my favourite quote, "those who don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it", which I think is about those who don't learn from the past being doomed to repeat the past.. I think.
repairbills@reddit
Over 20 years ago now, picked up a new service desk ticket and the user says "Someone keeps sending me emails like they know and see me at work." Replied to user and put the ticket to the Security Team and kept an eye on the ticket out of curiosity.
Looking back at this event it was a we're trying to catch the creep moment for the IT team. Was it inside or outside the office. Was it just random person on the internet that was trying to harass her.
The email came from inside. He sent it from his web mail while in a conference room. From talk after the event, from the network team, they said they watched the web traffic around the email address right down to the network jack it came from. They saw the email leave his laptop to the internet and return to the victim's mailbox. Everything was in place and the guy was fired.
I doubt there was enough to charge him harassment because they dealt with him within the week it was reported.
There is another story where the new guy didn't want people to see his monitor and setup his desk so he could see anyone coming into his cube and no one could see his monitor. They could see his web traffic and was fired on day 2.
FlyingFrog300@reddit
2:45 am, the night of our company’s holiday party, our very drunk CEO decided it was a funny “joke” to submit a ticket reporting a coworker for corporate espionage. My on-call employee not realizing the context of a joke followed our lockdown SOP on the reported user resulting in quite the mess the following day. The CEO and I had a very passionate conversation about not joking around using the ticketing system.
BadSausageFactory@reddit
I just went through this on a lesser scale with our call center. hey, I need the most recent list of all employees. if they're not on the list I'm going to remove them.
5 minutes later
hey x, y and z can't get in were they on the list? well no, but..
facepalm
FlyingFrog300@reddit
This happens so frequently. How hard is it to coordinate who’s actually an employee between HR, IT, and the rest of the company. Apparently fairly difficult.
BadSausageFactory@reddit
unrelated, but is that a claypool reference?
Primus sucks
FlyingFrog300@reddit
I’m afraid to admit that I don’t know who/what/where claypool is. I’m assuming I’m about to get roasted.
BadSausageFactory@reddit
no, you're fine. les claypool plays bass and leads Primus, he has a side gig called colonel claypools fearless flying frog brigade.
Primus sucks is the band's slogan. Les came up with it. if you like prog rock slap funk jazz bass, Les is your guy. something between flea and Zappa
FlyingFrog300@reddit
Ah… not a reference. Flying frog is a throwback to a 1/4 scale rc airplane I had that had Kermit the Frog as the pilot. Someone at the airfield coined the nickname and it stuck.
BadSausageFactory@reddit
Kermit is the best
Qeddqesurdug@reddit
“Can you come over and take a look at my dicking station?”
DOCKING. DOCKING STATION.
HR person too
RedOwn27@reddit
PLOT TWIST: Qeddqesurdug and "HR person" are now proud parents.
zeus204013@reddit
hr person: my dock is STUCK...
EvandeReyer@reddit
Haha I’ve had “floopy suck in drive”
Why yes I have been doing this job a while.
Creshal@reddit
"THE RUSSIANS HAVE TAKEN OVER MY COMPUTER!" No context, no elaboration, nothing.
The user had set their Word font to Wingdings.
cmc-seex@reddit
Way back in my career, a system came in where the cdrom would not open. We disassembled it. There was a pancake in it.
boffboffboff@reddit
"Where online can I buy tie-dyed t-shirts?"
One baffled call later, we discovered the user was an intern who thought "the helpdesk" was "the people you call if you're stuck with your job."
Still shaking my head at that one ten years later
apexcrybaby@reddit
"Sewage spilled in PC."
No other details. Turns out, an overhead pipe had burst over a break and that was the way the user chose to notify us.
Brad_from_Wisconsin@reddit
"In light of the failure of my scheduled task to run on my desktop to produce my morning report, I would like to have my computer synced up to my watch instead of the servers in the server room. My watch has a very good battery and even when it is off by a minute or two it never stops keeping time. I sync it with my alarm clock every day. My alarm clock is connected to the power line and has a battery in it so it never stops working. Please contact me so that we can initate these changes before the next catastrophic report failure.
thank you
"
TheGreatNico@reddit
Back when I was on desktop support, we got a ticket "Files fell on desktop" user would not respond to any sort of remote communication as to WTF that meant, and their manager was CC'ing everyone from her manager and our manager all the way up to the CEO, thank you Workday, so I got to hike over to their building, in 110F weather, thank you midwest summer, and lo and behold, the shelf mounted on the wall, that had been fully laden with manilla folders, had fallen on top of their desk.
I told them that's not an IT issue and they needed to call Facilities because last time a manager 'persuaded' -read coerced- a tech to mount something to the wall they drilled into a fire sprinkler riser
CarEmpty@reddit
I thought you were going to say the last time a manager coerced a tech to mount something it fell off the wall onto a desk!
Ssakaa@reddit
My favorite is to play the "Facilities folks are union. I'm not allowed to even consider fixing this. Here's the phone number." card.
TheTechJones@reddit
George's tickets. If you're havening a bad day just go read a couple from George
Wheeljack7799@reddit
Ah... The Chronicles of George. Thanks for the reminder, haven't read through those in a while.
afi44@reddit
This morning -
All within a 30sec window.
Jeff-IT@reddit
“The elevator is making a noise and feels unsafe”
Hello this is the tech department
BerkeleyFarmGirl@reddit
I mean, not unexpected considering how IT is usually holding the bag for facilities (if there is even someone who does "facilities").
IdiosyncraticBond@reddit
Did you try rebooting it?
Jeff-IT@reddit
No it was a DNS issue
BloodFeastMan@reddit
Isn't it always ..
amberoze@reddit
It's the only reason I refuse to self host dns.
Kirides@reddit
You mean other than it would be unsecure by default and be hammered by billions of PCs per second?
frankcastle3@reddit
It has buttons so it must be a computer.
Fitz_2112b@reddit
Lol, I used to be the IT Manager for a company that made the button panels that go in elevators
davidgrayPhotography@reddit
My co-worker's nickname in our group chat was "plug on the other end" after our former boss industry that everything that has a plug on the other end was his responsibility.
So that joke isn't as unrealistic as you might think.
Kahless_2K@reddit
The building has stairs. Closing ticket.
zakabog@reddit
"Get on and press the emergency call button, the person you reach should be able to help"
Norphus1@reddit
I’ve worked for various educational establishments across all levels the UK. One of the places I worked for was an FE college. One of the funniest tickets we got was from an English teacher. She was complaining that the letter on the keyboard between Y and Z wasn’t working.
Whichever way you look at it, it makes no sense!
downundarob@reddit
obscure keyboard layout perhaps?
anonymousITCoward@reddit
When i worked at a dialup isp, i got a support email that someone was stuck in an elevator... the person wasn't a client, and our building didn't have an elevator...
Sk1rm1sh@reddit
Would be great if the ticket was just:
Like they just wanted you to know, statistically that's probably true most of the time.
BatouMediocre@reddit
"I'm gonna break your face"
This was from a junior manager who was pissed that I asked him to make a ticket instead of always asking me stuff during my coffee break.
statix138@reddit
Had a ticket once in the days before Teams and Skype to Business that just said "Lync", nothing else. I just closed the ticket and the Lync ticket will forever be a mystery.
Mariale_Pulseway@reddit
reading these I only have one question: are people ok?
Nikt_No1@reddit
Come urgently!! I can't drink my coffee!1!1
(Power was out in the building, and device was coffee express...)
GinAndKeystrokes@reddit
I'd that's the first step in any DR plan. Generator to get coffee going.
WhoThenDevised@reddit
"Can you make the radio in the warehouse go louder? We can't hear it in the back of the warehouse."
Turns out someone bought a crappy internet radio device with one tiny speaker, going full blast but not loud enough to be heard in the back of the warehouse.
"No sorry, that device is not in our CMDB so we don't support it."
"But it's INTERNET radio! That's the IT department, right?"
Responsible-Slide-95@reddit
"Ivreceived an email saying a message sent to me has been quarantined by the email filter. Can you please release it to me ASAp? It's important I receive it. I have checked with the sender and it is definitely pornography."
User forgot to type "not"
stonecoldcoldstone@reddit
"it just stopped working" well yes drop damage into a muddy puddle would make it stop working
hasselhoffman91@reddit
PRINTER
that's all. That was the ticket. Just printer in all caps.
EvandeReyer@reddit
But at the same time, you understood completely.
tonkats@reddit
"I need help RIGHT AWAY with my projector because it's not working again and I have a class but I really have to go to the bathroom because I have a UTI and my doctor told me to drink lots of cranberry juice"
Ssakaa@reddit
Ok, as weird and potentially awkward as it is to get that much detail, especially when "class" could easily imply that ticket's getting picked up by a student employee... that is MUCH better than leaving out the "I'm probably going to be in the restroom when you get here" bit, so you hurry to their classroom to find they're AWOL, making you wonder exactly how urgent this really was.
toycoa@reddit
Speaking of Only Fans, it reminds me of a time I threw my young co-worker under the bus. Our director asked “what’s Only Fans?”
I said so-and-so knows and I left the room
Ssakaa@reddit
That is evil. Well played.
Access_Denied316@reddit
Subject: Computer Body: It’s stuck in spin mode
Bacch@reddit
Note that I am not a sysadmin, I joined the sub when I was studying to possibly become one, but I manage a support team that handles external tickets, so we see some strange shit. So much of it. I work for a charity that helps fund pediatric hospitals. We got a ticket about a peer to peer fundraising campaign we were running, wherein the top fundraiser would win something or another from a partner we were working with on said campaign. One of the participants decided it was a good idea to raffle off an AR-15 for donations--and started promoting it the day after the Uvalde school shooting. That was a fun one.
We get unhinged shit all the time, like people submitting four page conspiracy theory rants talking about mind control, the CIA stalking them because they uncovered the Illuminati, and wackier shit than that. One of my team used to work for a mental health facility and one of these was so unhinged and yet coherently written that he called in a wellness check on the individual through their local PD, because he'd seen shit like that before and it was telltale of someone having a psychotic break.
Capt91@reddit
"Can't you hack into Facebook?"
Said he was kidding but you know he wasn't really.
Littleboof18@reddit
Worker received a Patagonia sweater from the company, but it was the wrong size. They called in to the help desk and asked us to exchange it for the right size lol.
lechango@reddit
"Can you take a look at our printer? It was renamed 'Glory Hole' 'Location: Your Mom'"
Some genius decided to throw the printer on a public IP open to the world...
RainStormLou@reddit
How? There have to be like 78 failure points that just got demolished for this to be possible.
davidgrayPhotography@reddit
Have you never dealt with management before? They'd approve that shit even after 20 IT techs said it was a bad idea
RainStormLou@reddit
Yeah, but I worked out an arrangement with our top dogs.
Hell yeah, I'll do whatever stupid ass thing you want me to do, but the first thing that you're going to do is reply to my email telling you all the reasons why it's a shitty idea with an acknowledgment that you are overruling me, acknowledging what I'm telling you, and you're accepting the responsibility.
In this case though, I don't know how someone gets the ability, training, and access to forward a printer to a public IP and publish it to their devices to where it would show up on other machines. That kind of shit only happens if you're both IT Director and Help Desk Attendant.
lechango@reddit
Well allow me to explain. This was at a small shitty hotel, a lot of these places don't actually have any real IT, they just have contracts with vendors for each individual system, well some of them at least. So how do they manage their networks you might ask? Well that's the thing, they don't, at one point someone set up a router and switch for their computers, but since then the property has gone through 3 different management companies and by the time it got to the current one nobody had been given access to the router or switches, but hey the computers still have internet so whatever.
Now one current contract all these hotels do always have is for their guest network, and of course they have a router and generally a small block of public IPs available. So in this case, at least my best guess, is they called into the MSP (us) that only has RMM agents on their PCs, and a list of a few vendors, and asked to get a new printer setup. So having no way to setup a new device on the admin network, they called up the guest network vendor and asked for a port to plugin to and IP, the vendor said sure and spun up an port on their gateway no questions asked, then they just plugged in the printer and set it static to the public IP provided. Then the helpdesk guy simply remotes into the computers in the back office and clicks add printer and types in the IP, voila, it works.
HarryPauler@reddit
The urinal is broken.
Cheese_Monkey42@reddit
One guy thought our prefixes to our email address were not secure. So he wanted the email address teacum@domain.com
Never did anything with the ticket. Left it open until he left.
visibleunderwater_-1@reddit
This is The Way. Leave the ticket open until the user no longer works there.I've done that half a dozen times at my current job. Luckily, once the ticket gets to me there is no SLA, it's "I'll get to it when I get to it" as most of my actual job is converting federal regulations into actionable policies, procedures, auditing tasks, GPOs, etc. Your ticket that you want me to vet some random Outlook Calendar plugin is very low on that totem pole.
Jackarino@reddit
“how do i use excel?”
KforKerosene@reddit
Lots… recently though?
“Get Microsoft on the phone I want to speak to the manager.”
If any of you have had to deal with old licenses 2013 era, some 2016 too… they had to be bound to a Microsoft account. Customer refused 365 licenses due to monthly costs and questioned where our old “owned” copies went. I reminded him that he wanted them under his personal outlook account for “safe keeping”. Luckily had this in an email. Obviously anything personal is no longer in my wheelhouse and thus not documented.
He has no idea what email that is or would have been, let alone a password. Very upset, demanded solution. He asked me for “Microsofts Number”.
So if you are fortunate enough to get ahold of a real person, you will likely be told to get bent.
A day later I received said ticket, Need Microsofts Manager asap.
Keks had
Wizard_IT@reddit
Someone once submitted a ticket back when I was on the Helpdesk which was a complaint about the air quality outside... Not sure what the point of the ticket was but I informed her there was not much we could do.
MaelstromFL@reddit
Ticket title: Cannot create support ticket...
moosew168@reddit
"The microwave stopped working"
_WCT@reddit
For one department, a ticket came in requesting to disable the surfing game edge://surf from Edge, but the manager who submitted the ticket specifically said to keep the jumping dino chrome://dino in Chrome