A little acknowledged benefit of getting older?
Posted by Miserable_Smoke_6719@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 139 comments
We know that with age comes wisdom, experience, and perspective. We know that older people have learned to let things go and care less about what others think. But what else? What is something great about getting older that doesn’t get acknowledged as often?
Mine: I absolutely love having long histories with friends—being able to say “remember that Greek place we tried 15 years ago where the waiter was super hot?” There is a real joy in this.
I also love hearing from people from many years ago, people I really enjoy but don’t speak to regularly. An old friend from my 20s who I haven’t spoken to or seen in over a decade emailed me on New Year’s. It was so nice to hear from him.
Ok, your turn!
fridayimatwork@reddit
I have finally learned to pick my battles
Universespitoon@reddit
Yup.
This is not that hill.
rahnbj@reddit
Well said. What scares me a little is when I do run into that proverbial hill. I’m much better at ignoring BS and just moving on, but it can get ugly when I feel strongly about something and my mouth tries to cash checks hat my body can’t cash.
Universespitoon@reddit
And that's when the hill becomes very real.
And the difficult question is applied; Is THIS that hill...
In the moment it may very well could be. But in the long run it's not worth it.
That's the conundrum and the difficulty that needs to be surpassed, and in that moment you will find peace.
Otherwise known as DGAF.
rahnbj@reddit
Yeah, I agree with you, I’m just not there yet.
Universespitoon@reddit
Then enjoy the journey friend, today will never come again.
The-all-seeing-pie@reddit
This is a good one… I’m more likely to cut em down with a funny/sarcastic remark than get into it these days. I’m tired man, take your bullshit elsewhere.
SuperCookie22@reddit
💯
Glimmerofinsight@reddit
Yes, THIS! I just don't care enough to give energy to people that don't deserve my time.
The-all-seeing-pie@reddit
Nothing really fazes (phases??) me anymore… I bounced from one shitstorm to another most of my life, getting all worked up about every last thing. Navigated all manner of fucked up situations.
Nowadays the room could be on fire, I’d barely break a sweat.
ApatheistHeretic@reddit
"Huh, would you look at that! That couch burns faster than I thought it would. Guess I should do something about that...". I could see that playing out.
The-all-seeing-pie@reddit
There may be a slight raise of the eyebrow… that’s all you’re getting
DollChiaki@reddit
“Faze” is correct.
The-all-seeing-pie@reddit
Thanks… swear I’m getting less intelligent the older I get
DollChiaki@reddit
Nah, you’re good. When you see it wrong all the time, you lose the ability to identify the right spelling with any confidence.
The-all-seeing-pie@reddit
I forgot the word for table last week. True story.
Opus-the-Penguin@reddit
Well? What is it?
The-all-seeing-pie@reddit
I resorted to ‘flat thing, four legs… you put stuff on it’.
handsomeape95@reddit
People get upset at me because I don't get upset at things.
The-all-seeing-pie@reddit
Yes!
Dick-Ninja@reddit
I've developed that skill as well. My kids tell me I don't have a pulse. 😂
JackpineSauvage@reddit
I love how my taste in art, literature, and music have expanded with age. Don't get me wrong, will still stop at Bevis and Butthead occasionally, but I do enjoy the diversity that comes with age and experience.
Doublestack2411@reddit
Same. I find myself getting into a lot of different music now. I mostly listened to metal my whole life, but now I'm discovering a lot of 80s bands I never dove deep into growing up, like the Talking Heads. Now I'm obsessed with them.
mkstot@reddit
Check out Stop Making Sense their concert film. I got lucky in one regard as those who I grew up around has excellent musical taste.
Doublestack2411@reddit
That's what got me into them 3 months ago. "Life During Wartime" popped up on my Youtube feed for some reason. I was curious b/c David Bryne looked like Cillian Murray from the thumbnail, but the song blew me away. I knew their original hit songs, but that's about it. The live stuff sounded so much better. It's lead me down a rabbit hole and now I really enjoy a lot of their albums and songs. Their other live albums is fantastic as well.
mkstot@reddit
I ain’t one for poetry, ain’t one for prose
Ain’t one for the scent of a springtime rose
But there is one fact that I do know
I sure get a kick out of that Beavis and Butt-head show
memememe81@reddit
Miserable_Smoke_6719@reddit (OP)
Right, not being caught up in what liking something says about you. Good one
Ok-Breadfruit-2897@reddit
MOney, its nice to have money and not worry
DangerKitty555@reddit
Not giving a fat baby f*ck how others perceive you…ITS SOOOO FREEING!
Cass_Q@reddit
It's so nice. I was so anxious in high school about blending in and not sticking out...it was SO important back then. Now I'm still weird as hell, but don't give a fuck.
DangerKitty555@reddit
So real! High School is brutal 😒 I think that’s why kiddos idealize there 20s so much, it’s a mental goalpost to survive those years (for some, usually the unpopular children)….but the reality is real living and actually feeling comfortable in the skin you’re in can take a long ass time….
Your 20s is for discovering who you are…
Your 30s are for gaining confidence…
Your 40s is when the magic really starts to blossom internally, IMHO 🤓
Of course, these are just general sentiments and not everyone matures this way but I’d love to see normalizing embracing aging as the gift it is
Cass_Q@reddit
I'm mid forties right now and this is so true
hippiestitcher@reddit
THIS, and that gif is perfect.
DangerKitty555@reddit
Isn’t it tho? Long Live Betty!
✌🏼😎🖖🏼
BlueAndMoreBlue@reddit
Damn right
M1ssBehav3@reddit
Perspective over perception.
PetroleumVNasby@reddit
Finally being taken seriously. It still continuously surprises me. Like: “Look man, you’re really not going to make me wait in that line just to pick up this item my wife ordered and paid for last week.”
“Of course not, sir. Follow me and I’ll get you taken care of right now.” (This happened over Christmas)
Still knocks me out.
Miserable_Smoke_6719@reddit (OP)
Amazing! And yes!!
coastalrains@reddit
Being treated nicer because I’m their mom’s age lol
iamjaidan@reddit
Not being ruled by your hormones. I made so many bad and sometimes hurtful decisions because I was thinking with the wrong part of my body.
Miscellaneous-health@reddit
This! Youth is wasted on the hormonal. I wish I could go back and be a young adult with my current level of hormones.
daisy0808@reddit
You are not experiencing perimenopause, are you? For many of us, reverse puberty is hell.
Miscellaneous-health@reddit
I went through menopause last year, my only symptom was fatigue - I know I’m very lucky.
daisy0808@reddit
I'm six years of hot flashes, severe mood (depression), heavier painful periods, fatigue, brain fog... I take progesterone, and it helps tremendously - all the symptoms. I thought I was going insane until I learned more about my options from a great dr.
Miscellaneous-health@reddit
Oh my hell, you poor thing! I’m glad you found a great Dr. Best wishes for better days (and years) ahead.
viskoviskovisko@reddit
Yeah but now you start making decisions based on your knees, lower back, and gallbladder.
iamjaidan@reddit
Those tend to be more defensible and less problematic decisions 🙂
Miserable_Smoke_6719@reddit (OP)
What part is that - spleen? lol
iamjaidan@reddit
If I was lucky it was my spleen
TenuousOgre@reddit
I get to choose how complicated my life is now. Saying no is part of it. Not being pressured to “accomplish” for every moment of my day is part of it, not caring what others think is part of it. My hobbies are fewer but I spend more time and get more enjoy,ent out of them.
knuckles_n_chuckles@reddit
I was promised I’d get smarter. This did not happen. So I suppose I’ll just have to get less care-ey.
lawstandaloan@reddit
You probably don't have to worry about sleeping too late cause if you've anything like me, you're waking up before 5 am every day. Whether you want to or not
handsomeape95@reddit
I had a weird day recently. I slept in until 6 and thought something was wrong with me. Had an inital panic moment like I was in college again and slept through my first class.
nborders@reddit
I get the house to myself for just a few hours. Best part of the day.
rahnbj@reddit
I’ve been on Reddit for years and just discovered this subreddit recently, it’s like looking into a mirror reading it. So many things that are spot on. This included, I’m reading this and no one is awake except the cat, so I’m a target of his BS now.
rahnbj@reddit
Haha, ya the only thing I need to set an alarm for anymore is an early flight. It’s annoying
KingCurtzel@reddit
Yeah I can do 5 or 6 hrs sleep at most now.
EonJaw@reddit
Haha... I have the opposite experience. Much harder to get up in time to start work these days, and then fighting drowsiness until about two hours before clocking out. Then I have a hard time getting to sleep before 2am or so.
UndahDooha@reddit
Cooling hormones. You'd think it would suck to lose a bit of virility, but I was borderline priapic until I was 40. Sexually obsessed. It's kinda nice to have that need diminish.
yangstyle@reddit
For me, the best thing about getting older from a professional perspective is having the understanding, knowledge, and experience to use failure as a tool.
For example, in late 2023, some younger colleagues who were promoted to our leadership team due to attrition behaved as one would expect people who suddenly have power without knowledge to behave. They started micromanaging people at the Director level below them and were generally disliked.
There was one initiative that I knew would not work (had seen it fail at another company ten years ago) that was championed by the new guys. Truth be told, they were making life hard for me, too, because they were giving the entire leadership team a bad name. So, I told them my area of responsibility would not be immediately participating due to having multiple projects underway, tight deadlines, and needing to stick with our strategic roadmap.
They went ahead with the initiative and, as expected, there was a lot of noise and it led to some resignations, including one of my peers who was of the recently promoted. I now run his area in addition to mine and negotiated a nice raise due to the increased responsibilities.
I've not told and don't plan to tell anyone that I knew it was bound to fail. The knowledge that I helped some people learn a lesson is very satisfying.
Miserable_Smoke_6719@reddit (OP)
Really interesting points here, hadn’t considered the professional stuff but absolutely!!!
Sufficient_Shop_7776@reddit
When I was younger I struggled to last very long during sex, now I have to really try not to last for an hour, lol. Life is so strange sometimes.
Miserable_Smoke_6719@reddit (OP)
😱😘
EggplantEast847@reddit
Single-Tasking. I’m tired of multitasking so I enjoy each win one at a time these days. Or as comedian Ron White says “sometimes you just gotta shoot the gator closest to the boat”
rahnbj@reddit
I don’t remember that line, must be from one I haven’t heard yet, thanks for the tip!
Feeling-Ad-2490@reddit
Could give one flying fuck what people think of me.
spacetstacy@reddit
It's so freeing! I'm never embarrassed anymore. It's great! My kids don't always think so, though. That's fun!
goingloopy@reddit
I deeply love not giving a f*ck what people think. I wore a tiara and a long dress (thanks it had pockets) on my 50th in Vegas. The hot security guard gave me free drink coupons. It was amazing. I felt totally fancy and not remotely self conscious.
I have purchased crowns for my BFFs, but they are not quite ready.
rahnbj@reddit
Haha, ready to set them free!
rahnbj@reddit
I like topics (podcasts, shows) now that require some consideration. I don’t mind taking time to think on a subject. Although I have no education in Law there is a podcast that I listen to that is all about court cases and I’m absolutely fascinated by it. Wonder if I missed my calling. That contrasts with my younger self that didn’t want to think, just tell me ‘how far away the sun is’. I was curious but didn’t want to take time to kick around anything with grey area. I enjoy that now
sideways92@reddit
I'm truly enjoying mentoring younger colleagues at work. I do a very particular type of highly specialized work in a specialized field, and there just aren't that many of us working in the field. Seeing new colleagues come in, working to build their skills as well as learning new techniques from them is turning out to be a real joy.
BlueAndMoreBlue@reddit
Right on — was enjoying the same until getting laid off recently but it’s their loss.
The severance package was noice
jtphilbeck@reddit
Was that noise or ice? Simply NIIIICCCEE? You decision.
BlueAndMoreBlue@reddit
Noooooice
Sensitive-Question42@reddit
I appreciate young women and their sense of fashion and style (I’m 48F, so I’m not being a creep!)
I love it when I see body confidence in young women, and I love how the 90s are “retro” right now, and how young women interpret that fashion.
When I was a teen/young adult in the 90s, 60s and 70s fashion was in. I remember how fun it was to make retro your own thing.
Queen-Marla@reddit
Seconding (thirding, fifteenthing) the freedom of no longer caring about what others think of me. The final piece of that (aka expectations of how women should look & dress) got a boost from living in Chicago for a while. Shave my legs? I don’t think so. Wear makeup? Nope. Change out of leggings & a t-shirt? Ha. The last expectation hanging around (hehe) is wearing a bra in public, but it’s gonna be a bralette. I did the whole hair/makeup/outfit thing for so long. I’m done.
Another thing I’m learning to accept, not really enjoy, per se, is that I cannot control or impact what others do. I have to accept that other grownups are going to do shit that’s harmful to themselves, and no amount of texted links from valid sites or discouragement is going to change that. My brother wants to eat and drink himself to an early grave? My mom wants to ignore a pre-diabetic diagnosis? My sister refuses to try omeprazole instead of eating Tums 24/7? All I can do is be supportive when they do make positive steps. (My own issues with diabetes have helped my mom make some changes, but she still argues with me about why overdoing carbs is bad or which vegetables should be in-moderation-only.)
hippiestitcher@reddit
Yes on the giving up control and not offering advice anymore (especially with adult children). :X
Miserable_Smoke_6719@reddit (OP)
This is such a hard lesson that I am still learning. God it’s really hard when others make terrible choices and you can’t do anything.
Queen-Marla@reddit
I know that I have done it to myself as well, and I’m sure I frustrated soooo many people who just wanted to help! But knowing that doesn’t make it any easier to accept, hahaha.
DesignNormal9257@reddit
Not being a target of predatory behavior from men.
hippiestitcher@reddit
This. I love being basically invisible to men now.
Unable_Eye_7108@reddit
It took about a year after I retired. I woke up one morning and I noticed the stress was GONE. I never knew how much I had until it wasn't there. I felt like a kid again. I do not want it back.
tmhowzit@reddit
I'm actually enjoying forgetting things like people's names.
Mumchkin@reddit
Realizing that growing older is mandatory, but growing up is optional.
Adventurous_Bad_3421@reddit
Confidence. It’s like a drug to me now. Confidence that I can handle anything thrown at me because I’ve seen it all before. Confidence that I know the right thing to do. Confidence to admit I don’t know the answer. Confidence that I know when to speak up and when to keep my mouth shut (for the moment).
Formal-Individual539@reddit
If I fall asleep before midnight on NYE, big whoop. At least I ain't hungover the whole day.
ted_anderson@reddit
I get a lot of forgiveness for my mistakes at work. The young people at work look at each other and think, "Geez.. can we really call him a dumbass? I'd feel so guilty about that!"
But I was at work today talking with my millennial supervisor who complemented me for a job well done because I'm very good at "holding down the fort" when our department faces conflict with other departments and outside vendors. And I'm not really doing anything that I wouldn't ordinarily do. I stick to whatever the contract requires and I unapologetically call out any breaches or violations. And I guess my age and wisdom helps me to understand when it's appropriate to push back and when it's better to go with the flow.
Taminella_Grinderfal@reddit
The one thing about social media that I did like was the ability to connect with old friends. I lived in many areas across the country and had little pockets of acquaintances, most of those people would have faded out of my life.
VermicelliEfficient9@reddit
I receive more joy in my life when I watch younger kids just playing and not having a care in life. I didn’t have many days like that as a child. When I was a younger man, I think I resented seeing children so happy and care free, but now that I’m older and have less life ahead of me, I have become more care free.
Flowerdriver@reddit
My favorite so far (46f) is i only need to shave above my knees like once a month!
Miserable_Smoke_6719@reddit (OP)
💯
Fun-Track-3044@reddit
I think the most amazing wave of technology advances was 1860-1950. From horses to steam engines to electric motors and gasoline/diesel engines to radio and TV.
Gen X occupied the core of the the second most amazing wave - from the fully analog world to the fully digital world. We started with mechanical stuff and were the first native children and young adults as all the major computer advances came out.
And after all that, what I think is great about getting older - is deciding for myself, "fuck this computer stuff, I choose to revert to the analog." Yes, I'm on a computer now, and all day at work. But when I choose to live how *I* want to live, it's cast iron pans, gasoline engines, camp fires and tents in the woods, cooking from scratch, an automatic winding watch (only because I don't yet have a hand-wind only model, they're now rare and expensive), newspapers and radio (OK, papers on the laptop and podcasts and Spotify but close enough).
The older I get, the more I realize that there was more meaning in the old ways than we Gen X gave them credit. Much more meaning than the Millennial and Gen Z way of life. I relish getting back to the analog world as much as I can - it was more complete and satisfying. All this computer crap - it's fleeting and ephemeral. Sharpening an axe to go chop wood to go make a camp fire to go drink some beers with my brother - that's the good stuff in life.
Dry-Daikon4068@reddit
Since time moves faster, long car trips don't seem as boring.
purewhlight@reddit
Appreciating the small things and simplicity
superpananation@reddit
hermitnpjs@reddit
I no longer feel that insane need to have the house always spotless. Screw it, I live here. I still don't like clutter, but could care less if company sees some dust.
totallysurpriseme@reddit
Weird things:
We eat less so we split a meal if we eat out.
I can wear camo pants, bright pink coat and blue hiking boots and not care if I look ridiculous.
If I wanna stay up all night then, damnit, that’s what I’m gonna do. I can wake up when I want.
Separate_Today_8781@reddit
I don't get hit on by random assholes nearly as much
redjessa@reddit
Not just caring less what others think, but all my f**ks are gone. It's awesome.
TemperatureTop246@reddit
I no longer give a shit about a lot of things.
Doublestack2411@reddit
I'm an expert in detecting bullshit and how ppl think. So easy to spot shitty ppl so it's why it pains me when so many worship them. Not being ignorant has only made me depressed by just how many are.
Flashy_Watercress398@reddit
I'm an older parent (I'm 55, my "baby" will be 13 next month.)
I absolutely adore the things that I learn from my kids. Gen Alpha slang and music. Gen Z attitude regarding social norms. Kendrick Lamar's utterly brutal diss tracks versus Drake. Etc.
Getting older has given me the absolute freedom to embrace whatever makes me content. I grew up thinking that my elders were supposed to have the answers, and that my point of view as a youngster probably wasn't important. My children have taught me that I was wrong in that assumption.
I now know enough to know that I'm not supposed to assume that I know everything. That's very freeing.
MLUTEHEA@reddit
My AARP card, wearing it out!
JanaT2@reddit
I just don’t give a shit anymore and it’s fucking great
Mountain_Horse_7516@reddit
I love saying no with no explanation.
I love knowing my worth - knowing what I bring to the table with both humility and confidence.
I love knowing what I am capable of all by myself.
evilgemini50@reddit
I don't care what other people think, at least not about me.
I have outgrown so many self-inflicted problems that used to hold me back (SO many).
Much more comfortable in my skin. Honestly, I was hotter 20 years ago, but i struggled with my self-image, and now I'm cool with my look.
Fruits of my labor: money, security, relationships. I am not struggling anymore, and I hope I dont have to deal with low bank balances, shitty people in my life, or wondering what's next. Great husband, fancy homes, car, pets... yay, about time!
Justaman66@reddit
Not to sound vain but I have been on fitness journey lately getting back into shape and feel that even at 44yo I can’t feel attractive, for myself and not caring what other people think, but when I get compliments it’s a bonus.
Frigidspinner@reddit
Worrying about missing opportunities
If there were major forks in the road, I have already chosen my path and now I can just enjoy the journey
Miserable_Smoke_6719@reddit (OP)
Very true
aduirne@reddit
I am content to be in my own company. I feel no need to find someone to complete my life. I don't hate my body or myself anymore.
Miserable_Smoke_6719@reddit (OP)
Amazing
HangryPangs@reddit
Just being content at home and with family. Being financially stable and enjoying the little things.
forevermore4315@reddit
In my case, most, if not all my money is now for me to spend on myself.
BlueAndMoreBlue@reddit
I’m learning more about history (it seemed so boring in school) and also learning new languages.
Gotta keep the old brain pan simmering
Miserable_Smoke_6719@reddit (OP)
Yes, this. It’s so interesting esp when you realize things that seemed sooo long ago as a kid aren’t actually
skiddlyd@reddit
I think it’s more of a twist on what you mentioned, but we have memories. Years and years of memories of people who have come and gone. We even have memories of being various ages. I remember being 5, 10. My mother walking me to elementary school for the very first day. That time at the lake. Those songs like “quit dragging my heart around” while waiting at the bus stop to go to high school on the first day. I remember buying my first beer legally. I remember graduating high school. I remember bootcamp. I remember getting my first real job and all those stupid things I did. I remember getting my drivers license and my first car. I remember all those improper old I saw the very last time. Young people don’t have all that and the older you get the more you have.
Miserable_Smoke_6719@reddit (OP)
Very lovely way to put it
LifeguardRepulsive91@reddit
Years back, I worked with a lady who was 15-20 years older than me. She told me the best thing about getting older is that one day you realize you no longer care what other people think about you and that it's liberating.
She was correct.
Jameson-Mc@reddit
Body is broken down, mind is weary, lost friends and family along the way to suicide, MV accidents, med probs people feel more selfish than ever, greed runs the world - sorry man glad u had some distant friend call but I’ve got nothing for you. I am gonna have to have surgery soon - I miss being younger and living in an analog world.
EonJaw@reddit
Sorry brother. Hang in there, man!
FrozenH2oh@reddit
I have chilled out. A lot. I have gained perspective. I have learned to look at both sides of an argument. Things are not nearly as one-or-the-other as they used to be.
allislost77@reddit
Hopefully, wiser.
icechaosruffledgrous@reddit
I'll die sooner
OriginalTKS@reddit
I love being able to tell an employer to kma, peace, I’m out. I’m financially fine and I don’t have to put up with their bs drama.
SuperCookie22@reddit
Right? I’m too tired to panic
SuperCookie22@reddit
This was supposed to be a reply lower down but whatever
Upsy-Daisies@reddit
I love caring less about what people think about what I say and more about how comfortable and secure I am with myself.
TheShortWhiteGuy@reddit
Listen to my gut, I'm good.
DJSauvage@reddit
Senior trip! Paris! That cafe! Jean Luc!
Miserable_Smoke_6719@reddit (OP)
Oh wow had totally forgotten about this. Love it
Science_Teecha@reddit
Is that a yogurt commercial?
DJSauvage@reddit
https://youtu.be/cigjQzSzxBw?si=GsC9qd0DGKLcEC-r
Science_Teecha@reddit
I love the comfort level of my relationships. I love having decades of history with people I love.
Science_Teecha@reddit
Omg, I was close!!
One-Earth9294@reddit
That's only a benefit if you have friends.
allflour@reddit
I was never socialized properly, always pushed on people. So I’m still Elaine-dancing-awkward. 1 friend from the 90’s has kept up with me and I love exchanging life shots via texts.
MaximumJones@reddit
I have nothing left to prove, nothing I think I NEED to accomplish, I have become more successful than I ever dreamed.
The only concern I have in this life now is to make sure that my grandkids have the best life possible, and that they are prepared for the fucked up world they are inheriting.
I guess I finally learned to care way more about other people than myself and my own goals. I sacrificed a lot for my kids, but was still caught up in the whole "make a name for myself" thing.
My kids joke all the time about how their kids have it way better. Well, duh.
I love my kids, but I like my grandkids way better. They are cool as fuck.
Providence451@reddit
I am unfailingly calm and steady in a crisis. I don't panic, I immediately handle the situation and take care of my patrons and my team.
I fall apart when I get home!