Had a rare win, hunting down new employees is not my job.
Posted by cptadder@reddit | sysadmin | View on Reddit | 283 comments
Simple setup, a new user out fancy new head of media relations was due to start yesterday. I've had their laptop ready to go since last week, account logged in temp password setup and a company cell phone ready to go.
I spent most of yesterday deep in an equipment prep rollout and we just started equipment again after a six month freeze so people are circling IT trying to see if they can get shinny new laptops or desktop which are honestly last year stock we bought to help Dell clear out it's warehouses.
But all day I wondered where was that new media manager?
Turns out as per the angry meeting I got pulled into between the director of IT, the department head and the HR manager said new employee was brought in taken on a tour then left to set up in her brand new office and left there for four hours before she went home on her own because IT never showed up to setup her equipment.
Cue an angry meeting about how IT dropped the ball and as the bus barreled toward me my saint of an IT Director asks the simple question of who told IT that said media manager was onsite.
Eyes turned to look a department head to said she sure she left I message l, I offer to pull yesterday call logs. She declines and tells us we need to do better, head of HR steps in and asks bluntly why she deviated from on onboarding process (we have one, no one ever follows it except HR who wrote it). Four more minutes are spent in attempt blame shifting and ass covering before the meeting is called to an end.
And now I sit enjoying a nicer morning than I expected. Hey at least I get to meet that new employee today assuming yesterday didn't scare them off.
circatee@reddit
Rather interesting that HR created and deployed an onboarding process, to only not follow it. We suffer a similar challenge.
cptadder@reddit (OP)
Clarification, they are the only department that does follow it. Finance, our engineers, the executives, every other department either ignores it or just follows it on a manager by manager basis.
When a new HR person is hired, we will get a notification a week ahead of time, sometimes two or three. We will know what software they need. We will know what hardware they need and we will know what office or cubicle to put it in and what all sundry stuff they need the week before at minimum.
Well, traditionally, every other department will tell us at 4:00 p.m. on a Friday that they have someone starting on a Monday or more likely 8:00 a.m. on a Monday that they have someone starting at 9:00 a.m. on a Monday.
BuffaloRedshark@reddit
Nice, both your boss and HR defended you.
cptadder@reddit (OP)
Our it director since he has been hired has been amazing. One of his first actions coming on board was fighting for pay raise. It's for the entire department.
He's a rare gem
heapsp@reddit
he wont last long :P
jFailed@reddit
Lost an IT VP like that once. He was a staunch defender of his people to other executives... so they got him demoted and moved to another department.
attgig@reddit
You follow that director where ever he goes...
SirEDCaLot@reddit
I think he knows which side his bread is buttered on :D
WoodenHarddrive@reddit
I butter my bread on both sides, I don't care if it's messy. We all know the bread is just a delivery system for the sweet sweet butter.
DeifniteProfessional@reddit
I've been buying this butter from a local farm recently and it's so delicious, I've been eating butter sandwiches. I love butter.
SirEDCaLot@reddit
Easier solution- make sure the butter is at room temp or warmer so it's easily spreadable. Then butter the bread right after the toaster pops so it's still warm, and put a nice thick coat. That way it melts most of the way through and you still get the optimal butter to bread ratio but the outer edge of the bottom side of the toast is still dry.
OptimalCynic@reddit
This man crumpets
WoodenHarddrive@reddit
Yeah please have your people contact my people, there are a lot of butter related topics I'd like to get your take on.
old_skul@reddit
Go on.
Zenkin@reddit
Really taking "butter fingers" to an aspirational level.
Stonewalled9999@reddit
I'm speechless that HR actually got off their a$$ and did sometime (anything at all)
rotoddlescorr@reddit
HR is very adept at executive politics and protects the people who can fire them. Most likely the IT Director has a lot of clout and the ear of the CEO.
JustNilt@reddit
Well the procedure that wasn't followed was HR's, so I suspect it was more that than anything else which spurred them to action.
nighthawke75@reddit
That should have never happened if the manager did their job By The Book. Instead, they are facing a meeting with HR, AND their own boss over this.
mazobob66@reddit
It is amazing/dumbfounding to me that so many hiring managers take a "hands off" approach after they have communicated to HR that someone is hired.
I'm like "It is YOUR employee. Don't you care whether they get shown to their office, shown the building and its' amenities, introduced to people that are seeing a new face, etc..."
Nope. Those hands-off managers just let everyone else onboard that new employee. Then when they finally meet the new hire, they just expect that the new employee is ready to start working.
We had a secretary who took it upon herself to guide all new hires. Then when she got tired of the bullshit around here and left, we had to have multiple meetings to figure out who was going to do what. It is amazing how much everyone wants the IT dept to do their job for them. We had to push back and say "Why is the manager not getting involved here?" and "Why is this falling on us? Isn't this a payroll thing, and once they are in the system, all these other things are automatically enrolled?"
ThatOldGuyWhoDrinks@reddit
Had a meeting about this just before Christmas.
I'm on site IT. Of the staff that's guaranteed to be on site we have the receptionist, mail and print room, property and workplace and me.
I was told I needed to start doing office tours prior to my normal hour and half IT induction session.
I refused. They were already taking me off thr floor for an 90 mins - another 30 mins and its a long time and it's not my job description anyway.
Property and workplace do it but they are unhappy about it
formal-shorts@reddit
90 mins for IT induction??
Just document it all in your knowledgebase and send them a link in the onboarding email. That's a giant waste of time to babysit someone that they could read on their own.
lazylion_ca@reddit
There's an urban legend about a guy who got hired and showed up for his first day, got his badge, shown to his desk, etc. But in between his hire date and his start date, the entire team he was to be part of was dissolved and let go. Since he hadn't started yet, his name wasn't on the team list, so he didn't get a dismissal. Since he wasn't on any other list, no manager or supervisor knew he was there, so no one ever gave him anything to do. For years he collected a pay check, got regular raises, and spent the time writing novels.
The secret only got out cause he ended up making friends with the IT guys who showed one day to swap out the phones.
BemusedBengal@reddit
They shouldn't have snitched
Evisra@reddit
Yeah I’m all for WFH, but we’ve routinely got supervisors magically WFH on the day new hires start. So everyone else gets to babysit them - beyond stupid
Help_Stuck_In_Here@reddit
Bold assumption that they tell HR they hired someone. Which tends to be a critical part of ensuring an employee gets hired.
mazobob66@reddit
So true. I work at a university, and this does happen, but mostly with student hires. So I left it out of my reply because it seemed to me that it was an academic-institution-only thing.
vroddba@reddit
Offbording can be just as bad...
One if our SOX IT controls was timely removal of users upon termination. We even built a custom form in our help desk for HR to use.
Cue to HR eliminating an entire weekend shift of 12 people. A week goes by and no ticket. I had to remind HR twice to put in that ticket for those people.
You guessed it, IT was dinged on our audit for those 12 plus 5 more cases of us not getting informed.
I tried to no avail to get the control changed From: "upon termination " To: "upon notification from HR"
Glad to be out of corporate IT management and into SQL consulting lol
SousVideAndSmoke@reddit
Don’t mess with IT. We have better logging than you.
Sure-Counter-3432@reddit
And can delete theirs
/s
PorkyMcRib@reddit
Simon, BOFH has entered the chat
ReputationNo8889@reddit
Ive had so many "Uhhm actually" moments because users thought they didnt leave any traces. Well no traces they could see...
Le_Vagabond@reddit
"I'm not accusing you of anything, I'm stating that you did this yesterday at that time according to the log, and I'm going to restore the backup so there is no issue."
me, to a salesperson who was getting aggressive.
BloodFeastMan@reddit
"Aggressive" salespeople get shown the door. I'm the one with the money. They're the ones who want it. No more complicated than that.
WoodenHarddrive@reddit
Sounds like an internal salesperson in this case.
BloodFeastMan@reddit
yeah I probably mis-interpreted that.
WoodenHarddrive@reddit
That aside, in isolation I absolutely agree with your statement.
My title got changed on our company site and suddenly I have kaseya and solarwinds reps beating down my door. Eventually just blocked their domains.
Sending me a calendar invite that I never respond to, then calling to ask my secretary why I missed our appointment is such a wild tactic.
BloodFeastMan@reddit
I had an unsolicited meet invite about a year ago, I joined the meeting, microphone off, camera off, two guys at their desks say hi, then try and figure out what's wrong, then try to coach me how to make it work. They gave up after about five minutes, it was pretty funny!
mmoyles00@reddit
Dude! 🤟🏼 🤣😂🤣😂
DOUBLEBARRELASSFUCK@reddit
Christ, I guess it's good, at least, that three psychopaths were tied up for five minutes.
AtarukA@reddit
I dunno if this is a cultural thing or what, but in France, even at many MSPs, I have very rarely had very vindicative users that didn't accept they did something. At worst they would swear they didn't do X or did Y correctly, but never someone being so aggressive to the point of lying on purpose to try and protect themselves.
Well except the one time we got a whole team of phone receptionists were lying about not getting calls (we actually pulled security camera on that one for investigation)
SoylentVerdigris@reddit
I mostly get it from people who are using fake IT issues to skip out on doing work. If they actually own up to it, they basically have to admit they weren't doing their job.
I usually try to give people an easy out in those situations, I'm not a manager no one's paying me to police other people's work day and it's an easy ticket closed if they play along. Some people seem to take offense that they could possibly have done something wrong though and just double down until they get themselves into even more trouble.
infered5@reddit
I always give easy outs, lets them save face and they're nicer to me. You never lie to your accountant, doctor, lawyer, or EMT. Let's add IT to the list.
thortgot@reddit
Users on the whole lie, whether intentionally or not.
Aggressive lying tends to only happen when the user thinks they can get away with it and the consequences are extreme.
In France I imagine the worker protections are dramatically better than the US and as such a secretary doesn't need to blame IT about the missing attachment to avoid losing their job.
Sovey_@reddit
Contrary to popular belief, baseball is not the favourite American pastime. Litigation is.
mitharas@reddit
Well, the US is tame to some european countries:
Taken from here
Ssakaa@reddit
I do wonder the ratios of "sue an individual" vs "sue a company" in that for each of the top 5-10.
TheStixXx@reddit
It really is a cultural thing.
One of the top things that amazes every European visiting the US is; all these huge advertisement boards dedicated to lawyers on the highway. It’s insane.
Le_Vagabond@reddit
tu as pas assez bossé avec des commerciaux alors :p
Zalsons@reddit
"I'm not calling you a liar, but the computer is"
hurkwurk@reddit
Actual conversation I once had with someone that for me to my wits end:
I'm not calling you a liar. I'm informing you that I have already documented it to management and this is now an HR issue, not just a supervisor issue.
mistyjeanw@reddit
"Since the logs say it was done by someone with your password, (and you said it wasn't you) we will be pushing a reset."
Also bumping entropy requirements, just to be safe :)
Zalsons@reddit
I've had that conversation twice this week already. I feel you.
roncadillacisfrickin@reddit
I’m not calling you a liar, I’m merely suggesting that the system data, the system logging, and user account activity does not support the version of events removing the culpability of your department. The data suggests that ‘user ID’ from ‘department’ was logged in and actively altering/updating/managing the database when the less than ideal situation occurred, corrupted the data, and halted all production…but it is possible that that user did not cause the outage, but their workstation and user ID did seem to have some sort of involvement…
Keelo_deady@reddit
Yall better than me. Im telling them straight up yes your lying stop the bullshit. I guess thats why work environments are so passive aggressive nowadays.
Zalsons@reddit
That's the inside monolog, I do enjoy keeping my job and the last thing folks really want is to have an HR investigation for creating a hostile work environment. But yes, that's exactly why it's passive aggressive, because if you're overtly aggressive, you get canned. That's not limited to IT.
FlyingPasta@reddit
Well yeah, work environments shouldn’t be directly aggressive. “You’re lying stop the bullshit” could end up with my family on the street
LogicalExtension@reddit
I'm not calling you a liar. The system logs show that your account was used to perform these actions.
If you are telling me that your account was used without your knowledge, then we will declare a security incident and begin investigating this apparent breach of our systems.
Please follow this person to HR/legal so that you can give a full statement on the record.
vanillatom@reddit
LOL I've pulled the "I'm gonna have to lock down all the systems and send all the employees home" when someone who forgot to add an attachment to an email kept blaming IT and saying the email must have been compromised. She confessed real quick after that.
roncadillacisfrickin@reddit
Info sec crisis bridge…
NightMgr@reddit
I’ve suggested that since there is no trace of the call, obviously we were hacked and should shut down everything and bring in outside investigators.
If nothing is found, it needs to come out of your budget.
PrintShinji@reddit
I've said before "oh but the logs tell this, so that means that if you're 100% sure you didnt do this, your account is compromised and we have to reset everything"
Basically everytime they go "oh no well yeah i did that" because they dont feel like resetting their password (even though we're 99% SSO)
Zalsons@reddit
I've used this one before, I also get to include "It will also require you to take a mandatory 4 hour cyber security course before your account will be re-activated. We do this any time someone has an account compromised."
AugustMaximusChungus@reddit
Man we have fuckin 4 hour courses on avoiding phishing yearly and it sucks every time. Meanwhile the production servers have port 22 wide open and oracle linux from 2 eons ago installed
DrummerElectronic247@reddit
"Ok, then I'm just putting in a ticket to have Security pull the relevant logs and tag in the external auditor. We integrated it recently with our insurance carrier so they can be kept in the loop if we need to start a claim."
[Cue back pedaling at near supersonic speed]
That MS flow may or may not be called "TheReciepts"
SoylentVerdigris@reddit
That one is always fun. Had someone double and then triple down and they ended up with their account locked and under investigation for like two full days once.
kyle6477@reddit
I frequently get tickets escalated to me where lower techs or even the users swear to me up and down that they rebooted the workstation prior to escalating the ticket.
Oh yeah? why is the last boot time over a week ago?
admin_penguin@reddit
Please refer to the email that was delivered to your inbox folder at 2025-01-15T07:52:09Z.
dracotrapnet@reddit
Folders, books, binders, shovels, magazines, gym bags, bricks, shop towels, cats, dogs, and lizards can operate keyboards usually ineffectively but can effectively delete stuff or move files. The mouse is easily operated by random objects too. Lizards can operate touch screens and touch pads - they have capacitive skin too!
"Not saying you did it, but something did it from your computer and it was unlocked at the time. I blame the lizard people."
ReputationNo8889@reddit
If they actually get mad at me for calling their BS, that would get a instant escalation to their manager with their C level in cc from me. No way in hell will i let someone walk over me like that.
I've given you the chance to save face and accept you fucked up. If you get mad at me for showing you how you fucked up then we have another problem.
DrockByte@reddit
A few years ago I was dealing with a user who insisted they didn't do something they were logged doing. After some back and forth they doubled down and said the logs were wrong because they absolutely did not do that.
I got fed up and asked if they think their account was hacked? They perked up and were like, "YES! That's! What happened! I must have been hacked!"
Ok, I'll file the security incident immediately and come by to pickup your laptop. The security team will do a deep dive into all activity tied to your account in the past 30 days. Don't worry. They won't leave anything uncovered.
ReputationNo8889@reddit
I would pay to watch their face turn pale ...
AdamMcCyber@reddit
We had a user once Googling how to extract the Enterprise key from their Windows 10 corporate laptop. We saw it on proxy logs, and my analyst alerted me.
I (SECOPS Manager) messaged said offender on Skype "Is there something we can help you with? Such as how to extract a Windows license key?"
Poor guy, shat bricks for a moment. We then told him to raise a ticket with IT instead (if it's legit).
We didn't know at the time that he was transferring to an IT position. The next week, his desk was immediately opposite mine.. que suspicious but comical stare.
ReputationNo8889@reddit
Damn, i almost spilled my coffee :D
touristsonedibles@reddit
I think a lot of people think, mistakenly, that no information is no information. But no information is actually a lot of information, if that makes sense.
ReputationNo8889@reddit
Yes makes total sense. No information in the right context is all the information one might need.
codewario@reddit
"I already rebooted it"
"System uptime shows 20 days; can we try rebooting now?"
"...okay"
ReputationNo8889@reddit
To be fair, many users dont know that reboot and shutdown + power on behave differently. I just dont understand why they seem to not understand that i say REBOOT instead of SHUTDOWN for a reason ...
RegistryRat@reddit
We just have ours reboot once a week on Sunday via Group Policy. Avoids a lot of these issues
ReputationNo8889@reddit
We sadly have laptops where users only close the lid and almost never save their documents. So rebooting them over the weekend would lead to many support calls on Monday. Windows Updates once a month usually get the biggest culprits ....
RegistryRat@reddit
Yikes. I'm fortunate enough to be in an environment where the idea of saving things locally was hammered out of everyone by the last guy. Everything is saved to our file servers. It's even written out in our policy that there are no backups of local data, and can assume that if their laptop is lost, damaged, or stolen, that all the data on it is gone for good.
If you can get management behind it, and ENFORCE it/stand behind IT when people complain, it goes much smoother. Don't know how your org is obviously
ReputationNo8889@reddit
My problem is, that mgmt tends to go in the complete opposite direction. We cant have a "Teams only, no email" mandate, because some saled guys need to use email and therefore we need to accomodate everyones email issues and configurations. And there are many things like that where mgmt bascially says "we need to actively support the old way of working because Bob cant be bothered to learn new stuff"
Moleculor@reddit
For literal decades shutting down and powering back up again was the same as rebooting. It was so common a fix/solution that "have you tried turning it off and on again" is a phrase you should be familiar with.
And with nearly every other electronic device out there, they're still the same.
It wasn't until Windows 8 that Microsoft decided to fuck with things unnecessarily and changed this. They introduced a "feature" (fast startup) that provides very little benefit, often causes more problems than it solves, and was entirely designed around the idea of speeding up the boot up process when running Windows from an HDD.
It's on by default, but who runs Windows from a platter-based disc these days?
Do yourself a favor and just disable Fast Startup. It makes Windows's Shutdown option behave like people expect it to behave, and it'll likely reduce the number of tickets you get from anyone born before the year the year 2000, or possibly even more than that, as those will be the people who likely grew up and were taught by people that knew that shutting a PC down periodically was how you kept it working well.
falynnsandskimmer@reddit
This is my favorite Fun Party Fact about Windows since I've been doing IT and run into it constantly. Just Msoft being Msoft and users paying the price.
ammaccolebanane@reddit
jfc.
i prided myself as being a power user.
i built clusters using linux (rocks), can program a bit, maintain my own home network, first computer was an amiga500
until 5 mins ago, if someone told me that reboot and power off+on were different thing i woudl have looked at them like if they had 3 heads.
microsoft keeps doing stoopid things.
Moleculor@reddit
Yeah. I'll rant about that thing from time to time. I can understand MS having it on by default back with Windows 8, but by the time Win10 rolled around SSDs were very nearly standard and they should have been thinking about having it off by default.
Win11? As far as I've been told, it's still on by default. Utterly baffling.
Some_Troll_Shaman@reddit
Still on by default Win11. Can confirm.
Actually harder to turn off.
ReputationNo8889@reddit
Thank you for your detailed explanation! Really appreciate it. While I can disable it, it does not generate that big of support for us, as many users tell their colleagues that "reboot and shutdown are not the same". Im not a fan of what MS is doing but most people use Windows at home and are not that technical. I rather try to educate users on how to use it the way Microsoft "envisioned" because this will help them as well in their personal lifes. But yes if business would be impacted I would absolutely disable it :D
Moleculor@reddit
I actually should probably give an explanation more than just my unhinged rant at a feature I've hated for years, if you're going to thank me for one.
From what I understand, when you 'Shutdown' with Fast Startup enabled, it closes many of the programs it would normally close on a log off process, and maaaybe a few more processes beyond that, but it keeps core Windows processes running in RAM.
Then it snapshots that RAM to the drive, probably in a file Windows goes out of its way to be contiguous memory blocks if we're discussing an HDD. Or you'd hope, assuming MS knows what it's doing and I understand what Fast Startup does.
Then it sends the PC into the lowest possible sleep state, but possibly with power still flowing to a keyboard or mouse to allow interacting with those devices to turn the PC back on (despite you having clicked Shutdown). (S4)
Then, on boot-up, the PC "remembers" that this is what it did during its last shut-down process and simply loads this saved core set of processes from the saved RAM snapshot, which means it's loading one singular file into RAM, rather than dozens or hundreds of individual files in the Windows directory.
This speeds up the boot up process by entire seconds if you're on an HDD (insert eye rolling levels of not being impressed here) and maybe a full second if you're on an SDD (if you're lucky) but results in Windows technically continuing to run as if it hasn't been rebooted. You'll even see the "Up time" value in the Performance tab in Task Manager continue to tick away as if it had been running for hours or even days.
An immensely frustrating "feature".
Side-note, not a sysadmin, but if anyone knows of some work... I'm looking.
Nu-Hir@reddit
I use this a litmus test on how much I trust a user. I always check uptime before asking them the last time they reboot their computer. If they said they already did, I ask if it was a shutdown or a reboot and educate them on the difference. If they're adamant it was a reboot I know I can't trust them.
makingbutter@reddit
Why does everyone keep saying reboot? My options are shutdown or restart.
JediMind1209@reddit
I have seen many people that think just turning the monitor off and back on is a reboot.
ReputationNo8889@reddit
Well it's turning off and back on....
DomoInMySoup@reddit
I have definitely had users describe their "shut down" process before as just closing their laptop lid.
Mr_ToDo@reddit
The arguments about reboot vs shutdown are all well and good but yesterday I had a new one for me.
Closing and reopening the web browser
No amount of differing windows behaviors makes that an issue that isn't on the end user. Funny though, couldn't even be mad at it.
ReputationNo8889@reddit
Oh the first time I encountered this I had to laugh my ass off after the call. The users could not understand why his issue was persisting even tho he "rebooted" the settings panel ...
lordjedi@reddit
I've had people do this. Ask them to restart and they think I mean to close the program and reopen it. No, I mean to restart the COMPUTER!
Jaffa66@reddit
I have had the opposite, wanted them to restart the application but they restarted the computer. That was a frustrating wait for everything to load back up and it still did not fix the issue.
music2myear@reddit
It hasn't been THAT many years since I saw someone press the power button on their monitor to "reboot".
ReputationNo8889@reddit
I See the confusion every day. We have some "Monitor PC's" that only turn on with the Monitor power button. Watching those users use a different PC is always fun
hayzee@reddit
This is at least understandable because it is counter-intuitive to users who've been using Windows before the introduction of fast startup in 8.
ReputationNo8889@reddit
Yes totally, shame on MS for implementing it but sadly its here to stay
joule_thief@reddit
Disable Fast Startup and it won't make a difference any longer. It's a relic of mechanical hard drives and no longer needed in most cases.
PrintShinji@reddit
Its kinda funny how Fast Startup came RIGHT at the time where SSDs started becoming affordable/popular.
Joe-Cool@reddit
Windows had a "fast startup" for a long long time. Windows 98 compressed all necessary drivers into a DriveSpace file and loaded them from there on bootup.
WinXP tried to Defrag the system files in the right order so the HDD could stream them without seeking.
Only modern Windows has this weird "hibernate kernelspace to disk and crash the gpu on reboot or cause printers to malfunction" fast boot.
Many headaches would go away if that defaulted to off.
Hosenkobold@reddit
For the user it's the same process. Computer goes off and on again. And it was the same for a long time. Or at least more similar back in the days. But Microsoft changed that.
Slappehbag@reddit
Wait what, reboot and shutdown + boot, are different now?
codewario@reddit
"Uhhm ackshually..."
I hadn't thought of it from this angle 😂 totally forgot that shutting down doesn't actually shutdown unless fast shutdown is turned off. I guess I can't blame a user for making that mistake.
I usually support server versions of Windows, which do not have fast reboot enabled. I can't remember the last time I've checked the uptime of a desktop edition, let alone compared it to a reboot.
Some_Troll_Shaman@reddit
Words are important.
There is a reason I said Restart and not Shutdown.
Did you use Restart?
Djemonic88@reddit
Oh this one, i hate them so much. I now copy and paste their uptime to show them
Sunsparc@reddit
That's the point I argue with WFH people who think they can cheat time with a jiggler. You leave activity breadcrumbs in the background as you work throughout the day. If you're not at the computer actively working and having something move the mouse, you're not leaving those activity breadcrumbs. It's glaringly obvious you're not working.
_Aaronstotle@reddit
Are you really spending time monitoring background processes on employees computers?
Sunsparc@reddit
Yep, that's all I do. All day every day. My title is "Computer Watcher".
matthewstinar@reddit
If management were better at knowing what work needs to be done and how much of it is getting done (i.e. management doing their job), work theater (like RTO and jigglers) wouldn't seem necessary. Either working an hour a day would be sufficient to get the work done or working an hour a day would result in consequences for not getting the work done.
Sunsparc@reddit
Your assumption is that all management is incompetent and there are no bad actor employees out there.
"Working an hour a day would be sufficient" in what industry?
matthewstinar@reddit
I'm not assuming; I'm observing. Warming a seat or occupying an office aren't job duties. Managers who monitor activity and office occupancy as proxies for seat warming aren't doing their job.
Managers are responsible for knowing what work needs to be done and what work is being done. Jigglers don't accomplish work; they produce activity.
Quote the whole thing. I said if an hour isn't sufficient, then the consequences would follow from incomplete work rather than insufficient activity.
How would a bad actor employee complete the work if not by doing their job? Again, jigglers produce activity, but they don't accomplish work. Competent managers monitor results. Incompetent managers monitor activity.
Logical_Strain_6165@reddit
Please tell me that's not ITs job to enforce?
Sunsparc@reddit
Not by default, only by HR request.
If I see someone I suspect to be faking activity, I'll report it to HR though. They're endangering my ability to work from home, so I happily report.
ReputationNo8889@reddit
Like the Entra Signin logs. Really strange how those are populated when working in office but somehow mostly absent when WFH ...
dracotrapnet@reddit
Nobody sees the skid marks until later.
Radixx@reddit
Not an onboarding issue but our public company had very strict roles and responsibilities set up on our erp/sales system. Users occasionally found themselves restricted and thought they could "borrow" a userid from a coworker. Our logs got them every time.
PapaDuckD@reddit
I always ask people if they’re sure that the position they’re publically taking is the one they want to take with the understanding that computer systems maintain records of activities (or lack thereof).
Most of the time I have the receipts. Sometimes I’m bluffing. Either way, I have about an 80% hit rate of getting them to stand down without showing down.
People know their truths. And when you basically tell them “you can tell the truth or daddy’s going to find out anyway and it will look much worse on you if you don’t tell us now,” they tend to own up to that truth.
fatalicus@reddit
This is pretty much how things go here as well.
We have logging for a lot, but we aren't necessarily allowed to just look at those logs.
But a mention of "If you wish, we can start the process with legal to get approval to check the relevant logs to verify this." will quickly change some details about what happened.
ReputationNo8889@reddit
Thats basically it. People know they messed up and hope they can get by without anyone noticing. But as soon as you tell them you can give them a history accurate to the second, they quite down almost instantly. In many parts of life that might be possible (I have sent the letter yesterday, the postoffice might just be a bit slow) in others not. Most people dont understand that IT leaves traces everywhere, and most of those places are not even visible to the user.
Upbeat-Carrot455@reddit
The phone logs are not accurate. Um, they are. Make a call, let me see what comes up in the report. Oh, look at that. All the calls flowed properly and you just never made one. I’ll be at my desk if you have any legitimate questions.
Tulpen20@reddit
Sing it with me: "All you need is logs! All together now, All you need is logs!..." (with apologies to The Beatles)
mlvnd@reddit
Made me chuckle
6Saint6Cyber6@reddit
My favorite is the forwarded email with a different date, but logs show they sent it to themselves then changed the date before they forwarded it to make it look like someone else dropped the ball.
kirashi3@reddit
Well, you know what they say: Forgery is the finest form of flattery.
Syst0us@reddit
I make sure to include pertinent "holy fuck they track THAT" in all my normal emails.
So when it comes time to see who goes under the bus..they all know I'm the one driving it.
tdhuck@reddit
I agree about the logging part, but users/managers/etc simply need to communicate better than they do. If you send me an IM that says 'hi' or 'how are you doing' and nothing else, I'm not saying that I won't reply, but I'm not going to be in a hurry.
If you IM me and say 'hi, we are looking for assistance with setting up the new hire, which started today' I'll likely reply a lot quicker and tell them that nothing has been submitted, please follow the new hire procedure document and help desk will take it from there.
Or if you call me and leave a message that says 'please call me when you have a few minutes' that's fine if that's all the information you want to give me, but I might not have a few minutes for a very long time.
Bottom line, people think they are the highest authority and just assume IT will drop what they are doing to help them. The problem is that there are enough entry help desk techs that don't know any better and help them which is why the cycle is going to be very hard to break.
BloodFeastMan@reddit
Along those lines, few things grind my gears as much as an email chain that I've not been part of until someone decided to forward me a month full of back and forth with this above the forwarded message:
FYI:
kirashi3@reddit
Me receiving the same kind of email chain, also with "FYI" as the only text sent to me: clicks Thumbs Up button in Outlook then files the email into the "Complete" folder.
NoTheOtherAC@reddit
and "Can you get this done by the end of the day?"
blackbrandt@reddit
And this is why I have my status in Team set to nohello.com :)
tdhuck@reddit
I'm sure we'd be told not to have messages like that, but I know in my case it wouldn't help because the people would not click on it and the ones that did probably wouldn't understand the point of that site/message.
I work with a user that will call my desk phone and never leave a message. Then they will IM me in teams and say 'hi' and that's it. They will actually do that for days....weeks....and finally when we happen to run into e/o at another office (we don't work in the same office) they will say 'oh, I've been trying to get a hold of you, you haven't responded' I'll just reply and say 'yeah, I've been busy, but if you need help with something, the best way to get assistance is to submit a ticket' which is funny because I don't work in the help desk and I'm not sure why they are contacting me directly. Yes, they had a problem with their computer and I'm the closest IT person to her geographic location, I guess that must mean (to them) that I'm automatically their direct help desk contact.
Of course they tried to contact me again. After about a month they emailed me stating that they called me and IMed me x times and my boss was CCed on that email. I replied back stating that I'm not in help desk, they didn't leave any voicemails and their message only said 'hi' and when I saw them in person I told them the best way to ask for help was to submit a ticket. I made sure to CC their boss, as well, and I never heard from anyone since I sent that reply.
cptadder@reddit (OP)
Our main line has a voicemail on it, if you get the voicemail because no one picked up the it automatically makes a ticket that just contains a copy of the voicemail audio.
Some of our users refuse to leave voicemails one goes a step beyond and will call leave a voicemail of a deep sigh and then a hang up sound.
Now I know who called but voicemail audio contained no information so as far as our metrics go that is another resolved issue.
tdhuck@reddit
I'm talking about calling me directly. However, the help desk phone line will ring all the help desk users. If nobody picks up it is set to forward to the help desk person who is on call, if they don't answer the current way that the system forwards the call, the voicemail of the user on call (cell phone) is where the user is directed to.
Yes, it is possible to change this to have the message left on the phone system which could then trigger an email to the help desk system for automation, but a couple problems I see in my environment...
Wouldn't it just be easier, as a user, to email a help desk address or click on a pre-saved favorite icon that takes you to the help desk system where you can fill out a ticket in less than a minute?
EkimNosredna@reddit
A larger than I'd like portion of my users can't figure that last part out... They by-pass my salaried boss and try to go directly to hourly people that may or may not be in and are not supposed to answer unless they are on the clock. It's a friggin nightmare. Also the I didn't know if it warranted making a ticket crowd. We'd tell you if it didn't... (and it does.)
BalderVerdandi@reddit
Love this one.
Used to work at a K-12 and we were using SurfControl for our content filter. One of the students decided to make the attempt to look at "adult content" and we got the logs via e-mail, per our setup.
Account disabled, forced logout, forward e-mail to school administrators along with actions taken per our acceptable use policy - the one I created because we didn't have one.
Mom gets called in. Student claims it wasn't her, Mom backs her kid up. School admins showed them the logs and tell them no internet for a month per the usage policy. Student then claims "someone else used my login", which triggers a 3 month ban on computer use, per policy.
Mom pulls kid out a couple weeks later because "reasons".
Education and entertainment are the only two industries I won't do IT in anymore.
jjwhitaker@reddit
If I'm asking when you last restarted I've already queried remotely for when that was and am killing time while that spins or I run something else.
Pyrostasis@reddit
YOU NEVER SENT ME THAT EMAIL!
This email?
YES YOU NEVER SENT ME THAT!
This email right here, I just showed you, is in your email box.
Wait what?! Uhh... nm. Sorry.
AGenericUsername1004@reddit
Accurate apart from the Sorry part. It would usually be
"Well Microsoft has changed the layout of outlook so much recently its hard to find things."
EkimNosredna@reddit
Or they have 10K unread emails.... yes... 10 thousand...
jpmoney@reddit
I'm not arguing that with you.
Mental_Act4662@reddit
Love when someone try’s to blame me and I show Them the logs.
Dsnordo@reddit
Well, just sometimes, cause on some occasions you don't
Valheru78@reddit
This calls for the sysadmin song: https://youtu.be/udhd9fmOdCs
grumble_au@reddit
We used immutable tickets in zendesk to track HR requests. Auditors found a good half dozen leavers that weren't disabled on leaving and even more joiners with joiner tickets weeks or months after they actually started (usually "secret" hires who needed accounts but general staff couldn't know they were onboarded, so no ticket as too many people can see general tickets - hint at the poor management but that's other stories).
We showed the auditors the dates on the HR tickets and proved 100% of the mis-timed actions were because of mis-timed tickets. HR was not happy about "getting thrown under the bus" when they were happy to blame IT when it was provably their bad practice.
Audit trails are great.
matthewstinar@reddit
Not so much thrown as found. IT merely used logs to prove HR had climbed under the bus all by themselves.
Expended1@reddit
I want this on a T shirt. Or hoodie.
VirtualPlate8451@reddit
And most of us with grey in our beard have dealt with bullshit like this and keep the receipts. I operate in CYA mode by default at this point.
Lylieth@reddit
Paper trails are amazing.
I'm being pulled into a meeting because the front end of a SaaS they once bought is reaching it's EoL with the vendor later this year. They had a banner in the admin portal warning of such for past two years. When it first showed up, I saved all the associated links, PDFs, and emailed my leadership in one email chain and included the vendor and leadership in another. Leadership chose to assume another team who was intended to take over supporting the few SaaS products we had chose they no longer had the manpower to do so. Said team even said they were A-OK with it for the past year; every time it was brought up. But, all of a sudden, it's a problem!
I'm SOO happy I have those email chains. Because, at this point, it's no longer my problem\responsibility. Largest reason why? I'm no longer even in the same team I once was last year. I transitioned to a different sort of IT role supporting one piece of software. It's no longer my beach, nor my sandcastle.
grumble_au@reddit
I had something similar quite recently. I got pushed out of a senior role so the new COO's buddy could take my job. Whatever, as long as keep getting paid. Fast forward nearly 12 months and a whole bunch of projects hadn't progressed, particularly some security related ones that were pivotal to keeping a government accreditation. I was asked why these projects hadn't been done and got to tell them I handed all those projects to the friend of the COO last year, here are all the jira projects and confluence pages detailing what needs to be done, how and by whom, and none of those are in my responsibility list any more. Still got let go soon after but totally worth it.
MaelstromFL@reddit
Hopefully you had your resume out the day he got hired...
f0gax@reddit
I don't like to pull that weapon out of inventory. But man can it be satisfying when I have to.
I'm not here to make anyone look silly or embarrass them. The job is about helping and enabling the business. But if someone decides to be a dick about something, then I have no qualms about matching their energy.
mmoyles00@reddit
This story pleases me so much more than it should. I'm happy for you. Thanks for sharing. 🤟🏼
redditinyourdreams@reddit
Who the fuck just goes home
Fire_Mission@reddit
Department heads
TheSexyPlatypus@reddit
My new favorite quote:
“Don’t mess with IT, and don’t lie to them, they have more logs than you’ve dropped in a toilet in your life”
detar@reddit
Isn’t it amazing how IT somehow gets blamed for things we were never informed about?
jaskij@reddit
So... This new hire sat there for four hours doing nothing and didn't think to contact anyone about this?
Markprzyb@reddit
This all day long. What kind of person shows up to a new job, goes to an office and then does nothing for 4 hours, then gets up and goes home? Not asking the supervisor or another employee about contacting IT? Not asking the supervisor for a task while they wait for IT? Just goes home??? That's a huge red flag if I'm working at the company.
TEverettReynolds@reddit
That's the kind of employee who will blame IT in the future when they don't get their work done on time, claiming IT never fixed their issue. Trust me.
DeifniteProfessional@reddit
I always overhear people in my office (or even directly) talking about how "slow everything is". Printer is slow, CMS is slow, computers are slow. Meanwhile, they sit chit chatting for hours
RyanLewis2010@reddit
My favorite is when they bitch to me about computers in the showroom being slow or broken for months but when asked for a ticket I get “oh I thought manager filed one” I can barely get a manager to file a new hire ticket within the first 2 weeks sometimes.
DixOut-4-Harambe@reddit
Ahhh, prime IT candidate right there. Or /OverEmployed material.
Don't rattle cages your first day, like "what am I supposed to do here?" stuff.
Sit down and wait for someone to tell you what to do. :D
bofh@reddit
That occurred to me too. I can’t imagine just sitting there like a le,on when I’m supposed to be part of management.
jake04-20@reddit
And then dismissed themselves early on their own accord? Lol
jpmoney@reddit
Well yeah, their mobile phone battery was close to dead after four hours of social media scrolling.
polypolyman@reddit
That's how you know they're qualified for management
Canukian84@reddit
The correct response if they were unable to contact their direct report, IT help, etc regarding the issue and just going home should have led to a different meeting where the new employee is terminated for incompetance.
No need to work with that everyday.
sync-centre@reddit
Testing the waters to see how dysfunctional the company is.
GhostDan@reddit
Next step: Escalate any negative comments or angry emails to HR.
"This user approached me in an aggressive manner over a mistake they made. They escalated this to my manager and other managers which may affect future promotions. This is making me feel like the workplace has turned hostile."
In email. Keep a copy (print or forward to yourself). Even if they do nothing right now it may be helpful in the future if other things happen between you two.
BemusedBengal@reddit
There are very few circumstances where going to HR would improve your situation, and I don't think this is one of them. Even if HR completely sides with you, everyone else will resent you for it.
GhostDan@reddit
HR's job is to protect the company. In this case you are saying the company may be becoming a hostile workplace, which can cause all kinds of moral and legal issues for the company.
If you have a decent HR department they will absolutely step in and stop this before it goes any further.
If you have a shitty HR department, well time to find a new job. Things aren't going to get any better.
shrekerecker97@reddit
This right here. We have a department that likes to "blame IT" for anything equipment related even if it's something the user actually did (ie spilled coffee on their laptop) and this backfires on them everytime
FerryCliment@reddit
When I was studying I always found long or complex regular expressions my nemesis, always got frustrated when working with them.
Took me two Corpo-CLevel meetings to go back to my desk and ask for regular expressions tasks.
These ego-fest bullshit meetings gaslighting and throwing false statements are beyond my understanding.
architectofinsanity@reddit
This happened six years ago, so we created an onboarding process to prevent it from happening again. You didn’t follow the process - it happened again.
So, how is this IT’s fault? Grow up and accept the blame, admit fault, apologize, and move on. Or act like a fucking child and blame everyone around you for your mistake.
GhostDan@reddit
Quite a while ago I worked for a smaller shop. Couple thousand people worldwide. Company wasn't tech focused, and we didn't keep a inventory of computers (we were told that'd be too much overhead) so our policy was to offer the role to the new user and give them a date a couple weeks in the future (figuring 2 week notice), they'd then contact IT to ORDER a laptop (from Dell) which had about a 2 week turnaround. Laptop would arrive the day before the person showed up, a helpdesk (that's what we called them back then) person would do the initial setup, and the user was all set.
Except for cases like OPs, where management forgot to follow our process (which was mostly baked into the HR/Ticketing system) and someone would show up at my office Monday morning "Hi I'm new I was told to pick up my new computer here?"
Cue 2 weeks of that employee borrowing other peoples machines, working over others shoulders, and generally being unproductive.
Originally we'd put in rushes with Dell "oh jeeze they made a mistake can you push this order thru" but after a bit we stopped. I told my manager if we ask Dell to rush every order, sooner or later they'll just tell us they did and let the normal process go thru.
architectofinsanity@reddit
Dell, for its faults, is a logistics company - and a really fucking good one, at that. If you order a rush or expedite, you’ll probably get it sooner if it doesn’t cost them anything to do it. But if there’s a dollar extra to be spent to get that gear out the door sooner - you’re damn well better expect that they’re going to get that back in the next order.
skunkboy72@reddit
if that's a small shop whats my company of like 100 in one building?
GhostDan@reddit
Prospectives change
I've worked for companies with a million employees I work for the government right now with an estimated 3 million. I've worked with some midsize 10-15k companies and smaller 1-2k people companies. I've worked for a mom and pop shop with 4 people
They need more descriptors.
kenfury@reddit
I've always gone with 25 or less, 25-250, 250-2500, 2500-20k, 20k and up
GhostDan@reddit
So what would you call each of those? Small business.. slightly less small business.. medium sized business.. slightly bigger than medium sized business, big business. Given the differences between 20k and a million+ I'd go 'even bigger business' 20-50k, 50-100k "Now we really big" 100k-250k "Damn that's a lot" 250k-500k "Do I get a bonus yet?"
music2myear@reddit
"Smaller than Microsoft". lol I was thinking that too. It's an international corporation with thousands of staff, ergo, it's a large org. Maybe not so large as some, but it's still far larger than the vast majority of organizations.
ReputationNo8889@reddit
Most pick number 2 because they already caused a huge drama without even thinking "maybe i did something wrong" and now they have to die on that hill.
architectofinsanity@reddit
Funny how most of the good people reflect on the mistake before blaming outward… and yet these twatwaffles get sent to leadership positions.
ReputationNo8889@reddit
I think its all about how they can sell themselves. We all know sales is smoke and mirrors. They just try to sell themselves as the "Best of the best".
architectofinsanity@reddit
Funny how the most successful sales people I know are not sales people by trade. They sell stuff but they are finance or tech backgrounds that have been in business long enough to connect with buyers - and not be slimy scumbags about it.
Kronen_@reddit
Twatwaffles, that’s brilliant 😂
OEMBob@reddit
This is the part I really don't understand.
Maybe it's just my conflict avoidance or rejection sensitive dysphoria; but I would NEVER escalate something without going back over my own process to make sure I crossed my t's and dotted my i's. The last thing I want is to cause a kerfuffle that involves levels of manglement, when it ultimately was caused by my own incompetence and failure to read and double check things.
ReputationNo8889@reddit
I personally try to do my best when "confronting" someone with management. I also dont understand people that fly off the handle without thinking ...
Chaise91@reddit
Also, a phone call? Might as well be screaming into the void. That manager absolutely used it as an excuse because they thought it couldn't be verified.
bukkithedd@reddit
I've been through one of these today, heh, while cleaning up old mailgroups.
Fun as hell, and I don't even TRY to be polite about it when I get accused of being various evil government agencies that may or may not have operated in totalitarian countries/regimes.
typhoonandrew@reddit
Always a good day when somebody has the opportunity to learn to not mess with the IT folks.
Years ago we started monitoring for porn and such, and the upper floors wanted heads to roll for employees who breached the policy. First set of letters for breach were hand delivered to the MD and many of his leadership team. After a short “amnesty “ most people figured out how to keep that junk at home.
Affectionate-Cat-975@reddit
Ok but wtf is this ‘leader’ really doing for 4 hours and then leaves? Why didn’t they ‘lead’ themselves to find out what’s next?
Musicprotocol@reddit
God i could never go back to bullshit office politics.. Went out on my own 10 years ago.. no amount of money in the world could make me go back to that absolute hell ... I have no patience now I'd likely punch someone in the face..
BarServer@reddit
So a manager is sitting 4 hours in an office and can't help herself? Wow.
How does she manage to do groceries? I mean.. Just ask someone to call IT.. I just don't get these passive peoples..
awfl@reddit
I was left without a cube, desk, computer, email or phone accounts, for near two weeks at one of the largest global aerospace companies. And I understand railed every few days by my new two levels up manager who in a different location kept leaving me increasingly angry messages and emails why I wasn't present or responding, despite me contacting him twice that I had no access to know or respond. And no one came to look for me sitting literally in the cloak room. And my time was not cheap. Fucking IT; and I was IT. But it wasn't IT, it was the onboarding HR manager literally fucking the vendor manager. I fucking hate people.
Galileominotaurlazer@reddit
Funny stories, we have started getting a lot of orders for equipment but they always forget where they want it setup or sent to. So we order it, receive it and close ticket when it’s arrived. Usually takes some time for them to figure out we are not clairvoyants.
DatManAaron1993@reddit
Who the fuck just leaves because “it didn’t show up” instead of asking for help?
cptadder@reddit (OP)
Our brand new social media manager that's who, update by the way no mention was made of her early dismissal yesterday.
DatManAaron1993@reddit
Oh of course it.
TheNilla@reddit
Are you kidding? That sense of decision making screams management material!
SiegeThirteen@reddit
This is what happens when you do no harm and take no shit. Despite the circus, you gotta clap back on folks with a clear "Not My Animal/Not my Zoo" with clear CYA tactics but a clear understanding what it is your responsibilities entail.
A strong spine and ability to show "tasteful" fang when the situation calls for it, goes a long way in showing the "middlings" you are there for reasons that do not include being a patsy or doormat.
PappaFrost@reddit
Also, let's say IT did, in fact, 'drop the ball'. Is it because they are shiftless, or is it because they are severely under-resourced and have been given an unrealistic quantity of work? Turn it into getting more funding.
Mephisto506@reddit
At best, the manager left a message but never got confirmation, and when equipment didn’t turn up the employee left instead of asking someone how to get their equipment?
Kaminaaaaa@reddit
I'm fucking pissed on your behalf lol, even after offering to pull the call logs they still tried to tell you to do better? I'd be sorely tempted to cut back with "if you can't trust your memory on leaving us a voicemail a day or two ago, how can you expect us to read minds on when an employee will be onsite? If you're sure that you left the voicemail, a quick check of the logs should vindicate you."
Mephisto506@reddit
Yeah, I wouldn’t have let “Do better” stand.
Do what better, exactly? Read minds?
zaphod777@reddit
The user should have picked up the phone and called someone for an update.
Although if you were wondering if someone's thing to come pickup the equipment or two you too server it somewhere you could have also sent someone a message.
I'd rather ping someone than just wondering all day.
sheikhyerbouti@reddit
The onboarding process at my work is clunky and if you rely entirely on the ticketing system, IT is the last party to know of a new employee - and usually right after they show up for their first day. However, management is always aware of new employees weeks before their arrival.
Repeated requests to keep IT in the loop about new hires has gone ignored by the managers I support, so I let newbies spin in their chairs for a couple days until I have room to image a new system.
joshbudde@reddit
Work at a giant company where hiring is a bureaucratic slog that takes months where we're also forced to use our internal IT group for Dell purchases. We buy thousands of computers at a whack and they're almost always for projects. My dept comes to me and says 'oh we have a new person starting next week, we need $equipment for them on Monday!'. They might be sitting for a while until Dell ships us in more supplies that aren't fully committed. If they're lucky I might have a junk computer I can give them until that happens (which might take weeks).
No matter how many times this happens, nothing changes. Every time seems like the first time, they're constantly surprised I can't just magic up computers. My dept might not have processes they stick to, but the main IT group LOVES process and aren't going to pull equipment thats already allocated for a project just because my group can't get its shit together.
pinkycatcher@reddit
Honestly some of that seems like an issue within IT. A week is a decent amount of time of awareness. Even I as a one man shop keeps a few spare new computers around for hires and just replenishes that stock as people need them.
AGenericUsername1004@reddit
The hardest part is when you have spares, someone decides to drop their machine or let their child sit on it or just forgets to bring their machine for the day, so you give them a spare one and then they ghost you for weeks as you try to recover it after their original one is back/fixed. Sometimes I would remote lock the machines that they took to try and get them back but then I would still get ghosted.
pinkycatcher@reddit
So the better thing for you is for people to not have working computers?
You need to keep spares and sure people will break them or lose them, but that's just life. If you don't have enough to keep your employees working your failing as an IT org.
AGenericUsername1004@reddit
The issue is users not returning the spare machines. Can’t keep spares for 7000 users. Wasn’t my department to run or make decisions though, the company as a whole was a shit show though.
pinkycatcher@reddit
You absolutely can keep spares for 7000 users. In fact it's easier. That's why you standardize on a range of models and keep a handful (based on how often you need to purchase them) of them ready to be picked up by users.
You don't keep 7000 spares, that would be stupid. But you keep enough that turnover and churn is fairly liquid.
And if you're at scale you work with a VAR that can deploy it all out for you, so you just get the request from your HRIS port it over to your VAR, they get a shipping address, image the machine, and send it out to you. Either with a stocking agreement with them, or allowing a general category of computers.
way__north@reddit
We try to always have a number of spares to cover new hires and the occasional broken pc.
But at times it could be hard to keep up, ie like a couple months ago - 5 new hires in a couple weeks, and the ones leaving allowed by their managers to keep their laptops for up to 6 months to help get the new hires started
The69LTD@reddit
You mean you're, right? If you're gonna preach from your high horse calling others a failure, at least use the correct word.
music2myear@reddit
Except for VIPs, replacements for broken/lost machines are older spares. If the replaced computer is repairable, once it's repaired it goes back on the spares shelf.
joshbudde@reddit
It's easy to say that as a one man band--we have 50k employees spread out over a large geographic area and massive corporate procurement. As a semi-one man band for my dept for things that the company doesn't care about (Apple devices, cables, odds and ends) it's a snap for me to manage. But as soon as I need to start interacting with the greater entity....stuff gets bogged down.
pinkycatcher@reddit
There are VARs who specialize in this, let them know a new employee is hired, give them an address and they'll ship an imaged computer to them.
Also realistically, that's just what you get when you have bad IT managers and IT executives. Sucks.
GhostDan@reddit
I'd record these, only because it may blow up in your face. "IT is always taking SO LONG to setup our new users"
I'd log the user, the date they were hired, the date IT was notified, the date they showed up, and the date they got their computer.
Over time you'll be able to track how much money the company is wasting by not including IT in those notifications until too late.
If no one ever yells, the next time the company is looking at cost cutting measures, you have a great project to tell them about.
sheikhyerbouti@reddit
My management is fully aware of the lack of communication and is behind me on this.
ciabattabing16@reddit
Now I'd go setup the entire office, take a picture, and email it off asking 'who set this up?' But I like creating problems sometimes.
SpenserITMan@reddit
Glad your IT Director asked the right question and cleared the situation. It sounds like a process issue more than anything. Hopefully, the onboarding process is followed next time to avoid this kind of confusion. Good luck meeting the new employee today!
faulkkev@reddit
Can’t bs someone who has logs and monitoring proof. I live moments where you arch someone BS’ing or trying to save face.
Boilergal2000@reddit
We have onboarding no one follows- love the 4:30 friday email “new person starting at 8 on monday”
ThatOldGuyWhoDrinks@reddit
Had one do this to me at 4 on Friday than email me at 8:30 on Monday asking for the laptop.
My response was this.
As per my contract my working hours are 8am to 4:30pm Monday to Friday. You emailed me one working hour ago asking for the laptop. As per SLA it takes 48 hours to provision a new starter. Should this laptop not be ready in 47 hours you will be informed via the normal process.
Kind regards
Boilergal2000@reddit
I mean, we are magicians and all- but they literally think we have stacks just waiting for their last minute request.
dustojnikhummer@reddit
Reply on Monday at 7:30
Okay, laptop and accounts will be ready in a week, as per our onboarding policy
Boilergal2000@reddit
That’s if I have one available to set up. My snarky reply is wow, amazing you advertised, interviewed and offered all on Friday?
dustojnikhummer@reddit
Here as well. Of course it might take longer if our supplier doesn't have our model in stock
TEverettReynolds@reddit
That message would be ignored until Monday at 9 am. Seriously.
ARLibertarian@reddit
"Cool. We'll have their new PC provisioned and account set up by COB Thursday."
scoreboy69@reddit
Time to implement the safeguard.
travelingjay@reddit
Out of curiosity, if you had their equipment ready to go a week ago, why wasn't it all already in their office before they walked in the door?
cptadder@reddit (OP)
I did leave that part out, first we didn't even know they had an office. They came in as a remote user not an office haver.
Our process is simple, we get a new user ticket which HR sends with the account information then we reach out to the supervisor/manager/director on record and say what hardware does this user need, where do they need it and when. Our original ticket only had the what and the when not the where which is typical for fully remote positions either they are local in which case they drive and do first time setup or we get an address to ship equipment to.
chefnee@reddit
A win is a win. When one goes to a Fortune level org, it can be a big cluster. Yes, direct user and management to the attention of those policies. Enforce them!
hosalabad@reddit
Sorry not optional in this situation.
yaahboyy@reddit
man..my job makes me do interviews and help scout even though I am just a support specialist making 25 an hour. And then they make me train them even though theyre making 22 an hour
red5_SittingBy@reddit
I would've laughed out loud in the meeting if this happened to me
MyDadsGlassesCase@reddit
This sounds like something from BOFH :-D
commissar0617@reddit
At least they informed you of the hiring.
doofusdog@reddit
Where is laptop for Bob. Who is Bob? Never heard of him.
Accounts for Bob? See above
So many times.
We need laptop. I don't keep $1000 leased MacBooks lying around.
Oh.
One of 400 reasons I left.
InvincibearREAL@reddit
please proof-read your post, this was a struggle to read
TEverettReynolds@reddit
This whole thing is a dumpster fire. If you have a policy for onboarding, you follow the policy. Period. Without an exemption from the Head of IT and Head of HR, you follow the policy. Next issue.
Also, the new employee who sat for 4 hours and twiddled their thumbs instead of reaching out to their boss, HR, or a anyone in the office who could direct them to the help desk... also sounds like a real winner. You can expect them to pull this BS later when they blame IT for not completing their work. Be prepared for that.
AppIdentityGuy@reddit
Yes but policiesans procedures are never updated to deal with new realities and tech. As an example with o365/entraid and Autopilot no IT team should be prepping laptops for new staff...
kerosene31@reddit
It always amazes me with onboarding. To hire someone, someone has to create a posting, interview multiple candidates, conduct follow up interviews, make an offer(s), put in a bunch of HR paperwork to hire someone.
That's a lot of effort to go from "I need someone to do X" to "I hired someone to do X".
Yet when the day comes for that person to start, nobody thinks to maybe... check in on them and see how they are doing? Maybe check and see if they have something to do?
SergioSF@reddit
Who wouldent have gone for help from another coworker, gone to reception or ANYONE? What a failure of a coworker.
That manager wont last 2 years.
dcandler@reddit
I'm so glad neither me nor my staff have to sit with new users. Their equipment is setup on their desk and their temp pw handed off to their supervisor. We don't talk to them unless they have a problem.
djaybe@reddit
IT controls your data and your access. So what are you challenging now?
UrAntiChrist@reddit
I just said this morning: I really need to get my ESP cert.
CombatMedic77@reddit
Once had HR taking a new user on a tour stop by our office and introduce them to us, to the surprise of everyone, as we had no new user ticket.
braliao@reddit
Being to many similar companies and helped them rebuild their IT team, and these kind of scenario is usually the one that I demonstrate my "don't fuck with me" skills.
hillside126@reddit
Am I the only one wondering why this lady just sat in her office for four hours doing nothing? After 30 minutes I would have found my manager or someone to ask what was going on. Seems wild to me.
Kessler_the_Guy@reddit
If you are sitting around for 4 hours with nothing to do and you don't stop and think, "gee, I better figure out what is taking so long with this equipment", maybe the problem is you. Even if IT dropped the ball, in what job is it acceptable to just sit and stare at a wall for 4 hours, and leave early?
lost_signal@reddit
I did IT for a call center (We recorded not just call CDRs but all internal calls) and it was fucking hilarious how often people would like and throw IT under the bus when I first showed up.
I started playing recordings, and putting ticket system emails on the projector and everyone learned real quick to blame someone other than IT... And to hate me. Like holy shit did our customer service head hate me.
It was kinda jarring coming to work at my first "real world job" and realize the median employee was lazy, lying and awful at their job. I had a good department (good mentor, good people I worked with) and had a few allies in other departments (Mostly just asked them to show me what their workflow was, and then would find ways to automate 80% of the bullshit they had to do).
largos7289@reddit
Welcome to the party... I especially love the ones where they go on the tour and the person say oh hi this is the IT dept, oh this is so and so she starts today can she get x,y,z setup? dude this is like the first time i'm even hearing about her and we keep very low stock of laptops. LOL
narcissisadmin@reddit
That's just infuriating.
ms6615@reddit
I love when people who get paid more than me think it’s my fault that they cannot follow a basic list of steps in a process that happens all the time
AGenericUsername1004@reddit
All the places I've worked pretty much everyone got paid more than me apart from when I was a Contractor on my own terms.
NetworkMachineBroke@reddit
More often than not, it was a basic list of steps that they ordered someone else to make.
And then they look at it once and never again.
I_T_Gamer@reddit
Had a similar "IT Sucks" issue a few days ago. The meeting ended with "you guys can see Teams messages!?"... Our group is taking bets whether this person will be on the departing list or not. My money is on this Friday....
trev2234@reddit
Not sure why you were pulled into that meeting. Your manager simply needed to ask that question when the first email was sent over.
Unless you work for a company where people pull anyone into a meeting with no prep; in that case I’d ask for the ticket ref after they’ve made their “case”. I’d allow everyone to speak first.
cptadder@reddit (OP)
I was the one listed on the ticket as I prepped the laptop and that happened to be one of my onsite days. Normally I'd get a call from the new employee supervisor saying hey can we come down I have the new user here. Instead said supervisor (who was also that department head since it was a manager level hire) took her on the tour then brought her to her office and left her there and went off to do department manager things.
trev2234@reddit
So a simple email to you asking what was happening with the ticket was the first thing to do. Creating a meeting with multiple heads of dept over the potential mishandling of a single ticket is insane. Whoever decided to waste everyone’s time needs a talking to.
Tomahawk72@reddit
How dare you not read minds! Your IT dammit! /s
sysadminrus@reddit
Got told someone new was starting today a few days ago.
Never got an email, or any info about them. I don't even know their name. Guess who didn't get onboarded?
vaughannt@reddit
Why didn't this adult, the new employee, go ask someone where their stuff was instead of sitting there for four hours? Incredible.
LopsidedPotential711@reddit
Why would a thinking adult just sit on her ass without asking were IT staff can be located? Some people focus on the problem, and others focus on the solution.
calcium@reddit
Did the media manager ever reach out to the department head to request an update? Can’t really imagine starting at a new company and sitting there for 4 hours waiting for something without taking some initiative and reaching out to people to see what’s going on. Or maybe the department head was reminded and never did their job?
Either way it sounds like a total failure on their end.
cptadder@reddit (OP)
As far as I can tell they came in. Took the tour. Did a little bit of light office decoration then sat in the chair on their personal phone for 4 hours. Then they went home.
Since their job title is Head of media relations and I'm pretty sure they don't have anybody who reports to them. I can only assume they were highly productive.
kg7qin@reddit
Wanna bet they are starting to use their personal email for business stuff now as well?
You can almost guarantee the manager was sending them crap to the first email address with their name that popped up and anyone else on those chains is following suit.
BloodFeastMan@reddit
Left after four hours because no one showed up to help .. Sounds like a very entitled mentality.
badaboom888@reddit
whole scenario sounds pathetic as hell
30yearCurse@reddit
Worked for a small IT company. Owner was bragging how he found this great guy. We were having our morning meeting. I could see some guy walk down the hallway, look in the office and where we were. Turned around and left.
Told boss man that I think his great new hire just quit..
bjc1960@reddit
Regardless of the process, I would expect this person to have a manager or peers that would help.
mazobob66@reddit
I agree on manager stepping up. I don't agree on peers. IT is a "peer" by some managers' definition.
Bob_12_Pack@reddit
I've been there before, first day at a new job and they weren't quite ready for me equipment-wise, this was how it went down at pretty much all my jobs, no big deal, but here they have a department head, director of IT, the HR manager, and now a sysadmin, having a confrontational meeting about something that could have easily been taken care of in a ticketing system, or hell, even a phone call or email, but no let's waste man hours having a meeting/pissing contest so we can assign blame. And what's up with the new person just leaving like that? Sounds pretty toxic.
Fearless_Barnacle141@reddit
My favorite was when an onboarding ticket was put in at 4:45 on a Friday and being asked why I didn’t have the laptop ready for 8am Monday. I worked in a warehouse, grocery store, and MSP NOC prior to healthcare and I swear to god none of those places burned through employees half as quickly as we do in this industry. Clinical folks are a really fickle bunch
Unable-Entrance3110@reddit
This was a comedy of errors.
Honestly, if any one person is to blame, it's the new person for just leaving without notifying anyone.