Did life turn out the way you expected it would?

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myThrowWayNW@reddit

That’s a big nope. I made one decision 35 years ago to chase a dream that never happened.

I was 21, just finished a winter working as a bartender/ski instructor/night watchman at a ski resort and went to work that summer for the Park Service. It would be my last truly long term happiness with me.

Then I made a stupid decision. My job in the park was seasonal and instead of looking for another park to winter over, I came home and took a job I didn’t really like, but the money was good. Then, I started an avocation and for the next 35 years did everything I could to make a dream happen.

Then one day I woke up. I was 56, 125lbs overweight with anxiety and depression. High blood pressure to boot. I have a terrible diet, my body hurts all over. I’ve had 17 different jobs, part of a silent co-existence marriage and will have to work until I’m 80. I sacrificed 30 years to make a dream come true for nothing. Yes, I think about suicide on a daily basis. I figure I got maybe 10 years at the most. If I’m lucky.

The shining spot? I have a really cool daughter who is a great human being. So proud of her. She hugs me every day when I get home and it has saved me on so many levels.

So, no. My life is a waste of space. I had so much potential and I threw it away for a stupid dream.

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1Random_Persona@reddit

Sure did! Unfortunately. But at 50 I am finally on the path. We learn slow.

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BroccoliStrong8256@reddit

Nope. When I was 7 I expected to be a ninja.

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disturbed_ghost@reddit

pirating gets old quickly.. you can try at home. go stand on one foot for 10 minutes and report back

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bk2947@reddit

Pirating is just doing crime, but on a boat.

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BoiledDenimForRoxie@reddit

So it's really rad?

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chamrockblarneystone@reddit

I joined the Marines at 17 and lived the filthy, violent pirate life for 4 years. Then I got out out and lived llike a filthy, violent, drunk, drug addled surfer. Somewhere in there I got educated. Now I’m 57.

I have two amazing succesful kids. I’m so glad they did not follow in my footsteps.

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2begreen@reddit

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Weneedaheroe@reddit

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I still have my outfit, my Gis, belt, Tabi footwear. It still fits too. And my Boken (wooden sword), Kasuri-fundo (like an "inverted" nunchuck, long chain short handles, for capturing sword), my wooden Tessen, (which equates to a metal fan, when closed is a blunt object), my Cane (a walking stick as weapon). My rubber Shuriken, ninja stars, (I'm Australian, possessing real Shuriken is the equivalent to having a butterfly knife or other similar illegal weapon). We used to train using improvised throwing objects, like egg flips. I also have my rubber knife, we would often train with a black marker, so you could see the 'flesh cuts'.

At the beginning of training and end we would have guided meditation. Which was essentially tapping into our deeper primal instincts.

A simple example is, when you are driving down the road and you see a pedestrian on the path in front of you, look at them Typically they turn their head, we know when we're being watched. The noise of modern life has drowned out what that means, but the instinct remains, just remember how to recognise it.

My friend. Don't despair. I strongly encourage you to read up. If you can, find a reputable school. Ninjutsu is taught in a similar fashion to Tai-Chi. Slow body movements. It connects mind and body. Sensai would always have us train on our least dominant side. In that, if you are right handed, learn it left handed first. The right will come automatically. I have incorporated this into my trade and general life. Good technique requires very little brawn, it's all essentially physics, for most martial arts.

A core of Ninjutsu is "Mushin". No Mind. In any discipline this is key. The internal monologue is gone. Muscle memory is far quicker than thinking. Like catching a ball.

I guarantee to you. If you concentrate your efforts into the more esoteric concepts, and learn the 'kata' slowly, without an opponent (imagine them, visualise), just the actions of the body, with the mind focused on just the movements, you will find reward. Learn in slow motion, your body already knows how to be quick.

Mate, if you just do it the first time, with some haphazard understanding, in the backyard. You will want to do it again. And then just run with it.

Mate. If you need some 'proof of sincerity' from one GenX to another. My Mum passed away Christmas Eve. In my arms. It is the most difficult of life's challenges I have ever faced. My spiel about Ninjutsu is as much for me as it is for you. A reminder. My mind has been scrambling for 'what can I do?'

You post reminded me of Ninjutsu.

So thanks mate. You've actually really helped me.

Just start Googling, Wiki. Look up some of the terms I used.

We get older, we think, oh I missed that bus. Bullshit. We just think we can't get to the bus stop anymore. Do what you've always wanted to do, within your self preservation parameters. The body may not be 20 anymore. But the young mind is always yours if you want it bad enough.

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BroccoliStrong8256@reddit

Thank you friend. I actually did study Shotokan for 20+ years, achieved high ranks and did some “weekend warrior” fighting. Although, to your comment, it was simply duking it out for points. It wasn’t a lifestyle as I’m sure your training is. I’ll look deeper into Ninjutsu. And my sincerest condolences regarding your Mom. Keep fighting the good fight.

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Separate-Succotash11@reddit

American Ninja or Beverly Hills Ninja?

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Critical-Diet-7082@reddit

Do it!

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Harambe-Avenger@reddit

You owe it to yourself to get the outfit, seduce a lady while wearing it, and live happily there after

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fgclolz@reddit

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SbMSU@reddit

There’s still time!

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nakerusa@reddit

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BigCT123@reddit

Not too late Kageninjagear.com 🥷

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Svenderhof@reddit

I got your back: https://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Ninja-Mask-out-of-a-T-Shirt

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halfmeasures611@reddit

no. much much worse

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t1k1dude@reddit

Not in the least. Born and raised on a council estate in Scotland. Same town that generations of family lived in. Thought that would be my life, working in a low paying job with not much chance of upward mobility. My dad got laid off right before I started university, so even though we had no money I didn’t qualify for assistance. Dropped out with plans to return later (never happened), tried a few different things to try and break out…even joined the Merchant Navy for a brief stint.

Met my wife online in 1999 after a scooter accident. Thank god for AOL chat rooms.

I don't own a loft in NY with a swing, which sucks, but I'm even more disappointed that I don't have a slide in my house.

Not at all. I thought I would have my first date when it was my senior prom. back in 2010........not one girl asked me out.

Nearly 15 years later and I still haven't had a date in my life, yet. I'm starting to seriosuly wonder if it's even possible for me.

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BraveG365@reddit

How old are you? Are you a GenXer?

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No_Remote_784@reddit

Oh, my goodness! I forgot that this is a subreddit for Gen Xer's.

"This is the only correct answer"

No, I don't think I could imagine or know what it was not to live in poverty as a kid.

I'm very grateful for escaping that. Hard work but also good fortune .

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Think_Information_60@reddit

Nope. I was SA’d at 16, which led to a lot of resentment and anger towards my parents and some friends who I felt could have prevented it. Barely made it out of high school and then got into a little bit of trouble with the law almost immediately after I turned 18. No jail time, but probation and a record meant I was painfully reminded of my stupidity every time I tried applying for a halfway decent job for the next 15 years. This all contributed to a bit of a “fuck it!” attitude when it came to being serious about life. I pretty much coasted through a bunch of shitty relationships, all of whom I cheated on, and I drank a lot and pissed my money away on stupid crap. 53 years old, obese, high blood pressure and cholesterol, and honestly, I’m just waiting to die.

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BrianLevre@reddit

Not at all. Years spent getting a doctorate degree. The industry wasn't what I thought it would be after a few years of it. It certainly didn't pay what I thought it would.

Years spent not working full time stacking up debt to get the education, then not making money, kids end up being more of a drain than you thought they'd be, no time or energy for anything but work, all your money goes to the family, none of the dreams I had came true, and biw I'm old and washed up.

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The_Outsider27@reddit

No. I remember the day of my 18th birthday feeling that my whole life was ahead of me. College bound. Then at 28 screwed up and married the wrong person. It was a waste of 15 years that I could've been with someone better. That was my entire 30's down the drain. I hate looking at school pictures of myself thinking Why? Now I try to not make mistakes or waste time. Grade: Professionally A+, Financially B+ , Physically B+ , Relationships D-

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ConfusedFishnChips@reddit

How do you know if you’re marrying the wrong person or not?

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The_Outsider27@reddit

can't speak for others. For me:

When you argue more than you talk

When the person:

is not really "for" you

is not passionate about you physically or emotionally

puts others before you

won't defend your honor or beliefs openly

is not your best friend

I also want to add when you could be just any other person to that person.

My ex just wanted a wife. Not me. Just a wife.

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ConfusedFishnChips@reddit

Makes sense. Appreciate the reply : )

I feel you on just wanting a wife/husband and you could be anyone…

...and i mean that in the most respectful way possible.

She teaches me morality - gentle usually, and with her slipper if necessary.

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msolorio79@reddit

Same here, but she has had to resort to karate kicks at times when I really piss her off.

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The_Outsider27@reddit

Yeah I found that eastern culture men are also better than western culture men.

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Skizot_Bizot@reddit

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Nope

I was told that there would be flying cars ,Homes on the Moon ,Teleportation ,World Peace, and 15% savings on my car insurance.

Almost killed myself at 19. Drove straight towards a 3ft thick brick wall, at the last second the thought ran through my mind how many people would be happy I was dead. I thought to myself "well, fuck them!" and slammed on the brakes. A cop saw this and pulled me over, and to his credit, all he did is ask me if I was ok and if I needed help.

And I've been dead three times: age 4, 41 & 46. I was in a horrible accident where I was the only survivor, walked away with minor scratches.

Divorced 3 times: 20 - she was literally homicidal, 31 - married 13 years, bitter divorce, cheated on me, totally awful person, 45 - married one year to a really wacky nurse whom I found in the back yard with a noose when I came home from work one day. Had her admitted to a facility. When she got out, she assaulted my 12 year old and that was the last straw.

Filed Chapter 7 last year. The noose is gone! I own a small agency that is doing well. I had to give up my dream car from since I was 14 - a Porsche - but being debt free was such a relief.

Currently married, very happy, international vacations every year, and just put in a bid on a $1.3M house (technically my wife did due to BK). I'm 55 now; the first 50 years pretty much sucked balls, but now I am very happy.

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foebiddengodflesh@reddit

Financially, about what I expected, more than I deserve. I thought I’d be in a LTR most of my life though, and single parenting isn’t what I had in mind

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nolongerbanned99@reddit

No. Wanted to be rich. Turns out 160k family income is just getting by in cali

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common_senz_centrist@reddit

I think my life turned out better than I could have ever imagined.

I made some really unconventional decisions in life and it all worked out.

One example is I literally told my boss to F off in front of the whole office and ended up winning employee of the year 2 months later.

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-CanisLupusLycaon-@reddit

Sort of. I wanted to be an F-14 Tomcat pilot (1986 Top Gun recruitment documentary and all). Instead, with little to no parental guidance or encouragement I enlisted (derp). I became an F-14B Plane Captain as a Jolly Roger my first tour and then went the route of Naval Special Warfare and ended up retiring after 22yrs of enlisted service. Not a bad career, fairly violent, but I survived. Semper Fortis.

Now I am fully retired and I live every day as an easy day. Hooyah.

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Gray-lady-gray@reddit

My turned out so much better than I expected.

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poloniumpanda@reddit

no, but I’m doing ok.

learned to live with the ups and downs.

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dammonl@reddit

Absolutely not. Never thought auto companies would sell out to foreign manufacturing over home grown. I live comfortably but nowhere where i thought i would be for retirement. Already accepted that i will never retire.

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Bill_maaj1@reddit

I didn’t really have any expectations. I joined the military right out of high school. That decision led me to where I am now. I am happy, make good money and have a healthy family.

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thomasburnspa@reddit

Better

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Nope Turned out much more difficult than I predicted

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Sweetness-520@reddit

No it did not! I kept waiting for my super powers to kick in!! Still hasn't happened? 😲😕😂

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Benniehead@reddit

That’s a hard no. I thought working your life away making someone else rich was some sucker shit and no life for me. Thought I’d be the one to beat system. Ya I definitely wasn’t. The games rigged against us. Also as the years wore on I lost the fire in my belly to not conform. So here I’am at 46 toiling the years away making someone else rich and putting few bucks in my pocket too. I guess it’s not awful.

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OH-Boredbwc@reddit

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AlbanyBarbiedoll@reddit

I really thought my career would be much different - I have to say that as I approach retirement I am disappointed with the world of work. My age and gender have been issues for me for awhile. Gender more so when I was younger; age and gender now - and it is almost like it is expected. I own my part in things not turning out as I expected. And most would probably find me wildly ungrateful and ridiculous for feeling like my career wasn't as good as I expected. But this is about how I feel - and I feel like I should have been more, done more, been recognized more, been appreciated more.

Neither-Designer-862@reddit

Nope. Hated school as a kid and never planned to go to college. I graduated college @ 37 and have been a teacher for 25 years and counting.

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OldBanjoFrog@reddit

Not even close. Thought I would be dead before 30. I planned to be dead at 31. Life changed, and somehow I am still here. I am still waiting to feel like a grown up. I wanted to be a spy when I was a kid. I am not a spy.

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Reasonable_Smell_854@reddit

Not even remotely. I still periodically find myself in a beautiful house. With a beautiful wife.

This. People ask me how life is - that is my reply- “Same as it ever was…”

Oh boy, where to start? I had some Grand illusions about maybe going to college, maybe marrying some rich guy and having a little horse farm with perfectly manicured Green pastures. Instead, at 16 I was sent off to a a facility for juvenile delinquents even though I was barely that, it was more due to ADHD, issues from being adopted, and lots of child abuse. From there I was sent to a group home, sent home briefly and then emancipated at 17. I went back and got my GED when I was 21, went to college for a year, and then just be bopped for around 10 years. Working way too many jobs. I've had about 250 jobs. I think in my life. I've lost count. ADHD is a b****.

Went back to school in 2009 after having spent several years working in the conventional swine industry. So I went back for agriculture. Followed up with a degree in animal science. Got back into conventional swine, hated the farm and the company I was working for became a mailman for a couple years. Got an offer to go back to the farm I was working on for a ridiculous amount of money. Took it. Got royally screwed over, needed a fallback job, decided I could clean because I used to have a house cleaning business. Now at age 50. I have my first class boilers license, I work for one of the largest school districts in the state, I make pretty decent money. Unfortunately. I also live in one of the largest cities in the state and I am absolutely not a city person. So much so that I even bought a little condo. 🙄

I just can't afford to buy 5 acres of land yet, but hopefully in the next 6 to 8 years that will change. But if someone had told me, even 20 years ago that I would have gone from my smaller town/ city life, to living in a very big city and even enjoying my life, I would have laughed my ass off. Come to find out I make a pretty decent custodial engineer.

The amount of details I'm leaving out is absolutely staggering, my life has been one adventure after another, not all of them good but all of them interesting. I sang on stage with Vitas in San Francisco, I was a professional racehorse groom, I went 10 hours South of the border into Mexico. Was probably the second white woman in the little town that I went to, we went up into the mountains and found ourselves surrounded by the men who guard the pot fields. Obviously nothing happened, but that was not ever something I thought would happen to me. I guess I should know by now to expect the unexpected but!

IILWMC3@reddit

In 2023 I had a spinal fusion, I took 6 weeks off and my MRI's came back... I had to put my notice into work as I needed another spinal fusion as soon as we could after my 1st one healed (two seperate areas) 8 months later, that 2nd fusion happed. Life has been a shit show since. I am still having issues, have done MANY non surgical procedures with zero help and now getting a spinal cord stimulator soon. Shit. Show. Thankfully, the kids are all grown and out at this point, so their lives are not also in this hell.

I sold my home two years ago. (2023) mostly to pay medical bills (private ins is great!) and credit card bills as we racked it up trying to survive on one income (I was always the main bread winner, hubs income was our "funny money" AKA - he only makes 45K a year). We moved in with my mom... in her freaking BASEMENT. I actually am that person who lives in their mom's basement, 50 years old... unemployed, unable to work, broke as hell and a high probability that I will be in a wheel chair by 60. With ZERO money, ZERO home and just ZEROOOO!

So no, this is NOT where I wanted to be at all. I worked for the world and at the end of the day I just got a nice, steamy pile of poo 💩!

Humiliating, painful and exhausting best sums up my life.
I do not recommend.

AlwaysAnF@reddit

No. Bipolar surfaced in my twenties. I have a masters in what was supposed to be ‘the’ degree. Now I’m on disability because I can barely function. Married an abusive asshole when I was 24. Got out of that. Second marriage ended in disaster. But I have two amazing kids. On my third marriage and he’s supportive even through my bipolar madness. He’s my best friend. I have many blessings but I grieve my potential and the life I thought I’d live.

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algar116@reddit

Wound up in a completely different place than I expected to be....but better than I would have planned for.

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Inevitable-Mouse9060@reddit (OP)

grew up tiny town in NY - more cows than people

Now live in vietnam

Asia > western by a country mile

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Upset-Possible-889@reddit

Except that I wanted a flying car by 2000, so far so good.

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GothicGingerbread@reddit

Definitely not. I never, ever would have thought I'd wind up restoring old windows, or enjoying making and repairing things. I did think I'd get married and have children, but did neither – though it turned out that I didn't so much want children as I was conditioned to think I should have them, so that's not something I regret at all. Life is full of surprises – some good, some bad.

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Advanced_Visual_2779@reddit

Yes

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Careless-Gazelle-247@reddit

Nope. I definitely didn't plan on living this long. My parents are right around 80, and I turn 49 this year. I've got a house, a wife, two vehicles, three dogs, student loan debt, a health issue doubling as a much needed lifestyle change (diabeetus), a dead-end job, and I'm in a skate punk band.

We seemed to be aware the world had changed.

Latch key kids, missing children, etc. Family life was turn upside down.

Many grew up with some real middle class money but saw the toll it took on families. Mother's entering work force en masse and divorces.

The whole nuclear war thing didn't help. Many came from broken homes, selfish parents and the world leaders ready to torch earth.

This could be why we are a bit pragmatic/ cynical on life.

Just my observation.

FYI- both my parents had " white privilege". Got houses and cars. Born in early 50s. Both junkies and alcoholics who destroyed everyone around them

we got pretty close over the past couple years, so we got that going for us...

...which is nice.

I dusted myself off and went and got my degree — on journalism. Now I’m an editor in Washington DC for a major national news outlet. I get paid to hold power to account, to ask and answer questions in service to my fellow Americans, to turn over rocks and shine a bright light in places where politicians don’t want us to look — and to satisfy my curiosity. Fuck the man/fight the power/question authority is literally what I do.

So I’m not ripping through the clouds on full afterburner, but it’s something like that, because being in the news business is full throttle in its own way — and so I still feel like an American badass. And part of what’s in my remit is aviation and space, so I get to scratch that itch.

I wanted to travel the world and I’ve done that too.

Life is in its face nothing like I had envisioned really. And I fucked up plenty and almost flung myself into several buzz saws.

But it’s pretty close in the ways that matter.

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DapperGovernment4245@reddit

Not in the least.

Then I decided I wanted to go to film school, again Dad had other ideas.

I bummed around college for a while, finally getting a Philosophy degree.

At my first opportunity I moved 2000 miles across the country to take a job. That worked out well for me, spending 11 years there. I spent the next 12 years building off of that job.

Today I’m doing ok financially, and work remote. I’m 48, and 3 years ago finally got out of paycheck to paycheck.

But my home office is filled with hobbies I never spend time on.

I’m working a job I hate for the money.

Thanks for the support. I just take life day by day now.

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BitCurious8598@reddit

No

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Falconer_215@reddit

No

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elissapool@reddit

Absolutely not. Everything was fine until I was 47 and then suddenly I developed a chronic illness. It has me disabled, housebound and restricted to only eating a few foods. There is no cure. I never saw that coming

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Lifesabeach6789@reddit

Same, friend.

52, healthy all my life until 40. Then boom.. 2 different cancers at once. @ 50, diagnosed with a terminal illness. Prognosis in 2022 was 3 years. If I live out 2025 it’ll be a miracle.

I’m ready to check out though. Life has been pretty shit since day 1. I’m tired.

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elissapool@reddit

I'm so so sorry. You've been dealt a terrible hand. It's not fair. Hoping for strength and grace for you

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Lifesabeach6789@reddit

Thanks so much.

Dark and hilarious lol

I relate to it

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No-Detective1810@reddit

I’m 51 and can’t say anything turned out how I thought it would? Brought up countryside, typical idea of “good” job, getting married minus kids you name it. None of it happened, moved abroad when I was 33, well paid jobs etc but no relationship nor marriage….and once more looking for a new job cause in my head I’m still chasing the idea of having a successful career🤔

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NecessaryWeather4275@reddit

Not at all.

Hopefully I’m headed in the right direction now though.

Never let someone else define you.

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Ladymistery@reddit

Not even close.

I have always known, since I was a child, that I wouldn't work until normal retirement.

I always assumed it meant I wouldn't be alive to do it. I was wrong - not dead, just disabled.

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TenuousOgre@reddit

Mine isn’t exactly how I planned. But I’ not too unhappy with the differences between abuse my desire for fame died during college. I wanted t be a best selling writer and director of movies. End up doing multi-media and UX design, now I’m a product owner. On the side I write 2-4 scripts a year. The sort that are b-grade movie or personal reel type stuff. My contract keeps my name off them entirely. But I get paid a chunk of cash up front, double it after the final edit. I only do 3 rounds editing with extra pay on a per hour basis, keeps me out of endless revisions. Doesn’t seem like much, 20-60k extra a year. But for retire,ent it has helped a ton. I touch none of it except for taxes.

Married, empty nesters with four married kids living nearby. Health is more a C than A but all else is good at 58.

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Wrong-Currency5146@reddit

No , I’ve been waiting since 2015 for my flying DeLorean .

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Inevitable-Mouse9060@reddit (OP)

i just want a time machine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q29sOLG8xGE

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jonhinkerton@reddit

Not even remotely and I have no hangups about it. I got that nonsense out of my system 20 years ago. These days I am ok with just being.

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wwgardiner@reddit

No, but not in a bad way. I made choices that led me down a different path than I planned on. But where I am now I can’t imagine being anywhere else. Every step led to this, and I’m glad I made the trip.

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Psychological_Mix594@reddit

Life did but the United States did not

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Same dude, same.

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SoCal7s@reddit

Me too. Happy single man child.

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Inevitable-Mouse9060@reddit (OP)

come to asia - eastern women are so family oriented and fun to be around.

its what i did.

dont regret it for a minute.

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SumoHeadbutt@reddit

I'm saving for as early retirement to go back to the Old County across the pond

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Inevitable-Mouse9060@reddit (OP)

asia is nicer and cheaper.

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SumoHeadbutt@reddit

to each his own. I am not a fan of hot-humid-wet summers

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Inevitable-Mouse9060@reddit (OP)

I grew up up north - the saying went - if cold just put on another layer.

na

No. It’s not bad, but I expected to be a wife and stay at home mom (don’t make fun of me - we want what we want, and that’s what I wanted.) I thought I’d be writing young adult fiction - a small scale Judy Blume, if you will.

Instead I work in PR, and my husband was killed a few days shy of our 6th anniversary. Never remarried- never met anyone else I loved like that, or who values me like he did. He did give me two children, and enough money to mostly work from home when they were growing up, so I guess I got that part, and I’m grateful for it. I write for myself and I used to blog a bit, but I’m better at essays and memoir style writing than coming up with story ideas. I like my job, so that’s ok. Now that our kids are away at school I really miss my man, and what I thought our empty nest life would be like. I also thought we’d end up in another part of the country, and had he lived we would have, but nope. I’m not in my hometown, but other than a brief stint I’ve spent my life in my home state. I wish I’d had the guts to take more chances, and I did when I was very young, but after my mom died young and then he did, I was afraid of the universe. So I played it safe. I didn’t want to move my kids to some new city and deprive them of the rest of our family. It was the right choice for them - for me? Who knows? But a big part of parenting is making choices that are best for the kids you’re raising vs yourself. I don’t regret it - I just wonder, what if?

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Shim-Shim13@reddit

You’ve been dealt real misfortune, but, for what it’s worth, I think you’re doing great. God bless you.

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NeckPourConnoisseur@reddit

Of all the words of tongue and pen, the saddest are, "It might have been"

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Inevitable-Mouse9060@reddit (OP)

there is one of the most heart wrenching broadway play called "If/then"

https://www.mtishows.com/ifthen

highly recommended - same fate, different timelines - i cried my eyes out. happened to come out at the end of my marriage.

I decided to take some chances and went to asia - best decision of my life.

Remarried to a wonderful Vietnamese woman who is a saint.

But that play still haunts me in back of my mind.

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_Silent_Android_@reddit

Fuck no.

Too soon to tell. These questions are best answered posthumously.

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Iamthapush@reddit

It’s valuable to pause momentarily look around and attempt toadjust course if necessary.

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Omphaloskeptique@reddit

Do you really believe that you are the captain of your chosen course in life? No such path exists. There is no course. Guidance one must seek, but from within. The path always changes. Your perspective always changes. Regardless, you can never stray the course.

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Iamthapush@reddit

I believe I can have a massive effect on the path and outcomes in my life. Of course there are things beyond my control.

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Cyrus_Imperative@reddit

We were fed a bunch of lies about our future, and how if we just did X then we automatically would be rewarded with Y. That being said, I never drowned in quicksand or got vaporized in a nuclear war.

ButtonWeak@reddit

Same.

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cawfytawk@reddit

Huggs

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LuckEnvironmental694@reddit

COVID fucked many lives, including mine however I’m glad to be here posting on this comment. Bad back, can’t work normally in my trade and been lonely. However better than dead. Going for MRI and orbit scan tomorrow. Getting little things done helps me. Depression is a killer. I’m finally going to see a psychiatrist. Worst case I waste time best case it helps me turn my life around in unimaginable ways. Tired of being depressed.

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cawfytawk@reddit

Sick and Tired of being sick and tired. I hear that, friend. I've had so much therapy over the decades from different therapists and sources that it's redundant at this point - I know what I need to do and just gotta gitter done. Thank you for giving me perspective. All the best to you, truly.

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Demented-Alpaca@reddit

Fuck no... I got old.

My knees hurt, my back hurts, I have to wear glasses, I lost my hair and my hearing isn't what it used to be. None of that shit was going to happen to me goddamn it!

Also, I'm not wealthy, not a huge success, don't have a gorgeous wife, don't get laid on the regular, and I had to have a colonoscopy! Do you know how much bullshit all of that is?

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Inevitable-Mouse9060@reddit (OP)

health is critical.

We all go thru the seasons of life at some point.

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Demented-Alpaca@reddit

I don't think you understand!

This was NOT supposed to happen to me! Life wasn't going to be LIKE THIS! I wasn't going to have a camera stuffed up my pooper!

Some ways better, some ways worse.

Better:

I (from the midwest) married an actual California girl. We've been together 27 years and married 18.5 years.

We have a nice house and if all goes as planned, it'll be paid off in 5 years.

Worse:

I don't have a castle on a tropical island.

I am living the dream I've had since I was 5, on a peaceful farm, surrounded by animal friends. Didn't get here quite the way I expected (I'm not a veterinarian) and it took decades longer than that kindergartner ever imagined, but the dream is here and I'm happy with how things turned out.

Also surprised, as someone else mentioned, by the complete absence of thermonuclear war. And no flying cars either!

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LuckyAd2714@reddit

Nope. It’s better. I thot I’d be dead or homeless

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Ruthless4u@reddit

Some parts yes, some parts no.

When I was 17, I didn't think I'd live to see 21. At 22, I thought I'd be dead at 30. At 34, I thought I'd be dead at 34 (I was in Iraq at the time). At 35, I could not conceive of being 50. Now I'm 53 and I'm trying to figure out if I'll be able to run a 5k when I'm 60. Life is strange.

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Diligent_Language_63@reddit

Nope never expected anything

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NorraVavare@reddit

Fuck no! My crappy genes broke my body just as my career was going really well. I'm permanently disabled and lost not only the career I chose at 12 years old, but the hobby I started at 5 years old.

I also wanted a big family, but not only did I never get married, that same broken body barely let me have 1 kid (we both almost died). Oh and I'm stuck living in hell because I can't live alone and my parents retired to some gross southern place that's a bad choice for vampires.

But at least my head is no longer crushing my neck.

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Superb_Ant_3741@reddit

For those of you who lean into astrology: how has life been for Dragon GenX vs all the other zodiacs?

I’m a GenX Dragon, and it’s been exactly what a dragon life is meant to be: the lowest lows and the highest highs. No middle ground. No ordinary. It’s been heartbreaking, surreal, beautiful, grief filled, dream filled, wild ride and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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No. It’s so much better.

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mishthegreat@reddit

Not at all in my 20s I expected to be bouncing between relationships, doing loads of drugs, wasting money on cars and jap bikes and living god knows where. My current life is pretty much the exact opposite.

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Fresh-Willow-1421@reddit

Nobody thought I’d survive my teenage years. I started running away from home at 7. Using drugs and shoplifting to get drugs at 10. Hitchhiked across the US at the age of 14. I’m almost 60 now. I can’t believe I lived either.

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Nope, not at all. I never considered owning a business and then stumbled into it after being laid off. 22 years later, here I am still in business with many of my original clients. It’s one of my few accomplishments and something none of my other friends seriously did.

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BraveG365@reddit

What type of business is it? Thanks

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elwood0341@reddit

I pictured myself driving around in a van solving mysteries.

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Relevant-Lychee-2710@reddit

More or less. Think I'm more disappointed in the world than I thought I would be. But I also never saw myself caring so much. Like wtf is that all about am I right? 🙃✨☮️

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Motor_Meaning_7819@reddit

I embarked on my tech career in the 90s, full of idealism and optimism.

I am not sure I ever envisioned anything for myself. I was raised by wolves with zero guidance. My father did not think a college degree was valuable. Things turned out superb, much better than you would expect. Been married for 28 years to a loving wife, have a wonderful daughter, a college degree in computer engineering, and a magical career.

XKD1881@reddit

No, not really. But could be worse.

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Boiler_Golf@reddit

Nope. Turned out much worse than I expected. Mostly my fault. Regret most of my decisions. Hoping it ends soon.

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Designer_Iron_2730@reddit

Nope

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Kilted-Brewer@reddit

I learned early to avoid having expectations.

If you don’t have expectations, you won’t be disappointed when they aren’t met.

When I was in my early 20’s, I worked at In Incredible Universe. They sold laptops, and I always kinda envied the people who could buy them. They were about $2500 on the low end, and I always thought “I’ll never be able to own a laptop.”

Younger me would be so impressed at the tech I have today, so while life didn’t turn out quite as I expected, I always marvel at my laptop. It’s silly, but it means a lot to me.

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Diligent_Shopping445@reddit

Yes to this!

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Ill-Ad997@reddit

Not at all.

Taking advantage of any kind of luck you have, working hard, getting those degrees... All that ish you're 'supposed to do' ... Yeah. I did that. And now we have our own business that serves others and about 20 employees and another 10 independent contractors.

Lmao. No.

Didn't think I'd live past 25. Didn't want to.

Never thought I'd be happy sober.

Never thought I'd be a father, let alone a husband.

Never thought I'd do the work I do.

MizLucinda@reddit

I was just pulling dried poop out of the cat’s tail, so no. I thought life might be glamorous. It’s not.

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Displaced_in_Space@reddit

As a teen, I had a deeply held conviction that I'd die before the year 2000, which would have made me 35. I grew up originally (first 8 years or so) in what was then a lower middle class family, which turned into poverty through divorce of an extermely violent marriage.

A deadbeat dad combined with mom with lots of energy but no skills. We ate goverment cheese. We had christmas food and gifts donated by the Salvation Army. Both my parents were gone to lung cancer by the time I was 25.

Literally every indicator pointed to that I would turn into a financial, societal, or health wreck.

But, I've had three different cancers, the last of which is 4 years in the rearview mirror.

I taught myself most of what turned into my career...at least the early stages of it. I later went back and got both undergrad and Masters degrees. I never thought I'd ever finish a college degree.

I'll turn 60 this year. I own a lovely home in southern CA (not near the fires, thank God.). Although my mother was never able to own a home after the divorce, leaving us very, very housing insecure, both of my siblings have long been home owners as well. I know we're all particularly proud of breaking that cycle.

By any measure of what I saw as marital life growing up, I should be a dating/marriage disaster. I've been happily married to the same woman for 30 years. In fact, I'm friends with almost all of my longtime dating partners on social media, and my wife is friends with them as well.

I've been at my job at the same company for even longer than I've been married. I've grown within the company, and multiple six-figure income.

plutoniumshore@reddit

I thought I'd be married and have kids.

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HURTBOTPEGASUS9@reddit

gif

Nope

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neveragoodthing@reddit

I had no idea what to expect. It's been rough at times but I wouldn't change a thing. Except one thing in 1989.

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SnooHobbies7109@reddit

For some reason, I never have expectations

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DeadMike123@reddit

Yeah except for reddit censoring everything i say.

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Knuckletest@reddit

No. Not financially successful at all. Bad medical issues. Wasted too many years with a bad woman.

I didn’t marry Alyssa Milano, either.

Or Jenny McCarthy.

Didn’t plan to marry an alcoholic who would hit me and the kids when she was hammered.

However, I had a thick influence in raising two incredible humans. They’re grown and successful.

Job, money, and family wise yes it did. But when I was a teen, I assumed I'd have my friends for life. Learned the hard way as an adult that friendships come and go.

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MrsPottyMouth@reddit

Not even close.

calculatedx@reddit

A bit worse. Thought I'd be dead, not a couch surfing fuck up. I mean, yeah a fuck up but thought I'd least have my own tiny hovel.

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MrBuns666@reddit

Yes and No.

I am doing what I always wanted to do, but the fame and fortune didn’t follow!

I’m happier well beyond what I expected I’d be at my age.

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MoBea@reddit

No.

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LadyC717@reddit

No

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Metagion@reddit

Not even close. I had a band, made a demo tape, and....

Now I'm 55 F two weeks away from collecting unemployment.

Hooray! (siiiiiiiiigh)

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mmaine9339@reddit

I literally had no plan. I was lucky just to graduate college. People would ask me what I was planning to do next I really had no clue I just threw myself out of the world and try to learn as much as I could and work hard.

I wound up getting into international education traveling to over 50 countries and starting a small business. I'm not remarkably wealthy but I'm pleased to say that I've supported myself working independently for about 20 years.

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weedfee69@reddit

Wow awesome 👌

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sherribaby726@reddit

I had very low expectations. As I aged and realized I wasn't the person my parents said I would be, I became a different and better person. Not what my 15 year old self imagined, but a fulfilling life nonetheless.

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dissidentaggressor6@reddit

Hahahahahaha...no

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toooldforlove@reddit

I was raised in a cult that taught that all I needed to be happy was to a be good wife and married at 18, What could go wrong?

tadpole_the_poliwag@reddit

I was 100% positive that I was going to start exhibiting all the characteristics and behaviors of schizophrenia by the time I was 25. I don't know when it started but as long as I can remember I was positive that I was schizophrenic. Turns out I just had really shitty alcoholic parents and after I started going to therapy I learned that people have an inner dialog.

Sidenote: I'm not making light of the horrible horrible mental illness that is schizophrenia. My heart goes out to anyone dealing with it themselves or who is helping someone else get through it. I'm an addictions counselor and have seen WAY too many people dealing with shitty meds, shitty insurance, shitty support, shitty mental health services, not too mention the stigma from society on mental health services still today which blows my GD mind, and with schizophrenia at least, they usually turn to the bottle. I don't blame them it works immediately and it's always there for them. America's a shithole. Capitalism is quite literally killing us. The amount of people who are apathetic FAR outnumber the amount of people who are empathetic.

Be nice to people, you never know what someone else is going through. Raise the vibration.

Stop stigma for mental health treatment

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

no

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No_Bake_3627@reddit

It turned to shit. As expected from childhood.

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IamMetsik@reddit

I didn’t know what to expect. So I’m just rolling with it and enjoying life.

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Breklin76@reddit

I didn’t expect it to be anything. It’s been fucking rough and it makes me tougher than a wreck from jumping my BMX 10 fold. I have my health, my sons and a good career.

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RainyDayRose@reddit

Today I am exactly where I wanted to be in life. If someone had shown my life today to me as a child, I would have been happy.

Yeah, kinda. Raised poor, saw the mistakes my parents generation made. Tried to avoid them. Went to a state school rather than ivy/private. Never took too much debt. Learned how to cook. Helped my friends if I could. Took less money at jobs for better working conditions and pension.

Bought a house I could afford even though it's in a "bad" area. Now a good area. Bought a sensible car.

The friends I grew up with that had the PlayStation or 4 wheeler and essentially given everything are struggling now. And they are angry now, you know the type.

Really thought we would have universal health care and better environmental laws by now. But you know shareholder value and whatnot.

Our generation was the last to have access to affordable education, and we learned the internet when it was still beeps and biopsy. Some took advantage, others took advantage of others. We are such a weird generation

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dendawg@reddit

I honestly believe that life never turns out to be the way you planned for. It’s how you deal with the changes it’s what really matters.

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askmagoo@reddit

Disaster.

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I wanted to be a combo of Cher and earth Vader. So, no.

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Interesting_Bet2828@reddit

God no. I didn’t think I’d live past 30. I’ve had 4 career restarts but that seems to be more the norm nowadays. I’m mostly just tired boss

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FeanorOnMyThighs@reddit

Seems about just where I'd find myself after a lifetime of non-stop pussy money weed.

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essdee88@reddit

Sometimes I pause for a reflective moment and ask myself “would 10 year old me be happy that this is where we’re at now?” and while I’m by no means financially well off, I have an amazing family of my own, do what I love for work, live somewhere very beautiful and am healthy.

Nope. I didn't think people were as awful as they are when I was young.

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Don_P_F@reddit

i didnt think i'd live this long

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No-Excitement3140@reddit

I was expecting mental health to improve with age...

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bobthenob1989@reddit

No, but then again I had no expectations.

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4N6momma@reddit

Nope. I accomplished everything I wanted to as a kid, but I didn't expect to end up disabled at 30, with 3 kids and my 2nd husband. The only thing I would change is to get rid of the brain tumors. Bad pancreas, and my bum heart. I want to live to see my kids walk down the aisle, have their own babies, and be able to enjoy life. Instead, I live ssi check to check, have no car (it broke down and had to sell it), and live in an apartment with my husband and disabled adult son that doesn't work for our health issues.

Hard to say. I'm not sure what I expected when I was 18 or such.

I can say with confidence that if 18 yo me got a look at the life he'd be living now he'd be fkn jazzed and maybe would calm tf down about where his life was headed.

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LaximumEffort@reddit

Overall, pretty close to my hopes.

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AppropriateAmoeba406@reddit

No. Better, actually.

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Goldie1976@reddit

Kinda, maybe, not really. I grew up on a farm so I thought I would be a farmer. That didn't happen but I went to school to fix machines and spent my life doing that.

I am sorry for your loss - i highly recommend broadening horizons - asia is incredible.

Source: I come from a tiny town in USA, and now live in Vietnam.

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RetiredLife_2021@reddit

No it didn’t but TBH…never had dreams of what the future could be when I was in my teens. I just figured I would go with what seemed like the norm for a man. Get a job, find a wife, have kids and raise them right, retire. Met my wife in HS and we never separated and got married at 25 years old, what I didn’t expect is for her to pass away at 39 years old. We would be walking and when I would see an old couple walking and holding hands I would look at her and tell her THAT’S going to be us, but that never got to happen, it didn’t turn out how I expected it.

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Inevitable-Mouse9060@reddit (OP)

I am so sorry

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RetiredLife_2021@reddit

Next month hard to believe it will be 20 years that’s she is passed, but also what didn’t go as expected is the impact she would have had on our children, they were 12 and 10, she passed about 2 weeks before our daughter’s 12th bday

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Finding_Way_@reddit

It turned out the way I WANTED it to turn out in that I'm married and have a wonderful partner, we have a pack of kids, and a very stable life.

But... It did NOT turn out the way I EXPECTED in that I thought I would end up in a different career and wasn't sure I would find a partner or have a successful marriage. Track record in my family is pretty dismal.

Am I NHL defenceman? Not yet. Mid 50s and still play but not happening.

Also- not a rock star.

Without_Portfolio@reddit

I guess so, yes. To be honest I had the worst high school guidance counselor. She asked what I thought my work would be like. I said I’d put on a suit, go to an office, and go home. Welp, that’s what I do! (Well, except for the suit part.)

I always wanted a wife, children, and dogs. Got those things and very thankful for good health and the ability to afford a roof over my head.

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shit_ass_mcfucknuts@reddit

No, my friend and I planned on being mercenaries for hire after the military.

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Huge_Razzmatazz_985@reddit

Nope! There were a few curve balls thrown my direction that were challenging as well as uplifting and life changing.

I don't know what my expectations really were growing up but the detours have turned out quite well - married for almost 27 years to an amazing woman, had kids early enough that we are now empty nesters who get to travel a lot and oh yeah, retired last year at 49.

No massive nuclear war... so yeah not at all like i thought.

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ChilledRoland@reddit

gif

No not at all. I have three amazing adult kids and I definitely imagined that. But I expected to travel the world and I haven't been anywhere. I did end up working with kids which I expected. I def didn't expect to be married twice. I never expected to own my own business or own my own home at 53. I'm proud of all I have accomplished and the boundaries I have learned to put up. I am proud I published books and sold my art like I had hoped. Except for travel , most of my dreams have come true.

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Inevitable-Mouse9060@reddit (OP)

we about same age - get passport - come to vietnam - it will blow your mind

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Ok_Sundae2107@reddit

I guess it depends on when the frame of reference is. When I was a kid, I expected to have the life I have now. I always wanted to have a family with multiple children. (I was the 3rd of 3 kids, and I enjoyed having a brother and a sister, so I guess that rubbed off on me).

not at all. i was raised with the whole nuclear family idea in my head but my mom and I were always the black sheep in our family. i figured i'd end up with the 2.5 kids and house in the burbs one day because that's what my family does (mostly) but now I'm 50, single, childless and happy about all of the above.

at 27 i quit my good job in finance to go be an au pair in europe for a year. and that was the single biggest decision to alter the trajectory of my life. I returned after a year and tried to settle down and have a "normal" life but after a few years I was done. started to learn how to earn online and hit the road on a 1 year backpacking trip. That was over 16 years ago now and I haven't lived in the US since. I've been based in europe for over 10 years and i'm buying property this year and preparing for a chill retirement of growing food, travel, creating art, and just doing whatever the fuck i want. it'll be great.

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pittbiomed@reddit

Its turned put better than i imagined

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jeffnorris@reddit

I didn't think I would be around right now and pretty much a shit show. So half right i guess.

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UberBricky80@reddit

Well when I was younger my cousin and I both wanted to me paleontologists, live in a duplex with a joining door so our wives could have coffee.

ditto

i pinch myself and wonder how the f i ended up in vietnam....

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