Be honest, at what point do children actually sleep a full nights sleep?

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zinasbear@reddit

Both of my kids slept through at 12ish months, except when they were going through a sleep regression. The only time they wake up during the night these days is if they're ill. They're 2.5 and 4.

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Did you deal with any separation anxiety? I think this is the issue, and im considering just getting the biggest bed and all sharing just to sleep, but im trying to refrain as long as I can, but jts been 3 years!

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polystyrenedaffodil@reddit

Mine still wakes up every few hours in my bed with me in it I'm afraid.

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Engels33@reddit

You won't sleep better with them in the room but you will set very destructive patterns of reliance on you at an age when they will embed them for years. It sounds like you need to get better at letting then settle themselves (self soothe). Try going in when they first wake, reassure them briefly but then clearly saying yo are going back to bed. Key is to keep the exchange short while they are still sleepy.

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trixxgrub@reddit

Disagree that kids knowing they can rely on their parents for comfort is”very destructive”.

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Ok-Train5382@reddit

Sleeping in your bed at 3 and 4 is fucking ridiculous.

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Girfftapher@reddit

You can try everything and sometimes you just have to do what is possible to ensure you can get a decent sleep. We had to get up 4-5 times a night to settle our daughter back off. Doing that every night and getting up for work at 6am will make you consider letting them sleep in your bed.

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Ok-Train5382@reddit

Thankfully my partner is with me on this, but in case of emergency, I would be sleeping in the spare room. I can’t be sleeping in a bed with three people in it

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Reasonable_Blood6959@reddit

Well I’m 27 and when I eventually sleep through a night I’ll let you know lol ;)

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

Hahaaha I can relate, only twice has anyone had my kids overnight, neither of them did I actually sleep

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polystyrenedaffodil@reddit

My kid is 3 and a half now. Still yet to sleep through the night I'm afraid. We've had one night apart since she was born, just before her 3rd birthday when I was in hospital and cos I was on a ward with the loudest snorer known to man, in a hospital bed, being checked on every hour and worried I'd had a stroke, I got very little sleep. She stayed at my neighbours and woke 9 times apparently. Next weekend she is having a sleep over at my parents. If I have to drug myself, I am going to have a full night's sleep! Rough pregnancy means it's 4 years without sleeping more than 4 hours at a time. On the up side for others though, she's the only one of all her friends that doesn't sleep through the night. Most have done it from about 18 months. Guess we are just lucky our kids can't stand not to see us for a good 8 hours!

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SuperciliousBubbles@reddit

My son started sleeping through at 13 months, but he does wake earlier than I'd choose (but then, I have delayed sleep phase and chronic fatigue, so that's more about me than him).

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armtherabbits@reddit

My oldest slept full nights from literally the day they were born. It's pretty random.

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MundaneExtreme0@reddit

Honestly, it’s down to having a strict routine. I’m a father of 5 children of all varying ages. They all know that when I say bed, it’s time to sleep. Admittedly some of them were more difficult than others to get into a good routine but they all go to bed when told and they all sleep through the night. The youngest occasionally wakes up for an early morning cuddle which is fine.

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ludacrust2556@reddit

I’m a nanny and I haven’t met a 4 year old who can’t sleep a full night. Of course you will have the odd illness or bad dream. Nearly 3y/o… I’ve seen the difficulty falling asleep alone as a bigger issue than waking during the night in 2.5 year olds, only in two children (out of idk… 8 2.5y/o children in my career) who’s parents were very lax about bedtime routines. Generally it’s developmentally appropriate for them to be sleeping through the night (and falling asleep “themselves” after bath/story with you etc. Maybe this isn’t your case, but parents generally make it easy on themselves in infancy by being lax and then have to deal with the repercussion in early childhood. I don’t blame you/anyone for it at all, just my observation.

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

Its not so much my 4 year old, for example I know for a fact that my 4 year old only wakes, because his brother wakes him up, hes a light sleeper. My 3 year old, goes to bed ok but he wont stay down, he will scream and scream for his dad at different intervals during the night, and because of sleep deprivation, he basically goes in our bed when he does this, and then my 4 year old clocks on, he comes in, and then I cant sleep because there is simply no room, so I usually go downstairs, but I struggle to sleep anyway, my partner isnt as bad with this, I have a anxiety disorder, and usually get palpitations when tired and stressed, meaning i struggle after the bed hoping during the night, this is literally every night for 2 years. Im not sure how best to proceed with it from here, what would you suggest? And thank you for your advice

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ludacrust2556@reddit

Sounds terrible. And hard to have the energy to be a patient and generous parent when you’re lacking so much sleep. So usually I’d suggest people to find the root of the problem, same with infants you go back to basics 1- is he hungry, does he wake up to toilet/due to toilet, is he thirsty. Basics 2- to him (when he comes into your room) has he had a bad dream? Did he hear a noise? Scared of the dark? Feeling sick? This is pretty normal occasionally but often they will get used to having an excuse because of course who doesn’t want to sleep in parents bed!! But the answers can help you solve. If it’s because he’s hungry or thirsty then maybe a snacky before bed and a water bottle. If he’s got bad dreams, maybe he needs a special NEW stuffed toy (for both to not cause problems lol) that protects him from dreams. And I would really look into the gro clock. I think it probably would help for both seeing as the issue isn’t falling asleep but STAYING in bed. And then… there’s 2 routes (I’m sure there’s more but this is kind of what I do with most difficult situations depending on what parents want) you can go. Depending on your parenting philosophies, or both together. If you want to go gentle- Each boy has a sticker chart and every night they stay in bed through the night they get a sticker. End of the week they get a special breakfast, ice cream, toy, whatever. I don’t really consider it bribing, it’s just a positive reinforcement system. Other option, super nanny style (you can look it up), at night when they wake up, you soothe for a minute then back to bed. “Everything’s okay, mommy/daddy is here, but we’re going to your own bed.” And place back in bed. Over and over and over. They WILL get it. I get that both methods can cause crying and meltdowns, the latter probably a bit more, but the way I see it it’s hard work in the short term for a long term payoff. People say they figure it out themselves but I’ve seen 7/8 year olds sleeping in mom and dad’s room and I’ve seen it ruin marriages, and cause children trouble later on. So I’m all for the hard work in the short term. In short, you’re giving some gentle help by covering your basis by finding out the issue, and then some tough love by enforcing boundaries. Sorry for the long post, I hope at least something I said might be helpful or inspiring. I just know how tough it is with kids and sleep, and you really deserve the sleep, and aren’t a bad parent for prioritizing it.

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FatBloke4@reddit

Try to make sure they do stuff that wears them out (but not you), such that they need sleep by the time bedtime comes around. Avoid screen/electronics use within an hour of bedtime. Have a routine, like bath, milky drink, into bed, bedtime story, sleep.

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Accurate_Prompt_8800@reddit

Every child is different. By the time they get to get to 1 I’d expect them to be sleeping the night though.

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

Same, I dont know how they are both such bad sleepers, they are so hyper all the time, I don’t understand how they do it!

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paperpangolin@reddit

Not to diagnose over a random comment, but if something like ADHD is at play then this can have a big impact on sleep. My LO is 3 soon and we are getting some nights she sleeps through, or wakes for 5 mins and goes back off with minimal fuss. We are cosleeping though - for our sanity! Looking to phase out of her bed soon in the hopes she sleeps better (and whichever one of us is with her - she's a fidget/bed hog!) but we've had some big changes lately so letting things settle down first.

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ctsarecte@reddit

It's probably genetic, I saw you mention in another comment your mum saying you didn't sleep through til you were 5. My grandma said the same about my dad and I remember lying awake for hours after bedtime as a small kid. Some kids just naturally need less sleep than average and some also get worse separation anxiety than average. Consistent routines and later bedtimes help ime but there's no magic wand

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Hyperion2023@reddit

Anything between 12 days and 12 years. Average seems to be about 1 to 1.5yrs, but often they get quite predictable towards the end of that, which makes it easier to handle

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Cool_beans4921@reddit

My son was 7 months when he started to regularly sleep through. You need a child sleep coach who can help you. If you google it you can find one local to you, or you could contact your doctors surgery.

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NoSignificantInput@reddit

Like 18? 😂 There's a point though they become self-sufficient enough to stop needing attention when they're awake. We have a rule where, if they don't want to go to sleep, that's fine. They'll sleep when they're tired, but they have to stay in their room and be quiet so they don't disturb anyone else. It worked for us, now both of them, 7 & 2, both sleep the night through for the most part, and don't bother us, because they know the deal. We also lock the downstairs at night so they can't cause chaos if they do decide to wander off. If they genuinely need something they can come get us. 🤷🏻‍♂️

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zonked282@reddit

Our eldest had a real rough time sleeping for years and years, was a phenomenal baby and would sleep soundly but between 3 and 7 really struggled to get to sleep and would be up after a few hours most nights, we tried everything to solve the problem but our best guess is she just grew out of it 😅 she's 8 and sleeps like a log, probably catching up on 4 years of sub standard sleeping

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Phelsumaman@reddit

Routine is #1 - dinner time, bath, reading and lights out need to be the same time every day. If your child expects to sleep at a certain time every day then they are more likely to do so. You should also research sleep training and make a decision on whether you are happy to try this as well (it worked for my youngest in about a week).

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Dim-Sherwood@reddit

My first slept through the night from 12 weeks. My second didn't sleep through the night until 13 months. 🤷🏻‍♂️

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bestorangeever@reddit

Should I be worrying? She’s due in April 😅😭

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mypostisbad@reddit

Mine slept though (mostly) by those ages, so I I'm not sure what to tell you. So you have bed time routines? Rewards for not waking up? Admonishment if them getting up is simply needy rather than required? By the age of 4 they should have enough understanding that you can let them know that YOU needed sleep and is you are tired, you are going to be in a bad mood, which is bad for them.

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No-Jicama-6523@reddit

I remember a health professional I came across somewhere mention a child that had been very difficult to get into a sleep routine. She said that eventually they figured they had nothing to lose and they told the child what was expected of them and that they needed to sleep, iirc this child was approaching 3.

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bsnimunf@reddit

Did it work?

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No-Jicama-6523@reddit

Yes! Sorry that was the key part of the story, they were still trying various techniques at an age when she could understand what was wanted, but when it came to the crunch she’d never actually been told and telling her worked.

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LemmysCodPiece@reddit

Once they start walking. I used to take ours on a small walk before bedtime.

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RafRafRafRaf@reddit

They’re pretty individual, but 4ish is the upper range of average for a typically developing kid. Routine is king - but finding the right one for your child and the adults too can really take some doing.

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

It really does, my eldest has some bad nights, but I really think its due to my youngest waking him up by crying, and he hears us attend to him, so he must get fomo, but we have them in seperate rooms, with 2 different white noises on to cancel eachover out. Ive just changed my work hours, to get home earlier so I can start the routine earlier after nursery, atm they get home at 6pm, and its too much for little kids

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RafRafRafRaf@reddit

Ahhh, makes sense. Nightmare! With any luck when the littlun gets sorted it’ll help with your oldest too.

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sunshineandhail@reddit

Mine started sleeping a full night between 2-3 years. But I have friend that have had hers fully sleeping through from 4 month. It really is look of the draw. If it makes you feel better, they are both teenage boys now and my 17 year old hasn’t caused me a wink of lost sleep (or stress) for years whereas hers is a typical teenage boy who’s always up to mischief and causing her sleepless nights. So it all works out in the end.

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F1fansince93@reddit

Well my boy who is 5, always wakes up between 430-5 and has done for as long as we can remember. No matter what time he goes to bed always that time he wakes up. We've done the whole give it a few weeks at a new time and routines will change, but never does.

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ConsistentCatch2104@reddit

They are all different. Our 2 both started sleeping through the night at about 6 months. When we switched from breast milk. However both regressed around 3-4. However they would just wake and come jump in our bed. Most times we wouldn’t even know until we woke up 4 in a bed in the morning.

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TheDettiEskimo@reddit

My son has slept through since about 8 months. Don't get me wrong, he wakes up at 5.30/6am which is fine a I get up then anyway. It is all down to his mum though as she kept a strict and well maintained routine from about 5 weeks for his bed that carried all the way through til he was about 2 . As a result he now sleeps like a dream! You can literally hoover in his room and he won't move as we didn't tiptoe round him when he was asleep. No scientific basis but I would say that it takes habits formed when they were young.

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neuk1989@reddit

I feel that the modern idea of young children being forced to sleep in their own room at a young age is a very unnatural modern concept. It does not reflect children's needs which have developed over millions of years of evolution. Through most of human history the family would have slept close together in a cave or basic structure. From about 2 we gave our daughter the choice of sleeping in her room or in our room where we had a mattress set up and ready for her. She always chose our room until she was 4. Some people scoff at this idea but we all slept soundly all night including her who felt safe and secure. Now she sleeps soundly all night in her room and she knows that if wants to she can come back into our room. We've got another on the way so we'll see if that solution works again with a new dynamic but I hope it does!

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stacey202@reddit

Mine was about 3 years old. He also went through a phase of only falling asleep if he was holding my finger. Resulting in the military stealth of trying to sneak out of his grasp and across the creaky floorboards without waking him up. Fun memories!

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robster9090@reddit

Other than that night feeds when really young mine have always slept 7pm until 6am . There’s lots of babies that aren’t like this but not all are as bad as people say.

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wardyms@reddit

Our children are exactly the same age. Eldest slept through after about 3 months. Sorry.

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captain__pugwash@reddit

4 1/2 year old intermittently sleeps through, but wake up will vary between 4am and if we are really lucky (I mean really lucky) 6am. 4am = groggy as hell 5am I can manage as it gets me out to the garage to exercise after setting up the kiddos breakfast, wife will come takeover after that is ready. All in all just resigned to the fact it is what it is. At the grandparents though… 13 hours isn’t out of the question!! Do we get that.. nope!

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Dry_Conclusion_2700@reddit

I’m 32 and still can’t sleep through all night

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plantking9001@reddit

It unfortunately depends on the kid. Myself I was a little older than three before I slept the whole night whereas my sibling slept fine from a couple of weeks old 🤷‍♂️

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mibbling@reddit

Yeah it absolutely depends on the kid. I’ve done the same bedtime routines and systems with both - eldest started conking out and reliably sleeping through (and sleeping in, sometimes!) aged about 3 or 4; my youngest is nearly 7 and still wakes almost every night in the early hours and will only go back to sleep if he’s with me. (Fortunately I have long since mastered the art of parenting while asleep, so this doesn’t wake me!)

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

Yeah I think I am just unlucky, my mother tells me I was 5, and I deserve it 😂

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plantking9001@reddit

Some things it sucks that it isn't a one size fits all. Insomnia do suck 😭 I recall not actually sleeping, but I no longer cried. I literally sat up looking at the wall all night until it was time to start the day. Least now I can scroll on reddit 🤣

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

Haha i feel you! I cant wait till they are at the age of under the quilt with a nintendo or something 😂😂

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Empty-Taro3855@reddit

I think it’s depends on the child, but as others have said routine is key. My eldest has slept through since she was about 10 weeks old, she’s now 2, again as others have said apart from illness she has always slept through and recently transitioned out her cot. My youngest is 2 weeks old and currently being fed around 12 and waking again about 3 and then about 7, which is a dream.. but who knows when he will sleep through as no two kids are the same.

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TheBertB@reddit

A big difference for ours was getting them full sized single beds with very nice mattresses and cozy duvets. They are 5 and 3 and 'mostly' sleep through the night now.

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West-Ad-1532@reddit

I had one of each a sleeper and a non-sleeper. Aged 4 the non-sleeper started to relax. Now they teenagers they make snacks at 11 pm and clang about. There's never any peace... I love it though...

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Entire-Mistake-8607@reddit

My son was about 6 months when he started sleeping between 6 or 7 hrs at night. By the time he was 1.5/2 he would do 12 hours. He’s now 7 and still does about 10hrs at night!

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

Can we swap, just for a little bit? 😂

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__ElonMusk@reddit

But this sleep routine doesn't last, right? 😉

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

No, from 4 months old you will not consecutively have 10 hours of sleep a night, that is actually ridiculous, between illnesses & phases etc, that baby is fresh out the womb, and in my personal opinion, anyone who says otherwise, is not being honest, surely?

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__ElonMusk@reddit

Just because that's *your* experience doesn't mean that's everyone elses. I don't know anyone with a 3 year old that doesn't sleep through the night unfortunately.

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trixxgrub@reddit

Or you don’t know anyone who talks about having a three year old who doesn’t sleep through the night.

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

It is for some kids? I’ve never heard of a baby that young sleeping full nights, of the ones that I do know. Anyway, im pessimistic and im tired, enjoy your sleep 😂

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No-Jicama-6523@reddit

My middle child was sleeping through at 8 weeks old, there was the odd blip here and there, but nothing dramatic. Apparently I was the same. First and third were nothing like that but were still routinely sleeping through the night at 2.

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

You must have done something right 😂😂 Its horrible, hard to be the best parent when your on 4 hours a night for 4 years haha and they will blame us when they are older, nah man it was you

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International-Ad5705@reddit

My kids all slept through from a few weeks old. By that I mean 5-6 hours from about 12-6 am. I can get by quite easily on that amount of sleep. I used the same routine on all of them, bathtime, last feed around 11pm , swaddling, with a dummy, etc. There was no sleep 'regression' at 4 months old, in fact I never heard of such a thing until I went on mumsnet a few years ago. But they did wake up ocassionally if they were teething or poorly.

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Miss_Doodles@reddit

My kid didn't sleep the night until she started school. Now she'll put herself to be when she's tired and loves a lie in. So it does get better but constant nights of broken sleep are a killer. Hang in there!

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L_krefetii@reddit

Hey OP - I feel for you. I’m a paediatrician & my bloody kids didn’t sleep consistently through till 4 & 6. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture outlawed under various UN conventions of human rights but yet inflicted on working parents right left & centre. I still remember vividly the constant exhaustion. There is some useful advice contained above. If itch is still an issue with the eczema then antihistamine can help in some cases if not already on it. Eczema is definitely a cause of poor sleep in young children. Routine can help, as can keeping a sleep diary to see if there are any triggers than can be avoided. I’m not a huge advocate for controlled crying but it can help in some circumstances. We tried it and found it impossible. Truth is some entirely normal kids will only develop a mature sleep cycle by about 6-7. So before this when they are in their REM-like phases of sleep they flick over easily into wakefulness which triggers the emotional response - parasomnias like night terrors are also common at this stage which can be disruptive. I think the most telling thing was your mum’s comment about you not sleeping through till 5. I’m afraid quite a lot of it is inherited. Having said that getting her or others as occasional babysitters can be life-saving just to give you both a break. There is a panoply of different ways of managing children’s sleep around the world. We are slightly unusual in sending them off to separate rooms very early. This is only a fairly recent cultural evolution only going back about 100-150 years. Sleeping in the same area as under 5’s has much more been the norm for the sweep of human history. We in the end bought the biggest bed we could afford & just tried to survive through it. It meant getting better sleep till they grew out of it. Now we can’t get the buggers out of bed in the morning.

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Figgzyvan@reddit

My son, 6 weeks. My daughter, 2 years.

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HappyNomad420@reddit

As someone becoming a parent this year reading this has really made me think about what I've done...

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CharringtonCross@reddit

Don’t worry, it definitely doesn’t have to be like this.

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Significant_Tower_84@reddit

Congratulations, don't worry, you might get lucky like I did, both my boys slept through the night very early, 1 was about 12 weeks old and the other was about 14 weeks.

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__ElonMusk@reddit

Yep OP will tell you "that doesn't last".

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bsnimunf@reddit

Ours weren't that early probably 4 or five months but they are between 2 and 7 years now and they still all sleep through the night. Only exception is if they are sick. I think it's just luck.

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bps706@reddit

Same. I've got one and he slept through from about 12 weeks. He's almost 3 now and has always been a solid sleeper.

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

Congratulations 😂

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anonoaw@reddit

My daughter finally started sleeping through at a bit over 2, but she gets up at around 530 every day. I’m a firm believer that as long as you’re not doing anything ridiculous and have a basic routine, nothing parents do makes a real difference to sleep. I tried every tip, trick and routine under the sun to get my daughter to sleep better, and nothing worked. One day she just decided to sleep. Some kids sleep. Some don’t. It will eventually get better.

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catmadwoman@reddit

Sleeping through the night after a few weeks with all 3 of mine actually meant late bath, last feed, which knocked them out but woke very early, say, anywhere between 5 and 5.30 - which is good and counts as 'through the night' to me. This routine got better as the months went by.

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pencilrain99@reddit

My son did from day 1, took my daughter 18 months

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thinkingisgreat@reddit

Depends on the child.

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Background_Fox@reddit

My daughter was 6 months, my son was around the 3 year mark but probably could have been 2.5 (I think he did a bit simply out of comfort). For mine, seemed to relate when their hunger was generally sated, my son was a hungry hungry hippo from a very young age.

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Alohamora_-@reddit

Routine is absolute key. Mine is tea, last watch of YouTube while I wash up, bath, hot chocolate/milk and then something that doesn’t involve YouTube but keeps them settled on the sofa rather than running around. But find a routine that works for you Also keeping their bedroom just for sleep made a massive difference to my middle child, I bought all the toys downstairs. Try the child’s farm pillow spray too. I don’t think the ingredients actually work because it didn’t help straight away but I do think associating that smell with sleep made a difference over time

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

Thank you!! X

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mrshakeshaft@reddit

Yep, this was ours as well but we’d do the CBeebies close down in her pj’s as our bench mark so she knew where she was, then on of us would read books to her until lights out at about 7- 7.30 I think (it was ages ago though). Sometimes one book, sometimes up to 5 depending on how much she managed to wrap me round her finger so that was almost always. She still didn’t sleep through till she was 2 though and that was hard enough. Good Luck! You’ll get there

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robrt382@reddit

I'd agree. I used to start gearing up/winding them down for bedtime at about 4, with the aim of getting them in bed for 6.30/7, and asleep for 8 at the latest. They'd usually have a light supper before bed which included milk/hot chocolate/malt drink too - sometimes this would come almost straight after tea though!!!

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trayqueent@reddit

my (only child) is almost 2 and is what feels like the worlds most terrible sleeper. wont sleep in the cot past a certain time of night, getting him out and trying to put him back in the cot results in wake ups every 15-30 minutes all night, has night terrors...in desperation we decided on cosleeping but he kicks, headbutts and screams in my ear all night...I haven't slept more than 5 hours in two years. it's completely destroyed my mental and physical health and is a big reason why we're one and done.

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__ElonMusk@reddit

My 4 month old sleeps 8pm-7am?

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marvellouspineapple@reddit

Mine too

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

Yeah, elon that wont last im sorry x But enjoy for now! And if does last, then honestly congratulations 😂

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ladyluvbag@reddit

My sons slept with us, from baby until they turned 6 & 3. The then 3 would still come into my room in the middle of the night, until he was 5. I just let him sleep with me when he came. Both of them slept well all night since baby. (I’m asian and we sleep with our babies)

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marvellouspineapple@reddit

Curious that you said you're Asian and you sleep with your babies? My husband is Asian and he (and his family) couldn't be more against co-sleeping. As am I.

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Speedbird223@reddit

Both of mine starting sleeping through the night (12hrs or so) from about 8 weeks…

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

How can that even be possible? Dont need feeding no? Didn’t have any illnesses? Did you still have odd nights they didn’t, I assume?

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marvellouspineapple@reddit

My 6 month old has slept the night since he was 14 weeks old. Purely from routine. He stopped feeding in the night at 11-12 weeks old. Too many parents take the NHS guidelines as gospel. Every baby is different, but you'll notice most replies to your post saying their child sleeps say they had a solid routine from early.

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Speedbird223@reddit

Would just give them a bigger bottle before bed and job done. My doctor said that if they needed a feeding they’d wake up…they didn’t once they started sleeping through the night. Illness doesn’t usually affect their sleep, they take medication before bed and that sorts that.

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screwfusdufusrufus@reddit

My son started at about 9 months My daughter woke 3-4 times a night till she was 3 and probably only slept through regularly when she started school. People without kids don’t know what tired is

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FiestyBaoBun@reddit

If you get a chance, take a look at the Sleep Action website for some advice and information on sleep in young children. It explains what sleep is, why it is important, tips on creating good bedtime routines, and also goes through some suggestions to follow (gradual retreat method). You need to look at their established sleep associations - what do they need to get to sleep? How do they get to sleep at the beginning of the night? Do they need to be cuddled to sleep etc. If they have a well established sleep association, it's what they need at every night waking, too. Keeping a sleep diary for a couple of weeks can help you identify any patterns and can be very insightful. Good luck, it's tough, but be consistent and give yourself enough time to see change (weeks, nor days!).

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sihasihasi@reddit

I guess we were lucky, but both of ours started sleeping through, at least occasionally, from about 12 weeks.

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decentlyfair@reddit

11 weeks. Well, that was my first child. The other was textbook waking every 4 fours to be fed and then slept through the night. Of course there was the occasional night where one of them would wake up for reasons. One went through a phase of night terrors. Please know that I realise I was very, very, very lucky. Also my children didn’t wake up at silly o’clock. But I did have one that was a nightmare to get to bed at night so there was that.

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EntertainerNo8806@reddit

My son, straight away. My daughter, almost 4 gruelling years.

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Refrigernator@reddit

My daughter is 4, she sleeps through most nights (baring the occasional bed wetting!) but what we discovered is that she is distracted incredibly easily by anything that she can see. Turns out she needs total darkness so that she can’t see anything to play with, and white noise or a story playing in the background. Also a very solid routine of teeth brushing, picking pyjamas and a bedtime story :”starting (almost) the exact same time every night before bed.

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robrt382@reddit

Mine were both around 2, they decided to get in their own beds about that age, and they've slept straight through ever since. They're free to come and get in my bed, but they haven't for a couple of years now. I have always had to wake them up in the morning. BUT I'm not sure it's useful to compare because all kids are different e.g. we do still have problems with bed wetting, which they both should have grown out of.

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BeardedBaldMan@reddit

For both of ours it was around 12-14 months but that's not due to us, it's just how our children are. In the same way that 6 is when the youngest wakes up and nothing is changing that

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

Thats very lucky, Yeah, I know people whos kids are 8/9 and still wake up at 5am 😭 I feel like where we are up quite abit, 4am - 6am is usually my deepest sleep

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No-Jicama-6523@reddit

I put a digital clock in my kids’ room and taught them that they needed to be quiet until 7am.

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ClockAccomplished381@reddit

Can't remember exactly and it depends if you mean consistently. I'd say around age 4-5 for them to actually stay in bed asleep most of the time and not come wandering into our bedroom or crying out. My 5 year old often gets up between 5 and 6 am which is a bit annoying, then on the super rare occasions he's asleep beyond 6:30 we lie there getting worried and go to check on him haha

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donac@reddit

So I, too, had a son who was just a poor sleeper, and at three and four years old would get up in the middle of the night to wake me up to ask me if it was time to get up. It was NOT time to get up. It was, however, completely exhausting. Turns out the streetlights shining through the curtains were keeping him up. Got blackout shades, and it did the trick.

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Guilty_Hour4451@reddit

I feel your pain, my 3 year sleeps the clock round, my 1 year old never sleeps. I'm lucky to get 4 hrs a night on average.

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

Its hell, my youngest had the worst eczema, and colic I cant even remember hes first year, and now hes got some insane separation anxiety, but with his dad not me, he screams for him all night, I will try and go in and give dad a break, and my kid kicks me and tells me to go away, I got a 4th degree tear and he keeps me up all night and tells me to go away 😂

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Guilty_Hour4451@reddit

My 1 year old just mental. Between sickness and teething i couldn't tell you last full nights sleep I've had.

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

Thats it, I feel like there first proper illness completely throws them off, and it goes downhill for a while in my experience, they probably feel more co dependent sleep wise due to being sick, then its like starting all over again to get them to back to routine

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Guilty_Hour4451@reddit

We've had flu in house since before Xmas, im only 1 not sick so I feel in doing everything on top of working. Doing my head clean in I'm up in 5hrs and no sign of getting to sleep any time soon

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

That is so lucky 😭 My youngest has bad eczema, have only just taken the scratch sleeves away, its like he is just used to it and he always wants to be with his dad, it’s absolutely exhausting, and even if we bed share sometimes, hes itching ALL night, I have a literal tub of 50 something creams, nothing works for that night time itch apart from steroids, which you cant really use daily. Im hoping, by a years time, it might be better, pray for me 😭

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UnknownTerrorUK@reddit

Well.. from 6 months old to about 4 years she slept all night. Now she's 5 and while we set boundaries she'd rather be downstairs with us than be in bed. So, comprimise right? If she wants to come back downstairs and stay up later then it's to do something creative, like colouring, arts and crafts, reading etc. We'll send her to bed at a certain time each night and she'll play with her toys in her room, it gives us a break and a chance to have a nap/rest. As soon as she asks to come back downstairs and join us I'll ask 1) Have you brushed your teeth? and 2) Is your bedroom tidy?. If the answer is yss to both (and it's rarely no because she knows the expectations) then she can stay up late..

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k-rizzle01@reddit

I am I mean mom I guess, if my kids routinely woke me up for no reason at that age I would not deal well with it. My kids knew unless there was a problem they did not wake me up for no reason. I had to work, I taught my kids screaming and crying for no reason was not allowed either. I spoke to my kids very realistically I would ask them if they liked people yelling in the house in the middle of the night? Don’t you think that’s scary and annoying? Yes, so do I so quit doing it, I think there is an emergency and I get panicked. Teach them if they wake up what to do, count sheep back to sleep, get a book and look at it, let them have a small flashlight that they can turn on in the night. Get them a clock to know what time they can wake up. Teach them they are being jerks for waking up the house for no reason.

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Ok-Albatross-1508@reddit

The Bluey episode Sleepytime is for you OP, featuring extremely disrupted sleep for the parents. And of course also astounding heartfelt emotional whirlwinds, it’s Bluey so get ready to sob.

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smirkz_26@reddit

😂I’m reading this just as my 3-year-old has finally nodded off, after being put to bed at 8 pm! On the other hand, my 9-year-old has been sleeping through the night since she was just 5 months old!

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

Ah man, I think I thought I was being smart having them 13 months apart, but if im honest it’s probably a massive regret of mine, its been extremely hard, they still dont like eachover either 😂😂

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Hatertraito@reddit

Around 4 and half

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TangerineFew6830@reddit (OP)

Im holding out hope! The issue with having 2 so close in age, they bounce off eachover, always hyper, always waking eachover up, always fomo

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