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Is "pick me girl" just "cool girl" with a new name?

Posted by aqaba_is_over_there@reddit | Xennials | View on Reddit | 22 comments

I keep hearing references to "pick me girl", on Reddit and she sounds an aufull lot like "cool girl". Or is there some subtle difference I'm missing?

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22 Comments

JungleRose4@reddit

I think we know it better as the “I’m not like the other girls” girl.
View on Reddit #44464075

aqaba_is_over_there@reddit (OP)

True, it wasn't "cool girl" until Gillian Flynn gave it the name.
View on Reddit #44464212

muhredditone@reddit

Let's be honest about it. The vast majority of the time I've heard a woman calling another woman a 'pick-me girl', it's been because they didn't agree on who to blame. I can't think of a time I saw/heard someone make that accusation for any reason other than a woman told another woman she was wrong. "Oh, she's a pick-me girl."
View on Reddit #44599326

W8andC77@reddit

The way I’ve seen it used is to describe the type of woman who seeks male validation and attention, usually by putting other women down.
View on Reddit #44458969

muhredditone@reddit

The way I've seen it used is to shame women who have opinions that stray outside the approved *women's views*. If you can't guess what her opinion is, simply by observing her gender, then somebody's gonna call her a pick me girl.
View on Reddit #44598494

chickinthenocehouse@reddit

A pick me girl slams other women to get favorable results from men that she is trying to attract. It isnt a good look.
View on Reddit #44535898

ClearlyDemented@reddit

More like “not like other girls” girl
View on Reddit #44532606

HerRoyalRedness@reddit

https://preview.redd.it/ptfoqamigbae1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=74426565a2c2b26eee643ff47c43cade6540cf10 This is the origin of a pick me girl. She is not the same as a cool girl (Rosmund Pike in Gone Girl or pretty much any Rosmund Pike character)
View on Reddit #44476022

NoneOfThisMatters_XO@reddit

A pick me girl is someone who constantly tries to get the attention of men. Not sure if it means the same as cool girl…?
View on Reddit #44458669

Ineedavodka2019@reddit

More like attention seeker or center of attention. At least the way my kids use it.
View on Reddit #44459947

Reasonable-Wave8093@reddit

Thats interesting. Do kids see them both negatively? I thought a “cool girl” was someone naturally at ease w everyone, not seeking, but being an ambassador/inclusive. but i can see the other definition too.
View on Reddit #44460527

aqaba_is_over_there@reddit (OP)

>Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl. >Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”) https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/13306276-gone-girl
View on Reddit #44466125

tacoitup@reddit

You’re describing a manic pixie dream girl.
View on Reddit #44467504

dryheat85000@reddit

One of my favorite bits from that book!
View on Reddit #44467202

Reasonable-Wave8093@reddit

dam!
View on Reddit #44466474

Ineedavodka2019@reddit

My teen said no one’s says cool girl anymore. A pick me is the opposite of cool.
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Reasonable-Wave8093@reddit

What do they call a cool girl?
View on Reddit #44462792

NoneOfThisMatters_XO@reddit

But seeking attention *from men* is the key
View on Reddit #44460113

HeyKayRenee@reddit

It doesn’t. A Pick Me centers men as her whole personality, often disparaging other women to position herself as superior. “Cool Girl” is more subtle. She takes on the interests of whatever guy she’s dating (or trying to date), and ignores her own emotional needs to accommodate his. She can be fine with other girls. She’s not the type to speak up either way.
View on Reddit #44459291

ilazul@reddit

it's similar to 'simp' but for the other gender.
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epidemicsaints@reddit

Being a pick me is specifically about putting other people like you down to make yourself look better. You're one of the good ones, and you think acting like that will make them notice and pick you. A dick rider, lol.
View on Reddit #44459063

External-Animator666@reddit

Pick me is just a toxic thing that women call each other, it's like a man calling another man a beta. Only a certain type of person would use these terms and it's not a good type.
View on Reddit #44458524