What are some of the UKs unspoken social understandings between each other?
Posted by PaddedValls@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 337 comments
For example,
Never turn up to someone's house party without your own drink. Even if you are told not to bring anything, take a very small amount of something.
cgknight1@reddit
That when people ask if you are alright they absolute do not want the answer.
Then you get some class difference:
Working class Facebook - "can't trust anyone, lots of snakes. Going to look after self"
Middle class Facebook - endless holiday and social photos, nothing that you can use to determine emotion or what is going on in their life.
SeoulGalmegi@reddit
I guess I must be middle class, because I just don't get the venting about snakes and looking after yourself etc., but I see it a lot.
Are people really so bad to them? Are they just exaggerating minor disagreements? Why do they put it all up cryptically on Facebook like that? To get people asking if they're ok?
I can't imagine ever doing that myself.
Apprehensive-Stop748@reddit
An exception can be people required to use social media for work. Another potential reason is the reaction to being harassed online. It does happen and sometimes it can be based on a lack of computer skills. One of my online acquaintances actually had to write a safety policy.
SeoulGalmegi@reddit
I'm sorry, I don't think I really understand the point you're making here.
ktitten@reddit
Yeah, people do.
Some people simply use social media as an extension of their in person socialising. So if they would gossip with a friend about snakes, then it makes sense to also post it on Facebook of course.
The people that do this tends to have problems. Working class people of course more likely to be in poverty, abusive situations, drug addictions, have illness and disabilities etc. Arguing with a friend isn't really their main problem in life, it's a distraction.
Choice-Standard-6350@reddit
They are more likely to be in poverty. But domestic abuse and alcoholism happens in every class
PraterViolet@reddit
But it helps if you can retire to the billiard room.
Choice-Standard-6350@reddit
It just means you are less likely to come to the attention of the authorities. Drinking three bottles of wine a day and neglecting your children if you are rich, the cleaner will tidy up after you and the nanny will take care of the children. Doing the same when you are poor will have the police and social services knocking on your door
DameKumquat@reddit
I went to boarding school. The number of kids from parents who were absent/on drugs/sexually abusing their stepchildren was more than I could count in two hands. Often grandparents or aunts paying for the schooling to get the kids away, and then just need to encourage the kids to stay with them or friends each holiday.
As long as the fees were paid and Jemima turned up each term, no-one cared.
-Hi-Reddit@reddit
People with money and security that brings tend to live life with less stress than those on the poverty line. I've gone from homeless to middle class in the last 10 years, coming from a working class background initiatially. Life is a lot less stressful when you're not in debt and worried about the cost of everything.
ktitten@reddit
Oh yeah not saying it doesn't happen in every class
However, there's a ton of research and evidence out there to say that people in poverty are more susceptible to domestic violence and alcoholism. https://committees.parliament.uk/writtenevidence/126340/pdf/
Here's a snippet from that document
'There is a strong association between poverty and domestic violence. While domestic violence affects all types of people, its prevalence is higher among those living in more deprived neighbourhoods (McManus et al. 2017), lower income households, and among those experiencing severe debt (McManus et al., 2021)'
Choice-Standard-6350@reddit
Every dv worker I have ever spoken to thinks dv is very underrecorded amongst people with more money. They do get phone calls anonymously asking for advice. But these women often do not need refuges. They have money and family who help them get away.
PurpleOctopus6789@reddit
it may be underrecorder but it's certainly not as prevalent as amongst working class. Education is key to lowering domestic violence and people with money tend to be more educated. Interestingly, the rates of domestic violence can go up in the super wealthy because of traditionalists values and power imbalance. It's your typical bell curve.
ktitten@reddit
Yeah not refuting that. Because of this we can't be certain but the consensus is still that women in poverty experience domestic violence more.
SaltyName8341@reddit
Classist much
ktitten@reddit
Please explain? I was highlighting the inequalities within our society. I absolutely do not think it's the fault of people that have these issues or post on Facebook, and I could only hope my comment didn't read that way.
I do take this very seriously as spend a lot of my time trying to fight classism, so if I am accused of being classist I'd love an explanation.
SaltyName8341@reddit
By generalisation of a class as a whole, for example disabilities being more predominant in working class is utter tripe, the reason you hear more about disability in working class is the inequality of money distribution as a whole rather than the class of the citizens. Disability is a genetic lottery and can affect anyone regardless of social standing.
ktitten@reddit
Ah.
Working class people are way more likely to get disabled through work. Think manual labor jobs, plenty of areas of the country where the effects are apparent and visible, even coal mining communities now have much higher rates of disability. Plus, working class people are way more likely to go into the military and suffer disabling injuries due to this. Then add in the disabling effect of mental illnesses and how working class people are more susceptible.
Disability can be a genetic condition, but not always. Saying disabilities are more predominant in working class communities is not a generalisation, as I'm not saying all. Plenty of studies to back it up, this is a recent one by the ifs which goes into inequalities of disability if you want to know more https://ifs.org.uk/inequality/inequalities-in-disability/
PurpleOctopus6789@reddit
also, ignoring the fact that disabilities are more prevalent in working class population is doing them disservice. You can't help if you ignore the problem because of 'generalisation.' If you identify the problem and population it's likely to happen to, you can then get services avaiable in that location, better work support, etc.
People who are against 'generalising' are often virtue signalling not even realising that by refusing to acknowledge problems that are prevalent in certain groups, they are harming those groups more.
PurpleOctopus6789@reddit
often, the people posting it are the problem and they can't see it. They always have issues with other people but are too self-centred to notice that they're the common denominator, that they're causing all arguments. They also lack the ability to solve conflicts in a mature way and cannot let minor things slide. These are people you want to stay away from because they cause nothing but drama wherever they go.
teine_palagi@reddit
But at the same time they’re the ones constantly complaining about other people being all drama
TheSecretIsMarmite@reddit
I used to know someone who would constantly vaguebook and say when questioned "can't say on here". She would also celebrate culling people from her friends list and say stuff like "if you can see this, congratulations, you made it".
She also complained about drama but loved being the centre of it.
Absolutely exhausting.
teine_palagi@reddit
Vaguebook! Never heard that but I love it
corobo@reddit
This plus whenever they post obscure drama people react to it. Next time they want attention they know to post obscure drama.
Dopamine is a hell of a drug
Dense-Result509@reddit
Yeah, what's the social class for people who just genuinely don't have a life filled with snakes?
elchet@reddit
People who have emotional intelligence and can defuse, avoid, or ignore situations that other people would argue, gossip, vent, and generally have a melt down over.
RegularWhiteShark@reddit
I don’t do it myself but it can be a way of venting. We’re mostly powerless and not control of a lot of things in our life so venting like this can be helpful.
Then you get people who just want attention or to stir up trouble.
ColossusOfChoads@reddit
I've heard that particular practice referred to as 'vaguebooking.' I suppose the motives are varied.
Ok_Analyst_5640@reddit
To you - I'm so skint, don't know how I'm going to survive! Had to take my washing down to the river and bash it on some rocks!
To Facebook - oooh yeah, just been on my third spa in Cornwall this year, London next weekend babes. Only been abroad four times this year aha
Apprehensive-Stop748@reddit
Yes. It is also a very cringe choice of posting especially if it’s an endless pattern
ScatterCushion0@reddit
Middle class FB - absolutely nothing that can be used as ammo against them.
I don't want to fall into the stereotypes, but it is indicative of wider intelligence/understanding of the world that comes with the difference between working class FB and middle class FB, IF you use the extreme ends of those classes.
cgknight1@reddit
Yeah it's funny because I'm middle class but I'm family are working class so I see it in person as well. Nothing expressed that has any meaning or has not been carefully considered.
cheese_fancier@reddit
Same here. It hadn't struck me before, but there is a massive difference between the rainbows and holidays of my social media and the splashy, messy posts of my cousins. Neither version is 100% accurate of course.
PurpleOctopus6789@reddit
also the drama. A lot of working class drama happens on facebook as well as in real life and things can get really messy. Lots of shady posts and arguments. Also, families defending criminals under news post is often a cherry on top. So much drama.
Turbulent-Tip-8372@reddit
I’ve noticed this on the bus in Edinburgh. Up the back there’s always young-ish folk with broad accents having HUGE dramas over absolutely fuck all, like they’re desperate to play at Hollyoakes or something.
teine_palagi@reddit
A girl I grew up with is like this. Just posted yesterday about how she had a miserable Christmas because she has no money to treat herself and her baby daddy is a deadbeat loser
magicalthinker@reddit
That's me. I didn't realise it was a class difference. I just thought I was reserved and don't want to give arseholes ammunition against me.
Apoc525@reddit
What class are you when you refuse to use any social media?
Kian-Tremayne@reddit
The “worked in cybersecurity” class.
scalectrix@reddit
My friend who is a Professor of Cybersecurity (yes really) is on nothing except email, and a privately hosted blog.
allywillow@reddit
I’ve a friend like this, will only communicate via signal
fozzy_bear42@reddit
Is it possible to respec into this class? I’m finding my time as a wizard fairly boring these days.
Zyeine@reddit
Why not multi class and be a Cyber-Wizard?
Shoddy-Computer2377@reddit
Some of the spooky types don't use surnames and cannot be photographed, not even for private family purposes.
Dangerous_Zebra_4741@reddit
Signing in
(using MFA of course)
Ok_Analyst_5640@reddit
Annoying class. I'm usually very good and thorough if I want to research someone, like I'll find out where they live, what they do, what they're like.
Why? Nosey. Another part is I sold animals before and needed to know they were going to good places and the stories were legit. Would look it up on street view at the very least but had to find out these people's lives without prying.
I mean before I start working somewhere I'm reading through companies house on the company and finding out all about them.
I've only ever had it once when I couldn't find much about someone through a casual bit of sleuthing. I've found estranged, adopted family members through not really trying but that one guy was incognito.
ScatterCushion0@reddit
If you're looking for superiority, you're on Reddit....
If you're asking for a friend - it's the "enlightened class"
saccerzd@reddit
"liberal intelligentsia". A more enlightened form of middle class.
EpochRaine@reddit
The sensible class...
robtheblob12345@reddit
I don’t even think it’s a class thing; it’s a common sense thing. Most people I know with a brain don’t post anything emotive online, even those I’d consider working class
pgasmaddict@reddit
Nothing can be used as ammo....if you're posting holiday pics then it's open season on your gaff!
Ill-Breadfruit5356@reddit
U OK hun?
I’ll DM U
I hate that. Either you want to talk about it on social media or you don’t. But don’t go to a lot of effort drawing attention to the fact that you’re going through whatever and you don’t want to talk about it publicly.
GraphicDesignMonkey@reddit
Ugh, vaguebooking.
fishercrow@reddit
in real life, you make a tradeoff - you receive comfort and attention in exchange for expressing vulnerability and pain, which for a variety of reasons people are not always keen to do. social media offers a barrier, where you can solicit comfort and support without having to be vulnerable, and can publicly request a private interaction.
Round_Caregiver2380@reddit
They do it for attention because their mates know who the enemy is.
ImpressNice299@reddit
They don't? I always try to give something more than a stock response.
AdEquivalent2784@reddit
hardly anyone posts anything on mine. Though couple friends share memes and we comment on each others. Thankful for those people haha.
ColossusOfChoads@reddit
Do they post Heath Ledger Joker memes to go with it? Or is that just a US thing?
ChanCuriosity@reddit
SNEKS 🐍🐍🐍
MinervaWeeper@reddit
PM me bbz, 2 mny sneks
ChanCuriosity@reddit
Sneks Evri we’re bbz I’m FUMMIN n reagan 😤😤😤
colei_canis@reddit
🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡🦡, 🍄🍄
labbeduddel@reddit
How do you do? How do you do?
Turbantastic@reddit
The Facebook thing is so accurate. Years ago when I used Facebook, I loved to go on the estate page and read all the beef lol. "2 muny sneks rund ere Hun 🐍🐍🐍" "rip in piece u R wiv da angles NW Hun 👼👼👼" "duz ne1 no wot da numba iz 4 999 Chyna-schkye is il xXxXx"
Round_Caregiver2380@reddit
I wonder what I am. I post nothing on social media at all except I think shared a dog training video on my stories once.
If you looked at my profile, you wouldn't see a single thing.
Fruitpicker15@reddit
Does ne1 no the phone number for A&E fanx
MJLDat@reddit
Jus me n the kidz now bebs.
Willy_the_jetsetter@reddit
That Facebook thing is extremely accurate.
Interesting-Area-903@reddit
Always queue!
Ophelia_Pain@reddit
If you have a trolley of food at the checkout in the supermarket, and the person or persons behind have just one, two or three items, let them go ahead of you rather than waiting for your shopping to be put through first. They don't need to wait for all your stuff to go through when they have just a few things and can be checked out quickly and you are obviously going to take ages...
Helpful_Librarian_87@reddit
Everyone is offered tea when they step a foot in your house. You must insist, the kettle has just been boiled.
GraphicDesignMonkey@reddit
When you offer, they will refuse. Then you counter with, "I was just making myself one anyway", and then they will say yes. You never say 'yes' to the offer on the first ask.
Massive_Following815@reddit
Nah I just say "ooh yes please" at the first asking. Don't wanna miss out.
mattblack77@reddit
I’ve wired the kettle switch to the doorbell just to speed things up
ImpressNice299@reddit
Even paramedics who are doing CPR in the living room, police officers who have come to arrest you, etc.
JanonymousAnonymous@reddit
Calling someone “mate” is usually a form of social salve and you’ve really attempted to break the ice.
lesloid@reddit
Don’t sit right next to someone on public transportation if there are options available that leave a space
simonsail@reddit
That's the same wherever you go, not a UK thing.
Vikkio92@reddit
This sub loves misrepresenting basic human behaviour as special British etiquette.
Didn’t you know only in the UK is it frowned upon to checks notes murder people? We truly are quirky and unique like that.
JanonymousAnonymous@reddit
Worshiping the holy sacrament of the NHS for example? I blame the cringe fest of the 2012 London olympics opening ceremony
mootallica@reddit
Brits in general love doing this, I don't really understand what our obsession with our own quirkiness is rooted in
Extension_Common_518@reddit
Brit living in Japan here. Can confirm that an ongoing focus on national uniqueness is not limited to the UK.
Turbulent-Tip-8372@reddit
Australia pulls its head out of its own arse long enough to enter the chat
thesaharadesert@reddit
Keeps me busy of an evening. You’ve gotta have a hobby.
Speshal__@reddit
Should we look under the patio?
BobDobbsHobNobs@reddit
Only if you want to stay there too
Speshal__@reddit
You'd be more nervous than Fred West's appearance on Ground Force?
Ricky_Martins_Vagina@reddit
Love that 😂 anyway while we're in the neighbourhood, give this a listen - Kunt & The Gang's 12 Days of Christmas
Ok_Analyst_5640@reddit
A weird thing where you're patriotic but don't want to be patriotic so do the whole hugh-grant bubbling Brit idiot skit for the applause of the rest of the world??
corobo@reddit
It gives boring people a personality instead of having to be individually interesting. Pip pip cheerios and all that, off to get me a fish and chip dinner
dan-kir@reddit
Ironic because people of all nationalities do it actually
Spank86@reddit
We do shout Whay! When someone drops a plate, and that doesn't seem to be quite so universal.
I only bring it up because when you do it abroad it does come across like you murdered the poor chap.
turgottherealbro@reddit
We yell Taxi! in Aus
Vikkio92@reddit
Well, yes, what I said doesn't mean actual peculiarities of British culture straight up don't exist at all.
Fizzbuzz420@reddit
You'd swear we are the only place on the planet that queues
Gryeg@reddit
We are the only place on this planet with civilised queues \s
Infinite_Crow_3706@reddit
Japan coughs politely
PlasteeqDNA@reddit
South Africa too.. No chaos in our queues at all.
WonFriendsWithSalad@reddit
I actually met someone who came from a culture where this wasn't the norm! I wish I could remember where he was from, somewhere in sub-Saharan Africa (although it could also have been specific to a very small area).
He said it was a genuine issue when he first arrived in the UK. If he walked into a McDonalds and one person was sitting there then he thought it would be rude not to go and sit with them, same on busses. Poor guy, took a bit of adjusting.
iTAMEi@reddit
You could get battered for doing that here
Mild_Karate_Chop@reddit
.
Don't hog the empty seat with your bag when there are no places to sit should be a corollary to this ,but it apparently isn't.
BerkshireKnight@reddit
Likewise with urinals
justbiteme2k@reddit
I generally don't sit on the urinals
RevolutionaryLow309@reddit
I once went to a toilet where someone definitely had sat on it, it was full of shit.
thesaharadesert@reddit
How do you know they didn’t defecate into their hand first then relocate the turf to the urinal afterwards?
RevolutionaryLow309@reddit
Good point, I've assumed and could be wrong.
Cold_Philosophy@reddit
It could also have been copremesis.
RevolutionaryLow309@reddit
Wow, I've learned something and I wish I hadn't.
thesaharadesert@reddit
I’m happy for you that you can learn from this
Speshal__@reddit
Personal experience?
j1mb0b@reddit
Goodness me, you don't shit in your own hand.
What do you think the under-butler is there for?
Speshal__@reddit
Mine gives me a round of applause when I do.
Kumquat-May@reddit
How else do you poo in it?
Ok_Analyst_5640@reddit
I remember in primary school when it got the first urinals and some kid obviously didn't realise what they were for because there was a great big log in them one day. 😆
Lonk-the-Sane@reddit
You're missing out!
cadwalader000@reddit
This does not seem to apply to parking. I can sit in the car in a parking lot that allows for 60 cars, 5 spaces are taken and without fail, the next car will park riiiight next to me.
guzidi@reddit
Rule 2: When busy you may of course take the spare seat next to me, but upon emptying give me back my space ffs
Jolly_Map680@reddit
I thought this was the case with treadmills/exercise equipment too. But alas, today I was at the gym on an outside treadmill in a row of 12 (all others were unused) One guy arrived at the gym and came to the treadmill directly next to me. I still can’t comprehend it
sabboseb@reddit
Not adhered to enough on the tube.
Some people are just uncouth
Definitely_Human01@reddit
Don't talk to them unless it's to show exasperation about the delay that was just announced.
After that point, one of you will continue talking while the other shows visible disinterest in continuing the conversation.
I hope I'm not the only one who's seen (and experienced) this happen.
ero_mode@reddit
That's not the case in public libraries. I routinely have people sit on my table when there are other tables available.
First_Television_600@reddit
If I feel like this is just common human decency, not UK specific
thatintelligentbloke@reddit
FeekyDoo@reddit
I don't recognise that as a thing, think you might live in a shit area if that's so.
Mumique@reddit
It's not a me-personally thing but it's definitely a very popular British view. 'We don't want the ones who won't assimilate, except old Dorota, she doesn't speak any English but she's a lovely girl likes a cuppa' etc.
Hillbert@reddit
A nicer way to think of it is that the UK is less racist then it thinks it is.
rkr87@reddit
What? I interpret this is that the UK is more racist than* it thinks it is.
People with this mindset would definitely justify a racist statement with "I'm not racist because insert single immigrant this person likes".
intergalacticspy@reddit
No, it's more a case of "we like Bash and Kareem, but not those immigrants in the newspapers"
Mild_Karate_Chop@reddit
Very confused. What are you complaining about and why ? And what exactly is a racist scale ...this idea of most racist to least racist. Least racist as compared to who/ what ..
Valuable_Rip8783@reddit
Someone hasn't seen the Simpsons episode
-Hi-Reddit@reddit
Poor interpretation I would say.
If it were about race as you say, and not immigrantion policy, assimilation, the economy, and cultural values (big one tbh) as I think, then I don't think they would accept anyone of another race, assimilated and enjoying cuppas with the locals or not.
Vivid_Way_1125@reddit
Older generations seem to have become more racist.
TheeMourningStar@reddit
The UK is differently racist to how it thinks it is.
A lot of people are opposed to the vague concept of immigration, you know, the horrifying pantomime version of it that they keep reading about in the papers, but don't quite think through the fact that their Polish mate who they've worked with for 20 years who likes a pint after work on Friday and loves his kids, is totally different to that caricature, so that the stories they are being told *are lies*.
The Dangerous Immigration is always in the next town over.
MelindaTheBlue@reddit
Pretty much this
I'm quite dark-skinned and get mistaken for all kinds of thing (in reality I've just got a very mixed ancestry) and I'm the one always looked at when people can't find their phone, when in reality they left it on the bar or something like it
It's also why I get weird comments about stealing from the elderly since I use an insulin pump, since apparently I'm a health tourist and am here for that, or some such malarky
Flat_News_2000@reddit
It's actually more racist than it thinks it is.
Mumique@reddit
It's more that blanket statements aren't really appropriate and fall apart in reality...
And_Justice@reddit
It's a thread for blanket opinions
Slow_Apricot8670@reddit
I think we are told we are racist but really we are not (certainly not as racist as media and politicians want us to be as it doesn’t create a climate that matches their needs).
I work with and socialise with a decent number of non-white people that I know from Europe, US, South America and Australia. Many comment routine on how in their opinion, racism in Britain is essentially absent compared to other countries. That’s not to say Britain doesn’t retain some racism, nor should we be glib about that, but relatively, it appears to at least take less overt forms.
Serious_Escape_5438@reddit
It's not just a UK thing, I've heard similar in many countries.
Mumique@reddit
Oh yes, xenophobia is not just for the UK. Everyone fears and despises everyone!
Ok_Analyst_5640@reddit
So immigrants should just assimilate but dororta has been there that long that she's old so no point caring anymore?
Do you never question if they're right? Maybe Dorota should have learned English all along?
Mumique@reddit
You're asking if I think? Bit knee-jerk rude but I'll bite. I question many things; this amongst them. And I conclude that, no, they're not right.
You start off with a community that hangs around its own due to language and cultural familiarity. Over time and generations it all relaxes and becomes more integrated. It's happened so often historically that it happens over and over. There's a new ethnic group in the City; they're reviled and bitched about, and in a few generations absorbed.
The people who bitch and moan about this sort of thing seem to think that our culture isn't strong or robust enough to handle incoming cultures. Kinda fragile instead of believing in the strength of said culture.
I personally don't give a damn that Dorota never learned a very hard language. As long as she can get by why does it matter?
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10556514/#:~:text=Yet%2C%20most%20academic%20research%20argues,Kingdom%20in%20terms%20of%20their
https://blogs.lse.ac.uk/politicsandpolicy/understanding-the-impact-and-limits-of-social-mixing/
NotAnotherAllNighter@reddit
Britain has a massive xenophobia / racism problem, that’s a fact.
ChemistryWeary7826@reddit
I've moved around a lot, cities, towns, back end of fields and nothingness for miles, various income levels and this is absolutely true of the Brits. All of them.
They love their Eastern European cleaning lady, the kebab shop man, the lovely oriental lady who runs the local yoga group. But (obviously with an I'm not racist but') foreigners can get in the bin, not enough space for them, not assimilating well enough etc etc.
It is absolutely a thing that crosses all the class levels.
mootallica@reddit
The thing with all of those connections is that it keeps them in a position where they feel the immigrants are still beneath them. Cognitively, they seem to have no problem with immigrants if they can be seen to be objectively in service to us, particularly if it's in roles we wouldn't like to do ourselves. The idea that there may be immigrants out there who are further ahead than you, or even worse, immigrants quite happy to just live here and not be of any particular service to us...that doesn't seem to sit well in the collective psyche. And an idea is all you need to start convincing people that the immigrants are actively robbing them.
Ok_Analyst_5640@reddit
I think you're trying to look too deeply into this mate. Those are immigrants that they know personally and have no problem with. They don't have a problem with them because they're perfectly fine people.
What does this mean? They have a problem with the bulk of immigration and any associated crime and problems that goes with it because you'll get an amount of unsavoury people amongst it. Do they hate some colleague they work with because they happen to be brown or speak a different language? No, this is bollocks.
People don't just live around different ethnicities and then oppose further immigration for no reason whatsoever, it's a learned experience.
dt-17@reddit
All those people contribute to society.
What we’re seeing now in the UK is thousands of freeloaders who get put up in hotels and offer absolutely nothing to society other than to drain our resources.
Vivid_Way_1125@reddit
It's definitely a thing
Tuna_Surprise@reddit
As an immigrant, it rings true. The amount of people who have moaned about immigration to my face and then I when I remind them I’m an immigrant the response is some variation of “You’re one of the good ones…”
some_learner@reddit
I've got audio of someone who I didn't know doing this to me a few weeks ago, so tempted to upload it but the press might latch on and it'd all blow up.
Reasonable-Horse1552@reddit
My German friend had to put up with everyone telling her they were voting leave because of the immigrants, when she pointed out that she was one of the people they were voting against they all exclaimed "but not you! We love you, you're one of the good ones!" Which didn't make any difference when she had to move back to Germany with her British born children.
thefooby@reddit
You might not recognise it but you only need to take one look at the headlines or the turnout for reform to know it’s true.
dt-17@reddit
Reform only exist due to the mass immigration we’ve had over the last 10/20 years.
fookreddit22@reddit
I know the Internet isn't representative of society as a whole but my experience irl is anti immigration sentiment has not only grown more popular but also more vocal.
It's so bad I genuinely don't understand how people can dismiss it. My last interaction was on the 23rd at a pub when a middle aged woman (middle class) said we need to start shooting the boats.
EpochRaine@reddit
Did you explain that once she has rounded up her peers into the said boat, to give you a call and you'll pop round with the farmer and his blunderbuss...
ImpressNice299@reddit
> We hate immigrants or “others” except those we know personally who we consider to be sound as a pound. Thus, we love the Eastern European barista at cafe Nero like she’s a family member but we are fundamentally opposed to any of her country folk joining her. We never realise how crazily illogical this is.
It's only illogical if you propose that the only reason to oppose mass immigration is a hatred of foreigners.
SarcasticDevil@reddit
Do most European countries happily watch animal cruelty?? Sorry where are you getting that from? I've never noticed a difference in how we treat animals
thatintelligentbloke@reddit
Interestingly I was googling how Ireland celebrated Boxing Day. They called it Wrens Day. Why? Because until recently, kids would capture and kill a wren and take it from door to door to collect money.
In Spain they throw donkeys from towers.
ColossusOfChoads@reddit
Yeah well, in America we have Weasel Stomping Day.
AcceptableProgress37@reddit
How old are you? It hasn't been done seriously since the 1950s.
SarcasticDevil@reddit
Yeah and those things are either banned or very controversial in their countries. We had fox hunting, which some in this country would still bring back if they could
jchristsproctologist@reddit
as a non brit living here, can you elaborate on the kids point and how it was different in the victorian era?
thatintelligentbloke@reddit
Yes! The phrase back then was that children should be seen, and not heard. In other words, children should be sent to be obedient and quiet, but they must not make a noise, because that would mean they were not being obedient.
Nowadays, parents don't give a flying fuck at the moon what their child does so long as the kid doesn't suddenly shut up, which indicates something bad has happened. They're happy to let kids play outside, for example, so long as they can hear them doing stuff.
afcote1@reddit
What’s this about children? I really think people should control them. I glare/tut. Doesn’t everyone?
AlmondEgg@reddit
The immigration thing is rife in the western world. It’s easy to dehumanise “immigrants” as lesser than. It’s why Brit’s call white immigrants expats instead
Reasonable-Horse1552@reddit
I hate that type of hypocrisy so much
FelixWiley11@reddit
Someone saying "bless you" when you sneeze; you're supposed to say "thank you."
mouse_rags@reddit
Nah, can't do it. I was once informed by a very reliable 9 year old that saying thank you after a 'bless you' kills fairies.
You should be polite, but can't say thank you. I usually go with the 'cheers' loophole.
behavedgoat@reddit
Indicate especially at roundabout so you're minimising your risk of an accident and it's considerate
LentilRice@reddit
To be fair this is not unspoken social understanding. It is mentioned in the Highway Code section 184 - signalling etc whilst approaching a roundabout.
I agree with you though, that not all drivers follow this.
behavedgoat@reddit
Yes the inconsiderate people really wind me up .
Mr_Arty_mural_man@reddit
If someone walks into you, you say sorry to them ..
BlueMirror1@reddit
Definitely one of the bigger rules. Always apologise for other people's mistakes, even if it's their fault.
ChallengingKumquat@reddit
If someone bangs into you, you must apologise.
If you're really hurt and they ask if you're OK, you must say yes.
Hcmp1980@reddit
Queue.
Sea-Still5427@reddit
True when you're young, but there are still older, very sociable people in my family who would find this a bit unwelcome as it implies your host is wanting!
RiverCat57@reddit
Your family sounds rich
ImpressNice299@reddit
Reddit thinks anyone with their own shoes is rich.
RiverCat57@reddit
Maybe it’s just because I’m Irish but providing alcohol for an entire party of people would cost several hundred quid, that’s before you start buying food or anything else. You can disagree if you like, that’s probably your privilege talking, but in this economy you do have to be rich to afford that.
ImpressNice299@reddit
Your parties sound a lot bigger than mine.
Sea-Still5427@reddit
I think it's just traditional social rules. Another one is not taking flowers with you as it gives your already busy hostess another job to do; better to send them next day.
ImpressNice299@reddit
I've been trying to put my finger on it, but that's exactly how I'd feel if someone turned up at my place with a bottle of booze after I'd gone to the supermarket specifically to sort it.
Fun_Cod_8040@reddit
If you get into a cab you MUST ask the cab driver if it’s been busy
Fun_Cod_8040@reddit
You have to slap your knees and say “right” before you get up to leave
No-Pace2105@reddit
That there is an acceptable distance for holding open a door for someone.
Normally involves the person having to make a small acceleration towards you but not so much that they have to run
Crivens999@reddit
Remember if they don’t say thanks then you need to scowl at everyone else but them. Mutter something under your breath for added resentment
ScotiaTheTwo@reddit
riiiiiight ta
Crivens999@reddit
Never complain. A waiter can literally wank into your soup, and really you just should not ask for more seasoning plus only give a small tip. Instead maybe tut a bit, but only if it’s someone else doing something and you can see it and want to make sure everyone near you can hear you tut, but prob not the person doing it
Slow_Apricot8670@reddit
Saying “See you later” to people you definitely are not going to see later.
Finish your shopping, take your change from the cashier who you do not know and you sign off with a cheery “see you later”.
You buy a coffee in a shop many miles from home and have a mild interaction with the barista, maybe you comment on the beans. You take your coffee and add “thanks, see you later”.
Off you pop to pay a parking fine at the local council office, the clerk behind the counter passes you a receipt, despite the austere nature of this intersection…”cheers, see you later”.
ImpressNice299@reddit
That's a good one. In a lot of countries, the done thing would be to adopt a role in those situations. Brits just go through the charade, with the apologetic undertone that you'd both rather not.
Slow_Apricot8670@reddit
I’ll be honest and say the last time I had to go to a council office to pay a fine, it was in Salford and they were somewhat surprised that anyone had come in to pay, rather than being summoned via the court.
saigon2010@reddit
Bar queuing - basically rock into any space along the bar, the staff will generally have an idea on who is next...
If the staff member is mistaken, politely gesture to the person who was in front of you.
The current idea of queuing away from the bar in one line that's occurred since lockdown is an assault on British culture.
Obviously cheer if the staff member drops a glass
Gaz112000@reddit
If someone drops a glass, you are supposed to shout “sack the juggler!”
jamnut@reddit
Too twee for me, a gutteral 'Wheeeeey' is all that's needed
TawnyTeaTowel@reddit
You are. It’s the law.
uxhewrote@reddit
I live abroad and visited home a month ago and this crazy queuing blew my mind.
The pub was quite small so people were forming a ridiculous line blocking the door instead of just lining up along the bar like we've done since forever. Absolutely bonkers.
ImpressNice299@reddit
Important to remember not to do this in a country where they don't.
Pitandfroper@reddit
As someone who goes to pubs a lot less these days mainly because of kids and money and life, it absolutely astounds me that people now default to a single file queue.
Last time I saw it I simply walked to a smaller bit of the bar round the corner from them, got served, and got glared at by them all as if I had done something wrong.
Idiots.
Lopsided_Rush3935@reddit
Wouldn't queueing at a bar be an advancement of British culture? It's two very British cultural identifiers compounding together.
muddy_shoes_blah@reddit
So this isn't gonna make me look good but I got fucked off with this once and walked straight past the line and went to the bar, I let the person at the front of the queue go before me but then the barman served me next
Slow_Apricot8670@reddit
I have done this.
---_-------@reddit
Nice one...
I don't think I'd be able to resist : "It's not the post office, folks..."
PraterViolet@reddit
Well done, you're pretty much defending a bedrock of our nation. If it were down to me, both you and muddy_shoes_blah would receive the Victoria Cross.
Slow_Apricot8670@reddit
The fun part of working behind the bar with the British system, is that you can tweak it to subtly teach arseholes a lesson.
virusofthemind@reddit
Like people standing at a busy bar, they tend to end up with an empty glass precariously placed next to their elbow.
wildOldcheesecake@reddit
Same when you go into a takeaway and there are a couple of you too
CityOfNorden@reddit
I've given up at bus stops. Maybe I'm part of the problem, but it seems like people don't care who has been waiting longest, they just pile on, so I've started doing the same. I always used to wait my turn, but if I try and do that now, it seems I always end up getting on last.
wildOldcheesecake@reddit
I do understand where you’re coming from. I live in London so when I’m taking the bus to get to work, I’ll follow this rule. I don’t want to get on the bad side of regulars and we’re all quite decent about it. Catching the bus in central London? It often does become a free for all
arpw@reddit
It's just not a rule that exists in London really. Buses are a free for all. The only bit of etiquette is around letting elderly/disabled/pregnant/pushchairs etc on first.
Most bus stops serve more than one route anyway which makes this kind of virtual queue harder to track too.
wildOldcheesecake@reddit
Well as I said, it depends where in London. There is more to London than the City and Westminster…
Where I am in London, people would be pissed; it’s not a free for all. As you travel inner city, it’s as you say.
arpw@reddit
I've found this all over London from Central to zone 5. Any red London bus, it's a free for all.
wildOldcheesecake@reddit
Not in my experience. Not sure why you’re so set on insisting that this is set in stone.
PraterViolet@reddit
Dear god, where does this occur? I think I'd leave if I ever witnessed this abomination.
Slow_Apricot8670@reddit
Whenever a breakage happened in a pub (or restaurant) my mate (sadly no longer with us) would lead us in a chant of “Fry’s Turkish Delight!”
You’ll need to be over 45 to understand why I reckon.
labbeduddel@reddit
That's Gen z, queuing for a pint.
Pristine_Long_5640@reddit
Where i live if your dog poops in the street you don't confront them and it's ok to jump the bus queue
springsomnia@reddit
If you have builders or other tradespeople at your house you have to offer them tea and biscuits.
And you always have to say thank you to the bus driver when you get off. In London it’s “thank you driver”.
thetartanviking@reddit
"mate" is an insult
And insults are terms of endearment
Shrug
GraphicDesignMonkey@reddit
In Cornwall, 'Cheers!' means hello, goodbye, thank you, and a toast.
AlodiaAngel@reddit
Showing up without a drink is basically social treason, like mate, are you here to vibe or just drain the fridge? Bonus points if you bring something quirky like a weird craft beer no one’s heard of—it’s practically a party flex.
kitjen@reddit
I had a mate turn up for the boxing at ours once with three cans of Carlsberg. It was 7pm and the fight was on around 2am and he said he just didn't fancy drinking much.
Fine.
Except every time someone went to get a beer he asked for one and probably got through about 12 in total.
GraphicDesignMonkey@reddit
That's a good way to never get invited to anyone's house ever again.
ImpressNice299@reddit
If you want to be relentlessly mocked for the rest of the evening.
great_blue_panda@reddit
In my culture if you are invited somewhere, there will be everything offered at the place unless explicitly told so. But guests still have to bring a gift as courtesy
RiverCat57@reddit
If someone is offering a group of people a cups of tea and you are the 3rd+ person to be asked, you are obligated to offer help by saying ‘sure let me give you a hand, you’ll not be able to carry all that!’
ImpressNice299@reddit
That's a good one. I'd never once thought about it before today, but I do it all the time.
labbeduddel@reddit
For the people from cultures that go Dutch when going out ( looking at you Germans), in the UK usually people will split the bill equally. I like this.
ImpressNice299@reddit
Perhaps because I'm pushing 40, but I've never split the bill in a restaurant. I'm not even sure how that would work.
robtheblob12345@reddit
No way I hate splitting if I know I’ve spent more than everyone or vice versa. Pay for what you had. Being an inconsiderate asshole and going for the most expensive option then forcing others to split is not British
true_honest-bitch@reddit
Splitting checks is always pretty cringe to me. I'm working class and someone usually always treats unless it's lunch, usually whoever invited people or whoever's turn it is, splitting a check in a resteraunt is so lame and feels sort of uncouth to me. Like I'm a poor as fuck bartender with a factory worker husband living in a 1 bedroom ground floor apartment, not a pot to piss in, and in my culture it's kind of seen as low class, I feel like when it's a rare situation where we would split a check (a mutual idea to go for a dinner, usually spur of the moment) it would be paid for in the resteraunt and then roughly sorted out later by bank transfer or whatever, but honestly I even feel like then the one who didn't pay for dinner would get drinks after or pay a taxi home or something, or just get the next one. I dunno, I'm a bartender and ive worked all-sorts of places over the last 2 decades and I feel splitting checks is kind of what lame people do, you know like that friend who asks for the £3.20 you borrowed back but doesn't offer to pay you back that £20 from the week before, like 'only child syndrome' type people 🤣🤣
PurpleOctopus6789@reddit
I think it's got to do with not having much money. I grew up poor and back then, 'd feel ashamed then too. But earning a lot more money as adults, I learned how to overome that shame, I am perfectly fine with splitting the bill and just paying for what I ordered. Restaurants are now used to people splitting/paying what they ordered and their tills have special ways of dividing the bill.
It's absolutely not uncouth to do that. It's perfectly normal and people do it all the time. And frankly, it's not awkward at all for people who do that. Honestly, it's not even a consideration, it's just a way of paying and people don't give it a second thought.
And it's not necessarily part of ritual to treat each other. Eating out is about spending time with each other, paying for everyone is not part of the equation. and actually expecting one person to pay because they suggested the idea can quickly lead to resentment if other's aren't doing the same. Just paying for yourself saves everyone a headache and no one feels resentment.
SpikesNLead@reddit
Screw that, the Germans are doing it right. If someone wants to order the most expensive things on the menu then they can pay for it themselves.
labbeduddel@reddit
In my experience people don't overdo it. However if you're not hungry, drink alcohol, or eat a lot, then it will be unfair.
SpikesNLead@reddit
It's fine when no one is taking the piss, I'm not going to object to splitting a bill equally because someone ordered a main that cost 50p more than mine did.
Unfortunately I've been for meals too often with people who absolutely were taking the piss and then insisting on splitting the bill equally...
I'm finding it is more common these days for restaurants to have systems that make it dead easy for everyone to pay for just what they ordered anyway.
Kian-Tremayne@reddit
There is a very British assumption of “reasonable behaviour” that makes this work, like a lot of our other customs. We know we’re going to split the bill evenly, so I make sure my share of it is in the right region. If I want an expensive main course then I will skip dessert, or have one less beer than the others… or just make sure I have a cheaper option next time we go out.
That “reasonable behaviour” assumption is part of our culture - even our politics. A big part of our constitution is unwritten rules and expectations. And like the guy who switches to a double of something expensive when it’s someone else’s round, we notice the people who push the limits on those unwritten rules.
labbeduddel@reddit
This is very true. It'll be noticed and at some point very politely admonished, or such person won't be invited as often.
oktimeforplanz@reddit
I don't drink very much, and I often choose to drive places (including being the designated driver where needed), and people ripping the piss does my head in. I end up being on the cheaper side for whatever I have - I'm content with a couple of soft drinks and water, so there ends up being 'spare' if that makes sense. I'm still perfectly happy to split the bill evenly at the end, so I sort of subsidise everyone to a degree? But it's only a matter of a few pounds so who cares. Plus when I gave people a lift home, people would always insist on giving me fuel money, so it all balanced out in the end.
But there was a now ex-friend who would take it upon themselves to "use up" my "budget", but they'd more than use it. As in, my bill, if I paid it individually, would be £10-15 less than everyone else's, but they'd see it as license to have an extra £30+ worth of stuff for themselves, and so everyone else is instead subsidising them. It was such scumbag behaviour and when it became a habit, they suddenly stopped hearing about planned nights out.
Moving4Motion@reddit
I DIDN'T EAT ANY CALAMARI SO IM NOT PAYING FOR ANY CALAMARI!
labbeduddel@reddit
😂
Reasonable-Horse1552@reddit
Which is fine if you're all having the same, but most unfair for the poor bugger that's drinking tap water and eating a side salad.
labbeduddel@reddit
Luckily I don't have friends like that. Jokes aside, we mostly go out for festive occasions, so we all order starters, bottles of wine etc
Round_Caregiver2380@reddit
One of the best things about Spoons. Everyone can just use the app to order their own stuff.
carpediemcarpenocte@reddit
Really? In my experience people tend to bring what they are going to drink and are reluctant to share. If I want to drink beer I bring a pack of 6 or 12, not because I'm going to drink them all. But to share them with other people. The ones that are left, I leave them for the host. However, I've seen people just bringing 2 cans if veer because that was what they were planning to drink. Or take home half a bottle of gin because they brought it and they didn't drink it all
Maybe I'm hanging out with the wrong Brits
ImpressNice299@reddit
If I have people over, I make sure I've got enough booze in to finish them all.
PaddedValls@reddit (OP)
No, you are correct in what you are saying.
Part of the social contract is that any drink leftover at the end of the night is left in tribute to the host to do with as they please. Anyone taking their drink back home with them can safely be labelled as a tight arse
Miss_Consuela@reddit
Unless the hosts tell you to take it back. Every year someone usually hosts a NYE party. Everyone always brings too much, so whenever I host I make people take back their spirits if they are up to it less than half way used. I also don’t drink a lot so it would just be wasted sat in my house all year round.
PaddedValls@reddit (OP)
Yeah, I think there's an even deeper level of unspoken social contract where there is actually an unacceptable amount of drink the leave at someone's house.
A couple tins? Leave it.
An opened bottle of vodka? That's done. Leave it.
1 unopened bottle of gin? That's subject to how many other bottles of gin are at the house. I'd there are a few, take yours home.
Any and every type of mixer gets left. Especially if it's Coke or lemonade. That can be drank by the host any time of day.
HotAdvantage7208@reddit
What about a tenner box of bounty that I bought for me and stupidly opened when I was there and forgot. I know the fucking answer haha I just want a bounty right now :(
RiverCat57@reddit
Leaving a couple of beers behind is one thing but half a bottle of gin??? In this economy?
Inviinvisible@reddit
Ask if you have to take off your shoes especially if you see carpet in the house
afcote1@reddit
My assumption is that you don’t take them off.
ImpressNice299@reddit
Same, but it probably depends on your upbringing. Council houses tend to have lino floors downstairs.
louuluby7@reddit
Very wrong
afcote1@reddit
It’s class based. The upper classes have dogs etc. and don’t ask guests to remove shoes.
TotoCocoAndBeaks@reddit
What do you mean by upper classes? This isn't the case for middle class, and actual 'upper class' is effectively irrelevant in this discussion. We are not discussing the generalized house rules for nobility and royalty.
Rocky-bar@reddit
Mine too, if they really want your shoes off they'll tell you.
MagickJam@reddit
Wrongun
Round_Caregiver2380@reddit
I just take them off unless they answer the door in shoes.
TotoCocoAndBeaks@reddit
I always presumed that was the best thing to do, but apparently some people are offended if you do take them off also haha
Yet to go to one of those houses though.
tmstms@reddit
You have to judge whether people saying We must do this again / We must have lunch etc etc is real or whether it is code for I never want to see you again- have a nice life
KatelynRose1021@reddit
This is why I will never be able to communicate well with neurotypical people. I’ve never even thought to interpret this as anything other than what it sounds like.
How do people seem to psychically know when things aren’t meant literally and when they are?
ImpressNice299@reddit
I'm a neurotypical people and it baffles me too.
tmstms@reddit
People don't.
They err on the side of caution.
Many friendships are lost/ never happen because of it.
BeardedBaldMan@reddit
This frustrates my wife so much. When she says "you must come and stay with us" she is completely serious and already has the guest bedroom prepared and is adding you to our car insurance.
I've learned now to tell people afterwards that this isn't an empty offer and she really does want to plan a date when they will come and stay.
ImpressNice299@reddit
I always go for specifics. Suggest you book a specific restaurant or an event that's on to make clear that it's a real offer.
KizzyHew@reddit
Awww! Your wife sounds lovely!
louuluby7@reddit
How can you know the difference? As a foreign I'm aware of this situation howver I'm never sure what's going on
stolethemorning@reddit
If they suggest a date or a vague time when they’re free (e.g. “it would be lovely to do this again, I’m free in a couple weeks so let me know if you’re free then too!”) then they def want to do it again. If they don’t say this, then you can prompt it by saying “sure, I’d love to! Just message me about when you’re free and we can arrange something!” However, they may also assume that you’re being polite. In that case, it may be better to slip in some specific thing so they know you’re for real: e.g. “I’ve heard about this great place over at __ that I’d love to try out, you should come with me! Message me about when you’re free”, then that still leaves the ball in their court for a polite refusal while letting them know you’re genuinely interested.
tmstms@reddit
You cannot know. That is the plot twist.
Academic_Visual116@reddit
Around this time last year I was told / told at least 4 people 'We absolutely MUST make a point of Meeting up next year'.
And recieved/ gave confirmation that yes it would DEFINITELY happen...
I've met none of them this year - That is fine.
I fully expect we will 'rinse and repeat' again over next few days
Big-Parking9805@reddit
I had "we should defo do something this year, and for sure go away together" from an old friend/flame that I had a few dates with before I had moved towns at the end of 2023. I haven't seen them in 2024.
Guess who got in touch with the same type of message for Xmas 🤦🏼♂️
AlmondEgg@reddit
I like to think I can read people well but then I read things like this and reconsider everything
MongooseJef@reddit
Yeah this has blown my mind, I never considered that meant anything other than what they said!
saccerzd@reddit
I'd say it's an untruth (or at best a vague empty offer) more often than not
ImpressNice299@reddit
Don't think I've ever been to a house party, but don't they supply the booze? Isn't that kind of the point?
SafeIce5660@reddit
American here and the standard to bring something when invited is here too but I have a friend who only brings drinks for himself despite gladly taking what I offer. He’ll cheekily keep his goods hidden in a cooler and take the rest with him when he leaves. If he wasn’t a childhood friend I wouldn’t be so graceful but damn does it get tiring. Also his entire family are penny pinchers despite being fairly well off. They’d rather put every extra penny in savings than have “a loss” by being kind.
robtheblob12345@reddit
Yeah taking home what you’ve brought to supposedly share is gauche af/ borderline trashy
kitjen@reddit
I had a friend come to ours but his beers were warm so he asked for one of mine while his were in the fridge. Then he asked for a second because his still weren't cold enough. He said he's replace them but he drank my beers all night and then when he left he took all of his home with him.
Indigo-Waterfall@reddit
I’m autistic and reading these comments it’s killing me with embarrassment because I know I’ve messed up so many times without knowing.
flowering_sun_star@reddit
It took me til my late twenties to figure out that someone asking 'how are you?' absolutely does not want to know how you are. Especially if how you are involves long term depression.
The 'how are you?' still gets me nearly every time though, because my every instinct is to avoid lying. The best I can do is an uncertain 'eh', and moving on.
Fixable@reddit
If it makes you feel better, half of them are redditors who never leave the house imagining what British culture is like.
The_Sown_Rose@reddit
I was just thinking this thread could be printed out and given to autistic people like some sort of manual.
louuluby7@reddit
We immigrants also messed up all the time
Icy_Mistake2996@reddit
Same. I'm 27 soon too 😭
Indigo-Waterfall@reddit
I’m much older than 27 haha
mootallica@reddit
Don't feel embarrassed. You are impervious to all of these things people just expect you to "know" through cultural osmosis. It's all bollocks anyway. Most of the things where there are any real consequences for you getting it wrong are more in the common sense category e.g. to be on the safe side, don't take the piss - applicable to many many things. If you take the piss, autistic or otherwise, expect to be called out.
But if you're just embrassed about not knowing queue etiquette, or not knowing the kind of answer someone is looking for when they ask you a question, my experience as an autistic person leads me back to the same thing - who fuckin cares?
If people generally like you and you don't constantly find yourself in situations where you're genuinely pissing people off, you're probably fine. Be who you are.
PaddedValls@reddit (OP)
Not to worry, we've all broken an unspoken rule at some point.
When I was younger, I always used to turn up to house parties to minesweep other people drinks.
Diabolical.
Tiny_Megalodon6368@reddit
Don't shit in the street. And if your dog shits in the street, pick it up. We like to be able to walk around without standing in shit.
Novel_Individual_143@reddit
I love neuro atypical people for this. It’s so straightforward
AlwaysPlantin@reddit
When you make a cup of tea or get a packet of crisps from the kitchen, you offer everyone else one or ask "do you want anything through?", even if they're on keto and have never had tea in their life.
therealtinsdale@reddit
honestly, iv never had tea in my life — but i’m offered one every time someone does a round at work, and i really do appreciate that🥲.
i always make sure to have tea bags and sugar in my flat, too.. and it’s always offered to guests!
AlwaysPlantin@reddit
Yes!!! Same here! I've had one lonely box of tetleys in the cupboard for about 6 months now. I do have one now and again but it's mostly for guests.
gromitrules@reddit
Never turn up before the time on the invite. If it says six, six-thirty, do NOT turn up at quarter to six. Country I’m from, if it says that it starts at six and there is for instance a meal involved - this will be the time when people actually sit down to eat. Turn up at six thirty and the food will be all gone and everybody gives you the side-eye. Everybody will have turned up BEFORE the time stated (not necessarily a lot earlier, but definitely before). I did this once in the UK and it was massively embarrassing, both for me and the host - although at least we did have a good conversation about social expectations and I’ve never made that particular mistake again.
PlasticMechanic3869@reddit
New Zealanders are shockers for this. You get invited to a BBQ - cool! What time to show up? "oh just whenever, in the afternoon sometime I guess." No, give me a time so that everybody can arrive within 15 minutes of that time.
Every time I host a party in New Zealand, I give a start time and then half an hour past that, I think it's a fail because there's three people here. But then between half an hour and an hour after the time I told them to arrive, 15 people show up.
Glad-Introduction833@reddit
“I’ll put the kettle on” as soon as someone arrives at your house.
PlasticMechanic3869@reddit
Growing up in New Zealand with Dutch immigrants, or drives me nuts when I visit friends and aren't offered a coffee as soon as I arrive. There's a 30 second countdown from the time the door opens, ffs, otherwise my Dutch genes are screaming at me that this is a bad time and I'm not welcomed in the house.
Desperate-Source-918@reddit
If whilst walking someone is walking the other way towards you, you both lean to the same side and then the other trying to pass each other; both of you apologise for this situation.
PlasticMechanic3869@reddit
It's a theory of mine that almost every time this happens, one of the people involved is lefthanded.
You stepped off you right foot, as is natural for you. They stepped off their left foot, as is natural for them.
If you're walking towards each other, that means that instead of passing by each other, both of you move to block each other.
Since I've made a conscious and deliberate effort to step off my right foot instead of my left, this happens a LOT less often.
ringerrosy@reddit
Or say, 'we're dancing'
EatingCoooolo@reddit
“If our feet touch, we fuck obviously”
therealtinsdale@reddit
merry christMARK, everyone!
OriginalMandem@reddit
Then you leave the cheap Blue Nun/Black Tower on the sideboard, and drink all their £20 a bottle fancy stuff.
Teawillfixit@reddit
While there is no visible or obvious queue at the bar, there is an unspoken queue and etiquette to get served in order.
Tea will fix everything, person looking a bit sad? Offer a cuppa. Train ran late? Offer a cuppa. Entire family been eaten by zombies? Offer a cuppa.
martzgregpaul@reddit
Also: Bring mixers, theres never enough
labbeduddel@reddit
And ice cubes!
kitjen@reddit
"Hey, glad you could make it. Why are your pockets wet?"
shredderroland@reddit
When two of you are walking on the pavement and meet someone going the other way, don't form a single file so everyone can fit comfortably. Try to just squeeze past. The narrower the pavement the better.
No_Detail9259@reddit
You must take your jabs to protect others.
tiankai@reddit
I went back to an office job after 4 years of remote sole trading, and I can comfortably say 50% of the office did not vaccinate for covid, left me baffled. Obvious anecdote, but doesn’t sound like your take is as popular unfortunately
No_Detail9259@reddit
Weren't they sacked?
The_Sown_Rose@reddit
You can’t sack people just for not getting vaccinated.
PurpleOctopus6789@reddit
this was a thing in many countries because it's true
ChickenKnd@reddit
For men Urinals Always pick one atleast a slot away from the next person, unless not available in which case look for a corner, else just choose any and look awakward
charlottehans@reddit
Unless everyone is drunk and then it's nice cock mate.
SickBoylol@reddit
If you drop a plate or drink on the floor, you will get the mandatory "waAAAAAaaaayyyy" cheer.
cdh79@reddit
Those that don't return supermarket trolleys are subhuman deviants who deserve a slow agonising death.
ShoeNo9050@reddit
It probably was said but saying thank you to the driver. I came from Poland and going back on holiday there gives me so many "what the fuck did you say" if you tell that to a bus driver. You just don't interact a lot with strangers.
Might have been just my area but still. It was such a big shock
Silvanon101@reddit
Queue
Smooth-Bowler-9216@reddit
Always make a note of your position in a queue.
Redirect if you are called earlier than your position.
Silently mutter if someone jumps ahead of you in the queue
Specialist-Emu-5119@reddit
Don’t ask “what school did you go to?” Unless you want to be seen as a bigot.
dickwildgoose@reddit
Fancy a quick pint? - Means let's go out and get absolutely wankered.
UltimaJay5@reddit
Quick pint = a session Swift half = quick catch up
labbeduddel@reddit
"Let's go for a cheeky pint" - I'll be home at 2am on a Wednesday
Fjordi_Cruyff@reddit
Don't turn up unannounced to my house.
FighterJock412@reddit
Anyone who says "I'll just go out and have one or 2 drinks, just to be sociable" will end up falling out of a taxi home at 3am utterly wankered, having had the craziest night of their life.
cowgirlin-02@reddit
going through this comment section as an autistic person is eye-opening 😭 why do you all lie so much? why do you tell people the exact opposite of what you mean?
two-pairs-of-pints@reddit
If someone asks you out for a “drink/beer”, expect to have at least 3 or 4 and potentially up to 10. If asked out for a “few/couple of drinks/beers”, don’t make plans for that entire day/night and potentially considering writing off the following day also.
Accurate_Prompt_8800@reddit
Weather as a safe conversation starter: talking about the weather is a go-to topic which rarely fails to break the ice.
Andiamo87@reddit
It's nok a UK thing
-BlahajMyBeloved@reddit
It is a UK thing. It's an other-places thing too, but that doesn't make it not a UK thing.
The thread doesn't ask for exclusively UK things
MumbleSnix@reddit
Just a small one (drink) = fill it to the brim!
LittleSadRufus@reddit
Similarly "a swift half" = "might as well order the late night taxi home in advance, will be too smashed to organise it when I actually need it"
MumbleSnix@reddit
100%!
Hungry_Lobster_8171@reddit
Yeah I always bring my own glass.
durkheim98@reddit
If someone offers you a token amount of money for a cigarette like 50p. You don't actually accept the money.
VolcanicBear@reddit
Your entire family could have just been brutally eviscerated by a murderbot, but the response to "You alright?" is still either "good thanks, and there?" or maybe "yeah, not bad thanks, you?" at worst.
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