If someone takes you out and they're paying, do you order what you'd usually order or show extra restraint?

Posted by Born-Necessary9533@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 10 comments

When my parents take me and my husband out, I'm consciously a bit stingy, I'll get the smallest main, I'll get one drink etc. But my husband orders steak and cocktails haha. Is that cheeky, or if someone takes you out, should they essentially be okay with you ordering anything on the menu (not lobster thermidor and vintage champagne but any of the regular things...)?

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10 Comments

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One-eyed-bed-snake@reddit

Normal order. Likewise, I'd expect someone to order what they'd normally have if I was paying. What's the point in taking someone out for a meal if they've then got to sit there worrying about what they have in case they offend you?

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LDKCP@reddit

I tend to try to match the person treating in price/quantity. I obviously don't want to take the piss, but if they are having a few beers and a nice meal, I'll happily do the same. When I've took people out, I've found myself gently encouraging them to order what they fancy, I don't think I'd get pissed off at them ordering anything expensive unless they were taking the piss or disrespectful about it. A little restraint or awareness of cost is always respectful and a good show of etiquette, but if I'm treating someone, I don't want to accounting too much.

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blwds@reddit

I’d generally go for what I’d get if I were paying, unless I knew the person paying was struggling financially, then I’d go smaller/similar to what they were getting. I wouldn’t be impressed if I felt like someone was trying to capitalise on the fact that I was paying, but equally I wouldn’t want someone to get something they didn’t want because then it sort of ceases to be a treat.

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Mr_lovebucket@reddit

I’d order what I would if I were paying within limits. If everyone else is ordering something inexpensive I’d avoid the lobster

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OrdinarySuper6983@reddit

I just ask my parents if they take me and my partner out to dinner. Like: “you mind if I get a couple of Long Island iced teas with a ribeye?” and they’re chill I don’t get people's obsession with trying to work out what to do by doing anything OTHER than asking the person it concerns lol

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Born-Necessary9533@reddit (OP)

I guess but I feel unless you're very comfortable with those people, they're not going to reply honestly anyway, they'll just be like "oh sure, get what you like!" \*secretly seethes\* haha

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OrdinarySuper6983@reddit

If they don’t want you to get what you like, then they shouldn’t say “get what you like” lol Not your problem if someone’s not grown up enough to set some boundaries with you as a fellow adult

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pillowcase99999@reddit

I am exactly the same as you, I think it says a lot about you and how much you love your parents. Conversely when I take them out I will always say , have 3 courses , have the fillet and whatever you want it’s my treat, they always take the piss too lol.

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nicthemighty@reddit

It depends on: - the restaurant - the occasion - the relationship So if work is paying, all bets are off. If my friend is paying, I'll end up returning the favour at some point. If parents are paying, I'll probably show restraint.

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