ULPT request: my neighbor watches football everyday from 9 to 11pm and screams throughout the play. How can i make it stop?

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No-Psychology-7322@reddit

Watch the same game just somehow be a few minutes faster than his broadcast and spoil it for him by cheering loudly when a play is made.

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Curious3724@reddit

Wake up at 5am and scream at the morning news.

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zr07@reddit (OP)

There are other neighbors. I don’t want to bother them too

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writinglegit2@reddit

I hate to even ask for fear of the 99% common reddit response, but have you.... tried knocking on the door and telling him this?

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Curious3724@reddit

Might only need to do it a couple times to get the point across. Would be worth it imo.

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zr07@reddit (OP)

Yeah its probably the most effective solution. Thanks !

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Equal_Actuator_3777@reddit

And how the hell are you expecting him to link your yelling with his? Common sense is not common anymore I see….

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IndyAndyJones777@reddit

What did the neighbor say when you discussed this with them rationally?

Are these live football games the neighbor is watching or can you watch them five minutes earlier and scream the big plays?

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JupiterSkyFalls@reddit

Isn't he already bothering the neighbors with his shenanigans?

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GeoHog713@reddit

WEATHER ON THE 1S!!! TRAFFIC ON 1S!!!!!

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Problem is the neighbour aware that he cheering is annoying loud? If not, making lots of noise yourself will annoy him but not change his bad behaviour. Try some of the other strategies suggested here.

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AndarianDequer@reddit

This isn't a bad plan. What you can do is have a YouTube video on loop of someone screaming and play it while you're out shopping or something at some inconvenient time. If they ask you to knock it off, tell them you will if they will.

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Little_Bishop1@reddit

YEAHHHH GO RAIN

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Actually-Yo-Momma@reddit

WOOOHOOO ITS GONNA BE 44F WITH OVERCAST!!’ OVERCAST OVERCAST OVERCAST!

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ctothel@reddit

Obviously the ethical version is telling him it bothers you. If someone told me this I’d be mortified and grateful they raised it.

The unethical option (if talking doesn't work): record the yelling and set it to play full volume in his direction at an inconvenient time for him.

He will learn (or you will tell him) that his 4 am experience is entirely under his control.

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CrudBert@reddit

Record him screaming, and then after the game play it back at him.

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Gunnermate222@reddit

Football isn’t even on everyday. Or on during the week most of the time.

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MoreOfAGrower@reddit

People live other places than the United States FYI

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Gunnermate222@reddit

What other places has football playing everyday and every night all year?

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MoreOfAGrower@reddit

Ffs you can’t be this ignorant on purpose

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marriedtoranch@reddit

Every time he screams start moaning as loud and sexually as you can. He will hear the moans and eventually connect it to the screaming. He will either be terrified and stop or scream more to elicit said moans.

Take this a step further by asking others if they hear the guy that screams and moans.

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TrontRaznik@reddit

I unironically think this is the best idea in the thread.

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DS3M@reddit

Are you the guy from Nonk Ink Nails

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zr07@reddit (OP)

Haha unfortunately i have other neighbors i respect

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MayorNarra@reddit

Leave him a note explaining how sexually exciting you find his cheering. Ask him to scream louder befit arouses you. Guarantee that will quiet him down.

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marriedtoranch@reddit

That’s the part where you blame it on the screamer. But sounds like you want some unethical tip that is still in the realms of reality in society. I would leave a note on his door saying “Hope it’s not a bother but we can hear you scream every night, we enjoy football too but maybe be aware of noise levels. Not asking you to stop but please be aware of noise and other neighbors especially during times closer to 9pm.”

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zr07@reddit (OP)

Yeah a note can do it. Thank you

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marriedtoranch@reddit

No thank you! Rare that people actually take advice on this sub.

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GeoHog713@reddit

Seems like 9:15 is the perfect time to slide a piss disk under his door

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eltegs@reddit

Leaflet campaign.

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Aufdie@reddit

I've had this happen. Unwittingly found the perfect solution for you. Put his game on then wait for that tense moment, say they're two yards from the end zone or fourth and two with three minutes to go. Right before anything happens just start cheering enthusiastically. Whatever happens he's in for some crushing emotion because the guy I did it to quit watching football over it. Not sure psychologically what's going on there but I felt bad.

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AlphabetMeat@reddit

any reason you don't want to just ask him to keep it down

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zr07@reddit (OP)

If he’s too uneducated to not scream at 11pm then he is certainly a hothead and to not talk to as a civilized person

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HotSaucePalmTrees@reddit

Woah, 🚩 🚩 🚩, this is quite an elitist and pompous response. People watch football. Get over yourself. Talk to him about being loud or mind your own business and go back to being a hater

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justlurkinout2@reddit

Why is this being downvoted? This is valid.

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IrradiantFuzzy@reddit

Lost ethical cunts only see the LPT in the sub title.

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feels_can@reddit

Ironically, assuming like that makes you sound very uneducated lol

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musicandsex@reddit

I just thought of the only person i know that yells at the tv when were watching sports, hes a mad man i invited him once to watch a game at my house, just me and him, he bought TWO OFFICIAL JERSEYS for the game one of which he gave me lol

He's a doctor.

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AlphabetMeat@reddit

i don't think the solution to every problem is knee jerk revenge. Like before you really piss him off, maybe try the diplomatic approach.

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Impressive-Crab2251@reddit

Wrong sub, OP is asking for unethical tips.

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Copperhead881@reddit

OP tried nothing before this and just wants to be the main character.

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Copperhead881@reddit

Imagine not knocking on their door and asking to turn it down. Have you even tried that?

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AlphabetMeat@reddit

tbf i stay up till 12:00 gaming so 11:00 pm isn't really that late. If bro goes to bed at 1 he's still getting 7 hours of sleep.

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ExternalLandscape937@reddit

Whole bunch of assumptions there. Are you sure you aren't just a coward?

There's different cultures across the US, maybe he's from a place that's full of noise and said screaming is just a part of life.

Maybe his last place had thicker walls.

Maybe he just doesn't realize how loud he gets because he's passionate about football, and would try to change his behavior if someone asked.

Anyway my actual ULTP is to find the cable box and cut cables till you figure out which one goes to his apt. Based off your remarks I still think you're just a coward though.

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NFA_throwaway@reddit

99% of Reddit really needs actual human interaction and to touch grass.

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CaptainPunisher@reddit

Fuck you. I grew up fixing mowers and now I'm a programmer. I don't want grass! Mostly because I don't want to use a mower after fixing them for over 30 years.

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D-ouble-D-utch@reddit

So just chicken shit

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FancyADrink@reddit

You are silly and gay! Ask him politely to keep it down before you go on the internet to fantasize with strangers about putting pee disks in his tv remote

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NFA_throwaway@reddit

Hey may not realize how much sound goes through the walls. Weird thing to infer about someone and I don’t even like sports.

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bclem@reddit

Maybe they just don't know how well you can hear through the walls. Like if your always extra quiet and courteous and they never here you they might just thinks they're is good sound insulation

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SugestedName@reddit

Kinda agree with the "some assumptions" guy. If it is all in the same condo, you have the privilege to call maintance/doorman and ask him to tell the person to tune it down a little bit. That way you won't expose yourself and can take your own conclusions with the outcome

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The-Truth-hurts-@reddit

You should not assume

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Actually-Yo-Momma@reddit

That’s a very very big assumption and on you for not even trying…

That’s straight up Simpsons “I’ve tried nothing and I’m all out of ideas!”

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Apartment-Drummer@reddit

Have you asked him to stop?

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Garth-Vega@reddit

Get an air horn ( canister type) and every time he screams give it a short blast.

That’ll make him aware of his screams.

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demilovato97742@reddit

Buy a rooster

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pohlcat01@reddit

Call the cops and report a crime like domestic violence.

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Agreeable_Cabinet368@reddit

I was gonna say systems abuse but this is unethical life pro tips so I’ll applaud this

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Distinct-Hold-5836@reddit

Piss disc applicable here?

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russellmzauner@reddit

get 10 cheap ass burner phones with the minimum time on them possible and program his number into speed dial

put them on a stack next you on the couch, number them if you have to in order to preserve rotation

when you hear them starting to yell, call their house/phone but don't let them pick up (you don't burn minutes unless you connect); rotate phones for next time they yell

once you figure out what's triggering them, watch the same game on your end and start pinging them right before what looks like important plays; start to let them pick up the phone and be distracted during extra point plays or any plays in the red zone; rotate phones after hanging up a few seconds in

once all the numbers are blocked, request new numbers from the carrier running your phones, repeat

once carrier won't issue you new numbers, rotate burning the remaining few minutes on each phone ordering up some crazy delivery service after you've turned on location services and gotten the phones to think they're at his house by putting them next to the yard fence for a bit; usher the services until they're at his door handing it to them; make sure you're where you can watch because you need to time your disconnect and recycle phone trick move properly (also it's probably pretty satisfying and worth watching the few minutes of football to set up your own reality show out your window where it's basically just endless loads of crap constantly coming to the dude's door during the game)

continue until out of phones

get 10 more phones and repeat until he's fully programmed to self-monitor or he'll get a call or delivery from a weed or porn shop, or hey maybe just 20 pizzas for his party of one - he'll unconsciously start cutting himself off when his own volume starts coming up, because, after all, he just wants to watch the game

I think you can get like 25% credit turning the old phones back in for new ones - they're barely used!

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digital_analogy@reddit

Are they close enough for you to use a universal remote to turn it off?

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Ok_Muffin_925@reddit

Knock on his door with popcorn and tell him, "I heard you watching the game and was wondering if I could come watch it with you. My TV is out I brought popcorn."

From then on keep doing it with different snacks. Sit real close to him on the couch. Real close.

Dude will soon be watching at a bar or will watch in silence hoping you don't knock.

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zr07@reddit (OP)

That made me laugh. I like the idea !

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prawnsforthecat@reddit

Make sure your friends call: “Hell yeah dude, I’m watching the game with my buddy, come over! No, I’m right next door!”

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ChingChingLing@reddit

Assuming he lets you in…

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FoxFXMD@reddit

Or just do the first part and gain a friend :D

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Apartment-Drummer@reddit

Do that thing where you’re stretching and put your arm around his shoulder

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The_Troyminator@reddit

And the thing where you cut a hole in the bottom of the bucket and put it on your lap

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Apartment-Drummer@reddit

Yeah lol

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zr07@reddit (OP)

I’ll watch him instead of the game

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send420nudes@reddit

Im watching Deadpool right now and this is very fitting of him lmao

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Matt3d@reddit

Definitely do the hole in the bottom of the bucket

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chrisledoux182@reddit

If OP can’t work up the nerve to simply ask neighbor to keep it down, I’m not optimistic they can act out a charade on neighbor’s couch

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Ok_Muffin_925@reddit

I'm seeding OP with ideas. Like brainstorming.

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xsmp@reddit

get something that interferes with their tv from 8-11.

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hettuklaeddi@reddit

go out to the pedestal and disconnect his cable

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thisremindsmeofbacon@reddit

Get some large speakers on fb marketplace, aim them at his wall, and blast whatever you want while he's doing it.

when he comes to ask you to stop just say you needed to drown out the noise and you'll agree to turn them on only as loud as needed to preserve your chill zone. Feel free to pretend to be exercising if you want an excuse to not wear headphones, but really you don't need to explain not wanting to wear headphones in your own phone.

Play the same thing he's watching but out of sync to be extra annoying - especially if you can find a stream that runs ahead of his so every play gets spoiled by crappy through the wall audio.

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SludgegunkGelatin@reddit

SWAT him.

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No_Construction_7518@reddit

Everytime he yells sound an airhorn. He'll think you're watching the game too. If he complains tell him you'll quiet down if he does the same.

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hybridHotDog@reddit

Can we assume your in an apartment? Cuz it's been weird if you're relaxing in his yard if y'all are in houses.

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walkawaysux@reddit

Does he have a dish antenna? A little aluminum foil on the pointy thing in the middle of the dish will kill the signal

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Snoo_85901@reddit

Write him a love letter

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throw123454321purple@reddit

OP, check out directional sound deterrents. They’re legal, ultra-loud horns that can be “aimed” in a specific direction so that only the recipients can hear it. They’re completely legal and can be purchased online.

Sound the horn irregularly when the neighbor starts screaming…not enough times to where he can see it’s coming from your place.

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throw123454321purple@reddit

OP, check out directional sound deterrents. They’re legal, ultra-loud horns that can be “aimed” in a specific direction so that only the recipients can hear it. They’re completely legal and can be purchased online.

Sound the horn irregularly when the neighbor starts screaming…not enough times to where he can determine that it’s coming from your place.

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slickback69@reddit

Sell him shitty betting picks. Once he loses all his money the yelling with turn to sobbing nightly.

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Teawillfixit@reddit

Assuming they are single here

But go round and tell him that while the sex sounds amazing and you're almost jealous what a good time he is clearly having could he maybe keep it down as its every night lately 9-11pm.

If he replies he's just watching football look confused and then horrified, and quietly go "oh wow, you really like football.... That's... Wow.... Are you okay mate? Each to their own I guess"

If he gets angry, then so be it. He's more likely to just be super embarrassed.

But every time he cheers loudly he'll think about him sounding like he is having sex while watching and/or that he sounds like he has a footballer kin and/or the fact he is not having sex and is cheering too loudly at a TV screen, alone, every night.

Other bonus - if he tells anyone he will probably just come off as a football fetishest and it'll be to awkward for him to tell anyone.

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Mouseturdsinmyhelmet@reddit

Does he have a window without drapes? If so get a universal remote and program it to his TV. Wait till the runner is on the 10 yard line or the field goal kicker has just kicked then change the channel.

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Shot_Wrap_7656@reddit

ULPT 1: Follow the game live on a betting platform; they often display results slightly ahead of TV streams to prevent advantage betting. React loudly to every event he would typically cheer for, effectively ruining the game for him.

ULPT 2: Figure out which team he supports. When the opposing team scores, cheer as loudly as possible.

Eventually, he'll get annoyed and ask you to stop, giving you the perfect opportunity to ask him to stop too.

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Humble-Kiwi-5272@reddit

These are "ways to get shot"

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FilthyDogsCunt@reddit

Watch the games too and scream at the opposite times to him.

It won't help it'll just be a good bit.

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Impressive-Crab2251@reddit

Make sex moans after he stops cheering. Or get an amp with a parabolic mic, pointing mic and speaker at his house.

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JupiterSkyFalls@reddit

Record him screaming for the entirety of the time. Play back on some really loud speakers as soon as the game's over and let it go for the length of the recording. Ideally, you could start the recording, leave and come back around 11, push play and leave again as it would likely only take doing this once to send the message. People hate hearing themselves on audio devices 99% of the time cuz we sound different than in our heads.

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shadowknows2pt0@reddit

Have you just tried knocking on their door and talking to them? Maybe act like you’re coming home and decided to knock bc you heard some commotion/being a concerned neighbor to break the ice?

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