ULPT REQUEST for shitty roommate
Posted by beachb0yy@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 42 comments
My roommate is moving out soon and she’s a really shitty person. Some of the things she did include threatening to kill herself if she got evicted so I would pay her rent, inviting my date over and sleeping with them, neglecting my cat after she agreed to look after him, using all my dishes and leaving food inside them till it rots, and a bunch of other shit. She owes me $850 (I’m gonna sue). She’s in the process of moving out and I wanna fuck with her in minor (or major) ways until she’s done.
Significant-Win-4405@reddit
Nutella the toilet seat, hell shit everywhere
Apprehensive_Ad_8982@reddit
Good advice: Next time someone threatens to kill themself? Let them.
pineappletrains@reddit
On top of what others have said, as a side gig to fuck with her sign her up with her personal info for annoying spammy things like car dealerships or jehovah witness shit.
JustAnAce@reddit
Normally, I would be all about this, BUT you mentioned that you want to sue. Anything you do will be brought into court. Soooooo maybe just let your lawyer be the one to do the screwing in this scenario.
Dreamsnaps19@reddit
Who is paying more in lawyer fees than what they’re going to get in return? This is small claims, you don’t need a lawyer.
Lxspos13@reddit
The burden is on the defendant to prove that the plaintiff took a shit in their moving boxes. You're gonna have to send that to the lab.
CorollaSE@reddit
She doesn't value anything that's left behind, so target things that she brings along with her.
Clothes she wears, hats, shoes, bags, phone are ALL things she brings along.
Raw prawn juice smells really bad after a few days.
Raw prawn juice can be diluted into a spray bottle and spread onto clothes, hats, shoes, bags or other liquid soaking material.
tilldeathdoiparty@reddit
Get a set of vice grips and kink the zippers on her jackets and pants, just one tooth needs to be misaligned for them to be useless.
QuantumMothersLove@reddit
Raw prawn juice diluted in a spray bottle. This is amazing.
werewolfelder@reddit
Locate someone who has bedbugs, get a bunch of them in a container in time to sprinkle them into her packed up bedding.
andrushaa@reddit
… read other OPs posts …
xsmp@reddit
wow.
Sct1787@reddit
Also wow.
FallOdd5098@reddit
He who comes to court must come with clean hands.
Frosty-Diver441@reddit
This is very true. I love hot revenge as much as the next person, but when you're going to court you need stay far away from any trouble. They aren't kidding when they say "can and will be used against you".
OkYouGotM3@reddit
Vacuum your area. Whatever is in the canister dump in their packed belongings.
Bright_Crazy1015@reddit
She got any proof that the stuff she's taking is hers?
She does owe you $850. Just saying.
atomicwoodchuck@reddit
fuck her dad.
EffReddit420@reddit
Piss dics
Overall_Horror708@reddit
Cat piss discs.
jsjd7211@reddit
I am her dad and I agree with this statement
Junior-Package3473@reddit
She neglected your CAT!!! THIS IS A DECLARATION OF WAR.
Illustrious-Reward-3@reddit
There's was a whole documentary called Don't Fuck With Cats, guess she didn't watch it.
Clevertown@reddit
I agree, that's crossing a serious line.
Disastrous-Tree1315@reddit
Slip some piss discs into her bags
TheGrumpySmurfer@reddit
What are.... piss discs?
two-of-me@reddit
From what I gather, you pee on a plate, put it in the freezer, now you have frozen pee to do what you will with it.
Honest-Western1042@reddit
lol you must be new here. Welcome.
Degen_Boy@reddit
If you have in unit laundry then toss some stinky shit (liquid ass or something of the sort) in while it’s in the dryer so it gets baked on. If there are no cameras outside and you can get her keys, pour some random shit into her gas tank. Piss on her mattress and say she did it. No way of proving otherwise. Make a passive aggressive post on social media about an unnamed roommate neglecting your cat. Everyone will know who it was. Refuse to help her move anything and order the cheapest bullshit amazon piece of furniture to your apartment on her move out day so they get in the way. Return it afterward. Park your car where you know her uhaul needs to go to be most convenient. Have your friends do the same. If she has curtain rods, take the ends off and fill them with shrimp. Obligatory piss disk.
servitor_dali@reddit
Spray bottle + milk
Add 25% water, to thin to a good sprayimg consistency. MIST EVERY FABRIC SHE OWNS.
it will not be immediately obvious, but it will become VERY obvious over time. It will never ever come out.
Jwzbb@reddit
Invite a hot date over that has aids.
being_less_white_@reddit
Omg
Typical-Lead-1881@reddit
How did she fuck your date 🤣
ShoutReachThrow@reddit
Anonymously sabotage any and all future employment and housing she has - make that bitch homeless or force her back to her parents place.
The cat needs justice!!
GothamLab11209@reddit
Take a turd and put it in her hair dryer. All you have to do is unscrew the part where the fan is and put it in there then close it back up. Alternatively you could pee in the dryer while her clothing is in there. I’m available for more suggestions. You’re welcome.
jamoe1@reddit
The obvious answer is put some nasty shit in her shit. Inject milk into her boxes that are packed, mattresses etc.
monkeymatt85@reddit
It would be pretty horrible if someone injected a bunch of milk into her mattress the day before she left
Fat-Buddy-8120@reddit
Weigh up your options here. Is it worth suing for $850? Will she pay even if you win? If so then takes absolutely no revenge. If you are prepared to write off the money to experience, then there are numerous ways you can fuck with here.
Lxspos13@reddit
Its like $75 to sue in small court. Worth it to be annoying. The problem is is that a judgment does not equal money and then it cost you more to enforce that judgment
Prize_Assumption4624@reddit
Leave piss discs in your house she won’t like the smell
cheesenuggets2003@reddit
Go back in time.
Don't pay her rent for her.
franglaisflow@reddit
The best revenge is living well. Good riddance.
Otherwise, you could also pay a homeless person 20$ to spray her with liquid ass (in Minecraft). But you might be better off just moving on.