ULPT request: How to make cheap housemate go insane
Posted by WebNo1998@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 30 comments
my new housemate promised to buy stuff when he was getting the contract such as washing machine since I don’t have one, he ended up buying nothing, using my stuff (literally everything), and hiding his toilet papers and shit while he is using my toilet papers (I catch him lol don’t ask)
How can I make him lose money and go insane?
fn3dav2@reddit
Maybe he's having unexpected cashflow problems? I think you should sit him down and talk to him if you haven't already. Don't be too much of a pushover though. He should make it up to you financially all the things he was supposed to pay for.
(And then lock your stuff up somehow.)
Few-Department-6263@reddit
Who gives a fuck if he has financial problems. Why is it on OP
fn3dav2@reddit
It's not. But maybe the housemate thought it was necessary for him to do this because of his financial problems and wasn't a big deal to OP.
Spiderfffun@reddit
He got a laptop or pc? Ask chatgpt to make you a python script to make every 25th key press not register, then ask how to compile to one file using pyinstaller. You get an exe that can run in the background.
Win + r, type in shell:startup, enter, and in the folder that opens up put in the exe. Now it launches on boot.
optionjunky@reddit
Wow Chatgpt can write python scripts? Then why not have it so something more insane, like cause his monitor go out at random times for like 3-20 seconds so he thinks his monitor is broken. Then say to him man I wish I had a monitor like this but I only got $25.he might sell it to you for 25 thinking he unloaded garbage onto you. Then when he gets a new one do it again but make sure it's after 4 or 5 weeks
Spiderfffun@reddit
Suspicious and difficult. This makes him think his keyboard is breaking
WanderingBraincell@reddit
fuckin saved. computer piss disk
Puzzleheaded_Put_623@reddit
That would be crazy my dde.
Single_Asparagus4793@reddit
This guy computers.
Best-Structure62@reddit
Drop a completed interest card in the mail for all of the branches of the military with his name on them. Sit back and enjoy.
FlailingBall@reddit
Leave barely used disposable plates everywhere
MillenialApathy@reddit
Offer to take his stuff to the laundromat because you dont have much to wash so dont mind fitting theirs in the mix. Make sure you've seen Roomie in their more expensive gear recently so you can get that in the pile. Show your clothes (aka some homeless dudes stuff you got for $2) and explain how its your most pricless piece. Come back 2hours later with nothing - say someone stole "our" clothes.
To add to insanity though, wait until roomie is away, wet their clothes in cold water then run them through a dryer at hottest possible temperature. Put them back how you found them, only shrunk a few sizes smaller. If not up for shrinking, wash their work clothes with cigarette butts and other stinky shit from the street, put it back before they notice it was gone.
Or just fill your room with camphor, then release a bunch of moths in their closet.
Invite friends over for a party when you see Roomie has the fridge and pantry well stocked. Tell your mates to eat everything, take stuff home for themselves. Or just say you had a party and clean out. When Roomie asks about it, say they'll have to ask your "work mates" because you made clear it wasnt yours to take, and these people will own up if they did it: Give him random large-business phone numbers to call for "Tom" and "Sally" to pay for his milk.
Or just lock all your pantry items in your room, storage tub, then release pantry moths in the kitchen. For more insanity, just put random dead bugs in their food.
Snip ceiling light wires, fridge wires, any wire with enough slack to strip and rejoin later (remember to flick off the fuse first), and remove parts from anything mechanical (doors, toilet, chairs) - all stuff you can fix for $0-5 or arent affected by, but will cost Roomie a full trade repair job to figure out.
Hide Roomie's key or replace it on the keyring with a matching dud key, play dumb. Don't answer the door when they inevitably bang on it to be let in, pretend you're asleep.
If they have a car, thats a goldmine for shit that'll make someone go insane.
SnooPandas1899@reddit
had a roomate that was a follow of judaisim, lets just say.
used his toothbrush to clean toilet.
fvck u nathan.
Educational-Tap-5611@reddit
Unethical life tips, not racist life tips.
Single_Asparagus4793@reddit
Leave your turds in the toilet, use hand towel to wipe because there is no TP (if shared bathroom, if not, that’s just gross). Piss discs under his door. Eat his food. Shit in his shoes. You’re welcome.
Few-Department-6263@reddit
You do not fuck about. Wow
mercmcl@reddit
Thanks. I needed a laugh.
smashmikehunt@reddit
Piss discs and fart spray
Len_S_Ball_23@reddit
If the fart spray is in a pump cannister, take the pump head off and pour it in with the piss.
Rachel_Silver@reddit
Pepper spray your toilet paper.
GakkoAtarashii@reddit
Bullshit.
earth_west_420@reddit
found op's roommate
Glante@reddit
????
jankyj@reddit
Take his wallet and drop the cards all over the city.
KingReoJoe@reddit
Post his card info on X, anonymously. Be sure to notify the bots by mentioning how much crypto you want to. It.
Witty_Candle_3448@reddit
Put a keyed lock on your door. Keep your food in your room, get mini refrigerator for cold items.
Significant-Win-4405@reddit
Nutella on the toilet seat until he gets used to that, then drop the real thing.
deltoro1984@reddit
Watch Cache (French film) - best example of how to duck with someone! You'll be at an advantage and disadvantage to be living with him while you stalk and videotape him and send him threatening drawings.
crewmannumbersix@reddit
Take out his SIM card, scratch it on the corner with a sharp tool, but not enough to be noticeable. Put the SIM card back in. As long as he is not using an eSIM, it will ruin his day hopefully.
Apart_Ad9219@reddit
Play the mosquito ringtone all night while wearing ear plugs.