SHTF Umbrella? | TheaterFire

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SebWilms2002@reddit

I suggest a poncho. A poncho will protect your head, entire body, even the bag on your back, while keeping your hands free. An umbrella is fine for light to moderate rain, but changing winds make them much less effective and as mentioned they occupy a hand.

My life changed, living in a place where it rains 2/3 of the year, when I ditched the umbrella for the poncho. As far as sun, appropriate clothing and headwear do the trick.

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Traditional-Leader54@reddit

This! I highly recommend a good poncho like a USGI. They come in a lot of different colors besides camo and green.

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SnooMarzipans4304@reddit

You can make an emergency tent or sleeping bag with an army poncho.

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Sad-Pop6649@reddit

You can hide stuff under it if you have to leave the stuff behind for a while. Like say (one side of) a small boat. You can tie it into a sack for carrying stuff or to store food in a tree. You can collect rainwater with it, potentially even while also sleeping under it. You can use it as a windscreen for cooking or just for warmth. And it combines well with a sweater for different combinations of rain/wind/cold/sun protection. A sturdy waterproof poncho is a great camping/survival tool.

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Traditional-Leader54@reddit

Exactly!

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nanneryeeter@reddit

Man I used to love having both when backpacking. Heavy rain put on the poncho and attach the umbrella to the pack.

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1aba_rpger@reddit

there's always the so called unbreakable unbrella
https://unbreakableumbrella.com/

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OnTheEdgeOfFreedom@reddit

Ok, that website is a riot. Seriously tempted to get one just because they get marketing.

Wind tunnel test: "The umbrella is fine. You would not be."

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Crypto_Rogue@reddit

I can vouch for the Unbreakable Umbrella. I have both the standard version and the telescoping version. They are marketed as a "self-defense" umbrella. I commuted into the city for years by bus and frequently had to wait an hour or more in the pouring rain. No shelter at my bus stop. Not even a tree. (I thank my deity every day now that I am retired) While I never had to bring my special forces training to bear against an evildoer (I was a door gunner on the Space Shuttle), I did require a really big and sturdy umbrella. While expensive, the Unbreakable Umbrella did not disappoint.

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ArcyRC@reddit

Yeah I'm vouching for this, too. But don't do something like bricks and boards and things to test it. It's really strong but you'll rip tiny holes in the fabric by hitting hard or coarse things. Unbreakable-but-leaky isn't as impressive.

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Just-Me3@reddit

This has to be a troll, talking about SHTF umbrellas…

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kiwiprepper@reddit

Next thing... SHTF towels. Never leave home without it. It's a weapon, a drying device, you can boil it for food in a pinch...

😆

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CypherCake@reddit

Also, a portion of rope and your cooking gear.

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nj_finance_dad@reddit

I know you're being sarcastic, but I actually keep these in all of my car, overnight & work bags

https://amzn.to/4iIYXBl

They are incredibly handy and pretty durable and unlike other compressed towels do not require water to get to full size.

Don't forget to bring a towel!

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kiwiprepper@reddit

Agree, my friend. Was injecting some innocent humour:)

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clk9565@reddit

Always know where your towel is!

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broke_af_guy@reddit

Wanna get high?

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CypherCake@reddit

I gave up on umbrellas, got a good raincoat.

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enstillhet@reddit

Best umbrella I have is one my dad nicked from the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in Boston back in the 90s. I basically never have use for an umbrella, though.

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MadRhetorik@reddit

I use a Pipeliners Cloud as my outside umbrella whenever I’m grilling or want some shade outside. I travel with it as well. It’s a tad expensive at $400 but I’ve had mine for going on 3 years with no issues and it lives in the back of my work truck. It’s really big and stout, handles up to like 65mph winds and is essentially bombproof. It’s also an 8 foot umbrella so it’s a little heavy because the fabric is heavy material. But it’s amazing and I’d recommend it to anyone.

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Femveratu@reddit

They used to make one that was either steel reinforced or solid steel suitable for supposedly for self defense in addition to umbrella use and was supposed to be able to handle 70 MPH winds it was golf umbrella size blanking on the name good luck

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temerairevm@reddit

I don’t think of it as a prep but at one point I decided to treat myself to a high quality golf umbrella for our camper. It’s sturdy and it’s huge and when you camp with dogs it’s nice when a 90# dog can get under there with you.

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AlphaDisconnect@reddit

You are looking for a heavy canvas tent. Umbrellas might as well be disposable.

Beyond that. The best gore tex jacket, pants and boots you can find. The military ones are nice because they put a cloth cussed on elbows and knees on top of the gore tex.

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Level-Worldliness-20@reddit

A tarp is all purpose and easy to store

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sovereignsekte@reddit

I'm looking to one that has hidden guns and knives. And also turns into a helicopter. And also will one day help me defeat Batman.

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The-Mond@reddit

Inspector Gadget has entered the chat

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TacticalHoonigan@reddit

Be sure to stay on a strict no-exercise regimen. Gotta pack on those calories so you can have the fuel necessary to keep Batman on his toes.

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Ashley_Sophia@reddit

Umbrellas suck. Source: Have several.

Personally, I would invest in a decent hiking jacket with hood. They ain't cheap but I've worn mine throughout some pretty gnarly weather and it's basically impenetrable.

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mistresselevenstars@reddit

Gustbuster is rated up to 55mph winds. The Unbreakable Umbrella is the equivalent of carrying a steel pipe

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icosahedronics@reddit

well I got tired of my umbrellas falling apart from typical use so I spent some extra cash for an "indestructible" version. it hasn't given me any problems yet and it looks like a normal umbrella so I guess that's a win.

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Throwawayconcern2023@reddit

I'm not sure Rhianna is the ultimate answer.

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tantricengineer@reddit

Poncho is the way.

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BeneficialBack1264@reddit

OP builds 15 pound, bullet proof umbrella from armor plate and composite material.

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Tubbygoose@reddit

Blunt Umbrellas are where it’s at. They recently did a collaboration with Snoop Dogg (has to be the name, right?) but I have a plain black Metro one that is practically indestructible.

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-zero-below-@reddit

I use lightweight compact backpacking umbrella.

I find that by the time wind is high enough to compromise an umbrella, you have sideways rain that bypasses it.

I have the six moon designs folding umbrella; and it’s small enough that when it gets windy, I can fold it into a pocket.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B07NP7Z4Y8

I also keep a rain jacket and rain pants, for when the umbrella isn’t working.

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Hoyle33@reddit

Step 1 - go to the gym

Step 2 - build steel umbrella

Step 3 - die of dysentery and never get to use the umbrella

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UnfinishedThings@reddit

This guy Oregon Trails

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forgeblast@reddit

After watching riots and seeing how people used them like a phalanx to dispatch tear gas etc ... It's probably not a bad idea. Golf umbrella size has a point part or you could attach a spike to the middle. You would just need a really reinforced umbrella. Maybe even kevlar lined....which according to this would be crazy expensive. https://real-self-defense.com/self-defense-tip-59-bulletproof-umbrella/

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Passafire_420@reddit

Been watching them using umbrellas to combat thermals and drones in Ukraine. Cheap and effective

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less_butter@reddit

I'm 46 years old and have never owned an umbrella in my life. And I live in an area that gets 40-50" of rain a year and is considered a temperate rain forest.

People around here just wear rain jackets outside when it's raining. I seriously can't even remember the last time I saw someone walking around in town with an umbrella.

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_ssuomynona_@reddit

I agree. I always have one in the car and another clipped to the stroller. I can put baby in the baby carrier or stroller and then use the umbrella for me. A poncho would be uncomfortable for me baby wearing and rain would slide down my arms when pushing a stroller. Umbrella makes more sense and it packs smaller. I always bring jackets and a blanket with us anyways.

I remember watching this Australian movie where the dad wants to take his young kid on a camping trip. He gets lost and keeps driving. The tires pops on a rock. He drives on the flat tires. The exhaust so low starts a fire from the dry brush he’s driving over. The car is in flames and he manages to grab a jug of water. They’re walking in the hot dry sun. He even digs a hole to put his kid in so he can get help. If he grabbed an umbrella too, they’d have some shade. I think a poncho in that climate would be great at night but stifling in the day. Maybe have both depending on your climate.

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hyped-up-idiot@reddit

Have you asked the Penguin where he shops? Maybe a hike to get to Gotham tho 🤔

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sobrietyincorporated@reddit

The skin of the weak stretched across the bones of their children. /s

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AdditionalAd9794@reddit

Never really used an umbrella, if it's cold rainy, put your hood on, if the sun is burning your head, put a hat on

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veritoast@reddit

Greetings, Oregonian!

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firekeeper23@reddit

If you want to get ahead... get a hat.

And don't go to Ilkley Moore without it.

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flower-power-123@reddit

While I find the idea of dealing with nuclear war by hoisting an umbrella to be quixotic and hilarious but I don't want to poo poo it. I follow Dixie at Homemade Wanderlust. I am floored by this woman's strength and discipline. She hikes (not like hiking to Trader Joe's but climbing mountains) for literal years at a time. She has done multiple through hikes. That means that she starts on one side of the continent and walks to the other. She is much more experienced and much more practical than 99% of us. She is not afraid of bears, bugs, lethal cold temperatures, rapists, etc. She has figured out a few things over the years. One of her tip was to use an umbrella hat. I think of umbrella hats as kind of like a novelty item but they seem to have a following in the backpacking community. The theory is that rain gear will (mostly) keep you dry but the raindrops will carry away heat from your body. The point is to avoid having raindrops hit you at all so you stay warm. The hiking umbrella is also a thing and the ultralight community has many options to choose from. I don't like the idea of an carrying an umbrella for days. Also around here, due to high winds, it will be toast in a few minutes. Have you thought about a Gloucester Fisherman's hat?

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Mysterious_Touch_454@reddit

I suggest umbrella that helps against drone-infrared/heat cameras.

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Justshipmypants@reddit

That’s any umbrella.

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butherletus@reddit

Clothes. Rain jacket, poncho, tarp, fishing gear etc. Way more durable, easier to carry, and wind wont destroy it. I live in a windy area, I pretty much never use an umbrella because they're useless in wind and only keep your top half dry on a good day.

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gilbert2gilbert@reddit

I think you've overestimated, sir

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whyamihereagain6570@reddit

You need one of the ones like the guy has in "Kingsman, The Secret Service".. 😁

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learn2cook@reddit

I think of it as the umbrella you have on hand vs the one you left home. I can easily carry a rather flimsy ultra compact umbrella and have it on me at all times vs have a “bomb proof” ultra sturdy umbrella that’s so large as to only bring it with me when I have forewarning I’ll need it. I suppose each has its role but it’s pretty universal that the one you are able to carry beats the one you left at home or in the car. I find the little flimsy umbrellas are great to block the sun, and hold up well when the wind direction is predictable enough to angle into it. But maybe those major storms are good enough reason to hunker down especially if there’s lightning. Idk.

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Mochigood@reddit

Look up a 24 rib umbrella on Amazon. I have one that I've used A LOT for 15 years now in Oregon rain and winds and it's still going strong. Wind will tear it out of your hands before it ever flips inside out.

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YardFudge@reddit

Chrome doom

Very common in the backpacking community

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TheRedGoatAR15@reddit

A hat.

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No-Dimension1550@reddit

Best I can think of - EuroSCHIRM Swing Trek Liteflex